February 17th 2020
Chapter 48
Their Careers to Seek
If it was up to her, she'd never have to put her own burdens on him. He welcomed them freely, she knew, but then it would just put worry in him she'd rather he didn't have to feel. She sought to protect him more than she cared for her own troubles. But after a couple days, it did get to feel like Nadine's patch – while it still held overall – had encountered a couple holes, punching through and seeking to expand. She'd come to the bookstore that afternoon because she'd finally told herself something had to be done, and she needed to talk to him. Out here at least, she had a shot at dealing with everything without bringing it back home to Sam.
"I just… I've been thinking about how it could still be another year, or more, before I get a teaching post, and it all spiraled… a bit…" Spiraled a lot, Lucas thought, reaching across the table, nudging her fingers where they sat, until he could slip his own underneath and hold her hand. It made her smile, just a little for now, but a start.
He'd actually been expecting this. A while ago, she had made a similar statement, expressing the chance that it could take time before she got something. She'd had that sort of smile about her that just gave off something he would describe as 'I'm consciously optimistic, but subconsciously terrified.' It was really only a matter of time before the ball dropped.
"Okay," he simply replied, showing that he was paying attention to her but also that he was leaving the floor to her, to keep talking.
"You know, the part that pisses me off right now is I was doing fine, and then the thing that pulled me down again is… I overheard a conversation, at the theater. They haven't announced it yet, and no one's supposed to know, but… my mother's getting the part she auditioned for."
"That's great," Lucas smiled.
"It is," Maya agreed, nodding along. "I had to just press my mouth shut and get back to my office without anyone seeing or hearing me before I could even let it out… as quiet as possible."
"Yeah," he chuckled, imagining her back there.
"I was so happy for her, I am, but then it's like I let down my defenses and… here we are. I should just be happy for her, how she's just living her dream… finally… instead of letting myself wonder if it would take this long for me, too." There it was.
"It's not though…"
"No, maybe not. But maybe it'll end up that it won't happen at all, that I'll just do something else. And I know… I know that's not a bad thing, that it would be complaining about something I shouldn't have any space to complain in, and I'm really not."
"It's your dream," Lucas shook his head. "You get to decide how you feel about it."
"Got a few of those, don't I?" she looked at him, her fingers tapping at the hand that held hers.
He knew those dreams very well, yes. They were the ones she shared with him. And because these were their dreams, it could complicate things, especially for her. He knew how much the life she'd created for herself since she'd moved to Texas meant so much to her, to the point where those challenges that came along, like this question over her eventual job, would get to feel so much bigger out of nowhere, and there was nothing she could do for it except to work her way out. No quick fixes, just a lot of personal searching. She couldn't bear the thought of it all falling apart around her.
"For better or for worse," he nodded, which tugged a snort out of her.
"Good point," Maya agreed. As silence drew on for a few seconds, it felt as though he could see her rearrange a few things in her head, and what it came down to was something along the line of 'here I have one thing I only have partial control over, and here's something I have nearly total control over.' She pulled out her phone now, setting it on the table between them and opening up her calendar, tapping the arrow to turn to the next month a few times. February, March, April… Her finger stalled before continuing, like this was a good start. "What do you think? Spring? Summer? Fall? Winter?"
"Great seasons, all of them," he nodded, unsure where she was going at first, but she held up her hand again, showing her ring. For the wedding. She wanted to pick a date. It made him smile, and he resettled in his chair, looking at the calendar. "Can I just see…" he pointed to the phone, and she nodded, so he picked it up, flipping through the months without her being able to see.
"What are you doing?" she asked, curiosity rising.
"Checking to see what day of the week," he held up a finger, as though he hadn't gotten there already and found that the answer was 'Sunday.' Seeing as she looked this close to pouncing, he handed her back the phone. Going by the way she smiled, he figured she'd been thinking the same thing.
"I was kind of looking forward to having two anniversaries to celebrate, but I could do with this," she nodded. "Like a mega anniversary," her eyes sparked.
"Sounds good," Lucas laughed.
"Although… with you being in school and all, midway through a semester, it might not be the best excuse to cut class because you have to go on your honeymoon…" she pointed out. "And we are definitely having one of those."
"No argument there. Alright, so… summer?"
