Dearest Readers,

Thanks (again) for all of your support! I wouldn't be able to do this without you! Well, I probably could, but it would suck and I wouldn't really want to get through the tough writers blocks like I do now. However, back to the story! This part is only seeing around 10 chapters left, and then there will be a break before the next part starts up again so I can focus on other works.

Let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or are bored and just want to chat.

Ally Layne.

Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 36: All the King's Horses

After waking up, Elrond was quick to get me out of the healing halls. I had a feeling he was doing his best to keep me from freaking out at the healers who kept coming by, but that would be implying that he thought I was a nuisance and we all know that Elrond loves me to pieces.

He placed me into the custody of Glorfindel because apparently I wasn't well enough to be let out on my own or whatever. It probably could be because the last time I was left alone I was attacked, but with these elves, it would be years if I could get something like that out of them.

Glorfindel took me right to my rooms and told me to get dressed for riding before leaving me in the loving company of Gerda.

As he walked away, I was well aware that I could have been drooling at the sight of his nice, supple glutes, and wore that drool without shame.

"I suppose the two of you have made up?" Gerda asked, grabbing my riding clothes from the wardrobe swiftly.

I raised an eyebrow at her tone. "What's wrong?"

Gerda let out a sigh and laid out a new vest and tunic for me to wear. The tunic was maroon and felt like silk at the touch, where the vest was leathery and rugged- perfect to store some weapons amidst if needed. "He continues to hurt you, Persephone, and as your friend, it bothers me that you keep going back to him every time he apologizes."

"Have you and Alma been talking about me again?"

"We are not the only ones who are concerned, Persephone."

I let out a sigh and took a seat on the edge of my bed. Looking down at my hands, I started, "Just because you guys are seeing one thing doesn't mean something else entirely different isn't happening at the same time."

She sat at my side. "What do you mean?"

"I have not been as kind to him as what you all are seeing," I admitted. "Goldilocks, as honorable and kind as he really is, has been placed into hard positions because of things I have said and done. And yes, I've been a little childish and selfish, but I'm only human. I need to stop thinking I'm more than what I actually am, and not expect to be perfect."

Gerda let out a breath, reaching out a hand to pat my arm comfortingly. "For what it is worth, Persephone, I do believe the two of you would be a handsome couple."

I felt a blush come over my cheeks.

"Also, you should not think any lesser of yourself. You are indeed human, albeit partially, and you should be willing to make mistakes as none of us are perfect here."

I looked over at Gerda, who was smiling softly with eyes slightly glazed over while looking at something I would never be able to see. "You are truly a wise elleth, Gerds."

She giggled, and looked back at me conspiratorially, "If anyone ever found out I would be forced to deal with the likes of Lord Macalster and Lady Heliel far too much for my liking."

I laughed. "I'll make sure to keep your wisdom to myself."

A strand of her dark hair fell from her bun and in front of her eyes. She let out a breath to push the strand back with her huff of air, and I grinned at the sight. Humility and its finest.

"Well, I suppose I should get dressed and see what Goldilocks has planned, hm?"

Gerda stood and straightened out her skirts while still wearing her charming smile. "As you wish, mellon nin."

I let her fuss over me for a while and allowed her to do up the back of my vest over the tunic, which still felt like the purest silk over my skin. I sat down at the vanity and tied on my riding boots while she did my hair, pulling it back into a charming french braid.

"I do hope you have a wonderful time today," Gerda told me as we walked to the stables. "However, I am glad you allowed me to voice my concerns earlier. It makes me pleased to know you are giving this… relationship with Lord Glorfindel more thought than just a fleeting fancy."

I let out a low groan. "Please never use those words together like that ever again."

"Fleeing fancy?"

Another groan sounded from my lips, much to Gerda's amusement if the sound of her laughter told me anything.

"Are you feeling well, Nemir?"

We immediately stopped in front of the stables just as Goldilocks was coming out with both Asfoloth and Bud. He had just heard the exaggerating groans, and from the smirk on his face I could tell he was going to give me a hard time about it.

"I was just thinking about having to see you again, Lord Glorfindel," I told him.

Gerda had to hold a hand to her mouth to smother the giggles.

"If you did not want to go on a date with me, you just had to say so." He wore a sultry grin, which was starting to turn into a full-blown smolder.

"Whatever, you know you would have just stolen me off anyway," I told him, and turned my head to the side to address Gerda, "I think he has some sort of problem that keeps him from staying away from me."

His eyebrows skyrocketed. "If I have a problem, then you must have a complete travesty with how often you seem to find trouble, Nemir."

I grinned. "I think that means you must qualify as trouble, Goldilocks."

The Golden Warrior had walked to stand directly in front of me, after handing off our horses to Gerda's brother, Geren.

