A/N - This is the last chapter! I'll work on an epilogue. But thank you so much for going through this journey with me from start to finish! I love you all so much. When I began this story, I was dying inside from when Cas walked out on Dean and I had to sit down and expel my feelings. Then I gained friends from this fic. I fell in love and I got my heart broken too. Now, I'm right here with you guys and I appreciate you being here with me too.
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Three weeks later and Cas was driving his newly acquired blue sedan down the highway with his windows rolled down. It was close to five o'clock and the weather was perfectly serene. The sky was dusted with an orange and pink that reminded him of an assortment of candy only found in a certain part of Jamaica. The song 'Wild Roses' by Of Monsters and Men seemed to capture him in a nostalgic moment, one that reminded him of Dean.
Most songs reminded him of Dean. The long winding highway reminded him of Journey's song 'Faithfully' and although they had always been meeting each other halfway over the years, now it felt as if he had melted into Dean's existence. Funny enough though, it wasn't completely physical, but it was more like watching a teabag sink into boiling water and the golden color swirl around until the opaqueness was completely overwhelmed. Their love was the teabag in the analogy. The boiling water was the wars and the universe and the chaos.
Now, he briefly checked his phone and wondered why Sam had called so late for help on a hunt on a Sunday evening when Cas was almost prepared to drown in movies on TCM. He had on his favorite pjs; covered in a pattern of yellow bees when the younger Winchester had called. There was a bowl of popcorn resting on the sofa in the den. And now, he was dressed in a soft long-sleeved navy-blue shirt, a pair of black jeans and Dean's black leather jacket that he never really wore anymore.
Now he was headed to a small town called Hope in Texas and all he was asked to bring was himself. Why though? Why had a case involving a nest of werewolves become so difficult that the Winchesters felt the need to uproot him from his TCM marathon? On a Sunday night? And now, after nosing the sedan into the town that was dimly lit, he forgot what the name of the place was that they had asked him to meet them at.
"The Loft", Sam said into the phone after two rings, "come down Main, drive all the way until you see a funny looking bright yellow post office, and make a left. Then you'll see the bar. It's the only blue flat building with Baby parked out front."
Finding the car was easy enough. But as Cas walked into a place that briefly reminded him of a café and a bar giving birth to this establishment, he frowned. The inside walls were made of thick mahogany, and pictures hung displayed famous country singers including The Dixie Chicks and Lady Antebellum. The layout was shaped like a U, with booths around and an island serving as a bar in the middle and for a Sunday, just a few people were gathered for drinks.
But the most surprising element of the entire setting apart from a dashing looking Dean and a tired Sam, was the presence of three other faces. Claire sat with her chin propped up on her palm, Jody beamed at him with all the love and warmth and then there was…
"Jack?" Cas was so stunned, he almost thought he was hallucinating for a moment.
Stiffly unfolding himself from the table, the young man who he had loved, claimed as his son, and lost tragically, enveloped him into a hug that he never wanted to end. And for the first time in a long time, Cas felt as if he was really being dealt the best cards in the deck. Like everything was fitting together in his life and just from the look of utter love on Dean's face, he knew that the hunter felt the same. This wasn't just a big win; it was a phenomenal gift.
"Claire and I were working this case not too far from here," Jody was explaining, whilst Dean left to grab Cas something to drink, "and I'm talking, a pack of rabid werewolves like nothing you've seen before. Then after the boys showed up," she jerked her chin at Sam, "we found the entire pack, like fifteen of them dead –"
"I was thinking that it was weird as hell," Sam butted in.
"But then, we ran into this one here," Jody smiled at Jack, "who as Claire said and I quote 'could wave his hand like Harry Potter and wipe out a city if he wanted to'. And for most of it, he saved us some good drama."
Dean came back, slid into the booth and handed a ginger ale over to Cas. Their eyes lingered on one another. Jack noticed the change in their demeanor and the lack of tension and he frowned.
"Are you two finally a couple?"
After the question, Sam snorted, Claire smirked with her arms folded, Jody shook her head smiling and Dean…well his cheeks were flushed.
