Do Not Go Gentle
Chapter 37: Yet Another Luncheon
The next morning I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. If I wasn't careful, I probably would have been able to fly away from Imladris and escape from all my doubts and worries for good.
But I had a quest to complete in Arda, and even though I didn't know what it was going to entail, I wasn't going to give up that easily.
I had too many friends here to give up on them.
The last thing I really remember from yesterday was falling asleep in Glorfindel's embrace. I must have been really exhausted- I probably slept for nearly 16 hours if my knowledge of timekeeping in this world is correct.
But that's not exactly a skill I've been able to uptake, so I would have to see if Elrond could find me a watch or something like one.
"Good morning, Persie," Gerda's voice chirped from the doorway as she let herself in my room.
I sat up in my bed and wiped the tiredness from my eyes. "Morning, Gerds. How was your day yesterday?"
Gerda, the beautiful brunette maiden, walked toward me with her hair tied back in a low bun and wearing a blue dress with a white smock. She looked like she could have been the elven version of a brunette Cinderella without the Wicked Step Mother.
And of course, without the cinders all over her.
"I went to visit my parents with Geren," she told me. "It was nice to visit them, I had not seen them for some time."
"They don't live in Imladris?"
Gerda shook her head. "They live a few leagues outside of Imladris's borders. It is far enough that Geren and I needed horses to get there and back within the day."
I nodded. "Did you have a good time with your family?"
"I find myself missing them more and more now that I had just seen them," she said. "It was nice to eat the food my Nana made, and hear the stories Ada tells again."
I thought back to when my mom would make the two of us dinner, and the funny stories we would share with each other while trying not to laugh into our drinks. It was nice to think of the woman my mother was, not what happened to her.
"Are you well, mellon nin?"
I snapped my gaze up to look at Gerda, who now had moved to the side of my bed warily. "I'm still a bit tired," I admitted. I thought that if I looked half as tired as I felt, she would be able to tell that I lied if I tried to hide it. "I might need to rest a little this morning."
"I thought there was something odd happening when Lord Glorfindel brought you back all tear-stricken and unconscious yesterday evening," Gerda revealed, sitting down on the bed with practiced poise. "Did he do something to upset you? I was awfully worried that something bad happened and earlier you were so excited…"
I shook my head, stopping her quickened pace. "No, I actually had a wonderful time," I said. "We just talked about what happened with the darkness that tried to suck my soul out of me. It wasn't a fun conversation, but it needed to happen."
She didn't look to be completely convinced. "If you say so."
I rolled my eyes and fell back against my pillows with a sigh. "It has to do with all of these scars," I told her, rolling up my puffy sleeves of the sleep tunic I wore, showing her all of the white lines that marked my tan skin. "That's why it wasn't fun. I dreamt of it too, last night. That wasn't fun either."
Gerda's face warped into worry. "Why is reliving that necessary? Did Lord Glorfindel force you to do this?"
I let my arms drop down at my sides. "Look, Gerds, I had to get some things off my chest that I haven't told anyone. Glorfindel understood so it was nice to talk to someone who had been through some tough stuff, too."
A small smile glimmered through her concerned features. "Well, then I am pleased that you were able to find someone to confide in. Forgive me for being so wound up, Persie, I am just worried for you."
I smiled cheekily. "You wouldn't be such a good friend if you weren't worried, Gerds. I know that now."
She let out a little giggle. "I am pleased that you seem to be learning about what having good friends entail."
"You know it."
A knock sounded at the door, and in came the rest of my female friends. It was like they knew exactly when to come in or something, which kind of freaked me out. What if their elfy-ears had them sneaking in on me?
"Good morning, Persie!" Alma chimed, holding Varis's arm as she practically dragged the poor dwarrowdam in the room. Arwen, for her part, followed the chaotic duo in a more leisurely manner that suited her status.
"Gi suilon, mellon nin," Arwen spoke, and I wracked my brain to try and figure out what she said.
Alma narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew that we had covered this before… it's not my fault that there's a million other things going on in my brain!
"She said that she greets you," Gerda spoke quietly in my ear. "Tell her, Mae g'ovannen. It means 'well met.'"
"Mae g'ovannen, Arwen."
Her answering smile was blinding. "Agoreg vae."
I quickly turned to Gerda again, who was hiding her laughter behind her hands. "She told you that you did well, mellon nin."
I looked at Arwen smugly. "Ni lassui."
Alma sighed in relief. "At least you remembered how to say thank you," she told me with exasperation. "That shows me that not all of my teachings have gone to waste."
