Chapter Two

Getting Down to Buissness

It had been a month since the Wyvern Hunt, and we were finally back in Kirkwall. I was immediately bombarded by several things upon getting to my home…

First, Cullen was sitting in front of my door, looking miserable; second, Alistair had sent me a gift that had arrived in my time away.

Cullen looked up at my approach, his eyes tired… had he not been sleeping? I worried about that… I knew he had nightmares, he had told me himself, but I had already known…

"Cullen…?" he stood and looked at me. "Ara…" his voice was hoarse, like he'd been crying or screaming, "Ara, please… tell me what I did wrong; let me try to fix it…"

"Oh, Cullen; it was never you. It was always my fault. You believed a lie because of me; our relationship… I love you so much, Cullen, but I couldn't allow us to be together until I could tell you the truth. Unfortunately, I know you won't want me at all once you know…" I could hear the quiver in my voice as a tear tracked down my face.

He looked so lost, as he ran his hand through his short curly hair; it used to be wavy, but had gotten worse upon moving to a city so close to the water. His golden eyes looked so haunted, as he looked down at me. I was only 5'3 compared to his 6'2… almost a whole foot separated us, but I actually kind of liked that. "What could you possibly say that you believe would have me not love you?"

I flinched; he'd never told me he loved me… no doubt about it, now; it was time to reveal myself. I pulled out my Permit – the one Leliana had just signed – and handed it to him. He looked confused as he opened it.

"This is… a Mage permit… but Ser Karras… wait. This is signed by the Left Hand of the Divine on Most Holies authority… the Divine knows you have magic?"

"I'm sorry Cullen. Yes, I have Magic. I've already set word to resign my post as Chancellor but apparently they had decided on a new Title for me anyway. I'm the 'Hero of Denerim'… not sure how they came up with that one. I… Circles don't exist where I'm from; the Magic is different anyway, Goddess knows why. I'm immune to the abilities that Templars have, and I don't actually know how."

"When… when did Irving and Greagoir know?"

"Irving learned when he went to Redcliff during the Blight; Aedan was angry with me for sleeping with Alistair and outed me… I was the one to save Connor, not Wynne. Greagoir didn't know until after the Blight when Alistair asked for that Permit. As you can see from the words on the Permit, I've been the source of some… experiments due to my unique magic. I'm incapable of preforming any blood magic, not that I would ever want to…"

"You do know you were supposed to turn this in upon your arrival to Kirkwall right?"

"No; no one ever told me that… it's a permit, Cullen; where I'm from those are kept in the possession of the one they permit to do the thing… how else were they supposed to prove themselves?"

"That's… a fair point, I will admit. They should have called them something else… but regardless… how did you allow me to court you for 2 and a half years without revealing your magic?" he was angry now… good, I suppose.

"I guess… in times of peace, I don't really need my magic; I hardly use it then."

"I… I have to report to the Knight-Commander about this. But I have one last question; if you didn't know that I didn't know… why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't rely too heavily on my Magics, Cullen." He flinched as I said his name. "Forgive me, but… given the circumstances, it' probably not wise for you to be calling me by name anymore," he looked anywhere but at me.

"I thought so… well… I do love you; I think I always have… Maybe one day, I'll tell you just how much. I'm sorry, Knight-Captain," I reached for my door when I was suddenly grabbed by the arm.

I was surprised as he pressed his lips fiercely to mine, backing me against the door. I felt tears fall from my eyes as my hands went up to his chest. I softly pushed him away, "Don't… I know how you feel about magic, Ser. I… my heart can't take this. I'm not strong enough to do this. Either you want me, or you don't… I…" I couldn't help the sob as I reached behind me, opening the door to my home and fleeing. As I closed the door I heard his hand hit against it, "Ara!" I pressed a hand to my mouth to keep my sobs contained.

I heard him curse before, "You have to come to the Gallows to present your Permit…" I tasted the lie in his words, and that confused me. I knew I still contained my Empathy, but why would he lie about that?

I spoke, "Why do you lie, Ser?"