"Yes, we are," Cas said in his gravelly voice. "Jack, how are you back on earth?"
"Billie brought me back," he said simply, his face revealing nothing but innocence as usual. "She rescued me from the Empty and gave me a mission." But then he smiled widely. "To take down the bad guys."
"More or less what we've been doing for ages," Dean scrubbed at his cheeks as if trying to wipe away the color. He avoided eye contact with Cas and the hand that gripped his beer was a bit unsteady. "Seems like Billie is using Jack as some kind of a superhero to destroy rabid monsters. Kind of like her new and improved Oliver Queen equipped with a list and all."
Claire sniggered from her corner of the booth. "More like The Chosen One." Everyone glanced at her and Jack frowned deeply, not quite getting the reference.
"So," Sam cleared his throat, moving his beer bottle around in a small circle, "he's become her puppet."
"No, she doesn't control me," Jack's forehead creased, "she just tells me when and where they are and I'm left to do whatever it is that I must do."
Cas was completely worried by this. He hadn't even touched his ginger ale. "How long have you been back on earth?"
"A week," Jack said, then he rapidly shook his head. "So, why did it take you two so long?" Glancing from Dean to the angel, he seemed confused. "When you died, Dean was devastated. And the reason why I brought you back was because of how much he seemed to love you. So why did it take so long for you to become a couple?"
"Some things take time, honey," Jody lightly patted him on his back, offering Dean a sympathetic look from across the table. "Wasn't easy for either of them to get here, but they figured it out."
"Well I'm glad," Jack smiled and folded his arms. He sat back, and appeared quite similar to Claire who was sitting in the same attitude.
Throughout the evening though, apart from the questions swirling around about Jack's manipulations by Billie and his week of absence, Cas wondered why Dean was avoiding eye contact. It really wasn't like him to stare at his bottle of beer for such a prolonged period. Neither was it normal for Dean to glance away as soon as he felt Cas' eyes on him. And the more the time progressed without the two of them looking at each other, Cas' worry grew.
He wasn't quite sure whether something had happened between them. The last time they had talked, everything had been fine. Dean had been on the road for two days, and had called that morning to ask Cas if had a good night's sleep, knowing fully well that the angel never didn't sleep at all. And after their usual banter about whether Cas had binged on Netflix or transferred any stuffed animals onto the hunter's bed, they both ended off with affectionate words.
Now though, Dean was distant. He wasn't contributing to the conversations going around the table continuously and the only other person who seemed to notice was Jody. Sam and Claire were involved in a heated discussion about hybrid monsters breeding in Illinois whilst Jack studied them with his usual intriguing look.
"Looking tired there, Dean," Jody said with a smile, appearing quite motherly in her denim jacket, black and red floral top and faded blue jeans. "Did you pull an all nighter or what?"
"Couldn't sleep," was all Dean said with a shrug.
Cas' heart was aching. "And I specifically told you last night to get some rest."
"Yeah, well I've had a lot on my mind."
"The case," Cas said studying Dean's countenance carefully.
The hunter sighed. "And then some. Had me up for a while. I'll be good as new though. No worries."
"Anyway, so we should be heading out now," Jody pushed herself up and gestured at Claire who lazily stretched and grabbed her bag. "Missy has an exam tomorrow that she cannot and will not miss or fail."
"Finals," Claire explained to Cas as she slid out of the booth and he hugged her. "And yeah, I'm still doing the college thingee. I figured that I'd try to balance hunting with studying. And so far, it's working out alright."
"That's good," Cas pressed a kiss onto her forehead and smiled. "When will I see you again?"
Claire threw a glance at Dean. The two of them exchanged smiles and she fist bumped him. "Soon," she said to both of them. "And don't worry. Everything between Dean and I are sorted out."
"Water under the bridge," the older Winchester waved it off as insubstantial.
Claire winked at him and something passed between them. "Would love to spend a week during summer with my two dads who wouldn't hound me for not wearing makeup or not wearing girly clothes…"
"Hey watch your mouth!" Jody tugged on her arm.
"Goodbye, Claire," Jack said smiling widely.
