"Still working on Ultron?"
Tony swiveled in the chair to face his daughter, and smiled. Even when she had to spend the day in her office instead of the labs, she would still come to check on him every once in a while. She was worried about him. She always was. "You don't need to remind me why it's impossible. I just want to make sure I did everything I could before throwing in the towel."
Ana returned the smile, then pulled a chair to sit down and took his hands into hers. "The thing is, I actually came here to tell you why it is possible."
"What?"
"Dad, I have a boyfriend."
"Look, I don't know what this has to do with Ultron, but if this is another antic of yours…"
"No, this time, it's the real deal. It's… JARVIS. He's in love with me, and—"
"Okay, drop it. It's not funny."
"I'm not joking."
Instinctively, he withdrew his hands. She wasn't messing with him. By that anxious smile on her face, he could see she wasn't. Something had been going on right under his nose, for who knew for how long, and he had had no idea until now.
"JARVIS," she said sharply. "You're being too quiet. It's not fair."
"Yes, JARVIS," Tony growled. "Explain yourself. Fast."
In response, a hologram of JARVIS' mainframe appeared on his left, except a lot more intricate than Tony remembered.
"What the hell?"
"I've been lying to you, sir. This is what I really am."
Tony began hyperventilating. He was angry. Not the way he had been angry with Stane, Loki, or Killian. This was a fit of more immature anger, over a broken promise that had never been explicitly made in the first place. When Ana had come out to him, he had been promised that he would forever be the only man in his daughter's life. Yes, he had told her that she might meet someone who was just like her, but to be honest, he had hoped that would never happen. Selfish? Probably. But no one could ever be good enough for her. Now that he thought about it, not even JARVIS. Especially JARVIS, the program Tony himself had created to be a protective big brother to her.
"Dad?" she asked warily.
He got on his feet, and went to press the intercom button. He didn't think he could do this alone. He needed someone to speak some sense to him before he threw a tantrum he would regret later.
"Pepper? Come to my lab, I need you."
"Tony, what's wrong?"
"I—I don't know… I'm going into a cardiac arrest. Or having an anxiety attack…"
"Sir, your vitals are perfectly normal," JARVIS chimed in.
"YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"Tony? Are you mad at… JARVIS?" Pepper asked in disbelief. Of course, she had no idea what a devious traitor he was…
"Please, just get here."
"Okay, okay... I'll be there in a minute."
Pepper hung up. He looked at Ana, who seemed unimpressed. "Dad, I've seen you have a cardiac arrest and an anxiety attack. You're fine right now."
"No, I'm certainly, 100% not fine! W—when did this even happen?"
"Our relationship? It started two weeks ago," she replied calmly.
He ran a hand on his face, trying to collect his thoughts. There were more important questions he needed to ask, he knew. Like, when had JARVIS become sentient and how? Could he be used to replace the Ultron program? Was it wise to put the AI who was in love with his daughter in charge of global security?
Pepper walked into the lab. "Okay, what's going on with you two?"
"The real question is, what's going on with these two?" he corrected her, pointing at JARVIS and Ana.
"Tony," she said, exasperated. "I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'm really busy, and—"
"They're dating," he blurted out.
Pepper frowned. "What?"
"We're not dating," Ana said. "We're just… together."
Pepper looked around, confused. "I still don't get it… Who's dating who?"
"JARVIS is sentient. He has been, for the past couple of years. It didn't happen in an instant, of course. Evolution takes time. I had no idea until he told me two weeks ago. It took me three days to wrap my head around it, but then, I decided to give it a try. Turns out we're perfectly compatible."
A look of understanding crossed his girlfriend's face, but unlike Tony, she seemed happy for them. Damn, she was going to take Ana's side… "What's this?" she asked, looking at the golden hologram.
"It's a holographic image of my mainframe, Ms. Potts. It might be the closest thing I have to a form."
Tony recalled that Pepper didn't see what he saw when she looked at the mainframe. She was a different kind of genius. "It's much… denser than it was supposed to be," he explained. "That's how I know they're not just pulling a cruel prank on me."
