'Sara? Sweetheart?' Catherine questioned, as her heart sank at the revelation

Turning away slightly Sara wrapped her arms tighter around her legs 'I'm sorry' she choked out as she began to cry

'It's ok, it's ok….' Catherine placed her hand on Sara's back, trying to offer the younger women some comfort 'You need to tell us though Sara, we just want to help'

'I… I smoke… I've smoked weed on and off for years, I often take poppers before…intimacy… I take non-prescriptive Valium when things get too much…I'm sorry…. I'm sorry….'

'Shhhh….Shhhh' Catherine tried to soothe her, wrapping her arms tightly around Sara's body and pulling her in close.

Jamie watched the interaction with interest, taking in Catherine's body language as much as Sara's, giving them a few minutes before speaking again.

'Sara… my main expertise is in diet, and I don't think I'll be able to help you alone… I have a colleague, Dr Peter Gardner; I think together we can get you through this, if you'll let us try, let us help you?'

Sara nodded, her head buried in Catherine's chest, before she pulled away slightly, rubbing the tears from her face.

'Are you up for talking a little more about your issues with food?' she asked gently

Hesitating before answering, Sara tentatively reached her hand out to Catherine's, wanting and needing the familiar comfort it bought her, and was grateful when Catherine laced their fingers together, squeezing gently.

'Ok'

'Thank you' Jamie offered a small but genuine smile 'Sara, I need to know how often you have these periods of not eating?'

Sara shrugged 'I don't know…few times a year?'

'Define a few?'

'5?' Sara mumbled, her voice not at all convincing. Jamie raised an eyebrow at this figure

'8, maybe more…' Sara confessed 'It depends, different triggers, different reasons…'

'Ok, so a better question would be, what are your triggers?'

Hanging her head low once more, Sara fall silent. Once again squeezing her hand, Catherine gave her the courage to speak.

'I'm a criminalist… domestic abuse cases, rape, cases involving children…when I feel like I've failed at my job…'

Jamie nodded in understanding 'Do you get these kinds of cases often?'

Once again Sara shrugged

'Yes, unfortunately, we do… I work with Sara' Catherine offered

'Ok… does your supervisor know you struggle with these cases?'

'No' Sara mumbled

'Ok… well perhaps you should talk to them, ask not to be assigned…'

'I'm a murderer, I haven't got a job anymore' Sara interrupted

Jamie put her pen down, and thought for a moment 'Regardless if you have a job or not Sara, you still need to talk about these things, you still need to eat, and you need to stop punishing yourself because of the actions of others. Starving yourself achieves nothing…'

Once again Sara interrupted 'It's what I deserved, what I wanted, I wasn't worthy of food then, I'm not worthy of it now. You can't change it, so please stop trying'

'Oh Sara….' Catherine wiped a tear away from the corner of her eye.

'Don't' Sara spat out 'Please don't'

'Don't tell me I don't care Sara, if I didn't care you wouldn't be here right now, you'd be in a jail cell without a friend in the world, don't you dare tell me you aren't worth fighting for, and don't you dare tell me you don't deserve to eat. Food is a right, not a privilege, and if you can't see that after all these years, then I feel damn sorry for you. How can you still believe all these years later that what your Mother and Father put you through was ok, how can you just sit here, allowing yourself to waste away? Surely you've been punished enough for one lifetime, hell for 10 lifetimes, why starve yourself too?' Catherine spat out, an edge of venom seeping into her voice, even as her hand continued to hold Sara's, the other rubbing soothing circles on her back once more.

'It's the only thing I know'

'Please let us help, I don't want you to suffer anymore Sara' Catherine pleaded

'Sara, regardless of what the D.A said, if I believe a patient of mine to be a danger to themselves, I have the power to put them into permanent rehabilitation clinics, or, where necessary, commit them. The choice is yours right now… you need to let us help, you need to start eating' Jamie explained calmly.

'I'm tired, I want to go home'

'Ok…' Catherine sighed, knowing that pushing Sara anymore would only make things worse.

'Ok Sara' Jamie agreed, opening her desk drawer and pulling out some leaflets about eating disorders and depression and handing them over to Catherine 'I'd like to see you again, would Monday be ok?'

Sara gave the barest of nods, acknowledging the question

'Is there a particular time that works best for you?' Jamie asked, looking between both women

'We… I' Catherine corrected herself 'Work nightshift, and then I need to take my daughter to school… about 8.45 would be great, as I normally sleep during the day and I'm Sara's….' Catherine paused for a moment, trying to think of the best word to use to describe the situation

'She's my transport and my guardian until I receive a jail sentence…'

Catherine smiled weakly, moving her hand up to the side of Sara's face, and rubbing it gently, lifting her chin to look into her eyes 'I'm your friend and I care Sara'

'I know' Sara admitted, before turning her head away once again and standing up.

Xxx

The drive back to Catherine's was made in silence, Sara not having the energy to talk anymore, and Catherine unsure what else she could say. Once inside Sara started to head straight to the guestroom.

'Sara…' Catherine called after her 'Do you want…are you…. Are you hungry?'

'No, I'm…I'm ok… I need to sleep… I'll eat later. I promise'

'Ok' Catherine watched Sara start walking again, and once more called out after her 'Sara?'

Sara paused, but didn't turn around this time

'Do you need anything? Do you want any company?' Catherine asked, her voice so quiet, Sara almost didn't hear it.

Reaching out behind her, Sara held her hand out, inviting Catherine to take it in her silent response.

Together they silently walked to the bedroom, kicked off their shoes, and then lay on the bed facing one another.

Catherine tucked a stray piece of hair behind Sara's ear before moving her hand to rest on Sara's arm, and then closed her eyes.

Sara placed her arm on Catherine's waist.