Once I started crying, it was hard to stop myself from out and out hysterically bawling. I felt completely overwhelmed and stressed. I was still crying into my knees so I couldn't see anything, plus I was making a lot of noise, but I did hear Evan say, "Holy smokes, what's the matter with the matter with the babies?" and Daniel replying, "I dunno, but looks like some drama."
I heard Adam say, "Crane, what's Heidi talkin' about? Somethin' about a promise?"
"I don't know," Crane said. "She's been upset since she came home from school, but she wouldn't tell me what's the matter. Said she couldn't, so I told her that if she made a promise to keep some sort of secret, it's okay to break them sometimes."
"Okay…," Adam said. He sounded confused.
"What's goin' on with Guthrie?" Brian asked.
"That was Mrs Whitby on the phone during supper," Adam said. "Apparently, Guthrie cheated on his math test today. Copied his friend's paper entirely."
"What?" Brian sounded shocked. "That's not like him at all!"
"I know. But he admitted it apparently. Though Mrs Whitby did say she was surprised because he's good at math, and the kid he copied from generally isn't."
"Did she say who he copied from?" Brian asked.
"Nope."
I longed to blurt out that the kid had been Michael. That Guthrie was just covering for him, but for some reason, something wouldn't let me. Plus, I was not enjoying the fact that my brothers were talking over my head and in a way, ignoring me. I mean I knew they were only trying to find out what was happening and so they weren't intentionally overlooking me, but that's what it felt like. I longed for a hug but was too proud to unfold myself and ask for one.
"I'm pretty sure that Heidi knows what's goin' on," Crane said.
"I'd bet on it," Adam said. "Brian, you take Heidi and I'm gonna go up to Guthrie and see if I can get any sense outta him."
"Yep," Brian said.
Then, I felt a light tap on my right knee. "Come on, kiddo. Come talk to me."
I lifted my head a little, happy that someone was finally paying attention to me. Brian was standing over me. When I lifted my head, he held out his hand.
"Come."
I immediately took Brian's hand and he pulled me up out of my chair and led me to the living room.
"Can someone grab some Kleenex and bring it through," he called behind us.
Brian led me to one of the couches and I sat down and curled my feet up underneath me. I grabbed one of the cushions there for comfort and hugged it to me. Daniel brought through some Kleenex and handed it to Brian who gave it to me. I wiped my eyes and nose, which was running liberally due to all the crying. Then Brian sat down on the coffee table facing me.
All I wanted was to be scooped up and held on someone's lap to be comforted. I love Brian to death, but I won't lie: he's sometimes not the most sympathetic of my brothers, and so I wished Crane was there, or Adam. It's not that Brian doesn't hug or coddle; he's kind, but having him face me meant I knew I could get away with less hysteria, I guess. Maybe that was a good thing.
I guess Daniel was hovering around because Brian said, "Give us a minute alone here, Danil, would ya?"
Brian turned his attention back to me. He leaned forward a bit.
"Alright then miss, what's goin' on?"
I hugged the couch cushion to me tighter, putting my head down into it.
Brian jiggled my knee gently.
"Come on, Heidi, you'll feel better if you talk to me."
"I can't!" I wailed.
"Why can't you?"
I took a shuddery breath and looked up at Brian.
"Because…"
"Because what?"
I wanted to talk to Brian, I did. And in the kitchen when I'd appealed to Guthrie, I'd been prepared to tell all. But now, Guthrie's words about me being responsible if Michael and his mom got hurt if I told were circulating my mind. So instead, I just lowered my head into the cushion again.
"Heidi," Brian said. He sounded frustrated. That made me start crying harder again.
Brian sighed.
"Okay, Heidi, just answer me this," he said, a bit more gently now- well, for Brian anyway. "Has there ever been a situation where you've needed help and Adam or me, or even one of the other boys hasn't been able to help you?"
I thought for a minute. If I was honest the answer was no: my brothers always seemed to be able to fix things for me.
"No," I said quietly.
"Right. You know why? Because that's what big brothers are for. We're here to make the lives of our little sister or brothers better."
Brian's words held an undertone of humor. I gave him a small smile through my tears.
Brian reached out to tickle under my chin lightly.
"Is that a smile I see?"
"No!"
"Hmm, I think it was. Let's try this again, shall we? I'm goin' to ask you questions and you answer yes or no, okay?"
That sounded doable.
"Okay," I agreed.
"Alright, so first question: do you know what happened with Guthrie and the test today at school?"
I nodded.
"Okay, good. Now, did Guthrie really copy another kid's answers?"
I paused, but then shook my head no slowly.
"K. Is Guthrie coverin' for someone else then?"
"Yes," I said.
"Can you tell me who he's coverin' for?"
I didn't want to tell, but at this point, I knew I kind of had no choice. Plus, I reasoned to myself; I wasn't really telling Brian what actually happened.
"Michael," I whispered.
Brian's forehead creased in thought. "Michael? Do I know him? Wait- is he that kid that's been over here a couple times?"
I nodded. "Yea, and you met his daddy at the Fall Street Dance. Remember? He was being mean and told you I was rude to him when I wasn't."
"Yea…" Brian said slowly. I could tell from his face that a realisation was starting to dawn on him. "I remember that guy."
"Crane?" he suddenly called through to the kitchen, surprising me.
Crane was there in an instant.
"What?"
"Can you sit with Heidi a bit? I need to go upstairs to Adam and Guthrie."
"Sure," Crane said, coming to sit next to me on the couch.
Brian cupped my face with both hands and kissed the top of my head quickly.
"Thanks for the info, kiddo," he said, before disappearing up the stairs.
