Summer

"Damn this is hard," DongWon said with a laugh. "How can one song be perfectly suited for both low and high ceilings?"
"I say we go with the high ceilings," I said, pointing at a picture of a potential location for filming the MV for Crawl. "It'll give us more choices for the camerawork."
"I don't know," DongWon countered. "Working in a tighter space and bringing out all of the emotions in Crawl? I smell an award for best direction."
"Hmm. I think you're right." I reached for one of the pictures that had been taken in an old mine. "It's gonna be a bitch to get this prepped for shooting and get all our equipment down there. You sure it passed safety checks?"
"Absolutely. We hired some consultants to double check. We didn't just believe the owner's team," he answered.
"Alright, then. Contact the MV team and let them know," I said. "Unless they're of a different opinion and they'd like to discuss it, we'll go with this."
"Sure. Let me pull up some pictures from the fittings the guys did last night and let you take a look at their clothes for the next photo shoot," he said, flipping through files on his tablet. "God, what magazine is it even for?"
"That new girlfriend keeping you awake at night?" I asked with a laugh.
He was grumbling an answer when an assistant barged in without knocking and hurried over to us. "Min PD-nim, you have to see this. Jeon JungKook just held a press conference."
I raised my eyebrows skeptically, but accepted the phone that he was passing to me and pressed the play button. Jeon JungKook, one of the top solo artists in the country, was standing on the steps in front of some building, addressing a small gathering of reporters.
"I'd like to thank everyone for coming on such short notice," he began, as usual he was confident and well-spoken, if a little shy. "Entertainment companies and the way they treat their artists and trainees have been in the news for a while now, and I guess I'm going to be adding my story to the mix."
"I've recently discovered that RGX has been lying about profits from my appearances and concerts, essentially stealing money from me. I did my best to work this out with management, but those talks have fallen through and I'm not going to continue to give my time and effort to people who lied and stole from me for years any more. According to-"
The assistant reached in front of me and scrolled the video forward. "Here, some of this stuff isn't really important."
"-career, without a doubt. I'm actually going to do bigger and better things now that I'm no longer being hampered by the management at RGX. I'm planning on going to Whizhaven and I'd like to work until Min YoonGi. If they'll take me on."
"Min YoonGi?" one of the reporters asked. "Doesn't he have a very questionable reputation?"
JungKook's expression got a little harder. "There are the rumors that are thrown around in the press, and then there's the stuff that everyone behind the scenes knows. I'll be moving to Whizhaven because they have the best possible reputation and so does Min YoonGi. At this point, I wish I'd been with them from the very beginning. I would have had a completely different experience."
"If that's the case, then what do-" a reporter began, but the assistant was reaching down to take the tablet away from me and stop the video.
"You see that? You cleared your name during that interview and now talent from other labels are speaking out on your behalf. Jeon JungKook is planning on coming here?" the assistant asked of no one in particular. "Whizhaven is going to be unstoppable."
"He's right," DongWon said when I didn't immediately answer. "This is a huge boost in a lot of ways."
"Yeah," I said with a shake of my head. "I wonder how many other artists RGX has been doing this to. Jeon JungKook is their biggest idol. If they were screwing him over, there's no telling what they're doing to lesser names. We should get ready for an influx of talent in case other artists follow JK."
"You'll take him?" DongWon asked.
"Yeah, of course. Who wouldn't?" I asked. "This is a huge opportunity."
"Should I take this up to Director Shin?" the assistant asked nervously.
"No. I'm sure he already knows. Just get back to work and thanks for bringing us the video right away," I said.
"Well, that's that, then," DongWon said. "All that shit for months and now this. I feel like karma's finally doing her job."

"What is this?"
SeokJin, tipsy and giggling, held up a frilly pink apron that had a hole in the perfect spot to let his dick through. He pushed a finger through the hole and wiggled it.