"Can we please speak in common now?" Varis asked, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I do not wish to learn how to speak Elvish, even though you do let me stay here, and I am grateful," she added, looking at Arwen with that point, "But I do not wish to learn the language of those whom my kin detests." She added quickly, "Even if it is not so for me."
Arwen smiled down at the dwarrowdam knowingly and placed a kind hand on her shoulder. "Peace, mellon nin, and know you have my friendship."
Varis smiled back at the Lady of Imladris warily. "Thank you."
Alma chose that moment to ruin my good mood. "Now, we need to get Persie dressed, or we will be late for the luncheon!"
My teeth ground against each other. "What luncheon?"
"What is this?" Alma walked over to my bedside table and picked up a note. "It is addressed to you, Persie."
I snatched the letter out of her hands with a scowl. "I'm not letting this luncheon thing drop."
Varis sniggered, and Gerda gave her a disapproving look.
Nemir,
Thank you for a day I will never forget. I will forever be thankful that you have come to this world, even if it is just for the blessing to meet you. Hopefully, our story will not end with only that. I will always treasure the words you spoke, and will always think of you as a strong, courageous woman who was given too many burdens for anyone to bear. You are an inspiration to me, and I will do my best every day to be as strong as you.
Your secret is safe with me.
Glorfindel.
My heart melted. Was it possible for an already melted heart to melt even more?
Well, if it is- then that is what happened.
"Was it Lord Glorfindel?" Arwen asked, looking at me curiously. "He is not one to leave notes, but I believe he would be willing to do it for you."
"It seems like your date went rather well," Alma chimed in with a smug smile.
"Then why did you come back crying?" Varis asked, looking between the other Ladies with confusion. "Gerda said she had tear stains when she was dropped off-"
"You guys gossiped about me?" I demanded, looking at their sheepish grins with animosity. "Is there nothing in my life that can be private?"
As if to answer my question, Alma snatched the letter out of my hands and held it in front of both her and Varis to read, while Arwen snuck around to read over their shoulders.
"C'mon, that's not yours to read!" I exclaimed, shoving the covers out of my way and hurrying over to grab the paper from their grubby fingers. "Give it back!"
Alma handed it back with a sultry smile. "It looks like you had a wonderful time."
"It sounds like he also had an inspirational time," Varis added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
"What is the secret?" Alma asked quickly, eyes wide in earnest.
"Yeah! Tell us!" Varis demanded.
"Oh, stop it you two. Let Persie have her fun," Arwen chided, grabbing their shoulders and leading them away from me. "She needs to get ready, and you both are not helping."
Gerda was already moving and grabbed a gown that I didn't know I owned from my wardrobe. "A bath was drawn for you this morning. I am sure you can figure out a way with your powers to heat it up, or you just have to be quick," she told me. "Now hurry up and get clean so we can get you ready."
"I didn't even know there was an event today!" I whined, but hurried to the bathroom and hopped in the bath. I quickly scrubbed myself clean and washed my hair with the products the elves used, and used my powers to rinse myself clean and then dry.
It really helped with drying my hair- I didn't have as many straggly hairs when I used my powers to dry my hair rather than letting it sit. Plus, it probably would be poor taste to show up to an event with wet hair.
"Good, now put on this dress and Arwen will do your hair for you," Gerda commanded as Arwen grabbed the comb from my vanity.
I looked at the dress, seeing the signature sleeves, and paused.
"I don't want to wear this dress."
Gerda frowned. "This is not the time to argue about wearing a dress-"
"No, it's not that," I cut her off. "I just want to wear a different one, that's all."
The Ladies looked at each other in confusion. Gerda looked completely shell-shocked, and I took pity on her, and continued, "Look, I want to wear something sleeveless today. It's hot and I don't think I would like wearing something so constricting today."
Alma looked down at my arms, which were bare for everyone to see. Her face paled. "But what about-"
"I'm not upset by them anymore," I decided, looking at all the lines that littered my arms. "I think it's time I moved on, don't you?"
Alma and Gerda nodded profusely, while Arwen simply smiled. Varis, for her part, didn't know what I was hiding beneath my sleeves, and she still looked like she was trying to piece together what had happened to me. I suppose I owe them an explanation.
"It would be wonderful if you left your sorrow in the past," Arwen told me and moved to the wardrobe to grab another gown. This time, it was sleeveless. "I think you should wear this, instead."
It was beautiful, and I took it from her hands with a feeling of awe sweeping over me. "Arwen… this is-"
"I had this commissioned just for this occasion," she explained, running a hand along the fine detail of the gown. "I think it is time you learn just how beautiful you are."
