AN: Another long chapter for you all. Enjoy!

Chapter 19: Bella

Friday, October 26

Malibu, California

11 Weeks

Telling Edward I loved him had been by far the scariest thing I'd ever done. I had literally been held at gunpoint by pirates once, and somehow, it couldn't even compare to the stress of being that vulnerable with him.

I knew Edward loved me, he told me often enough that I had started to believe him, but it had been so hard to convince myself that his love was different than Jake's had been, or even my mom's. Edward had proved to me that I could fuck up and he wouldn't walk away from me. Fuck, he'd been working with me to work past that shit. It was something Renée and Jake had never done.

When we'd woken up this morning, Edward and I had decided on a photo to use on his Instagram. I had considered turning my own account private, knowing he'd tag me, but after checking my account to make sure there wasn't anything too personal on there—it was literally an account I used solely for travel and work—I decided to leave it open. I knew people would track me down at some point, a few of them had already based on the twelve new followers I'd gained this morning.

Picking a photo had been difficult, merely for the fact that we hadn't taken many together at all. There were a couple that I had snapped of him when he'd been bleary eyed one morning, and some that he'd taken of me immediately after, but we agreed those photos were too intimate to share.

Finally, we'd settled on a photo Edward had snapped of me the other day. It was a profile shot of me, as we'd been looking out at the sea. It was intimate, without being obvious, and we both agreed that the fact that it didn't show my whole face was better. The fewer pictures that were out there for people to identify me by, the better.

Edward wouldn't show me what he was planning on writing, not until he'd sent it out. I was slightly anxious to see what it was that he would write to his millions of fans.

Tanya was on her way down to LA today, and I'd talked to her this morning before her flight about the photo. She'd suggested I post my own photo on my account to acknowledge with Edward what we were doing. I knew exactly the photo I wanted to post, and I refused to show Edward.

We sat in bed that morning, both of us concentrated on our phones as we tried to announce to the world that we had become a we.

"This is strange," I said after a moment, looking up at him. Edward hummed and glanced at me.

"What's that?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Posting photos on social media. It's like, who cares? Why should we be anyone's business?"

Edward nodded, grimacing slightly. "I know baby, it's awkward. But it's part of my world, and Chelsea is right. If we keep silent it will get worse and worse and much more invasive. We can throw them a bone, let it sit, and then keep living our lives privately."

I frowned, looking back at my phone. I was excited about my post, if only because I knew it would make Edward laugh.

Edward tapped his phone and looked up at me. "Alright, it's out there."

Immediately my phone chimed to tell me I'd been tagged in a post. I ignored the notification, posting my own photo.

When it was up, I snickered once before opening my notifications. Anxiously, I pulled up the photo Edward had posted. The photo was exactly as expected, and I took a deep breath, looking at the caption.

At first I thought you were a constellation. I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation: you're as beautiful as endless, you're the universe I'm helpless in.

I swallowed deeply, looking up at Edward. He was watching me, looking calm. "This," I paused. Swallowed, Blinked. I looked up at him, dropping my phone on the bed and crawled over to him. "I love you," I whispered, winding my arms around his neck. He held me to him, kissing me deeply.

"I love you so much," he whispered against my lips, pulling away slightly. I reached up to brush tears away from my eyes.

"I definitely missed the tone on these posts," I said, laughing weakly. Edward frowned.

"Why, what did you post?" He pulled up his phone while I was still in his lap. I bit my lip. He wouldn't find it right away because I hadn't tagged him in it. I saw him pull up my account and a moment later he was laughing so hard, I had to grip his shoulders to stay on his lap.

"This is fucking perfect," he howled. I smirked, glancing at his phone. There on his screen was a picture I'd take of his ass while he had been working out. Underneath was my caption:

What an ass.

I'd even thrown in a smirking emoji at the end. Edward dropped his phone on the bed, reaching up to kiss me deeply. "Fuck, you are perfect. I love you."

I smiled against his lips.

"I love your ass." I murmured. Edward laughed, kissing me deeply again. I groaned, leaning into him. Edward pulled away from me a little and I frowned, pouting at him.

"Hey," he said softly. "Let's go to your friend's wedding."

I pulled away from him, wide eyed. "What?"

Edward smiled, reaching up to cup my face. "I was being absolutely irrational. I have the time, and I haven't been to Melbourne before. Kate was right, I have a security team I can call on if need be, and I want to travel with you."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, his eyes searching my face. "I was an ass about it before, and I'm sorry about that. I want to see the world with you. I want you to show me what you see."

I crushed myself to him, and he groaned, weaving his hands in my hair to kiss me deeper.

"Fuck," I gasped, pulling away from him and dragging in a harsh breath. "You're sure?" I was breathing heavily, and I saw his eyes drop down to my chest a moment. He nodded, dragging his eyes back up to my face.

"Show me your world, Bella."

I groaned, leaning down to kiss him again. "Fuck, I love you," I said, holding his face in my hands. He grinned, joy lighting up his eyes.

"I love you too."

"Do we have time before everyone descends on us this morning?" I groaned, grinding into him. Edward pulled away from me enough to glance at the clock.

"No. Chelsea will be here soon, and Tanya should be landing about now."

I sighed, kissing his jaw.

"Fine, but let's come back to this later," I said softly. Edward chuckled.

"Abso-fucking-lutely."

I giggled, crawling off him.

I scooped up my phone, noticing I had a bunch of Instagram notifications already. I ignored them, going to my texts instead.

I'm on my way now.

I sighed at the text from Tanya, looking at Edward. "Tanya's on her way."

He nodded. "We should get dressed."