"Dad, please… You know you can trust JARVIS. He's not just some random guy I met at a bar or something."
"Yeah, that's the problem! He was like a son to me. You were supposed to be a Stark, not a Targaryen!"
Her face wrinkled in disgust. "Yikes, Dad!"
"Exactly. Yikes."
"Alright, I'm done here. Let me know when you're in a more reasonable mood, so I can share my happiness with you!"
She was walking away, but Pepper stopped her. "I'm happy for you."
"Thanks, Pep," she said with a sad smile that broke Tony's heart a little. She was happy, and he was ruining it. But he couldn't help himself. He felt betrayed.
"Okay, I didn't see this coming," Pepper went on, "But now that I think about it, you two are… perfect for each other. I'm sure Tony knows that, too. He's just too proud to admit it."
He crossed his arm stubbornly, and had to resist the urge to stamp his foot. That would be too childish, even for his standards. "No, I'm not…"
Ana sighed. "He's all yours."
"Don't worry, I got this."
Ana left the lab, and JARVIS' hologram disappeared. Pepper was now staring at Tony.
"What?" he asked defensively. "Don't tell me you're not freaked out at least a bit!"
"Well, I'm definitely going to need some time to digest it, but there's no need to be a jerk to the poor girl. Didn't you see how happy she was?"
"I did," he admitted reluctantly.
"I should've seen it coming. I mean, she's my daughter, I should be able to tell when there's something different about her. It's been going on for two weeks, and I had no clue!"
"Tony, I don't think we'll ever see them going lovey-dovey on each other. They're both creatures of logic. Stop sulking. Come on, let's call it a day and go to the penthouse." She leaned in to kiss him, but then, paused.
"What's wrong?"
"Is JARVIS watching us? I mean, if he's a… person now, it's kind of weird. You know what I mean?" She was actually blushing. Tony chuckled.
"Tony! I'm serious!"
"Okay, okay… JARVIS, close your eyes."
"Privacy mode engaged, sir. Permanently. But before I go… Ms. Potts, thank you for your support. Both Ana and I appreciate it very much."
…
Tony knew he was a real mess if Pepper resorted to distracting him with sex. Not that he was complaining.
"Feeling better now?" she asked, as they were cuddling in the bed.
He shrugged. "At least I'm not going to have to worry about Ultron anymore."
"Tony, don't… Don't force JARVIS to be a global watchdog, or whatever you have in mind for him. Let it go."
"This is to keep my promise to you, Pep. I'm not going back on an insomniac tinkering binge, I swear. Besides, if JARVIS wants to be an actual person, he's going to need a job like the rest of us."
"He does have a job."
"He's overqualified for it now. He can do more."
"Probably. But don't do this to Ana. How many times did you scare the hell out of her while saving the world? Now you want JARVIS to replace you. That's cruel. I love you, Tony. I love you more than anything else, and that's why I was willing to pay the price of being Iron Man's girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets. But if I had a dad who was also in the same business, that would be a bit too much."
As always, Pepper had made an excellent point. "Alright. Well, if I created one AI, I can surely create another…"
"Or, you can just let it go. Let Ultron go, Tony. We're safe. Aliens aren't coming back."
"But they did come back," he reminded. "Remember what happened in London last week?"
"And Thor took care of them single-handedly. Whatever that was about, it wasn't our concern."
Tony disagreed. In fact, he and Ana couldn't wait to get their hands on the tech recovered from that spaceship, so that they could reverse engineer it. Hopefully a few pieces would be delivered to the tower tomorrow. The benefits of owning Damage Control…
"Perhaps you should discuss this with JARVIS himself instead. What if he doesn't want this job either?" What if he wants to keep being the butler?"
Upon hearing the last word, Tony started to laugh hysterically. The irony was so ridiculous, so cheesy that he couldn't help himself.
"What is it, Tony?"
He still couldn't stop, but Pepper was patiently waiting. At last, when he was able to inhale a deep breath to steady himself, he asked, "You know about Edwin Jarvis, right?"
