A/N for 2020-03-29: Hoping you are all doing okay, if you are self-isolating, as my entire country is (or should be). I will try to get the next chapter up within the week.
As always, many, many thanks to Eeyorefan12, who makes this story a million times better.
~ Erin
With the abrupt start of maternity leave, or so the school district believed, Bella didn't even return to work to collect her personal things. Nor did she leave the house to visit her midwife, walk Meredith to school, visit her psychiatrist, or engage with the world in a way that might endanger the people within it. She was, for all intents and purposes, incarcerated in her family's home, as if it even mattered.
She had readily agreed when Edward told her he was going to pull Meredith from school and move all of them into the Cullen house, reasoning that it would be safer for the family to stay physically together. Edward had also been able to assure her that Meredith had taken the news well when she learned that she'd be living in the same house as her favorite aunt. Bella and Edward had chosen not to share the news of Charlie's disappearance with the children, since they had no reassurances to offer them. It would be better to wait until they knew something before telling them their Grandpa was gone—although that really seemed a formality now.
Bella's internal confinement was even more effective than her physical one. She shrank into herself, interacting with her family when required, faintly smiling when it seemed suitable, and eating as her body, or Edward, demanded. She passively allowed Edward and Carlisle to monitor both her blood pressure and her pregnancy. The near-physical numbness was a familiar friend, as she struggled to play the part the outside world expected of her, accepting messages of encouragement and condolence alike from those who had known or worked with Charlie. They would never stop working on the case, she was repeatedly assured by his fellow officers, though enough time went by that even the most determined of them stopped calling or giving updates.
She knew her vampire family was looking for her father. She had listened as Alice had apologized profusely to her and to everyone else in the house, repeatedly, while they all insisted that it couldn't be Alice's fault, that somehow Victoria had found a way to fool even her visions. Bella was also aware that they had humbled themselves, with Carlisle asking the wolves for their assistance again, but Sam had been unrelenting. He'd been told that they'd ended Victoria after the battle, and he didn't want any more empty promises, requests, threats or supposedly 'friendly' vampires in his backyard. Although he'd allowed them to collect Charlie's car and any clues they could find, that was the end of his cooperation with the Cullens.
By early November, Bella had missed two rescheduled appointments with her psychiatrist, and it took all of Edward's charm and several of Jasper's fine forgeries to deflect the interest of the government social worker who wanted to conduct a home visit; It was supposed to be the final one now that her marital status had changed and she was supposedly stable and healthy. But even Edward had agreed that it might be too difficult to keep up the facade right now.
The search for Victoria continued. Even in the fog of grief in which she spent much of her time, Bella could feel and see the activity around her. It seemed different from the months before the battle when, she suspected, much more was hidden from her. There were fewer secrets now. Although discussions of strategy among the family members were still happening where she and the children were unaware of them, the frequent absences by various Cullens, Edward among them this time, were more obvious. They would go out in groups of three at least, coming back hours later wearing rain-drenched clothes and matching expressions of defeat. Carlisle's office had acquired a few extra computer screens where, Bella learned, intensive traces and scans of unusual activity were being conducted, mainly by Esme and Rose, in between taking turns helping with the children.
Thinking that at least online research was something she could do to help, Bella had made an attempt early on but she had to stop when reading just the headlines had eradicated her appetite for any news at all. There were many people missing in strange circumstances. In one bizarre occurrence, no fewer than seventeen dismembered feet had washed up on the shorelines around Vancouver and Seattle. Perhaps Victoria and her helpers were hungry, and taunting them? No, she didn't need more fuel for her grief and fear. Besides, it hadn't taken long to see a pattern between clicking on a news site and Edward suddenly appearing with some reason to interrupt her. Sometimes she could even hear his phone chirp with a text from Alice before he did it.
It was during one of these times that Bella had allowed her poisonous thoughts to wander further than they usually did as she pondered the losses that had already piled up and considered who else would be lost because of her. Were Meredith and Josh next? Was it just a matter of time? Could she stop this? If she went to Victoria, if she offered herself up—
Edward's phone rang nearby.
She let him draw her into his arms and felt her heartbeat slowing, knowing without hearing his near-silent conversation to whom he was speaking.
"I know," she breathed when he hung up.
His arms felt very, very careful around her. She didn't dare meet his eyes, keeping her face pointed away.
"She's trying to—"
"I know," she said again, more forcefully.