She smiled back warmly and winked. "Bye bro. Next time we meet up, we'll exchange hunting skills. I'll teach you how to use knives and weapons and how to fight."
"I'd like that," Jack said simply.
After they had left, most of what transpired throughout the conversation was how Billie had managed to complete her plan to yank Jack out of the Empty. Her intentions seemed to be justified since what Jack had been doing was simply hunting, something they all had been doing for years. But to Dean, he expressed concern over the notion that Billie seemed to be using Jack as her slave to do her dirty work. He was still a kid. He was powerful, no doubt about that, but what were her motives?
Within the week of Jack's return, he had tackled more than his share of hunts. And in each and every instance, the threat to the community was higher. Had he not done exactly what was required of him, then whatever the monsters had been planning would have ended the lives of more than enough civilians. And although Dean seemed to be quite intrigued by the plot revealed by Jack, he was still far from focused.
After they left that night and headed to the motel, Cas rode up front and couldn't shake the awful feeling he had buried inside of his chest. It reached a point where he couldn't take his eyes off of Dean whilst the other man drove them down the streets. He couldn't just sit there and pretend that what was bubbling up inside of him felt like everything was okay. Because it wasn't. And he couldn't come right out and ask Dean what it was in front of the other two because he had a feeling that Dean's thoughts were private.
So, when Jack and Sam left the car and headed into the room, the taller Winchester throwing a sheepish look over his shoulder, Dean got out. He went around to the back, popped the trunk and began pawing through his duffel bag. Cas pushed his door open, and stepped into the cool of the night with a heavy heart. Nothing was wrong, he told himself. Nothing could be wrong between them because for the past few weeks, everything had been so blissful.
He decided that eventually, they would have to address the elephant in the room and rounding the car, he invaded Dean's space.
The hunter at first acknowledged Cas' lingering presence and remained silent.
"Dean," Cas' voice was low. The wind bit his cheeks. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm fine," the hunter said barely glancing at the other man. "You head on inside. Be there in a minute."
"You don't seem…fine."
Dean, huffing out a sigh, closed the trunk and stood up. He heaved his duffel bag into Cas' arms and the angel hugged the other man's belongings with a frown. Their eyes met and inside green ones was the kind of look that suggested uncertainty. And was that…nervousness? Perhaps he was reading the light in Dean's eyes wrong.
"Room 4B," Dean said handing over the key with a small blue tag. When their fingers brushed, the hunter's chest trembled. "Um," he swallowed and smiled, "I need to check something under the hood. Heard a funny rattling sound early."
"I…didn't hear anything –" Cas was frowning.
"Look," pinching the bridge of his nose, the other man chuckled, "just let me check. I'll be quick. And then we'll talk and –"
"Dean," Cas said, pleading with his eyes. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"
The hunter's lips twitched into that small smile again. "Of course not. We're fine. I'm just tired, is all. Go on in. Meet you there soon."
Cas, still not convinced that Dean's words were reflective of his state of mind, defeatedly walked towards the motel. Hugging the bag, he found the room easily and heard Sam's laughter erupting from behind 4A. So much for trying to not keep secrets from each other because it appeared as if Dean wasn't ready to reveal to him what his worries were. Nevertheless, he pushed the key in, still feeling like there were cracks inside his chest and he opened the door.
At first, when Cas flipped on the light, he was unsure of whether the setting before him was an illusion or he was stepping into reality. And his small gasp filled the silence immediately, his heart swelling, and his eyes widening from the surprise that couldn't quite be processed all at once.
It was a simple room, like all the others they had stayed in but this one had one king sized bed, a small kitchen area and a table with two chairs. But from the doorway, right in front of his shoes to the table, covered in a blue and green patterned cloth, rose petals were scattered abundantly on the polished brown floor. And in the midst of the petals were little squares of paper at intervals.
Cas, with his trembling fingers pressed to his lips, his chest swelling from love, took tentative steps through the romantic setting and he stooped to pluck up the first note. His hands were trembling. He was on the verge of losing his composure.
Scribbled on the paper in Dean's handwriting was:
No, I'm not mad. Nothing is wrong between us. Want to know why I'm so quiet?