"No, no, no," NamJoon said, well on his way to plastered. He grabbed the finger and gave it a shake. "If you were this small, there wouldn't have been a...a...another date. What date did we finally have sex? You made me wait so long!"
"What are you talking about?" Jin demanded. "What does it matter how big my dick is?"
"You know I like to-"
"Okay," I interrupted, glancing over at the party planners. They were definitely overwhelmed. By the looks of their neat outfits and the way they'd decorated for NamJoon and SeokJin's 'Two Bachelors' party, they were more used to planning sedate afternoon teas. They were obviously not prepared to wrangle the increasingly drunk hosts and guests.
"Why don't you guys open the next gift?" I suggested.
"That big one!" SeokJin declared. "Hand me that big one!"
NamJoon passed over a large gift and SeokJin made quick work of the wrapping paper to reveal a sex swing. Guests were whooping and cracking up, one of the party planners hid her eyes, and SeokJin crowed, "Yes! I've always wanted one of these!"
"That's from me!" HoSeok called out. "TaeHyung has two of them. I knew you'd love it."
"Hoooobi," SeokJin replied, quickly turning sappy. "This is why you're my best friend. You know me so well."
"Another gift. Do another gift," NamJoon said, shoving a gift bag at SeokJin. "Let's get this over with so we can dance. Someone slide me one of those appetizer trays."
He shoved canapes in his mouth and nodded with approval each time SeokJin pulled a lacy thong out of the bag. Some of the guests abandoned the unboxing show and began wandering over to the dancefloor. SeokJin leaned over and opened his mouth wide so that NamJoon could feed him a bite before he went back to presenting what must have been a month's supply of sexy underwear.
I glanced over at the party planners again. One of them was knocking back a shot of whiskey. It looked like things were officially going off their well scripted tracks and heading straight for chaos.
I gave a happy sigh and abandoned my post. I'd been standing next to the tables full of presents as the official gift manager. I was supposed to move packages within NamJoon's reach and arrange the unwrapped gifts back on the table. It must be some sort of shit women do at wedding showers. The sort of parties that were supposed to have the lovely arrangements of pink and white roses that dotted every surface and the intricately decorated miniature cupcakes that were being wolfed down by the dozen. The party planners had definitely gotten their wires crossed.
I went and sat on a couch next to JiMin. He looked at me warily and I gave him a reassuring smile. I hadn't had anything to drink, but the general atmosphere and the euphoric state that the two bachelors were in was making me feel content and relaxed.
"Don't worry," I said. "I know I'm breaking the rules a little. I think it'll be okay, but if you're not okay with it, I can go do something else."
"No, I'd like you to sit with me," he said, a little smile on his lips.
I nodded and settled more comfortably into the cushions. "You're not drinking?"
"No," he shook his head. "It makes me feel too vulnerable."
I nodded in understanding, but quickly changed the topic. This wasn't a time for sad conversations. "What did you get them?"
He gave a wry grin. "Just a vase. I couldn't get them anything, you know, sexual."
I laughed. "Me either. I do not want to think about my friends' sex life. I got them a painting when I was in Italy. I know NamJoon will love it."
"Hey, Min YoonGi."
I turned to the side to see HoSeok standing next to me. TaeHyung was right behind him, chin resting on HoSeok's shoulder, staring at me with languid eyes. I smiled at them. "What's up?"
"Third Crush is going to be on my show in a few days, why don't you come on, too? You're a hot guest since you put Choi MinSoo in her place and Jeon JungKook is signing with you," he said.
"Is that right? You'd think shows would be afraid of me," I replied.
"Not the ones that didn't attack you in the first place. Come on the show. All the ladies that are making memes about you being 'smooth' and calling you the Hidden Tiger will put my ratings through the roof." When he said tiger, TaeHyung made a growling sound.
I sighed. It really wasn't my thing but it would give more exposure to the boys and I was starting to feel the pull of friendship ties. With NamJoon marrying SeokJin it was like I was getting HoSeok - and apparently TaeHyung, at least for a while - as a package deal. "I'll think about it."