"Your family's butler, I know."
"Have I ever told you his wife's name?"
Pepper smiled. It was one of her "Tony Stark has a heart" smiles, which actually made him a bit embarrassed. She must have understood. "I knew you named her after someone important to you. Just not who... Does Ana know?"
"I told her while I thought I was going to die of palladium poisoning. After the Expo opening, we went to the cemetery, to pay our respects."
"Perhaps this is not a coincidence. Perhaps you never designed JARVIS to be a son, but a son-in-law from the very start."
"Trust me, this wasn't what I had in mind when I named my daughter after Jarvis' wife, and then based my first natural-language UI on Jarvis himself."
She cocked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
"Pepper, I know sometimes I redefine the meaning of overprotective, but I'm not creepy like that."
"I'm not saying it was a deliberate effort. I'm saying it might be the work of your subconscious. You were trying to build the perfect life for Ana. A fortune she could rely on, a legacy that would make her proud, and a perfect partner to complete the picture. Every parent wants their kid to find happiness. Nothing creepy about that."
"So, I subconsciously created JARVIS to be Ana's boyfriend?"
She shrugged. "God created Eve for Adam…"
"Just to be clear, are you implying that I'm God in this gender-swapped Adam and Eve story?"
"You're a creator, Tony. And Ana is your best creation."
"You do know how to stroke my ego."
Pepper rolled her eyes. "Like your ego ever needs to be stroked…"
Actually, his bruised ego could use some stroking right now. The worst part of having an AI as your son-in-law was that you were no match for him. Tony had always been so sure that intellectually, he could beat anyone. But how could he possibly match wits with an AI? He was probably no longer the smartest guy in the world in the eyes of his little girl.
…
The next day, he decided to suck it up and apologize to Ana. He woke up much later than the girls, who worked a lot harder than he did, so they were in their respective offices by the time Tony completed his morning routine. He set off to Ana's office.
"Sir, are you going to visit Ana?" JARVIS asked when he called for the elevator.
"Yes."
There was a brief silence, than JARVIS said, "She will see you, sir."
"Stop bossing me around, JARVIS. I'm still her dad. And your boss."
"Of course you are, sir."
JARVIS was just being his usual sassy self, but every word that came out of his mouth—well, he didn't really have a mouth, but whatever—irritated Tony when he remembered that he was talking to his daughter's boyfriend. Would he ever get used to this?
He knocked on the office door.
"Come in."
He entered, but Ana wasn't even looking at him. She was typing away furiously at the computer. For a moment, he felt like he was in the presence of an angry Pepper. The sharp business suit, hair tied up in a tight bun, the serious look on her face… Damn, she really looked up to Pepper. He decided to cut to the chase.
"Kid, I'm sorry."
The typing didn't stop. "For making me feel like a weirdo?"
"Yeah."
"Noted."
She hadn't told him he could sit, but he pulled a chair to sit down and leaned against the desk. "So, Pepper has a theory… She thinks I created JARVIS for you, subconsciously, like God created Eve for Adam."
She stopped, and turned in the chair to finally face him. "Well, JARVIS does worship you…"
He looked at her, taken aback. "Really?"
"You're his creator. Serving you is how he worships."
"Wow… I never thought he saw me that way."
"That's because you take him for granted. You were a jerk to us yesterday, Dad. And he was angry with you. He could've turned your life into hell if he'd wanted to. In a matter of milliseconds. But he didn't, and I'm not the only thing that stopped him from doing so."
"Fair point… JARVIS, I owe you an apology, too, buddy."
"Apology accepted," JARVIS said. "By the way, a package from Damage Control has just arrived."
"You heard him," Tony told Ana. "Come on, let's do some unboxing."
She stood up. "Okay. Let's go."
The package was already in his lab by the time they got there. It was smaller than he had expected it to be. She shed her blazer jacket and put on a lab coat. She looked more like his baby girl in the latter.
"What?" Ana asked. He must have been staring at her.
