CHAPTER 74
Each resident of the Autobot base retired one after the other to reload. Or sleep, as humans said. When Wing walked past the infirmary, he found Father John at Glacius's berth side. When Wing got closer, he saw that the priest was dozing. A sponge which had probably been used to cleanse the Minicon in a coma had slipped from his hands, falling to the ground.
Wing couldn't help but smile, touched by the scene. Father John had spent a lot of time at Glacius' berth side in recent days. He wanted to keep his promise, to watch over him. At least until Swelter came back. They did not know whether the fiery Minicon would end hostilities after what had happened to his comrade. Wing did not know their relationship, whether they were close enough or not. But in any case, Glacius had someone taking care of him.
Without a sound, Wing slowly bent down to take Father John gently in one of his servos, before getting up to carry the priest towards his bed. On the way, Father John murmured incomprehensible words in his sleep, even though Wing recognized the term "mom", which made him chuckle, despite himself.
"A real guardian angel."
After he dropped Father John, Wing turned around. Gasket was facing him, his back pressed against the wall, a smirk on his lips.
"Anyone would do that," replied Wing quietly.
"You are close, from what I see" noticed the green bot, uncrossing his arms. "You watch over each other."
"He was my guide… before I found Outrigger, Karan and the Autobots. I only had him. And that relationship has remained since."
Wing put a digit to his mouth, inviting his mentor to whisper. Gasket got the message and made a gesture, indicating "my mouth is sewn". When they left the room, they were able to resume speaking normally. Wing gently opened his frame to emanate the stone that the human had offered him, showing it to Gasket who whistled in admiration.
"It is very beautiful."
"I offered one to Father John... from Messatine" smiled Wing. "After making sure it wasn't contaminated, of course."
"Did you go to Messatine?" Gasket replied, not even hiding his admiration in his voice. "My student has accomplished great things."
"To Frayus and ... to Arkus, too."
He found it difficult to pronounce the name of the City, which today was no more than a cemetery.
"... It wasn't your fault" said Gasket simply, surely noticing Wing's emotion. "You know it."
He did not continue and Wing was grateful to him. He didn't want to talk about it. Wing felt someone absently grab his servo. The white bot looked down and smiled softly, silently returning Gasket's embrace. When they crossed the corridor, they encountered the Cyclops who jumped when they saw them. Wing gave him a half-amused, half-stern smile when he saw her still standing.
"Outrigger is going to yell tomorrow, if you don't get up" Wing commented.
"... I was just chatting."
"With your boyfriend?" Gasket sneered.
His question hit the bull's eye. Karan turned his back on them, crossing her arms.
"When do you introduce him to us?" Wing joked. "Outrigger may be against it, if he doesn't like him."
"He already knows him. But you ! You!" she cried, turning around, pointing a digit at them.
"What "we"?" Gasket repeated, astonished.
"I feel like you two need to be alone," Karan chuckled before fleeing, humming.
Wing and Gasket shared a smile. She was desperate. But she was enjoying her youth at least. When the two made their way to the bedrooms and Gasket was on the verge of entering his, Wing did not withdraw his servo. The green bot turned his head towards him, looking slightly surprised.
"... Are you sleeping with me tonight?" Wing suggested.
It was something natural, after all. They often did. Gasket blinked. He hadn't expected his invitation. And somewhere, Wing felt a twinge of spark at the memories they had shared. Nevertheless, he continued to smile.
"…You want me in?" simply asked his mentor.
"... As long as you don't vanish during my recharge."
He meant it sincerely. Don't leave me anymore. Don't leave me anymore. Wing had made him promise. And not keeping a promise was against honour. Gasket just nodded, understanding the message. He followed his pupil and closed the door behind them. Wing was the first to lie down in his place, soon joined by his mentor who settled down beside him.
It was strange ... it was not the same feeling as before. Wing and Gasket had recharged so often next to each other ... but something was different this time. Something that was both pleasant and unpleasant ...
He erased your memories. Wing bit his lip, staring at the ceiling.
"Is there something wrong?" Gasket asked him gently.
"... No" Wing lied. "I'm just tired. You have to recharge. Tomorrow ... we'll go with Father John to pick up material that we could use from a landfill."
