I'll Live

Without any greeting or waiting for any acknowledgement, Sam marched up to us. To me. And without preamble declared, "You may not have said anything, but I still don't like you."

His greeting cut off, Danny sputtered. "Sam!"

I blinked, took it in, and tilted my head down to acknowledge her words. "Okay."

She blinked back, startled. "Okay?"

"What? Okay? Ashley!"

I turned to Danny, pointing. "Danny!" And moved my index finger beside him. "Tucker!"

Tucker snorted, laughing. But Danny appeared aghast. His mouth hung open, shifting his head from me and to Sam and then back to me. "How are you okay with that?"

"Should I ask for clarity about not saying anything, because I really wanted to do that."

Sam's straight face morphed very quickly into a scowl, stomping a step towards me. "You were going to say it! There's no way I'm trusting you near Danny!"

"Hey!" Danny protested.

Shifting back, I kept quiet, waiting. Waiting for Sam to let it all out. Why did I speak? Why did I say anything?

Danny and Tucker had been joking around. And I had been tossing in a few jokes, enjoying how their faces would light up, grinning and laughing.

I had been enjoying what had been slowly been becoming routine. I had really been enjoying it this afternoon, as during our first lunch back today, Danny had asked a couple probing questions about, as he quoted from his sister, 'my home life'. I knew that was not going to end well in how Danny spoke about Jazz's passionate interest in psychology.

Slipping back to the new routine this afternoon was nice. Just before and now after Winter Break routine. That Danny, and Tucker with him, coming over to my locker when school finished up. The three of us heading out together, then going our separate ways. It was nice.

And then Sam came up and I spoke without thinking.

"I meant," I began softly. To myself, but to my surprise, it garnered attention and they all turned to me. Expectant, aggravated, curious. "I was tempted to say the word. Anything. Because you said I didn't say anything, so..."

I trailed off, glancing away from their staring eyes.

"Nevermind."

This is what happened. More often. When I said jokes out loud, my humor not hitting right, not fitting and misunderstood and disliked. It wasn't as though I did say anything out loud, but when I did these days, her and home and most... Well, Danny liked it. And Tucker. So it was nice to test it out, decide to say it rather than think it in my head. Not easy, but easier to do at school recently. Or at least, in the spare time hanging out with Danny.

"What didn't I say anything abo—"

Danny interrupted, snickers bursting out from him. I turned away from Sam, her head already turned, eyes wide and distinctly not amused. I blinked. And then Tucker grinned, snickering as Danny cracked into laughter. "Said anything! Ha!"

That was...delayed. Quite a delayed reaction. I blinked at Danny again. It hadn't been that funny of a joke.

I blinked, quickly glancing away after sharing a look with Sam.

Tucker's head swiveled between us. And snorted. "No, that was a funny one, Ashley. And yes, Sam, that's at least half of why Danny winds up laughing around her. Did you not pick up on the brightest time of the year one?"

"I did," Sam drew out testily. "But I was hoping it was a one time thing, something as part of the gift, for the holiday. And you don't voice it or show it, giving any sign that it was a joke! How else was I supposed to take that?"

Oh. I didn't? I was only trying not to look like I was laughing at her. And—

Danny drew a breath, a chortle cutting sharply through my thoughts as he leaned forward with an excited grin, blue eyes sparkling at Sam. Whose scowling face lessened. A slightest intake of breath and slightest draw of her head back.

"That's part of the fun, Sam! Spotting them! Ashley drops her jokes with such a straight face, that if you aren't paying real attention, you miss it! But they're hilarious! Oh! I still love the one where you bought me a dance with the quarterback, Ashley. And the—"

"With Dash?" Sam interrupted, her voice going up a notch with eyebrows matching. "You bought a... You danced with Dash?"

"Oh, no." Tucker grinned, almost viciously. Wide eyed, I watched, sure of this going badly. Tucker had quite a look of glee written all over his face. "Danny danced with a quarterback. Quarter. Back."

Sam stared. "As in... The coin!?"

Danny cracked back up, reaching out with a hand toward the lockers to hold himself up, breathlessly nodding the affirmative at Sam. At seeing her open mouthed, flabbergasted, are-you-kidding-me face... Well, I stared as he bent in half, barely holding himself up in his laughter.

I'll be glad I can make him laugh every now and then, but still...

"I'm not that funny."

Not by far.

"True. You were the more serious one, even when we were little."

Startled by the new voice, Tucker and Sam spun quickly about, finding Valerie standing there. Her gaze went from me and to Danny, who was still bent over as he tried to get his breath back. A fond smile crossed her mouth, shaking her head, then looked back to us.

"What is he laughing about?" She asked plaintively, shifting her stack in her hands, text book and notebook marked her as coming from Biology. Sam glared, obviously not willing to give answer or wanting to speak to Valerie. I noticed Tucker being awkward, kind of smiling, but staying silent as his eyes shifted from Sam to Valerie to Danny to Sam and back to Valerie before settling off somewhere to the side as though watching the hallway was more interesting. Or, safer.

