Chapter 42 - Emergency Contact

The afternoon was quiet. Still a little early for rush hour traffic to set in, it was smooth sailing down the Pacific Coast Highway into Santa Monica. There were no words spoken between them, just the constant rush of white noise filled the car as they were driving towards the city. Tony tried to sit still, tried to keep his heartbeat low and his nerves in check, but there was no denying that if there ever was a moment when a man was justified to freak out a little, then this was it.

"How much longer?" His throat was dry. At least with Pepper, he didn't have to pretend that he wasn't nervous.

"Another 10 minutes."

She didn't really look at him, just pushed a bottle of water into his hands but he couldn't bring himself to drink. His stomach was not cooperating and he wasn't going to risk putting anything into his system at that point. The icy glass in his hands was numbing though and he relished in the chills that it sent down his arms.

She placed her hand on his arm, trying to squeeze some life into him. "Just breath."

"I... I'm not sure if I can do this, Pep."

She did look up to him at that. "You're the strongest person I know, Tony."

He snorted. "No, I'm not. You're the strongest person you know. Hell, Happy is a stronger person than me." She didn't laugh though. Her eyes were on his face and he felt his own facade drop. The need to joke the tension away just faded and left him with nothing more than doubt and anxiety. "I don't even know where to begin with this, Pep. What to do or say or—"

She held on tight to his arm. "I'm right here with you. You're not on your own."

He took a deep breath and let himself fall back against the seat's backrest, slowly blowing out the air, hoping to combat his nausea. The remaining 10 minutes felt more like 30, until Happy finally pulled into the parking lot. He drove them straight to the entrance. This was the time for him to at least pretend that he had this.

They'd had a deal. He had promised he'd be there if she really needed him and he was not gonna back out of it, no matter how much all of this was not what he had wanted. At all. It didn't matter now. What was done, was done. But what he was actually slightly miffed about was that she had the hospital call him. She had always been a straight shooter, no middle man crap. Well, breakups changed people. Or so they said. You'd have to be in a relationship to break up and he was actively trying to avoid those.

Pepper was right behind him as he walked up to the hospital's reception desk, shoulder's pulled back.

"Kelly," he blurted out without as much as a hello.

The nurse made an effort not to roll her eyes at him. He could tell that much. "Good afternoon, Sir. I will need the full name of the person you are looking for."

"Aileen Kelly. She... I got a call. From one of your staff."

"And your relationship to Miss Kelly is?"

He swallowed hard. He wouldn't let his voice waver now. "I'm the father."

The lady looked up at him. "You're Miss Kelly's—"

"No! Fuck's sake, she's pregnant. I'm the baby's father."

Pepper's hands were on him, pulled him back from the reception desk.

"Mr. Stark was put down as Miss Kelly's emergency contact. We got a call from one of your staff about 45 minutes ago and were asked to come to the hospital."

The lady behind the desk pulled her eyebrows up as Pepper was addressing her. "And you would be?"

Pepper didn't even blink, only inclined her head in Tony's direction. "I'm his emergency contact. Nurse Clarissa Kain is the person who contacted us."

Tony wanted to push forward, demand faster answers but Pepper held him back. The lady, nurse Ronda by her name tag, picked up the phone in front of her.

"Yes, I have a Mr. Stark here who—" She frowned then gave a short nod before she hung up the phone just a few seconds later. "Mr. Stark, you will need to go to level 3. Elevators are to your left. The maternity ward will be on the right when you step out of the elevator on level 3."

He felt himself nod and mumbled a low "thank you" before both he and Pepper made their way to the elevators. This whole thing was not agreeing with his stomach. He didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. He hadn't... he hadn't wanted to know either. Kept his distance. Aileen wanted this and there was nothing he could do about it. He'd just have to live with how things were. With what she had decided.

They had barely made it through the door of the maternity wing when nurse Clarissa came towards them.

"Thank you for coming so quickly, Mr. Stark." She nodded at Pepper.

Tony's hands were sweating. "What's going on? Was... was there a problem?"

"If you'd just follow me real quick."