"She wants to upset you—"
"I know." She pulled away, turning and making her slow, awkward way towards the stairs, and to their bedroom. Once there, she crawled into the bed, trying to find a way to lie down that didn't make her body ache somewhere. Her stockings chafed at her sore legs, her back throbbed, and her throat burned with the acid that refused to stay put in her stomach. And she wished it was a million times more miserable, because then she'd be so self-absorbed that she wouldn't even care about her dad.
But her dad was gone.
"And it's my fault!" She pounded a frustrated fist into her pillow.
Even with her thoughts warped by rage and grief, she could sense Edward's presence at the door.
"Come in," she mumbled into the comforter. She didn't want company, but knew it was cruel to keep him out. In the last few days—or was it weeks?—they were spending so little time alone together. When Edward went out with his family, he usually scheduled it so that he could participate in putting the children to bed first and be gone while they were asleep, to keep things as normal for them as possible. Of course, this meant that Bella was sleeping alone more than either of them would have liked.
The mattress depressed slightly under his weight, though she still didn't turn to face him.
"I'm sorry, Bella. You have every right to be furious with me."
She rolled over slowly, holding her stomach as she did so, and looked up at him. She studied his face for a moment, trying to ascertain the emotion there. Worry, likely. There were so many things he had to worry about—so many things she wasn't supposed to know and from which he was protecting her. Maybe there was some pity as well. And guilt? Yes, that was clearly evident in the lines of his usually smooth face and she didn't like seeing it there. "I'm not angry with you, Edward. Not at all. This is on her."
While he may have disagreed, he didn't argue with her and for that she was grateful.
Besides, there was only one person she could blame and it was herself. She had been the one to say they should go home for the summer. If they'd stayed put, maybe Sue and Charlie—
She could barely think their names without wincing.
Edward's hand had come to rest on her back, his face crinkled in concern. "But you can't think what Alice says you were thinking. Your father would never accept that kind of bargain, ever, and you know it."
No, her father wouldn't want that.
"Victoria was sloppy when she took him. She and at least one helper left scents for us to follow. All it will take is another mistake, and we will find her . . ."
Bella stopped listening, sinking again into the familiar absence of feeling. She knew they hadn't found anything beyond those scents, and this was as close to a lie as Edward had used with her since his return. When all clues inevitably ended in the wash of water, they might as well not have been there at all. And another 'mistake', as Edward put it, most likely meant another murder on Bella's conscience.
She thought about Edward's bending of the truth. If he was desperate enough to come so close to a lie, it meant that there really was no hope.
As if he knew she had checked herself out of the conversation, Edward breathed a small sigh. "Can I get you anything from the kitchen?"
"No, I'm fine." She tried to smile. "Thank you," she added, remembering her manners.
Remembering she loved this man.
Edward's tiny attempt to return the smile looked as disingenuous as hers had felt. "I love you," he said, a gentle hand squeezing hers, then stroking once over her belly before he rose and walked towards the door.
She knew he did, but there was no feeling inside her to go with the knowledge.
"I love you, too," she answered woodenly, and then closed her eyes in relief when he left the room and closed the door behind him.
- 0 -
Bella was alone when she woke up from her impromptu nap. She felt the faint stirrings of hunger and got up carefully to walk downstairs, catching a quick glimpse through the windows of Alice, Meredith and Josh exploring the yard outside. She thought briefly of joining them but they looked so carefree and happy that she didn't want to inflict her malaise on them. Just the day before, she had overheard Edward assuring Meredith that her mommy wasn't mad at her but was only being 'grumpy' because she was just tired. She knew it wasn't fair to them but her grief was so overwhelming that she could do no better than she was.
As she neared the kitchen, she could hear a few voices in conversation, Rose's the most prominent. While most of the Cullens were mute on the subject of the recent disappearances, Rosalie was not, and Bella heard a fragment of telling speech as she entered the dining area and saw all the Cullen siblings there. " . . . and it's a level of astronomical denial to think the Volturi won't notice, Jasper," Rose was saying.
Bella watched Edward glare at his sister. Rose's lips twisted in response, but she held her ground, as did Jasper. His eyes were at least downcast, until she came into the room. Then, he and the others nodded in greeting and Edward walked over to place a kiss on her forehead.
"I'm going to explore the fridge," she told him as she moved past, hoping to make it clear that she didn't want to be coddled at the moment. She knew she'd been successful when he didn't follow her.
Knowing they wouldn't discuss anymore of this in front of her, Bella opened the door of the refrigerator, pretending to study the contents before pulling out a bottle of water and an apple. Their conversation remained audible, but stripped enough of details so as to be cryptic, at least to Bella. When she turned to leave the room, Edward followed her, offering a steadying hand while she mounted the shallow stairs out of the sunken living room and turned to face him.