"Hm."
Gasket turned to the side, plunging his optics into his. Wing gave him a tender smile, telling him that everything was fine when it was not.
"I must admit that I haven't visited Earth much. I was too busy hiding. Are there any cool spots?"
"Lake Tekapo," replied Wing. "We often go there with Father John. This is our place. I'll take you there, if you want."
"…Gladly."
Wing felt Gasket approaching him. Again, the same thought returned. The one who kept telling him that Gasket, the same one who was recharging next to him now, had erased his memories. Wing was trying to ignore it but it was too hard. He didn't want to spoil it. He didn't want to spoil his reunion, his moments. He didn't want to mention Heavenlight.
But in the end, his voice rose.
"... When we went to Frayus ... the Mortilus artifact revealed our future to us. To everyone."
Gasket tensed. He looked worried. Wing took a breath.
"... I was with Father John. At Lake Tekapo. There were three of us ... Him ... Me ... and a little Cybertronian."
Gasket did not react. Wing closed the optics, searching for his words.
"... She was my daughter, I think. I will have a daughter ... in the future."
"A daughter…"
This reaction ... the one he'd expected. His lips which started to tremble. It was obvious enough. Wing read his mentor like an open book.
But he quickly pulled himself together, before emitting a measured smile.
"... It's rather a beautiful vision"
"Maybe I would adopt her," Wing surmised.
"... Or maybe you will have her with someone."
Talk to me, Gasket, Wing thought. I just want you to tell me about her. Your relationship ... yours with Heavenlight ... I just want to know. Please.
"... I doubt it" only said Wing, hiding his trembling in his voice.
"Why not?"
Wing flinched despite himself when he felt Gasket's arms wrap around his shoulderplates. But it was not unpleasant ... his simple touch pushed bad thoughts away from the processor of the white bot.
"... I moved on" Wing continued.
"Perhaps," said Gasket. "Nothing forces you to have a relationship now. You have to be ready and want it. But if the Hand of Mortilus showed you this future ... you shouldn't reject it."
Yes. The future looked bright ... but a weight prevented him from fully appreciating it.
A burden ... because this girl was not Heavenlight, it didn't matter how much she looked like her.
Wing felt Gasket's servo touch his cheek. He closed the optics, enjoying the warm, loving touch from his mentor as Gasket's face moved closer to his.
Their chassis touched. And, as if by automatism, Wing stretched out his arms to return the embrace, hugging him around his waist.
"When ... when you're ready" said Gasket, "I think there will be a lot of mechs who want to bond with you, Wing. A lot, even."
When Wing opened them again, he noticed how close his mentor was, almost feeling his raspy breath caress his face. The green bot remained silent for long minutes, as if hesitating to confess something.
"... I want your happiness, Wing. I've always wanted it."
"I want yours too, Gasket," replied Wing tenderly.
"That's why I supported you and Drift. Back when you were together. He made you happy, more than anyone. Even if, at the time, I already wanted to ..."
He didn't finish his sentence. Gasket recovered, having a hard time hiding the tremors in his voice.
"… I would have liked…"
"Gasket?"
Silence fell. But even if Gasket had stopped, Wing had already understood what he meant.
He had frequented this kind of feeling too many times to ignore it.
Gasket's servo left his face. Wing wanted to take it and taste it again. But instead, his body remained motionless.
"... Sorry" apologized Gasket sadly.
Sorry… It was not a pardon for admitting feelings.
This forgiveness ... He was waiting for it. It was the one for erasing his memories.
Gasket turned his back on him. The conversation was over. No one said a word.
"And that?" Offered Father John, who emerged from the rubble to show an object that Wing found it difficult to identify.
The white bot widened the optics, before sighing sadly.
"…No. It's not our technology, Father John."
"Excuse me."
"Do not apologize. You don't need to do it."
He wanted to do well. Wing stooped down to search again. After half an hour, the two stopped to catch their breath. They had been here for about three hours and they hadn't found anything yet. Might as well take a break. They needed it.
"It reminds me of when I was a kid" said Father John between two fifths. "I could wander around the garden for hours looking for treasures."