She let them out of the hallway into a private room. For a moment a shallow wave of panic had run down his spine at the thought that Pepper might let him walk in there on his own, but she was just behind, by his side just like she had promised she would be. That didn't mean that he didn't stop in his tracks all the same just as he had entered the room and saw the little baby bed that was pushed into the far corner. Pepper softly pushed him another step into the room so she could close the door behind them.

"Miss Kelly gave birth to a baby boy early this morning. She didn't have a very extended labor period but—"

"Wait, it..." Tony cleared his throat. His voice sounded way too shallow compared to his usually aloof tone. "The... the baby is a boy?"

"Yes, Sir. A healthy little boy."

Tony nodded. "That... okay. That's good." He shook his head. "Not that a girl would have been bad, I'm just saying it—"

"Mr. Stark, unfortunately, there were complications when Miss Kelly was resting after the delivery. She did not respond well to the medication that is routinely administered to assist with blood coagulation and—"

"Let me just..." Tony crossed his arms, mostly trying not to stare at that little crib in the corner, that he was almost entirely sure was empty anyway. Complications was hospital talk for lots of pricey procedures and with his stomach queasy as it was with the situation itself and the mental image of a baby shooting out of places that he didn't really want to picture, he really didn't think he could handle all that medical talk and did he just hear the baby make a noise? He couldn't quite tear his eyes away from the crib. "It's alright. I told her I would... well, that I would help out. I know, all these medical stuff can be expensive. It's not a problem. I assume there are some forms I will have to fill out?"

The nurse cleared her throat. "Yes, Sir. There... there are some forms. However, let me just explain the incident. As one of those clots traveled to her brain and—"

"We really don't need to know... all... all that. Honestly, it's alright." The baby was definitely making a noise, not crying but... babbling? "I don't need the rundown. Let me just sign whatever I have to sign and we just get it over with."

He finally shook himself back to attention and focused on the nurse again who was actually looking at Pepper now before she turned back to him.

He took a deep breath. "Seriously, you don't have to sell me on how thoroughly you worked to justify the price tag. I get that this is all expensive. We're in Santa Monica after all. Just get me those forms. And shouldn't someone look after the baby? It's making a noise. Surely, someone..." Again, he shook his head. That wasn't what he was here for but then he couldn't help but notice that there were no other beds in the room, only the crib and a changing station. "Where... Where is Aileen? That's him, isn't it? Her baby? Why is he here alone?"

"Tony..." Pepper's hand curled around his wrist and squeezed it tightly.

"No, this... this is not okay. I know nothing about babies but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to be left—"

"Tony." Pepper pulled him closer, her voice even and strong, the same tone she'd use on him when he was spacing out in the office. "Aileen had a stroke."

He blinked at her, his brain not quite catching up to what she had just said. "Wh—What?"

She looked at him, searching his face to make sure he was listening. "A blood clot traveled to her brain. That causes a stroke."

Tony's blood felt like icy sludge creeping through his vein. No, that... He turned towards the nurse. "That's... that can't be true. She's... she's way too young to have a stroke! Old people have strokes, it—"

"Mr. Stark, I'm very sorry." Nurse Clarissa was looking right at him. "We know now that Miss Kelly has a genetic disposition that makes her blood more likely to form blood clots."

"Now? You know that now?" His heart was racing and the baby was still making a noise and Aileen she— He shook his head. "Where is she? Is... is she going to be okay?"

"She is currently in the ICU, but I'm afraid her condition is unlikely to improve."

Pepper's hand was on him, squeezing his arm tightly. His first instinct had been to pull away but he couldn't quite bring himself to do that.

"No, that... that's not possible. There must be something you can do, please..."

The look on the nurse's face made his insides cramp. "Unfortunately the stroke left Miss Kelly's brain without oxygen for quite an extensive period before her body started reacting to the medication we gave her. As per protocol, we are currently monitoring her, but I regret to inform you that there is no longer any detectable brain activity."

"Where is her doctor?" Tony tried to keep his breathing in check. "I want to talk to him. This... there has to be something. I don't care what, something that..."

That look of pity on the nurse's face made him livid. "Doctor Harrington is in surgery right now, but I am sure he will talk you through the details as soon as he has finished operating."

