Chapter Sixteen: Points of Inflection.
By the end of her experience on the beginner's or bunny slope, Bellatrix had demonstrated a reasonable command of skiing. The experience of having to teach her had certainly given several of the instructors grey hair, and nearly gotten one turned into a rabbit. Conversely, there had been several times initially that her reckless daring had let her find ways to exceed even the limits of that very safe slope, and she had needed to show off her own skill with Arresto Momentum to keep from splitting her head open on a tree at a high rate of speed.
The people at the kiddie slope were happy that she wasn't there, so that Delphini could fit in with the other children and parents would stop panicking. The teachers at the bunny slope were relieved when Bellatrix decided to hit some serious powder. Her raw will, when her madness leant her a manic focus, proved terrifying. For a fifty-one year old woman who had just started skiing, she was blowing through the slopes to the awe of some professionals.
Since the Nevis Range ski resort was far enough out that it was mostly only accessible by rail at this point, with the petrol rationing, the visitors were mostly staying a while. That meant as the days passed that most of the people became more comfortable with Bellatrix's presence. Ironically Bellatrix found out that Dolohov had previously gone skiing there, which made her smirk. He was always the least objectionable of her fellow Death Eaters.
The whole while she was supposedly enjoying herself, she was really rigidly projecting control over the situation to the outside world, and to herself. She wanted to act like this was normal, when she knew that it was anything but normal. Really, letting herself be baited by the muggles, when it was really all in her head, to prove that she was better at their muggle sport of skiing, had been an act of pure distraction. She was just trying to forget what she was contemplating doing.
And yet, when the week was over, Bellatrix and Delphini were still on the train to Hogsmeade Station, now that there was a regular service. Bellatrix had lived comfortably in denial while making her daughter happy. But each night they had returned to their luxurious suite, the finest in the lodge, and Bellatrix had put her daughter to bed.
With a strange and numbing kind of conviction, she had avoided thinking about it. She had avoided saying anything. Then she had carried on. It was dreamlike and Bellatrix was not at all sure how she had carried through with the visit to Hogwarts until the moment snapped to life when Delphini matter-of-factly asked her: "What's wrong, mum?"
The beautiful silver-blonde little lass who was her's. Delphini Black. She probably got her blonde hair from the same place Narcissa did.
And the girl most assuredly knew that something was the matter.
Bellatrix had a rather frozen expression on her face as they walked from Hogsmeade toward Hogwarts. She lightly squeezed her daughter's hand. "I'm just trying to keep you safe," was her answer, feeling a bit too automatic.
"What's so dangerous, mum? We were having fun…" Delphini pouted.
"...Well, we were. Family is safe," Bellatrix smiled, though she didn't really feel it was true, but at least it was an easier lie than most. "That's why mummy will protect you, deary. It was fun, and it was safe, but sometimes those muggles around you-that can not be safe." She kept her nose in a sneer to deter anyone passing by from questioning them, but in fact she just wanted to cuddle her daughter.
"So you're going to keep me safe, mum?"
"I'm a very good witch," Bellatrix answered with a kind of grand impertinence. "Everyone runs away from mum because of how good of a witch she is. They don't care to face her! And especially muggles."
Boasting aside, Hogwarts looked intact, but they were differences. There had to be differences. They had changed everything with their triumph, after all. Glaringly obvious, on the road to Hogsmeade, was the statue of Voldemort. It was supposed to celebrate his triumph, and in fact, there was a large pile of galleons at the foot, of Slytherin students seeking luck in examples or their love life or whatever other stupid thing they were worried about.
But Bellatrix remembered the debates, and she knew that the statue actually marked the place of death of Professor McGonagall. Her absolutely brilliant rearguard action had allowed so many of the students and others fighting against Voldemort to escape. What Voldemort, Bellatrix and the rest of the Death Eaters hadn't had occur to them had been that while the Hogwarts Express normally ran only for the beginning and end of the term and the breaks, in fact, it was just an enchanted engine and rake, and could be brought up to steam and run whenever it was needed, and the crew did this under McGonagall's instruction to evacuate the survivors of the lost battle from Hogsmeade Station while she held off Voldemort to allow them to escape.
Without that act, Bellatrix would not have had her encounter with the Mudblood, the Bloodtraitor, that damned Tonks, at Chernosvyat. She would have faced Koldovstoretsy only. They would not have told her that despite all of her efforts being perfect, she might fail her Lord anyway.