"Treasures?"
"Diamonds ... money ... something precious. I loved taking care of myself."
"… Even as young, you were already an adventurer" Wing commented, amused.
Yet Wing couldn't take advantage of the present moment. It was like something that caught his spark, preventing him from feeling pure emotions of happiness at the idea of sharing this moment of adventure with humans.
And it was even more evident when Father John turned in his direction, a teasing smile on his face.
"I heard you, by the way."
"About what?" asked Wing, not understanding what he wanted to talk about.
"With Gasket. You spend all your time together."
Indeed…
"... We are making up for lost time."
"... I have the impression that there is not only friendship between you. I am wrong?"
Wing let his arms fall to his side. Only silence answered him.
Father John's smile disappeared through his lack of reaction. Wing lowered his head, not knowing what to answer.
"... You don't have to answer me, if you don't want to" reassured the human.
"…I do not know."
He himself ignored his feelings. Gasket had always been his mentor ... He had always been there for him. And following yesterday's confession, Wing had been thinking all night, analyzing his feelings point by point.
"… You want more? With him?"
Maybe in normal times, he wouldn't have thought that much. Maybe that wouldn't have bothered him. That there was something more than a relationship between mentor and student. After all, he did have a relationship with Drift, his student. And Gasket had always been there for him ... he had always supported him, had always been gentle ...
"... Maybe" said Wing. "Maybe I would have liked more if ... there hadn't been history with ... with Heavenlight. And his role in it."
These words were hard to pronounce. He felt like he was ungrateful, to blame the one who had given him a purpose in life. To the one he had spent so much time looking for.
But he couldn't pretend. Father John used his white cane to get closer to him.
"Nothing forces you, Wing."
"I know. He told me so himself."
"You always have a choice."
"Once ... I was told that I was trying to fill a void. The void left by someone else's presence. It would not be fair for Gasket or for me to fill a void with his presence."
If he didn't really love Gasket, anyway ... if he was just trying to fill something ...?
It wouldn't be fair to anyone. And that wouldn't even treat his mentor for fair value.
"... It would not be your type, Wing" assured Father John. "It is obvious when you love someone."
"Thanks to your developed senses?" asked the white bot.
"I think a person with all their senses would feel it too."
He really had the words to reassure him. Wing nodded, even if Father John couldn't see him. The white Cybertronian felt the little human hand tapping the metal of his own. He let him do it, let him stay by his side to give him the comforting presence he needed.
For a long time, Wing felt like his bad thoughts, the same ones that had eaten them up the day before, slowly drained away from his processor. He allowed himself to smile, thanking Father John for all his spark with a warmth he thought he had lost.
"...And you? With Mary?"
"Hm?"
"Is there ... any chance you will ever get back together?"
They had been together. They watched over each other and would have formed an endearing couple. But Father John only answered him with a full smile of regrets.
" None, Wing."
"I see."
"But we will always be together. Whatever happens."
Whatever happens. Wing was nonetheless satisfied with the response. But as they were about to get back to work, a light suddenly appeared in front of them, at the entrance to the dump.
Wing and Father John froze. A ground-bridge… No. A space bridge. Wing recognized the gleam. Not liking this, and even if he did not take his sword from the sheath, the white bot placed himself in front of the human in prevention of a possible danger.
But he was paralyzed when he saw a familiar figure appear from the light. Wing widened the optics, recognizing the purple bot who walked in their direction, optics closed.
"Fracture?" called Wing, surprised.
The surprise was apparently shared. Fracture kept his mouth ajar, staring at Wing as if he hadn't expected to find him there either.
"... You ... you weren't supposed to be there" whispered Fracture, looking away as if to avoid looking at him.
"What are you doing on Earth?" asked Wing, dumbfounded.
Fracture did not respond immediately. In the end, he looked for something on the ground. And when his red optics landed on Father John, he stopped searching.
"... I have the USB key with the reversed algorithm" he announced blankly.
"Thank you, Fracture."
Did they know each other? But how? Father John quickly justified it, informing him that he had contacted Drift with the help of Outrigger.
"…What for?" he asked him softly, incredulous.