Danny gulped in a breath of air. "Sam's...face..." And somehow, he stood nearly upright to face her, cheeks full of color. "Hey, Valerie."

Valerie tucked a strand of hair behind an ear, ignoring Sam and Tucker as she smiled at Danny. "Hey, Danny."

Well.

I stared at the group.

Well.

That certainly added a layer of awkwardness. I knew Valerie and Danny got along all right at school. They both had their methods to secretly protect Amity. Which should make them allies, but Danny's version put him in Valerie's line of fire. Friction. And possibly a real danger. Which Sam... Yeah, okay. I don't really blame her on that.

Except, well.

They both liked him, didn't they?

It was obvious. For all most didn't really believe Sam and him were a couple, only got kicks from their reactions loudly decrying it. It was still obvious Sam liked him a bit more than straight friendship. Or at least to me. And Dash maybe, I think. After all, he was tied up in other reasons and emotions and not being able to let go of the past with them. Anyone else speaking of her snorted at the idea of Sam ever being in a relationship or falling in love. Including Valerie as far as I knew.

"Right. So," Valerie trailed off. Her gaze moved to me. "What did you say that wasn't funny? Was it something along the lines of the proper amount of Spice Girls played on the radio should be peppered in sparsely in order for one to truly enjoy them?"

Danny blinked. "Spice Girls?"

Snorted. "Peppered in?"

And then desperately tried to cover his mouth to cover his laughter.

Valerie fought a laugh at watching him. "I'll take that as a yes. It's been a while since I heard one of those from you. Kyla would always laugh so hard and Paulina's whole face would brighten when she got one, breaking into giggles and..."

Her smile faded as she ceased talking about memories from us years back. Shook her head and pasted on a smile again, huffing a little. "Er, well, the Spice Girls joke is funny now, but we did get rather riled up about that one because we were rather obsessed with them back then. You not as..."

Frowning, Valerie turned her head at the shiver and stillness. Danny appeared to be caught in the act, eyes large. Then flickering to the side nervously, the hallway lighting showing the faint sparks of greenness to the blue.

"Danny?"

She sucked in a sudden breath as well, shifting her books close to her chest with one hand, the now freed hand going to touch her pocket.

Oh. Well. Sam and Tucker had much the same faces on them, frantically trying to figure out something as their gazes moved between Valerie and I.

"Did you forget about work?"

Valerie's head snapped over to me, hand fisting in her pocket tightly. Her wide eyes and body tight in tension. I shifted back awkwardly, tilting my head down slightly to not have that boring straight at me.

"You looked like you forgot something. I guessed a work shift as school is done for..." I trailed off and shrugged.

Valerie leapt with great relief, her whole body shifting forward as she moved. "Yeah! A shift at Nasty Burger! Sorry, Danny! Ashley! Got to go!" And she careened down the hallway and around the corner.

I hummed the chorus of "Runaway" at how quickly Valerie took off. Oooh, she's a little runaway. And turned back to my locker to dig inside of it, nearly sticking my head in, as I grabbed a few books checked out from the library. Pretending not to hear a few muted shrieks from somewhere in that direction and the faint shout rising above it.

Box Ghost. There was a familiar one. I think, possibly unfortunately, there had been a delivery made for new beakers in the—CRASH!—science classrooms. Yeah. I winced. Unfortunately. Hopefully it wasn't all the beakers for all the science classrooms.

When I closed my locker, I ducked and turned my head away, so Tucker and Sam couldn't see my smile. Danny had taken the chance to race off to help. Well, as much as he could when it came to both of them going after a ghost.

I lifted up my backpack, swinging it up onto a shoulder, and patted at the solid bottom in reassurance. Just in case. I used to have the simple basics I sometimes needed tucked into the side pockets, but I was glad I had taken the time and chance to get a first aid kit. It laid carefully flat at the bottom, hidden away under textbooks and notebooks.

"So..."

I fiddled with the strap, glancing back over my shoulder to Tucker and Sam. Her face pinched, foot sliding back from heading down the hallway herself. Which answered one slight worry of mine. They weren't too concerned on Danny or Valerie's ability to handle Box Ghost. Tucker muttered over at her, giving a shrug and lopsided grin, attention falling back to me.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"He went to the bathroom," Sam shot in defensively and with a scowl.

I blinked and shook my head. "No. I, I was going to ask for clarity about anything."

She drew back, blinking in either surprise or shock, though I think it was both. Over how I didn't need or felt the need to ask where Danny disappeared to. I already knew he was down the hallway, around the corner, and all the way down that hallway near the science rooms.

"I, uh, I don't have to explain myself to you," she stuttered and then snipped at me. Crossing her arms and reaffixing the scowl on her face.

Well, Sam was right. She didn't have to explain herself to me. Just because I voiced my curiosity, she didn't have to explain herself. Besides, last time I did that with her, it didn't really go well. I should have gone with staying silent, that was a safer bet. Certainly better than continuing my joke and saying the word 'anything'. Danny may like my humor, Tucker too, but I did not want to purposely rile up Sam. I may have accidently managed that earlier, but—

Tucker snorted. Gave a bit of an odd hop skip away from her and towards me. Grinned, tossing an amused look back to Sam, then shifting closer to me. "You said anything, an okay joke with the timing by the way, but not anything about where she lives."