He swallowed hard. This was a nightmare. It couldn't be happening. "I want to see her. Please... can I just see her?"

The nurse nodded quietly and gestured for him to step out of the room. Pepper made him stop before he could move. Her eyes were on him, trying to decipher his state of mind.

"You don't have to go alone. I'm right here with you."

He nodded, not sure what to say, then frowned, as he found that he was still staring at the crib in the far corner of the room. The baby was still babbling.

"What... what about him. He... he can't be alone."

The nurse nodded reassuringly. "One of the nurses will have an eye on him."

One of them will have an eye on him... He didn't like the sound of that. What if something happened? What if the baby needed something and nobody was in the room? That... that couldn't be right.

"Tony..." Pepper tugged at his arm, made him look at her. "I can come with you or I can stay here with the baby. It's whatever you want, alright?"

He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted, what he should do.

"You would stay with... with the baby?"

She hesitated, then nodded. "Or stay with you. You're not alone in this."

"Have you ever even held a baby, Potts?"

Her eyebrows moved up a little. "Don't think so. You?"

He huffed, eyes not really focused on her but somewhere on the wall next to her. "I need to see her. Aileen. I have to..."

Pepper squeezed his arm again.

"We'll be right here."


###


Before he even opened his eyes he had a feeling that he wasn't alone in the room. There was a faint ray of light on his face, a dull throbbing pressure in the back of his head. It wasn't really painful but certainly a fairly uncomfortable feeling. The skin on his chest tingled in a weird way but not uncomfortably either. There was a general sense of exhaustion that was lingering in his every cell. His eyelids were so heavy, just the thought of opening them seemed tiring. He must have been out of it for a while. For a moment his muscles tensed up as a mental image of that room flashed in his memory. He had been trapped in there for hours or was it days?

But as he let his body take in more of his surroundings his nerves calmed down. His arms were no longer bound. No cuffs on his wrists. And that warm light on his face... that was daylight. There had been no daylight in that tiny room he had been held in. The vibe around him was completely different as well. He knew that vibe, it felt familiar and safe. The Tower or the Compound maybe. The latter had more bed he was not very high up. He could also make out a constant sniffing coming from the person on his right and was that crying?

The only person he could imagine crying for him was Aunt May and a jolt went through him. He was going to be in so much trouble! Once she was all happy that he was alive she would just kill him. Probably right there in front of Mr. Stark. Not even he would be able to stop Aunt May on the warpath. Those were the consequences of him keeping his whole crime-fighting career from her. It had always been inevitable that it would implode on him at some point.

Actually, this might not even be the worst way for it to all come out to the open. There was a slight chance that punishment would be less severe because he got hurt already. Come to think of it, he hadn't even been in his Spidey-suit! There might even be a chance they could make this about the internship and keep his crime-fighting part-time job out of the whole situation. If Mr. Stark covered for him...

There was only one way to find out. He had to toughen up and get it over with.

Slowly he forced his eyes to open and wow, that room really was bright. It confirmed what he had already known. He was in one of the rooms in the medical wing at the Compound. Could even be the one Mr. Stark had recovered in, unless they all just looked the same.

Good. At least that meant Mr. Stark might have had a chance to calm May down, maybe even deflect from the crime-fighting. He could only hope. She'd probably have Mr. Stark's head, too, if she knew how heavily he was involved!

When he finally saw who was sitting in that chair next to his bed, he wondered for a moment if he was actually still out of it, hallucinating maybe.

"Good morning," she said with a small sniff.

Peter was just too stunned to form any coherent response to that. They had only met - if you could call it that - a couple of times when he had been hiding in Mr. Stark's room right after Siberia. But he certainly recognized the woman sitting in front of him right away. Not that this was an accomplishment on his part in any way. Considering her constant presence in the media as one of the most influential women in the world, the great majority of people would recognize Pepper Potts. Seeing her up close like this made him immediately uncomfortable though.

He still felt pretty numb, his senses were not up to their usual strength but he could still pick up all the emotion pouring out of her. Like he was seeing a part of her soul that was not supposed to lie so bare for him to look at. Just like during that week when Mr. Stark had been in the coma. Just like he had intruded on their privacy then. When he had betrayed his mentor's trust worse than everyone else had.

