Elizabeth gazed out the front window, watching the snow as it drifted up over the porch. Not able to take her walk to the school and back today, she was restless. Jack and Violet were napping, Julie and Rosemary were talking over fashion magazines at the harvest table, and Allie was doing her reading homework in her room. Making a decision, Elizabeth got her coat, hat and gloves and pulled a broom from the mudroom.
Rosemary frowned at her. "Elizabeth, what on earth are you doing?"
"I'm going to sweep the snow off the porch," Elizabeth said, as if this was entirely normal behavior in a near-blizzard.
"You're... wh... what?" Rosemary said, horrified.
"It's starting to drift up over the porch, Rosemary. People won't be able to get out or in. I want to keep it clear," Elizabeth said, buttoning her coat all the way to her neck. A scarf, that's what I need, to put across my mouth and nose, she thought, heading back to the mudroom.
Rosemary stood and followed her. "Well, yes, that's the very logical answer, but why do you have to do it? It's freezing out there. Stay in here where it's warm. Lee or Archie can do it when they come back this evening," Rosemary always used her hands liberally in situations like this. She looked as if she might take off any minute.
Julie looked up from the magazine in front of her. "You're wasting your breath, Rosemary. When my sister gets that look on her face, there's no swaying her from doing just exactly what she wants to do." Julie looked at Elizabeth. "Is there, sister?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "No, not really," she said, wrapping the scarf around her face. The truth was, she was now so warm all bundled up inside the already warm house, that she couldn't wait to step outside.
Rosemary frowned and sighed, and then pulled out her last possible argument. "But... what about the babies?"
Elizabeth pulled the scarf down from her face and smiled at her friend. "I love how you're both calling them babies, plural. We don't know that for certain, Rosemary."
Fluttering her hands, Rosemary said, "I just have a feeling, that's all."
Her friend looked so distressed that Elizabeth went to her and gently held her arms. "It will be fine, Rosemary. Babies like exercise too, in fact, they need it. I won't overdo. I just need to do something... I need to..."
Julie stood and joined them, putting her arms around both. "You need to not think about Nathan out there doing what he does so well, helping people. If he's out in the cold and the snow, you need to be too, if only for a little while," she said softly.
Elizabeth looked at Julie gratefully. Her voice was almost a whisper. "Yes."
Rosemary took a deep breath and nodded. "Well, alright then," she said, wrapping the scarf back around Elizabeth's face. "The minute you feel cold, or you're tired, you come back in. And we're going to watch you from the window."
"Thank you," Elizabeth said. "It won't take long."
She stepped outside and immediately the feeling of claustrophobia eased. Elizabeth knew she really was an outdoor person at heart, and though winters were very beautiful, they were hard on her, keeping her housebound.
The months ahead wouldn't be easy for that reason. She'd been in her last months with little Jack in the winter, and she remembered it all very well. The worry about slipping on the ice, especially when her feet weren't always visible, just the bulk of her getting in and out of wagons and cars, needing to sit on the benches in town and coming to the realization that they were perfectly placed for her to go from one to the next before being out of breath, since her lungs were squeezed into half the space they'd been used to. And how could two babies possibly...
Stop it, she said to herself. Rosemary would be grateful for one minute of that discomfort if she could carry her own child. Elizabeth touched her stomach through the layers of clothing. I am so very happy about this.
The snow was so dry that it was almost weightless, and sweeping it off the porch was easy at this point. If she waited any amount of time, there would be boot prints compressing the snow into small icy patches that would require scraping. Elizabeth was careful to sweep in front of her steps, and the snow flew off the porch effortlessly.
The blowing snow was icy and stung her eyes, but as she worked she warmed up and soon she felt the numbness leave the tips of her fingers. It took her some time to clear the entire porch, and the wind kept blowing more snow on to it, but every time she considered going back inside to the warm fire and replenishing her cup of tea, she thought of Nathan.
Elizabeth squinted her eyes against the unending white in front of her as she rested for a moment on the broom handle.
Where is he now? He'd been out since the morning and it was now close to two o'clock. She knew that wasn't all time spent on Bear in the snow; Nathan and Bill would be asked in for coffee and warm fresh-baked bread at the majority of the farms they visited.
