A/N: Hello everyone! We've had quite a few new readers over the past weeks so I wanted to remind everyone that updates and Mondays and Wednesdays weekly. I appreciate all of your comments, and special shout out to those of you who have pointed out spelling/grammar issues that I can go back and fix for the next round of readers-normally I try to proof read fairly closely, but I was sick for 2 weeks and the extra hand is always appreciated. Cheers to all of you posting your favorite parts, ideas for what happens next, and fic recs that you think I'd like based on this story! Have a great start to your week, and thanks again for reading!
November 30, 1981
Tonks Residence, Salisbury
Andromeda Tonks was an avid collector of memories.
It didn't matter whose they were- her own, or someone else's- so long as they were meaningful. Moments that changed a life's trajectory, small conversations leading to big life decisions, heartfelt memories of times with loved ones… they were all equally precious to her.
Her collection had begun while at Hogwarts, when she'd first learned the spell necessary to pull a memory from oneself in an advanced Charms Club lecture. But it wasn't long before she was asking for others' memories as well- first Narcissa's memory of the day she'd met Lucius, then Bellatrix's memory of one of the tea parties they'd been forced to attend as children (where Bella had dropped a toad down Mrs. Abbot's robes).
And then she'd fine tuned her art.
Whereas others who pulled out memories left nothing to be retrieved by the most accomplished Legilimens- faint whispers of the event, specific details blurring into the background and going unnoticed in the fog of one's mind- Andromeda made a point to only take copies of the events so sacred to others. Memories were not lost forever- they were documented, shared, given value outside one's own mind.
As word spread slowly of her experiments, more and more people offered her memories for her collection- alongside a promise to be able to review them upon request.
Ted Tonks had come to her the first day after Christmas break their sixth year and told her that he had several memories for her. Andromeda had been surprised- not because he was the first muggleborn to offer her memories, not because he was a Huffelpuff (she'd long since come to realize the Hufflepuffs didn't take stock in the rumors about her family)- but because she actually knew who he was. Ted Tonks had, after all, been at all the same advanced Charms Club lectures she had been for the past six years. And while they'd not spoken but a handful of words in passing- why should they? He tall and handsome and popular, she the quietest of the Blacks- she had noticed his expression when he listened to the lecturer more than once. Quiet awe, a sense of reverence. An appreciation for the knowledge being handed to him that made Andromeda sharply aware of what advantages she had grown up with.
She'd agreed to take his memories- just the copies, of course- in one of the dozens of unused classrooms between their dorms in the dungeons. The fire he lit surprised her, as did the transfigured chairs. It wasn't just charms he excelled at, then.
"Are you quite sure you give me permission?"
Ted had looked back at her, shaking blonde curls out of trusting eyes. "Of course. Whenever you're ready."
She explained to him how to focus on the specific memories he wanted her to copy, walked him through the incantation she would use to guide and copy his memories. When they finally completed Andromeda's most sacred ritual, there were six carefully bottled groups of memories sitting on the low table beside them and Andromeda was breathing heavily.
"I'd like you to watch them on your own," Ted said quietly. "I've been told that isn't your normal practice- you watch them with your donors."
Andromeda must have looked wary, because he grinned. "Look, if you can't get to them by tomorrow, that's ok. I'll wait here for you every night at 7 sharp for the next two weeks. And if you don't show up, I'll get it."
Before Andromeda could protest- or even question- Ted had slipped quietly from the room, leaving her sitting with a roaring fire and bottles of his memories.
She'd watched him all day the next day. Peeked around Narcissa's white blonde hair at breakfast as her younger sister complained about Lucius having the audacity to even glance at one of the Greengrass girls. Stared over the cover of her Potions book in the library. Glanced between the branches of her plant in Herbology. Andromeda wasn't sure what she was looking for, wasn't sure why she was wary of the Hufflepuff boy's request for her to watch his memories alone, but she watched.
That night, she did not meet him.