"Dammit! I want a chance to talk with you… please, Ara," he begged and I relented. I heard his pain; I felt it and wanted nothing more than to comfort him.


We had managed to gather Fenris, Varric and Hawke along the way. They saw who I was with and just… changed course to come with us. Due to this, we didn't actually get a chance to talk… the Irony.

"What is going on, Knight-Captain?" Meredith asked as we entered the Gallows.

"Knight-Commander, I have recently learned of a Mage in the city. But she has a Permit."

"And you brought these people, why?"

"I'm the Magic user…" I spoke, hearing gasps from all the Templars and mages in the courtyard.

"That isn't possible, I tested you myself!" Ser Karras shouted. I moved to stand alone, "I know. But… I've been immune to Templar abilities for a long time."

Meredith was gathering power, that's why I'd moved away from Hawke. She used her ability and I just… looked away.

"Prove this is not some trick!"

Cullen handed her the paper, but she didn't even glance at it as she snarled at me.

I nodded as my mind raced. I chose to sing while instruments played around me… and a lightshow! That would both showcase the unique nature of my magic and give me a chance to practice.

I chose one that I had taught to Hawke on the way home from Chateau Haine; Señorita by Shawn Mendez and Camila Cabello. The music started and Hawke laughed and came up to me, pulling me into a dance. Cullen gave Hawke a glare. The original purpose for teaching him this song was actually for my debut at the Hanged Man… I had been hired for 3 songs, one night a week… getting a job was the only way I could convince Alistair to stop sending me so much money. I mean… honestly, who really needs 100 gold a year? I now had a fucking treasury since my expenses were only a fourth of that. So 75 left over times 3 years, not to mention the left over extra 70 from my first year… AND what I'd earned from the Deep Roads (300 to each Hawke, Varric and I, splitting the other 100 between the 'non-investors' that were trapped in the Deeps with us) I had a warded vault in my room with almost 600 Sovereigns. I was the second richest woman in Kirkwall, not that anyone knew it. I kept 5 Sovereigns, 200 Silvers, and 100 coppers in a Void Bag with me at all times, and since a Void Bag always looked empty, pick-pockets never bothered. At least I always had exact amounts.

I love it when you call me señorita

I wish I could pretend I didn't need ya

But every touch is ooh la, la, la

It's true, la, la, la

Ooh, I should be running

Ooh, you keep me coming for you

The area around the Courtyard darkened and the ground rose beneath us, we danced in a provocative manner. He rolled his hips against mine, much to Fenris' amusement – if the look he gave us was anything to go by. Cullens face darkened but he didn't look away.

As we moved, the ground rose to meet us, and the areas we left returned to their normal positions.

At the part:

Sapphire moonlight

We danced for hours in the sand

Tequila sunrise

Her body fit right in my hands, la, la, la

The spotlight on us turned blue, and Hawke twirled me.

When the song ended, I set things back to rights.

"This… shouldn't be possible. In any case, you will be staying…"

Cullen cut Meredith off, "Commander, her Permit is signed by the Left Hand of the Divine. No way can we keep her against her will." There were gasps around the courtyard as she opened the paper in her hand and snarled when she read it aloud; "It says, 'by permission of Her Most Holy, Divine Justinia V, the holder of this Permit of Magics is given the Most Holies Blessing. May this Mage walk in the Makers Light; Sister Leliana Nightingale, Left Hand of the Divine', how did you manage this, Mage?" she spat.

"Better connections and a great sense of humor?" I asked with a shrug.

She growled and Fenris stepped between us. "I believe we are done here?"

"I'll be stationing two Templars on you!"

"Not without her permission, you won't!" Hawke shouted back, "She has the right to refuse, having the Divines backing!"

I shrugged. "I have nothing to hide, Hawke. I'll set up the second dining room as a mini-barracks. You can rotate who stays there. I don't care. As you can see by the Permit, I am incapable of Blood Magic; my blood is actually being used as an experiment, so…"

"You're enabling Blood Magic?!"

"No, I'm enabling Science. I don't approve of Blood Magic…" true but I didn't actually know everything Avernus was doing… for all I knew he was using beakers and test tubes or he was twirling my blood in globes around his study singing show tunes.

