Love and Care
"Natsu was there?" Cana asked.
"Loke said that the one who shot you was from Drakes. Does this mean..."
I tiredly nodded. I feel like I've been shot by Natsu directly. I hoped, even just a little, that he wouldn't do it.
I nodded, "I don't know who it is but it's from Natsu's side."
"But…" Cana paused, her face displayed confused and worried, "Why were you shot?"
"I wasn't supposed to be shot. Their target was dad or uncle. I covered dad when we're running to go inside the Home. That's when I got hit."
My head started spinning again. The painful throb of my wound reminded me that what happened was true, if Cana's interrogation wasn't enough evidence. I took a look at what's beneath my dress. There's no wound, unlike what I've been seeing in my dreams and hazy memories.
Levy grimaced while walking towards me, "You should be lying down…"
"No, No, I'm fine," I insisted.
"So you saved your father from that bullet? Who else got shot?" Cana asked.
"I don't know but from what I remembered, some of our bodyguards were wounded already before we got inside the Home. I don't know how it ended or how many casualties were suffered..."
"Cana!" Levy snapped, "You shouldn't ask her those questions!"
"It's okay, Lev," I assured.
Both their heads turned to the door when it opened. Loke's vibrant hair cannot go unnoticed as his head peeked inside the room.
"She's awake..." Loke said while proceeding to go inside after confirming my consciousness.
He went inside with a doctor and a nurse. Virgo soon followed with daddy.
"Are you okay?" daddy quickly went beside my bed. How foreign he feels about this situation was evident in his face.
"I'm fine..." I tiredly nodded. "Excuse me, Mr. Heartfilia..." the doctor said.
Daddy stood up and moved aside to give space for the doctor who inspected my wound. He instructed me to sit while the nurse helped me.
He also checked the dextrose and presented his hand to receive the notes from the nurse. He whispered something to the nurse that was too hushed to be heard.
"She's okay for now. She just needs to rest. She needs to heal the wounds. We also need to stop the bleeding," the doctor started.
"Thank God and no internal organs was damaged!" Loke said before looking at daddy.
"She needs to rest. What's important right now is that she's safe with her baby. You need to take care of yourself to heal faster…"
The doctor continued talking but I was too stunned to follow what he's saying. What is it? There must be something wrong!
I heard Levy gasped. It confirmed that what he said was true and I'm not the only one who heard it. "Baby?" Levy asked before looking at Cana.
"Wait, what is it again, doc?" daddy asked.
My jaw dropped. I feel like my soul left my body. My body felt numb as I stared into nothing while my tears started to fall.
"The baby..." the doctor's eyes shifted from me to daddy, "Oh! You didn't know? She's five weeks pregnant. Congratulations!" the doctor smiled; his lips were stretched so wide like he just discovered the cure for cancer.
All of us didn't smile except Virgo who clapped her hands excitedly, "I love babies!" which was ignored by everyone. I also couldn't smile. I didn't even believe him. He's got to be kidding!
Loke gasped while Cana and Levy talked in hushed voice that I couldn't catch. Loke took steps towards me before holding my hand.
"Please tell me it's Sting's..." he slowly said like he's stopping himself from bursting.
Hot tears streamed down my face. How can it be? I took pills! I did everything Natsu wants! I did everything to avoid this! Natsu doesn't want for this to happen and I know myself I'm not ready for this! How can this happen?
"But doc, you must've made a mistake! I'm on pills..." my voice trembled.
The doctor's eyebrows furrowed, "Nope. We checked you before prescribing medicines. We have to be careful. We found out that you're pregnant. You must've missed a day or so when you took the pill. Excuse me, we'll be back for more tests."
The doctor turned his back and left with the nurse.
I bit my lip. I missed twice. I tightly closed my eyes. I am pregnant with Natsu's child? After all these? I couldn't process the thought. I kept on repeating what the doctor said but it failed to sink in.
"Lucy, please tell me this is Sting's child!" Loke said with a hint of anger.
I shook my head. I heard a loud thud and saw Loke who's now standing in front of the wall with his hands clenched like he just punched the concrete wall. He cursed loudly while Virgo tried to calm him down.
"Dad!" Loke shouted.
"I have filed a Restraining Order, Loke! They cannot go near us anymore! And besides, I'm going to file a case!" daddy explained.
"Who's the father, Lucy?" a confused Virgo asked.
"We'll be keeping this a secret!" daddy's authoritarian voice ate Virgo's question.
