Bill picked up his gavel. "Looks like we have this all worked out," he said, smiling. The relief was clear on his face; the decision was no longer in his hands and they had reached the best possible outcome.
He rapped the gavel lightly on his desk. "Case dismissed." He raised his eyebrows at Elizabeth. "My two favorite words these days."
Elizabeth was breathing again, but the accompanying pain in her heart at what she had just heard was still lingering. She looked at Caleb, her eyes filling with tears, and wondered how any human being could hurt a child.
Nathan still had hold of her as he spoke evenly to Caleb. "Tomorrow morning, I will meet you at the train station. I'll hand you the money once you're on the train going west. Right now, I'd suggest you start packing."
Caleb had transformed from cocky to sullen, and Elizabeth watched as his true colors became evident. He was no longer the fast-talking flatterer. When he stood up and looked at her, his contempt for her was clear in his eyes. He made a surly bow, and said, with dripping sarcasm, "Mrs. Thornton."
Nathan narrowed his eyes at Caleb and said icily, "Go."
Bill stood and said, "Let me escort you to the saloon, Mr. Butler. We wouldn't want you taking any detours, would we?"
When they went out the door, Elizabeth felt her knees weaken. She exhaled and leaned against Nathan, and then he turned and took her into his arms. She was crying softly into his red serge. "You never told me," she said.
Nathan stroked her hair. "Why would I?" He pulled away and looked into her eyes. He rubbed his thumb gently across her cheek, wiping away a tear. "It would only hurt you, and what's done is done. All we can do is make Allie's life the best it can be now," he said softly.
In a broken voice, Elizabeth said, "But you can't hold all that inside you, Nathan. All those terrible memories. You must be carrying around so much pain."
He smiled sadly down at her. "And you're not?" He sighed. "It's a part of what makes us who we are, Elizabeth. Those memories will remind me to always be there for Allie."
Elizabeth reached her hand up and touched his cheek. "And you have been." She shook her head lightly and wiped away the last of her tears. "That horrible man. I had a feeling about him yesterday."
Nathan took Elizabeth over to the chairs in front of Bill's desk and they sat down. "When Allie said he walked with you from school to town, it was like my life was folding in on itself somehow. I didn't think I would ever see him again, at the same time I worried he might come for Allie someday."
Elizabeth nodded. "The good thing is that now you know he won't. He's signing away his right to ever see her again."
Nathan squeezed her hand gently. "Thank you for calming me down. I think you knew how close I was to... really losing my temper." Nathan sighed. "Which would not have helped."
Elizabeth looked resolutely into Nathan's eyes. "What about Allie? How will we tell her?"
Nathan frowned and said quickly, "We won't. He doesn't deserve that, Elizabeth. He doesn't deserve for her to know him."
Elizabeth paused. "I know how you feel, Nathan. But if we don't tell her, this becomes a secret that we keep. Secrets don't work well in families, and this is a big one. Her father has essentially... " Elizabeth almost choked on the word, "... sold her to us. She spoke to him on our walk from the school, she saw us all just now in the street. What if someday she sees a photo, or he comes back into her life? How do we justify not telling her that this has happened?"
Nathan looked at the floor. "It will hurt her."
"Yes, it may do that. But she's growing up, and we can't protect her from everything. I've talked with her a lot about her feelings. She wants to know why things are the way they are. We need to let her try to understand."
Nathan sighed and looked at her for a long moment. "Okay," Nathan said. "Let's get Allie and Jack home, and we can talk there."
As they stood to go, Bill came back into the office.
"Well, I didn't tuck him in, but he's there. Whether he stays there is another thing entirely."
Nathan said, "He wants his money in the morning. He'll stay until he gets that." Reaching his hand out, Nathan said, "Thank you, Bill." He smiled. "You really are a fine Judge."
Bill laughed softly, shaking Nathan's hand. "One foot in front of the other. I never know how it's gonna turn out. This happened to be a good one." He hugged Elizabeth, and then looked at both of them. "And I think I'll bring the adoption papers personally to Airdrie. I'm in the mood for a wedding."
Elizabeth threw her arms around him. "Really? We would love that!" She frowned a little. "But if you and Nathan are both gone, who's the law in town?" she asked, smiling.
Bill thought for a moment, then he turned to Nathan. "What would you think if I deputized Lucas? He knows his way around a firearm. It's just for a day or so."
Nathan laughed. "It might go to his head," he said, "But I think Lucas is a good choice. We'll see what he's made of."
Bill frowned for a moment. "I'm trying to imagine Lucas in the red serge." He shook his head. "It's not really working for me."
Both Elizabeth and Nathan shook their heads with him. "Nope," Elizabeth said. She leaned into Nathan and he hugged her tightly. They locked eyes and had another one of their public-private moments.
Bill raised his eyebrows. "All right you two, take it outside," he said, smiling. "I have paperwork to draw up for tomorrow morning. I'll meet you at the train station with it, Nathan."
Nathan smiled. "Glad you'll be there for backup, Bill."
Nathan and Elizabeth thanked him again and went out into the clear night. They walked, hand in hand, down to the dress shop to pick up Allie and Jack from Rosemary, and then they headed home.
Once Jack was asleep, Elizabeth and Nathan sat down with Allie.
