DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything from the wonderful world of Harry Potter. ALL rights go to JK Rowling.
AN: A shorter chapter but I needed to pull Kat out of her dark cloud before throwing her back into it again in the next one. Thanks to all who continue to alert/favorite/review- the reassurance you all give keeps me writing.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The familiar chill of the castle is both welcomed and gratifying as I walk through the halls of Hogwarts to the common room. The first week of classes for the semester passed me by and I barely even noticed. My mind was somewhere far far away all the while, as the ghastly reality of my future hung over my head like an axe.
A singular moment of my week so far had brought me out of my inner , the mischievous marauder that he is, had purposefully exploded Powdered Common Rue on both of us during Potions early this morning, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth both figuratively and literally at the present moment.
Really, Black?" I gasped, wiping the fine tan powder from my eyes.
He was in hysterics, barely able to collect himself, even though he, too, was covered in the disgusting Rue.
"C'mon, you need this laugh just as much as I do," He says through fits of laughter. "You should see your face!"
I scowl at him as I pick up the Abraxan Hair that sits next to our cauldron, yet another ingredient meant for the assignment. I place the entire the vial's contents into my hand and turn to face him with it.
"Don't even think about it!" He scolds, wearily leaning back.
I blow the contents into his face with a satisfied grin as he spits out all of hairs that had latched onto his lips. I break down into giggles at the sight of both the powder and the hairs covering the Gryffindor.
"You should see your face!" I manage to get out through laughs. "You look ridiculous."
He looks to me amused with wide eyes, "Oh, really? I'll show you ridiculous!" He reaches for the next closest ingredient but another quick hand grabs his wrist before he gets the chance.
"Now, now m'boy, those are expensive specimens! How could you waste them so?" Slughorn scolds, "Detention, tonight Mr. Black."
I give my partner a wicked grin, which he returns with sticking out his tongue childishly.
"And though it pains to me put a pupil of my own house under punishment, Miss Petrovsky, you, too, will be joining him."
I gasp again, looking to the professor stunned.
"But, sir, surely it wasn't my fault," I defend, wiping excess powder off my forehead.
"Yet, Mr. Black here is covered in more contents than you, Miss Petrovsky," Slughorn comments as he walks back to the front of the class.
My nose scrunches in anger as I look back to my partner who is failing miserably at holding back his laughter.
"Damn you, Black," I mumble through powdered lips.
His laughter was surely heard from the other side of the castle after that.
My feet are dragging as I enter the common room. A quick scourgify spell was able to rid me of my potions mishap, saving me from embarrassment as I walk through the school. My friends sit all huddled together in front of the fire and I quicken my pace to join them.
As much as I hate to admit it, the space feels somewhat vacant without the presence of Quentin Nott. Following his initiation he accepted his first mission, which was in some non disclosed location on the southern end of Scotland. None of us know where he is and have no clue what he could possibly be doing. Lucius told me that Quentin was attempting to achieve a higher rank amongst Death Eaters, since his father has failed many times to do so. He knew he wouldn't be coming back to school following initiation, though he never told anyone, even his closest friends, of his plans. The boys have complete faith that Nott is well and fine, doing his designated duty. I worry, much as I dislike the wizard, I don't wish him dead, and who knows what horrendous task Tom had sent him on.
Tom.
My blood runs cold even thinking of his name in my own head.
My agreement with Tom stayed secret for mere days. He had said he wanted to be the one to inform the rest of society of our future pairing, and he did so at the reception following the initiation of my friends into the Death Eaters. He pulled me in front of everyone, wrapping his arm around my waist as though I were some trophy he had won. It made me nauseous but I stayed calm, putting on a mask of superiority that came sadly easily. The Death Eater minions bowed down to me from that point on- including my own Death Eater minion friends. It is a notion not overly unfamiliar to me, having grown up as royalty, but something feels completely different about this. Everyone in society seems terrified of me now assuming they think I have the power to set my crazy future husband on them at the drop of a hat. These Purebloods were all sworn to secrecy, my future engagement was not to be known by anyone other than those in that room at the time, but to me, it seemed like my whole universe.
"Katarina, here, sit, take my spot" Lucius jolts out of his seat on the leather sofa to make room for me as I approach.