His eyes seemed to darken slightly as they took me in, and I felt my breathing hitch as I looked down to see that only inches separated us. He smelled like horsehair and musk, with a faint scent of mint.

I had to keep myself from either climbing him like a tree (which I definitely thought about) or fanning myself from the sudden heatwave that had taken over me. Both would be embarrassing, but only one would most likely be worth it.

"I think it is time we set off, do you not think so?"

I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "It would be my pleasure."

Gerda had moved from my side to go engage in a quiet conversation with her brother. I silently thanked her for that tactfulness.

I gave Gerda my goodbyes as Glorfindel took the horses back from Geren, and I hopped on the back of Bud without the same gracefulness as my ellon companion. I struggled a bit while settling myself into the saddle, and cursed the soul-sucking darkness not for the first time today.

If I hadn't just had most of my fea or soul or whatever drained from my body, I definitely would have climbed that elf like a tree. Screw fanning myself, I would have gone all the way and stolen home base if I felt good enough.

"Do you feel well, Milady?"

Even Bud must've noticed my inability to properly mount him. "I'm just fine, Bud. Don't worry about me."

Glorfindel looked between my black stallion and me in slight confusion before a wave of understanding took its place.

"You do not seem to be well, so of course I will worry. You are my companion, and if it were I who did not feel well I know you would worry over me."

Hades, who knew Bud would be such a worry-wart?

"Bud, I'm fine. I'll most likely feel better after a ride, anyway, so giddyup!"

Bud let out a snort of contempt, while Glorfindel let out a snort while trying to hold back his laughter.

"Did you just tell the poor horse to giddy-up?"

I gave Glorfindel the best annoyed side-eye I could muster. "Yes. Do you happen to have a problem with that?"

He let out another snort of laughter as we started our horses out of Imladris. "No, of course not. But it looks like your horse has a problem with it."

I patted Bud's neck happily. "He'll get over it, won't you, Bud?"

"I would hold your breath, Milady."

"If you try to buck me off Bud, so help me gods I will drown your poor soul then bring you back to life and do it again."

"I doubt it."

"Don't test me."

Goldilocks looked between the two of us again, his eyes wide in child-like awe. "It will never cease to amaze me that you can speak to the horses."

I laughed. "You haven't even seen my other party tricks, yet!"

"Party tricks?"

I grinned at him wickedly. "You'll just have to find out."

"I will also never get over how oddly you speak, it seems."

"Must be why you can't seem to get enough of me."

He raised a brow and threw me one of his "oh, really?" looks. "That still does not seem to explain why you are so caught up in finding trouble, Lady Persephone."

I scowled, just as he nudged Asfoloth to take off in a run ahead of me. What a show-off.

After following him through the woods, I immediately caught up to where he was standing to the side of Asfoloth, already taking out some things in one of his packs.

"We're in the same spot as last time," I dumbly stated, taking in the riverside once more. The smell of water and the brisk breeze that came from the waterfall immediately sent my body into a calm state, which is probably why he thought to bring me here.

"I had a feeling you liked it well enough," he told me, moving to take my own pack off of Bud. "I hope you don't mind some sandwiches for lunch."

I smiled. "That sounds great."

A toothy grin overtook his face, and I felt my knees turn into jelly. But before I could say something to make a fool out of myself, he handed me a folded blanket from his pack. "If you would, can you spread out this blanket for us to sit on?"

I nodded eagerly, thankful for something to do instead of stand there like a nitwit while he gathered everything for our little date.

After spreading the fabric out on the ground, I parked myself on the right side happily. I saw that Bud had been let off by Glorfindel in the long amount of time I had given myself to complete my task, and smiled at seeing my four-legged friend munching on some grass down the riverside.

"I have noticed the water calms you."

I jolted slightly at the melodious voice that came from behind me and turned to see Glorfindel walk up and sit down next to me with the gracefulness that I had long-since characterized him with.

"You're not wrong."

He sat his pack down on the ground next to him and handed me a water canteen, which I took gratefully. "I do not think this world has seen one with the likes of you, or with the raw power you possess. You are quite different from us elves."

I lowered the canteen from my lips slowly, taking in the peaceful face he wore while looking out to the soothing river. "Is that such a bad thing?"

He turned to look at me with hidden depths in his bright eyes and took the canteen from my hands as I offered it back to him. "That depends on who you ask. However, to me, it has never felt so right to sit next to another person in ages."

Glorfindel raised the canteen to his lips while watching me with a pinning gaze.

So hot.

"Does that include Mirwen?"

He coughed, immediately forming the perfect spit-take moment as his eyes seemed to bug out in surprise. "What- where did that come from?"

Instead of choosing to answer right away, I dropped my hands back behind me and leaned back to enjoy the sun's rays with closed eyes. "You did just kiss her the other day, you realize."

