Hey guys, it's Lola! This is a SUPER LONG chapter! I usually try to keep chapters for this fic around 2000-2900 words, but for this one it did not happen that way. My old Composition Professor once told me that the length of something doesn't matter more than the content. In this case, the content called for an extremely long chapter.
So, I am a huge fan of this Harry Potter cosplay group called TheMischiefManagers, they are from Sweden and they are just amazing human beings. One of their videos called The Egg Roulette caught my eye and I knew the perfect place to put it into this fic. So, I got into contact with them and asked for permission and they said yes!
So, the following part about The Egg Roulette game that Sirius and James are getting everyone to play has come from their video. It's their idea and I am so appreciative that they are allowing me to use it. Hopefully, ff will let me put the link to the video and their channel here, but if not just look up TheMischiefManagers on Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and/or Facebook and they should pop up! They have lots of great content and great information about LGBTQ+ and Harry Potter!
Thanks so much for reading, reviewing and everything in between! This chapter is dedicated to TheMischiefManagers for letting me use their video! -Lola
The Egg Roulette: www. youtube watch/?v=zVNsUNrh5ws&t=312s (just take out the spaces)
TheMischiefManagers: www. youtube channel/UCqP-5kU6UOaYpGzyotxYKaA
*For a more in depth of what belongs to who, check the end of the chapter. :)*
Remus Lupin was tired of eating muggle pizza. Money wasn't the problem in this case, since the Potters kept sending more to James. The problem was the fact the flavor was repetitive. Also, James and Sirius had taken to putting the most disgusting toppings they can find on their pizzas to make them interesting. Remus made the mistake of not getting his own pizza one night and Peter had already consumed the good pizza, so he had to share with James and Sirius. He wasn't even sure what was even in the pizza, but it made him very sick. Of course, they felt kind of bad for it later, but that would not take away the pain that Remus suffered from retching all night.
He now was standing in the kitchen and peering over a pot full of water on the stove. He had magicked flames under it to get it to boil. He had seen this Muggle recipe for hard boiled eggs and it looked simple enough. He liked the eggs back at Hogwarts and even for someone who was terrible at potions, he should be able to hard boil an egg. At least, that's what he told himself.
He was going to take the opportunity to try cooking while everyone else was out and working on the motorcycle in the shed. They had only been working on it for a couple of days, but he thought they were making some progress. Remus had managed to start to piece together the information that Peter had given him about his mother's spell, it wasn't much to go on but it made for a fun research project. Sirius had gotten the exhaust to spew little sparks and was now trying to figure out how to make those sparks into flames while James was still knocking his wand against the light. Remus forgot what he was doing that for, but it kept them busy and the house quiet so he wasn't going to complain.
Remus and Peter had gone to the muggle store earlier today, for mostly chocolate and these muggle crackers they all liked. But….the egg section had caught Remus' eye. He had been reading about all the ways muggles cooked eggs that morning and he had been inspired by something called Deviled Eggs. He was going to work up to making the real thing by starting with the hard boiled egg part. He had never cooked before, unless you called melting chocolate for strawberries with a heating spell cooking.
He heard a small popping and sloshing sound which caused him to turn his attention to the water in the pot. He had read that boiling water would bubble everywhere just like a potion. He had always been dreadful at getting his cauldron to the right temperature, but the bubbles were jumping at a nice speed. He couldn't help but smirk at it, and his friends said he shouldn't be allowed to cook!
Remus looked over to his left where the white carton of eggs was sitting. He carefully opened the carton and grabbed seven eggs. He would start with seven of them and then do the other six just to make sure he knew what he was doing. He unceremoniously dumped the eggs into the throngs of the boiling water and watched. How long was he supposed to cook them again? He had left the Muggle book in the other room, well, he was pretty sure it would be fine. Muggles said that eggs were one of the easiest things to make. Even HE couldn't mess it up, right?
After what felt like an hour but was really ten minutes, Remus took the tongs and stuck them into the boiling water. He grabbed the first egg and picked it up. It didn't look any different from any of the other eggs in the carton. He shrugged as he looked around for a place to put them...what did he do with a hot hard boiled egg? He looked around and then put it in the carton. It couldn't be too confusing, you would be able to feel which one was hot and which one wasn't.