"Don't take too long," he said. "Give me time to get word out that you're joining us, so we get as many viewers as possible."
"Can we go dance, now?" TaeHyung whined, wrapping his arms around HoSeok's waist from behind and tugging at him. "I want to dance."
"Okay, Baby," HoSeok said and looked at JiMin. "Come and dance with us, JiMin."
"Yeah, I will later," JiMin said and TaeHyung pulled HoSeok away.
"How do you feel about me going on Hobi's show?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?" He raised his eyebrows curiously.
"I wouldn't want you to feel like I was taking over or taking attention away from you," I explained. He was scheduled to be on the show with Third Crush.
"No. I'd never think like that. It would be so nice if you were there. I'd be less nervous and you could do some of the talking," he said. "I know the boys are feeling really anxious and it would make them feel better, too."
"I'll do it, then," I said, smiling over at him. It felt so nice, a momentary slip into the past, maybe not free and easy, but comfortable and warm. It was too good. I felt the earth gently tipping towards him, catching in his gravity, pulling me in.
There was a loud whoop and I looked over to see HoSeok standing on a table, spinning his jacket above his head and shouting. "If you want it, you're gonna have to pay for it, bitches!"
One of the party planners put down the crepe paper decoration she was fiddling with as cheers rang out from the guests and stalked out of the room. I sighed. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Being near JiMin was too hard, too tempting, too beautiful, filling me with a glowing happiness that was far too powerful.
"This is dangerous," I admitted, standing up. "Come on. Let's go dance, but no touching."
If I touched him, I knew I wouldn't be able to let him go.

This time we met at a sidewalk cafe and he was there before me, afternoon sun glowing in his hair. I paused a moment to watch him, the familiar lines of his face, the way he held himself. I let the pain and the need and the loneliness wash over me for just a few moments, feeling how deep they went, how they permeated everything, before I pushed them away, straightening my spine, gathering my strength, ready to take another step on the path back to him.
"Here," I said after I'd sat down, passing him a little gift bag, watching as he reached for it with a soft look of surprise. "I got it for you when I was in Italy."
"I...thank you. Can I open it now?"
"Yeah," I said. "Please."
He took the small box from the bag and stared at the bracelet lying on the velvet cushion for long seconds before he cleared his throat nervously and said, "I think this might be too much."
"No. It isn't," I said, feeling my muscles tense a little as my body fought the confession of secrets, the sharing of my innermost thoughts. But I was doing this. It hurt and it was hard and it was overwhelming, but I was not giving up. I would make the changes that I needed to make.
"I had a lot of time to think when I was on vacation. Too much time, really. I've been struggling a lot with all the mistakes I made in the past. All the things I didn't do, the things I was aware of and neglected and the things I didn't even take the time to think about." He was listening to me with wide eyes, quietly taking in my every word. "I should have spoiled you more. I should have given you more of myself. I should have told you that I love you a thousand times. Things could have been different if I wasn't such a mess."
"No," he said. "This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself. You made me so happy and you're right. I do have so many things that I need to work on. I just keep finding more and more all the time."
He picked up the box and handed it across the table to me. "Here. Put it on me. I want you to put it on me."
I picked up the bracelet and opened the clasp, reaching to put it on his outstretched wrist. It was an argentium silver chain, delicate but strong, tiny diamonds set in some of the links, almost hidden in their curves, subtle and seductive.
But his wrist was so much more alluring, skin smooth and warm, flawless, wrist turning into his upturned palm and fingers. I wanted to take his hand, pull him towards me, never let go. Drive away the suffocating pain of his absence, flee from the hollow tick-tock seconds of my life without him, but my fingers closed the clasp of their own accord and he was taking his wrist back, using his hand to lift his water glass.
"Tell me about your trip," he said after he'd taken a sip.