Most of the people in outlying areas loved their Mounties and wanted to let them know how much. Nathan would often come home from these rounds with jars of homemade jam and honey, peppered beef jerky, preserved peaches, cinnamon applesauce and other delicious gifts. He had learned not to even try to refuse them on the basis that it was "just his job." If he said no, children would be sent out to Bear to tuck things in his saddlebags while he wasn't looking and he would find them when he got home. So now, he simply smiled and said thank you, realizing that it almost did more for them than for him.
Elizabeth turned and, as promised, Julie and Rosemary were peering out the windows at her. She waved and lowered the scarf for a moment to smile at them. She was grateful that they cared so much.
She turned and swept more of the piles off the porch, and she already felt better. Exercise always did that for Elizabeth, but she was definitely feeling constricted by her waistband. She made a plan to see which of her skirts could be let out for the time being. That should take her all afternoon, and then Nathan would be home.
As she finished up, she looked again and Rosemary was holding Violet on one side of the door, while Julie held Jack on the other. Jack, especially, found Mama very amusing all bundled up in the snow. His little hand was on the glass and she went over and kissed it. Though she couldn't hear him, she knew exactly what his giggle sounded like.
Life is good, Elizabeth thought with gratitude. In front of the window she brushed the snow off of her hat and her shoulders, making Jack laugh again. Then, stomping her boots, she opened the door and went inside. She couldn't wait to hold her precious boy.
Nathan narrowed his eyes and could just barely make out Bill's outline on the trail ahead of him. The snow was so thick up here in the mountains that Bear was struggling more than a little with his footing. Nathan knew how far he could push his horse, and the conditions were moving in the direction of too far.
"Bill!" Nathan called, cupping his heavy leather gloves around his mouth so he could be heard. "We need to think about heading toward the cabin!"
Bill stopped and Nathan pulled alongside. They were both angling their heads against the snow. Bill nodded and said, "You're right."
Taking a sharp left, Bill led out toward a hunting cabin he knew well. He had sheltered there a number of times, and it was not only usually well-stocked, but it also had protected stalls for the horses to get them out of the weather.
They both knew they could ride back down, but it would be treacherous, and the fact was, they still hadn't found the missing trapper, John Sutherland. They'd been following his trapline for miles, and were nearing the end of it. Both knew from experience that when they found him, it would probably be too late, but every Mountie also had a story of finding someone just in time and saving a life. Sutherland was a husband and a father of four children.
Nathan had his own memory of being close to death and hoping to be rescued. When he had looked up and seen Elizabeth through the haze of semi-consciousness, it had seemed like a dream to him. She had become his angel that night, and he'd made a silent promise then that he wouldn't give up on people who needed his help, even if it seemed past hope.
After another twenty or so tortuous minutes, Nathan could see Bill turn toward a clearing in the trees. Nathan took stock quickly. His hands and feet were cold but not cold enough for frostbite. He was sore from a long freezing ride, but doing well. Interestingly, the most painful part of his body right now was his leg, just below the knee, where the break had occurred. It was a good reminder now, and probably always would be, to take good care of his body and not do anything foolish.
Nathan could see the shelter for the horses now, just a simple lean-to under heavy tree cover that was miraculously almost free of snow except for a few drifts. He also saw a fair amount of deadfall that he knew would serve well for a fire.
"I'll get the horses settled, you start a fire inside," Bill said, finally able to stretch out his neck under the shelter. Nathan handed Bear's reins to him, put his saddlebags and bedroll over his arm, picked up as much wood as he could carry, and walked slowly through the drifts up to the cabin's door.
It was not only unlocked, it was open. The snow had blown inside the space of about ten inches, and Nathan dropped everything on the snowy porch. He unbuttoned his coat and reached inside his holster for his pistol, just in case. Then he cautiously pushed the door against the snow that had drifted inside.
The cabin was completely dark and Nathan pulled the door open to let in some light. It looked empty, but there were dark marks on the wood floor that he couldn't quite make out. He moved to the windows and pulled up the shades, all the while keeping his gun and his eyes trained ahead of him. As the cabin filled with the diffused light from the gray outside, Nathan began to recognize that the dark marks were red, and that they were blood. They led in one direction and ended at what he assumed was John Sutherland's body, absolutely still, with the animal trap that had felled him still locked tightly on his ankle.