And that explained a change of treatment toward me how?

"Okay."

"She expected you would. It was a test. It took forever until Danny or I were invited over to her place. She doesn't like or want people knowing."

And yet she invited me over, chancing that, highly in what she expected from me because... Oh. A test. To see if I could be trusted with Danny. Sam had been willing to open herself up to spare him. Or, well, an attempt to. Possibly seeing what chances were of me talking to anyone else about him in reference to anything ghosts. Maybe?

Making her way around, Sam pointed at me, eyes narrowed.

"I trust you. But not very far. And I still don't like you."

I nodded. Fair enough. And I understood that. Besides, you can't force people to like you. You could be kind and helpful and hope they would, but that was about it as far as I could tell. And Sam was Sam. Very...stubborn and bristly and protective.

"Okay."

Her scowl deepened. "See, that." She looked to Tucker. Then back to me, gesturing at me. "What is with that? Who takes dislike that easily? Not saying a thing? And with that face?"

Tucker's head swiveled, surprised and startled and unwillingness showing. "Er, that's kind of probably because of, uh, oh man. Danny was, but, erm. I guess it was mostly guys behind the thing... Um."

That was...odd. But I wasn't anywhere near of an idea as to what Tucker was babbling about and he did not look as though he was going to speak more about it. So I turned back to Sam. Confused, I spoke up slowly, as my not saying much was appearing to bother her. "With that face? It's...my face? Listening and taking you seriously?"

"Well." She paused, drawing her head back and pulling her lips back on one corner as she looked me up and down. "You look like you're staring at me as if you're better than anyone, thinking horrid things in your head at me."

Startled, I blinked, quickly fixing my backpack strap back up from slipping down.

"Oh."

She seemed very serious. This is how she saw me looking at her. Of me keeping my face relaxed.

"I'm not. I'm really not."

Her head tilted. "You know what's weird? I think I believe you. About that."

"Ohthankgod," Tucker breathed out in one word as his whole body sank in relief.

Sam rolled her eyes, not bothering to give a response to that. "My parents and several teachers say similar things about my face. Tucker here, has even said straight to my face, that I had a very scary face."

"Hey. It was back in third grade, I only just met you, and it was very true." His eyes locked on mine, beseeching me to agree with him. "She told off the dude and I about standing up to some bullies, screaming that we must have lost our marbles. Very scary face. Scarier for the bullies when she went after them, but still. Very scary face."

Sam smirked, proud. "It comes in handy."

Tucker raised an eyebrow at her. "You know that you're still scary, right?"

She grinned.

"Is that agreement I hear about tofu?"

"Oh no, it's not! You'll never make me give up my meat!"

Maybe Sam had a point, from an outsider's prospective. I wasn't too sure what I could do about my face, but what she said matched. Only one other person said, often and many times, that my listening face looked as though it was saying rude thoughts. She'd been the only one. But well, when she got like that, any kind of face would set off a tirade from my—

"Incoming! Head's up—er down!"

We all ducked. Black and then red blew past us overhead. Something metallic hit the ground, sliding and hitting the lockers with a clang. A blast missed, scorching a few lockers. And then both flying blurs of briefly spotted colors were gone, out of sight.

"Danny!"

"Got it!"

Tucker scrambled, grabbing a hold of a silver thermos.

I ran with, hurrying along with them as they sprinted the length of the hallway, reaching back with my arm to hold my backpack from bouncing too much. I didn't want to lose it. Not with what I had inside of it.

Thankfully, Valerie had lost sight of Danny around the next corner, telling us to stay safe and warning us about the spook before she zipped off to search for him. A few seconds later, a head of messy black hair popped out from behind the bathroom door. Keeping up Sam's cover for him? I wondered upon it, trying not to smile and laugh at the fact he had apparently run into the girls' bathroom in his rush.

"You didn't see Phantom in there, did you?" Sam asked hurriedly, her eyes flashing quickly to me and back.

Danny frowned. "But, er, um, riiight. Um, I didn't lay my eyes on the sight of him?"

Sighing, I set down my backpack, digging out the item of interest.

"Right. First things first, unless this is like the last time you washed up in the restroom."

And as I held the first aid kit up, Danny burst into giggles.

Baffled, Tucker and Sam shared looks.

I stared.

"And I repeat," I said dryly at Danny. "I am not that funny."

Do you know what is fun? Explaining a certain kind of face without using today's terms, as the common phrase for it now, wasn't really around back then. Giggly Danny is fun and so is a more relaxed Ashley.

But, also, yes Tucker, with all that surrounds Ashley and Valerie popping up to remind them of old friends and a ghost showing up... Send your thanks on Sam not reacting worse at that point.

Always pleased to see several follows and favorites to Ashley. And amazed! Thank you to Luna Lillyth and CarishTale for reviewing!