I huffed, but nodded, following him out of bed. I hopped in the shower, while Edward brushed his teeth.

"Hey, we have Dr. Pierce today," Edward called to me when he was done with his teeth. I glanced at him through the glass of the shower and nodded, rubbing my stomach subconsciously.

"Yeah, that's right." We were supposed to be meeting with Tanya and Chelsea this morning to discuss strategies or what the hell ever, and then after we were headed to Dr. Pierce's again to hear the Pip's heartbeat for the first time. I was anxious about that, though Edward couldn't wait.

I grabbed the luffa, trying to chase the thoughts away of what my day held. Instead, my thoughts turned to the night before. I'd fucked a lot of guys over the years, but I'd never made love before Edward. I'd never been with a partner that treated me so tenderly. With everyone I'd been with, the focus had been fun, wild sex. While Edward and I certainly had our fair share of that, he'd also been teaching me so much about intimacy.

I watched Edward start to shave through the glass of the shower, and I let out a little breath.

If life was simple and easy, we'd be able to keep figuring things out together without the world poking its nose into everything. I frowned over my thoughts, reaching up to scrub shampoo into my hair. I supposed, that was the point Edward had tried to make to me. His life wasn't simple and easy, and this was part of the cost of being with him.

I truly didn't care what people thought about me; I knew the people who mattered knew the truth about me and that was enough. I didn't know how I was supposed to go around and change the perception the world had about me. I hated that it even mattered.

I finished in the shower, moving automatically through my routine. Halfway through, Edward left to get dressed, and when I stepped out of the shower, he popped his head back in the bathroom. "I think Chelsea just pulled up. I'm going up to let her in," he said nodding toward the stairs. I nodded, fixing the towel around my hair.

"Alright, I'll be up in a minute."

Edward left, leaving me to get ready. I quickly brushed my teeth before crossing the room to the closet.

I had just pulled on a bra and underwear, when the bedroom door opened.

"Babe, you decent?"

I looked up at the sound of Tanya's voice. "Hey, I'm in the closet."

She appeared in the door, and it was amazing how immediate my relief was when I saw her.

"Hey babe," she said dropping her purse. I ran to her, pulling her into a tight hug.

"Damn, T. I missed you so much," I said, squeezing my eyes shut. She pulled away from me and smiled.

"Let me see you, mama," she said, spinning me. I grimaced a little but turned for her. Tanya lit up. "Look at your cute little belly," she said, reaching out to pat my stomach. I moved out of her reach and she laughed. "Honestly, babe. The way you were talking about it, I thought you'd be showing a lot more. You barely look like you had a full lunch," she said shaking her head. I sighed.

"It's enough," I grumbled. Tanya smirked.

"Get dressed, mama. We gotta chat with the big wigs upstairs." She settled on a low ottoman couch Edward had tucked in the closet. I nodded, turning to the closet and pulling out a pair of leggings.

"How was your flight?"

Tanya flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Fine." She shook her head. "I want to know how you're doing."

I glanced at her. "I'm," I paused, looking through my shirts. I only had a handful of them at Edward's, and most of them were tight and made me feel self-conscious now. I sighed, moving over to where Edward had his t-shirts hanging, and yanked one down. I pulled it over my head and looked back at Tanya. "I'm okay," I said finally. "A little overwhelmed, a little self-conscious, but generally okay."

Tanya frowned, one eyebrow arching. "Self-conscious?" she asked. I pointed to my stomach as I pulled the shirt straight. She nodded. "Overwhelmed I get. Becoming someone people recognize overnight isn't easy," she said softly. I shook my head.

"No, it's not even that." I huffed. "I told Edward I loved him last night."

I looked at Tanya anxiously, but to my surprise, her face was void of her typically wicked smirk. Instead, she'd softened, almost to a point where I couldn't recognize her. She got up off the ottoman, coming over to wind me in a tight hug.

"Babe, that is so incredible. I'm so proud of you," she said squeezing me. I blinked, unexpected tears in my eyes. Tanya pulled away from me, holding me at arm's length. "Obviously he took it well or you'd have probably split faster than he could blink."

I snorted, reaching up to wipe at my eyes. "Yeah, of course he took it well. It feels like he takes everything well."

Tanya hummed. "I doubt that," she said nodding sagely. I frowned at her and she waved me off. "Okay, tell me more. What else has happened since we talked yesterday?"

I grabbed a pair of leggings, yanking them on before speaking. "Well, per your and Chelsea's request, we went official on social media." I rolled my eyes as Tanya nodded. She yanked her phone out of her purse as I pulled out a pair of socks.

Tanya sighed at her phone, and I looked at her. "That boy loves you so much," she said shaking her head, glancing at me. I nodded mutely. She looked back at her phone and a moment later she snorted.

"What an ass indeed!" she howled. I laughed, slipping my socks on.

"I didn't know he was going to get all sappy. I felt like I probably missed the mark with my post, but he loved it."

Tanya laughed, shaking her head. "Of course, he did," she paused, staring at her phone. "Damn, that is an ass." She took a screen shot of the post and I laughed at her. She grinned at me, winking.

"We also agreed to define our relationship yesterday," I said coming to sit by her. She looked up at me in surprise. "I told him I wanted to stay clear of terms like boyfriend and girlfriend. They feel so juvenile and not really big enough to describe what we're doing." I sat sideways on the ottoman next to her and she nodded, turning to face me. "So, we're partners and yeah, I guess I'm committed now."

Tanya snickered. "I know you're trying to be lighthearted and cavalier about it, but I am really happy for you." She reached out to me, squeezing my hand. "You've made such huge steps in like, almost no time. How are you handling it all?"