The pattern continued for the next three days. Andromeda decided that he was annoyingly pretty- all blonde curls and brown eyes and tanned skin and lanky puppy awkwardness in his limbs. He was certainly kind- she wasn't sure if he had a compulsion on him or if he just genuinely enjoyed going out of his way to help first years, to assist professors, to coach panicking house mates through their in class work. He was funny, but in an exasperating way- Andromeda had never heard ridiculous jokes like his before, she was used to the cutting commentary of her family dinners.
He was the least scary person she had ever observed- not that she had ever gone out of her way to study someone like this before- but she remained wary of his memories.
And for a full week, she did not meet him.
It was, surprisingly, a letter from Bellatrix (freshly turned out upon the world and married, pursuing some odd apprenticeship in old magic that she spoke very little of) that made up her mind. "Sweet Meda, I hope you have remembered who you are and have kept the lessers in their place in my absence. I am anxious to see what you are capable of. Someday soon I will call upon you to become the force of nature I know you can grow to be if you abandon some of your more stringent morals."
Andromeda hadn't kept the school terrified of the Black name in her older sister's absence. She didn't want to be a force of nature, and she didn't want to be called on by anyone for anything. Andromeda wanted to keep quietly collecting memories and studying emotions.
Memories and emotions- she was not afraid of them compared to the future. She could handle the muggleborn Hufflepuff's memories.
She had been given a Pensieve not long after she expressed her interest in memories and understanding them better- Grandfather Pollux had given her one of his nervous smiles and whispered that she shouldn't tell her Grandmother before explaining how to use the semi-rare magical device. The Pensieve went with her where she did, shrunk down by a charm Grandfather Pollux insisted she learn and hidden behind a half dozen notice-me-not spells in her heavily warded trunk. (By now, everyone knew it was kept there- but Andromeda was a Black, and Bellatrix had only been two years ahead of her, and so they would not dare consider touching it.)
On the night she watched Ted's memories, she took the Pensieve to one of the potions practice rooms- so rarely used that most students knew nothing of them- and set up near the fireplace after locking the door no less than seven times. Andromeda promised her donors confidentiality- the number of students who had given her memories of cheating, of eavesdropping, of private moments and discussions made it mandatory.
She poured in the first set of memories, took a deep breath, and dove in.
It took a second to realize where she was- awkwardly sliding over the water as she followed the first year boats on the way to be sorted. In front of her sat what appeared to be 11 year old Ted Tonks, a Ravenclaw named Elijah Wood, and…. Herself?
Andromeda had no recollection of who she had shared the boat with.
"I read that no one tells you how you'll be sorted because its so scary," Elijah was saying, his gaze on Ted's shaking form clearly a little malicious. "Maybe we get to fight trolls!"
"But I don't- I mean I've only just-," Ted sounded a bit uncertain, cutting himself off hesitantly.
"Tosh." Had she really said that? "Don't be so silly. The sorting is perfectly safe and likely quite boring and all that will happen is you'll be placed where you need to go. And would you hold still? You're going to upset the boat, and my sister will hex me if I get my hair wet."
Bemused, Andromeda allowed herself to be swept away by wispy vapors into the next memory scene in the Great Hall. The sorting was clearly underway- Juno Barmes was shuffling towards Gryffindor anxiously- and then, "Black, Andromeda!" rang through the air.
Andromeda forced herself to watch the young incarnation of Ted rather than herself- he had a peculiar hopeful expression on his face as he tracked her progress to the stool in the center of the Great Hall. He waited with the rest for several long moments- unlike her older sister, Andromeda had not been an automatic "Slytherin!". Her Grandfather Pollux had, after all, often told her she was nigh serious enough for Ravenclaw.
But the sorting eventually came, and Andromeda slipped off the stool to join the other snakes.
"Know much about Slytherin?" Ted Tonks asked the boy beside him casually- Lucius Malfoy himself. How unfortunate.
The Malfoy heir wrinkled his nose. "Whats it matter to you? Slytherin would never let in a mudblood."
Andromeda had heard the slur a million times, but hearing it directed at a child who she knew was more passionate about magic that Lucius Malfoy could ever hope to be? It felt… wrong.