There would be no doubt in her heart. For a single step, Bellatrix paused, and brought a gloved hand to her chest as she looked around the snow, the ice, the white-covered trees. She remembered what it had been like under the man who, in teenager impertinence, she had called 'Dumble-fuck' back in the sixties, and how much more she had gotten away with as an older teenager when he had been on his extended leave of absence.
Now, of course, the school was being run by Dolores Umbridge as the Headmistress, and Bellatrix, to be honest, thought she was worse than Dumble-fuck. For all her lust over blood purity and professed love of the Dark Lord, Bellatrix was trying to imagine something more boring than being trapped in a school run by Pink Dolores.
Ahead, there were only Slytherin banners on the school as she approached. Exactly as her Lord had promised, it was now the only House. Her house. Somehow, Umbridge's house as well. Shouldn't the dumb bitch be a Hufflepuff or something? Bellatrix mused as they arrived at the castle. Unfortunately, she'd have to be social to get access to the library. And Umbridge would doubtless want to be very social indeed with Voldemort's right-hand woman. She was an inveterate social climber and in that sense, she had earned being a Slytherin.
"Mum, will I get to go someday?"
"Of course you will." Bellatrix paused. She couldn't really bring herself to lie to her daughter. "Well, you shall study magic somewhere grand and majestic and perfect," she said, her eloquence getting the better of her. It was also crushing honesty about what was going on at the moment.
Maybe nothing would be the same again.
"Madame Lestrange! Welcome to Hogwarts! It's wonderful to see you again!"
Umbridge's voice led to a twitch of a grimace on Bellatrix's face that made her daughter giggle, before she looked up. "Why, Headmistress," Bellatrix allowed with her own sickening sweetness. "It's so wonderful indeed to return to Hogwarts. Meet my daughter—Delphini Black."
Delphini looked up with wide eyes and carefully waved a hand toward Dolores.
"Oh, aren't you an absolutely adorable wonderful little pureblood snugglekins!" Dolores rushed forward and bent down with this maliciously honeyed smile on her face and grabbed Delphini's cheeks.
Bellatrix froze in a way her daughter recognised as ominous, but Dolores clearly didn't. Delphini started back at her with an ominous severity of her own, trying to imitate her mother.
Dolores managed to realise there was an issue, and rose to whisper to Bellatrix. "Is something a-matter?"
"Nothing is a-matter," Bellatrix answered with a voice dripping with ominous intent.
Dolores paused. "Is it true, that she's the Dark Lord's child, himself?"
"Yes," Bellatrix said impulsively. "You know that is why she is a very serious girl, Umbridge."
Dolores' eyes widened. "Ah, indeed. Come this way, please, please." She turned and scuttered forward toward the gargoyles and up and on to the Headmaster's Office. "Isn't it so wonderful to see only Slytherin banners all about now? The dissolution of the houses was a marvelous day, it seems so wonderfully long ago, like Hogwarts has always been an all-Slytherin, no-Mudblood school! And the students are so well-behaved! Exactly as I always suspected, it was the mudbloods leading the others astray, and now we are one big, happy family!"
Bellatrix could instantly tell from just a casual look at the students in their Slytherin robes that they utterly hated Dolores. She also knew, already, from Dolohov, that Dolores had been put in charge of Hogwarts precisely because she hated children, and so the Dark Lord had seen fit to force her to be around children, including the powerful pureblood Slytherin children of people who very much did not like the way that Umbridge ran Hogwarts.
In fact, Dolores wanted to do anything but the actual job she had been given, and thought she could be better at many jobs, such as leading the Wizengamot at denouncing and ordering the executions of enemies of the Dark Lord. She had never gotten the opportunity.
Bellatrix sympathised with the students. She was Toujours Pur, but life was also meant to be lived. The noxious Umbridge was making life hell for all the kids who just wanted to have fun. And to be honest, Bellatrix would sooner fuck a mudblood than spend a single day in Umbridge's Hogwarts. She was absolutely confident that if Umbridge had been in charge when she was a student, she would have made sure the bitch ate the killing curse somewhere deniable. At least Dumblefuck acknowledged the concept of 'fun'. He was just bad at it.
They arrived in Umbridge's office. It was carpeted floor to ceiling in sickening pink and her cat was there, or another one, or some former member of Dumbledore's Army forcibly transfigurated into a Persian Cat, Bellatrix wasn't sure and didn't really care, though Delphini found an excuse to play with the kitty, that seemed to be happy to be away from Umbridge for a moment.
Dolores of course insisted on getting out her tea set and serving Bellatrix Proper Tea Service complete with cucumber sandwiches. If Bellatrix had not been so intent on her objective, she might well have broken out a Cruciatus curse then and there. There was nothing wrong with Tea; but there was plenty wrong with sharing it with Dolores Umbridge.