I sighed. "I'm scared some days, and talking about the," I paused and waved around my stomach. "Still makes me a little queasy, but Edward is patient and we just talk a little bit every day." I ran a hand through my hair. "I told you we've been seeing his therapist," I said glancing at her. She grinned and nodded, looking proud. "A couple days ago we had this breakthrough. I yelled at him. I didn't hold back, and he finally heard me. We were both doing shit that was hurting the other and since then, I don't know. It's like we can finally hear each other." I sighed. Tanya smiled.

"Bella Swan look at the grown up you've become," she snickered. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Better be careful, I think it's contagious."

Tanya barked out a laugh, turning so she could wrap her arms around me. "Babe, seriously, I'm so happy for you. You deserve to be happy, and I'm so thrilled that you and Edward have committed to working through your shit together." She squeezed me and I smiled.

"If you had told me a few months ago this is where I'd be now, I would have died laughing at you." I said shaking my head. Tanya snorted.

"You and me both," she said grinning. She glanced around the closet and looked back at me. "I mean it Bella. You've done some truly remarkable things, and let's just take a moment to appreciate that we are in the closet of one of Hollywood's biggest A-list stars right now," she said leaning into me. I laughed. "But all that aside, nothing you've ever done, nothing you've ever overcome has impressed me more than what you're doing right now. You're taking control of your life, and that shit is scary, but you're doing it and I'm so proud of you."

I felt tears sting my eyes, and I sighed, slapping at my cheeks. "Bitch, you're gonna make me ugly cry."

She snickered and patted my cheek. "I'm serious babe. I'm so, so happy for you."

I smiled at her, leaning forward and pulling her into another fierce hug. "Thank you, T. I don't think I would have made it this far without you in my life."

Tanya laughed, kissing my cheek. "I know, you need me."

I snickered, pulling back from her.

"Come on, mama. Let's go find that beefcake partner of yours."

…

I'd seen Tanya in quite a few intense business situations before. Her playful, flirtatious demeanor went away, leaving behind a shrewd, sharp businesswoman even the most experienced businessmen thought twice about screwing over. I had a feeling that had anyone but Chelsea been sitting down with us, that's the Tanya we would have seen today. But Chelsea was so sweet that as soon as she and Tanya shook hands, they were chatting and giggling like old friends. It was a relief, knowing that we'd avoided some sort of clash of the titans this morning.

We all sat around the dining room table, Edward and I beside each other while Chelsea and Tanya faced each other on opposite ends. Both women had their laptops out and occasionally typed a quick note or email as we talked.

"Look, I get what you're saying about satisfying the public, but Bella's been explicitly clear to me about keeping her privacy," Tanya said leaning forward. Chelsea frowned.

"I'm worried that if we don't sit for interviews of some sort, the press will get invasive."

Tanya frowned. "Aren't there laws to protect their privacy? I mean, for fucks sake, how is any of this legal?"

Chelsea sighed. "Of course, there are laws, but by the time the prosecution is through with everything, it's a slap on the wrist and meanwhile the damage has been done."

Tanya's mouth pursed.

"I want to protect everyone's privacy as much as possible, but if we stay silent and ignore the press, we are potentially leaving ourselves open to other people filling in the blanks for us."

Tanya rolled her shoulders, leaning back from the table a little. I looked at Edward who was strangely quiet.

"The public will believe what they want about Bella whether we do an interview or not," Tanya said shaking her head. "I have a connection with a few fluff outlets. I say we feed them enough information to get a positively spun fluff piece out there, and that's it."

Chelsea sighed. "I don't think it'll be enough. It would be different if Bella was an established person in Hollywood, but she's come out of virtually nowhere and people want to know how."

Tanya sighed, shaking her head.

I reached up, scratching my cheek as I mulled over the options. There were too many variables, and both Tanya and Chelsea were making good points.

"What's the worst thing that can happen if we don't do any interviews?" I asked Chelsea. She looked at me, glancing at Edward.

"Edward declined to publicly comment on a previous girlfriend when her name got out. Paparazzi ended up stalking and harassing her until there wasn't a single part of her life that was private anymore. It drove her out of the state."

I frowned, looking at Edward. He winced, his brow furrowing heavily. Had that been what happened to Emily, his ex?

"Look, I get that the media can be shit, but we aren't just dealing with protecting Bella right now," Tanya said, pulling my attention to her. I looked at her. "You've got your Pip to protect. The longer we can keep things under wraps, the better. You two don't need the hassle of the world talking about you and putting you under a microscope like that. Not right now."

Chelsea shook her head. "That's why we need to get a head of this thing," she argued. "They are going to figure out about the baby and things will get worse. We have to do some preventative damage control."

I frowned, leaning back in my chair. There wasn't any solution that sounded perfect. I looked at Edward. He was frowning down at his hands.

"Has there been any feedback about our Instagram posts?" I asked, looking at Chelsea. She nodded, her lips pulling into a bright smile.

"It's only been a few hours, but there has been a tidal wave of responses. My team is sending me updates every fifteen minutes, but generally speaking, people are curious. We are getting positive feedback from your message, Edward, lots of swooning over that and Ryan O'Neal from Sleeping At Last reached out to positively respond about you using his lyrics." She grinned and Edward smiled softly. "Overall though, people are desperate to know more about you," she said, glancing at me. At that moment, her phone buzzed, and she looked at it. "Bella, your accounts have jumped up by several thousand followers in the last hour."

I blinked, stunned. I looked at Tanya who was nodding. "I don't have the team that Chelsea does, but I believe it," she said looking at me. I sighed and looked at Edward. Why wouldn't he say anything.