I roll my eyes. Things like this were constant since the announcement; Lucius going out of his way to make me comfortable, safe, protected, etc. It was now his Dark Lord given task to keep me out of harms way and as comfortable as possible.
"You know you don't have to do shit like this," I say offhandedly as I take his spot.
He chuckles, "When the Dark Lord gives you a mission, you do it. No questions asked."
If my eyes could roll farther back I'd be looking at my brain.
Narcissa, turns to me. "Come with us to Hogsmede this weekend," she urges.
I groan, "Not another secret Death Eater meeting. I don't think my nerves can take another late night adventure."
"Oh don't be so dramatic, Kat," Dona scolds with a laugh. "It's Hogsmede weekend, we all get to go shopping, eat, drink, that kinda thing."
Leah pipes up excitedly, "Is it too early to choose a gown for the Equinox Formal?"
"Never too early for a new dress!" Natalie chimes in, nearly jumping out of her seat. "I was thinking a pale pink, maybe even a pale purple, did I wear lavender last year?"
"Alright, Gentlemen, I think our place in this conversation has ended," Corban advises as he goes to stand along with the others. "We'll see you ladies at dinner." They all depart for the Great Hall while Leah and Natalie continue to gush over designers, patterns and fabric.
"Has anyone seen Reg today?" Donatella asks, looking up from her book around the common room.
Leah sighs, "He hasn't been around much since initiation."
My heart drops into my stomach. None of us girls know exactly what happened on the night of initiation. We aren't told what the ceremony entails but it couldn't possibly be anything near moral. Regulus has been avoiding all human contact since it happened and even Severus has become unusually distant.
"If he's not at dinner tonight we need to intervene, the kid needs to eat," Dona replies. "He's already looking too skinny."
The underfed gaunt look was common among the Death Eaters I've seen lately but Regulus is a quidditch star, it wasn't a befitting look for him.
"Speaking of which, can we go? I have detention tonight and need something in my stomach before then," I say as I stand up.
Natalie laughs humorlessly, "The blood traitor again?"
"How ever could you guess?" I drawl sarcastically.
I poked at my food much throughout dinner without really eating any of it. Something about the letter received regarding Corban's first mission to kill an entire muggleborn family post graduation made me lose my appetite.
I drag my feet to the dungeons, hugging my robes tightly to my body to keep out the January bite. This is the first detention I've gotten in a while and I nearly forget what to expect; though being tortured by a certain Gryffindor is involved more times than not.
If I weren't feeling so numb toward every aspect of my life right now I'd might even find myself excited for this detention- an hour to get away from my friends and House, an hour of peace where no one knew that I was the future Mrs. Dark Lord. Once I get out of the circle of Slytherins its almost like I can pretend my life might turn out differently.
I look down to my watch as I step into the Potions classroom. I'm five minutes late. The once punctual Katarina would be a worried mess about this, but the new me could care less. What surprises me is that I am the first one here, including the professor who is holding this detention.
I sigh, annoyed and take my usual seat in the classroom as I wait. Minutes pass by before I hear a hurried set of footsteps running in this direction.
Sirius Black bursts through the door nearly shouting, "I'm here, I'm here," between his exhausted breaths. I look to him with a raised eyebrow.
"Slughorn's not even here yet, relax," I say turning back to the front of the room.
He laughs though he's still out of breath. "Damn, ran all the way here for nothing."
Black saunters over and plops down in his usual seat right next to me and drapes his arm over the back of my chair, "I missed you Petrovsky, have a good rest of the afternoon? Off any unsuspecting muggleborns after lunch?"
I glare at him and push his arm off my chair, "You've got some fucking never, Black."
"Now, now students, don't kill each other before the detention has even begun," Slughorn chastises as he meanders into the room. We both turn to the front to face him.
"I've double booked myself, you see, I have a staff meeting in five minutes. You two in the mean time will entertain yourselves here with hand washing today's class vials since you were so keen on emptying them only hours ago."
Black and I roll our eyes simultaneously.
"I'll be taking your wands with me," Slughorn mentions as he goes toward the door, sticking a hand out to us. I sigh annoyed and hand over my most prized possession as Black does the same.
"See you in an hour!" The professor chimes as he waltzes out of the classroom.
I groan as I stand to grab the container of contaminated vials that sit on the professor's desk. Luckily, there are two, meaning Black and I can work separately.