Remus followed suit with the other eggs until they were all back in the carton. He looked down at them...they looked the same. Uh oh, well, he definitely couldn't cook the rest of the eggs now because he didn't want to accidentally put a hard boiled egg back in the pot and cause it to explode. He had James and Sirius to make things explode, he didn't need to help ruin their kitchen and endure the wrath of Lily Evans when she came home.
He swallowed nervously as he stopped the heat that was keeping the water boiling and he casted a cooling charm on the eggs and on the water. If he was going to eat his eggs then he didn't want them to burn his mouth. He flicked his wand and put the pot in the sink before turning back to his eggs. He smiled as he approached the carton, it smelt like egg but cooked egg. That was good, right?
He picked one up, but it felt cold. He picked another one and it felt cold. His eyes widened, what did he do? He shook the eggs but they all sounded the same. He just cooked seven eggs and six of them were still raw...how was he supposed to know the difference now?!
"Moony," a voice called from behind him. A frazzled Remus turned around to see a smirking Sirius Black, his hands dark with oil. "Are you okay mate….you look sort of stressed?"
Remus scowled in the direction of his friend as he held up an egg. "I tried to cook, but it didn't exactly go right. I mixed up my eggs…" He trailed off as he shook the egg in desperation. He would never hear the end of it if he couldn't find his own hard boiled eggs.
"Merlin's beard, Moony!" Sirius said as he came over behind Remus to grab one of the eggs. "Are you sure you even cooked them? They still look like regular eggs to me."
Remus looked back at Sirius who was shaking the egg as well. "I boiled seven of them! But...then they got mixed back up with the six regular ones. So...I don't exactly know which is which." Remus said, his cheeks colored slightly red in embarrassment.
Sirius frowned and then it was as if an idea formed inside of his head. A mischievous grin appeared on the other Marauder's face. "I know how we can find out!" Sirius grinned and began to walk off.
"What do you mean Pads?" Moony called after him, but he didn't leave the kitchen. He had to figure out his egg situation and he was pretty sure he did not want to find out what Sirius' solution was.
A minute or two later, Sirius came back into the kitchen with James and Peter behind him. "I know how we are going to fix your little egg problem, Moony!" Sirius said cheerfully as he moved around Remus to wash his hands.
"Yeah?" Remus asked skeptically, as he looked at the three of his friends. "And how's that?"
"Well," James butted in with a mischievous look on his face. "Padfoot and I in our third year made this pact that if the opportunity ever presented itself we would play Egg Roulette. And now, the opportunity has presented itself!" James said with a grin.
"What in Merlin's name is Egg Roulette? And do I even want to know how or why you made that pact?" Remus asked, looking at the three boys.
He did not like the sound of the name, especially since he knew all about the famed Muggle game of Russian Roulette. He had been in a store with James the other day and on one of the Muggle's televisions there was a scene in a movie talking about Russian Roulette. Now, Remus didn't think eggs could kill them but he also wouldn't put anything past James and Sirius.
"You probably don't want to know about the events leading up to the pact. The game is basically where you have a bunch of hard boiled eggs and a few raw ones. You crack the eggs on your head and if you're lucky, you just get a hard boiled egg and it's no mess. If you're unlucky, you get eggs all over your head. The first one to crack two raw eggs on their head loses." James said cheerfully as he went over and picked the carton up from where it was lying next to the stove and moved it to the table.
"That's…" Remus didn't even have words to explain his feelings. "The stupidest idea, I have ever heard!"
Remus had worked hard on those eggs! He had gotten them to eat not for them to be smashed on his friend's heads! He would be all for it if it was for a prank and he hadn't been the one to make the eggs. That took effort! He had to endure going to the store with Peter who liked to touch everything on the shelves, he had to read about the whole cooking procedure, and then he actually had to execute the cooking. He really didn't want his hard work to go down the drain now!
Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus from his place near him. "Oh come on, Moony! We've been so low key this last week or so. Besides the incident with the Muggle club and James falling off of the motorcycle we've done nothing...come on...it'll be fun! It's not like you can eat those eggs now anyway not that they're all mixed up. So, why not get some good use out of them?" Sirius argued as he grinned down at his friend.
Remus looked over to Peter who was watching the scene with his watery blue eyes and a small smile on his face. He didn't particularly look thrilled to be involved in this situation but he didn't particularly look scared either. "And you?" Remus addressed the most skittish Marauder. "What do you think of this?"
Peter looked over at Remus and grinned sheepishly. "Well...it could be fun?" Peter suggested as he looked back at James for approval. "It's like Sirius said, it's not like you can eat them now anyway."
"So that settles it, then!" James announced with a grin as he walked past the three of them and over to the cupboard that had bowls and plates. "We're doing it!"
Well, it was three to one and this was a democracy so it looked like Remus was doing it. It's not like egg is bad for you...he did eat it didn't he? The egg hadn't killed him yet so what was the harm in cracking it on his head. And, maybe he could get a little payback on the rest of them for the rotten pizza he had to eat. He had been thinking of ways to get them back, but now he had a way. If only he could rig the game...hmm...well it seemed in this case he would have to just get lucky.
The four of them gathered around the table and looked at the carton of eggs. Remus turned to James since he seemed to be in charge of the operation. "Who goes first?"
James shrugged before gesturing to Moony. "You're on the end, so why don't you go first?" James suggested to him.
Great, Remus knew he should have made Peter stand on the other side of him, but he also didn't want to be next to James. If James smashed the egg on his head and it went everywhere it would be more likely to hit him. Who he should have stood beside was Sirius, he was around his height and his hair was longer so more area for the egg to go. At least, that's what Remus thought about in theory.
He sighed as he reached into the carton and grabbed a random egg. He held it up to his nose and smelt it, it smelt like egg. There were no indications that it was hard boiled or otherwise. He sighed as he looked at his friends who were watching him intently. "What if it makes a mess?" He offered weakly in a last ditch effort to maybe get out of it.
"We're wizards, mate! We can clean it!" James said reaching into his pocket and producing his wand for effect.
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Remus asked the three other boys.
"Come on, Moony! You always win the game anyway, so what do you have to lose?" Sirius said with his eyes glittering in mischief and excitement as they often did when a prank was about to commence.
Remus used to love that look on Sirius' face. It was so authentically Sirius Black that it was as if no one else could ever have the same expression. Now though, he was dreading it. He had a feeling that this was one game he wasn't going to win. Most games were not luck, they were logic and skill. This was neither, this was just random bits of idiocy.
"Alright, guess it's egg time then." Remus said with a nervous smile. Why was he friends with these people again?
Remus took a deep breath as the other Marauders were urging him to go ahead and get it over with. He glanced down at the egg before smashing it on the side of his head with an unsatisfying crack. He felt the terrible feeling of egg juice running down the side of his head and in his hands was a cracked egg that was running down his hands.
"You were supposed to crack it on the top of your head, not the side!" James said as he called Moony's attention to where he was demonstrating the motion.
"Yeah," Sirius jumped in with a grin. "You're not supposed to do it like that!" Sirius said as Peter demonstrated Remus' motion by hitting the middle of his forehead particularly hard and he nearly stumbled back into the table.
"I did it wrong?! Well, I'm sorry, I just cracked a raw egg against my head!" Remus replied with a smile as he looked down as the egg began to drip onto the hardwood floor.
He couldn't bring himself to be mad about the whole correction or now even the activity. He had to admit, it was kind of funny. Especially the part when Peter hit himself very hard in the forehead and nearly fell back into the table. Remus wrinkled his nose at James as he handed him the bowl to put the remainders of his egg in. Now he was going to smell like eggs for the rest of the day, great.
"My turn," Peter spoke up from next to Remus.
Remus put the bowl back on the table as he watched Peter run his hands over the eggs. The blonde haired boy looked nervous as if it was a great idea in theory but now that he was actually having to get down to it he was not so sure. Well, Remus just cracked a raw egg against his head so he did not feel bad for Peter's predicament at this time.