The gown, red in color, was made of the finest satin and silk, with threaded embroidery throughout the fabric. There were small jewels encrusted within the embroidery, making it look as though they were tiny red stars bursting from the seems. It was a sheath gown and would show off my athletic figure, ending with a swooping bow neckline.
Alma cut through my thoughts, "What are you waiting for? Try it on!"
And I did.
Arwen delicately propped my hair up in a sweeping up-do, where she placed tiny red crystals in parts of my hair that matched the dress. Alma ran a line of kohl underneath my eyes, making the green pop in tandem with the red of my gown.
They were all dressed immaculately, and I was upset with my lack of observation skills as I should have known something was happening earlier just from the way they looked. Arwen wore a fine lavender gown with her hair falling down in perfect curls, Alma wore a blue gown that made the brown eyes pop, and Varis wore a black gown. She was still in mourning.
"I feel like everyone's eyes are on me," I muttered to Arwen, who I was entering the hall with.
She had an iron grip on my arm as we escorted each other into the hall, where all the other Ladies of the court had already gathered. We were the last ones to arrive, probably because of me, but let's not be too quick to assume shall we?
"You are beautiful, a true ruby in the eyes of all of us," Arwen told me quietly through her smile. "They are all jealous of how fine you look today."
I held up my other hand to smother my snort of laughter. "They're probably wondering what the Hades happened to my arms, but that's just me."
Arwen looked at me conspiratorially. "That might be it, too. However, they are still paling in comparison to your beauty even with your scars."
"You're not someone who should say things like that," I told her. "You're the Evenstar-"
"Which is exactly why I can speak as I do," she interrupted kindly. "I know beauty for what it is, and you are truly beautiful, mellon nin. And not just today."
A faint blush fluttered along my cheeks. "Really?"
"Really."
The rest of the luncheon passed reasonably well, mostly because Arwen was able to take control over everyone relatively quickly, and I remained dutifully at her side as the guest to her house. Alma and Varis were sitting on Arwen's other side, as Varis was acting as a ward to Alma's own family.
At least, that's how I have come to understand that sticky situation. Nothing seems to be straightforward with those dwarves.
Well, as seamless as the luncheon had gone so far, there had to be a moment of drama or this wouldn't be the Imladris courts that I know and despise.
"Well, well, well… look who is here, Ladies," Mirwen spoke, just as everyone started to get up and take their leave. Arwen immediately placed a hand on my arm in warning, but I ignored her. This was between me and the Queen Bitch. "Oh, and look! She's showing off her ugly skin! How hideous is that! My, I did not think I would be able to keep my food down while being in the same space as… that."
I looked down at my arms, a faint frown crossing my face. I looked up to see the malevolent smile wringing along with Mirwen's otherwise flawless features, and her cronies were standing behind her sporting the same looks.
"I did not think they were really that bad," I said honestly. "And from the looks of it, you were able to keep your food down, so it's all good I guess."
Lady Calen looked at me in disgust. "There is no reason someone should have to look at that horrible skin, especially at an event this high of caliber."
I patted Arwen's hand, which had gone stiff on my arm. "Do you Ladies realize you are not only insulting me but the Lady of Imladris with the words you speak?" I asked, raising a brow. "Lady Arwen, daughter of Lord Elrond, granddaughter to the Lady of Light herself, was the one who commissioned this wonderful gown for me. Are you saying she was wrong to do so?"
That seemed to tie their tongues real quick.
"Here's the thing, sweeties," I mocked, "When you all decide to insult me, instead of really hurting my feelings you are just digging a rut for yourself that you will never be able to get out of. I am a guest of Lord Elrond, and I know that I am worth more than any of you combined. Now, just go run back to your daddies and cry about how you weren't able to scare me off. I'm done dealing with you all."
Mirwen stalked forward, a seemingly permanent sneer etched on her face. "You are not going to get rid of me that easily, Lady Persephone. You know you are ugly, you know that you are nothing compared to me, and you know that if it came down to it- Lord Glorfindel would choose me. Not you."
"I'm not ugly. I've saved the world so many times that you and your tiny brain probably couldn't count that high," I heard Varis let out a snicker behind me, and smiled as I continued, "I've faced monsters and beings far more powerful than the likes of you, or any of your so-called 'privilege.' Without that, what are you? Nothing. However, for me? I am a hero, and I know I am a hero. I've saved people and got these scars because of it. I was taken, tortured, brutally mutilated and could barely remember my own name. But guess what? I still saved the world."
