Naruto' and 'Naruto Shippuden' are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo.
Self- Combustion
MetaMirage
17
Sakura was a woman of initiative, already crafting medical records to allow both Karin and Sasuke to hide in plain sight. Karin felt dazed, and not just from the bright light of the medical tent as she tried to move her index finger. Despite hurting so badly now, she couldn't remember how her finger was broken. A wave of anger hit her when she recalled how desperately Sasuke had pushed to get back in that burning room. How had she ever believed things would be different from the attempted Konoha City assassination? He had all but collapsed to the same irrational psychosis, selfishly willing to throw himself into that fire to ensure Danzo was dead.
She spared a glance at Sasuke. He had been slightly burnt in the fire, but the extent of the bandages begged the comedic as he looked practically mummified. As much as she wanted to berate him for his lapse in sanity, she knew that when his emotions ran hot, he was at his most volatile and unreasonable.
"…Sasuke?" Sakura whispered, careful to cover her mouth in case anyone overheard. "There's so much I want to say to you…"
Sakura on the other hand seemed all to willing to scream into the abyss. Each failed attempt at Sasuke's attention making her lip jut and eyes droop.
"Sasuke… we need to talk-"
The alarm was ear piercing. Three blasts in quick succession. Sakura abandoned her questioning, downtrodden expression ignited to alertness as she pivoted on the spot.
"Surgery," she elaborated. "All hands-on deck."
Karin could piece together that Danzo must be alive, but just. Sakura had barely taken a step before Sasuke grabbed her by the elbow.
"Sabotage it," his voice was obnoxiously loud and threatening. "If you're the one that keeps Danzo alive… I'll never forgive you."
That. Was. It. Karin took the tray from her bedside table and hurtled it at Sasuke's ungrateful head. Sabotage it? Like it was that simple. Sakura was walking a dangerous line and one error in judgement could spell their deaths. Sasuke was yet to summon a simple 'thank you' for saving his life and now he threatened someone that had truly put their neck out? Sakura all but scrambled away in the commotion and Karin zeroed in on him with all her fury.
"You shithead," Karin said for the umpteenth time. Unlike Sasuke, the unapologetic moron, she kept her voice low. "Shut the fuck up before you get us all killed."
He glared at her but his jaw stiffened, realising he had almost blown their cover. That without thinking, he had revealed he knew Danzo was injured and revealed that he wanted him dead. Anyone could have overheard.
Karin turned on her side, the hospital bed wobbling at her sudden move. She couldn't help one last scathing accusation of "Useless."
Unfortunately, sleep had only found her in bouts. Karin fazed in and out of unconsciousness, eyes like slits as she scoured the shadowed outlines of the ward for her inevitable betrayal. The heavy cloth of the tent rippled and pressed into the shape of disembowelled heads and limbs. Root agents were leaning in, coming to snatch her and drag her to torture.
When she noticed Sakura almost float pass her bed she was finally roused. She watched Sakura slip carefully through the lining of the tent and shuffled after her with the glum determination of a sleepwalker.
Sakura had claimed a quiet oasis, sandwiched between the base of the mountain. The spot was peppered with trampled grass and medical journals were stacked in disorganised piles, one with a forgotten teacup balancing atop. Karin imagined this spot offered Sakura much reprise from her demanding schedule in the ward.
"He's alive… but barely," Sakura greeted before sitting in the tall grass, kicking off her shoes in a poised struggle. She sounded so exhausted, so beatdown. It took Karin a moment to collect her thoughts and understand she had not just followed Sakura to reveal Danzo's fate.
Sakura jumped a little when Karin sat. Karin had caught the tail end of Sakura's and Sasuke's exchange at the festival, watched Sakura move to embrace Sasuke as he pulled away. If Karin were to follow the logic of her trashy romance novels, she was supposed to feel unadulterated jealousy and hatred at the mere existence of this 'other woman'. She was supposed to throw the entire operation away in a rage-fuelled fit and revel in the reckoning.
But Karin didn't feel or want any of these things. Instead, she mindlessly watched the petite girl stretch, bending from the hip over her extended legs. She was extremely flexible reaching all the way to bare, wrecked feet. Service bore many an injury, but Karin suspected the damage to be self-induced, the mark of a different world entirely.
"Ballet?" Karin queried. She remembered when a trope of acrobats had visited her hometown, how through all the twirls and flips it was the girl that could balance on her toes that had caught everyone's imagination. Her and the other children practiced for weeks, always succumbing back to the earth at the sheer pain. The word 'ballet' soon becoming synonymous with torture and the supernatural.