Andromeda was swept away again, the world this time reforming around her in the shape of the Charms classroom- still first year, based on the decorations and the size of the students. Ted Tonks had clearly found his friends in Hufflepuff- he was settled securely between Maxwell Moffat and Edgar Bones in the front row of the Hufflepuff section.
"I am excited to invite each of you to join us in further exploring charms- there are so many wonderful things outside of what we will be able to cram into our classes together that may benefit you, or even give you some idea of what you want from your futures." Professor Fortinabas beamed out at the class, brandishing a long sheet of parchment in one hand. "Please write down your name on your way out if you're interested in being invited to our first meeting."
She tacked the parchment on the wall before continuing her end of class announcements.
"Who wants to do extra school work?" Andromeda rolled her eyes at Maxwell as he tipped his chair back onto two legs. "Swot stuff, that."
"You're just worried you'll grab your wand by the wrong end again," Edgar teased lightly before nudging Ted. "You gonna do it?"
"Eh, I dunno- I prefer Transfiguration so far."
Andromeda was surprised- after all, she knew Ted had signed up and then been one of the club's most devoted attendees. So why…?
Professor Fortinabas released the class with her trademark airy, "And be good till I see you again, children!" and Andromeda ghosted to the board to watch the first year signing up for the Charms Club. She'd forgotten that this was a shared class with Slytherin, which meant that-
Sure enough, her younger self was the first to approach the board. Cooly confident, first year Andromeda signed her name in a curling script that had been beaten into habit by multiple governesses. Once again, Andromeda had to stop herself from studying her younger self and focus on Ted… who was watching her?
Startled, Andromeda watched Ted's eyes stare seriously at the back of his head before, hopping down the stairs, he signed his own name right after hers.
"Changed your mind, huh?"
Ted sent Edgar a wide grin. "Might as well give it a shot, right?"
Andromeda was whisked into the fog again, this time opening her eyes to find herself in the real world outside of the Pensieve. A little disoriented, she carefully rebottled the assortment of memories, pausing before she dumped the second bottle into the Pensieve. There was something that she was missing- but she wasn't quite sure what. And really, did she want to figure it out?
The image of Ted Tonks' open, honest face came to mind and she dumped in his next vial of memories.
She found herself in the foggy memory of second year, where Ted Tonks stared in dismay at the baby mandrake plant in front of him. "Uhm, so, these are actually plants?"
"Of course, Mr. Tonks."
"And we… chop them up and use them in potions?"
"Very specific potions, but yes."
"But they seem very… alive. Isn't that a bit questionable?"
The Herbology teacher appeared to be trying to hide her smile as she raised her voice to the class. "And who can tell me why using mandrakes in potions is a harmless practice?"
Andromeda started when it was her younger self who was called on. "Mandrakes are classified as plants instead of as magical creatures for three reasons- first, they are fed via photosynthesis and flourish with fertilizer, which is a sign of being a plant. Second, like plants and unlike creatures, they are incapable of feeling pain and have no actual brain. Thirdly, the similarities between madrakes and humanoid creatures is only a defensive mechanism on part of the plant itself."
Ted Tonks visibly relaxed, sending a grateful smile in her oblivious direction.
Unsure of the significance of the event, Andromeda was struggling to think of why Ted had given her such a commonplace memory as the fog reformed itself around her. Now she was in the Charms Club room, during a meeting which she remembered very well- after all, it was where her obsession had begun.
Ted Tonks was sitting near her, three empty seats between them. He was paying perfect attention to the lecture- perfect attention, except for glancing her way every ten minutes or so to see how she was reacting to the lecturer's words. At the very end, when he stood up to leave he shot her a wide grin. "Super interesting stuff, right?"
But Andromeda had already darted off to catch the lecturer before he left, anxious to have more questions answered and oblivious to the now downcast Hufflepuff.
Andromeda was frowning when she emerged from the Pensieve this time, and quickly switched out the second and third bottles before diving right back in.