Smiling, Cas bit his lips, and he went towards the next note, realizing that the flower petals were fresh and scented and the entire room smelled like the Heaven in his heart. Every step felt like a small bomb exploding in his mind. In his chest. Because he couldn't remain calm at all. Not when Dean had obviously gone out of his way to create all of this.
I'm nervous…as hell right now, still standing by my car. Hoping I'm doing this the right way…
Doing what the right way? Cas was losing his mind. He was collecting the notes and tucking them into the pocket of his black leather jacket as if they were the most precious jewels. The third note wasn't so far away, and glancing at the table, he felt tears burn his eyes when the bottle of red wine and two glasses decorated the surface. And for the first time since they had been together, Dean had finally decided to go all mushy and vintage and sensually romantic on him.
Cas, it's almost eleven years since we first met. And I'm eleven times more in love with you…
The last note was just an inch away from the foot of the chair by the table. And he didn't quite notice the soft footstep behind him as he stooped to pick it up. Cas was so overwhelmed by the emotions swirling inside his heart and his mind that he wasn't aware of anything else. And when he read the final note, perhaps his entire world seemed to tilt on its axis.
Turn around, Cas.
Those three simple words held so much power over him, the angel felt as if his heart was ignited by a million bursts of fireworks.. He was consumed by so much anxiety all of a sudden, his hands were shaking. His knees were weak and his head was spinning because he could suddenly feel Dean behind him. And because his senses had been tampered with and now awakened, the other man's presence hit him like a freight train. But for a few seconds, he just weakly rose up, and stood there, his chest heaving, his lips parted and Cas couldn't quite fathom the outcome of what was happening to him.
His mind was trying to convince him that this was the most romantic thing Dean had ever done. That would be followed by glasses of wine and a beautiful conversation. But when he turned around and found the hunter on the floor on one knee, he staggered back a step and his hands clamped onto his mouth, barely suppressing the gasp that escaped from within him.
Dean was smiling, and he swallowed hard and from his right hand he produced that same red velvet covered box. "Cas," he said as his voice trembled. Opening the box, he revealed the one thing that seemed to bring tears to the other man's eyes. It was a simple gold band that was beautiful and real.
"Dean," the angel couldn't breathe, realizing that this was the moment he had waited forever on. The moment that he had concocted so many scenarios on how everything would play out. But this…This was beyond what he had ever expected.
"Darling, will you…marry me?" Dean asked as his voice shook. A tear slipped from his right eye and he was smiling. He seemed to be captured in a ball of nervousness and happiness. And nothing could stop him. Nothing at all.
Cas was crying, tears slipping down his face and he just couldn't control his lungs anymore. He was suffocating. His heart was racing so wildly that the feeling was painful and yet so exhilarating. And nodding before he could even produce an answer, the angel released his hands from his trembling lips and he tried to smile.
"Yes," he managed to say in a small whisper. "A million…times…yes. Dean –"
The hunter stood up, trying to gain composure and plucking the ring from the box, he softly collected Cas' left hand. Then with their eyes connected, he found the other man's fourth finger and he slipped the ring on as Cas gazed at him. As Cas melted and he melted with him.
"I love you," Dean whispered back, his lips quivering too. He collected the angel's face between his hands and used his thumbs to wipe the tears away slowly. "For as long as I'm allowed to. I'll love you."
"I love you too," Cas' face contorted from crying and slipping his hands around the hunter's warm waist, he pulled him close and he pressed their lips together.
Their kiss was slow and passionate and so blissful, that both of them moaned into each other's mouths. And then when they pulled away, breathless, someone cleared their throat by the doorway.
It was Sam. With a thoroughly delighted look upon his face, accompanied by Jack who was beaming.
"Just popped in to say congratulations and –"
"Finally!" Jack exclaimed, interrupting the taller Winchester. "Great kiss! Even better than in the movies."