Sakura's breathing seemed to catch, a sad little noise. "Yeah… like a thousand years ago. Sasuke used to play the piano at my studio… I can't tell you how many girls I fought just to be the one to bring him the sheet music… how many hours I would stay back just to try and talk with him…´ Sakura stopped stretching and sat, spine schooled straight. "I would always add this extra pirouette to my routines just to get his attention… my instructor hated that. I got in so much trouble…"
Karin didn't know why her breathing began to hitch. Even as a child, she had always been so guarded, so careful with her emotions. Sakura's openness was almost intimating, overbearing even.
"When they started the quarantine… they dragged Sasuke straight from my recital. I had to keep dancing… we were ordered to keep dancing but there was no music… I tried so hard just to keep d-dancing."
A lump was rising in Karin's throat. She was convinced Sakura was crying and fought vehemently against the strange pinching feeling across her nose. She didn't know Sakura. Sakura was a stranger.
And yet, in another way, she knew this poor woman in her entirety.
"You know Sasuke tried to kill himself?" Sakura shook, terrible tremors wracking her tiny frame. "He j-jumped. When he jumped that f-fence he had to know… he was g-going to die."
Karin had been convinced Sasuke had shared the darkest parts of himself. It was hard to feel betrayed when she had glossed over the same exact detail. After her village was massacred, thoughts of suicide became her only companion, her only true escape from the suffering. It was strange they had both silently withheld this fact from the other.
"I nursed him back to health. I h-hid him, Sakura continued. "His brother gave me all this money to keep him safe… for us to start a life together. T-then he was just g-gone."
Karin bowed her head slightly. Sasuke had abandoned Sakura in the worst possible way, leaving her to believe he was captured… dead. The news was unsurprising of course, inexcusable.
It nagged at her though. In what world could anyone expect Sasuke to just settle? To stop.
"All this r-revenge stuff. It's like there's t-two of him. I know the r-real him is in t-there somewhere," Sakura all but sobbed.
Karin leaned back, only to find Sakura had done the same. They propped each other up, back to back.
"I try to help him but…" Karin murmured, but not because she cared that Sasuke would hear. He would never truly hear the plea of the people that cared for him. "He'd dig his own grave if it meant putting Danzo in one."
All the tension left Karin's body in that moment, both girls leaning into each other in tandem. This shared, terrible knowledge bolstered them both up, one supporting the other. Karin's eyes stung as waves of emotion began to hit her nonsensical. Despite everything, a tear rolled down her cheek as Sakura's final words were left to hang.
"You love him too, right?"
Karin busied herself in the festival grounds, watching as the stalls and lanterns were collapsed. She scoped out the rubbish, half eaten meals and cigarette butts littering the walkways. She kept her eyes peeled for familiar faces, careful to feel nothing when only a few were spotted. Mostly though she kept her ears sharp around the Konoha nationals and hushed conversations blurred.
"An attempt on the Honorable Hokage Danzo's life?!"
"Again? …How many is that now?"
"Their troops captured supplies bound for Iwagakure, dooming rural villages to famine."
"Suna and Iwa have warred for centuries."
"They've blockaded Amagakure. They can commit troops there but not on the front?! Those Suna bastards!"
"Amagakure is a glorified arms dealer. They've played both sides for far too long. Traitors get what they deserve."
"Suna has been out of control for weeks. Their aggression will cost. Iwa is days away from declaring war. Mark my words."
"What does that mean for us?! Two fronts?!"
"Under the leadership of Hokage Danzo we will prosper! On our empire the sun will never set!"
"I swear that mountain rumbled last night. It shook."
"Suna are our allies! A slight against them is a direct attack against us!"
The dogged murmuring followed Karin all the way back to the burn ward.
Iwagakure was about to declare war on Sunagakure and by extension Konohagakure. What this meant for the Kirigakure war effort she could only begin to speculate.
But what it meant for her own life, she couldn't even begin to fathom.
Nagisa had survived the wave of captures and seen Shisui get dragged away personally. He was the one that had triggered the retreat signal and had the courage to remain behind to scout for as many remaining Autumn Leaf members as possible. When Karin had spotted him pushing a cart through the burn ward they had signalled and organised to meet up. About ten people remained at the festival grounds, well at least ten that were daring enough to brave the open.
"Danzo's still stable," Nagisa announced. "He's badly injured though; talk is the next few days are crucial."
Karin looked around at the weathered, brooding faces. Sasuke's included. As much as she knew from experience that every second of these meetings counted, she couldn't bring herself to break the solemn moment. Instead, she looked to the grey sky and looming clouds, letting her head tip back.
"I've gotten a razorblade to Shisui," Sasuke finally broke in, his voice strangely small.
When another wave of disappointment gripped the group, Karin couldn't help but give Sasuke a quizzical look. He seemed gaunt, "With the razor blade, he can commit suicide instead of enduring anymore torture."
