Chapter 18

After he was taken away from from the scene in the fairest wheel, Levi woke up in a secluded part of the amusement park while Hange patched him up. She reported to him that they already caught the people responsible for the shooting and they are currently being tortured by his underlings. His underlings made fun of them because both suspect were wearing costumes. One is wearing a ghost costume and the other is a zombie.

Hange said that she had seen them before, she said that they work for Fairies - she just said that because she totally forgot about the name. Erwin is already working on it.

"Levi, I knew where they took Eren and his hospital room. If you want, we can go there." Petra tries to brighten the situation.

Levi was silent, head down in shame. "I just want to go home."

"But Levi-"

"- Petra, please. I... just want to go home." Levi hugged himself and went to the car.

Levi buried himself more on the covers of his bed. His clothes were thrown on the hamper, Titan came to him but cat was spooked at Levi's heavy scent of distress.

How can he be so arrogant?! There's high chances that it was the same Mr. Ghost and Mr. Zombie that he met on the horror house. Plus, Mr. Ghost is the one who suggested the ride. Levi fucked up. He fucked up with his first date. He got Eren hurt. It was all his fault!

Levi grabbed a fist full of hair, pulling them painfully. His left hand reached for the patch on his head and threw it aimlessly on the floor. He continued pulling his hair, making himself whine. He deserver more pain than Eren.

He already called Eren when the Alpha text him and before he went to bed. Levi apologized to him which only made the brunet on the line worried and anxious. Levi didn't let him talk, he told Eren to forget about him and ended the call.

Eren was shot because of him, it was all his fault and still he don't have the guts to tell the truth. Maybe it is ment to be. Eren will forget eventually, and move on. Still, thinking about it hurts Levi more than anything.

Letting go of his own hair Levi curled himself into a ball. Shutting himself from the world. If only he could hide forever under his covers of shame, he will but he got people depending on him. He gently and slowly got out bed because Titan's loud meows. He did have a Mr. Ghost and a Mr. Zombie to kill on the torture room but that still won't mend the damage they made.

The next morning, Levi did his normal routine in Reckon while occasionally blinking in order to keep the unshed tears from falling. He fucked up again, because of his anger he killed Mr. Ghost and Mr. Zombie, now he doesn't know who sent them. But no one in Reckon said a word about it.

Three days later, everything went back to the way it was. Except that the boss is more angry and demanding than before. Levi scolded Erwin for not giving him his paperwork, everyone thinks his depress and offered him to take a rest but it only made Levi's blood boil.

Eren kept on contacting everyday. Levi never dares to read the messages, he knew well that guilt is up ahead when he does that. He broke and threw his phone.

He shuts out everyone including Erwin, Petra and Hange. His underlings are worried too but to Levi they are far more easy to handle, they all ready moved on and act like nothing serious happened. The only stick in the mud on Levi's current life is Hange. That crazy shit never gave up.

"Levi, we need to talk."

Levi didn't looked up to her over his pile of paperwork. For the pass three days he busied himself with work which is a good distraction but sometimes he found himself staring on his paper in daze. And he hates it when it happened.

"Levi, you can't just buried yourself in paperwork like this. It's not healthy." Hange continued.

'Says the healthy person.' Levi bites back internally. He can't argue with Hange right now it will only makes matters worst. It's better to just kept quite since his very good at it from the very beginning. When his uncle took him.

"You can't just leave the poor guy just like that, Eren deserved an explanation. And I know you knew that."

Silence, except for the flipping of papers.

"I recovered your phone and I saw Eren's messages. Yes, he is still keeping in touch in every hour. His latest messages says he wants to talk to you in person."

"..."

"Levi! Eren kept thinking that it was all his fault! Aren't you gonna do something?!"

"..."

"You can silence Erwin and Petra but you can't do the same thing to me!"

"..."

"If your not doing anything about it, I'm telling Eren!"

Levi finally snapped, "Fine! Then do it!" Levi click his tongue afterwards. This is one of Hange's plan.

Hange smiled at him before settling herself on the rocking chair. "But before that, I have to make sure my best friend is alright." Hange gave one of her pleasant smile when Levi finally looking at her. "I know you are hurting inside, it's okay, you don't need to hide it, everyone understands."

"..."

"All of us won't look lesser of you if you... cry. It will help you feel better and think more stuff in a different angle."

Cry? Levi Ackerman? Ridicules! Levi promised himself a long time ago that he will never cry again even after what Kenny had done to him. He learns how to suck it up for the sake of everyone.

Levi stands up from his chair and faced Hange with his usual emotionless face. "I think your talking to different person."

With that said he walk passed Hange and proceed to his room. Thankfully she didn't try to stopped him or follow him because that is what Levi feared the most. He knows that Eren needs to know but he doesn't have the courage to face him after what happened, not just the fairest wheel incident but before that, when Eren proposed to him. It was not a wedding proposal that he always hope for but the feeling is the same and there is no way that Levi doesn't want to let go yet. Levi loved it to the point that he is willing to love and eloped with the said Alpha. Wait, love? That might be what he is feeling but isn't also love that said that: 'if you love someone you have to set them free'? And Levi can't do that he can't set Eren free from all the lies and cover ups he made.

He want Eren to looked at him like he always do when they are together and surely the truth can ruin it. Hange was right though, there are a lot of fish in the ocean but Levi only wanted Eren. Now he realized what he wants, this little thing might turn into an obsession. A bad one.

When he reached his room he literally felt nothing like was numb or something. Levi doesn't felt sad or angry, simply nothing. He's not even sure anymore of his attachment to Eren, is it admiration? Love? Or an obsession? He can't think anymore, dismissing the thought, he proceed to change his clothes. He made dinner silently which is very deafening but the raven didn't care.

Levi prepared Titan's food but seeing the cat didn't came rushing to his call, the Omega searched for him. And there he saw Titan lying lifeless on the carpet.

Levi felt nothing. No. He felt worst than nothing.