Paul's POV

Oh fuck me.

At this point the baby Cullen could ask me whatever the fuck she wanted and I'd be all sir yes sir mode on and just do it no questions asked.

Man. I was a different person. Who knew actually trying to understand someone would work out? Ever since Nellie had that dramatic moment of asking me to be there for her, as a true friend would be, I was just…fucking nice and all. It felt so good to know that someone cares about me and wants me there in their life. The fact that it was Nellie only made me feel better about myself. Maybe there was still hope for me to become an upstanding citizen people would look up to.

What got me in a bit of a funk was the fact that my dad obviously knew more than he let on. Why he wouldn't tell me, I had no idea, but I figured he had his reasons. A couple of months ago I would've fucked up the entire house in search for answers but now I was just calm. The time would come for the two of Lahote boys to talk to each other. It just wasn't now.

What also had to wait it's time was the fact that Monica was in contact with the fucking psycho murderer. I wanted to tell Nell all about it. She had every right to know. It would probably help with the investigation and everything the lawyer had to do that I knew nothing about. I meant to tell her the day she called me to tell me about her little conversation with my dad but I just kept quiet. I don't know why I thought it was the best thing to do but I just didn't want to fuck her up even more. She was obviously afraid of what was coming with the whole vampiric evolution that she was going through. Besides, Monica had me and even though we did a grwat job of not telling anything to Nell and Embry, I was sure that if the need arose for them to get involved they would do it. Just not now.

''What? What is there?'' – the only downside was that it was me who got to spend too much time around Monica now because that meant seeing too much of Dylan the annoying ex boyfriend and brother. Monica waved her han din front of my eyes as if that was going to make the situation any less annoying.

''Nothing. Just thinking.'' – she snorted. Embry rubbed off on her.

''Don't hurt yourself Lahote.'' – fucking ha ha. She was funny though. Monica was like an annoying sister to me. I always wanted a sibling and I was sure I got more than I asked for with the pack but that was nothing compared with Monica. If somebody asked me how I imagined a sister I'd tell them about her. I would never tell it to her of fucking course. Just…whatever. I don't know.

''Fucking hilarious. You know that?'' – I told her with a fake laughter but she just nudged me on the shoulder with her I know you like me wink.

''Puh-lease. If you didn't want to be here you wouldn't be.'' – that was true. – ''ANyway, you don't have to wait with me for much longer. Dylan is coming.''

''Oh. The charmer.'' – Monica didn't like the fact that I used every second available to talk shit about Dylan. After all while I felt like she was my sister in reality it was him that had the honour. Just what the fuck was i tup with this guy? He got all the best the world had to offer – Monica as his sister and Nell as her girlfriend and he still managed to fuck it up.

Monica rarely spoke about it but I could see how much she was hurt by what Dylan did on the night Nell got killed. Especially now that she was aware of the fact that the real target was her. She was both angry at him and worried about him. She didn't want to tell him anything about what was going on because she knew he would find the guy and kill him right there. It made her sad though that the fact the he fucked up saved her but got her best friend in trouble. Understatement of the fucking year right there. The whole situation was just severly fucked up. I was amazed by how Monica was handling it. Playing all of us at once like she was some circus juggler. She was able to act n whatever way was fit around certain people and the second she was left alone she would once again let herself think about how to get the murdereus fuck.

The fact that she wasn't even scared fucking got me. She was so pissed that she didn't care. She gave zero fucks about whether or not she was going to get hurt because the only thing that mattered was getting him and locking him up for what he did to Nell. Monica truly was a treasure and I almost felt bad for lying to her about Embry.

Luckly. The two seemed like they didn't mind that the bond wasn't there.

Embry spent a loto f time just thinking thw whole thing over and over and over. It was like his brain was on Monica loop all the time. She managed to calm him down about his mum and he brought her peace. It was like the only time when she would truly show all her emotions and thoughts was when she was with him. He was her anchor and she was his.

This one time I was on patrol with Embry. Ever since Jake fucked off to who-knows-whereville we were a bit short on people. Even though a bunch of kids phased we couldn't exactly just throw them under the bus so we had to take on more patrols until they got their shirt together. So Embry and I are on patrol and the dude just straight up starts thinking about Monica and it took him by surprise as well. I could see her in his mind like she was on that first day we saw her. He hel her in his arms then to help her when she almost fell but now as he was looking at her in his memory he wasn't angry. He wasn't pissed of he was just utterly amazed. It was like the more he thought about her the more he felt as if the whole imprinting thing was true. Call was slowly falling in lovw with her no matter how hard he tried to ignore it and just write it off as friendship.