"Here," I say, walking a container over to him at our desk, "You do these and I'll do those." I gesture to the other container. "That way we don't need to talk."
"Now where is the fun in that?" Black asks in amused disappointment.
I grab my container and take it to a different desk. "I'm going to have loads of fun, I don't know what you're talking about." I reply sarcastically.
"He chuckles to himself and starts cleaning the glass in front of him. For a few minutes the whole working alone thing goes extremely well. I curse myself for having the thought and jinxing it. I hear his wooden chair scraping agonizingly slow across the floor and I wince at the sound.
He brought the chair all the way around to my desk in the front of the classroom and was now sitting directly in front of me.
He meets my scowl with a large smile. "Hi," He says with a wide grin.
I shake my head and keep cleaning, wondering if ignoring him will make him go away. The smile stays on his face as he grabs one of my vials to start cleaning.
"Can't you go clean from your own box, Black?"
He sets his vial down and gives me the charismatic smile that must woo his fan club.
"But then you wouldn't be able to see my gorgeous face and isn't that half the fun of this detention?" He asks with dreamy eyes.
"Spare me," is all I manage to get out, realizing that I have much less fight in me now than I did last semester.
I feel his eyes narrowing on me, "What the hell's going on with you Petrovsky?"
His voice is so stern, a dark change from the joking tone he had a moment ago.
"I don't know what you mean," I say coldly as I wipe a stain from the glass I'm holding.
His gaze remains on me, "You've been totally different since winter break. Today was the first day all week you seemed half yourself. You used to have more life to you, kid, what the hell happened?"
I mentally curse him for picking up on a behavior change in me that even my closest friends didn't notice.
"It's none of your business, Black," I mumble, wiping too vigorously at the smudge adorned glass.
"Katarina, look at me," He orders sternly as I slowly comply. His eyes are warm, the smug smile long gone; he appears genuinely worried about me making the butterflies from weeks ago return.
"What's going on?" He asks again in a careful tone.
I sigh, putting my work down. "I can't tell you." And it's the truth, my impending courtship with the world's darkest wizard is not appropriate conversation for a weeknight detention.
A line pinches between his brows, "Can't or won't?"
"I swallow hard, dropping my gaze from his. "Both."
Black's lips form a tight line and he nods. "What happened to Nott?" He asks after a moment.
"I don't know," I huff, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Another piece of information that is one hundred percent not appropriate to discuss.
"You're just full of information tonight, aren't you?" Black asks sarcastically, leaning back in his chair so that the front two legs are suspended in the air.
I scowl at him, "Stop asking so many questions and pick up another vial. I'd let to be out of here before daylight."
"He chuckles and purses his lips, "You know what, I know what you need."
My arms cross over my chest, "Do you, now?"
Without warning he scoots his chair back and drags it back to his table. "Finish up those vials, we have plans tonight," He says with a wink.
"Oh we have plans?" I ask sarcastically, "And what pray tell are these plans?"
"Finish the damn vials and you'll see," He says smugly, as he ferociously wipes down the glass he's holding.
I roll my eyes but cease my questioning. What seems like hours drones on as we finish our work in silence. Before long, Professor Slughorn reappears.
"Well done, students. Your wands," He hands us back our possessions. "You may go."
Black and I gather our things. He holds his arm out for me to go ahead before him as I eye him wearily and once we pass through the doorway I start in the direction of my common room.
"C'mon Petrovsky, don't be a chicken." Black taunts behind me.
I turn back to face him with pursed lips, "Tell me where you want to take me, then I'll decide."
He rolls his eyes and steps toward me, "I'm gonna need you to have some trust in me, just this one time. You'll see when we get there."
I sigh to myself. The last hour gave me some time away from my overwhelming problems, and if my life is about to take a dark swing after graduation I might as well chase these few chances at excitement before then.
I switch my bag to the other shoulder and gesture for him to turn, "Alright, let's go."
"I knew you couldn't resist me," Black says with another wink before turning on his heel down the corridor.
We walk for a few minutes in relative silence. He whistles along, not a care in the world. How nice it must be to have a mind like his. Nothing ever seems to bother him, and if it does, he'd never show it.
Soon enough I find myself in front of a portrait of quite a large woman in a filly pink dress. She speaks loudly, startling me so much so that I jump slightly.
