Being the mechanic he was, Tony rarely hired others' services to fix the stuff he owned. He should be able to fix everything in his life by himself. But there were some things that were too precious to gamble with, like his mom's piano. So, here he was, in the living room, watching the tuner he had hired closely. The guy didn't seem to be happy about this, though Tony couldn't tell if it was because he was being intrusive, or because he was… well, who he was now. The idiot who had created Ultron. Wherever he went these days, he received dirty, accusing glances instead of autograph requests. Cute fan mails from kids had been replaced with death threats. Not to mention that the Stark shares had hit an all-time low. Pepper wasn't happy. They had talked only once since Ultron, very briefly, but it had been enough for Tony to realize that Pepper was blaming him. She had said she would come to New York, once she cleaned up the financial mess he had caused—it would take longer than usual, for her CTO was indefinitely unavailable—and Tony assumed it would be to break up with him, not to hear his apologies.
He was surprised when he heard the doorbell, not expecting anyone else today. "FRIDAY?"
"It's Captain Rogers, boss."
What the hell? What the hell was Rogers thinking, coming here? He rushed to the front door, hoping to shoo him away before Ana saw him.
"Hello, Tony," he said when he opened the door. "I know you told me this place was off-limits, but… May I?"
He moved aside to let him pass, because what else was he to do, really?
There were two portraits in the entryway; portraits of his mom and dad. He had pictures of his dad everywhere; in almost every office, workshop and residence he owned. But this was the only picture of his mom. At least the only one on display. Of course, even as a little kid, this detail hadn't escaped Ana's notice. She had once asked him if he loved his dad more than he loved his mom, because there were no pictures of her. Tony had been rendered speechless, because how could you explain to a three-year-old that it was actually the other way around? That you hid your mom's pictures because they were too painful to look at?
Rogers was studying these portraits now. "This is not an art exhibition, Cap," he said impatiently. "This is my home. This is where my daughter is supposed to feel safe."
"And she doesn't feel safe around me…"
"Can you blame her?"
"I really wish you'd let me talk to her, Tony."
"Oh, boy… You want that missile in your face, don't you?" he asked, half-serious, half-joking. More serious than joking.
"I didn't know it was JARVIS you were trying to put into the Cradle, Tony. You'd said he was dead…"
Tony gritted his teeth angrily. He was mourning JARVIS, too. "All you had to do was to give us a minute to explain!"
"Well, you were acting a bit secretive…"
"You showed up with the Maximoff twins, without a heads-up! I wasn't sure if I should share our plans with them!"
"Tony, please… Let's not do this. I know I made a mistake that night. I let my fear get the best of me. I'd take it back if I could. But I can't."
"Why are you here, Cap?"
"The team has moved to the new compound in Upstate. I thought you might want to know."
God, couldn't he have just called? But then, Rogers was the textbook definition of "old-school," and he probably thought he was doing a courtesy by showing up in person. "I'm not your boss. You're not obliged to report to me."
"No, but I believe you have a right to know what's going on. Thor's gone."
"To Asgard?"
"I don't know. He said the Mind Stone was the fourth Infinity Stone that has reemerged. He thinks someone's playing a game involving them, so he's going to investigate. He trusts Vision with the Mind Stone, though."
The tuner appeared, and said the job was done. Tony tipped him generously, and saw him to the door. Then he returned to Steve. "Any word from Banner?"
"Unfortunately, no."
"Is there anything else?"
"No."
"We're done here, then. No offense, but you have to go."
"Of course. None taken. Goodbye, Tony. I hope you change your mind about this retirement. I miss you." He walked out of the house. Tony was making his way to the living room when he bumped into Ana upon turning around the corner. And, God, the look on her face…
They said there were five stages of grief. Tony said it was bullshit. When his parents had died, Tony had skipped the denial stage. He was too much of a realist not to. There was no bargaining either, because he didn't believe in the existence of any entity he could bargain with. There was only anger and depression. Had the acceptance part ever come? Even today, he couldn't be sure. Yeah, after 39 days of self-pity, Ana had come into his life, and given him a very compelling reason to move on. And he had found some sort of closure after learning the truth about his dad's past. But had he accepted their deaths? He doubted it.