"Cullen, I want you to supervise those that watch her… and I want you there personally. Move your office if you must. I still want you here 3 days a week, but otherwise…"

"Yes, Commander…" Cullen gave her a stone face.

"I'll take care of setting you up an office, Cull… I mean, Knight-Captain. Just worry about bringing papers and such that you will need. How many bunks should I add, other than for you?"

"Er… no more than 4 beds?" I nodded. I could just convert the second dining room into a sectioned off barracks… I expected more than four. "Well, even if they're rotating, have each of them bring clothes and such; I'll have Armoires in place for them so that they don't have to worry about packing every few days. I will also section off space in your office to make it your room."

Meredith was looking at me like I was crazy so I turned to her, "Is there something wrong with me treating your people like… people, Knight-Commander?"

"I did not expect someone who has avoided us for the past 3 years while being under our noses to be so… reasonable."

I chuckled. "There is no Chantry, no Circle and no Templars where I come from. Magic is also different there, almost non-existent; most don't believe in it. I was raised to respect all walks of life, to be kind and companionate. You may believe me to be horrible, but I assure you, I'm not."

"Where are these lands?"

"You can't find them on any map of Thedas. Now, if you will excuse me, I have been traveling for the last month and would like to get some rest. You know where to find me." I turned on my heel and began my journey back home.


True to my word, I'd converted the second dining room into a 4 section barracks, knocking down a wall to add a small Kitchen and a Privy on opposing sides of the room… I'm sure they'd love the Magic 'privy'. It was an Earth style bathroom; shower, toilet and sink. Toilet was like the one in my Magic housing that made waste… disappear. Cullen basically had a small apartment on the first floor, next door to the 'barracks'.

Cullens' space had a bedroom area, an office area, a bathroom of his own and a snack cabinet.

The package I'd received in my time away was a birthday gift from Alistair; Anders had been the one collecting my mail and such to put in my house while I was away, thankfully. The gift was another charm for my bracelet; a Triple Goddess symbol… I had described it to him once. This had a moonstone for the full moon and opals shaped for the two crescents on either side.

When 5 Templars appeared at the door later that evening, I was exhausted. I gave a sleepy shrug when Cullen noticed my state of exhaustion and asked. I showed the 4 Templars to the Barracks before showing Cullen his room.

"You didn't have to do… all this. I doubt my recruits will ever want to leave with how much better your barracks are compared to the ones at the Gallows," he muttered as he looked around his room. I swayed and he caught me.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm… just so… tired. Too much magic use… not enough… sleep or… foo," I yawned against him and felt my body slump. I was still awake, but my eyes fluttered closed as my body shut down.

"Ara?! Maker's breath, she wore herself out for us," he groaned when one of his recruits rushed in at Cullens shout. "Knight-Captain, I know I shouldn't be sayin' this, but… she's a real treasure, for a mage. Making sure we was comfortable must be awkward for her, never being in a circle an all… I feel I should thank you for choosing me for this assignment, Ser."

I felt Cullen lift me before setting me in… his bed? He hadn't moved far enough for it to mine – that was on the second floor and he knew it – he hadn't moved more than a few steps.

"Dismissed, Ser Axel…" Axel was an Anderfels name… but before Cullen could say more, there was a deep bark as my Mabari, Revas, came bounding into the room.

"Hello there, Revas; come to see your mistress?" Cullen asked. There was a whimper and a thud as Cullens voice went, "Ooof!" and he laughed.

"I take it you missed me then?" there was a responding bark and Ser Axel, who had yet to leave, hesitated before saying, "You… know her dog, Ser?"

"Before I knew she had magic, I was courting her. She broke it off when she found I didn't know. She only just explained that this morning, however. Told me she couldn't allow me to court her when our relationship was based in lies…" I heard Revas whimper and felt him nudge me, before he barked and took off. Cullen shouted and followed him.

I don't know how long I lay there, unable to wake or descend into sleep, but when they returned, I heard, "Revas, what… she's asleep, she can't eat. Stubborn dog. Fine, but if she hits me, I'm blaming you."