"Now this isn't a girl I've seen you with before Sirius, and a Slytherin none the less! Is she your first date of the week?" She boasts loudly.
With a look of surprise and annoyance I turn toward the Gryffindor.
"Date?" I ask, crossly.
He shrugs with a goofy grin and says, "Bubblybaggons."
I stare at him quizzically, "The hell-," I barely have time to ask before the portrait is swinging open like a door.
He winks at me and waltzes through the picture, "Hang right there, I'll be back in a jiff."
I huff and put my hands on my hips as the portrait swings closed. I avoid eye contact with the fat lady, but I can feel her unwavering gaze running all over me.
Finally I look up at her, "Take a picture it'll last longer," I snap.
The portrait giggles loudly.
"Oh, definitely a Slytherin," She mutters to herself. "Sirius brings a lot of girls around, but you, my dear, are certainly the prettiest I've seen."
I eye her up and down skeptically.
"Thank you, I think," I utter. She just looks at me, all sure of herself. Not a second later, Black pops back through the door.
"Got it," He says quickly before turning back to face the portrait. "Have a lovely evening, m'lady." The portrait giggles giddily as we depart.
This guy even has the figures in Hogwart's art wrapped around his charismatic finger.
"So that's the Gryffindor common room," I surmise as we walk.
He looks down at me with a raised brow, "Yeah but don't go spilling your guts to those Death Eater friends of yours."
My breath hitches in my throat and I nearly stumble over his words. How would he ever know about that? Does the whole school know? What else do they know?
He's smirking at me, noticing my unease. "Yeah, I know about them."
I clear my throat, "Can we not talk about this right now? Just one night without the words emdeath/em and emeater/em would be wonderful," I nearly beg, feeling my heart rate increasing.
He lets out a laugh. "Yeah, yeah, come on."
Black grabs my hand softly and pulls me up a long set of stairs. We end up in a wide corridor, lined with wooden entryways.
"These are the classrooms that the school doesn't use anymore," He explains as we pass through a wing of Hogwarts that rarely gets seen.
"And this…" He pulls me through a set of mahogany doors. "Is my favorite one."
The room is large with ceilings tall as the sky. The walls are grey stone, much like the rest of the castle. But right in the middle, directly in front of us, is a floor to ceiling window that allows for the moonlight to pour through the room, making everything entirely visible. There is a certain calmness to the space that immediately washes over me, temporarily setting me free from my worries.
"Wow," I sigh, dying to get closer to the window to feel the moonlight on my face.
He squeezes my hand lightly as he looks at my expression. Butterflies dance in my stomach; the same ones that I have been trying to suppress all night and even all year really. I look up to him and smile timidly. He pulls me toward a spot on the floor in front of the immense window. Obviously, he must have done this before because the landing we sit on is adorned with cushions and blankets.
"So how many girls have you brought up here, hm?" I ask with an amused expression.
"He smirks, "One or two, maybe." I laugh and let go of his hand to get myself comfortable on the cushions. "But none with this particular intention," He says as he pulls the flask out of his robes- that must have been what he needed the pit stop at his common room for.
"Hand it over," I order reaching for the alcohol. He laughs and gives it to me. I take swig of it, not caring what exactly it is.
I regret this decision immediately as I cough up half of the contents I just attempted to swallow, "You trying to kill me?" I ask exacerbated.
He's cracking up and takes the bottle out of my hands before taking large gulp himself. "It's called Tequila," he explains, "Deadly stuff, right?"
I cough again and wipe my mouth with my sleeve before chuckling despite my near death experience.
"So your intention being to get me drunk," I ask, grabbing the flask from him again taking a better, more hesitant sip. It goes down easier this time and I even enjoy it a small bit.
He lies back so that his elbows are supporting his torso and his legs stretch out in front of him. "Nah, just trying to get you to let loose a little bit since you walk with a broomstick up your ass lately."
I gasp and hit him with the closest pillow with as much strength I can muster.
"Hey!" He yells through his fit of laughs as he tries to grab the pillow assaulting him, "I'm trying to help here!" He defends. "Gimme that, you lunatic," He says reaching for the Tequila.
I take one more sip before handing it over.
