Tali's farewell letters to her loved ones:

Mom,

I know that I disappointed you by giving up my soul, my life for John to come back. I know, even without having been able to see and talk to you over these long years, that you tried to make peace with my choice. Having my body taken over by another demon was just one more strike against me.

I lost the years that I'd planned on spending with you and dad, with John and the boys, with my friends and family simply because I made a deal with a demon. I paid such a high price, but as I look at my little girl sleeping soundly and peacefully in her bassinet beside me, maybe it wasn't high enough.

I wish that I could watch her grow. I wish that I could see her when she says her first word. I wonder what it'll be since she won't have her momma or her daddy with her? I wish I could stay, and if I had ANOTHER soul- sorry that was a bad attempt at gallows humor. I wish that I didn't have to go, Mom, but I do.

Love Abi like you loved me. Show her how important our family is, but also remind her that darkness can show up dressed like your greatest desires. I know mine did.

I love you, Mom. You made my childhood magical and my adulthood bearable. I wish for so much, but the one thing I wish I had was more time. Keep my memory alive for her, please. And, once the pain is a dull ache, tell her about John. The good parts, the strength and his loyalty. The fact that he took her momma's breath away, and gave me her.

Don't cry, or at least don't cry too much for me, Mom. Know that I won't be alone, and I won't be in pain. I just won't be here.

Tali

Daddy,

I know that saying goodbye to me isn't something you're ready for, and I have to confess I'm not ready either. I didn't get to do it by plan or design. I didn't get to reintroduce you and John, this time as members of my family. And I know, even mentioning him now in this letter that Rowena will give you when I'm gone has made your fists tighten on the paper, but please, don't.

Don't rage about him. Don't make threats or promises against him. Remember that the tiny little girl I'm leaving behind is part of him. For her, if not for me, remember that he is her father. Even if he isn't present, don't make her doubt herself or her place in your heart based on how you feel about him.

I loved him, Daddy. Too much, you'd say, seeing how this is ending, but isn't that how the best kinds of love are supposed to be? All consuming and irrational? Even though I'll be dying for him, know that I'd happily live for HER.

Waking up pregnant, after years of being silent, was the strangest part of this entire situation, but somewhere along the way, I fell completely in thrall with Abi. She'll be the best of me, left behind when I move on. And I leave her in the very best hands I can, yours. And Mom's.

Climb trees with her, show her how much I loved the treehouse you built me. Remind her of me, and my childhood, not just with pictures, but with stories. Tell her about the dangers the world holds, but also about the magic.

I love you so much, Dad, and I wish that I could say goodbye in person, but I know what's coming. And that knowledge forces my hand and my pen on paper is all I can give you. Even in Hell, the memories of my life before will keep me company, and you and Mom can keep me alive for Abi.

Tali

Castiel,

If someone had told me ten years ago that one day I'd be writing a farewell letter to an angel, I would have called security on them.

I will never forget that you were the first person (being?) I saw when I came back to myself. That it was YOU who braced me for what was coming. That you stood beside me against the very family that you act as a guardian angel for. This is why I have to say goodbye and thank you.

I know that you care deeply for Dean, and I am very happy that he has you. He's a lot like his dad, and that impulsiveness can be dangerous. As can his loyalty, and his urge to protect his family. Make him see, if you can, that staying AWAY from Abi is the only way this works. That his job as big brother and protector is best served with Sam. That she's safe and perfect where she is. He'll fight it. He is a Winchester after all.

Check in on her, Cas? Make sure that she's content, even with my parents doting on her and the love she'll be surrounded in. Leaving her is far more difficult than leaving anyone else, isn't that funny? I had no real hand in her conception, but she holds me tight in her tiny fist.
Thank you, for trying to take away the agony I know you'll try to relieve. Thank you for standing by me, for helping me through my labor, and for being a friend.

I wish- It doesn't matter. Goodbye, Castiel, Angel of the Lord.

Tali

John and Mary-

There, that was the hard part, I guess. I know that my decision to keep our daughter from you will seem petty and cruel. I honestly don't care. I found it rather cruel that for almost nine full years you didn't realize you were keeping company with my body, but not ME.

