The next morning he went back to the dormitory and Sirius and Peter jumped up immediately. It appeared as though they had been up all night. "What happened?" Sirius asked, worried.

"Is Moony okay?" Peter asked at the same time.

"He didn't touch us," James said stoically.

"Where have you been?" Sirius continued.

James didn't answer. "We have to go. We're expected in Dumbledore's office." He turned right back around and left the room without waiting for the other two.

The meeting was tense and took forever. Snape was insisting that all four of the marauders should be kicked out of school and that the ministry should be made aware of their actions. James, Sirius, and Peter all insisted that Remus was innocent; he didn't hurt James or Snape and didn't know any of this had happened. They also all three insisted that they didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. Despite Sirius acting alone, James and Peter stood by him with Snape and the professors, because that's just what the marauders did.

In the end Dumbledore agreed that Remus did not need to be punished. The other three marauders got detention for reckless behavior, though it was agreed by all but Snape that they hadn't acted maliciously in an attempt on his life. Dumbledore had mentioned the possibility of Snape getting detention as well for his reckless behavior in going down there in the first place, but apparently thought better of antagonizing him against the marauders any further. He instead insisted that Snape promise not to reveal Remus' secret to anyone and he wouldn't speak of it after this meeting. Snape fought it, but eventually agreed through gritted teeth and they were all free to go.

When it was just the three marauders again Peter breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one. Wasn't sure which way Dumbledore was going to go for a moment."

"I knew he wouldn't do anything to bad," Sirius said confidently. He didn't seem shaken by the events at all. "I can't believe Snape actually went down the passage! What an idiot! Just wait until Remus hears about this." He was laughing.

James snapped. "What exactly do you think Remus is going to think? You think he's going to find it funny? You're wrong! He's going to be mortified that Snape knows his secret."

"Snape already-" Sirius started, but James kept going.

"He's going to be mortified that he could have killed someone! You know that's always been his biggest fear and you risked it. For what?"

"Calm down James," Sirius tried. "No one got hurt. He'll be fine."

"He won't be fine. I'm not fine! I can't believe you did that! You jeopardized everything! You told our biggest secret to our worst enemy and you don't even care. After everything, you still don't see how wrong you were."

"I was just having a bit of fun. You don't even know what that is anymore."

"Come off it. Just because I finally grew up doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun. You clearly don't if this is your idea of fun: putting people's lives at risk. You've ruined everything! Can't you see that?"

"How have I ruined everything? What have I ruined?" Sirius was starting to get angry now too. He didn't like being questioned and accused like this.

"You put us all at risk without even thinking about it. You've ruined our friendship. How are we supposed to trust you now? How are we supposed to get past this?"

"Just move past it!"

"You aren't stupid mate, you know it doesn't work like that."

"So, what? We aren't friends anymore? Just like that?"

James just shrugged and walked away.

"Wormtail?" Sirius questioned, looking to Peter who had stayed out of the fight until now.

"Sorry Pads," Peter said sadly, and turned to catch up with James.

Just when James thought his life was on the right track, this happened to mess it all up again.

It was nearing noon by the time they had come out of Dumbledore's office, so James headed to the dormitory to shower and change his clothes before going downstairs for lunch with Peter. He ended up not having much of an appetite, but spent the time pushing some food around on his plate anyway. After a few minutes, the sixth year Gryffindor girls plopped down next to the two boys.

"Afternoon," Mary said sweetly. "Where are Remus and Sirius today?"

"Who cares," James muttered angrily, stabbing his food with a hard jab.

Peter cleared his throat and answered instead, hoping to keep any issues they were having within their group. "Well Remus had to go visit his mum yesterday, but he should be back tonight. Sirius is having a lie in still, the lazy bum." He was smooth. James supposed it was thanks to the years of practice they all had covering for one another.

"Still in bed?" Alice asked. "I've never known him to pass up two meals in a day!"

"He said something about having a long night…" Peter pulled a slightly disgusted face.

"'Nuff said!" Marlene said, putting her hands up. "I don't need to hear about Black's latest conquest while I'm trying to eat."

"And why's that?" teased Alice, but Marlene jabbed her friend in the ribs, stopping any further comments.

Quietly, though James could still barely hear, Mary leaned into Peter. "What's going on with James? Is he alright?"