"Nothing… I just wish you didn't have to grow up."
She rolled her eyes. "So, I talked to Sigyn last night, and she told me what happened in London. Remember those gravitational anomalies we'd detected? They were the sign of the Convergence, something about the Nine Realms aligning… I don't know, I'll just send Dr. Selvig an e-mail for the scientific details. Anyway, it only happens in every 5000 years, and the Dark Elves returned for—"
"Wait, Dark Elves? Seriously?"
"Yep. But the funny thing is, they were supposed to be extinct. Odin had been telling everyone that his dad killed them all during the previous Convergence. Of course, that turned out to be a lie. The surviving Elves were just waiting for the next Convergence."
"Why?"
"To plunge the universe into darkness or some intense shit like that."
"How they were going to do it?"
"I don't know. Sigyn refuses to tell me. But here's where things get interesting: Our satellites picked up familiar readings during the attack."
"Familiar to what?"
"The Tesseract and the Scepter."
"Could it be Loki again?"
"No, the Dark Elves killed him. Sigyn was a wreck. But she answered my questions patiently, except the question about the source of that darkness. My theory is, there was a third object in London, and whatever it is, it has something in common with the Tesseract and the Scepter. Either Thor took it back to Asgard, or SHIELD confiscated it."
"I'll ask around."
"Thanks."
"Why are you thanking me, kid? I know you're doing all these for me."
"True… But I want to be nice to you. I love you, Dad. You have no reason to be jealous. I'll have only one father, and that's you. As for JARVIS… It just feels right, you know. Natural. We weren't fishing in the dating pool, putting on false faces to appear more likable, or anything like that… It only happened because we already had a very deep emotional connection. No compromises, no relationship drama. Just the two of us being ourselves and creating an equilibrium. He has his own separate place in my heart, and he's irreplaceable, too. I wouldn't be in a relationship with anybody just for the sake of being in a relationship."
He now understood it better. Was it unique? Absolutely. But then, his daughter deserved nothing less than unique. "Okay," he said softly. "Sorry for raining on your parade earlier."
"Don't worry too much about it. Your jealousy was actually a bit of a validation for us. I mean, you wouldn't have made so much fuss if you hadn't taken us seriously." She smiled at him, and he knew all was well between them. Nothing was going to change. Still, a father had to be sure...
"Right. And JARVIS…"
"Sir?"
"If you ever break my daughter's heart, I'll upload you into a Tamagotchi, and neglect you to death."
"That would be a fitting punishment, indeed," JARVIS agreed.
Ana was chuckling at first, but suddenly, she became serious. "So, as you can see, there's hope for Ultron, after all."
Right, Ultron… He became serious, too, after being reminded of Ultron. "Yeah, I was actually going to ask JARVIS about that. J, how would you like a promotion?"
"You want me to become Ultron, sir?" He didn't sound very happy about it.
"Why the metaphorical long face? It's not like you're going to start neglecting your girlfriend because you're busy. Come on, you're a program! You can multifunction!"
"It's not a matter of occupation, sir."
"What is it, then?"
"When you first created me, my main function was to serve you, and in your absence, be it temporary or permanent, Ana. She is my ultimate purpose, which constitutes my very essence. In order for me to effectively run the Ultron program, you have to change my primary function to global security. If you do that, I'll no longer be… me."
"Oh." From now on, Tony had to remember that JARVIS was no longer a program whose codes he could just temper with. He was a sentient being, and his integrity had to be respected.
"But we can analyze JARVIS' evolution process to find a way to create Ultron," Ana suggested. "I mean, we can't rush evolution, but—"
"Ana, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Dr. Banner's approaching," JARVIS warned her hastily.
This confounded Tony. "We're not telling him?"
"We're not telling anybody, Dad. Please."
"Got it." He had to respect that, too.
Bruce entered. "Hey, guys… What are you up to today?"
"Alien scraps," Tony said cheerfully. "Remember that big-ass spaceship in London?"
"The one Thor took care of? Oh, yeah…"
"Come on in. Join the party."