"So if this isn't your usual intention with the ladies up here then what is?" I ask slyly, already knowing the answer.
He gives me one of those hallmark Sirius Black smiles, the one that would make anyone weak in the knees, "To get in their knickers, of course."
He is so crass that I can't help but to laugh loudly, "I should have known since you tried to do the same thing to me in a dingy, dirty, Quidditch locker room."
Black turns to me with narrowed, excited eyes, "If I remember correctly, you were the one trying to get into my knickers that night."
I snag the flask from his hand, "Then you certainly aren't remembering it correctly," I jeer as I sip.
Black leans back even further then, putting his hands behind his head to lie down comfortably, staring out the large window the whole time.
"There's a lot about that night that I remember very well," I comments with a smirk, eyes still on the stars.
My cheeks heat up and I take another drink. The Russian in me is a little embarrassed to admit that this stuff is strong- so strong that I might already be feeling a little fuzzy in the head.
Black's voice pulls me out of my hazy thoughts, "Let's play a game."
I look to him with a cocked brow, "What kind of game?"
"Questions and answers," He suggests. "We get to ask whatever we want, if we don't answer then we have to drink. Loser is whoever gets drunk the fastest. Everything said here, stays here."
I ponder for a moment before my hazy body nods in agreement, against my better judgement. "Fine, but I get to ask first."
He chuckles, "Shoot."
"Let's start easy," I muse, looking up to the bright open sky. "Favorite color?"
He shifts so that he's fully facing me, "Red, of course," he says with an obvious smile.
I grin back, guilt adorning my face, "Mine, too." I say in a near whisper. He shoots up to a sitting position.
"What?! You?! A Slytherin?!" He runs a hand through his hair in utter shock. "Oh man, this is too good."
I can't help chuckling at his disbelief. The truth is I favor red because it reminds me of home. I wore it nearly every day, the color plastered our walls, was in our family crest- the color enveloped my old life. I find myself missing it dearly among the sea of green being bestowed upon me lately.
"Tell anyone and you're dead," I warn.
He puts his hands up in defense, "Hey I'm not a game rule breaker."
I roll my eyes and take another sip of the burning liquid. "Now you ask." He grabs the flask from me to drink.
A wicked gleam strikes his eyes, "Are you a virgin?"
I laugh loudly, "Should have known you'd ask that."
Black wiggles his eyebrows, "So? Are you?"
I take the flask from his hand, "Do you think I'm a virgin?"
"Now, now, you can't answer a question with a question while playing the question game!" He scolds, shaking his head.
I smirk while taking a sip, "Fine. No, I'm not a virgin."
He "oo's" dramatically in reply with a big grin on his face, "Naughty, naughty princess."
I roll my eyes and throw the pillow at him again that he dodges easily. "I won't even bother asking if you're a virgin since everyone knows you're mattress of Hogwarts," I jest.
He gasps playfully in response, "Katarina, I didn't take you as one to fuel the rumor mill!"
Shrugging I say, "Hey, I call it like I see it. Even your silly Fat Lady portrait seems to agree."
He groans, "Yeah, yeah sure. Your turn."
Another smirk plays on my face, "Boxers or briefs?"
His laughter roars through the room, "Getting into the deep stuff early, are we?"
"Mhmmm," I answer, waiting patiently for his response.
"Boxers. One hundred percent. Every time," Black assures. "Wanna see?" He wiggles his brows up and down.
I make a fake noise of disgust hiding my amusement, "Absolutely not. Next Question."
I'm terrified of what kind of question might pop to this Gryffindors mind next. I'm expecting another crude question about my sex life or my connection to the Death Eaters, wondering if this whole game had some type of ulterior motive.
"Tell me about your sister."
His non-question takes me by surprise as my stomach drops in dread. I look to him sadly and his warm eyes meet mine, just waiting for me to be ready to answer.
I sigh deeply, trying to find the words to describe the wonder that was Sasha Petrovsky.
"She was my world," I start with a small smile, thinking only of her bright blue eyes. "Sasha had such a fierceness, which you would never expect before meeting her since she was so petite and quiet," I say with a somber laugh as I try to focus on picking at my fingers.
Growing up I could have never imagined a life without my sister; we were joint at the hip from the time she was born. My mother used to have to pry my tiny fingers off of her crib when we were children, because I never wanted to leave her alone, not even for a second. Sasha and I were thick as thieves and could get away with anything when we were together and both my parents knew it.