It wasn't much different for Ana either. The only difference was her anger was a lot more tranquil, more calculated, which was a lot more frightening than the desultory kind. She had been bottling it up, for his sake, but for how long?
"The only thing he misses is having a personal punching bag around," she sneered. "Too bad I took that from him."
Was it true? Had Tony really been a punching bag this whole time, and too blind to see it? Or, was this the anger speaking?
Nonetheless, Tony pulled her into his arms. Despite all that visible anger, she seemed so fragile, so delicate that he feared even one wrong move would shatter her into a million pieces. His darling daughter was going through hell, and Tony had no idea how to pull her out of there. He couldn't punish those who had put her in there either, because he had to think of the greater good. The Avengers had turned from a group of trusted friends to a necessary evil he had to brook because the world still needed them. His hands were tied.
"You need something, baby girl?"
"Well, I need a drink, but you won't give it to me, so…"
Contrary to popular belief, the reason Tony was rarely seen in public these days wasn't because he was ashamed. It was because Ana snuck into the wine cellar and drink herself to sleep every time he left the house. He had once found her lying unconscious on the floor, with a broken bottle in her hand, and he had felt like all the life was being sucked out of him until she had stirred. Sometimes she attempted to sneak into the cellar while he was asleep as well, but now FRIDAY woke him up if that happened.
"Honey, we talked about this. It's a bad habit to pick up."
"Why? It helped you."
"Come on, let's see if I can still play the piano." He led her to the living room, and they sat down at the piano together. He couldn't remember when was the last time he had played. Ana wasn't very good at playing herself—she had inherited her grandmother's looks, but not her talent in music—but she liked watching him play. And he would do anything just to see her smile.
He hesitated for a second. Did Ana and JARVIS have a special song? Probably not, but who knew? Not wanting to take any risks, he decided to become a total egomaniac and started playing Iron Man by Black Sabbath, which was his song.
She let out a dry chuckle, and rested her head against his shoulder. Pleased, he smiled.
"So, they're called the Infinity Stones, then," said Ana all of a sudden.
"What?" He was confused, but he let his fingers continue to play.
"The connection between the Tesseract, the Scepter, and whatever was there during the London attack…"
"Don't worry about that now, you just focus on healing."
"I'm never going to heal, so what's the point? I might as well make myself somewhat useful."
He stopped playing, and waited for a moment until the echo of the last note died out. "Ana…"
"I wonder what the fourth one is…"
"No idea. But Thor said there're six of them."
"This proves that I was right."
"About what?"
"About the Avengers. About everyone. This is a chess game, not a war. And you can't win a chess match with soldiers. Especially if they keep gluing your pieces to the board. Think about it, Dad! We could've created Ultron the right way, if we'd had more than 3 days! If we hadn't had to go behind the team's back!"
Well, it would be a lie if he said he didn't think the Earth still needed Ultron, even after everything that had happened. He hadn't thought Ana would agree, but then, she was too much of a realist, too.
She went on, "I'm onto something, Dad. Something so powerful that it scared even Ultron. I don't know what it is, but I can feel it."
"What if it scared me, too?"
"Why? Whatever it is, it's going to be your power as well. What? You think I'm not going to share it with you?"
Before he could reply, his phone pinged in his pocket. It was a text, from Pepper. She was coming here tomorrow. He and Ana exchanged looks, then she snuggled closer to him. Tony rested his chin on the top of her head. She was dreading Pepper's return as much as he was.
…
That night, Tony couldn't sleep at all. He even thought of driving to the airport and waiting for Pepper there, but then decided against it. It wouldn't help his case. Around 9 AM, Pepper's car came into view. Tony asked FRIDAY about Ana, and got the reply that she was anxiously pacing up and down in her room. She wanted them to have some time in private first, then. The car stopped. Pepper emerged. She was gorgeous as always. Angry, but gorgeous.
