After slaving away in the kitchen for the last two fucking hours, everything was done. My kitchen table looked like something out of a magazine. The penthouse was spotless. Everything was perfect. It had to be. Tonight was a crucial night in fixing a family. Possibly fixing a family. My hopes were high, but on the off chance something went wrong, I needed to be realistic. My own estranged family reunion was an absolute shitstorm. But the difference is, the family members reuniting actually want to see each other. Not for petty reasons. Not to carry out a revenge plot. But for simple ones. For love. And I couldn't wait to see how this played out.
However, I wish I could say Ritsu had my level of calm. I don't think that poor boy knew the word calm if it pimp slapped him. I've never seen him like this. Something tells me I could compliment his shoes and he'd stab me. Although, Ritsu knew better. He wouldn't actually stab me. He's not that reckless. Regardless, I could somewhat understand why he'd be so freaked out. It made me feel fortunate that I never had to go through something like this. My family has always been close and nothing could ever tear it apart (except for one well placed bitch, but that's here nor there).
"Ritsu?" I gave him a little nudge, wiping his sweat on a kitchen towel, "Are you ok?"
"I'm not sure," Ritsu shook, "I don't know what to do. What if she says she never wants to see me after this? I don't think I can handle that kind of rejection, Rei."
"Hey, hey, hey," I sat him down before he started hyperventilating, "Don't think like that. What if she says she actively wants to be a part of your life again? What if she doesn't reject you at all? At the end of the day, you're still her son, Ritsu. That's not going to change. You'll be ok. I'll be right here every step of the way."
"Promise…?"
I laced my fingers between his, "I promise. And if tonight does go horribly wrong, you, me, ramen shop, and we'll skip school tomorrow for Hakone."
Ritsu pulled me into his lap and held me tight, "Have I ever mentioned how much I fucking love you, Reila?"
"Maybe once or twice," I nestled my head in his chest, "I love you, too."
Knock, knock.
"Oh, God…" Dammit. Just as I got him to calm down, "Is that her? Or is that your building manager?"
"It's probably her," I got up from Ritsu's lap and gave him one last kiss, "It's going to be ok. If it doesn't go well, then at least you'll know. Now, I'm going to go get the door. You think you can mellow out without me?"
"I can try."
"That's the spirit," I walked over to the door, grabbing my knife off the end table in the living room on my way through.
"Put it down, Rei," Ritsu called out to me, "If it is her, I don't want you scaring her away."
"Fine," I left my knife on the table. He did make a good point, though. We got her this far. We really shouldn't be scaring her off. I stood on my toes and checked the peephole. Because these days, we really couldn't be too careful. Sure enough, I saw a woman standing on the other side of the door. That's not the building manager. Slowly, but surely, I opened the door, "Hi."
"Hello…" she spoke softly. I've never seen what Ritsu's dad looks like, but I could, with absolute certainty, say Ritsu looked like his mama. I already liked her, "I'm looking for Ritsu Kasanoda…Does he live here?"
"Sometimes," I smiled a little, "That depends on the day."
"If you don't mind me asking," the woman wondered, "Who are you?"
"I'm Reila," I introduced myself, "I'm…"
"His girlfriend," she smiled, coming around a bit.
"That's right," I nodded. So, in his conversation with his mom, Ritsu's already gushed about me? I think he might like me.
"Is he here?" she asked, "He did ask me to meet him here, so I don't know if he's shown up yet."
"He's here," I assured, "He's a little nervous, though. Last I saw him, he was busy giving himself a pep talk. Could I ask you what your name is?"
"Yes," she allowed, "It's Kiyomi."
"Mom…?" Ritsu came around the corner, his voice breaking.
"Ritsu…" her eyes swelled. Like they saw each other yesterday, Kiyomi threw her arms around her baby, just happy to see him again. Ritsu did say it was nine years since he saw his mom. If I'm doing my math right, that means he hasn't seen her since he was seven? I'll let those two cry it out and try to keep my own tears to myself. Besides, far be it for me to third wheel my boyfriend and his mom.
I left those two in the living room and awkwardly checked my phone in the kitchen. Everything was already out of the oven and off the stove, so nothing would burn. I just needed to check my phone. When my lock screen lit up, it was a picture of Daddy and me from my birthday that Ritsu managed to sneak in that I absolutely adored. And that was all the clarity I needed. I missed having him here, but I'll be back home, no doubt, in another few months, so it's not the end of the world.
"Hey, Rei…" Ritsu's voice was hoarse, but that was to be expected, "Dinner's done, isn't it?"
"Yeah," I nodded, "It's all on the table."
"This looks amazing," Kiyomi gasped, "Where did you order this from?"
"From my own kitchen," I bit my lip, "I'm a hell of a cook when I want to be."
"It's beautiful, Reila," she looked the table over.
"Thank you," I gladly accepted the compliment, "I'm Italian on my mom's side and Spanish on my dad's. If I couldn't cook, I'd bring shame to my family."
"You did wonderfully," Kiyomi could only sing the highest of praises.