"What shall we do, Dad?" Loke asked, frustrated.
"Contact our lawyers again, Loke. Tell Sting to come here,"daddy paused. "We won't tell the media about all these. Lucy, you're going out of the country… away from this mess. You are not going to tell that Dragneel that you're pregnant. That child will bear my name," he said with finality.
I didn't even try to protest. That was it. I am not going to let Natsu touch my child. I am not going to even let him know that we have this.
Loke threw a punch at the wall again. Virgo continued on bugging him about the father. I heard daddy called Loke before going outside. He followed daddy and Virgo decided to give us space too.
The tears from my eyes started to fall. Why is this happening? Am I really pregnant with his child? Why now?
I touched my stomach with my right hand. It's like everything that happened to mommy and daddy is happening to me now. That one-night stand, that physical arrangement… and this…
He used me. He used me for his revenge. Everything that he gave, made me feel, all of those are fake! All of those are just to get my trust. He succeeded. He hurt me. He might've failed to touch dad but he managed to succeed with his revenge through me.
Levy hugged me, "Oh my gosh, you're pregnant!"
I nodded, tears still decorating my face. I touched my tummy. I can't feel anything.
Now I wonder if mom got so mad when she found out she's pregnant with my dad's child? I'm not mad right now. I'm just sad. I'm sad for my child. I'm sad because I'm aware of the fact that my baby won't have the chance to experience the happiness of having a complete family like me.
Back then, I remembered dreaming that if ever I'll get pregnant, my baby wouldn't end up like me. I hoped for my baby to have a complete family. That he or she won't need to endure the pain I had. I don't want my child to experience that. But then… I won't be able to give that to my child anymore. The only thing I can give him or her now is my love. True and unconditional love. My child will be the only thing I'll think of. He or she will be the only one to receive my love and attention.
"Stop crying!" Cana scolded; her lips were trembling while she wiped my tears.
"I can't help it... Cana…" I heard my voice cracked but I looked at her, pleading to keep everything between us.
The brunette shook her head, "Not my secret to tell, don't worry…" she assured, "Stop crying, Lu. That's bad for the baby…"
I shook my head, "Just for now... I just really want to cry."
"Why? Are you sad or happy?" Levy asked.
I can't explain my feelings through words. My throat hurts and I'm having a hard time swallowing because of these overwhelming feelings. All I can do is cry to somehow lift the heavy thing that is crushing my chest with the support of my two best friends.
"Both..."
"Please don't think about aborting the baby, Lucy!" I sensed a warning in Levy's voice.
I quickly disapproved of her claims, "I am not going to do that, Levy! No way!" my voice cracked.
I touched my tummy again. I wonder how mommy felt when she knew she's pregnant with me? I don't have a clue. All I know is that right now, I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I won't be alone anymore. I've been alone for how many years but now that my baby is here, I'll never be alone again. Sad... sad because I can't give him or her the life he or she deserves. I can't give a complete family.
I tightly closed my eyes. My love, you will not be abandoned. I will love you with all of me. With all of my heart. I will not keep people who won't love you. I will never let anyone hurt you. That is my promise to you.
Natsu did not want a child, in the first place. He himself is the one who wanted me to take contraceptives after all. He doesn't want one because he only wanted to use me. In every way. Physically, mostly. And he needed me for the information.
I shouldn't be thinking of him anymore. It will only give me a slight hope when I shouldn't hope at all.
"Whatever happens, I am not going to do that to my baby..." I shook my head to prove my point.
I fell asleep after that, not minding Cana and Levy anymore. All I wanted that time was to have a break after all those overwhelming revelations.
My dreams about what happened during that opening and how I got shot by Natsu got frequent. It's his onyx eyes that I always see before I fall and bleed in my dreams. It's almost repetitive. I feel like I'm hallucinating or something.
I woke up to an argument inside my room. I was still weak while slowly opening my eyes. I heard Loke's voice.
"Let's not do that to Lucy. I'm sure she won't agree..." my brother said.
"But if Sting's willing, I know she'll be grateful for it!" daddy exclaimed.
The both of them started bickering again. I heard a calm voice, it was Sting, "I'm willing, Loke…"
"Sting, I know. But we shouldn't just decide without Lucy's approval. Besides, isn't it unfair to you?"
"I've been really unfair to Lucy for the past years. This is the least I can do after all she's been through because of me," Sting said in a calm voice.
"We still need to hear Lucy's side," my brother insisted.
