19

Window Reflections

Three Little Spies

She was happy to be home again. She had cooked a sit down dinner for her family and they had enjoyed swapping stories about the past couple of days. It had been a long time since they had lingered at the table and shared laughs with each other. Mother had told the boys numerous tales of when she had been a little girl, including the flying Lois Ann stories and the boys had almost cried with laughter. But they had also had to make a plan together about how to handle the tax bill that was due. The boys were old enough now to be a part of how their household was going to work. They had done a great job cleaning the garage. And after being up in the attic to find that suitcase, she had realized that they could let go of some of the stuff up there as well. Now a days they didn't have too much time together, but the time they did have together was special, especially now that the boys were older. And especially now that Amanda had another dimension to her life.

The dish water was getting cold. She had lingered a bit longer doing them, and it wasn't because there were more dishes or that they were particularly dirty. For the third time while standing there she had caught herself looking at her reflection in the kitchen window. She couldn't help it, she had never studied her nose so closely before. She had looked at her eyes, her smile, her hair – like any other woman would. But her nose? She had never really inspected it like she had done all day. She supposed it was ok, but cute? Lee had said other things while they had stood there watching Isaac Petrovich and Nadine and Colonel Sung and Chang. He had complimented their non-verbal communication and the way she had handled the thick tension that was so obvious in their precarious international coalition. She had only recently begun to feel that compliments like that coming from Lee Stetson were words that he really meant. She was finally beginning to be able to let his words sink in and it felt good.

It felt good to know that what she brought to the partnership was valuable. Getting assigned to this team by Billy had been huge for her. And she'd been aware that Francine had also been behind the choice. When Billy had told her that she alone was the one who knew Lee well enough to keep him on an even keel in the presence of such adversarial international colleagues, he had legitimized musings that she had been playing with for a while. She had wondered if the unique relationship that she and Lee had developed had been something that Billy and others had noticed, and she had also wondered if it was considered an asset by them. She knew now that they had noticed, and at least in this circumstance it was an asset – in fact it must have been an asset to detente.

But her thoughts on this assignment weren't all in reference to Lee. Amanda was a humble woman, sometimes to a fault. She knew it. But really, she wasn't sure what would have happened if they hadn't had her there. Maybe it was because she was a mother? She hadn't meant to be so outspoken, so much so that Colonel Sung had thought that she was Lee's superior, but if those men couldn't find a way to get over themselves and work together, things were going to deteriorate fast. She was just glad that they had all agreed that she was the right one to infiltrate Food for Flight.

And it had been really wonderful to meet and work with Colonel Sung and Nadine. The international spy community was an odd one, but nowhere else was she going to get to know other people that would understand her so much. And as she stood there at the bar in the Agency plane watching the spies pair off, she had begun to wonder how much the six of them really did have in common. Or at least what she was beginning to truly believe they all had in common. She could tell that Sung and Chang had a very close friendship, if not something deeper, and it was obvious that Nadine and Isaac Petrovitch were in love with each other. How much did they have to hide from how many? She wondered how their relationships had come about. Had they come to care deeply for each other because they had been partners? Had their journeys been anything like her and Lee's?

She and Lee. So much had occurred since they had been dancing together at her reunion. Lee had disappeared on a zero contact mission, and when he had returned, he had been injured, hospitalized and then she had been assigned to personally care for him. And that had proven to be too much – for her and maybe for him, and things between them had gotten all awkward for a bit while they had struggled over William Towne. She still hadn't been sure what to make of all of that when she had gotten the call from Billy about this assignment. It had been a while since Billy had called her in on a case. So often she had gotten involved because she had been with Lee. This had been different. She was there as civilian auxiliary, called in by Billy in response to a request from the president for a team of international spies– one from each country and because she wasn't a spy she was qualified to assist. But her status as civilian auxiliary alone wasn't why Billy had picked her. She had been called in to assist Lee because of the quality of her relationship with Lee. Because she, alone, knew him so well that she would be the one to help him navigate this uncomfortable and contentious international coalition that was supposed to save the world from nuclear disaster.

She did know him well… and yet, she had to admit that thoughts about what exactly their relationship was preoccupied her mind more than she cared to admit. Were they just co-workers, partners, friends, or was there something more, something much deeper growing between them? She had been concerned that those huge question marks would make it hard for her to do the job that she needed to do, but all that had dissipated as Lee sat next to her on that couch as they flew towards California. "A friendly face makes all the difference" he had said. He was glad that she had been there! How many times in the past had she wanted to hear that from him? How many times in the past few months had she been almost sure that was how he felt? "I'm glad you are here. A friendly face makes all the difference." And he had patted her on the hand and looked at her so honestly.

And then later, after all had been said and done and the case had been closed, after watching the couples pair off, he had been staring at her face again. Just staring at her! What had been passing through his mind? There had been a couple of times before that she had thought she had caught him looking at her. There was that time in the Cumberland when she had thought she had felt his eyes on her, but she had never been sure. She vacillated between feeling butterflies at the idea of Lee Stetson looking at her like that and the flush of embarrassment that she might be dreaming the whole thing. But today… well, he had certainly been staring and she had no idea what to make of him. All she had gotten out of him was that she had a cute nose? Well, that and some genuine compliments about her work during the case.

And a dinner invite. It had been a while since they'd had dinner together. This time he had mentioned a restaurant, a nice one. Just the two of them. And he had persisted, asking for tomorrow night when she'd had to decline his offer for tonight because she had promised to be home and spend time with her mother and the boys. It had almost been as though he had anticipated that. His invite today had reminded her of his first invite so many months ago after that difficult impasse they'd had when he had lied about Leslie and they had fought over the job of watching O'Keefe. He hadn't been suave then as he'd been before, like he'd been with those opera tickets. He'd been aware of her family obligations, and he'd been very clear that what he'd wanted was to spend time with her outside of their work environment. Was this a date? A real date?

"Amanda, what is taking you so long? Don't you want to watch the movie?" Her mother's voice jarred her out of her thoughts. Mother was waiting in the family room with the movie all ready. Tomorrow she could spend as much time as she wanted to thinking about dinner with Lee. Maybe she would do something interesting with the boys so that she didn't have a chance to think about it. Oh, it was no use, she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the butterflies she felt all over her insides because of the way he had looked at her today. "A cute nose"? She took one more look at her reflection as she drained the sink and smiled. Finances may be tight at home, but tonight the world was still at peace, she was home with her family and she was pretty sure that Lee Stetson thinking that she had a cute nose was not a bad thing either. She just wasn't sure that knowing that he thought her nose was attractive was enough to calm her fears about whether or not he could accept the rest of her - sons, mother and mortgage included. And she really wasn't sure if she should even be thinking such thoughts. It was a good thing that she had planned to stay home and watch a movie with Mother tonight. She could use a break from all of her overactive thoughts for a bit.