"So what are you here for, Madame Lestrange?"
Black, Bellatrix mentally corrected. Maybe she should just go ahead and formally change her name back. If there was anything left of her husband, some starving muggle had baked it into his family's goulash in central Europe already. The thought brought a twisted grin to her lips.
Dolores had been off and rambling even before her question had been answered, about how wonderfully was preparing the new generation of Wizards to serve the Dark Lord. "Madame Lestrange? Madame Lestrange?"
Bellatrix jerked up. "I want access to the library. In particular, I want everything you have on the history of magic in the Transcaucasus."
"...Trans… ...caucasus? Is that like some muggle perversion?"
Bellatrix almost choked in awe at her ignorance, especially when the Army was in active combat there. How does she even remember how to breathe? I'd rather sit here and watch Dumblefuck diddle a boy or something. "No. It's the region of the world containing Armenia, Georgia and Azerbaijan."
"Oh, how lovely! I do recall us having a few volumes. You know, that ghastly Irma Pince is the only professor who survived and kept her position, and I am afraid I can't do very much against her, but I shall give you access, of course. Anything to remind her of her place."
Beautiful.
"Can I watch your daughter while you perform the research?"
I wouldn't let you watch a fly, let alone the most important thing in the world to me. Bellatrix managed not to voice the words. She also paused for a moment. Wasn't Voldemort the most important thing in the world to her? But Delphini was part of Voldemort, his living creation, her daughter…
She'll be fine. Voldemort's child. Dolores isn't that much of a syphilitic moron.
"Since she will attend the school soon, I will take her on a tour! Doubtless, as the Heir of Slytherin, she will be the Head Girl someday…!" Umbridge continued to squawk.
"Don't tell anyone. I want her to be able to establish herself when she comes, students attending now will still be here when she's a firstie," Bellatrix answered smoothly, and rose. "But yes, you may."
"I am honoured to care for the Heir of Slytherin…!"
"Don't go, mum," Delphini looked up pleading.
"It won't be long, and we'll get some pastries in Hogsmeade this evening, I promise," Bellatrix smiled confidently until Delphini's expression brightened.
"Oh, you shouldn't spoil her, she is the Dark Lord's heir…!"
"...But she does deserve her chocolate just like any girl," Bellatrix said with a particularly malicious smile that Umbridge completely missed the point of. "And I will reward her, just as I serve the Dark Lord. Take good care of her." With a lazy wave, she took the slip that Umbridge had written out, and used it to head into the library.
Irma Pince had become sullen and withdrawn since the Battle of Hogwarts, having sided against Voldemort, but not definitely enough to lose her head, unlike the other Professors. Now she maintained the libraries in the methodical and grim execution of a duty which she had managed to be sullen and withdrawn about for decades. Whereas she might have confronted a student, she just offered a nod of acknowledgement when Bellatrix arrived at the restricted stacks. "Lestrange."
"Thank you, Madame Pince," Bellatrix acknowledged, and breezed past her. She was the last ring of a fading bell, the last memory of a Hogwarts before the Dark Lord. Bellatrix had no time for her. Though, for that matter, she was sure that Pince would make a better Headmistress than Umbridge. Hmm.
Referencing her way through the stacks—she knew the sorting system well, she had earned the title of 'Brightest Witch of Her Age'-she managed to find the section she was looking for after some time which passed quickly for her, but was certainly hours of distraction. Unsurprisingly , with its grandiose titles, it harked to another age in the Wizarding world, when there was peace, and exploring of the whole world, under the great peace of the Statute of Secrecy, was available to everyone . Ararat & Damawand: Magical Forces in the Mythology of Tigranid Armenia and the Achaemenid Empire.
Then, her heart skipped a beat. As she found the spot in the old tome, it made it absolutely clear that Tonks, the Naryshkina woman and the mudblood had been absolutely right. The Golden Apple Tree just transmuted the power of the Water of Life. It had no intrinsic properties of its own. There was no immortality to be in the power of the Rabdos of Koschei the Deathless. You just needed to know the right place to look for the information, and it wasn't in Russian history, but in Persian history, and you had to put the two together: Connect Anahit to Anahita, connect Ararat to Koschei. Without their warnings she could have never done it. Voldemort certainly hadn't.
It left many questions, the how and the why, and how it would be possible to gain the immortality, or at least the youth, that she herself sought. But she could see them all starting to come together now. And as they came together, the bottom also dropped out from her stomach into something like a bottomless, infinite pit.