"Do it!" Sirius said, giving Peter a little push into the table. "Hurry up!" Sirius urged their friend as he gave him another push.
"Do I have to?" Peter asked looking over to James and Sirius. "Can't someone just play for me?" He asked desperately as he glanced back over at Remus.
"Don't be such a girl, Wormy." Sirius responded, saving Remus the pleasure of growling at their friend who helped this stupid game get put into motion in the first place. "Just do it!"
Peter sighed as he grabbed an egg and looked at it closely. He turned it over in his hands before sucking in a deep breath. Remus watched anxiously, he really hoped all of the raw eggs would go to James and Sirius as punishment but as long as they weren't cracking on Remus he guessed he was fine with that. He already smelt like an egg now, he didn't want to smell anymore like an egg and they had five more raw eggs to go!
Peter took the egg and quickly smashed it against his head. To Remus' dissatisfaction, Peter hit the egg so hard against his head that some of it flew off and into Remus' hair. He made a noise as he watched Peter quickly throw the egg shells into the bowl with a grin.
"That wasn't so bad!" Peter remarked as he put a hand against his hair and showed the liquid of the egg to the other Marauders.
"You got some on me!" Remus complained, causing the others to laugh.
They were laughing now, but if James and Sirius did not get any egg on them then it would not look good for them. He would make it his mission to make them suffer as much as he had suffered through this stupid idea of theirs.
"The floor is going to be ruined!" Sirius remarked with laughter still evident in his voice. He turned to the other three. "Lily is going to kill us, it'll be awesome!"
Luckily, Lily wasn't due home for another week or so. James had received a letter or two giving him updates, but he didn't have an exact timeline. It wasn't so much that they needed one, but it would be nice to know when their friend was coming home. Not only to see her but also to make sure they wouldn't have to endure the wrath of Lilly Evans because they turned the Muggle house upside down. He hoped he had enough time to figure out how to get the eggs off of everywhere.
"Padfoot, I think you got your definition of awesome confused with atrocious again." Remus said with a roll of his eyes.
"Lilly will be fine! I'll smooth things over!" James said, giving the other Marauder's a wink as he reached into the carton. "My turn!"
"Ow!" James cried out as he smashed the egg against his head with force. "Shit! That hurt!" James complained as he revealed that he had gotten a hard boiled egg.
Of course James Potter, literally the luckiest man not to have died from the number of hexes casted on him by Lilly Evans, got a hard boiled egg. It was as if the fates thought James was such a lovable git that they were going to protect him. Remus would be appalled if only he and Peter got raw eggs on them. But, it would be just their luck. Nobody knew how to be as unlucky as Peter and Remus did.
Remus couldn't help but join in with the others as they laughed as James separated the two parts of the egg. He grinned when he saw a nice looking inside to the hard boiled egg. "See! I told you three I could cook!" He beamed at them.
"Beginner's luck I would say, right, Padfoot?" James said, turning to his best friend who was looking at that carton.
"I would have to agree, Prongs. You're brilliant at nearly everything Moony, just not potions or anything related to it." Sirius said as he gave his friend a sympathetic smile.
"That sounds like a challenge...I guess I will have to prove you wrong then." Remus hummed with a smirk on his face.
"I guess you will," Sirius winked at Remus causing him to look away so he could hide the blush that was surely forming on his cheeks.
Remus couldn't describe the feeling, but there was something about the way Sirius Black winked at you that made you feel all warm inside. Remus kind of understood why all of the girls giggled when Sirius even looked in their direction. Even though Remus Lupin surely was not a giggler he still had the butterflies that fluttered in his chest when Sirius looked at him in a special way. It made him feel as if there was something there even though there was surely nothing. It was something he had to remind himself of over and over throughout the years, because Sirius was straight and Remus was not.
Remus watched as Sirius grabbed an egg and threw it a couple of feet into the air before catching it. "Well, here goes nothing." The dark haired Marauder remarked, and without anything further he smashed the egg on top of his head.
