Warning: Contains a panic attack
It was like most days in Auradon, sunny and warm. Nothing different. Nothing new. Even in Auradon Prep, it felt like a perfectly normal day. Tests were being taken, assignments were being completed, sports were being played, homework was being done and students were wishing for a holiday. The library was crowded with pupils studying and working together on their homework. Among these students was Lonnie Li. She had books open in front of her and was making flashcards out of her notes.
Suddenly, someone sat down in front of her with a loud clunk of their bag hitting the floor, "Lonnie, I am so sorry to ask you to do this, I know you're studying but could you please quiz me for this biology test?" He roommate Olivia said, looking stressed, "I'm never going to get science."
Lonnie laughed, "Hey, you'll do fine." She then thought about the fact that she had two tests coming up soon. "I mean I guess I can spare a few minutes to help. It'll help me too, I'm sure."
"You're a life-saver," Olivia replied, handing her the bunch of flashcards she'd just pulled out of her bag.
Lonnie laughed and took the flashcards from her friend. She then began going through them and quizzing her on each card until Olivia knew most of them by heart. As soon as they'd gone through all of them, Olivia packed away her cards and left as Lonnie explained that she still had some studying of her own to do as well as some work for two different assignments that were due soon.
Lonnie continued to keep studying until her phone vibrated in her pocket, with a reminder that she needed to get to practice. Quickly as she could, Lonnie gathered up all of her things and headed to the changing rooms by the amphitheatre. Once she was changed, she ran out and waited for the team to join her so that they could warm up. Lonnie always made sure to be there extra early, as she needed to set an example, being the team captain and all.
As she waited, Coach Jenkins walked into the amphitheatre and headed straight to Lonnie. "Lonnie! Just the girl I was looking for!"
"Hey Coach," she replied, "What's up?"
"My mother has taken ill and we think that she may not make it," Coach Jenkins replied.
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Coach," Lonnie replied.
Coach Jenkins continued, "So, I'm not going to be in for a few weeks. Would you be okay with being in charge of practice?"
Lonnie stared at him for a second, "Uhh...yeah, I guess so. Just send me the schedule and we can definitely do that."
Coach Jenkins smiled, "You're the best, Lonnie. Oh, I only have the training schedule for the next week but I don't think I'll get a chance to do the next few weeks. You can handle that, right?" He clasped her shoulder in thanks. Before Lonnie had a chance to say anything, the rest of the team began coming in and Coach Jenkins called them all to attention before making them do warm-ups.
Lonnie felt a bit of dread in her but she shook it off. She was doing a favour for her coach. He wouldn't give her a task he didn't think she could handle. She'd be fine. Probably.
Training seemed to zip by and as soon as it was over, Lonnie went straight back to the library, having been emailed about a new assignment that one of her teachers had set. That brought her total amount of assignments to three. And she also had to study for two different tests that were coming. And she had to plan a training schedule. It wasn't too bad. If she split her time well, she could do it. Hopefully. There was still a little bit of dread that had grasped onto her but she ignored it. She had to keep pushing forward.
"Uh, Lonnie?" Lonnie looked up to see Tyrone standing there, fidgeting nervously, "I kinda have something I need to tell you."
Lonnie didn't like the look of guilt on his face but didn't say anything as she gestured for him to sit down on the chair next to her.
Tyrone took the seat and nervously rubbed his hands together before deciding to speak about whatever it is that was on his mind, "I uh...I kinda need to drop out of the games for a while."
Lonnie's face went from neutral to pure disbelief and annoyance, "What, no, Tyrone, you can't do that to us. You're one of our best players. You can't just drop out. Why in goodness name are you dropping out?"
Tyrone looked away whilst his hands kept rubbing together in a motion similar to that of washing one's hands. "I'm not doing as well in some of my classes as my parents would like. They contacted the school and they talked and the decision, in the end, was that maybe it was best if I took a step back from R.O.A.R for a while."
"That's ridiculous," Lonnie replied.
Tyrone shrugged, "It's only a few games. My parents wanted me to drop it entirely so stepping back from a few games isn't so bad. I also can only attend every other practice, so I have more time for studying but I also keep myself going so I'm fit enough to play the moment I get back."