I tried, and Rowena tried, to convince myself that the thing that was inside of me during the last nine years had beguiled you to not notice that it wasn't me. I want so badly to believe it. That John Winchester would KNOW, if not for some dark magic clouding his mind. I hope it's true. I do, but I'm afraid it isn't and you really truly didn't know me at all.

Seeing you return, Mary, made my choice that much simpler. John now has the life the djinn gave him hope for, and the two of you can move forward as though nothing but a hiccup of separation had happened. My daughter needs to not bear witness to it.

You see, she's mine. Even if my mental presence wasn't required for her creation, my body was, and that made it far too easy to walk away. I had a piece, a reminder, that for a tiny time I was loved by a man I loved so deeply that I'd give my life for. And that's enough.

You'll receive this when I'm gone. Just a notice that I've departed. Nothing more, nothing less. And you'll continue on your day as though you read it in the paper. An acquaintance that you fondly recall, in the deep reaches of your mind, but nothing to lose sleep over.

I did love you, John Winchester, but I've found peace. I don't regret the deal I made, I only regret the lack of time I've had to prepare to pay my debt. And if nothing else, I'm thankful for that.

I wish the two of you a long happy life together. You've both been given a second chance. Make the most of it.

Dr. Tali Sullivan

Sam,

You saw me, I know you did, but I can't figure out why you didn't raise the alarm after your soul returned.

It doesn't matter. Not really. In the end, I was going to die regardless. Maybe not having the memories of nine years with your dad and Dean and you makes it easier to leave.

I wish, for oh so many things, but mostly that you understand why Abi can't know the three of you. She needs to have a fresh life, away from the burden that being a Winchester can cause. I know you'll want to argue that having your mother back would change it, but I do hope you understand why that doesn't make it more reasonable for me.

Time isn't infinite, Sam, so make sure you spend it wisely. And make sure that you stay far away from the crossroads, because the temptation is always far greater than the consequences.

Tali

Dean-

I hope you take heart in knowing that there's only one farewell I'll be writing after yours. That this goodbye is far harder than the ones that came before, and that only your baby sister comes after you.

I woke up, after years of nothing, to find myself in a strange place, with a guest housed inside of me. I wonder, if I'd been aware and myself for those nine years, would I have ever had my doubts about my choice of life partner?

I told John, and you, that I only allowed us to get close because of how much you reminded me of him. I'm not as sure about that anymore. And before you brush it off as being hurt from how easily he was led to believe that I was me, even when I wasn't me, know that it isn't the case. I kissed you, Dean Winchester. I touched you. And, if I hadn't allowed my grief to overwhelm me, I wonder if you wouldn't have had to see our future through a djinn's magic?

I know that you're going to fight Cas' insistence that you NOT try to know and protect your baby sister, but don't. Please? She needs to be free, just as I will be soon enough, and you need to take care of yourself for once. She's not your responsibility, and she won't be. You have spent your entire life taking care of Sam, and I won't add her to your burden.

I love you, Dean, perhaps not in the same all consuming way I loved him, but I do love you. And maybe, if I hadn't wanted him so badly, this wouldn't have happened. Rookie mistake, choosing emotion over logic. I won't do that again.

Tali

My darling Abigail-

By the time you can read this for yourself, or even understand the words as they're read to you, I will be just a photograph that your grandma and grandpa point to while telling you stories about me. And that cuts deeper than any pain that I'll ever feel or have felt.

I wish that I could watch you grow. I want to be there when you take your first step and say your first word. I want to hear you when you read your first story out loud. And I want to know what passion will make you want to learn as much about as I did mine.

The greatest sorrow I have is that you won't know me, or your daddy. You'll have questions, you are my child after all, but please know that I didn't make the choice lightly. You were created with love, misguided perhaps, but love was there. Your daddy is a great hunter, a man filled with passion and strength, and a man that has his own life to live.

I love you, Abigail Alice. And my biggest regret is that I won't get to tell you that myself.

Mommy