"Just tired I think," Peter lied. "Sirius is a talker. We were all up late."

Mary seemed to accept the explanation and went back to her food. Lily leaned into her then and whispered something in her ear, looking at James the whole time. Mary shrugged and whispered back, but whatever she said didn't do anything to change Lily's mood. Lily simply continued to stare at James with a thoughtful expression; the rest of the meal passed on in silence.

Finally, like they could read each other's minds, the four girls all stood up. "You two coming back to the common room?" Alice asked.

Peter nodded quickly and got up as well. He seemed uncomfortable and all too happy to leave the current situation. When James didn't move Alice asked again. "James?"

"No I – " he stopped himself and took a breath. He didn't want to be around anyone right now, but how was he supposed to explain that? "I'm heading down to the quidditch pitch for a workout."

"I think Ravenclaw is having practice," Marlene warned.

James shrugged. Thankfully no one pushed the matter any further and they walked away. James watched them go for a while, wishing that he had the heart to go with them. Now that he wasn't talking to Sirius he really couldn't afford to push anyone else away. He figured this one time probably wasn't a big deal though. Just as the group was reaching the doors he saw Lily say something and break away. The others kept going, but Lily turned around. She was coming back. He looked around trying to see if she had forgotten something, but didn't come to any such conclusion before she was there.

"What's going on with you?" she said, sounding a bit miffed. James apparently didn't do a good job of hiding his emotions, because as soon as he looked up at her, her face softened and she spoke again. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. Tired." James figured it would be best to stick with Peter's story, just in case.

"Codswallop," she said bluntly. "I know you. I especially know when you're angry. You're angry about something, so what is it?" James didn't answer. "I knew this little peace period we had going on wasn't going to last. It's been too long since we fought. So just tell me what it is that you're angry about and let's get it over with."

"You think I'm mad at you?" James asked. Why would she assume that?

"Well I'm usually the only one you're mad at. Me or the Slytherins at least. Did something happen? Did Snape do something?"

Apparently she was right: she did know him pretty well. Bloody Snape; it's all his fault! James sighed to himself then. He couldn't make himself believe that. He knew whose fault this all really was. He wasn't about to discuss the matter with anyone though. He made a mental note to go to the hospital wing to see Remus and talk to him at least about the situation. He wasn't sure how much he knew already. "Nothing happened, just leave it alone Evans."

"I just want to help!"

"Why?"

"I don't know." She faltered a bit. "I just do."

James laughed. That wasn't really an answer. "Whatever. Talking isn't going to help me, so just stop worrying."

"What if we didn't talk?"

"What?" James thought he was going crazy. Surely she wasn't offering… This is never how it happened before.

"That always helped before, right? Why not now?" She was serious.

James couldn't believe it, but he also didn't have the energy to really question it. He nearly took her up on the offer and dragged her down to the dungeons, but he stopped himself once he gave it a bit of thought. "I can't," he said, almost more to himself than to her, though she heard him all the same.

"If you mean because you want to workout, I think – "

"No," he cut her off. "That's not it. I just… can't." He was just as surprised at his words as she seemed. Turns out he grew up even more than he thought. He couldn't keep doing this fooling around, not dating thing with Lily. She didn't care about him as anything more than that, but he did, despite his efforts to get over her. He still fancied her like crazy, but realized that he was just going to hurt himself by continuing this thing of theirs.

"Okay," she said slowly, clearly confused.

He decided then to continue with this maturity thing he had going and tell her the truth. "You probably won't believe me when I say this, but I've always fancied you. I played it up as a joke after you turned me down the first time so that you wouldn't know how much it hurt. When you kissed me for the first time last year, it was like the best day of my life. I thought all my dreams had come true. I realize now though that that's not what happened. It was hard being with you without actually being with you and knowing that you didn't actually like me, especially not the way I liked you." She looked surprised and a little confused. "It was really hard. It's not your fault; you didn't know. I just can't put myself through that anymore. I don't mean to be rude, but maybe we can just stay away from each other for a while. Then maybe we can be friends some day."

Lily still hadn't said anything, but James didn't need her to. He needed to get all of that off his chest. He hoped that it was the first step in actually getting over her. He left her sitting there in the Great Hall and walked to the hospital wing to see Remus. It was time to deal with what happened the night before and figure out what they were going to do about Sirius.