Elizabeth looked again at the clock on the mantel. Nine o'clock. She'd been fighting the urge to call Florence to see if she'd heard anything from Bill or Nathan, but Elizabeth knew in her heart that if any word had come down from the mountain she would be the first to know.
Of her six long skirts, she'd been able to salvage four of them by expanding the waistband with extra material from the skirt. The other two she had packed away for use after the baby, or babies.
Rosemary and Lee felt a need to get Violet home for the night, so they'd taken Sergeant and were keeping him in the livery until tomorrow when they would come back out. Julie had called Lucas at around seven and he'd picked her up on his horse.
Now it was just Jack, Allie, Archie and Elizabeth. Jack was sound asleep in bed, as was Archie after a long day of work at the Coulter's. Allie had finished all her homework and was trying her hand at cross-stitch with Elizabeth's help at the harvest table.
Elizabeth looked at the clock again, and she caught Allie's eyes looking at her.
"You're worried about Dad, aren't you?"
Elizabeth sighed and looked out the front window. Of course, in the dark she couldn't see the snow driving sideways, but when Julie had left, she'd seen that all the work she'd done on the front porch had been completely covered over.
"Your dad told me before he left that he expected the snow to be heavy in the mountains. He said if it got too bad, he and Judge Avery would seek shelter in a hunting cabin." She looked into Allie's eyes. "I expect that's what they've done."
Allie didn't say anything, and Elizabeth had to focus to realize she hadn't answered her question.
"Yes, I'm worried. It's hard not to be when you love someone. How do you feel, Allie?" Elizabeth said, reaching across and taking her hand gently.
"Worried," she said simply. "I just wish we could know where they are."
"I know," Elizabeth said. "I feel the same." She sighed.
Elizabeth had never believed in glossing over her worries or fears with children. She knew that they felt intuitively when something was wrong, and if you pretend it's not, they lose their ability to discern the world around them and stop trusting their own instincts. She never wanted to overreact, but it would serve no one to pretend she wasn't concerned.
She squeezed Allie's hand across the table. "I think we have to be prepared to go to sleep tonight without knowing, Allie. It's hard, but your dad wouldn't want us to worry or lose sleep. He knows how to take care of himself."
"But last time he was lost you went to find him," Allie said. "And he said you saved his life."
Nodding, Elizabeth said, "Yes. And that was on flat ground when it wasn't snowing hard like this. People could go up into the mountains and search, but they would likely get lost as well. Your dad wouldn't want that." She smiled at Allie. "I'm feeling all the same things you are. But for now, we need to stay here and be warm and be ready for him when he comes home."
Allie paused for a moment. Elizabeth could tell there was something she wanted to say.
"What, Allie?" Elizabeth said, frowning slightly. "You can say anything."
Allie kept her eyes down, looking at her cross-stitch. "Opal remembers Mountie Jack really well. She talks about him a lot. She said he died being a Mountie and that he was very brave." Allie looked up at Elizabeth. "I told her I think it's brave of you to do this again. To wait like this, wondering if maybe Dad won't come home the same way he did."
Elizabeth felt the tears start, and she didn't think she could stop them. But she didn't want Allie ever to feel she couldn't talk to her about things. "I'm probably going to cry a little right now, and that's okay," she said, using a napkin from the table to dab at her eyes. "I did love Jack, and I love your father very much. Being a Mountie can be dangerous, but we have to know that your dad has been trained very well. He's strong and he wants so much to come home to us."
Allie looked at Elizabeth, clear-eyed, for a moment. Then she stood and came around to the other side of the table. She leaned down and put her arms around Elizabeth's neck, almost protectively. "He'll be fine, Mom. He always is."
Elizabeth reached up and covered Allie's arms with her own. "I love you so much, Allie. Thank you for understanding things so well."
"I love you too, Mom," Allie said, hugging her.
Elizabeth laughed softly and gave Allie a kiss on the cheek. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder who's raising who."