"I'm fine," she told him. "I think I'll try to work on my quilt." She held up her food as if to assure him that she was taking care of herself and was rewarded with his soft smile.
"I'll leave you to it," he said encouragingly, but she could practically feel his eyes on her as she walked away.
Bella shuffled towards Esme's study, where she knew she'd find her abandoned quilting project. She had no intention of finishing it, but it gave her a plausible reason to escape the company of her larger family and the obtuse commentary they always engaged in when she was present.
Sitting down at Esme's worktable, Bella startled slightly when she was greeted by the strange and tinny version of her sister-in-law's vice. Her eyebrows puckered, as she tried to puzzle out the source of the sound.
Ah. Her eyes lit on the heating vent above Esme's worktable. The subtle whoosh from the furnace had shut off between its heat cycles. In the interim, the normally hushed voices of her in-laws were amplified by the ducting that ran the length of the hall.
"Kate said Grant's doing well," Rose said.
She couldn't make out the mumbled sounds in response, but they seemed to be positive.
Bella's shoulders relaxed a little. What had happened to Grant was in no way good, but this at least was a tiny spark of reprieve in the disaster Victoria had made. Emmett and Rose had brought a message from him when they'd returned from Alaska, and while it hadn't really offered forgiveness, he had at least expressed gratitude that his existence had been spared because of her. She smiled at the memory, her misdirected attention missing the first few words of Jasper's next utterance.
" . . . like the others, lost in the water," Jasper said.
Bella became very still, all her focus pointed at the heating duct.
"And the remains?" Edward said.
Silence.
She heard a loud thump, as if someone had hit something in frustration. Then Edward's voice again, "When I went, I couldn't hear anything from anyone who'd been nearby."
Damn. She hated it when he answered their thought questions. Especially the next one. He sounded miserable as he spoke.
"Much as you've seen her. Charlie's disappearance has been . . . difficult."
"Difficult?" Rose asked, the pitch rising. "It's going to be a nightmare if we don't start making progress on both fronts." There was a frustrated huff at the end of her sentence.
"Don't," Edward growled.
"Why? Are you seriously going to stick your head in the sand about what the Volturi are going to do about the attention Victoria's antics are attracting in the press? Alice and Jasper have to leave soon; how do you think Aro will react when he finds out that we lied to them, that Bella isn't insane and—right, that little detail about how you can read minds?"
Edward's "Quiet!" was anything but.
Then Jasper's voice again. "Edward? When you went?"
Silence.
"Alice didn't—"
"I asked her not to." Edward's voice was so quiet Bella had to strain to hear it.
Now Emmett spoke up. "Bro, you went without one of us?"
"I had to." Edward told him. "I had to wait until the children—"
"Dammit, Edward!" Jasper snapped. "You said you were meeting Emmett and Rose! We agreed that no one goes out alone. No one."
"We needed to know, and I'm the only one who can hear what they saw!" There was a desperate tone in Edward's voice, and it tore at her heart while his brothers and Rose piled on, their words a sudden caucauphony of fury as they berated him. Rose's voice rose above the others'.
Rose made a frustrated sound. "This isn't just about y—"
"Don't you say it, Rose." Edward cut her off. "Don't you dare say it isn't about me. It's all on me. All of it. You see what it's doing to her. I have to fix this!"
"How?" Rose demanded, her tone heavy with suspicion. "By offering yourself to Victoria? What do you think that would do to Bella?"
"I wasn't . . . I didn't . . ." Edward's words ended in a strangled sob and Bella felt tears welling up in her eyes as she put a hand over her mouth to stifle her own. She had seen Edward sorrowful, contrite, fearful and even desperate but none of it came close to the agony pouring from him now and it was clawing at her heart. How had he hidden this from her? He had put himself in so much danger. Victoria could have . . . Bella couldn't finish the thought. Nothing could happen to Edward. Edward had to be here with them—especially for the children. Why had she not seen that his grief was overwhelming him? She needed to go to him . . .
"Edward."
With a rush of pure relief, Bella recognized Carlisle's voice. She hadn't realized he was home, but he clearly had heard the argument.
There was a long silence before Carlisle spoke again, his tone steady and firm. "I understand your concerns, all of you, but this is not constructive. We'll reconvene later."
There were various unintelligible mumbles before everything was silent again. Bella strained to listen, wanting to go to Edward but knowing that her proudly stoic husband might need some time to regroup. Then she heard Carlisle's voice again, much gentler than before.
"Edward. Son."
"I know." Edward said quietly.
Another short silence.
"It wasn't my intention, Carlisle. But . . ." He stopped short and Bella knew Carlisle was still speaking silently.
