The press has managed to brew up a spectacular tempest in the royal teapot as everything comes to a head in Kslchen's Twist of Fate. All the press is saying the same thing, mostly in picture-stories, so we pulled a sample for you. Once again, we haven't accredited bylines, but this selection derives variously from The Sun (Andrew Rosemont), The Daily Mail (Jordon Montgomery, Royal Correspondent), and Heat, with the occasional scathing contribution from one Irene Howard of The Shoreline Beacon, Glen St Mary.
Cinderilla is all slippers, no knickers!
[Grainy shot of Rilla in bathrobe and slippers at her kitchen window. She is making up a late-night mug of something indeterminate.]
Undercover Barbie
[Long-lens shot of Rilla cleaning flat in comfortable jogging bottoms and tank-top.]
Cinderilla's strip-tease
[Blurry photograph of Rilla pulling a t-shirt over her head. Presumably before getting ready for bed.]
Rilla's royal unveiling
'The same blurry photograph as above, now in the hands of different newsroom.]
Cinderilla reveals all
[Fuzzy, long-lens shot of Rilla stepping into bathrobe and out of her shower. Picture quality very poor; picture still above the fold.]
Rilla's raunchy knickers
[Pictured; Rilla in lacey camisole dressing for an evening out.]
Ken's Royal Mountie
[It's the return of the lacey camisole and knickers as post-shower, Rilla sits on the edge of her bed and changes into pyjamas.]
Prince shunned while pussy stroked
[Pictured; A pyjama-clad Rilla cuddles George in Croydon bedroom]
And, building on the fire storm we have this additional piece of speculation from The Sun
Andrew Rosemont, Royal Correspndent. Twitter Rosemont_Sun
The Sun
EXCLUSIVE: Puppet Master Rilla Staged Photographs
It has been exclusively revealed to The Sun, that Rilla Blythe may have staged the recent lingerie shots that were published as paparazzi snaps.
Expert analysis of the photographs show that in the each of the snaps Rilla Blythe is either smiling coyly, standing seductively and even in one instance staring directly into the camera lens with a 'come hither' look. These experts hypothesised that shots such as these could have only been achieved if Rilla Blythe had known the photos were being taken. The techniques used, such as long lens cameras, and grainy film, they added, were a clever ploy to make them look like paparazzi snaps, in an ill-considered attempt to garner public sympathy.
"I've been watching her flat for several weeks," one reporter who preferred not to be named commented, "it was a standing joke that the curtains were only open when she wasn't in the flat, and closed when she was home. She must have opened them specifically for these photographs to be taken," he speculated.
Buckingham Palace's statement asking for her privacy to be respected clearly shows that they, like the rest of Britain, have been hoodwinked by this Canadian media-tart.
The Sun's own fashion editor, Amy Amhurst, commented that in Rilla was seen wearing matching lacy camisole and knickers. "While most girls have matching sets for that special occasion, for every Rilla's to be wearing these while her boyfriend is away, she clearly was dressing for the photo shoot."
There had been calls for the police to investigate if these photographs constituted an invasion of privacy. The Sun believes this should be a full investigation to uncover not only who took the photographs but Rilla Blythe's involvement in orchestrating the event.
Not all the coverage has been negative, here's jus tone of the many letters that flooded in from the public, supplied by our guest writer DW.618
Oxford Mail
Letters to the Editor
XX February 2014
Thank You for Protecting Someone's Else's Child When Needed
Being a parent means being a protector...and, as our children grow older, it also means holding ourselves back from being that protector so that our children can grow and mature into independent adults. As a parent of university-aged children, I realise that my primary role now is no longer as a protector. It is my job to be a behind-the-scenes supporter...until the occasional crises arise when my sons or daughters need more from me. Those rare opportunities to intervene and assist my children warm my heart and make me pleased to, once again, return to my role as protector.
You may wonder why I'm writing about this today. Like many of you, I've been aware of the increasing harassment that Prince Kenneth's girlfriend, Rilla Blythe, has been encountering from the media. It must greatly pain her parents to remain in the background while their daughter endures these attacks of her character and her privacy. Even if she wanted to have her parents return to their Protector roles and run interference for her...let's face it...what good would they truly be able to do against a Goliath the size of the international press? So it was a great joy to me to realize that another set of parents has stepped up in a Protector role for Rilla...and this set comes with their own security officers!
(Photo caption # 1 - King Owen's head of security was recently seen directing several royal protection officers to shepherd Rilla through an intense crowd of reporters outside a clothing store)
(Photo caption #2 - the recent official statement from Buckingham Palace)
While she attended Oxford with Prince Ken, Rilla had the opportunity to grow both as an independent adult and as the protected girlfriend of the prince in a blooming relationship. However, Prince Ken's departure for extended military training in Scotland has left Rilla in a vulnerable situation - physically and (quite probably) emotionally - as she contends with constant attention by the paparazzi.
So from me (and likely from Anne and Gilbert Blythe and from countless other parents of young adults), I say "thank you, King Owen and Queen Leslie" for stepping in to be the protectors of someone else's daughter in her time of need.
(Name and address supplied)
Big thanks to our guest contributer DW.618.