Lonnie sighed, "Okay, okay, fine." She put her hands in her head, her heart beginning to pound furiously all of a sudden, "We will just have to make do. I'll figure out how the team will look by next practice." Another thing to add to her list. That feeling that had gripped onto her chest squeezed a little tighter. But she was fine. It was fine.
"I'm really sorry, Lonnie," Tyrone said, before getting up, "I'll try to get back on the team as soon as possible."
Lonnie lifted her head and nodded, "Yeah, okay. See you later." Tyrone nodded and left her alone.
Lonnie brought her hand to her chest, rubbing it to try and release the tension that was squeezing her lungs. Suddenly, someone appeared next to her but her vision had blurred slightly and she couldn't tell who. "Hey, Lonnie, could you help me with my homework? I'm really stuck on-" And just like that, it was like she was underwater. She could hear the person next to her still speaking but the voice sounded far away. She couldn't breathe. She had to get out of here. She had to breathe.
Lonnie got up and stumbled away, gasping for even a little bit of air. She wasn't far from the entrance of the library so she just made it into the corridor before she collapsed to the floor. She sat with her back against the wall and her head between her legs, desperately gasping for oxygen. She suddenly felt a presence next to her and a voice trying to speak to her. She couldn't hear what was being said at first but then it broke through whatever was blocking her hearing and she heard the gentle tone of her childhood friend. It wasn't the clearest, but it was there.
"Let me know you can hear me, Lonnie," Ben was saying, "Can you hear me? Nod if you can hear me." Lonnie gave the tiniest of nods. "Okay, I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder now. Is that okay? Can I put my hand on your shoulder?" Lonnie nodded again. She felt his soft touch on her shoulder. "I need you to match my breathing now, Lonnie. Try and match my breathing."
Lonnie heard a deep intake of breath and attempted to do the same. She was struggling but she managed it and that was definitely helping. She almost felt like she could breathe again. She heard him exhale and followed his lead. "In," he said, breathing in, "And out." He said this a few more times and Lonnie breathed along with him.
"Okay, we're going to count down from twenty now," Ben said, "And after each number, I want you to think of something that makes you happy. Okay?" Lonnie nodded again.
"Okay, good. 20," he said, "Have you got something?"
Her mother's warm embrace popped into her head and she nodded.
"19. Can you think of something else?"
Her father's joyous laughter sounded through her mind, so she nodded.
18, Play-wrestling with her brother when they were younger.
17, The freshly-baked cookies her mother always seemed to have on hand when she was upset.
16, Joking around with her friends.
15, The sound of rain pounding the window.
14, Runs just after the sun rises.
13, Spending time with her family in any shape or form.
12, Hot cocoa on a cold day.
11, Fresh, untouched snow blanketing the world outside.
10, Winning a victory over a rival team.
9, Victory pizza with the R.O.A.R team
8, Being placed on the shoulders of her team when she leads them to a win.
7, Jay kissing her as they celebrate a win.
6, The beaming smile of pride that Jay gives her whenever she succeeds in anything.
5, The soft looks Jay gives her when he thinks she isn't looking.
4, The feel of his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind.
3, The sensation of his hand in hers.
2, Jay gently kissing her cheek
1, Her future plans where she is successfully part of a pro-R.O.A.R team and maybe even happily married to the man she loves.
Once they got to one, Lonnie felt much calmer. Her breathing evened out, the feeling of being underwater disappeared, the grip on her chest was pretty much gone. She looked up at Ben with a smile and placed her hand on his, which was still resting on her shoulder.
"Thank you," she said.
Ben smiled, "Of course. You okay? Do you know what triggered it?"
Lonnie nodded a little, "Yeah. I have a lot on my plate right now. Assignments, tests, Coach needing me to organise practice."
"Tell you what, we'll contact your teachers and ask for extensions on the assignments and we'll get Jay to help you organise practice. He's essentially your vice-captain anyway."
Lonnie smiled and nodded, "Yeah, okay, that's a good idea."
Ben got up and held a hand out to her which she took gratefully, "But for now," he began, "You go and get some rest, okay? You deserve a break."
Lonnie nodded and hugged him. "Okay." She broke away from the hug with a grateful smile and began walking away towards her room.