His pulse was picking up as a flash of guilt pulsed through him. He could not be thinking of that right now. His hand came up quickly, drumming against his temple trying to get those thoughts, those memories of guilt and Mr. Stark's anger out of his head when a sharp pain pierced his brain.

Right. Concussion. Someone had banged the back of his head against the concrete floor quite forcefully.

He let out a sharp hiss and cursed under his breath. Before he could open his eyes again he felt Pepper Potts' hand on his forearm, holding him steady. Then she gently pushed his shoulder back onto the pillow. He didn't resist as she was guiding him back down and only looked up at her as she slowly and ever so lightly combed through his hair down to his temple and very briefly cupping his face with her hand.

"You need to take it slow, okay? You got banged up quite a bit." She was so close, he could see the teardrops caught in her eyelashes. "It's okay. You're safe and you'll be just fine."

Her eyes were red. He realized just now how red her eyes really were. This was not concern for a kidnapped SI intern she'd never met. This was 'crying for hours' - red. Those weren't tears for Peter Parker. There was only one specific person at the Compound that Pepper Potts would cry for like that.

Peter's eyes widened and he made a few incoherent sounds. It was the wave of emotion crashing over him that brought back the memories of what had happened in that underground bunker. The last thing Peter had seen before he had passed out was Mr. Stark engaged in close up combat. Mr. Stark without his suit, without any protection whatsoever jumping into the middle of a fight with gunshots echoing through the room. He remembered now that it had been Steve Rogers bend over him, breaking the chains that bound Peter's body. That it hadn't been Mr. Stark who had taken care of that in the end.

Panic was strangling Peter and twisting his insides. This... No. This couldn't... Mr. Stark, he couldn't... no... No. No. No!

Miss Potts held onto his arm again and tried to calm him, but that didn't help at all. It didn't stop his body from shooting up from the bed. Not that sitting up did anything for him but it was like his body was reacting on instinct. She was here, crying at his bedside. When the only person at the Compound she'd be checking in on would be Mr. Stark.

"He's—oh—oh my god. Mr. Stark is he... is he—" The panic that surged through him, made it hard to even breathe let alone talk.

She pulled him close then, wrapped her arms around him and that broke something else deep in his soul.

"Oh honey, no, he's fine. Shhh." She sat on the side of his bed now, rocking him carefully and holding him close. "He's fine. Tony's okay. He brought you home. He—" She paused for a moment, hugging him even tighter. "He brought you home and you'll be just fine. And he'll be just fine. Everything will be alright."

"He's here? He's okay?" Peter hiccuped, his heart still racing. "He... he didn't get shot?"

"No, he's fine." She swallowed hard but kept rocking him lightly in her arms and there was a vibe of natural familiarity that made him cling to her firmly as she nodded against his shoulder, her voice a low whisper. "He's fine."

The tension fell from Peter's body, his panic ebbed away with every shallow breath he took, but his mind was still racing. He vaguely realized that being comforted by Pepper Potts like this should feel incredibly inappropriate and weird. But for some reason, it didn't. His head was dizzy and maybe it was the exhaustion that had his body just cling to that comfort. Maybe it was that little panic attack, maybe it was just a side effect of that dull throbbing ache at the back of his skull or that stuff he had been shot up with repeatedly by his tormentors. Either way, the result was the same, he was still pretty out of it. So when Miss Potts helped him to lie back down, not a muscle in his body even though about resisting.

"He's... he's really pissed at me, isn't he?"

As he spoke, Miss Potts looked up into his face, her hands still clasping him by the shoulders. She studied him and one of her hands shot up. She didn't touch him, just sort of let her fingers hover over his face, trace the line of his nose and then lightly brushed his hair out of his eyes. She just shook her head, brow creased into a frown.

"No, of course not..." She shook her head again. "He wouldn't be mad at you. This wasn't your fault." A sad smile crossed her face. Her hands slowly glided down his arms, cupped his hands for a moment, then put them down on top of the sheet on either side of him. "How about you get some more rest and I'll go and see what's keeping Tony, alright?"