"Alright, we need a few minutes to talk." I said standing and pulling on his arm. He looked up at me, surprised. I yanked on him until he stood, and I looked between Chelsea and Tanya. "Play nice. We'll be back in five minutes."

I pulled Edward out through the kitchen and onto the terrace. When we were outside, I turned to him. "Talk to me."

Edward let out a long breath. "I don't know what to think," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, fuck. I don't know."

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest. "If you could do anything in this situation, what would you do, regardless of consequences?"

Edward looked at me. "Baby, I want to tell every fucking person in this world how amazing you are and how much you mean to me. But I also want everyone to keep their noses out of our business and keep you all to myself."

I crossed my arms over my chest, drumming my fingers on my forearm thoughtfully. "Okay, so let's not do an interview yet. If shit gets really bad, we'll do one, but for now, we'll promise Chelsea and Tanya to stay slightly more active on social media and hope it's enough to satiate the public."

Edward let out a long breath. "That's fine on my end, but people will want to know more and more about you. They're going to be desperate for info on you."

I bit my lip. "Then I'll get better at posting on social media. I'll give myself more of an internet presence. Chelsea and Tanya can help me with that. We can give them what they want without giving them all that much."

Edward let out a long breath. "I feel like I'm asking too much of you." He shook his head miserably. I huffed.

"I told you, I'm in this and I'm willing to do whatever I have to. But babe, you can't check out on me, alright? I need you with me in this."

He looked up at me, his shoulders sloping a little. "Fuck, you're right. I'm sorry."

I moved to him, hugging him tightly around the waist. "It's going to be okay, babe. We'll get through this together," I said into his chest. He let out a heavy breath, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.

"I love you, baby." I smiled and kissed his chest.

"I love you too. Let's get back in there."

Edward nodded, letting me go. We walked back in the house and Chelsea and Tanya were still sitting, though they were both on their phones now.

"Alright, we made a decision," I said looking at them. Both women looked up at us.

"We're going to decline interviews for now," Edward said, looking at Chelsea. She frowned in protest, but he shook his head and kept talking. "We'll throw more out on social media, and Bella has offered to build more of a presence on there to help, but unless shit gets really bad, we're going to keep our private lives as private as possible."

Tanya nodded and Chelsea sighed. "Okay, if that's really what you want to do, we'll try it this way," she said softly. "I hope you're ready to keep up with any backlash," she said, looking at Tanya.

Tanya rolled her shoulders. "They can't throw anything at me that I can't handle." She said confidently. Chelsea smiled.

"Okay, well I'll keep fielding questions. Bella, I need to know how much information to give out on you."

I looked to Tanya. "Tanya knows my limits. Run everything by her. I trust her."

Tanya smiled at me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chelsea nod.

"Alright."

I looked between them, biting my lip. "I know this isn't easy, and I can't believe one relationship could need so much managing, but I want you both to know I'm," I paused, looking at Edward. "We're really grateful. Thank you for going through all this shit to protect us."

Chelsea stood, letting out a tight breath before smiling. "Please, Edward has been nothing but fluffy easy-going publicity since nearly the beginning. I hate to say that I'm a little relieved he's finally thrown a challenge at me," she said winking. Edward sorted, shaking his head and Chelsea laughed. "I'm going to do my best to make sure we all make it through this. I've got a strong team, Jane is working around the clock on the other end of things, and with Tanya's help, I think we'll be able to really move past this."

She turned and smiled at Tanya who smiled back at her. "I agree," Tanya said standing. "I wouldn't trust Bella's reputation with anyone else," she said simply. Chelsea beamed.

"I'm going to head back to the office," she paused, looking at Tanya. "You're welcome to come join me. You can meet my team and make sure you scare them straight about your expectations."

Tanya smiled, standing. "That sounds great. I'd love to join you."

Chelsea smiled and picked up her purse while Tanya gathered her own things. She looked at me, coming around the table to pull me into a hug. "Take care, mama. Call me later to let me know how the Pip is doing," she said squeezing me. I nodded, pulling away from her.

"Will do."

Tanya looked at Chelsea. "Led the way."

We said goodbye to both of them, and when they were gone, Edward and I both let out a heavy breath.

"Damn," he said shaking his head.

I nodded in agreement. "Come on babe, let's have some lunch before we head over to Dr. Pierce's."

…

"Bella, I'm very pleased at the progress you're making," Dr. Pierce said, looking over my vitals. "You said you're working out?" she asked. I huffed.

"I am trying. Mr. Hollywood over here sets some high standards in the house."

Edward smirked and Dr. Pierce laughed. "I hope you're not trying to keep up with him?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I shook my head.

"No. We do jog together on occasion, but mostly I'm focusing on yoga and a lot of toning."

Dr. Pierce nodded. "Good, that's very good. Well, you're looking very healthy so whatever you've been doing, keep up the good work." She stood up, smiling. "I'll send in Alicia." She left and I looked at Edward.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I bit my lip anxiously.

"Maybe? I don't know." I shook my head and he reached down to hold my hand.

"I'm right here, baby," he said softly. I let out a long breath.

The door opened and nurse Alicia walked in. She smiled at Edward, and I couldn't help the frown this time.

"Hello you two. Are you ready to try this again?" she asked setting up the machine. We both nodded. "Bella, will you pull your shirt up?"