Crane put his arm around me and pulled me close, finally giving me the cuddle I so craved. I sidled into him further, laying my head on his chest. I thought he might question me further, want to know what on earth was happening, but he didn't. He stretched his legs out on the coffee table and turned the TV on and we sat watching it. After a short while I pulled away a little and said quietly, "I don't want Guthrie to get punished."
I heard Crane chuckle softly.
"You don't want him to get a spanking, you mean?"
"It's not funny!" I protested, feeling a bit affronted.
Crane rubbed my arm soothingly.
"I know, I'm sorry little one. I wasn't laughing at that. Look, the guys are generally fair, aren't they?"
"Yea," I admitted.
"So, whatever is goin' on with Guthrie, they'll find out and if they think that a punishment is appropriate then it will be proportionate. Do you know what proportionate means?"
"I think so," I said. I could work out the meaning from the context of the sentence anyway. "Does it mean fair?"
"Yes. The punishment, if there is one, will be fair."
"I guess so," I said, though personally, I didn't think it was fair for Guthrie to be punished at all! He was only trying to help someone out- he would never have cheated otherwise.
Crane looked down at me.
"Do you have homework?"
I was loathed to admit that I did. I normally don't mind doing my homework- it's not a choice anyway so I'm used to it. Tonight though, I didn't feel like it at all.
"Yea…"
"Better come through to the kitchen and get it done then."
I gave Crane a pitiful look. "Do I have to?"
"You know the answer to that."
Crane stood up then and told me to get my homework from my bag. My homework was upstairs though, in my bedroom because I had taken it out my bag before I'd been to the library. When I told Crane this, he said I should quickly get it from my room, even though that's where Guthrie, Adam and Brian were talking.
I ran upstairs. The door to the bedroom that I shared with Guthrie was shut, but I could hear voices coming from inside, though I couldn't make out what was being said. Even though it was my room, I felt like I shouldn't just barge in, considering the circumstances, so I knocked lightly and then heard Adam's voice telling me to come in.
I opened the door a little and slid in. Brian was sitting on Guthrie's bed, facing Adam who was in the big chair that sat in the corner of our room, with his arms around Guthrie on his lap. Guthrie's face was tear streaked and puffy, like he'd been crying heavily. I cry like that all the time, but it's not often to see Guthrie in that way and it tugged at my heart.
"Crane told me to get my homework," I said, by way of explanation for why I was there.
Adam smiled at me.
"Good idea, honey."
Guthrie didn't look at me. He kept his head buried into Adam and the conversation that was going on seemed to halt while I was in the room. I quickly got my homework which I'd left on my bed and left the room.
I took my homework downstairs and through to the kitchen. My other brothers were just finishing up theirs. They all looked at me in interest as I walked in.
"What's all the drama about?" Evan asked me as I sat down.
I was done with talking for the evening though.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said moodily.
Is Guthrie okay?" Ford asked, sounding worried. He and Guthrie are really close.
"He's with Adam and Brian upstairs," I said.
"Did he really cheat?" asked Daniel.
I looked to Crane for help.
"Give her a break, fellas. If you're done with your homework, go do something else."
The boys grumbled, but they obeyed Crane. Evan and Daniel were done and so Daniel went through to the living room and Evan said he was going to say goodnight to Diablo and left via the back door. Ford took a little longer to finish his homework, but he didn't bug me any longer.
I gave Crane a small smile to say thanks and he smiled back and winked at me. He sat at the table with me too, reading his book while I did my homework. I was very tired with the events and emotion of the day, and so concentrating wasn't so easy, but having Crane there, sitting with me was a motivator. Plus, he helped me a bit more than he ever would have normally when I had a question. Usually, he said I should do things by myself as much as poissble.
After I'd done my homework, Crane told me to go on upstairs and take a shower.
"It'll make you feel better," he said.
I went back upstairs to my bedroom. The door was a little ajar this time, rather than being fully closed, but I still knocked before I went in. Guthrie was fast asleep on Adam now.
"Crane told me to take a shower," I said, still hovering at the entrance to the door.
"Good idea," Brian said, echoing Adam's words earlier.
My bedding had been changed by Brian that day while I was at school, and so the pyjamas I'd been wearing had also gone downstairs to be washed. I rummaged in my pyjama drawer, deciding which ones to wear, while Adam and Brian talked quietly about whether to wake Guthrie for a shower or not.
"I think we should leave him," Brian said. "Poor little guy's worn out."
"Yea," Adam said. "I'll get him up a little bit earlier tomorrow to take a shower."
"You okay, baby?" Adam said, looking over at me then.
I nodded. Adam smiled at me.
"We'll read in my room tonight, so we don't wake Guth, okay?"
I agreed and then finally chose a pair of pyjamas- yellow with white stars on them- and carted them to the bathroom with me.
Once I was there though, I decided that I didn't want to wear them after all. They weren't bobbly enough. I'm very particular about the pyjamas that I wear: I like them to be as old and worn and soft as possible.
I padded back to my room quietly, but something stopped me from going straight in. It could be because although Adam and Brian were talking quietly, most likely so they didn't wake Guthrie, I heard Brian use a string of curses to describe Michael's dad. Things I'd never heard before and things that I had head, that if I ever dared say in the presence of my oldest brothers, they'd immediately wash my mouth out with soap.
"I've got a good mind to go on over there now and teach that son of a bitch a lesson. See how he likes pickin' on someone his own size," Brian said. His voice was low, but he sounded furious.
"Oh that's a great plan," Adam said sarcastically, "Just great. You'd end up in jail and then where would be? No, we gotta handle this properly."