"Special occasion," I shrugged, looking over at Ritsu just to check in. He gave me a little nod. Alright. Everything's good. The three of us sat down and dug into the lavish spread on my table. I worked my ass off on it. There's no way in hell it's going to waste. Even if we all ate until we couldn't move, I'd still be able to eat off this one particular dinner for the rest of the week.
"Ritsu," Kiyomi got quiet again, "I need to ask you something. And I want you to answer me honestly."
"Of course," Ritsu promised. God, I hope this isn't the part where she asks for a vital organ. Because that would put a damper on the evening.
"Are you still involved with the syndicate…?"
His face fell as he hung his head. I felt his hand on my thigh. Immediately, my hand went to his, "Yeah. I'm not trying to, but you understand. It's the nature of the beast."
"I'm sorry," Kiyomi winced, "Was that one of those things that…you were keeping a secret?"
"No," I answered for him, "I knew Ritsu came from yakuza."
"And yet," she wondered, "You still fell in love with him?"
"That's just one part," I explained, "One minor part."
"I'm trying, Mom," Ritsu admitted, "I'm trying to get out. You know as well as I do that I don't want to head the family."
"I know," Kiyomi shuddered, "But you know how…he can be."
"I know," he steadied his breathing, his grip on my hand softening, "But while I was in New York, I hooked up with a mafia family."
"Ritsu…" Kiyomi whined, her voice dripping with disappointment. Personally, I felt a tad offended, "I thought you said you were trying to get out."
"Hold on," Ritsu settled her, "It's ok, though. This particular family is alright. They're not at all like our syndicate. They police the underground. This family keeps all the other ones in check. They take care of each other. It's not at all like it is here. I promise."
"Are you sure?" she worried, still not sure how to feel about it.
"Well," I stepped in, "I turned out ok. I'm not killing anyone for looking at me funny or because they insulted my dog."
"You don't have a dog, Rei," Ritsu pointed out.
"Figure of speech," I rolled my eyes, "It's my family, Kiyomi. Trust me. When I say it's ok, it's ok."
"I don't know," Kiyomi sighed out, "Call it mafia. Call it yakuza. It's all the same to me."
"But Mom," Ritsu clarified, "When I called you while I was in New York, I had just left meeting Rei's mom. I wasn't expecting to meet her at the cemetery, but I've heard stories about her and I felt like I knew her all my life. When I met Rei's dad…He came off like a typical mafia boss. I knew how to deal with him. But I didn't expect him to be so…Gracious. So kind. I've never felt so loved than when I went to New York with Rei. I promise you. It's not all the same. I might hate my yakuza roots with a burning passion, but I wouldn't trade my mafia family for the world. I love them all and definitely the girl it gave me."
"And they love you, too," I assured, holding his hand a bit tighter. Don't you start crying, Rei. Keep that inside. Later. There's always later.
"Well…" Kiyomi wasn't sure what to think. I could see it all over her face. She looked over at Ritsu, then over at me, "I have a hard time believing you're mafia, Reila."
"It's true," I confirmed, "I grew up with my father leading one of the biggest families in the city. If not the biggest. The only misfortune it's ever brought us is the loss of my mother. However, that wasn't our fault. That was her being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But no matter what happens to us, we always come back stronger. In fact, we have a family rule that we never kill in cold blood. If they wrong us, we will wrong them back. If they take care of us, we'll take care of them. It's not nearly as bad as you think. It's home. And one day, I'm supposed to take over. Ever since I met Ritsu, though…I'm not so sure."
"Excuse me?" Ritsu perked up.
"Yeah," I forgot I hadn't told him about that yet. Hell, I hadn't ever said it out loud, "I may not be taking the family."
"Rei…" he gave me a look, "Ever since we met, all you've talked about when it came to the family was how ecstatic you were about taking over."
"Maybe I want something different," I thought, "Maybe I have other plans. I know I can always fall back on leading the family. But if I don't, then I don't. Daddy would find another successor. Maybe not one of my uncles, but he'd find someone. Although, I think there's only one person he'd ever consider aside from me."
"Who?" My smile only got bigger. Come on, Ritsu. I've seen you tackle my calculus homework. I know you can figure this one out, "No…"
"Probably," I nodded, "But you'd have to ask Daddy about that."
"I'm not going from leading one syndicate to another," Ritsu shot me down, "Not happening."
"I never said that was official," I backed off, "But it's possible."
"Remind me later," he requested, "Talk to your old man. We need to have some words."
"Got it."
"But…Mom?" Ritsu turned quiet. Just like his mom, "Do you think…maybe we could do this again?"
Kiyomi froze. I don't think she was expecting to do this again. Or for Ritsu to ask. But then, a soft smile stretched across her face, "Yes. I'd love that."
"So would I," he confirmed, throwing his arms around her, "Because I miss you. It's been way too long since we've seen each other and I don't think I can do that again."
"I miss you, too, Ritsu," Kiyomi's embrace tightened, "And it was really nice being able to meet you, too, Reila. Do I call you Reila or do I call you Rei?"
"You can call me Reila," I insisted. Ok. I love her.