I wanted you there. Every moment of every day. You were a ghost that followed me. I wanted to constantly turn to you, see your reactions, share everything. All of it was dulled by your absence, beauty tinged with the pain of missing you. Nothing is as it should be without you.
"It was good. It was rough," I said. "I'm not used to spending that much time alone, or, well, spending that much time without working. I work and I go home and I sleep. With so much time, there was so much time to think and regret and...you know, I never really do anything for myself. I just work. I'm not used to having free time to spend on me. Doing things by myself, trying to enjoy something just for the sake of enjoying it was really hard. If I'm not working, if I'm not doing it for someone else, it feels empty and it feels like a waste."
"YoonGi-sshi," he said. "That isn't right. You deserve so much happiness. You work so hard, you should enjoy your free time."
"Yeah, I tried," I said with a shrug, making light of how difficult it was, how wrong it felt to do something for myself, so utterly useless that it was nearly impossible to find the motivation to move forward. "I did what I could and I really enjoyed the roasting course. I'm glad I did it. I learned a lot and I guess it's becoming a hobby, roasting my own coffee and trying different brewing techniques."
He nodded, pursing his lips as if he was holding back comments and then said, "But you were working, too. Right?"
"Yeah. I produced a collab between Hi-Mic from UltraPop Green and an italian rapper named Tommaso. It was good. Everything went really smoothly." I held my breath for a moment before I continued, knowing that what I was going to say would probably upset him. "I figured something else out. I think one of the reasons I decided to focus solely on Third Crush was to bury myself even more. NamJoon sometimes says that I'm hiding from life when I only focus on work and he's right. I'm just making things smaller, making my world smaller, blocking out more people and things."
"What does that mean?" he asked, distress in his voice. "You're going to stop working with the boys?"
I shook my head. "No, not exactly and I'm not making any changes right away, but I am going to start slowly pulling back. I'll take my time and start leaving more things to other staff members. I'm never going to abandon Third Crush completely, but I've got to turn back and head in the other direction. Jeon JungKook has signed with us and I'll be working with him. As time goes on, I'll go back to working with other artists and groups."
"That means I'll be seeing even less of you." The sadness in his voice tugging at my bones, urging me to touch him, comfort him.
"Let's not think about it like that, okay? We're working our way back together. What's important is we're going in the right direction." I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. It was all feeling so big, so heavy. I needed a break. "Now, tell me what you've been doing. Last time we talked you were trying to figure out how you were going to decorate your apartment."
"Ah, yeah. I did a lot of research," he said. "I decided on shabby chic because it's pretty, but it's not perfect. W-WonSeok always wanted everything to be perfect, so it feels really nice to have some distressed furniture and this relaxed feel to everything. It makes me feel free."
"I'm glad," I said. "I'm glad you found something that makes you feel happy on a deeper level."
He nodded, eyes growing reflective, a little darker. "I've been trying to deal with thoughts of WonSeok, like so many. It is hard to be alone. It gives me way too much time to think. There are so many bad memories that just pop up all the time. Sometimes it feels like I can't even open my eyes without seeing something that reminds me of something that happened."
"I'm so sorry that you have to go through that," I said, my words feeling meager, too small, completely insignificant.
"It's getting better. I've been talking to my therapist about it a lot and...he's a part of my past. I can't escape that or erase it. It makes sense that my mind will remember things, that I'll be comparing now with then. At least for a while. I just need to fill my life with new things, new memories. It's all just going to take time."
"I'm proud of you," I said. "I really am so proud of you. As hard as it is for me, I know it must be so much harder for you. I think about that all the time and I wish that I could be there for you. I hope you remember, especially when things are at their darkest, that I am constantly supporting you from afar."
"I know," he said, his voice holding a quiet strength. "And I'm supporting you. And I'm missing you all the time. We'll get through this, right? We'll get through this and we'll be together and everything will be different after that."
I nodded, too emotional to speak. I wanted that. I understood exactly what he was saying. Our future together shone bright like a star. There was just so much darkness to get through to reach it.