I felt a warm hand cup my cheek, softly pulling down. Cullen fed me a few bits of sausage – it was soft, so I assume that's why my hound chose it; not like I could chew.

After a bit longer, I heard Cullens' worried voice, "She… she is just asleep right?"

A whimper was the only response I heard. "Do you know anyone who could help us, boy?"

Revas barked and rushed off again. Cullen began speaking softly while the hound was gone. He sighed, "Oh, Ara… how I wish I hadn't fallen in love with you. It would make this… so much easier. Now here I am, once more infatuated with my charge… but it's different this time, isn't it? This time, I'm really in love; I know it. My heart wants to jump right into your arms every time I see you, all I want to do… doesn't matter now, though. Unless we get permission from the Divine herself we could never be together. It may not be forbidden, but Meredith would never allow it…"

He stood and walked over to his desk. I wanted to cry. He wasn't supposed to feel this way! I was supposed to be the only one hurting, damnit! He was supposed to hate me, supposed to… move on…

"Ara?! What did you do this time, Templar?" I heard Fenris growl. "Nothing? Wait, what do you mean, this time?"

"She has been crying over you for the last… oh. This room is… did she over-exert herself magically?"

"She said as much… crying over me?"

"I believe she has told you she loves you. And if I'm right, she can hear us now." I heard Cullen mutter an oath. "I really hope not, after all that I just said…"

Fenris walked from the room, returning a bit later with what smelled like soup. As he fed me slowly, I began to regain my strength. "In Tevinter, they use other people's blood for their spells, but when they are forced to use their own mana – it's what she calls their magic force – they will exhaust themselves like this. Slaves must nourish them back to wakefulness or suffer if they wait for the Magister to recover on their own. It usually only happens like this when they have been in battle… very few don't use blood during those times, but they do exist. The lack of Food and proper sleep will drain them."

My eyes shot open and I looked at Fenris with a soft groan.

I muttered an apology, "I… should have taken a dinner break… I will… I'll leave you to your work…"

"Wait! Did you hear…?" I nodded. "I… I meant it, Ara. I should care that you're a Mage, but… Void take me, all I want to do is protect you…"

I gave him a soft smile. "I wish I could believe that, Love; but let's face it… if it came down to it, and you were given orders… you'd kill me in a rite of Annulment, wouldn't you?"

"I… well… it'd be… you aren't actually part of the Circle, you know. You wouldn't be subject to one…"

Fenris snorted, "She has her answer, then. Until you can just say 'no' to that question, I think it best you don't pursue anything, Templar. She is unique, and refuses to use her magic on the Unwilling. I hate Magic; despise most mages; and even I would defend Ara against a Templar attempting to kill her."

Cullen flinched and Fenris led me to bed. "I will be… moving in, for the time being. The Mansion doesn't even belong to Denarius, and I've already drank all his wine. I refuse to leave you alone in a house of people sworn to hunt you," I smiled at him, suddenly glad I'd convinced Hawke to allow Anders to live in his basement now. With 5 Templars and Fenris in this house, Anders would get caught way too easily… especially since Cullen was from the same Circle as him.


Another month passed before it was my first day of work at the Hanged Man. As planned, Hawke and I sang Señorita with the choreographed dancing that we had practiced at the Gallows.

The next song, I had chosen for Isabela; The Captains Wife's Lament by Paul and Storm…

The ship sailed into harbor after fifteen months at sea

The captain hit the tavern with his crew of fifty-three

After drinking up their pay, they staggered through the town

But all the inns and public houses turned the sailors down

There was hooting and whistles, though I caught sight of Cullen blushing: he and one other had followed me to work, so it was his own fault! I heard Isabela laughing and holding a Mug aloft. For the final song… I had planned to sing something with a Tavern feel again, but changed my mind at the last second; I started Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max.