When the egg cracked and spewed it's contents all over Sirius' hair, James ducked behind Peter in hopes of avoiding the spray much to Remus' delight. He doubled over in laughter at Padfoot's face that was an expression of pain and disgust at the fact the egg was running down both sides of his head and all over his shirt. Ah, who knew that revenge could be so eggscellent!
"This might be worse than the Dungbomb!" Sirius remarked as he threw the remainder of the egg into the bowl. "Why did we ever make this pact, James?! Look at my hair!"
"It wasn't our finest hour, was it, Sirius?" James laughed in response.
The game went on for a little while longer until they were down to three eggs. They all had a raw egg cracked on them, but no one had gotten two eggs. Remus sighed as he looked down at the three eggs that were left, this did not look good. If he did the math, that meant two of these eggs were raw and one wasn't. That meant he had about a 66.6 % chance of getting a raw egg and only about a 33.3 % chance of getting the one hard boiled egg. Remus wasn't exactly pleased with those odds, especially since he did seem to be rather unlucky when the game or task was luck related. This was all luck related.
Remus grabbed an egg with a deep breath and cracked it over his head. He sighed in relief, it was hard boiled. For some reason, the fates had decided to have mercy on poor Remus Lupin. It only took them eighteen years to realize that he was not a bad person, he was just a good person that bad things had happened to and they could stop punishing him now.
"Uh oh…" Peter said as he looked at the two eggs and then looked to James. "Remus...what chance do I have to get a hard boiled egg?"
Remus smiled sheepishly at Peter. "Well Pete, there were seven hard boiled eggs and six raw ones. We have only cracked four of the raw ones. So, I would say you have no chance." Remus said honestly as he patted the blonde haired boy on the back.
"It's going down my back!" James squealed as he jumped and moved his shoulders to try to get the egg off of him. "Get it off of me!" He groaned as he knocked into Sirius causing him to laugh.
"Hey James?" Peter asked the jumping Marauder. "Can we maybe just play rock, paper, scissors for who has to crack the egg on their head? They're both raw…" Peter trailed off as he looked down at the eggs with an ashen face.
James groaned before nodding his head. "Yeah, sure, I guess to make it fair."
Sirius and Remus watched together as the two boys played rock, paper, scissors to decide who would have to crack the egg over their head. Now, if they were smart, they would have just moved on and have no one crack the egg, but Remus wasn't going to spoil the chance for Prongs to get another dose of what he deserved. There were two offenses and he had only gotten one egg. In Remus' mind, one egg equals one offense so he deserved another egg. So did Sirius, but beggars can't be choosers when it came to something like this.
"Oh man! Why did I pick paper?! You always pick scissors, you git!" James complained when Peter won the pre-game.
"Well Prongs, I guess you know what that means." Sirius grinned as he reached over and held out an egg to James.
James sighed as he hung his head in defeat. His face was covered in egg and so was his shirt. He looked like a really pitiful sight, and Remus almost felt bad for him. Almost, being the key word. He was sure James would do something terrible or annoying in the next few days and he would not regret not stopping him from smashing an egg on his head.
All of a sudden, Remus heard a noise. He paused in his focus on the game as he focused on the strange sound. It almost sounded like the front door...but it couldn't be the front door. All of them were in here and no one knew where their home was except for Dumbledore. James' parents always sent an owl with money to the edge of town just to be safe. So, unless they had been discovered.
"What is it, Remus?" Sirius asked as he picked up on the fact Remus had stopped paying attention to James trying to talk himself into smashing the egg on his head. "What do you hear?"
Remus turned and looked at the three other boys who had now picked up on the fact that something was going on. "I thought I may have heard the front door, but I don't know." He said as he inched forward. He reached for his wand which was in his back pocket. "We need to make sure."
The four boys inched forward with their wands out. James and Sirius had determined expressions on their faces while Peter's was white as a sheet and his hands were trembling. Remus knew Peter was afraid of a lot of things, but he usually wasn't this scared when they were all together. He shook his head, he would check in on Pete later. Right now, they had to make sure they were not under attack.