"Congratulations on your engagement," Sam nodded bashfully, approaching his brother and hugging him proudly. And oh how he was so delighted. Dean had no idea how long his brother had awaited this moment. "For years," Sam finally said, pulling away and smiling. "I've been waiting on you two to wake up and realize that you're end game. But no, you had to drag it out so damn long. I guess everything happens in its own time, but damn. Eleven years is a bitch. You," he stretched out his arms and enveloped Cas into a warm hug.
Jack was hugging Dean and he didn't seem to want to let go. "I officially have two dads now. And a very tall brother."
Dean hugged him tighter and didn't want to let go. "You'll always have us, Jack. You'll always be like a son to me."
Sam sighed at Cas. "Told you everything would be alright in the end," he said to the angel. "Sure I've got a brother who can be a real jerk most times. And he was a real pain in the ass before things got better. But he came around. You're the best thing that has ever happened to him. And I'm glad that it's you and no one else."
"Can we stay for wine?" Jack asked innocently afterwards.
"Um, no," Sam said, taking a hold of his arm and tugging him towards the door. "Your two dads need to…talk."
"But we can all talk together," Jack wouldn't give up, holding onto the doorframe and pleading with Cas. "I've never tasted wine before."
"The kind of talk they're going to have…does not include us. And they must not at any time be interrupted. Because they're going to have a very important talk," Sam said quickly. "We'll all talk tomorrow. Have fun…talking," he said to both Cas and Dean with a wink and a wide smile.
"Well that was awkward," Dean said softly, his chest swelling as he turned back to the one person who had changed his life and smiled. "Are you still jittery? Because I'm still shaking. Look at my…hands."
Cas took the hunter's fingers between his and then he proudly displayed the gold band. "Look at my hand, Dean. You've just made me the luckiest man in the entire universe."
Melting from those honest words, the hunter wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Really? I always thought that I'm the lucky one. But hey, I guess we're both lucky."
"Dean, I never…ever expected this, I…" Cas trembled when the other man buried his face into the crook of his shoulder and he could feel Dean's warm breath exciting his pores. "I thought up of a million ways you would propose to me but never like this."
"Did I do well?"
Their eyes met and the gaze that was enacted seemed to hold so much power, it was like nothing they had ever shared.
Cas blinked slowly, "this was exceptional."
"So, let's drink that bottle of wine, get totally wasted and then screw each other's brains out?" The light inside those green eyes were thoroughly mischievous.
"That sounds…wonderful," Cas said smiling widely. "Is it merlot?"
"The one and only," untangling himself from the angel, Dean's footfalls were muffled on the carpet as he went to the table. He poured them both a generous serving of red wine that looked like blood from the yellow light of the lamps. "Here," handing Cas a glass, he held up his with a look of certainty. "To us growing old together. Feels like the beginning to something beautiful."
Cas, after taking a sip and literally feeling the wine warm its way down his throat, nodded and inhaled deeply. "Cheers to that. Now can we skip to the part where we take our clothes off?"
"Can we talk first?" Dean's cheeks turned crimson as he sat at the table and felt completely like he was drowning in love. "Or at least…try to?"
"No."
"Come on, Cas," the hunter pleaded, jerking his chin at the chair on the other side. "There are a few things that I need to tell you. I'm feeling mushy and I'm in love and I think that you'll like what I have to say."
"In that case," lowering himself into a sitting position, Cas nodded, "you may proceed. But just know that I am allowed to interject with physical advances if the need arises."
Blinking at the other man, Dean shook his head, smiled and could literally feel his cheeks and neck growing warmer. "Um, can you stop coming onto me so hard right now?"
"Why?" Cas asked innocently. He sipped his wine, those blue eyes never leaving the hunter's face. "Am I making you uncomfortable, fiancé?"
"Wow," Dean's chest heaved when he felt overcome by the blissfulness of being referred to as such. "You're going to make this so hard for me, huh? To have a conversation with you that involves words and not just our bodies doing the talking. You do remember what happens to me when we get talking on certain…things, right?"
"It gets really…hard…for you to maintain composure –"
"Anywayyy," Dean swallowed and shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "I've been doing some thinking. Like for a while now and I was wondering…I mean, weddings…what are your thoughts…Cas, would you stop looking at me like that?"