"He will explain to you" replied Fracture simply, holding out a USB key, which Father John recovered. "I could not access all the files. One is locked, but I couldn't open it."
"It's already good" Father John said.
"You can use the algorithm."
"An algorithm?" repeated Wing, hearing the word for the second time. "What are you talking about?"
He was usually patient, but emotions quickly increased due to not knowing, even though his tone remained calm.
Fracture sighed lightly as Father John turned in his direction. The sadness in his eyes hit him ... sadness, as well as a hint of embarrassment.
"... I called him because I wanted to help you, Wing."
Then he explained to him. He explained everything to him.
" …Why?"
Wing didn't even try to cover up the turmoil that crushed his entire body. Fracture kept his arms crossed, his face dark while Father John kept his head down, his expression had not changed since a while ago.
"…Why ? Why would the Diamond give you this USB drive?" Wing questioned him again, his throat tight. "It ... it doesn't make sense."
"I don't know myself. But I think ... the Diamond wanted to fulfill my wish to help you in this ordeal" mumbled the priest, low tone.
Wing shook his helm.
No. He didn't admit it.
"... This Diamond caused the destruction of the city it was supposed to protect, Father John! Do you understand?"
"I knew it ... but I knew it too late," said the priest.
He paused.
"I thought ... I thought I could do something. You ... you were hurt, Wing. You were suffering. When I knew what the program on that USB drive could do ... I thought I could use it to help you. To find your memories ..."
Wing kept his jaw clenched.
No. He couldn't take it anymore.
"These are the same reasons which pushed Dai Atlas to erase these same memories, Father John!"
He was tired of this speech. He was tired of these speeches.
They stole your daughter's memories for your good. Now that you know and are in pain, they give it back to you.
"I know…" admitted Father John, his face cracked. "I know that…"
"But you all say you know! You know everything!" cried Wing, tears rising to the optics. "What do you know, exactly? What is for my good or not? Can't you leave my memories alone? Can't you leave me alone?"
He was angry ... he was angry with getting mad at Father John. But he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't climb the slope any more.
He never wanted to hurt you, tried to think Wing. No one wanted to harm you.
Unexpectedly, it was Fracture who intervened in place of the human.
"He wanted to help you, Wing. That's all. He thought he was doing well."
"I know…" replied Wing, taking his face in his servos.
I know he thought he was doing well ... He never had any bad intentions.
Just like Dai Atlas, Gasket…
He inhaled. He expired. Once he had caught his breath, Wing continued, in a slightly calmer tone.
"He thought he was doing well ..."
"I didn't want to force anything on you Wing. I swear to you" Father John said. "I would never have returned these memories to you without your consent. Without you choosing it. I just wanted to ... give you the choice to do it if one day it got too complicated."
Wing felt a tear moisten his left cheek. He wiped it away, not even trying to hide his grief.
No one wanted to harm you. So why was it difficult? Fracture lowered the optics towards Father John, who was holding the USB key in his hands.
"You were already suffering, Wing. Drift and Father John just tried to ease your pain in one way or another. And I think that's what everyone wanted to do"
No words came from Wing's mouth. The space bridge was still open.
Fracture turned on his heel, ready to leave and return to Cybertron. But before that, he unexpectedly addressed to him.
"… When are you going to talk to Drift? ? When are you going to stop ignoring his calls?"
Wing had no response. He just lowered his head, his optics on the USB key that Father John kept against him, as if to protect the solution that would allow him to recover his memories.
"… You were close, after all" added Fracture.
"… Nothing will go back to how it was before, Fracture."
It was a fact. Even with all the help, all the will that Wing wanted to have, to be close to Drift again as it was in its beginnings in the Circle of Light ... it was not possible. It was not possible to pretend that nothing had happened and that everything went back to how it was before.
"Yeah. But you need each other" replied Fracture rather dryly.
"Fracture ..."
"Look" cut him Fracture, in a slightly less cold tone. "I like you, Wing. Seriously, I'm really sorry for you and everything that has happened to you. Losing a child, I don't even dare imagine the pain."
He paused, closing the optics as he searched for his words.
"… I'm a parent, too. If something happened to Night, Divebomb, Airazor ... I don't know how I would react, but I know I would react badly. But even if I like you, I think above all about Drift."