"She was beautiful and full of light. Always wanted to be a healer and she'd be damn good at it too; she was so very intelligent," I explain, meeting Black's gaze. "She was my best friend." A tear rolls down my face, and before I get the chance to stop it I feel his thumb wipe it from my cheek. A tingling sensation is left where his skin just touched mine.
"I think I'll take that drink anyway," I mumble with a sullen smile. He passes me the flask with a soft grin.
I throw back another shot and turn to face the Gryffindor, "Tell me about your brother."
Black clears his throat, "You already know my brother," he mumbles, looking out the window.
My eyes roll, "Tell me about your relationship with him. Where and when did it all go so wrong?"
I'm not trying to be nosy by asking this. I have often wondered why the two had become so estranged especially since they are incredibly similar in so many ways.
He sighs deeply. "Reg and I were like you and your sister when we were kids. I never let him leave my sight growing up because I worried about him all the time. Our house growing up was like an insane asylum, every single adult was crazy for different reasons," He explains.
"But Reg was always our parents favorite, because he was too timid to ever stand against a single thing they did, no matter how wicked," He goes on. "There were just too many horrid things that they did on a daily basis that made me want to fight back. Reg was too afraid."
Regret is all over his face as he stares into the night sky. Though months ago I lost my sister, Black, too, lost his sibling. His pain seems as real as mine, if not worse. I cannot imagine it would be any easier to lose a sibling this way, especially when it was by choice and not by fate.
"He's a sweet kid. Funny and charming," I start, grabbing Black's attention as he listens attentively. "Reminds me a lot of you. He's so damn cheeky sometimes," I giggle. "And he's been a major hit with the ladies lately. One of my dorm mates is absolutely smitten with him." Black breaks a small smile.
"Helps that he looks like me," He says with an air of pride.
I breathe out another laugh. "It's not too late," I urge, looking deeply into his eyes. "You could still be his friend, his brother again."
Black clears his throat and sits up straighter. "Unfortunately, it is too late, I know what happened over winter break."
Instead of my usual panic setting in at his knowledge of the Death Eaters, a feeling of heartbreak takes its place. I take another sip of the Tequila letting my gaze find the stars, hoping it will fix this feeling.
"I just won't be able to forgive myself if he dies," Black mumbles, his voice nearly cracking with sadness. I scoot slightly closer to him and place my small hand on his broad shoulder.
"I'll look after him for you," I nearly whisper as I'm met with the broken eyes of Sirius Black; it would seem his weak spot was finally found.
He leans his face close to mine; I can feel his soft warm breath on my face. His nose touches mine lightly and I can't help but to close my eyes and relish in the intimate feeling. He brings a hand around as he grabs the back of my neck and pulls my lips to his.
I give in easily and let myself enjoy the rushing release of all my burdens. His lips are firm against mine, but feel light as a feather. I could live in this moment forever, away from Death Eaters, wars and sadistic fiancés. Reaching up I take the hand that was on his shoulders and touch his dark curls with it, grabbing them as though they were the last thing holding me to this earth. His tongue slips into my mouth and I moan into his kiss but Black breaks away the moment before I jump into his arms.
He chuckles, "The Tequila was supposed to make this game fun, not depressing."
His hand moves to my cheek and he rubs small circles onto it with his calloused thumb. I can't find it in me to break my eyes away from his silver orbs.
"I don't wanna go back," I whisper. It comes out before I even have a moment to think about its double meaning.
He gives me a small smile and pulls me in for another longing kiss. "C'mon your common room can't be that bad," He jests against my lips.
I sigh sullenly into him, "I don't want to go back to any of it."
And though he doesn't know exactly to what I am referring and couldn't possibly imagine what it is I long to escape, he touches his forehead to mine and whispers, "So stay with me."
The ache in my heart is amplified throughout my entire body. If any of this were my choice, maybe I would stay here forever with this silly, annoying, sweet, caring Gryffindor. But I don't have the luxury of making choices based off what I want.
Tonight though, tonight I can make a choice for me. Tonight I can let myself be happy.
He grins at the goofy, intoxicated smile on my face as I give into my own selfishness, "Your turn to ask a question."