I nodded, rolling the shirt up out of the way. I wondered if I would have to pull down my leggings, but when the nurse didn't say anything, I let them be. She turned to me, appling the gel gently, and I was surprised to realize that she didn't have to put it as low on my stomach this time. She brought the wand over and looked at us. "Ready?" We both nodded and she placed the wand against my stomach. It took a few minutes, and I was starting to get anxious when it happened. A fast, hummingbird beat, pulsing out of the machine. I gasped, completely caught off guard by the sound. There was actually something in me. The Pip had a heartbeat.

"Holy shit," I whispered, looking down at my stomach. I looked up at Edward who had tears in his eyes. I reached out to him and he took my hand, kissing it gently. "That's our Pip," I said, awed. Edward laughed, wiping at his tears.

"Yeah, baby. That's our Pip."

The nurse smiled at us, removing the wand after another moment. "Everything sounds great," she said handing me a towel. Edward took it, gently wiping my stomach. His thumbs traced over the bump where tiny Pip and it's beating heart lived.

"That was incredible," he breathed. Alicia smiled as she gathered her equipment. "I'll send the doctor in," she said slipping out of the room. Edward looked up at me.

"I mean, I knew you were pregnant, but," he trailed off, his eyes landing back on my stomach. I nodded.

"I know. There's a real Pip in there. It's not just in our heads," I said, my voice faint. Edward wiped my stomach clean and carefully lowered my shirt.

He looked like he wanted to ask me something, but then the door was opening, and Dr. Pierce was coming back in. "Alicia said everything sounded perfect," she said smiling. Edward nodding, moving back to my side.

"I'm still in shock," he said shaking his head. Dr. Pierce smiled.

"I imagine. It's always a bit overwhelming for new parents to hear the baby's heart for the first time." She smiled and Edward nodded, looking dazed. "Alright, so everything is progressing very well. Bella, you're on track with both your weight gain and your nutrition. Keep up the good work. Are there any questions you had for me?"

Edward looked at me, looking dazed. I sat up. "Actually, Edward and I were going to travel to Australia in a few weeks. Is there anything I need to do?"

Dr. Pierce frowned. "Well your immune system won't be as strong right now. I would recommend a flu shot just to be safe. Will you be gone long?"

I looked at Edward as I shook my head. "I don't know. We're going for a friend's wedding."

Dr. Pierce nodded. "Well, make sure to keep up your vitamins and health regiments while you're gone, and you should be fine. You're heading into your second trimester soon, which means likely you'll have a bit more energy and start to feel a little like your old self. That doesn't mean that you should forget you're pregnant. You're still vulnerable, so make sure you take care of yourself."

I nodded. "Okay, I can do that."

Dr. Pierce nodded. "

"Good. Keep up the good work. I'd like to see you in about four weeks," she said standing. I nodded, sliding off the exam table.

"Thank you, Doctor," Edward said pulling me to his side. She smiled at us.

"Take care and have fun in Australia," she said leaving the room. Edward and I headed out the back, like we had last time.

When we got in the car, Edward let out a long breath. "That was," he shook his head, speechless. He looked at me. "How are you?"

I swallowed. "I'm a little stunned. I mean, I know I'm pregnant but," I paused, looking down at my stomach. "There is a real Pip with a real heartbeat in there." I looked up at him and shook my head. "I don't know how to feel."

He nodded, reaching out to hold my hand.

"Should we go home?" he asked. I bit my lip.

"Yeah, but first, let's stop at Alice's place. I want to get more clothes."

Edward nodded, buckling up. We pulled away from the doctor's office and headed toward downtown.

We pulled up to Alice's place a few minutes later, and Edward surprised me by getting out of the car with me. He asked the valet to hold the car there for us and came around to hold my hand. Jared was there, holding the door for us, a wide smile on his face. "Evening, Miss Bella. It's good to see you again." He said, dipping his head to me. I smiled.

"It's good to see you too, Jared. How have you been?"

Jared nodded, shutting the door after we stepped into the lobby. "Just fine Miss Bella."

I nodded as Edward called the elevator. "How about Maggie?" I asked. Jared beamed.

"My Maggie is good, thank you for asking."

The elevator arrived and I turned and waved to him before stepping in the car. The doors shut and Edward hummed next to me.

"I never even stopped to get to know anyone here," he said shaking his head. I looked up at him.

"Force of habit for me," I said shrugging. He looked at me. "When I traveled alone, I made sure people who I'd see regularly knew my face and my name. It was always safer to make friends with staff of wherever I was." I explained. Edward nodded.

The elevator pulled up to Alice's floor and we headed down the hall.

I pulled my keys out, unlocking the front door.

There were lights on in the kitchen, and I was surprised when we ran into Jasper. He was wearing an apron, and there was a smudge of tomato sauce on his glasses.

"Hey, Jasper," I said smiling. He looked between me and Edward.

"Oh, uh, hey Bella," he swallowed. "Edward."

Edward smiled at him and clapped him on the shoulder. "It's good to see you again."

Jasper made a little sound that sounded like it was supposed to be a laugh. I smiled.

"We're just passing through," I said moving past him. "Won't be two minutes."

"Bella?" I looked up and smiled at Alice. She ran from her bedroom door, throwing her arms around me. "Oh, you're here! I've missed you!" she cried. I smiled, wrapping my arms around her.

"I've missed you too," I told her. "We're just picking up some of my stuff. We won't be here long," I said, glancing at Jasper. He was standing next to Edward nervously. Alice nodded.

"Okay, so let's catch up while you pack. Jazz, entertain Edward," she called, dragging me down the hall. Jasper looked dumbstruck and Edward was trying to hide his smile. I smirked and followed Alice into her spare room. "Okay, so how have you been? I haven't seen you in days!" she said sitting on my bed.