"How am I looking at you?" Cas asked incredulously, smiling and obviously entertained.
Dean sighed. "Like you're undressing me. Just give me five minutes. Tops. Then I'm all yours."
Sighing, the angel sat back, folded his arms and nodded. "I apologize. Go on, you were telling me about weddings…"
"What do you think about weddings?" Dean collected his glass and took a sip.
"In what context? Generally, or in regards to us?"
"Us," Dean's throat was aching. He suddenly felt as if he had broached a subject that was too tender to be discussed so soon. And maybe it was too soon. But there were things that they needed to talk about and most of all, he wanted to do things. He wanted to get the ball rolling just in case life threw grenades at them; or Chuck showed up and decided to break the world apart.
Cas, on the other hand, seemed thoroughly contented with the topic, taking small sips of his wine. "Dean, it's fine. There's a look in your eyes that suggest hesitation in us having this discussion. And truthfully," resting his glass upon the table carefully, the angel licked his lips, "I really don't find a problem with us getting married. It's not like I would question spending the rest of my life with you and officiating that…legally. So relax."
Taking a deep breath, Dean nodded. He took the bottle and topped off their glasses. Then, sitting back, he smiled. "Do you like the ring?"
Holding his left hand up, fingers splayed, Cas chuckled lightly. His blue eyes sparkled. "Indeed. I do. How long have you had this ring in your possession?"
The wind rustled leaves outside and the blinds, a pale blue, fluttered lightly. Dean felt so nostalgic all of a sudden. He hugged himself. "My mom gave it to me." His eyes prickled from memories of Mary. "She…um," he swallowed and blinked quickly. "Well, before she died, she had a long talk with me…about you…well, us."
"Really?" Cas' eyes glistened with tears.
"Yeah, and she knew before I did, really. That I was in love with you. She could see it from the first time she met you and we hugged. And ever since then, she couldn't stop…nagging at me to embrace myself and my feelings and I always shut her out. Then one night, it was like she knew she wasn't going to be around long, and she came into the kitchen and gave me this look. Kind of freaked the hell out of me. Especially when she took her ring off and said…'when the time comes and I know it will, when you propose to him, you put this ring on his finger. And you put all of your love into it. Your mind, body and soul. And you love him until you stop breathing'."
Cas' chest heaved. He was staring at Dean, remarkably displaying no sign of a shaky composure.
"She knew, Cas," the hunter said softly. "She said that when dad gave her the ring, he promised that he would always look out for her. He'd always keep her safe. And now I'm making those same promises to you—"
"Dean—" Cas croaked.
"I'm going to love you and protect you. Keep you safe. Remind you each and every day how amazing you are and how lucky I am to have you. And every night before I fall asleep, I'm going to kiss you, and when you're mad at me, because I'll do some crappy things that make you mad…"
Cas laughed softly, shaking his head.
"I'll kiss all the bad things away. All of it," Dean promised as a smile pinched the corner of his eyes. "Here's to us," holding up his glass, he felt nothing fearful inside his chest. But love.
"To us," Cas clinked their glasses softly together and their fingers brushed. Those tiny sparks from their touch travelled through his hands and covered his heart in a soft blanket. And for a long time after they sipped their wines, their eyes lingered on each other until he couldn't control his desires anymore.
Cas rose up and after slowly prying the glass from the hunter's fingers, he laced their fingers together. Then Dean complied, unfolding and feeling overwhelmed, he allowed himself to be led towards the bed with its soft blue sheets. Covered with red rose petals and fluffy pillows. And after they both shrugged off their jackets and pulled off their shirts, Dean reached for Cas' belt and unbuckled it as fast as his fingers would allow. As fast as he worked, his thoughts were flying like darts. And Cas mirrored his actions until both of them were gloriously naked in the soft yellow light of the lamps.
"God, look at you," Dean purred, drinking in every contour on the other man's body. His slight hips. The way his biceps bulged and the veins in his arms traced outlines like rivers where his blood rushed, as red as rubies. "You're so perfect. Every inch of you."