A groan sounded out from beside me. "I thought we had moved past this."

I cracked an eye open to see him looking at me in exasperation. "I told you I have forgiven you, not that I forgot what happened."

He let out a heavy sigh and let himself dramatically fall back on the ground. "I made a grave mistake, and for your solace: no."

Both my eyes were open now. "No?"

He smiled at me knowingly. "No, the feeling I had while being with Mirwen, in any way, is nothing compared to how I feel when I sit next to you."

I leaned over to peer down at him with a smug grin. "When you sit next to me?"

His eyes squinted as he had to move slightly out of the direction of the sun to take my own complexion in. "When I sit next to you."

I moved over to lean an arm alongside his shoulder and held myself up on my side while continuing to peer over him in a joyful banter. "What if I wasn't just sitting next to you?"

"This certainly has its benefits."

I let out a laugh at his bluntness and he smiled up at me peacefully. A hand moved to take a piece of hair that had fallen from my braid and tucked it back behind my ear. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and bit my lip to try and tone down the shit-eating grin I was probably wearing.

"You are absolutely beautiful, Nemir," he voiced, letting his hand linger on down my jaw in a faint caress. "And you do not even realize how magnificent you are."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, I know how wonderful I am."

He let out a low hum. "Then take what you think you are and magnify it by much more, and that is what you are to everyone else."

I tilted my head slightly. "And what am I to you?"

His smile widened. "Take what you are to everyone else," I nodded, "and then multiply that by the largest number you can imagine."

I blinked. "I can imagine quite a bit."

He leaned up on his elbows, putting our faces within inches of each other. I licked my lips. If I only just bent down a little bit more…

"Perfect."

He leaned.

I leaned.

My eyes fluttered close, a hitch in my breath-

And then my stomach growled. Loudly.

I immediately pulled away, groaning at my body's horrible timing. I fell onto my back at his side, as Glorfindel started to laugh.

"Are you hungry?"

I turned my head to see that he sat up and was looking down at me in a way that I couldn't find words to describe. My cheeks reddened to the point that I had a feeling I was resembling a tomato.

"Well, my stomach seems to think so," I droned, as my hands reached up to cover my face in my misery.

However, before they could reach their destination, Glorfindel had taken my hands in his and pressed two delicate kisses on my palms.

My cheeks reddened even further.

"I will be happy to feed you to your heart's content, my Lady."

I choked out a laugh as he used my hands to pull me upward in a seated position. "We both know I am most certainly not a Lady."

He let go of my hands to reach for the sandwiches that were wrapped in cloth. "You are not just a Lady, of course," he informed me. "You are the most beautiful sea maiden I have ever laid eyes upon, a true water jewel. My Nemir."

I blinked back my shock as he handed me the food. I sat there, mulling over how he must have viewed me as I took bite after bite, all the while completely aware of the steady gaze at my side.

"Thank you," I finally told him.

He smiled, taking the leftover cloth from my hands. "You are most welcome. I would shower you with compliments for the rest of my days if you would allow me."

I felt my heart threaten to pound out of my chest, at least, if it already hadn't. "I might take you up on that offer."

Glorfindel seemed to glow in his happiness. "I will wait until you say the words, Milady."

I laughed again and felt far more invigorated than I had in years. If my heart could melt, jump right out of my jest in joy, and pump so fast from all this attention at once- this would be the moment it could ever happen.

I never felt like this before.

It was… nice.

And I was just sitting next to him, having a pleasant conversation.

My heart soared.

"Would you like a strawberry?"

I looked back at him in shock. "What?"

His laughter was melodious. "I asked you if you would like a strawberry." He took out a bowl of the delicious fruit. "I brought some along with me."

"Of course I want strawberries!"

Glorfindel held one out to me by the stem, and I paused momentarily, an idea starting to form in my mind. Now all that remained was a question: to be my inner slut or not to be my inner slut.

A wicked grin threatened to cross my lips.

I chose the former.

I watched him with as much seductiveness as I could gather, and leaned in to take the strawberry with a low moan, letting my lips graze across his fingers.

My inner slut ran an Olympic victory lap at the dilated pupils and the hitch in his breath that followed. He licked his lips before I leaned back, and closed my eyes to savor the juicy flavor.

"I love strawberries."

He let out a breathless chuckle. "It sure seems like you do, Nemir." He held out another. "Would you like some more?"

I let the wicked grin seep through my restraint. "Of course."

For the next few hours, we sat talking about anything and everything, feeding each other various things he pulled from his pack. It was both seductive and pleasurable, and the tension between the two of us seemed to only strengthen the longer we were together.

And we still hadn't kissed yet.

Not even a peck.

I was starting to feel a little cheated when the conversation took a turn I knew would soon happen.

"What happened when the darkness surrounded you?"