Peter nodded weakly, worry still locked in his thoughts. "Yeah... yeah, alright."

Mr. Stark had already benched him for being reckless and irresponsible and Peter had no doubt this wouldn't improve his standing a bit. He'd just have to wait and see.


###


The noises around him, the people walked past him in the corridor didn't really faze him. He hardly even registered their presence, his mind just elsewhere, foggy with emotion. How he found his way back to that room was unclear. Those doors all looked the same, but when he opened the one that felt right, he found that Pepper was right where he had left her. She had her back turned to the door, facing the window, eyes on the world outside but was startled when the door of the hospital room clicked shut behind him.

"How... how is she? Is there—" She stopped when she got a good look at his face.

Tony just shook his head, cleared his throat, not that it made his voice any stronger. "The... erm... the doctor talked me through what happened, what... what will happen now. There's—" He shook his head again, swallowed hard. "They are monitoring for brain waives... have been ever since... ever since the stroke but... but there's nothing."

"I'm so sorry, Tony."

"I've found a few names online. Experts in the field. We... I'll have to call people. Find someone, maybe... I mean just because these people here, the people who let this happen... just because they don't know what—"

"We can call people. If... if you want me to look into that, I'll get right on that."

He nodded, ran a hand roughly through his hair. There had to be something. Just something that he could do.

Pepper took a couple of steps towards him but stopped herself as Tony's eyes fell down to the little bundle in her arms. He could almost feel her eyes right on him, studying him, waiting for what he'd do, where this would be going.

She was waiting for him to bolt and he wanted to do just that. This... none of this was on him. This wasn't what he had wanted. He hadn't chosen this. He had never had plans for anything like this. Plans to take Aileen on that yacht he had recently bought, sure. Plans to bribe someone for last-minute tickets to Coachella because she'd never been, yeah. But this...

"Do you want to hold him?"

Tony bit his lip, still a few steps away from her. "I don't think they'll give us a refund if I break him..."

Pepper did give him a look, then got closer. She carefully transferred the bundle to him with quick instructions on how to support the baby's head as she cushioned it in the crook of his arm. There was a tremor in Tony's muscles. Maybe it had been there this whole time and he only noticed now. Maybe just the thought of how much he could do wrong made his arms shake. All the ways he could damage this little guy with the smallest mistake.

"Tony..." He didn't look up at Pepper's voice, his eyes on the little boy's face who was just lying there, calm and quiet, his big eyes just staring up in the air. Up at him maybe. "I know this isn't what you wanted and you still have options here. If you don't want this, then we'll look for another way. This is still your choice."

He nodded. "I know... I know that."

She stood close to him, just in front of him. "He looks like you, don't you think?"

Her hand came to rest on the little guy's chest, a finger playing with the little hand, tracing his palm until the mini fingers grabbed a hold of Pepper's index finger. That kid was all eyes, a little nose, thin lips.

Tony shook his head. "I think he looks like Aileen. His eyes are so blue. Just like hers."

The boy's tiny fist was still curled around Pepper's finger, holding on to her. She looked up at Tony, the corner of her mouth pulled up a bit.

"All babies have blue eyes, Tony."

His eyebrows shot up. "They do?"

"Well, most of them." She shrugged. "Has something to do with the low melanin levels after birth. They respond to light, get darker over time."

He couldn't help but blow out a somewhat humorous huff. "How do you even know that? Have you been researching babies for the last hour?"

There was a light red flush creeping into her face. "Maybe." Her other hand cupped the baby's face, her thumb lightly tracing the little eyebrow. "It's the shape though. His eyes. Round and big. Just like yours."

He snorted. "All babies' eyes are big and round, Pep. Like little puppies to make them look all cute and adorable. Nature's way of making sure their parents don't abandon them." He sighed, his arms weighing the baby boy from side to side almost on instinct as he studied him. "We could just try this, right? See how things work out? It... it can't be that hard, right? Lots of people do this."