I would worry about it if I didn't spend a loto f time around Monica. When she wasn't worying and blaming herself she was constantly talking about him. Even when she wasn't thinking and talking about him she actually was. Those two were fucking idiots. They were together but somehow managed not to be together at the same time because they weren't sure about what the other person was feeling.

It kind of fucking reminded me of someone.

The someone being me, of course.

I'd sooner die than confess that the same things Call and Monica were starting to feel for each other were in me as well. It was just Nell all the time. I would do some shit and my mind would jump to her plaguing me with htoughts of her and how she would react and how she would laugh and just Nell. Nellie. Nell Nell. She was all there was for me. Fucking turned me into a better person but I wasn't a saint. I was selfish enough to want her for myself and a coward enough not to tell her anything.

Fucking idiot.

''Paulie boy?'' – Monica waved her han din front of me again. Her green eyes were filled with worry. I smiled at her trying to make it as clown like as possible before winking at her. – ''Og fuck you Lahote. For a second I thought you actually fryed your brain.''

''I'm not you Mona Bona.'' – I ruffled her blonde hair.

''You're turning my hair to. Stop.'' – Monica was similar to me. She always used fucked up sense of humour to hide what she actually felt. But, unfortunately for her the small smile that appeared on her face was enough to show me that she actually liked it when I'd mess her hair.

''Sorry.'' – She nudged me again with a soft fine idiot. – ''Where's the brother anyway.''

''Oh who the fuck knows. I called him like five times already. He's still pissed at me for not telling him I had a boyfriend down at La Push. Not like I knew anything about it. Fuck, I still have no idea what's that about.''

''Big brother thing I guess.'' – I would be worried too i fit was my sister in a situation like that.

''Meh. I guess.'' – She turned to me suddenly all serious. – ''I want to thank you for being here with me and for helping me get that motherfucker. We'll find him. I'm sure o fit. We'll make him pay for what he did.''

''Sure thing, Mona. No doubt about that.'' – she noded with determination setting in on her face.

''I know Nell will be angry about it but we need to do this. We agreed, right?''

''Yes. Get the evidence. Use the fact that only you know about the message on your phone that took Nell to the warehouse to set him a trap and then just finish him off. Don't worry. It'll be fine.''

''Good. Good.'' – she squeezed my hand. – ''I'm so happy Nell has you as well. Her new family is great and all but I'm just glad she had someone like you there too. Same for you. Use the fact that you have the best girl ever for a friend and the destined whatever in your life. You two can help each other a lot. End the circle of fuck ups and live your life.'' – it was my turn to snort.

''Sure thing, Monica. Worry about yourself, though.''

''Whafuckingever.'' – she mocked my voice and did it almost accurately. I was about to respond to that by imitating her own dumbass saying but Dylan finally pulled over to pick her up. her car got fucked up for no reason a couple of days back so now whenever we would meet in Port Angeles or when she would come down to La Push it was Dylan who would bring her over. He wasn't happy about it but he did whatever she wanted.

''Dylan!'' – she ran into his arms. – ''Hello there big brother.''- she could be so fucking adorable sometimes and then turn into a real bitch in a matter of seconds. A perfect girl right there. Lucky bastard Call.

''Get off, Monica.'' – Dylan tried to pry her off himself but he couldn't help but smile. The look he had on his face whenever he would look at her was that of absolute love. – ''Hey.'' – he noticed me as well. I was still learning to control myself from just fucking him up for what he did to Nell. Monica was aware of that sos he always tried to get him away as fast as possible before he'd notice anything strange.

''Yo.'' – I said back. It was the polite thing to do.

''Time to go. Bye Paul. Thanks for helping me.'' – she would always make up some excuse as to why she was meeting up with me. Today we were buying a gift for Embry since his birthday was coming up soon. That was a fucking lie but it kept Dylan away from snooping around. And he surely would snoop around if he knew his little sister was going around looking for the perfect place to set a trap for the guy that wanted to kill her but instead killed her best friend.

''No problemo.'' – I waved at the same time that she waved at me and took off in the direction of the woods. The last thing I heard from them as I was getting out of their line of sight was Monica not wanting to thank himfor coming to get her because he's her brother and it's only natural for him to do it and him responding that he's her step brother. Tomato-tomato.