I sighed, leaning against his shoulder while staring up at the clouds in the sky. He was laying on his back, and I had draped myself partially on him, letting my head find the comfort of his body as I gazed upward.

His hand soon found my braid and started to play with the pieces that had long since fallen from Gerda's masterpiece.

"I don't know, I wasn't feeling wonderful and all of a sudden everything just got worse," I explained, wringing my hands together on my abdomen as I spoke. "It was horrible. I saw so many terrible things… I just wanted to die."

Glorfindel stiffened below me, and the arm that had found its way to my hair quickly wrapped around me tightly. "Never…" He choked on his words, and took a deep breath before continuing, "Nemir, please never speak like that again."

I let my body turn to the side as I snuggled into his embrace. His other arm came around me too, and I let out a peaceful sigh at the feeling. "If you keep holding me like this I probably won't need to."

He squeezed me tighter. "Please do not dwell on those thoughts, they will do nothing but hurt you."

"I don't know how to shut them off," I told him. "They just won't go away."

His head nuzzled into my hair. "I will make them go away," he spoke, his voice slightly muffled. "They will not take you from me."

I let out some weak laughter. "I didn't know I was yours to keep."

Glorfindel held me tighter. "Does it feel like I am giving you up so easily, Nemir?"

The strength in his words and voice only made me feel as though my heart was soaring once more. Was it possible… could he be the one that Aphrodite had told me about?

But then again… he did go and kiss Mirwen. His former lover. Even though he says all these things about me, could it be true? Would it be possible? The two of us?

"What happened when the darkness started to drain your fea? Were there any signs?"

I gulped. "Like I said, I wasn't feeling good about myself-"

He stiffened again. "Was this after you saw me kissing Lady Mirwen?" He asked, his voice coming out in a quiet dulcet tone that rang in pain and sorrow. "Nemir?"

I refused to answer that question. It would only hurt him, and I refused to do that now. Especially now, when I was in his arms where I had wanted to be for so long…

"It showed me my friends when they died," I told him. My voice suddenly came out emotionless and cold- something I had to be if I was going to do what I knew had to be done. "It showed me how it killed them. And I knew it was my fault."

I sat up as his arms went slack around me, and scooted over to create some space between us. He immediately followed my movements and sat up as well, looking into my eyes with his own intense stare. "What happened?"

I looked down at my hands. They were clasped together, straining from the pressure I placed upon them.

"If I am going to tell you about what happened to my friends, you are going to have to know a few other things first."

I noticed his jaw tighten with the rest of his body, then he let out a short breath. "What is it that you need to tell me?"

"There is a reason I don't like to wear shirts to training or put on dresses that don't cover my arms or my back," I told him.

His eyes widened.

I breathed in and out. Once. Twice. Three times.

"When I was twelve years old, I discovered that everything I had known up to that point was a lie…"

And so I told him my story.

Everything.

All the quests, all the friends I had lost, the people I had loved, the mistakes I had made, the happiness I had found… then how all of it had been stripped away when I was in Tartarus, and how I had been brought down to the very grain of my conscience and was nearly dead before I freed myself.

How, amidst the pain and torture I had suffered at the hands of in the pit- I had unveiled the very information to my captors that had helped them brutally kill not just my friends, but my mom and Paul.

I had been tortured to the brink of insanity, I had watched as my body was torn apart and pieced back together, then raped and molested until I couldn't take it anymore. There was nothing left of my but a shell of the former person I had been.

I was the reason my friends were dead.

I had told the torturers of the weaknesses every single friend had which led to their demise. I told them how to get into my mother's home. I told them where she lived. I told them everything.

I was weak.

I was a spineless, horrible fool who did not deserve Glorfindel for every ounce of honor he had, I was feeble, puny, and too fragile and bare to even be considered like-minded. I did not deserve his affection.

I had spoken all the words that could be spoken. I finally allowed myself to break down into the tears that I had held back with the secrets of what truly happened in the pit. Those words that I never divulged to anyone in fear I wouldn't be the hero they needed me to be. The hero they thought it was.

Glorfindel looked at me with eyes shining from the silver lining of tears that threatened to leak down his immaculate face. "It was not your fault."

I felt my body start to shake as sobs threatened to break me, and he took me into his arms and held me together. All the broken pieces and shattered dreams were slowly mended within his golden light.

"I am here, Nemir, and you are so strong. You are so strong," he whispered into my ear as he held me in his arms, rocking us back and forth.

Through the sobs, I could hear him diligently tell me, "It was not your fault. You are not to be blamed. Never, never blame yourself for what happened. You were so strong for so long, Nemir."

With those words, this broken fool started to be put back together again. Piece by piece, his golden light persevered in my darkness and helped mend my weakness, strengthen my soul, and for the first time in my life, I finally felt like I was free.