This bonus chapter is dedicated especially to my faithful reviewers Bow Echo; CreativeGirl29;Thunderbird5;Miniman and Helensg. Thank you guys for your lovely reviews, and I'm only sorry I've not had chance to get back to any of you in person. This is a special bonus chapter just for you. (But I hope everyone else will enjoy it too!)

"John?"

John looked up and smiled at his grandmother.

"Grandma, hi. Is everything okay?"

Sally Tracy held out an envelope. It was fairly large, in a plain white, and instead of a stamp, it held the franked mark of an Isle Of Man Convent. John blinked. Grandma's brow furrowed.

"John, is there a reason you're receiving letters from a convent? You're not about to…er…are you?"

John shook his head hurriedly.

"No grandma, of course not. You remember at Harvard I became close to someone? We even exchanged promise rings…"

Grandma nodded.

"Of yes, I remember meeting her when you graduated. Ellie something wasn't it? What about her?"

"She became a nun, grandma. She left me to dedicate herself to God. This is her convent…apparently she was transferred to the Isle Of Man about ten years ago."

"You've kept in touch with her?"

John shook his head, sadly.

"I wish I had grandma. It's just that I've never been able to forget her, and I still love her as much as I ever did. Since Virgil and Isla…"

"Aww Johnny!"

Grandma swept him into a hug.

"Seeing Virgil, Scott and Gordon so happy got you over-thinking again huh?"

John shrugged.

"Something like that. Brains suggested I go pay her a visit…to say goodbye. To close the book on her properly, so I made some calls to find her address, and then wrote to her convent asking permission to visit."

"So this will be their response? I had better let you get on then. Kid, remember, I am here if you need me."

"Thanks grandma."

John took the envelope to his room and sat on the edge of his bed, fingering it. It was rather thick for a simple note saying `yes' or `no'. Heart thumping suddenly, he opened the envelope and pulled out its contents.

He found himself holding a sealed envelope with Ellie's recognizable writing on the front, addressed to "John Glenn Tracy"; and a simple covering note from the Prioress of the convent.

"Dear Mister John Tracy

It is with a great deal of sadness and regret that I have to impart to you in this somewhat cold and impersonal manner, news of the tragic death of Sister Marie-Agneta… known to you as Ellie Yeates. She spoke very fondly of you before her death and requested that the enclosed letter be sent to you should you ever contact us requesting news of her.

She died of heart-failure; apparently a defect inherited from her father, but she was an inspiration to all of us who knew her. You perhaps would like to know, she died with your name on her lips.

Feel free to contact me on the above address if you have any further questions and please accept my deep and sincerest condolences.

Yours Faithfully

Sister Therese, Prioress."

John blinked.

Ellie was…gone? Dead? Suddenly his heart was in his mouth, something massive and impassable lodged in his throat, and his heart beat so hard and fast it felt like it were trying to beat its way out of his chest. The urge to cry came upon him so strongly, it took everything John had to force back the tears. He took a deep, and very shaky breath to try and steady himself, and tore open the letter from Ellie.

Refusing to blink, forcing back the tears once again, John unfolded Ellie's letter and started to read;

"My Darling John

You know, I had always half hoped you would come back to visit me. You know, to see how I am, catch up a bit, wish me well; but in my heart of hearts I knew that you never would. You feel things very deeply, but you hate to show it. You prefer to keep everything hidden from the world. Even from me. For you to return to visit me would have reopened that wound I inflicted on you.

At this point, I perhaps should apologize for leaving you, John. For turning my back on your love which was so special to both of us. The thing is, my decision to dedicate myself to God was not made lightly. Perhaps there are better ways I could have shown my devotion, but at the time I didn't know of one. It was a vocation…an actual need. My need to serve God warring against my need to be with you. It was the hardest decision I have ever made, and even now how can I possibly say I regret it? I cannot regret a choice to serve my creator can I? What I do regret is the pain and heartbreak I know I have caused to you, and also to myself.

You possibly won't believe me when I say that I have missed you and thought of you every day since the day I last saw you. The day you ran away. At the time I thought you had betrayed me. I was angry and upset. I have come to realize that I was the one who betrayed you. How many people are fortunate enough to have such a love as we two had? And yet I turned my back on it. Perhaps if I had confided in you, you would have been able to come up with an alternative. A way I could devote myself to helping people in God's name without having to lose you. But the past is gone, and there can be no going back.

I have written this letter with instructions to my Prioress that it should be sent to you in the event that you either visit in person or attempt to contact me by any other means. I could not possibly leave this world without making my peace with you…my dearest friend.

You see, I have been increasingly sick of late. I learned about two years ago that I have inherited from my father the heart defect that killed him. I have been growing steadily weaker, and now it is almost my time to go.

I would have directed that this letter be sent to you immediately upon my death, but I have been hoping and still hope that you never get to read this. That you have learned to forget me, or even hate me. That in some way or other my loss will pass you by unnoticed, since I have already caused you untold pain, albeit a long time ago.

For what it is worth, I am so sorry for leaving you. For hurting you. I need you to know that I have had a good life, and managed to give hope to many people whilst I have been here.

If you have loved me all this time, dear friend, then please do me one more favour. Something that I wish beyond all else.

Be happy, John.

Find someone who deserves you; and be happy. Think of me occasionally… perhaps you might consider naming your first daughter after me…you could tell her of the crazy woman who had the chance to marry John Tracy, but instead went to a tiny convent on the Isle Of Man.

Goodbye my love.

Ellie Yeates."