Just when I thought things were slowly coming into place even though a loto f fucked up shit was going on with Nell's freaking vamp evolution and Monica's detective game I was proven wrong. Because why would we have peace for a couple of days when we can have mayham.

As soon as I hit up our territory I was met with an orchestra of wolf voices in my own head. It was so fucking overwhelming having a bunch of people screaming their minds off. I tried to get what was going in but it was hard until it finally hit me. Jake was back and he sure had something to show us.

Fuck me. I wanted to throw up when I saw the leechlover in his mind. The girl was once Bella Swann but now she was just…I don't even know how to describe that. she was fucking pregnant. How was that even possible? Leeches were fucking dead so what was this biology defying shit? The guys all thought the same and before I knew it I was agreeing to a fight with the Cullens. We had to kill whatever the fuck that thing inside Bella was. We had to kill it and i fit meant killing a couple more of the bloodsuckers so be it.

Nell.

That's when it hit me.

I already saw her as a different entity altogether. In my head she wasn't a bloodsucker but now I had to choose.

She was suddenly there in front of me. I could see her face. I could see her as she pleaded me to be there for her and for a second it overwhelmed me. I promised her. I gave her my word. And…

She lied.

She did. She fucking lied. And the wolf in me lost it. She must have known about Bella. That's why she forced me to promise her. Fuck that. Fuck all of that.

It was time we buried them. They were overdue for a funeral.

Somehow the fact that Nell actually lied to me and used me was what hit me the hardest.

I didn't even care about Bella. It was Nell. The one I changed for. The one I wanted to be there for. The one I wanted to have the bond back in place with. She fucking lied like everybody fucking else in my life.

I could feel Embry thinking the same about Monica. If Nell knew then Monica knew as well. After all she had no problems with going over to the graveyard house. Call wasn't pissed. No. He was better then me. He understood them. And it disappointed him.

I wasn't disappointed. I was pissed off.

I could feel something in me breaking whenever I'd think about Nell. I didn't even notice Jake and his little clique going away. I didn't care about them. I didn't care that they warned the bloodsuckers. They were going to pay for everything.

By the time we got there the Cullens were indeed warned about us. Thank you Jake, you fucking traitor.

Sam wanted me to go with him and Jared on Bella. We were the ones capable of taking them on and killing Jake's little leechlover on. Anger was clouding me. They were targets. Nothing else. I heard Sam mention Nell but I had no idea who was going to be in charge of getting her. I didn't care. I son't care. I don't- fucking. Nell. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

I fucking ran. My eyes were burning when we reached them and if I didn't get to burn my anger out soon I would die.

I don't even know who started it. Maybe it was me? Maybe not. Blondie was next to Bella. I had no interest in fighting her. I needed a challenge. I needed to go crazy. Her usband and the emotion-control officer were close by. Those two were my targets. I didn't care about the rest.

Somebody was trying to speak. It was the mother leech I realized. But they were far away. Jake helped them get past us to hunt and now they would pay the price. We had the number. Surprise meant nothing.

I caught the grey mist out of the corner of my eyes and I could hear some of the younger wolves whimper. Nell was projecting their fears to them. It was strong. I knew how strong it was and it was fucking working. She managed to get them out of the fight with her head alone.

It pissed me off even more. She was standing with the enemy. She was the enemy. I hated it all. Fuck my life. I wanted it all to stop. You fucking lied Nell! I wanted to scream at her. You fucking lied! You used me! Fucking… Fuck me!

''Fall back!'' – Sam yelled at us. Her fear turned our numbers to shit. They were fucking strong.

''We can take them!'' – I yelled back.

''No.'' – Sam was calm though determined. Maybe not today but soon enough. Bella will die soon enough and then it was their turn to burn.

As we retreated I could see Nell looking at me. She looked heartbroken and for a second I wanted to go there to her. There was no going back. Not this time. Not ever. She used my dad to get me to promise her. The promise meant nothing now. Turns out she was a bigger monster than I thought.

''Paul!'' – she yelled out. –''I didn't lie to you.'' – her voice was barely a whisper. Another lie. Her brothers were next to her right away. – ''Please! Please!'' – she cried out and it was breaking me as well. Jared was biting into my shoulder to get me to walk back with them.

And then I froze. I froze because Nell fell to the ground coughing out blood. It was dark and the smell was almost too much for us. It was that sickly sweet smell and I could hear her choking. She was clutching her chest as she gasped for air. I could feel the dread and wonder the others felt as we all watched what was happening to her. That's when I heared it. The sound was faint and slow but it was there.

Her heart was beating.