She had never visited the Hufflepuff common room, but she knew it on sight- the wide round windows, the yellow walls, the cheery plants all indicated she had entered the badgers' den. On ridiculously overstuffed couches in the center of the room (honestly, her mother would blow them apart after a glance) Ted Tonks lounged with his friends, all three of their noses buried in Quidditch magazines.
"Say, Edgar, what do you think of the changes to the Harpies roster?" Maxwell grinned as Edgar turned bright red behind his magazine. "Who would have thought you'd be able to buy a full size poster of your crush soon? 'Course, half the blokes in London'll also have Vauntley on their walls, but-,"
Cut off by a pillow to the face, Maxwell fell over howling in mock outrage before tossing a pillow back at poor embarrassed Edgar.
"Just jealous that there's no one who would ever fancy your ugly arse, admit," Edgar taunted, eyes sparkling and clearly prepared to wrestle.
Tedd groaned. "Could you both please not rip the new mags? I haven't been through them all!"
"And of course there's no sadder tale than that of your love, Teddy my boy," Maxwell hopped back onto the couch, slinging an arm around Ted's suddenly stiff shoulders.
"Ah yes, the elusive love of his life, destined to never know he exists."
"Oh shove off- she knows I exist." Ted paused. "I think."
The next memory was back in the Charms Club room, where Andromeda realized Ted was once again sitting exactly three empty seats away from her. Based on the single braid down her back, it was third year- Bella hadn't thought it appropriate for her baby sister to wear the more mature hairstyle till she was thirteen despite Bella's own notoriously free curls.
She barely remembered this particular lecture- discussing variations of household charms- but it had clearly been important to Ted if he had included it in the set of memories. She knew the awed expression on his face well- it had always been the single most interesting thing about Ted Tonks, the way he loved magic so passionately. At the very end of the memory, Andromeda watched her younger self nearly stumble over Ted's book bag on her way out of the room.
"Oh, wow, I'm really sorry Black." Ted's face was split between horror and delight, bright red spots blooming on both cheeks.
"No harm done," younger Andromeda said idly, not even looking at him as she continued out of the room.
Ted's memories flew by quickly- and Andromeda found herself featured in almost all of them. Snippets on near-conversations, missed chances to actually say something- dozens of them across the past six years. In some memories, Ted was with his friends and they would tease him about his unrequited love- always leaving Ted perfectly defiant and convinced he would be seen eventually.
It was a memory from the first term of sixth year, however, that confirmed Andromeda's hesitant and shocked suspicion.
"Oh, Teddy boy, I heard Narcissa Black saying that her big sis was going to Hogsmeade with Rosier," Maxwell slid onto the bench at what appeared to be lunch, grinning at Edgar over Ted's shoulder.
"Rosier? Oh dear, Ted- those curly blonde good looks of yours might not be able to stand a chance against Mr. Pure Pureblood himself!" Edgar's mock distress was enough to earn him a sharp glare from Ted.
"Its such a shame you didn't ask her first- maybe during one of your stimulating conversations?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Maxy- they don't talk!"
"Ah, well then perhaps through your particularly suave use of body language?"
"It's a shame she never looks at him!"
Maxwell shook his head mournfully. "Truly a trial. The most doomed love of all time, one might say."
"Would you pricks knock it off?" Ted demanded, and Andromeda watched in shock as he stared glumly across the room at the Slytherin table- at her.
"Would you just find your stones and tell her so you can get rejected and move on already?" Maxwell countered, and Ted threw potatoes at his head.
Andromeda was reeling by the time she left the last of Ted's memories. Running a hand through her hair, she stared blankly at the the Pensieve for several long minutes before carefully, as if handling an explosive material, rebottling and setting aside the last of Ted's freely offered memories.
Well, he had found his stones. Maxwell was probably thrilled.
But how on earth could he feel that way, when they'd never had a full discussion? Could you even care about someone with that little knowledge of their character?
Andromeda thought about the boy she had watched obsessively over the past week, and wondered if it was indeed possible.
Three more days passed before she decided to meet him- three long, agonizing days where she thought about her family, about what she had been raised to believe, about the absolute nonexistent chance she could publicly date a muggle born. Thought about the repercussions if she tried.