"Yes," Edward said, responding to Carlisle. "And I won't. I promised her."
Just as Bella wondered what he had promised, she was startled when Esme appeared in the doorway. Bella's face flushed furiously as Esme glanced up at the heating vent which had served as the source of Bella's secret surveillance, but there was only kindness in her expression.
"Edward and Carlisle are going out to hunt for a bit. Would you like to help me decide on dinner for the children?"
Embarrassed, Bella nodded and began the slow process of pushing herself to her feet. Esme watched her closely and then spoke again.
"It's been a difficult day, hasn't it?"
Bella nodded again, realizing she probably still had tear tracks on her cheeks.
Esme surprised her when she reached out and drew her into a gentle hug, and Bella was even more surprised when she took comfort from it. It felt like it had been weeks since another person's touch had been so soothing.
"His father will help him." Esme whispered into her ear. "We will get you through this . . . both of you."
Bella nodded into Esme's shoulder. "Thank you."
Esme pulled back and smiled a bit sadly. "Now, come with me and I'll make you a cup of tea while we plan dinner."
Bella followed her to the kitchen, her thoughts swirling in her head but clearer than they had been for several days. Yes, they needed to get through this. They needed to find out what had happened to her father, even if the news was as she feared, but she could not bear to lose anyone else to Victoria. And that included the man who was stubborn enough to martyr himself on her behalf, even if unintentionally. She couldn't forget what she had learned today. There was no mystery as to what the Volturi would do to her family, whether human, vampire, adult, or child, once Alice and Jasper went to them. Their fate would ultimately be the same, unless something happened to drastically change it. She needed strength to believe that Edward and the rest of her family could come up with a solution. She needed her wits about her to deal with whatever was to come. Her husband needed her to be more of a partner and less of a liability. An idea slowly began to pierce the fog in her head.
- 0 -
When Bella woke the next morning, a set of chilly fingers were lodged in her own. The unwelcome thought that they felt like death slithered over her conscience, and she shivered slightly.
"Morning," Edward whispered.
"Morning," she replied. He was back. After Edward and Carlisle had left to hunt, they had called later in the evening to say they would be gone the rest of the night. "I'm glad you're home. Any news?"
He shook his head but didn't speak. He also wasn't making eye contact. For a moment, she wondered if Carlisle or Esme had told him what she had overheard the day before, then realized he would know from their thoughts anyway. She waited to see if he would bring it up, but he remained silent. When he finally did meet her gaze, his eyes searched hers. There was a nervous energy in his fingers and then his words.
"I just spoke with Alice," he finally said.
Had she seen something? "Oh?" Bella asked.
His voice was gentle, but the words blunt. "She was concerned when your future abruptly disappeared."
Ah, for once Bella was prepared to address this concern. She turned to face him, feeling him chill her other hand with his touch. "I was going to invite Leah to come visit. It's nice to know that she's going to accept."
Edward's hand softened around hers.
Bella decided to continue. Despite the emotional fog in which she'd existed lately, and although she still didn't like talking about this part of the past, it was necessary for him to understand. "Before, when you left, Jacob took me to one of the Quileute elders, asking for me to be smudged. It's a kind of a—"
"Cleansing. Yes, I know." Edward said, nodding, smiling a little. Then the smile faltered. "I can well imagine why Jacob thought you would need it."
Bella chewed on her lip before releasing it. Even with her recent emotional numbness, and especially after yesterday, Edward's hurts always affected her.
"Yes," she said. "It, um . . . seemed to help then. I wondered if it might now."
"Then you should ask her to come," Edward said.
Her own shoulders relaxed a little.
"You thought I would object?" he asked.
Now it was her turn to smile uncertainly. "I wasn't sure," she mumbled.
"If there is anything you think might help, I want that for you," he said, squeezing her fingers in emphasis. He moved to brush her hair away from her forehead. "Anything you need," he said firmly.
Edward was clearly not going to address the elephant in the room, so Bella had to gather the strength to do it. Since yesterday, the realization that she and her children could lose him—to the Volturi, to Victoria—had become a steady litany of fearful possibilities in her head. "What I need . . . Is to know that you are with me. I need to know that you are always here for me and for our children."
He nodded solemnly, his gaze still fixed on hers. "I am."
Bella swallowed hard. "But you—"
He didn't make her say it out loud. "Bella," he interrupted. "I made a mistake in a moment of weakness. It won't happen again. I promised you I would never leave you again and," he squeezed her hand for emphasis, his eyes searching hers, "I will keep my promise."