"Yeah, Edward and I are trying to work through some issues and we just sort of, I don't know. I don't know if we are living together, or what," I said shaking my head. Alice laughed.

"I think spending weeks at a guy's place means you're living with him." She said giggling.

"It's not been weeks," I protested. Alice snickered.

"I saw your photo on TMZ," she said, stretching out on the bed and leaning on a propped-up arm. I nodded, turning to the closet. "You guys looked like you were shooting the cover of a romance novel or something."

I barked out a laugh. "It was a lucky shot," I said shaking my head. Alice grinned.

"How did they get your name?"

"A girl I'd met in Portugal spilled the beans I guess," I said digging into the closet. "Although, the shit she's been saying has been mostly false."

"If you need me to go on the record, you just tell me," she said sincerely. I shot her a smile.

"Actually, now that you mention it, I might need you to lie about something," I said coming out of the closet. Alice frowned curiously. "Jane thought it would be better if we lied about how long we knew each other. So, if anyone asks, you introduced us when we were all in Italy. I guess you and Edward were working on one of his movies in Rome. I was further north, but we can stay vague about it."

Alice nodded, understanding. "Got it, I'll make sure that's the story we stick to."

I smiled at her.

"I've really missed you, Alice."

She smiled. "Me too, you. We should do a girl's night soon! We can invite Rose and just hang out."

I bit my lip. Edward hadn't talked to Rose since the whole ordeal last week. I knew he planned to talk to her soon, but I was sort of waiting from him to clear the air with her until I saw her again. I knew it was important to Edward that I at least try to get along with her after they made up, but fuck, I wasn't sure if I could handle any more drama from her.

Alice must have read the hesitation on my face, because she sat up, frowning. "Look, I know that some shit went down between you two," she said softly. I looked at her in surprise. "I don't know details, but Rose mentioned something when we talked a few days ago. I know that whatever it was, she feels bad about it."

I let out a long breath. "I do need to talk to her," I said slowly. "I was just, trying to focus on Edward first and foremost."

Alice nodded.

"Well, maybe a girl's night will give you and Rose the opportunity to bridge the gap between you two."

I nodded, biting my lip. "You're probably right," I glanced at her and sighed. "I guess, if we try to do it this weekend, we can invite Tanya as well. She's in town right now."

To my surprise, Alice lit up. "Yes! Bring her! I'd love to get to know her more." Alice bit her lip then, looking coy. I frowned at her and she giggled. "I'm pretty sure Tanya and I are going to be family one day."

I gaped at her, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Things are still going that well?" I asked. Alice nodded.

"Bella, he just keeps getting better. We spend as much free time as we can together, and it just doesn't feel like enough sometimes. I want to be with him all the time," she shook her head, laughing quietly to herself. "It's so strange, I mean, I've never been dependent on anyone, but with Jazz, it just feels, I don't know, it feels like I've found my best friend and my soulmate all in one."

I let out a breath. "Wow."

Alice smiled. "How are things between you and Edward? Have you guys been back to therapy?"

I blinked and nodded, looking away from her. "Yeah, we uh, we actually were just there a few days ago." I paused shaking my head. "Sometimes, we just scream at each other and it's so scary because I know that no one in the world can tear me down like he can, if he chooses. We've had some iffy moments, and we lost it in therapy, but it ended up being the shove we needed." I swallowed, licking my lips. "We finally said so much shit that has been between us, and it was like we were finally able to step back from our crazy emotions and just breathe." I let out a breath. "Since then, it's like we can finally talk again. Our guards have come down and we can finally start to actually get to know each other." I looked up Alice, who's eyes were wide. "I told Edward I loved him."

Alice gasped. "What? When?"

I smiled at her. "Last night. It was terrifying, I mean, scarier than that moment on that yacht when we thought we were going to sink," I said giving her a look. She snickered, shaking her head. That had been a shit crazy night. "But it was just right. I'm fucking terrified of everything about our relationship, but I know that there was no way I'd been able to stick around this long if I didn't love him, and it that was something he deserved to know."

Alice grinned, sitting up on the bed. "Bella, that is so incredible. I'm so happy for you."

I smiled at her. "Anyway, I guess the sum of it is my life is still as fucking crazy as usual," I said sniffing and laughing. Alice chuckled.

"I expect nothing less."

I smiled at her and she grinned at me as I finished packing up a bag. I'd have to bring a duffle back from Edward's if I wanted to bring any more clothes over at any point.

"Alright, we'll get out of your hair, it looks like you two have a date night."

Alice grinned. "That's right, it's the weekend, so no school in the morning. I can keep him up as late as I want," Alice teased. I laughed, opening the door.

Down the hall, Edward and Jasper were standing in about the same spot we'd left them in. Jasper looked a little flustered, but Edward was smiling.

"Come on, babe," I said reaching out to Edward. "Let's leave these two to it." I looked back at Alice who was wrapping her arms around Jasper's waist. "Let me know about girl's night. I'll tell Tanya," I told her. Alice beamed.

"Yes! Good night you two!" she called as we slid out the apartment. We called goodnight to them as the door shut.

"Ready to go home?" Edward asked. I smiled, taking his hand in mine.

"Absolutely."

…

Saturday, October 27

Los Angeles, California

12 Weeks

"I'm really not allowed?"

I smirked, and beside me in the driver's seat, Tanya snickered. "Nope, girl's night." I said shaking my head. Edward sighed, but I could tell it was teasing. "I don't know what I'll do, all by myself, all night." Edward's voice was husky. Tanya laughed, and I looked at her smiling. "Baby, am I on speaker?"

I snorted. "No, Tanya just has crazy hearing. Hold on." I pulled my phone from my face, turning the volume down before bringing the phone back to my ear.