She desperately wanted anything other than to be here, confronted with this choice. Oh, there was an easy step to make: Take the book to Voldemort and tell him the truth, all of it. Explain to him how he needed to seize Ararat. Offer to lead the Army there herself. Her crack troops could smash through Georgia and take it, she was sure.
Bellatrix put the book away and quietly left the Hogwarts stacks. She had only been there about two hours. It had been enough time, and her stomach roiled with discomfort at ancient memories of her time as a student.
She returned to the Headmaster's office with everything uncertain.
"Oh, Madame Lestrange! Welcome back – did you find what you wanted, so soon?" Umbridge looked delighted.
Delphini sat in front of the children's tea set with an absolutely composed but miserable expression and her hair thoroughly mussed up. Even now she didn't dare move or turn to stare at her mother and for a moment Bellatrix wondered if that dumb pink bitch had ensorcelled her daughter.
"I did," Bellatrix answered, and reached down to gently brush her daughter's shoulder as her muscles began to tense threateningly.
Delphini, though, leapt up and gave her a hug.
Bellatrix smiled. "I'll be going now," she added.
"Oh, it's such a shame! You could stay for High Tea?"
"I'm afraid not. But I will remember to mention you to Our Lord, the next chance we get."
"Thank you, Madame Lestrange. Thank you. You know I am the most loyal."
If you are, Our Lord is fucked. "Of course, Miss Umbridge. Have a good day." She started to turn.
"I must say, your daughter is quiet, Madame Lestrange. You should get her a cat! And she would really look better in some pink, than those poor grey and black robes…"
"I think Delphini gets to dress the way she wants to dress," Bellatrix answered, and held her daughter's hand closer.
"Why, I never..!"
But then they left Umbridge behind, and soon enough, Hogwarts as well, heading back toward the Black Lake.
"I was scared you weren't done," Delphini confided. "So I stayed very still so she wouldn't be mean to me when you left me again."
"Ohh, deary," Bellatrix sighed and pulled her daughter into a hug again. "She didn't do anything bad, did she?"
"She kept trying to braid my hair, and.."
"I'm going to kill that dumb bitch," Bellatrix snarled.
"Mum, you're not supposed to talk that way!"
"You're right, but sometimes I do it anyway," Bellatrix grinned, as if she were sharing a secret, and sharing a secret, they indeed were.
Her daughter hugged her leg harder. "It's alright, mum. It wasn't thaat bad. But promise me you'll never leave again?" Little eyes as wide as saucers nonetheless looked up. "I don't like being away from you and I don't want to go back to the Augurey or worse to someone with all that pink like Umbridge. Please, mum?"
When it hit, it was the simple request of her daughter. When it hit, it was the ringing of a hammer against crystal. Looking down into Black Lake, named long ago, supposedly after a distant ancestor, she felt her memories from school parade back to her. She calculated the risks of Voldemort to her… Her heart ached at the prospect of being away from her daughter.
No, if anyone was going to live forever it was going to be her and her wonderful child. It was a silent thundercrack in the mind.
"I promise, deary. We'll never be apart again," she said, and picked her up to hug her and hold her close. "But you have to promise me that you will do exactly as I say, and stay close and obey me, in the next week, no matter how uncomfortable it is. If you do, deary, we'll have an adventure together. Do. You. Understand?"
"I'm Ready, Mum!" Delphini answered with defiant insistence. Her eyes shown with confidence, too. "We'll have our adventure."
Trembling and yet hugging her daughter close, confidently, despite it, Bellatrix began to lay out the rest of her plan in her head. She would have to move fast and far. It would be inadequate to simply run away. It would be inadequate to simply give up. To secure her daughter and herself, she needed to be decisive, she needed to be grand, she needed to be dramatic. Caught in a trance, she could barely focus on what was around her, other than the warmth of her little daughter's hug. And yet, despite that, in a fragmented psyche, she calculated, she began to put the pieces together. It was by love and not ambition that she, without even really realising it until it was already done, had crossed the Rubicon.
The Swordsmen were in Power, but she, also, was a Swordswoman now. It was time to use cold steel for what mattered, for though the hour was late, she still had a chance. She hugged her daughter closer.
References:
1. Umbridge is noted as hating children, but she also enthusiastically went into her "work" at Hogwarts.
2. Pince was supposedly on the side of the DA, but was never seen fighting at the Battle of Hogwarts.
3. The Rubicon, a river in Italy, of course signifies an absolutely irrevocable decision.