She glanced down at their linked hands and then looked up again at the man she knew she loved so fiercely. "Okay," she said softly. "Because Mer and Josh need—"
His voice was strong and firm as he interrupted her to repeat himself. "I will keep my promise, to all of you."
"No matter what?" she pressed. The promise, in this moment, seemed monumental to her, as if she was securing something she couldn't name.
She saw the conviction in his eyes and heard it in his voice.
"No matter what."
- 0 -
Sitting on the bed, Bella nervously fingered the comforter edge, pulling at the stray thread poking out from the seam, fraying it into several pieces. She remembered coiling the plastic cord of her father's kitchen phone around her fingers in a similar state of nerves when she would talk to Jake. Now she waited for the purring ring on the other end of the line to be answered.
"Hello?"
Bella sucked in a nervous breath. "Leah, it's—"
"Bella?"
"Yeah, Bella Cu—"
"I know who you are, girl. What do you need?" Her voice sounded sandy and rough, but soothing, too.
After Sam's surliness, the question made Bella's chest tighten with emotion. "I need your help," she managed.
Leah chuckled, and then spoke gently. "Well, I figured it wasn't an invite for dinner. What kind of help?"
"Will you come and smudge me?" she asked.
"Yes."
She would? Just like that?
A moment of silence stretched between them.
"What, changed your mind? Or were you expecting a no?" Leah asked.
"No, I mean, thank you—"
"Just say when you need me," Leah said.
The conversation moved to practicalities, and when Bella hung up, she kept the phone pressed against her chest like a talisman. There was a small measure of relief, and the knowledge that she had some sort of control with which to make decisions.
- 0 -
Leah had agreed to come almost immediately, claiming that her job owed her both sick leave and vacation time. With Edward having insisted on paying for her to fly, her arrival was set for just two soggy days after Bella's phone call. She called when she had her rental car and was a half-hour from the house, so Bella decided to wait for her in the living room.
Both of the kids were already there when Bella and Edward wandered in together. Esme and Josh were looking at a nature book while she named the flowers he pointed to and Meredith, as usual, was working diligently on her 'portfolio' of fashion designs. When she spotted Edward, Mer clenched her jaw shut and glared at him. He'd made her clean up a mess in her room that she'd been supposed to address the night before, and she was still actively resenting him for it.
"Carlisle! Edward! Alice!" Emmett suddenly burst in from outside. The others were there in an instant and, before Emmett could speak again, Edward had obviously plucked what he was about to say out of his head.
"Jasper and Emmett found a scent trail! Jasper stayed . . . " Edward stopped suddenly, realizing he'd forgotten the children were in the room. He made a glance their way, but Josh was still deeply engrossed in his book and Meredith was now patently ignoring him.
"Let's go," Carlisle murmured.
Edward turned toward Bella and swept a gentle finger across her cheek before brushing it with a kiss. He looked conflicted at the thought of leaving, but they hadn't had a breakthrough in a while and she knew what he needed from her.
Her heart was racing but she gave him a quick nod. "Go," She whispered. He followed quickly after his family members. Bella stared after them for a few moments. Should she dare to hope? Would this be the time? Would they find . . . anything?
Esme watched her as she finally settled herself on the other end of the couch. She gave Bella an encouraging smile before she got up from her spot and held out her hands to the children.
"I think I smell something delicious in the kitchen. Do you think Rose is baking something for later? Shall we go see?" Her voice trailed off as two enthusiastic sleuths headed with her to the kitchen.
Bella's phone dinged in her hand with a new email. Wondering why Leah was emailing instead of texting, it took her a few moments to realize that the message was not from Leah at all. It took her only another moment to realize who it was from . . . and what she was looking at. Or whom.
She choked out a silent sob, hand to her mouth, her vision warped by sudden tears. The image of Charlie's still-living form, body roughly constrained by rope, burned itself instantly into her mind, as did the expression of helpless fury on his face as he glared into the lens.
"He's alive," she breathed out. He was alive, at least he was when the picture had been taken. But there was no way to know for sure, and no way to secure it, in any case.
If her heart had been racing before, now it was in danger of flying out of her chest. For perhaps the first time, she truly understood the meaning of the phrase frozen in fear. She could not move, she could not make a sound, her own thoughts were silent to her. She could barely register the words under the photo, staring at the confusing letters until they finally coalesced into a cohesive sentence.
"When the cats are away, it's time to play. V"
Not only was Victoria not dead but, she was here. And she was probably not alone. But, somehow she knew Bella nearly was. Edward! Had Victoria laid a false trail for the Cullens? Were they running to an ambush?