"Boo!" Tanya shouted, making me laugh.

"That should be better." I told Edward.

He hummed. "Are you spending the night?" he asked.

"I don't know. Likely. Call Emmett or Alec or something."

Edward laughed. "You want me to hang out with Alec?"

I shrugged. "Aren't you guys friends?"

"We're friendly. I'm not all together convinced he likes me that much. I think I'm just a paycheck to him."

I frowned. Edward had only ever raved about Alec before. I had no idea they weren't close. "Okay, so invite him over and make a friend. I believe in you."

Edward snorted lightly and I smiled.

"Alright baby, we'll see. Have a good time tonight. I love you."

I smiled. "Love you too, babe. Goodnight."

We hung up and I let out a soft breath, clicking my phone off. Tanya glanced at me.

"Look how soft you are over him," she said smiling. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Soft my ass," I grumbled. Tanya snickered and I couldn't help my smile. "I'm glad you're in town to come to girl's night," I said looking at her. She smiled at me.

"Me too," she shook out her hair. "I've actually been wanting to talk to you about that," she looked at me and I frowned. "How long term do you think you'll be in LA?"

I blinked. I hadn't thought long term yet. I was still trying to come to terms with the Pip. "Uh, I don't know. I mean, I guess it'll be a long time. Unless Edward and I break up or something." I shrugged, frowning. Even if we broke up, I didn't think I'd be able to remove the Pip from Edward's life in any significant way.

Tanya glanced at me and rolled her own eyes.

"Why, what's up?" I asked, ignoring her implication. I wasn't quite ready to think about the long term of Edward and me yet. We were still just starting being a we.

"I was talking to the Editor-in-chief last week, you remember him from our meeting, right? Aro Lido?"

I nodded. He'd been a small, energetic man who had surprised me with his ability to take command of the room. Ultimately, he'd been the one who had signed off on me branching out to write a book.

"Yeah, I remember him."

Tanya nodded. "Anyway, he had all these ideas and we were running them past the CFO, and it looks like there might be an opportunity coming up for a whole new branch in the company for publishing." She glanced at me. "Aro asked me to head the project up."

I gaped at her. "Tanya, that's incredible! Congratulations!"

She smiled at me. "Well it gets better, because Aro has been wanting us to branch out into the LA market. He wanted to know if I'd be willing to relocate."

I sat forward, grabbing her arm. "You're moving to LA?"

Tanya shrugged. "It's not official yet, and if it does become official it wouldn't be for a while yet, but yeah, it's looking like it could become a possibility."

My heart burst in my chest as I smiled at her. "Tanya, that would be so fucking amazing!" I said shaking my head. "Fuck, I miss you so much all the time. It'd be incredible to see you whenever we wanted."

Tanya smiled at me. "Right? I could be so much closer to keep an eye on your troublemaking ass," she snickered. I laughed.

"Fuck, that would be so awesome. I can't wait."

Tanya grinned at me as she pulled up to Alice's apartment.

"Somehow, I knew you'd be up for it."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Now that I'm stationary, I don't know how the fuck we went so long without seeing each other."

Tanya looked at me as we climbed out of her car. "You were off living your own life. You had less time to miss me."

I frowned as she handed her keys off to the valet. I looked up at Jared as we approached the doors and smiled at him.

"Two days in a row," he said happily. I smiled at him.

"It's good to see you Jared. This is my best friend, Tanya."

Jared tipped his hat to her and she gave him a wide, flirty smile. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Tanya."

"You too Jared."

Tanya and I headed inside and stepped right onto the elevator. I glanced at her. "Okay, what?" she asked, frowning. I shrugged.

"I'm just realizing that I've probably been a really difficult friend to have these last few years." I shook my head. "I'm sorry if our friendship has been lopsided."

Tanya turned to me; her brows furrowed. "Bella, you are who you are. I've always known that, and I expect nothing else from you. The friendship you've given me has been exactly what I wanted from you. Sure, you're not like other friends, but that's the fucking point. You're you."

My eyes watered as I looked at her and she smiled, pulling me into a quick hug. "This Pip of yours sure has you weepy."

I laughed, slapping at my cheeks. "Fuck, I know. It's a pain in the ass."

Tanya laughed as the elevator arrived at Alice's floor. We got out, heading down the hall.

Alice's door was unlocked, and I let us in without knocking. "Ali, we're here!" I called.

"Come in!" Alice called from the living room. We entered the apartment, heading toward the living room. Inside, Rose and Alice were sitting on the sofa's margaritas in their hands.

Alice jumped up. "Perfect timing! Come in, grab a drink and sit down!"

Tanya grabbed a margarita while I grabbed a sparkling water. I eyed Rose across the room warily and saw her stand up, looking anxious. She motioned to the balcony, and I bit my lip, nodding as I followed her outside. Edward had called her last night, and they had spent several hours talking over things. I'd gone upstairs to the office to work a little to give them privacy, and when they were done, I hadn't asked Edward for any details.

We sat at the little table Alice had out there, neither of us talking for a moment.

Finally, Rose sighed.

"Bella, I owe you an apology." I stared at her, not speaking and she glanced up at me before looking back down at her drink. "I was out of line, when I talked to you that night. I," she paused, shaking her head. "Edward is my family, and I am fiercely protective of my family," she said softly, her eyes not meeting mine. "When he told me how much it had hurt him when you disappeared on him," she paused again, her hands clenching a little around her glass. "I was furious." She finally looked up at me. "I didn't care what your side of the story was, I didn't care if you had a legit reason. All I cared about was Edward was in pain." She stopped, one hand reaching out to fiddle with her wedding ring. "Edward keeps things close to the chest. He's been famous long enough that he has learned not to overshare or even talk about personal things. It's automatic for him now, and I knew that there was no way he'd told you the extent of the pain he'd been in that week." Rose glanced at me again. "It wasn't right. I thought you were going to try to just blow past things without facing any of them, and my anger just took over all rational thought."