Tony didn't wait for her to knock. He opened the front door, and stood there until she entered.
"Hey, Ms. Potts."
She said nothing. Just stared with cold, accusing eyes. She might not be here to hear him out, but this was his only chance to apologize. He wanted to use it well.
He closed the door, and they went to do the living room. "Why don't we… take a seat?"
She sat down on an armchair, and he, across from her.
"I'm sorry, Pep. I screwed up. Bad. Ana keeps saying the Maximoff girl made me do it, but that's no excuse. I wanted to protect the world, so I took a risk. A risk I shouldn't have taken. People died because of me. Casualties could've been higher, of course, but people died nevertheless."
She was still silent.
"Please say something."
"What do you want me to say, Tony? There's nothing to say. You'd promised me you'd let Ultron go, but you couldn't, could you? You can't stop. You just can't! Maybe it's your fault, maybe not. I don't know. All I know is what it does to me."
"I know. I know. That's why my priorities have changed. This family is all that matters now. No more Avenging."
"Until something comes up again. First, it was the aliens. Then, HYDRA… Who knows what's next?"
"R—Rhodey, he… He joined… He's a member of the team now. I'm not… What I'm saying is, there's no need for me anymore." He was now so scared that he was losing his ability to speak coherently.
"I love you, Tony. And I know you love me. I thought… I thought we could come over any hardship together, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe love is just not enough. I need time to decide. And some distance."
And she had said it. She had said what Tony had been dreading to hear. "Pepper, please… I need you."
"I'll go see Ana now," she muttered, without even looking at him, and went upstairs.
He didn't know how much time passed as he sat there, staring at the wall, his future without Pepper stretching before him, dark and hollow, but at some point, he heard the thundering footsteps. Pepper was hastily descending the stairs, and Ana was right behind her. Shit. Had they had a fight? Maybe Pepper was pissed because Ana still defended him. Tony stood up, ready to intervene. Just because he had screwed up his relationship with Pepper didn't mean Ana had to do the same.
"Pepper, wait!" Ana cried. "Please, don't go! We need you here! I need you!"
They went past him, and out into the front yard. "Pepper, please!" Ana cried, this time even louder, as Pepper kept striding towards the car. "JARVIS is gone, the whole world hates Dad, I don't know what to do anymore! Please, don't leave us!"
Pepper opened the driver's side door.
"MOM!"
Only then, Pepper paused, and turned to Ana. Tony held his breath. Ana was probably doing the same.
"I'm sorry, Ana. I can't help you." Pepper climbed into the car, and a few seconds later, sped away. Ana started running after her, still begging her to stay.
Don't do this, Pep, he thought. Do whatever you want to me, I deserve it, but don't do this to my daughter. Just turn the car around. Come on.
Pepper didn't turn the car around. Ana collapsed on the empty road, shaking with loud sobs that were echoing in the neighborhood.
Tony went to her, and kneeled. "Baby girl?"
"She just left… I told her I needed her, and she just left."
"She's angry with me, not you."
"It doesn't matter anymore."
He put an arm around her waist. "Come on, let's get inside."
She remained still.
"Honey, you can't sit on the road. Come on." He hoisted her up, and she leaned against him. Her legs were shaking. But he managed to take her back into the mansion, and put her on the couch. He seated himself, too, and pulled her to his chest. Now she could cry as much as she wanted.
"I'm sorry, Dad. You're the one who needs comforting right now."
"It's okay. I'm being comforted." He kissed the top of her head.
"What are we going to do?"
"What we always do. We'll take good care of each other." And hopefully, in the meantime, Pepper would forgive him.
"I can't stay here forever. I should get back to work soon. I have responsibilities."
A thought occurred to him. "Is that what you and Pepper talked about?"