Just then, as if to convince Bella that all of her hard-won sanity was nothing but illusion, her phone pinged again, this time with a text message containing a second image. Glancing up to see that she was still alone in the room, Bella returned her eyes to the screen and forced them to make sense of what she saw there, both the vision and the words.
Beneath the image of a terrified Chelsea, curled up in a self-protective posture on a forest floor somewhere, was the caption "Added incentive."
And with that, something within her gave way at last. A switch had been flipped. Suddenly, the path forward was only too clearly laid out for her.
Before he had left her all those years ago, Edward had told Bella many times that his very presence in her life was a danger to her. She remembered the way his forehead had wrinkled as he'd leaned in close and breathed, "Your number was up the minute you met me." In their years apart, she'd imagined him regretting saying that, along with all the other things that expressed the same sentiment, at least, she had when she hadn't thought herself insane.
But he had been right all along. Her number really had been up the minute she'd met him. She'd been cheating death with every breath she had drawn since then. And now death was here, its claws reaching and slicing at her, but snatching all the people she cared for instead and she'd had enough. It had to end now.
A distant memory surfaced in her mind. It was of her and Edward, in the kitchen of this very house only a few months before, with him trying to explain his leaving all those years ago. She had scoffed at him, insisting that he didn't know what love was. But it was the question he had asked her in response that came to her now: If you knew your absence would protect your children, or anyone you love, more than your presence, would you leave them?
Bella drew in a shaky breath, acknowledging not only what he had asked, but what her response had been then—and what it would be now. She heard chatter between the children and Esme and Rose from the kitchen and took comfort from it. No matter what happened now, especially to her, her children would be safe and cared for. They had family who loved them and they would have Edward, who would keep his promise to her and watch over and protect them for the rest of their natural lives. She even dared to hope that they might have Charlie. Was it possible?
The doorbell rang. Leah! She hadn't even considered that she was about to arrive but now she wondered if that was why Alice hadn't seen this and come running. But Alice hadn't seen a lot, lately, so she wasn't even surprised that Edward had not called her.
Rosalie swiftly passed her on the way to the front door and Bella took a few moments to swallow down her fear and panic and to make an attempt to smooth her features before anyone looked her way.
While it would have been easy to think that Rose was only sparing Bella a trip to the door, she knew better. All of Rose's protective instincts bristled under her clothes as she greeted Leah. Their enmity was cellular.
"Hi," Leah said, visibly fighting to keep her nose from wrinkling. Her muscles were as taut as Rose's.
"Hi, Leah," Bella called, hoisting herself up from the couch. "Thank you for coming."
Leah nodded, not stepping inside, despite Rose moving back from the door to let her enter.
"Coming in?" she asked.
"Um, no thanks," Leah said, eyeing her warily. "I'll wait on the porch."
"Bella isn't leaving here," Rose said firmly.
"I'm not." Bella agreed. She had not imagined this complication but she thought she knew a way around it. "But it's safe if we just walk around the grounds, right?"
Rose looked dubious but Bella had told them all why Leah was coming so she pressed her case. "Leah has to burn some things, and she can't do that in the house." She forced her breathing to continue in a slow even pattern, not quite meeting Rosalie's eyes and trying not to look as if she was struggling with the devastation inside her.
"Fine," Rose finally snapped. "But you stay near the house. We don't know what they're finding out there and we don't know when they'll be back." She didn't have to add that there were only two family members here to guard her and the children. Bella was sure Rose wouldn't consider a wolf as part of their defensive team.
Bella nodded, not allowing herself to consider the well of emotion that could swallow her, drowning her only opportunity to make things right. Not allowing herself to think of changing her mind.
"Are you going somewhere? Can I go?" Meredith asked, appearing out of nowhere and interrupting her mother's thoughts.
"No, Sweetie, sorry. Leah and I just need some grown-up time," Bella said. When she extended her hand, Meredith came towards her, accepting her hug. "I love you," Bella managed to say. "When he gets home, you can ask Edward to take you both outside."
Meredith humphed her disgust for this suggestion, the sound muffled against Bella's shoulder.
While she didn't doubt the intensity of Meredith's feeling, Bella also knew that it would blow over soon enough. Then she ended that stream of thought before it drifted into what the next few days would look like at her house. Clearing her throat, she said, "Just remember that Edward loves you just like I do. Even when I make you clean up your own messes."
Meredith pulled away, her face hardened by this reminder. "Fine," she said, frowning before she turned and walked away in a huff.
Bella's heart cracked into rough shards, each one feeling as if it was slicing into her lungs, making it difficult to breathe.