"What in the world happened to you lot?" A feminine voice called from behind them.
The four Marauders turned to see a red headed girl standing in the middle of the staircase. She wore a tired expression on her face and Muggle clothes on her body. Her red hair was styled up and out of her way and her hands were on her hips. Remus' face broke out into a grin, he knew that look from anywhere.
"Lily!" James yelled, and like an overexcited puppy began scrambling up the stairs with his wand in one hand and the egg in the other.
Before he could wrap his arms around her or get into her space, she apperated down to a few feet away from the Marauders near the edge of the foyer. "Oh no, you don't James Potter!" She said in her Head Girl voice that the four of them had grown used to hearing/ignoring. "I love you, but I am not hugging or kissing or doing anything of the sort with you until you get whatever that is off of you!" Lily demanded with a cross of her arms.
"Oh come on, Evans." Sirius spoke up from his place besides the two other Marauders. "It's just a little egg."
"Why in the world do you four have eggs on your heads? Really, you would think you were still first years at Hogwarts, not graduates." Lily said in disapproval but her smile gave away that she was happy to see them even still.
How did they explain this to her? And, she was here early. The whole plan was to wipe away the evidence of their recent activities before she got here. She didn't seem that angry though. She may sound angry, but her body language gave away that she was just happy to see them. No one knew what she had been doing, not even James, but Remus could tell it had taken a toll on her. She looked a lot like he did after a full moon, and that wasn't a good thing.
"We were just experimenting!" Sirius replied with a grin. "You haven't ever wanted to experiment with eggs on your head, Evans? I hear they're good for your hair."
"I seriously don't know how you four survive without me. Those three," Lily gestured to Sirius, Peter, and James as she addressed Remus. "I expect things like this from. But you, Remus? How in the world did they talk you into this?"
"Well….bad luck I guess?" Remus replied with a sheepish grin.
"I just don't understand why you would ever do this!" The red headed girl shook her head in exhaustion.
Her face seemed hollow and the dark marks under her eyes seemed more pronounced now. Remus could tell that whatever mission Dumbledore had her on, it wasn't for the faint of heart. It made him feel even worse about the unknown mission that he would have to go on soon. Even though he was a little different from the others since he had a good idea of what it was going to be, it didn't make his stomach hurt any less.
Remus glanced up at James to see his reaction to her arrival. He had gone quiet while Lily was interrogating them about the egg on their heads. James had a smile on his face, but James Potter was not good at keeping secrets or hiding his emotions. Remus could tell that he noticed the same things Remus noticed about Lilly's appearance. It wasn't that she looked unhealthy, she just looked weighed down. You could feel it in her demeanor.
And, as if James thought of the best way to fix it, he cleared his throat loudly calling everyone's attention to his place on the stairs. "Well, Lily Evans," James said as he brought the egg close to the top of his head. He then smashed it on top of his head. "You crack me up, that's why!"
Notes:
J.K Rowling and her publishing company own these characters. It is unfortunate that she does, because she's not a very good person but it is what it is.
Thanks again for reading! Thanks again to TheMischiefManagers who were gracious enough to let me use their video!
What parts belongs to me (Lola):
The beginning with Remus cooking.
Some of the dialogue during The Egg Roulette scene (check below for specifics of what does not belong to me).
The ending of The Egg Roulette Challenge with James and Peter.
The ending with Lily with a few exceptions (check below for specifics of what does not belong to me).
What parts belong to TheMischiefManagers:
The Egg Roulette Challenge that starred the Marauders.
The things that happened during the challenge for the most part with a couple of exceptions that are references to earlier chapters of this fic.
The following quotes: "egg time", "you were supposed to crack the egg on top of your head, not the side of your head", "yeah...you're not supposed to do it like that" with Peter acting out the action, "I did it wrong?! Well, I'm sorry, I just cracked an egg against my head.", "you got some on me", "Ow! Shit!", "It's going down my back!", "They're good for the hair.", "Lily Evans, you crack me up!"
The order in which they each cracked the eggs.