"I said I wanted to move my office to another HQ. I can't even bear the sight of the tower anymore. But Pepper said if I could forgive you for JARVIS' death so easily, the tower shouldn't be a problem either. She said I was being a hypocrite."
"I'm sure she didn't mean it." Tony had to believe she hadn't. Ana was now his only light in the darkness ahead, but she was fading. The world was punishing him for his stupidity, but they were punishing Ana for simply being a supportive daughter. The brighter she was trying to burn for him, the harder they smothered her.
…
After Pepper's departure, both Tony and Ana hit the rock bottom. A poignant silence fell over the mansion after all words of comfort were exchanged, for there was nothing else to say, and they suffered together in companionable silence. FRIDAY was more chatty than her humans, even though she spoke only when necessary. Tony tried to set a good example for Ana at first, but whenever the break-up blues became too much, he resorted to his good old friend, Scotch. If Ana caught him, she wouldn't call him a hypocrite, nor would she attempt to get drunk herself as a retaliation. Her superpower was finding a way to justify everything he did, which was something Tony didn't deserve. Now he came to think of it, he didn't deserve anything good in his life. He didn't deserve to be a billionaire. Hell, he didn't deserve to be a genius. He didn't deserve to be a father.
And he certainly didn't deserve Pepper.
But this dark period came to an end when one day FRIDAY mentioned an alien outbreak. Inhumans were emerging all around the world. Which was personal for the Starks, because Skye was an Inhuman, too. And Ana was eagerly hoping for someone with the power to see the future. Apparently that was JARVIS' idea. There had been one, but she was dead now, killed by Skye's mom before Ana could meet her. So, Tony was once again reminded of why the world needed him and his resources, whether he was worthy of them or not, and decided to start pulling his shit together.
He knew traditional therapy methods wouldn't work for him and his daughter, so he came up with an idea. Something that wouldn't undo the traumas of the past, but could change the way the mind perceived them by hijacking the hippocampus. A trick, really, but Ana decided to help. At this point, she was willing to try anything to assuage the pain. Besides, for them, tinkering itself was a form of therapy, and an effective one at that. So, that was what they did for a time, tinkering away in his dad's old workshop, until he received a call from Damage Control. He needed to go to DC for a meeting. He didn't want to, but he assumed this had something to do with the Inhuman Outbreak, and Ana promised that she would be okay, so he went.
…
It was as he had feared. Tony knew the world was going to change after Ultron, but even he hadn't anticipated the change to occur so fast. The alien substance that triggered the dormant gene in Inhumans had been released into the ocean, and now, fish oil pills gave these clueless people random superpowers. The government was trying to take the situation under control through ATCU, Damage Control was dealing with the most incidents that were caused by newly-turned Inhumans who couldn't control their powers yet, and SHIELD was doing their best to help from the shadows, though no one openly spoke about the last one. Tony knew Ultron was what had started the increasing fear and paranoia among the public, but none of the fellows in DC told that to his face either.
When he returned home, the first thing he noticed was the unfamiliar black SUV in the driveway.
"Do you think I could kill Thor?" he heard Ana ask as he entered the house. She sounded drunk, but that was hardly a surprise.
Another girl said, "Don't be so silly, he'd make a human smoothie out of you, with that hammer of his."
"Or, you, know, with his bare hands…" The third girl had a British accent.
"I wish I were an Inhuman, too," Ana said. "With lightning powers, like your boyfriend—"
"Lincoln is not my—"
"Whatever. If I had lightning, I'd use it on Thor. Give him a taste of his own medicine."
The voices were coming from the living room, so he headed there. Indeed, he found Ana with her two friends: One was Skye, the other, Jemma Simmons, he assumed. There were empty bottles, soda cans, and pizza boxes scattered around. Now that he thought about it, Ana had never brought friends home before. Mostly because she didn't have any friends. But it was a good thing they had come.
"Good evening, ladies," he started. "Am I interrupting anything?"