She had spotted Josh walking into the powder room as she talked with Meredith and excused herself, saying, "Just a pitstop for the pregnant lady before we go outside." She was amazed how much humor and calm she had injected into her own voice.
Josh was thoroughly engrossed at the bathroom sink, pouring water from one cup to another, a look of furtive concentration on his face.
"Love you, buddy," she said, giving him a hug from the side. He wouldn't turn to face her. "Grandma Esme and Rose are here if you need anything and Edw—Man will be back soon"
"Man," Josh acknowledged, still fixated on the water he was pouring. "Water."
Bella couldn't help it, desperately burying her face in his curls and inhaling. "Yes," she said, making herself smile when Josh glanced up and met her gaze in the mirror. "Man." Her voice remained miraculously unbroken. Unlike her heart.
At the door, Bella reached for her coat and she slipped out to join Leah on the porch. She led the way, away from the house but still within sight of the kitchen windows in case Esme was watching. She could feel Leah studying her as they walked.
"You look like a woman on a mission." Leah finally said, a trace of humor in her voice.
"I am," Bella replied in the barest of whispers, glad for once that the wolves had the same supernatural hearing ability as vampires.
"Okay." Leah glanced around her, finally spotting what she was looking for. "Here," she said.
Bella looked around. The green space seemed unremarkable, a low boulder flanked by trees. "Why here?"
"Because there's a good spot for you to sit down," Leah said, chuckling, gathering leaves and twigs. She pulled a small, shallow bowl and matches from her backpack and pointed to the boulder, "Have a seat."
Bella did, only too grateful to be relieved of her own weight. Her internal maelstrom had exhausted her, and she'd hardly had enough energy to be depleted in the first place.
Bella watched Leah work at the small fire she started, sprinkling things from a small pouch over its orange flames. When she began to speak, it was in a language Bella didn't understand, but whose patterns she recognized from what felt like a long, long time ago.
Her words concluded, Leah sat beside Bella, and they waited for the flames to burn themselves out. Tipping the ashes into a damp patch of soil, Leah reached out to dip her thumb into them before smearing them carefully on Bella's neck. Then she ground out the last feeble sparks with the heel of her boot.
Bella felt like those sparks, the weight of her choice pressing her into that dirt.
Not long, she thought, as Leah kicked damp earth over the ashes.
"So now that we're done with that bullshit, what is it you really need me for?" Leah asked.
Hoping desperately that Esme and Rose were occupied with the children at that moment, Bella voiced her request in the quietest mumble she could manage. "I need you to get me out of here. I need to . . . go somewhere."
Leah glanced toward the house. "A jailbreak, huh?"
Bella nodded, trying to communicate with her eyes what she didn't dare say out loud, even this far from the house. Slipping her hand into her pocket, Bella quietly silenced her phone. She had already disabled the location setting while Leah was working.
Leah seemed to pick up on her desperation and studied her for a long moment before she said, "You got it."
It worked out better than Bella had expected. Leah had parked her car at the end of the driveway, well out of sight of the house. The two of them begin wandering in that direction as if they had nowhere to be and, although she kept expecting the front door to burst open, it never happened. Once they reached the car, she settled herself in the passenger seat as Leah got behind the wheel.
"Nothing like a hybrid for a quiet getaway." Leah chuckled, before she started the almost-silent engine and took off down the road.
Even with her heart in her throat, Bella felt a sense of relief. They would be missed quickly but, with the children still at the house, and with Leah blocking Alice's visions, no one would know which way to go to find her until it was too late.
Leah hadn't asked where they were going, and that was good, because Bella wasn't sure yet. Pulling out her phone, she replied to the text from Victoria. Then she closed her eyes and put her head back, praying she wasn't too late, and that this wasn't all in vain.
"So, when're you due?" Leah asked.
"A week or so," Bella answered automatically.
"Hmm," Leah said. "Are you worried about the baby?"
Bella opened her eyes and turned to look at Leah. Did she suspect something? "No," Bella replied, knowing even as she said the word how fierce a lie it was. But she had set this course and could not deviate from it. She saw no other way unless another bargain could be made . . .
Her phone buzzed with a reply as they were crossing Lion's Gate Bridge. Once she read it, she switched off her phone completely.
"Keep going north," she told Leah, who nodded in response. The set line of her friend's mouth told Bella that she was realizing they weren't here for the initial reason given.
"How far?"
"I'll tell you when we get there," Bella replied.
Some twenty minutes later, Leah pulled off the highway, drawing an alarmed, "This isn't it," from Bella.
"And just where is 'it', Bella? And for what?" She raised an eyebrow at her.