But when she saw him waiting for her, cautiously hopeful as he glanced up at the opening door, those thoughts melted away.
"I'm a Black," she had warned, and he laughed.
"I know. But might as well give it a shot, right?"
And so they did.
They met in secret- their favored classroom, the Astronomy Tower, other hidden holes of the castle. It helped they were both prefects. Andromeda was wonderfully, blissfully happy as Ted introduced her to muggle wonders like movies- and how close they were to memories in a pensieve in some ways!- and science fiction books. She was so happy, in fact, that she forgot to be careful.
"I know you've been having a good time at school," Bella had said as she laid across Andromeda's bed. "And I guess I can't blame you- some of those mudbloods would probably be a good ride even if they are disgusting on principle. But it'll need to end immediately. Father's decided that you'll marry the summer after you graduate."
Andromeda's mind reeled- Narcissa, surely, had been the one to rat her out to Bellatrix, but what was this about a wedding?
"You'll be marrying into the Nott family," her father had said firmly at dinner that night.
"But… I didn't realize there was a Nott my age," Andromeda commented diplomatically.
"He's older, but a firm hand would do you well Andromeda. You're a tad... spacey. But you're beautiful, and he can admire that even if he does wonder at your obsession with memories. He may even allow you to continue it."
May even allow you to continue it.
Andromeda went back to school and showed Ted the memory. She didn't cry- she had done that months ago. She didn't ask for his opinion or his help- she needed neither. She just wanted him to know- needed him to understand.
But to her surprise, he instead asked her a question.
"Andromeda Black. Will you give up your whole world and marry me instead?"
On the night of graduation, Andromeda packed two trunks with everything she wanted from her childhood home- including a favored painting of herself with her sisters, and several old heirlooms, and her entire memory collection. She wrote a long note, blasted herself off the family tree with a confident burning hex, and walked out into the night to marry Ted Tonks.
Her family hadn't accepted it quite that easily, of course. Bellatrix in particular had been… unamused.
"You're choosing a mudblood over your family?" Bellatrix stood raging on her doorstep in the rain, odd dark robes hanging off her thin frame like a collapsed tent. "How dare you do this to me Meda! You are coming home at once!"
Andromeda had rolled her eyes. "It isn't about you, Bella- I love you all, but I wanted a choice."
"Ok, fine! I'll kill Nott tomorrow so you won't have to marry him- then will you come home?"
"Bella! You can't just go around killing people to get what you want!"
Except, Bella clearly had been doing exactly that. The rumor mill was flooded with who exactly Bella's 'apprenticeship' had been for.
She'd come back several times, once with Narcissa, who she shook like a rag doll in Andromeda's direction. "You've broken her heart!" the oldest Black sister accused savagely while Narcissa attempted to look more sad than put out.
"Pity. I'm pregnant, by the way- definitely not getting a divorce now."
"Ew," Narcissa wrinkled her nose in a perfect impression of her beau. "You're going to birth a half blood, Meda. Gross."
Andromeda rolled her eyes.
It was only when Bella took it upon herself to "helpfully" kill of her husband that Andromeda lost her patience. Bellatrix Lestrange got a good look at the force of nature she had once so wanted to be released.
"That is enough!" Andromeda shrieked, auburn curls crackling with magic and anger. "I am done with your interference- I am NOT a Black anymore, I am a TONKS!"
Andromeda rather savored that particular memory. Sometimes, when she was scared by some antic of her child or news article about the Death Eaters' movements, she watched it to remind herself that no one on the planet would stand between her and the family she had actually chosen. Certainly not the family she had left behind.
Not that she didn't occasionally pay homage to her roots- Nymphandora's middle name (Lyra) was a prime example, and she'd been following the paper chronicles of the changes in House Black with a surprising amount of interest.
Not enough interest to prepare herself for the visitor who appeared on her doorstep one rainy Monday morning no different than the first time Bellatrix had visited.
Andromeda prayed for patience as she eyed the glamorous socialite her spoilt little sister had grown into. "Oh, hello Narcissa. I suppose you'll be wanting tea?"