"That has nothing to do with Lord Glorfindel," Mirwen mocked. "He will still pick me."
I shrugged. "So be it. At least I don't need a man for my worth. That's where we're different, Mirwen. I don't need Glorfindel. He doesn't need me. But for some reason, we still like each other just the way we are, and nothing can change that."
Her face heated red in anger. "You will just be dropped to the side, and I will be the one he goes back to." She smirked. "He always comes crawling back. Always."
I smiled back at her and grabbed Arwen's arm at my side to prepare to leave. "That's the thing, Mirwen. I don't need a man to feel whole. And, for the record, I don't expect anyone to crawl for me, either." I looked at her up and down, finally letting the sneer take over my face. "Have a good day."
I turned and left, Arwen at my side. We walked through Alma and Varis, who had been flanking the two of us respectively. Arwen squeezed my arm as Mirwen started screeching about something I didn't bother to listen to.
"Agoreg vae." Arwen's melodious voice sounded from my side.
I let a real smile grace my lips. "Ni lassui."
We walked out of the halls, leaving the mess of Mirwen, Calen, and the other cronies behind.
When we made it back to my chambers, which seem to be the hang-out for our little friend group, I let myself drop on the couch with a groan.
"That was most likely my favorite moment ever," Varis voiced, a faint smile on her face while recalling the showdown between Mirwen and me. "You did not let your guard down or let your fear show. It was as if you were channeling your inner dwarrowdam, my friend."
I snorted. "My inner dwarrowdam? I don't think that's a thing."
Varis shrugged. "I think everyone has a little bit of dwarf in them. Just us dwarrow are the only ones who can let it out all the time. Something seems to block everyone else, I guess."
"What, like civility?" Alma asked sarcastically, leading Varis to throw a pillow at her face.
Arwen looked over at me fondly. "It was nice what you said about me and my father. I know Ada would appreciate it."
"Why do you let those Ladies walk all over you?" I asked curiously.
"Well, they never actually did address her," Alma cut in, holding up a hand at Varis just in case she threw something else her way. "They attack you as you are the closest thing that they could get to her with. It is quite humorous when one looks at it that way."
"I think they must be scared of me," Arwen admitted.
I looked at her oddly. "Scared? Nah. Intimidated- yes."
She blinked. "Am I truly that intimidating?"
"I think it is the fact that you are the Evenstar," Varis voiced, from where she was leaning back against the cushion to the love seat. "You are too beautiful for anyone to not be intimidated, really."
Arwen looked down at her hands, and I couldn't help but give her a little grin. "At least no one could ever call you ugly."
The elleth nearly rolled her eyes in annoyance. "There is no reason for them to do that at all, really."
"Yes, really, Persie. You need to get with the facts," Alma called out, and I threw the pillow beneath me at her face, letting out a laugh from her screech in response.
"You spend too much time with Persie," Gerda spoke from where she stood to the side of the room. "Her speaking habits are getting to you, Almarian."
Alma let out a loud groan. "Oh no, I can hear it happening, too!"
We all laughed at the poor elleth. I mean, I guess my speech really wasn't the best thing around here, but sue me. I'm from New York. We don't care.
After a few moments of silence and just enjoying each other's presence, I decided to share a little more with these females as I knew they were the best friends I had in this world and I felt like I owed them the truth.
"You said you wanted to know what the secret was," I spoke, immediately smiling at the intrigued faces that popped up. "And I think I should tell you guys."
"Yeah, I want to know," Varis said, eyeing me cautiously. "It will not make me want to puke, will it? I would rather you kept your love life quiet if that is what this is about."
Alma pushed her to the side. "Do not tell her that, she should share if she wants. Some of us might want to hear!"
"Well, as nice as that is to know, this secret really doesn't have much to do with that. But you guys need to be sitting down I think," I looked pointedly at Gerda, who quickly moved to sit on the chair arm by Varis. "It's going to be a long tale."
"Is this about your past?" Arwen asked. Her blue eyes seemed to be whirling within their depths, decoding years of secrets that I didn't even need to speak for her to know.
"Yeah," I said, before taking a deep breath. "I think it's time you guys learned about what happened on my homeworld. You've had to see enough nightmares to have an idea, I'm sure, but I think it's time you all get the whole picture."
The others looked between each other cautiously. "This will not trigger you into anything bad, will it?" Gerda asked warily. "I would not want you to feel even worse because of this."
I smiled at my friend fondly. "I will tell you nothing more than I told Glorfindel. I think I can do this again, especially when I know you all are great supporters."
They all smiled at me, and then I began.