Bella swallowed. She couldn't say, yet. They needed to be close enough that Leah couldn't drag her away.
"Look," Leah began. "I'm not sure what's going on here but this isn't just you needing to get out of the house because you feel stifled and need a break. If I'm going to single-handedly start a war between my pack and your coven, I'd at least like to know the reason why."
Leah wasn't budging and Bella didn't blame her. When she heard Leah's phone begin to ring in her pocket, she knew she'd have to come clean if she meant to go through with this.
"I need your help."
"Yeah, I kinda got that. For what?" Leah asked, eyes narrowing. Leah's phone kept ringing. She ignored it.
Pulling in a controlled breath, Bella said, "I need you to take me somewhere and leave me, and then take someone else, maybe two people, back. And I need you to let me go, without trying to protect me." She stared, eyes blurring, hoping Leah understood. Hoping she didn't need to say the words. Hoping Leah would accept this choice. Leah's phone stopped ringing . . . then started up again.
Ignoring it, Leah stared right back at her, features pulled up in shrewd observation. "Your husband doesn't know, does he?"
"No." Her stomach twisted.
"Aaand that's why I'm really here." Leah muttered to herself.
"I'm sorry," Bella said softly.
"Is it—"
"It's really better if you don't ask, Leah," Bella said.
"Like hell it is. Is it her? The one that came after you? The one that took Charlie?"
"Yes." She leaned forward, trying to squash the anxiety in her gut. "If I don't do this, a girl dies. There's . . . there's even a chance Charlie might still be alive, and if I don't go, he could die too. And there's been—there have been enough people who've died in my place."
A painful ripple travelled over Leah's face as she glanced briefly at Bella's stomach. Bella laid a hand there but met Leah's gaze.
Yes. There had been enough.
"Okay," Leah said, making her decision. "Then I'm glad we did the smudging. You'll need all the protection you can get."
Bella watched Leah reach into her pocket and either turn off or silence her phone.
If Leah thought she had any kind of chance, walking into what she was walking into, Bella wished her well with her fantasies. There was no coming back from where she was going.
Leah pulled back onto the road, following Bella's directions. The midday traffic was negligible, and they were soon pulling off of the highway again, this time into the maw of Provincial Park. It was closed for the season, but the paths were ungated. The most northwards one was where Bella needed to go.
Leah said nothing as they both stood in front of the car, its warmth contrasting sharply with the chill of the day and the wind that whipped up the waters of the Sound.
Looking ahead, Bella stared at the path for some time, its sharp bend to the left leaving it mostly in the shadow of ancient conifers. The empty curve would likely see the last steps she ever took. Unless, of course, Victoria had plans—
Don't, she scolded herself. Don't think about it. Just think about Charlie and Chelsea, your children, Edward . . .
"Now or never," she mumbled.
Leah's face was like stone as Bella turned to face her. She handed over her phone and purse, tentatively putting a hand to the locket at her neck. She couldn't make herself undo the clasp, and let her hands fall.
"Thank you, Leah," she said."Tell Edward it was my decis—"
Leah shook her head and cut her off. "Not happening," she said gruffly. "I won't be anywhere near your husband after this, if I value my own life." She reached out and touched the ashes on Bella's neck before letting her hand fall to her side. "I'll wait here for ten minutes."
Bella nodded and then turned and walked away, her heartbeat quickening as she slowly approached the bend in the path. Nothing happened and no one appeared, so she kept walking. She began counting, trying to keep herself calm, wondering how long she would have to wait, pondering what she might say if there was a chance to bargain, at least for her baby's life. The lightheadedness that had plagued her for months returned, and she could feel her own heartbeat in her neck just before she stumbled over a root buried in leaves. Before she fell, a set of warm hands grabbed at her.
"Mrs. H.?" Chelsea sobbed. "Oh my God! Can you help me? There was this woman! She—"
"Yes," Bella breathed. "Yes. Keep walking. My friend Leah is waiting for you, just keep walking the direction you're going. Okay?"
"Please come with me," Chelsea said.
Bella got a better look at her. Chelsea was dirty, her clothes smelling like she'd been in them too long, but she appeared otherwise unharmed.
"You'll be okay," Bella said, a strange relief brewing in her midsection as she kept looking around them, hoping against hope to see a face even more dear to her. "My friend will drive you home. Just keep walking." She spoke more firmly. "Keep walking. Okay?"
"Okay." Chelsea's voice shook, but she nodded, wiping her face and turning to walk unsteadily away from Bella.
Bella watched Chelsea's figure disappear around the bend in the path and then, at last, felt the painful thwack to the back of her head that preceded blissful unawareness.
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.