Karin tipped her head back again, swallowing. She had to refuse to give into her complex feelings and focus on the promise she had made to Shisui. She would honour him by protecting Haruka and their child.
"Anyone looking to leave should make a break for it tonight." She hadn't meant to sound nonchalant, overcorrecting the anguish in her voice to insensitivity. It earned her a few scowling looks.
"…Why not tomorrow?" Nagisa finally questioned.
"It might not rain tomorrow," Karin nodded, accepting the groups judgement. "Tonight's rain will cover our tracks and make it difficult for the dogs to follow our scent."
The original escape plan was to scale the surrounding mountains, Shisui even organising for climbing gear to be available. With the Root agents on high alert however the gear had been uncovered and the exit points security ramped up. Once again, Sakura proved their saviour. A medical supply convoy was bound for the front, the young medic offering to hide as many people as could humanly fit in the wagons. They could peel off at opportune moments which was hardly the safest plan but the best option they had.
When Karin squashed herself against saline bottles, she stopped avoiding Sakura's gaze. The conversation last night had been the equivalent of a dagger in the night, Sakura thoroughly ambushed. They both knew Sasuke could never really be held accountable in heartache. His very nature was unashamedly hard lined, steel eyed, the boot to the face. Sakura's frustration, the ire, the accusation of Karin being allowed by his side was the only contrition. The sooner they got it over with, however unfair, the better.
Strangely though, Sakura did not punch holes. Did not level Karin with her one-sided affair. Did not find Karin her target in the absence of Sasuke.
And Karin knew when they gave each other parting smiles, she never would.
Karin counted slowly but arduously. She and Sasuke were unable to be paired together so a calculated risk had to be taken.
Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety.
Without any visual they were both counting to ten thousand and would exit at the same time, no matter the conditions.
Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-five.
It had been mind-numbing labour but with the moment now upon her Karin swallowed down bile.
Ten thousand!
Karin was bound for Haruka and Northern Yugakure.
Karin's entire body was in agony, her jog more like a stutter. She was dragging her feet, lungs on fire. Truthfully, breaking away from the convoy had demanded almost all of her energy but she focused on Sasuke's back, trying to keep pace. They had made it to Northern Yugakure, surroundings finally beginning to ring familiar.
That's when Sasuke seemed to burst with inhuman energy. He broke into a sprint, recklessly steering his direction through the village. Shocked, Karin readjusted her glasses and looked past the entry gate, military guard and the line of the village walls. She dared to look up in the direction of Haruka's family home.
The mountain was ablaze.
Karin contorted her mouth in a breathless scream.
Uphill she stumbled, the roots and logs conspiring to make her trip. Precious seconds were wasted as Karin dragged herself to stand, battered and bruised. Smoke and sweat stung her eyes, blurred her vision.
That's why she didn't trust the outline at first, crumpled and fragile like a baby bird. When it moved again, she lurched forward, knowing it writhed in complete agony.
Karin was in a waking nightmare, Haruka a bloodied mess and craters for eyes. Karin knew violence but before her was an act so unnecessarily cruel even a mindless animal wouldn't be capable. She crouched, biting her trembling lip until she could taste metal.
Blood. There was too much blood.
Haruka was wailing, sobbing uncontrollably as she clutched what was left of her stomach. Gutted, her blood seeped into the earth, blackening the soil.
"My baby… my baby…"
She'd more than lost the baby. It had been ripped from her. Karin swallowed the bile. Swallowed the knowledge that human beings always arrived at such evil on purpose.
"My baby… my baby…"
Karins hands fumbled as she carefully tried to neaten Haruka's matted hair. Voice broken, she stuttered the tunes of the kitchen and attempted to braid Haruka's once golden locks. She trembled through more last moments, more unfair losses.
Haruka finally stopped wailing, stopped breathing. Stopped anything.
Karin collapsed down, chest heaving as smoke spiralled into the sky. She fisted her good hand in the wet dirt, tiny, hateful blue flowers clotted in her grasp.
"No no no no-"
Sasuke tried to pull Karin up by the arms. Tried not to look at Haruka's lifeless body. Tried and failed at it all.
"No no no no-" Karin repeated feverishly, her mantra. He pulled on her wrist desperately, the mountain was crawling with Konoha soldiers, the house torched and Haruka's parents hung. He'd prayed for Haruka not to be inside the blaze but now he knew better.
He knew better than to pray.
"NO!" this time Karin dragged him down, falling to the freshly turned earth. Haruka's pierced eyes followed him accusatory. They promised him Karin was blinded too, that his birthright was a curse, a condemnation of endless suffering. That for him to survive, where so many had perished, was truly vile and the most heinous crime. One that his blood alone could never satisfy in penance. A thousand spiteful blue flowers would bare witness, the red, right hand to descend on the last few people he held dear.