Oh, she's sweet but a psycho

A little bit psycho

At night she's screamin'

"I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind"

Oh, she's hot but a psycho

So left but she's right though

At night she's screamin'

"I'm-ma-ma-ma out my mind"

I saw Hawke laughing before he hopped onto my stage once more to pull me into a dance. After, I walked over to the bar and Corff, the Owner and Bartender handed me 3 silvers… Alistair never specified how much I had to make, so I told Corff to pay me as little as he could get away with. Varric was horrified until I told him about my stockpile… then he wanted to help me invest… I was a silent partner of the Hanged Man – only Varric and Corff knew which is why Corff only paid 3 silvers instead of the 50 he wanted to pay me.

"So what is our plan for tomorrow?" I asked, sitting at the table in Varrics room. Cullen was standing near the door, watching me. Anders wasn't here, but Merrill was – she knew better than to rile Cullen up.

"Viscount Dumar has asked me to meet with the Qunari Arishok tomorrow. Apparently he is asking for you and me, Ara. First thing he's asked for in three years, since that compound was apparently a gift for complacency."

I saw Cullen stiffen from the corner of my eye, but it was Fenris who spoke. "As Basalit-an, she must go. We do not know what we are dealing with…" I sighed. "I'm positive someone attempted to steal the Gaatlok formula but only managed to get something non-explosive. The Arishok would have allowed the theft to test our worth as we track the thief. A word of wisdom, Hawke… never lie to the Arishok. I do not care what the circumstances are; just don't lie and don't hide the truth. He will know."

Cullen hissed. "So there is someone out there with a lethal formula because the Arishok wants to test you?!"

"This is the way of the Qun, Cullen. I have proven my worth, but the one who leads my group has not. I have been named a foreigner worthy of respect, but yet I follow another. Hawke must prove his own worth before they decide what to do with him. They are trapped here, because someone stole something important from them and they got shipwrecked in pursuit. The thief calls this city home. If they had found the thing they search for… but it doesn't matter now. Honor demands they make things right, so when Opportunity knocked, they threw the damn door wide open and sat it down for tea," I explained, causing a few snorts at the end. Isabela threw me a grateful look when I didn't outright mention her… she knew I knew.

"Do you… really have to go?"

"Fuck yes I have to go, Cullen. If it makes you antsy, send Axel with me… only because he's the only other one I know the name of and he isn't on duty tonight."

"You never did explain how you received an entourage of Templars, kitten…"

"They have my Permit, Bela… besides, I don't exactly hide my Magic, and it just never seems to come up in casual conversation."

"But how did you get the Captain?" She purred, rubbing herself on me.

"Because I called dibs? I want to take him to bed? I want to be screaming his name at night? Oh right! Because Knight-Commander Meredith ordered it," I snarked and she chuckled in that sexy way she had, her tan fingers 'walking' up my arm.

Cullen was bright red as he coughed. "Must you say things like that? People will think you mean them…"

"I can't lie Cullen. I mean… I can't tell an Untruth. I can lie in bed all day and call it lying but I can't tell you anything I don't mean; you may as well know that now."

He flinched. "Sorry, I mean… Knight-Captain…" I looked away.

"Weren't you two… what did you call it, kitten? Dating?"

"Yeah… when I learned he didn't know I had magic, I broke it off… can we get back to work schedule?"

"What's this I hear about your birthday being last month? The 14th of Guardian, Fenris said…" I flinched at Merrills words as Cullen looked horrified.

"Er… I don't celebrate my birthday, Merrill…"

"Why not? You always give us all such lovely gifts," Merrill was… as oblivious as ever.

"Where I'm from, it was a holiday. One dedicated to love and sex. I was unable to go out and do anything, and no one really remembered until about a week later… I stopped caring about the time I turned twelve. Other than one birthday in Ferelden during the Blight, I haven't celebrated in… let's see I'm 31 now… almost 20 years! Has it really been so long…?"

"I thought you were only 26 now!" Cullen accused.

"I don't know what happened but… when I was torn from my family 4 years ago my age ran back to 22. Goddess takes me, I still look 22."

He looked a bit stunned. "Cull… I mean, Knight-Captain, do you know what my name was before I came to Ferelden? It wasn't Arvaala," I said and Varric perked up. We hadn't had this conversation yet, though I had handed out the gifts from Chateau Haine before I started singing. Hawke had helped Sebastian yesterday after returning home so he was actually here with us.