Elizabeth said, "You're growing up, Allie, and we know that you want to understand things. Something happened tonight that we need to tell you about, but it might be hard for you to hear. We're here to talk with you about any questions you have, tonight or any time, okay?"
Allie nodded. "Does it have to do with that man? Mr. Baker?"
"Yes," Nathan said. "But that's not his real name. His name is Caleb Butler." Nathan took a deep breath. "He's your father."
Both Elizabeth and Nathan watched Allie carefully. They could see the warring emotions of shock, disbelief and hurt quickly cross her face, and she breathed a little faster.
After a moment she spoke. "Why didn't he tell me who he was yesterday?" she asked.
Elizabeth said, "We think he was waiting for your Uncle Nathan to get back into town."
Allie looked at Nathan. "What did he say to you?"
Nathan said, "At first, he said that he wanted to take you with him, Allie."
For the first time, Allie looked truly distressed, and she said, quickly, "I don't want to go with him. I want to stay here with you."
Elizabeth reached her arm around Allie, and Nathan took her hand, saying, "You're not going anywhere, Allie. You're staying with us, always, for as long as you want. He... changed his mind."
Allie frowned and thought for a moment. She looked at her uncle. "You knew him, didn't you? When I was little? I've asked you about him but you've always just said it was complicated. Why did he leave me with you?"
Nathan took a deep breath. "After your mother died, he must not have felt like he could take care of you. We didn't really talk about it. He just left."
"But you didn't mind that he left, because you didn't like him, did you?"
"No, I didn't like him," Nathan said, simply.
"Why?" Allie asked.
"Because..." Nathan said, trying to find the right words. "... he didn't treat you or your mother very well."
"Did he hurt us?" Allie said, her face completely open.
"Why do you ask that, Allie?" Nathan said softly.
Allie looked down at her hands. "I don't remember Sarah at all, and you've said that she loved me very much. But Mr. Baker... my... father... Caleb?" Nathan nodded and Allie continued, "When I saw him tonight he looked different, kind of scared, or angry, not like he did when we were walking yesterday. And I felt like maybe I knew him," Allie said, hesitating. "So, did he? Hurt us?"
Nathan's voice was almost a whisper. "Yes."
Allie nodded slowly. "I thought so," she said softly.
"What do you remember, Allie?" Elizabeth asked tenderly.
Allie frowned. "When I was in the shop with Rosemary, I was just sitting with Jack, and I was wondering what he thinks sometimes. You know," Allie looked at Elizabeth, "When he looks so hard into your eyes?"
Elizabeth laughed softly. "I know exactly what you mean. I wonder the same thing sometimes."
Allie continued, "I was just looking at Jack, and I was thinking that I was that age once, and I got a kind of picture in my head of Grandma pulling me away from someone, a man, and even though it didn't make any sense, I thought of Mr. Baker. Caleb."
Nathan exhaled. "Oh, Allie," he said softly. "I'm so sorry."
Allie said, slowly, "It's okay, Uncle Nathan. It felt really far away. It didn't hurt. I've always felt safe with you, like you wouldn't let anything happen to me."
Elizabeth's arm was still around Allie, and she held her tightly. In truth, Allie was taking all this better than Elizabeth herself was. Elizabeth felt if she even spoke, the tears would start to fall, and they might never stop.
Clear-eyed, Allie looked at Nathan. "Why did he change his mind? About wanting to take me?"
Nathan was all in at this point. He knew that Elizabeth had been right about telling Allie. This needed to happen and he'd put it off longer than he should have because of his own fears. "He needs money, Allie. We offered him money and he took it. I'm giving it to him tomorrow when he gets on the train. He's promised never to come back."
Allie took a deep breath, and now there was just a trace of tears in her eyes. "You would never do that, Uncle Nathan. Take money and promise not to see me again."
"No, I wouldn't," Nathan said, his voice breaking. "I never would, Allie." He closed the small space between them and the three of them held each other. Some barrier had been broken, and Nathan felt closer to Allie than ever before. He knew that it was better that she knew and it was good that he'd told her. And he knew that from this day forward he would feel he could talk to her about anything.
Nathan thought about his own father. If Archie had been honest with him about his own struggles with gambling and his fears about providing for his family when Nathan was thirteen, would that have been too much of a burden on Nathan's young shoulders, or would it have helped them move together rather than apart? Would things have been different between them? He wished he had been given the chance to try to understand.
Allie wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked at both of them. "Everything's the same, right? You're still getting married?"
Elizabeth and Nathan both smiled and nodded. "Yes, absolutely," Elizabeth said.
Allie said, "That's the only thing I was afraid of, when you said there were things you couldn't tell me. I was afraid it was about that."
Nathan smoothed Allie's hair at the same time he looked at Elizabeth with soft, blue eyes. "Nothing can change that. We're getting married and we're all going to be a family in our house by the pond." He looked back at Allie. "And when we're in Airdrie, if you have more questions you want to ask about Sarah or Caleb, we'll let Grandma and Charlie know that they can tell you whatever you want to know."
Nathan put his hand on Allie's shoulder. "I've never meant to keep things from you, I only meant to protect you from being hurt. You're grown now, and we won't always be able to protect you, but we'll always be honest."
Elizabeth said, "And we'll always be a place you can come to for comfort when you do get hurt. Please remember that, Allie. We love you very much."
Allie hugged them both tightly. She felt very grown up, and it did hurt just a little. But she felt safe, and loved, and home.