"Summer," she nodded. The calendar was tap-tap-tapped back a few months away from November. "June, July, August…"
"Anything calling to you in particular?" She considered this, cycling through those months several times. "Deep concentration," he whispered.
"I will shush you," she informed him without looking up. He just smiled to himself, saying nothing. Maybe they hadn't fixed much, but they'd moved the issue just far enough that it couldn't touch her anymore, and to see her uplifted again was all he could ask for.
Now, she paused in her browsing, and considered, and finally highlighted one day before setting the phone down again and turning it for him to look.
"What do you think?" she asked, sitting up expectantly.
"I think… that when I go back upstairs, I'm going to have to tell Maeve I'll be needing the weekend of July 11th off… and a bit more after that," he grinned, more so for the smile on her face. He couldn't think about much else than the notion that he would be marrying the girl he loved in a matter of six months. Everything he knew said that this wasn't a whole lot of time, but then if Sophie and Chiara could pull off a wonderful day like they did with so little time… then they could make six months work.
"Please do that, yes," she replied, and oh how her face looked bright and alive in that moment, like she could barely contain herself, like she wanted to pick up a pencil and draw…
"I really want to kiss you right now," he informed her. She took a look around the semi-populated café before turning back to him.
"I think we can make that happen," she decided.
"Yeah?" he smiled, standing as she stood and walking around to pull her into his arms. It would have to be something more than a quick peck and far less than anything inappropriate, but what could he say? They had a year, a month, and a day… "I love you," he kept her locked in his arms a moment more.
"I love you, too," she returned, with that smile so strong on her now that nothing and no one could crack it. "Okay…" she breathed out as they pulled away, like she was feeling hot all of a sudden. "Well. I should go," she told him, laughing after a beat. She felt at her cheeks like they might be warm. "See you at home?"
"Pizza?"
"Oh, so much." She picked up her cup and moved to head out, then, a few steps later, turned back and returned for one more kiss. "You know what that one's for," she tipped her head.
"I do," he promised. Thanks for getting me out of my own head.
He watched her go for real this time before taking his cup and heading back upstairs to his floor. He must have had his emotions on his face, too, going by the way his co-workers gave him curious looks.
"What did you do on your break?" Maeve whispered at him when he stopped to throw out his now empty cup. The way she said it suggested she believed he might have done some things he really shouldn't have been doing at his place of employment.
"Uh, well," he looked at her, briefly smiling to himself as he knew he was about to keep his promise to Maya. "I need to put in for some time off in July. Actually, you're going to need some, too, and whoever's working Saturdays by then…" Maeve looked briefly confused at this statement, but then she put it all together.
"Picked a date?"
"July 11th," he nodded, and he didn't know how those two words could make him so happy, but he swore he felt like he'd meet every single living being, human or dog, stranger or friend, in the near future and inform them that he was getting married on that day. That was how happy it made him. "Maybe give me a minute before I talk to customers…"
"I'll give you ten, you're kind of wired right now," Maeve teased, moving past him to greet a woman coming off the escalator.
Having picked a date, he soon came to realize, was one big weight off their shoulders, yes, but only in the way that, by removing that weight, they had then allowed a deluge of new paths to open ahead of them. It wasn't just a date, it was a deadline. All those things to do… He already knew that as soon as he told his mother about this she would be all over the place, turning into Hyperspeed Mel, who would blow through all these preparations like a human tornado. Maybe we should tell her yet… a week or two…
"If you want to sneak away to the section with all the wedding books, I'll cover you," Julia appeared at the counter a little while later, as he was looking something up on the computer. "It's as though your face relaxed but you're still just smiling," she told him. He laughed.
"Maeve told you?"
"Oh, I'm not talking to her," Julia declared, and only for knowing her better than the common stranger did he know this was said as a joke. Despite their 'spat' over the mixer, they were actually something close to best friends. "No, Tanner's girl works down in the café," she explained, which was as much of an explanation as Lucas needed for how the information had travelled.
"Here I thought this store was huge," he smiled.
"Not when it comes to anything like this," Julia assured him. It wasn't like it was a secret that he was engaged at the moment, but clearly he and Maya weren't the only ones to be excited at the prospect of an actual date being chosen.
"Your invitation will be on its way as soon as there's one to send," Lucas assured her.
"It better be!" she called back, carrying on with her work.
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