Ana's face broke into a precious smile. "DAD!" she squealed, and got on her feet. She was coming to him, but she tripped over the carpet, and was almost going to hit his head on a coffee table. Skye pushed it out of the way with a shockwave from her hand, smashing the antique Ming dynasty vase on it.
"Oops! Sorry, that looked expensive." Skye was drunk, too.
"No worries, just watch your feet until I clean it up." He made Ana sit back down, then shook Skye's hand. "You must be Skye."
"It's actually Daisy now. Daisy Johnson."
"It's the name her father gave her," Ana added. "Isn't that adorable?"
The other girl—this one was sober, thankfully—stood up and extended her hand politely. "Jemma Simmons. Nice to meet you, Mr. Stark."
"Tony," he corrected her.
Ana pulled him to sit down beside her, giggling. Weird, because she wasn't usually a happy drunk. "Welcome back, Dad. We were just… What were we doing?"
"You were talking about killing Thor," replied Daisy.
"Really? I thought we were comparing moms."
Jemma sighed patiently. It couldn't have been fun, to be the only sober person in the room. "You've already done that. Twice."
"Yeah, but Jiaying was such a bitch… She tried to kill Daisy because Daisy refused to help her kill everyone who wasn't Inhuman. Wow, come to think of it, she's worse than Pepper…"
Daisy nodded. "Yeah, I win this round."
"Daisy, maybe we should get back to the base," Jemma suggested.
"What's the rush?" Tony asked. "Ana could use some company."
"We'd love to, sir, but it's a busy time for us." She picked Daisy up.
Ana waved at them. "It was nice seeing you guys. Say hi to everyone for me."
Tony decided to see them to the door. He had seen that unmistakable look in their eyes, the "You're the son of a bitch who created Ultron" look, and he wanted to have a few words with them, for Ana's sake. "Look," he started, mostly looking at Jemma, because Daisy was probably not going to remember this conversation. "What happened in Sokovia was on me. The truth is, Ana warned me against Ultron, but I didn't listen. And I can be very convincing. None of it is her fault."
Ana had lost JARVIS and Pepper because of him. He didn't want her to lose her only friends, too.
"Understood, sir," Jemma said curtly, and led her friend away.
Tony returned to the living room. Ana was still smiling. "Sorry. I know I wasn't supposed to drink."
He plopped himself down beside her again, and pulled her closer. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah."
"Then it's okay. For this one time."
"You're the best dad ever."
He kissed the top of her head. It was unbelievable that she could forgive him so easily, but he was also grateful for it. He couldn't live with himself if she blamed him for JARVIS' death.
"Dad?"
"Mm?"
"You're pretty awesome."
"Thanks."
"No, seriously. I know I was an oopsie, but you never gave me a reason to feel like one. You're a natural. I mean, I know it's biologically impossible, but if I found an oopsie on my doorstep, I'd hate that little brat for the rest of my life."
Yeah, Tony knew he was never getting any grandkids. He didn't mind. Grandkids would be cool, of course, if they would bring Ana joy as well, but that wasn't the case. "It's okay. Not everybody has to become a parent. It's an optional quest."
"Maybe JARVIS and I would've built these robot babies. They would be cute… way less messy than human ones. Yeah, we should've built an army of them, and we should've taken over the world. No one would've been able to hurt us, then."
Her drunk ramblings were both sad and hilarious at the same time. More sad than hilarious. "World domination? Uh-huh."
"Maybe you and I should take over the world? Before it's too late?"
To be honest, sometimes people were so stupid that the idea was tempting. "Come on, kid, it's bedtime."
He scooped her into his arms, carried her to her room, and tucked her in. "Sleep well when you can, because you're going to wake up with one hell of a headache in the morning."
"I don't want to sleep…"
"Why not?"
"What if I dream of JARVIS?"
Tony didn't know what to say to that, so he just stroked her hair, and remained seated on the edge of the bed until she fell asleep.