"She will be grateful! She can give her baby a complete family. If Sting and her will get married, that Dragneel can't pester her anymore. That man will rot in jail!" Daddy said.
I rubbed my eyes. Sting saw my tiny movements and he quickly went to me. Loke and daddy also walked towards my bed,
"Lucy..." Sting started.
"How many hours have I been asleep?" I asked before looking at Loke.
Loke looked at his wristwatch, "14 hours, Lucy…"
I turned to daddy and Sting who are both waiting for me to speak, "I'm hungry."
The both of them panicked after hearing it. Daddy went to the intercom to call for a nurse while Sting was on his phone immediately. He turned his back to talk to whoever is on the line. Loke, now sitting on the space beside me, shook his head at them.
"Am I still not allowed to leave the hospital?" I asked.
I know my wound isn't healed yet but I'm feeling better. I wanted to go now and just rest in my condo.
"Lucy, you'll stay here until the doctors give the approval for you to travel."
My insides went cold because of his words. I know I have to leave. I have accepted that fact. It's also the only way I can think of. Besides, I want a peaceful life for my child. I don't want this mess.
"Where... am I going?"
"You have the choice," daddy butted in. "You can stay with your Aunt Leandra in Alakitasia, she's going home there with her family. Or you can stay in our house in Stella, Lucy…Anywhere you want. You know your uncle can check on you while you're there."
"I can go with you, Lucy..." Sting offered.
My eyes shifted from dad to Sting before finally resting in Loke. I've heard them talk about my decisions.
"Dad, Natsu... can find me in those places." I don't know why that became my concern.
Sting's jaw clenched after hearing Natsu's name. Daddy shook his head like he's so sure about it,
"He can't leave Fiore. As long as there's a case. Besides, your Uncle Deneb will be there to make sure you're fine," daddy assured.
"I can come with you, Lucy..." Sting repeated.
I sighed deeply. The pain I was feeling yesterday slightly subdued so there's no discomfort in me while breathing anymore.
"I'm going to be fine..."
"Dear," daddy softly started, "Sting can stay with you. He actually..." He chuckled before continuing, "Even wants to marry you."
I sharply looked at daddy, "I am not going to marry anyone..."
Sting gasped before sitting on my bed. My brows furrowed while staring at him. They're won't succeed in convincing me to do anything stupid!
"But Lucy, that would be better so your child would have a father. The baby will be safer. You won't need to be bothered by questions from the media or your friends. Dear, think of what's good for your child."
I shook my head. That is not the answer for this. I can love my child genuinely even without marrying.
"You, of all people, should know that a complete family would be better for a child."
"I didn't need a complete family, dad. I only want love from the people I loved the most. I only want to feel it. Even if we're it's not complete. Even if it's just the tiniest bit of love, I just wanted to feel it…" my voice started to tremble. Damn, stupid tears! "That's the only thing I wanted before."
I saw how dad's eyes became reddish. Sting sighed while Loke went beside me.
"So... you sure you'll be fine?" Loke asked.
I nodded before wiping a tear that managed to escape my eyes. Loke's hand softly touched my cheek to wipe my tears that I didn't notice.
"Dear, I just don't want you to regret..." daddy's voice trembled when he said that to me.
"Regret what? Regret not giving my child a complete family?"
He went silent. I figured that's what he meant by that.
"Why, dad? Did you regret that you didn't give me a complete family?"
Daddy couldn't answer. Loke turned to him while Sting stayed quiet.
"I don't need a complete family. Besides, if you did give me the complete family you're talking about, Loke and Virgo wouldn't be here. I don't need a complete family… what I wanted was your love, your care, that's all... You didn't marry mom for an important reason. Because you can't get along with each other, right? So it was probably better that you didn't stayed together. You two wouldn't be happy if you were just forcing yourselves. What I want was just a very natural thing, dad... Love and care... that is all. That is all..." I started sobbing.
I saw the tears that started to fall from daddy's eyes. He started crying too. Loke stood up and gently patted dad's shoulders for comfort. Sting went closer to me and wiped my tears.
"I'm sorry, Lucy..." daddy's voice cracked.
A mix of anger and sadness filled me but when I heard how weak and regretful he sounded when he apologized, it opened my eyes to reality. I will forgive him for hurting me. I will forgive him for anything.
Daddy walked closer to me and tightly held both my hands. My lips trembled while looking at him.
"Whoever did this will suffer, I'm gonna make them pay…"