"Right back at you," Cas grinned, closing the distance between them. He took the hunter by his waist and tugged him close until every breath that he took was beautifully contaminated by the soft scent of Irish Spring, and watermelons from Dean's shampoo and a hint of coffee.
And when they kissed, when their lips met, Cas tasted so much more than coffee. He drowned in warmth and a hint of whiskey and wine and merlot never tasted so good like the way it tasted on Dean's lips. Their tongues danced to a tune that was slow and passionate. And whilst his fingers ran pathways through Dean's hair, Cas unearthed a long and needy moan from the other man that was beautiful.
Making love to Dean was like holding the most precious thing in his life, in his arms, and knowing for certain that nothing else mattered. Nothing else could compare to the feel of Dean's taunt muscles in his arms. Or the muscles rippling beneath the soft skin on his back. Or the way his chest heaved uncontrollably when they kissed deeply and Cas touched his nipples. When Cas slipped his hand between the hunter's legs, and took Dean, already hard and hot between his fingers, he felt how their chemistry soared.
He had realized a long time ago that after the first kiss and after he touched Dean where he loved to explore using his mouth, the hunter melted like butter. Dean would hold him tenderly, rocking them slowly like a ship under the most beautiful night sky. Then as they rocked, he would bury his face into Cas' shoulder and he would simply…allow them to savor every inch of their connection. Their chests pressed together. How they fitted so perfectly. And when Dean finally was ready to move things along, Cas complied because he was always patient.
Now, they ended up on the bed, twisting the sheets and after Dean gave Cas a mind-shattering blowjob that drove him to crying out the hunter's name over and over again, they finally went one step further.
It was something that had been playing on Dean's mind from the beginning. Knowing that the fears and the fright had consumed him and because they had been allowed to crack from the pressure and then heal themselves again, nothing about them threatened him anymore.
In fact, he wanted to do anything with Cas. He wanted to explore and chase those feelings. Of reaching the edge and tethering on it, until he couldn't contain himself anymore. So now, when he pawed around in his bag on the floor for the bottle of lube Sam had given him for Christmas, a small smile played on his lips. Because his brother was probably celebrating next door. And just the thought of having the people who mattered to him being so supportive of him and Cas being together, Dean had developed all the confidence he needed.
Skillful wasn't the exact word he would have used to accommodate all of Cas' actions when it came to sex. Truth be told, Cas was a natural. He was gifted and maybe he had grown so familiar with Dean's body, the way he liked to be touched and the way he reacted from those touches, all the knowledge relaxed them both. Because Cas' touches weren't clumsy. His hands were steady as he manned the top, on his knees over Dean. And within those blue eyes were nothing but love and trust.
"Does it hurt?" Dean was trying to override his slight nervousness with humor.
"When I fell from Heaven?" Cas squeezed a small amount of lube onto his fingers and smiled warmly. "Of course it did."
"No," Dean rolled his eyes. "I mean…you know…"
Sighing, the angel pressed his lips together and lowering himself slowly, right hand captured between Dean's thighs, he teased him with a kiss. "Let's just say that you'll be begging for more."
"How—" Dean squeaked when Cas silenced him with a kiss so deep and passionate, his eyes fluttered close and his mind spun.
It was like he was rising into the air, away from the bed and drifting towards a place that was soft and warm and exhilarating. And even though he was conscious of Cas' finger entering him slowly, the entirety of the moment was blissful.
He had no idea why his mind had suddenly dissolved the walls around them. Then whilst they kissed, Dean felt like they were lying on the softest blanket in a field of lush grass that swayed in the wind. He could smell the grass as Cas sucked on his neck and their bodies writhed together. He could even hear the soft waves lapping onto the shore and could smell the salt and yet his eyes remained close because he was drowning in the moment. And when Dean felt Cas finally inch his cock into him, his body opened up in ways he had never imagined it could.
The feeling of connecting with the man he loved in such an intimate way, of feeling all of Cas inside of him eventually was painful but it wasn't so bad. In fact, he liked it in a way that he wasn't ready to admit out loud.