"I need to be going," Kiyomi got up from the table, "I'm sorry to cut this short."
"It's alright," Ritsu got up with her and walked her to the door, "It is getting late."
"And we're already on borrowed time," she pointed out, "Aren't we?"
"They don't know about this place," he assured, "We're completely safe."
"Good," Kiyomi relaxed, "I'm sure Reila can take care of herself, but I'd hate to put her at risk. After she did this for us."
"Thank you, Kiyomi." Can I keep her? Because I want to keep her, too. It must be something in the bloodline.
"I love you, Ritsu," she laid her head on his shoulder, "I look forward to when we can do this again."
"Me, too," Ritsu kissed the top of her head, "I love you, too, Mom."
"Good night…"
And just like that, Kiyomi left my penthouse, leaving me with her son. That could've gone so much worse. Maybe Ritsu and Kiyomi had gotten all their anger out on that first phone call. Or maybe they were just so happy to hear from each other that the anger had gone away. I'm sure it'll be dealt with someday, but today would not be that day. Today was more of a celebration than a therapy session. Regardless of what it was or what it wasn't, one thing was for certain. It went well. And that's all that mattered.
I sat down in the living room half asleep on the couch with a full belly and an even fuller heart, waiting for Ritsu to come back in. He took a seat next to me and instinctively, I cuddled right up to him, laying my head in his lap, "Ritsu…? You doing ok, baby?"
"Yeah," he nodded. I'm just happy he's talking, "It might not have been much, but dammit, it was a start. I'm beat. You want to go to bed?"
"Absolutely," I had been on my feet all afternoon and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Ritsu. By the time we were both tucked cozily into the soft sheets, I gave him the most loving kiss I could possibly muster up, "I'm proud of you, Ritsu."
"Thanks, Rei," Ritsu kissed me back, "But really…I'm tired and I want to go to sleep. Is that alright with you?"
"Fine by me," I wrapped his arm around me, "Good night, baby."
"Night."
After I knew Ritsu was heavily asleep, I finally let out all the tears I had been holding back. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. When I told Ritsu that I'd give anything to see Mama again, I wasn't joking. That wasn't a figure of speech. Dammit, I miss her. I'd love for her to walk through my front door again and say some shit like how she was hiding in Venezuela because of some other notorious mobster in the city that Daddy never knew and she could come back now. But unfortunately, I knew exactly where Mama was. The Williamsburg Cemetery. There was a lot about Kiyomi that reminded me of Mama. Although, Mama had a much more cavalier attitude about being in love with a mafia boss than Kiyomi did. I didn't know enough about her history with Ritsu's dad to make assumptions, though. That could've been more of a disaster than I know. Slowly, I lifted Ritsu's arm off my shoulder and snuck up to the roof with my phone in hand. I needed to make a call without him.
"Rei?" Daddy's voice hit me like a fucking freight train, "It's late, baby. What are you still doing up? Is everything ok?"
"Yeah," my voice broke, "Everything's fine. I just thought I'd call and check in."
"Bullshit, Reila," he called me out, "What's wrong? You know you can talk to me. So, talk…What's going on?"
"I…" I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down, "I met Ritsu's mom tonight. And she got me thinking about Mama and…Well…"
"Got you a little emotional, huh?" Daddy hit the nail on the head, "I get it, kid. I miss Mama, too. But you know damn well Mama doesn't want you said, baby girl. Even when she was alive, she hated seeing you upset."
"You're the same way," I retaliated, a smile returning to my face.
"Can you blame me?" Daddy argued, "You're my little girl, Reila. Always. I hate seeing you upset. That's just common sense. Where are you right now?"
"On my roof," I told him, "I was having a hard time sleeping."
"Get your ass back in bed," he scolded me, "You got school in the morning, Reila Ann…"
"I know," I winced, going back into my bedroom, making sure not to wake the sleeping baby already in the bed. As soon as I laid down, Ritsu's arm went back around me. I swear, he's like a Venus fly trap.
"Are you back in bed?" Daddy asked.
"Yeah," I whispered, "I'm in bed."
"Why are we whispering?"
"Ritsu's asleep," I pointed out, "And I don't want to wake him."
"Understandable," Daddy let it go, "Now, shut your eyes, ok?"
I did as he asked me, "They're shut."
"Put your head on the pillow…"
"It's already there," I giggled a little.
"Good," Daddy giggled with me, "Now, get some sleep. I love you, princess."
"I love you, too, Daddy," I hung up my phone and put it back on the nightstand. Sometimes, that's all I needed. My boyfriend on my back, my daddy in my ear, and a warm bed. It didn't get much better than that.
"Rei?" Dammit. I was being careful, too.
"Hey," I rolled into Ritsu's chest, "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Are you ok?" Ritsu worried, cradling me gently.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"I got you, baby," he kissed my forehead, "I'm right here. You're ok. Go back to sleep, got it?"
"Ok," I buried my face in his ribs, content with the world. Just when I think it can't get any better, Ritsu one-ups himself. Now, I could go to sleep. My good night from Ritsu. My good night from Daddy. Only one left.
Good night, Mama. I love you.