As she went down she noticed Jay standing in the corridor as though he materialised from nowhere.
"Hey, are you okay?" Jay said, approaching her, "I saw what just happened. Were you having a panic attack? I didn't know that you had them."
Lonnie nodded, "Yeah, I've had them a few times before. And I'm okay. Ben helped me get through it. He's been helping me through them since we were young." Jay just nodded in understanding, though he still looked concerned, "I'm fine," she reassured him, "I'm just going to get myself a cup of tea, head to my room and rest for a bit."
"If you're sure," he responded, "You'll text me if you need anything, right?"
Lonnie smiled softly, "Yeah," she replied, with a nod. She was a little surprised at the amount of concern he was showing her considering that she's told him that she was okay now, but she was nonetheless a little pleased by it. She leaned over and kissed his cheek gently before continuing on her way back to her dorm.
Jay stood there for a little while, watching her walk away. Then he turned and headed to the library, his strides long and quick. Once there, he scanned the room quickly before locating Ben and heading towards him.
"Can I talk to you?" he said when Ben greeted him. Ben nodded and followed Jay out of the library when the other boy turned on his heel and began to walk away.
"What's up?" Ben asked once they were out.
"I saw you with Lonnie just now," Jay said, his arms crossed, his face down. He didn't want to meet Ben's eye.
If he had looked up, he would've seen a flit of panic over Ben's face in the split second before he replied, "Look, Jay, I promise you that nothing-"
"Can you teach me how to help her?" Jay interrupted, finally looking up at Ben, his face heating up a little. Ben's eyes went wide. Evidently, this is not what he'd expected to hear. When he didn't reply straight away, Jay continued on, "I mean, you're not always going to be there to help her and out of the two of us, it is more likely that I will be there if it happens again. But I'm not sure if I'll be to help her the way you do."
Ben nodded, looking slightly ashamed of himself, "Right, yeah, of course, I can. The more people who know how to help her the better."
So Ben explained to him the process that he uses to help Lonnie, emphasising strongly to ensure not to touch her at all without her permission - "I did that the first couple of times and it made things worse," he confessed when he explained that bit – and also emphasising how important it was that Jay be patient, as sometimes it took some time before Lonnie could hear and often he may have to repeat himself several times.
Jay listened attentively throughout, nodding regularly as he took it all in. Once Ben was done, Jay thanked him and Ben clapped his hand on his shoulder before heading back to the library.
Jay gave a little sigh of relief, feeling better as he now knew how to help Lonnie. When he'd stood there, watching her with her head between her legs, clearly struggling to breathe in the seconds before Ben was by her side, it was one of the scariest moments of his life, watching the woman he loved suffer and him, rooted to the spot, unable to do anything to help because he just didn't know how.
But the next time she had a panic attack, Jay was right there by her side in a matter of moments, helping her through it patiently. And what he didn't realise in that moment was just how much he kept her grounded when the world had felt like it had turned upside down.
Here you go, RockThat! I really hope you enjoyed it!
Request Count Down: 42
Response to Reviews:
Ishy555: (125) Thank you! I'm glad you found it funny!
Patef7461: Because I'm evil ;)
BillaB: Yes, it definitely is. In my personal world, Carlos dies at the age of 88 when his grandchildren are already adults, so he dies an old and happy man.
Owllover34: Don't worry, this isn't really my main fanon. I do have a oneshot in my drafts somewhere about his actual death (well, technically, it starts just after his funeral), so if I ever get round to finishing that, I may publish it in a separate story.
Guest: I am so sorry, but I don't speak Portuguese so I wasn't able to understand what you've written.
EvieCarson: I'm sorry? But thank you! I'm glad that you liked the writing.
MaliceMalAmyMalevFaery: Oops?
Guest: (4) I'm sorry but the requests are closed at the moment.
Guest: Sorry. Sounds like a nice idea but the requests are definitely still closed.
TheGreatGodzilla: I'm so pleased that I wrote it well. Thank you :)
Guest: (3) There is another sick fic coming up with Jonnie and I think one with Bal's child so look out for it :)
Fangirl5323: Aww, I'm sorry. But thank you!
Love you guys so much!
SparkyGurl
P.S. Please don't be afraid to leave constructive criticism. It helps me.