Of course. Of course, he thought of him first. Wing understood this.
"... You are not the only one to have suffered from this situation" added Fracture. "Drift suffered enormously and he wanted above all to protect you. But it cost a lot. That's why he told you the truth."
"…I am sorry…"
He was. Yes. Drift had suffered. In reality, they had all suffered ... and it was only to preserve it.
And he ... was harsh. He did not forgive them for hiding the truth from him to preserve him, when they had suffered just as much as he did. Silently, he looked at Father John.
"... Dai Atlas didn't really exile him, you know" added Fracture.
"What do you mean?" asked Wing in surprise.
"... He killed Lockdown. But he also asked Dai Atlas if he could leave. Because he couldn't take it anymore" said the purple bot. "He could no longer bear to lie. Do you understand, Wing? It cost him his place in the Circle of Light. It cost him his first family. He was the one who told me."
Again, Wing's face cracked.
He had always believed that Dai Atlas had exiled Drift ... as he had exiled Gasket before him. But in reality… In reality, Drift had asked him to leave ...?
Because he could no longer lie.
Again, Wing took another blow on the club. By reflex, he approached Father John, as if it were a silent request to forgive him for his outburst.
Drift had sacrificed a lot ... and he hadn't been the only one.
"… Fracture?"
"What?"
"Thank you," said Wing, smiling despite the tears. "Thanks for these informations."
He had opened his optics. He had opened his optics to his behavior.
"…You're welcome. Consider it my thanks for Airazor" replied the purple bot, tone detached.
He didn't have to thank him. Fracture gave him a simple nod, which Wing returned. After a final goodbye, Fracture rushed into the space bridge. A few minutes later, the latter disappeared in front of the last remaining.
Again, Wing looked down at Father John. His hat covered his eyes, preventing him from discerning his upset expression.
Wing wiped the optics again. He lowered himself carefully towards Father John. In a calm and sincerely grateful tone, the white bot apologized with all his being.
"…Excuse me."
"Do not apologize. You don't need to do it."
Father John took off his hat, before wiping his eyes in turn.
"I never pretended to force anything on you, to give you back your memories so that you suffer, without your authorization ... I could not hear you anymore, Wing. I suffer for you. I really suffer for you."
"... It is not yours to suffer for me, Father John" said Wing tenderly.
"And it's not yours to mourn alone."
They were right. Both ... they were right.
And Wing couldn't hold it against him. He might have been wrong to resent so much Drift ... Dai Atlas ... Gasket ...
Maybe he shouldn't reject Gasket ... Mistakes were coming. But we learned from our failures. if we were given the opportunity. Wing returned his attention to the USB drive before sighing.
"… I don't know yet what I want to do with this."
"Take your time. There's no rush, Wing. But don't do something you don't want. This decision ... it's up to you alone."
Rediscovering memories of a daughter he'd had ... or forgetting her and not suffering anymore? He didn't know what was the best decision.
The right choice. Wing stood up. Without a word, he began to compose the coordinates sought.
Fracture had shown him the example. He had to follow it. Wing raised his servo to his headset, waiting for the connection to be established.
"… Wing?"
"Drift. It's me."
He could tell the surprise and confusion on the other end of the line. As well as a little relief ... Wing smiled bitterly.
If he knew what his future Conjunx had told him just now ...
"I just wanted to tell you ... sorry. Sorry to have suffered so much because of me ... You, Gasket, Dai Atlas ..."
He closed the optics, taking in an inspiration.
"I'm sorry ... for all this."
He couldn't hear Drift's answer.
A deaf noise behind him caught his attention. Immediately, Wing turned.
The only thing he saw was Father John on the ground, overpowered by a human dressed in black.
The next moment, a drone appeared in front of him, hiding his vision.
Wing found himself dazzled by flashes of light which blinded and considerably affected his vision, before receiving a violent electric shock.
A drone ... not Cybertronian ...
"John!" he cried out.
But Father John never answered him. Wing collapsed to the ground, as a voice echoed through his audios, repeating the same words, over and over:
Threat neutralized! Target down! Take them! Take them!