He shook as Karin continued to burrow into the earth, feverishly digging her makeshift grave.
Karin had left her sanity in a shallow grave, with the baby-blue eyes atop a burning peak. She couldn't explain the resentment she harboured for Sasuke but it was there, however unfair. He had all but carved her up for this fresh pain. Haruka too. With her impossible kindness, her uncompromisingly wholesome heart. Grief blackened and numbed Karin like it had in the throat of the valley of her hometown. Where her appetite wasted, and days and nights slogged into one unspeakable misery.
Then there was a glint, a dangerous flash in the darkness. The wanted poster had all the pull of a vortex, swallowing them whole. She stared at the dead-eyed man in the picture, features so uncanny and an expression so familiar she almost bemoaned the hours wasted trying to decipher it. She was furious when her heart splintered again. A new wound opening entirely on Sasuke's behalf.
"Wanted for attempting to assassinate Hokage Danzo at the Conquest Day feast…," she read slowly. "Uchiha Itachi."
A composite of Sasuke's brother was before her. She could only assume a case of mistaken identity as Sasuke had been wearing a mask during the attack. Danzo had survived and had pinpointed the eldest son of his dead rival as his would-be killer. Her stomach churned as she remembered his terrifying presence of mind, how carefully he had examined the Katana pierced through him and the inscription down the hilt.
How, even in the face of death, he was always ten steps ahead.
Sasuke clawed at the poster like he was suddenly lobotomised, all precise motion lost as he began to double over. He failed to pull it down, instead clinging his hand to his chest in sheer, unadulterated panic.
At a crossroads, in the middle of nowhere, Sasuke forgot how to breathe.
"It's called a panic attack." Karin was exhausted, no energy to soften her language. Once again, she was burdened with the role of providing shelter, of keeping them both alive. "It feels like you're dying but you don't."
The shadows of the cave weighed heavy on Sasuke's face, making him look decades older. She suddenly felt the cold bite in the air, could hear the incessant drip of water and storm swell. Her senses sharpened the smell of damp and decay and singed hair. When he stayed silent, she continued briskly. "You almost had one with the lice, remember," she reminded poignantly. "I thought you knew."
She took a moment to recognise how absolutely destroyed he was. They were both battered, bruised and filthy but Karin could see how pronounced the dark circles were under his eyes. He had thrown himself into every mishap they had just faced so readily, so brashly, neither of them had time to tally the cost. It all wore on him at once and she realised… she might recover from this.
Sasuke never would.
"It's completely manageable. It helps to remind yourself the attack always passes," she trailed off when he stood. It didn't feel abrupt, she didn't get the sense that he was angry, that he was doing it to cut her off or save face.
She watched as he walked out the mouth of the cave. She slowly got to her feet, watching as he raised his head to the howling storm. The urge to chastise him, remind him of the very real threat of pneumonia, died on her lips.
The worst had already happened.
Pulling off her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose, Karin finally let something bother her. Two confused hearts that had withered together at the base of a mountain, that had bled an understanding in the chaos. With tentative steps she stood next to Sasuke, taking him by his drenched sleeve. He dared to look at her, eyes welled, dark hair plastered against his face. When he trembled, she knew better than to blame the cold.
"Don't fight it…" she murmured, unsure which one of them needed to hear it the most. Finally, she let go of the silence, of hanging last words. She couldn't say she loved him, at least not like Sakura. She just knew Uchiha Sasuke broke her heart. That he waited for her. That he still stood by her side.
That there wasn't 'two' of Sasuke. That she wasn't in love with the idea of a man. Hamstrung by her expectations.
She cupped his face with her good hand, feeling the real warmth of his skin as he wrapped his arms around her. The sensible part of her shattered in the heavy rain as he all but collapsed and she took him in her arms.
She held him as he cried.
MetaMirage: I'm humbled by how many people had missed this story. Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging reviews. I always love to read feedback so thank you so much for taking the time to provide some. I feel that it really helps improve my writing (and motivation).
Dark, heavy content in this chapter I know but honestly the Karin/Sakura scenes gave me the most grief. I write for both SasuKarin and SasuSaku (I work out my love of complicated men in fiction it seems) and wanted to capture their feelings for Sasuke but also… the glaring differences in how they view him…
As much as people like to martyr Sakura's feelings for Sasuke, she is madly in love with the idea of someone. Karin is privy to Sasuke's vulnerabilities and is more… rational in her feelings. I hope I was able to communicate that while still showing that Karin and Sakura have true compassion for one another.
Anyway! Suigetsu is back wreaking havoc in the next chapter because why the hell not.