"You had a different name, Feathers?"

"Abigail, it means Fathers' Joy… not that you'd know it. I was a middle child, so I was a bit… forgotten. Can we please change the subject?"

"Mia talked to me recently…" I perked up. "Oooh, what did she say?!"

"Who's Mia?" Fenris growled. "His sister."

Cullen snorted, "If you listen to her, she's our sister. She's still demanding we get married, or she will do it herself."

"Erm… do what?" I asked, a little fearful as Bela pouted at my lack of attention and shifted over to Merrill. "Marry you. You know she's giving me a time limit? I have until 38 Dragon. I asked her if she knew about your magic… how did my family fail to mention that, that is how you saved them."

"38 Dragon is quite the generous time limit," I teased, leaning into Fenris. "Indeed," the broody elf nodded.

"Who gives a 4 year time limit for marriage?" Sebastian asked. He knew everything the rest of the group knew. When he heard that I had the approval of the Divine he was suddenly very cool with it.

"Mia," Cullen and I said together. "She's hoping that being almost 30 will help me want to settle down. I told her we may not be able to get married due to your magic and she told me she plans to write to the Divine on my behalf… I hope she's joking."

I snorted, "Mia doesn't joke about these things Knight-Captain. I expect Doro… I mean Divine Justinia V will be receiving a strongly worded letter in two moon turns… I'll tell Leliana to intercept it," I sighed.

"Leliana?" Isabela perked up. "Yes, Aedan and Zevs female companion… the one who is sleeping with my brother and you took all three of them to bed. She is Left Hand of the Divine now." I explained as I pulled out a Sending stone that was connected to Aedans.

"Sister?" he asked, worried… I realized this was the first time I called him.

"Brother, I need you to tell your lady love to intercept a letter from one Mia Rutherford to the Divine asking for the Divines blessing on her brothers' marriage… to me."

Aedan burst into laughter. "Who, Cullen? I thought you wanted to marry him… did you not once tell me that if you could only choose one person in all Thedas, it'd be him?" I was bright red.

"Thank you so much for telling him, Aedan. Want to say hi; maybe give him your blessing?!" I groaned as Cullen stared at me. "Hi, Cullen! Can I come to the wedding?"

"Aedan, I broke it off! He didn't know about my Magic at the time. He's a Templar, he can't…"

"But you just said his sister is writing the Divine. I've met the Most Holy, Sis; she told me that from Lelis' stories, she'd love to meet you. I doubt she'd say no."

I sighed. "Aedan… please. I asked him if he'd enact a Right of Annulment on me. He didn't exactly say no." Aedan let out a curse. "Blessing taken back! I know you wouldn't let him kill you, but… that's cold from on who claims to love you! I'll have Leli intercept; Leli!" I heard him call out, alerting me to the fact that she was with him. He told her about my request.

"I'm afraid it is too late, Ara. The Letter arrived last week. I read it myself before giving it to the most holy… she has written back to her and sent me with a letter to you, I figured coming to Aedan was quicker as I did not wish to surprise you that way…"

"Don't tell me… she wants to attend the wedding in 38 Dragon?"

"She wants to preform it herself; for you and Cullen and your other… mates. She is getting things in motion now… I didn't realize you had broken things off. And she has told so many people about it and with such excitement… if you had told me while we were at Chateau Haine…"

"Well… thanks anyway, sweetie. I'll… let you know how it goes closer to time. Either it will be just me and one or two others or it will be 3 others…"

Fenris squeezed me tightly. I cut the connection and sighed. "Bela? I need a bottle of the best hard stuff here… I can't get completely hammered, but I can damn well try…"

Bela squealed and took the gold coin I held out before rushing off to the bar. Cullen avoided talking with me for the rest of the night; I could feel his conflict – he was happy, nervous and struck with grief all at once.

"Wait… the left hand of the Divine was at Chateau Haine and you didn't think to introduce me?" Hawke cried.

"You'd try to sleep with her, Hawke…" he pouted.