She was quiet a long moment, and I swallowed thickly, trying to find the right words. "I appreciate that you were looking out for Edward," I said after a moment. She glanced at me. "I mean it. It means a lot to me that he has people who have his back like that." I looked down at my can of sparkling water. "I'm also grateful that you helped me see that side of Edward. I didn't realize how much he'd been keeping from me until then." I frowned at my hands. "As shitty as hearing what you had to say felt, in the end, it was information I needed to get Edward to finally talk to me." I sighed, glancing up at her. "I wish that you had had slightly less malicious intentions, but I can't fault you for what you did."

Rose sagged a little. "I pretended my intentions were noble," she said quietly. "But you're right. I wanted to hurt you, and I'm sorry about that."

I stared at her, my eyes stinging. "Did Edward tell you we've been in therapy?"

Rose shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.

"Not until after I'd said those things to you," she huffed, reaching up to push her hair out of her face. "The one time the bastard keeps something from me," she grunted. I smiled sadly. "Bella," she paused, frowning to herself. "Shit, this isn't easy for me to admit and if you tell Edward I'll kill you," she said shooting me a look that let me know she was probably joking. "He is like my brother, and we're similar enough that we've always understood each other in ways other people can't understand us." She dropped her hands from her long hair, placing them on the table. "When I realized that he had someone in his life that he was working on sharing with, someone beyond the surface crap that his last relationships had been, I admit, I was jealous. I'm used to him confiding in me, because I get how he thinks. I confide in him all the time for the same reason. I love Emmett with all my heart, but there are somethings he just doesn't get, and it's a relief for me to talk to someone who does get them." Rose looked at me. "Realistically, I knew that my relationship with Edward couldn't always be the same, but I always figured that even when he fell in love and got married or started a family or whatever, we'd still have that bond. But he's been relying less on us lately, and it made me feel insecure and afraid that I was losing one of my best friends."

I stared at Rose, blown away by her confession. I struggled for a minute, trying to find my voice and sort through my thoughts. Finally, I swallowed and nodded. "Thank you," I said quietly. She looked at me. "For telling me all that. I, I want you to know I'm not trying to take Edward from you. If anything, I want him to be relying on his friends more than ever right now. What he and I are going through isn't easy, and I know I'm relying on everyone I fucking can right now to get through it," I laughed softly and Rose offered me a watery grin. "Edward loves you. It's evident whenever you come up in conversation. I would never want to come between the bond you two share." I told her softly. She let out a long breath.

"It's appropriate that he turn to you first," she said after a minute. "I just, I don't do so well with change."

I smiled sadly. Tentatively, I reached out to her, my hand covering hers lightly. "Rose, I want us to be friends. Not only for Edwards sake. I see how much you love the people around you, and I respect that a lot. I think if we could get past this shit, we might get along really well," I said gently. She looked at me and sighed.

"I'd like that, Bella."

I smiled at her. Shit wasn't magically perfect, but I felt so much better now that Rose and I had talked. She'd given me a lot to think about, and the insights she'd had about her relationship with Edward helped me understand more about where she was coming from.

We sat on the balcony talking a little while longer until the slider door opened and Alice popped her head out, announcing the pizza had been delivered. We both headed inside, and though we didn't hug or anything after our talk, Rose offered me a genuine smile which I reciprocated.

Inside, Tanya and Alice were sitting on the sofa, giggling together as Tanya told Alice all of Jasper's most embarrassing moments from high school.

I smiled at the sight of them, grabbing a slice of my own pizza. Rose grabbed her own slice, sitting with Alice and Tanya, and soon, she was laughing with them as Tanya regaled them with the story of her first kiss. A feeling overcame me, looking at these incredible women sitting together and laughing. I'd never considered myself to be blessed with an abundant of loved ones in my life. I had my dad, and later, Sue and Seth and Tanya, but my loved ones had always been spread out, far and wide. I had no idea how good it could feel to have people in your life you loved and who loved you back, unconditionally. Even if we couldn't always be together, we were all here now, and my heart swelled with warmth. I was so much more blessed than I ever realized.

AN:I know people like to give Rose a hard time in general, but hopefully this chapter sort of opened your eyes as to what she was thinking when she lashed out.

This chapter marks about halfway through the story! Originally I had plotted out 25 chapters and about 150K words, but since as of this chapter, the story is well over 100K, I've realized that the final word count will be closer to 200/225K (somewhere between 350 - 400 pages approximately.) I have much of that written already, and I'm just spending time on the last quarter of the story now!

As the writer (and as someone in the midst of turning in a dissertation) I'm shocked at the number of words. But, thus far the writing has come to me easily enough, and the mere act of writing fiction (even fanfiction) has been a tremendous stress reliever and therapy for me.

I've gotten a few PMs about if I plan to write anything after this, and I can say that yes, I have another story planned out and actually started. I won't start posting it until this one is complete, but know that at least for now, there is another story on it's way after this. As we come closer to wrapping this up, I'll put out a description for the new story.

Along that note, I am looking for a someone to help me Beta. When I'm done with my dissertation, I'll be able to spend a lot more time writing, and I'd like to clean up the loose ends of my story telling. If you are interested, or no someone who might be, please send me a message!

Until then, thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing. xx