The glorification of feeling that bite of pain. Of feeling something so powerful, made him more alive than before. Made him conscious of his desire linked to a long time need to constantly remind himself that he could feel. That he could run a knife across his skin and draw blood and he could convince himself that he was in control of himself. And now as Cas stretched and thrust into him slowly, he gave over that control to the man who owned his heart.
"Faster," Dean's green eyes were suddenly on fire. He grabbed Cas' ass and pulled him down until the other man's cock was fully inside of him. Gasping, and wrapping his legs around the angel, he nodded. "Fuck me until I'm hoarse from calling out your name, Cas."
He didn't have to ask twice. Cas was breathless. It was obvious that he had been waiting so long to finally have Dean like that.
To make love to Dean until both of them soaked the sheets and beads of sweat ran down his back whilst he kept thrusting and panting. Cas unearthed sounds from Dean he had never heard before when they made love to each other. Sounds that were contained in long, pleading moans until Dean was squirming under him, arching his back and biting his lips. And his fingernails dug into Cas' back whilst he felt himself ignite inside. Whilst he not only tethered on the edge but began to lose his mind.
It was like nothing Dean had ever felt. The pain, and pleasure intermingled together, the way Cas kept going and kept finding the right spot inside of him to run his throat dry from gasping. Eventually, Dean lost himself somewhere that seemed to stop time. His entire body was consumed inside a net of new sensations that rippled through him from his spinning mind to his pointed toes and everywhere in between. And sure, Cas had given him the best blowjobs before, but something inside of him was for the first time awakened and he wasn't just on fire, he was so much alive.
"Come for me," Cas breathed through his lips and into Dean's parted ones. Those green eyes were wide and ignited. "Dean," his gravelly voice cracked a little. "I'm so…close."
When Cas came inside of him, buried deep into his ass, and convulsing in his arms, Dean followed seconds after. But it wasn't like any other orgasm.
This time, he lost his freaking mind as waves of pleasure rippled through his veins and had him writhing under Cas who was groaning into Dean's shoulder. Both of them tried to bury their hoarse screams into each other's sweat soaked skin but it was too much.
It reached a point where the hunter was so breathless and so weak, and he still kept releasing himself between them, that Cas held onto him and wouldn't let go. And whilst their lungs were emptied and burned from an absence of air, Dean's eyes flew open and he stared at the ceiling.
"Cas," he whispered, his chest heaving uncontrollably, hugging the angel in his arms.
"Dean," the other man said into the hunter's shoulder, his teeth grazing soft skin.
For a long time after, whilst they tried to catch their breath, neither of them said a word. The sky burst outside and the rains came down, thundering onto the roof. The blinds flapped wildly and the bright full moon suddenly looked like a white smudge through the haze of the rain. And still they remained as they were.
Still Dean savored the feel of Cas still inside of him. Of knowing that when they were connected in such an intimate way, it was reassuring to him, knowing that he could be so close to someone. That he could have someone who loved him without limits.
When they finally ended up pulling apart, Dean used the sheet to clean them up and balling it into a sweat soaked heap, he tossed it off the bed. They were too weak to even take a shower. He barely managed to reach for the bottle of water by his bedside to wet his parched throat. And then they simply lay there in each other's arms, remembering what they had shared in one night. Remembering how the journey had been long and painful but deserving and beautiful and now…
Now Dean felt like he could be anywhere in the world and once he had Cas in his arms, he felt like he was home.
And Cas…
Dean kissed him like he had promised. He kissed him long and deep until Cas softened in his arms. And then…
Cas drifted into a deep sleep. Something that was completely out of sorts for an angel such as himself. But maybe he didn't have to fall and lose his wings to become human. Maybe loving Dean was all he needed to become human. And as the hunter watched Cas sleep in his arms, he smiled because he didn't want Cas to lose his wings. Not ever. He had fallen in love with Cas most of all because he was celestial. Because he was beautiful and magnificent. Because when his eyes glowed, he looked so damn sexy and his wings…
Dean felt those wings wrap around him suddenly and because the feel of those soft feathers blocked the cold bite of the wind away, he fell asleep in seconds.
xxx
Did you enjoy the journey? Stay tuned for the epilogue. In the mean time, tell me what you loved the most about this fic.