She bit her lip, then took a deep breath. "Tony, this can't be a trial run. This is a little person. He needs... he needs a home. Love and care. Stability." Her hand left the boy's face and settle on Tony's arm instead. When he looked up at her, he found her eyes waiting for him. "It's not just about what you want, it's about what this little guy needs to be happy and safe. If you want to do this then you need to commit. You don't need a lecture from me on absentee fathers. You can't outsource a kid. You can't get bored with this. It's long days, sleepless nights."

He gave her a look not far from an eye roll. "I'm a pro at long days and sleepless nights, Pepper. Didn't think you'd need a reminder of that."

Pepper didn't laugh though, kept her expression sincere. "It's poopy diapers and snot and vomit and all that." She bit her lip, their eyes still locked. "He's not a puppy. It'd be hard and nerve-racking at times and you can't lock yourself away in the workshop over it. He's not going to be this cute all the time."

Tony looked down at the little boy at that, his eyes round and wide, then closing as his tiny mouth stretched open in a gigantic yawn.

Pepper blew out a little laugh. "See, he's already contradicting me."

Tony's heart was beating in his throat. He shouldn't even consider this. He couldn't even take care of himself. Wouldn't make it from one day to the next without Pepper. How was he ever going to take responsibility for someone else? Someone as tiny and helpless at this.

"I shouldn't do this." His voice was low and rough. "I'm not cut out to be a father. I'm not... that's not me. You're... you're right, I'm not cut out for this. He deserves something better. Someplace safe and loving and—"

"No, that's not... Tony, that's not what I was trying to say." She had pulled herself closer, stood right by his side now, her face close enough that she could lean against him if that was something that she'd do. "I think you can do this. In fact I think you could be great at this. You are great at every challenge you decided to take on but you will have to decide to really take it on. This... this just sort of fell into your lap an hour ago. The... the possibility that this might be permanent. You have a choice to make, you can't just half-ass it and wait to see where it goes."

He snorted. "You think I'd be great at this? At looking after someone that isn't me when I can't even look after myself?"

She frowned, her eyes radiating a sense of sadness that he had to look away from. "I do. I know you like to pass yourself off as an asshole. It makes it so much easier to keep people at a distance for someone like you. Your problem has always been that you care too much and not too little. And I'm here... I'm here for you, to support you if you want to do this."

His eyes stung. He had the urge to rub a hand across his face, but he didn't dare to loosen his hold on the little boy in his arms. He was trembling, his body shaking. Pepper's arms wrapped around him, steadied him, helped him to literally keep that bundle safely cradled in his arms. Her head came to rest on his shoulder and he couldn't stop the tears as much as he tried. His head bowed down, pressed into Pepper's hair, muffling the desperate noises he couldn't keep bottled up any longer.

"I'm so sorry, Tony." Her voice was low as she stood by his side, one arm on his back, the other holding back the tremors in his arm. "I'm so, so sorry."

He could only nod along as she kept talking, comforting what felt like both of them.


###


(author's note: First of all, thanks as always for reading and all the comments!

Since this chapter had gotten a little long, I decided to split it up in two parts. I'm polishing that 2nd one up right now and will post that later tonight, a quick little goodie after the confusion with chapter 37. ;)

For those of you, who missed it, I totally fucked up the other day and forgot to copy/paste a part of chapter 37 (Brooklyn) into AO3. Peter's POV from that confrontation is missing and... well... #oops

It's super embarrassing and I still can't quite believe that this actually happened but first I want to thank the dear Leandrazer for asking if maybe they had missed part of the confrontation between the Rogues and Peter cause they only remembered Tony stepping in. Maybe I should have noticed when a couple of people said they would have loved for Peter to go harder on Rogers, but you know... lol. *facepalm*

So, that part of the fight was originally supposed to be the end of chapter 36, which is why on my hard drive that's where it still is. I decided to move that POV to chapter 37 but when I published 37 I forgot to go back to 36, copy the end and paste it at the beginning of the next chapter, because either I had a brain freeze or it was like 2 am and I was just too giddy to get it out that I completely forgot.

Soooo, yeeeeah... I added Peter's missing POV at the beginning of chapter 37, where it was supposed to be and if you want to check it out you should. :P

Sorry about the confusion, guys.)