Chapter 19
I pulled up to the garage, my hands shaking on the steering wheel.
After I'd got home after Embry's I'd pretty much stayed awake all night stressing about seeing Edward.
I had such mixed feelings.
I wanted to talk to him, to reconnect but…
I was also mad at him.
He never tried to contact me.
The fight we had before I found out about Char-Tanya, was bad but in the back of my mind I guess I kind of expected him to...come back around.
For someone who claimed to have feelings for me he clearly meant it when he said he was done.
More than that, he didn't tell me who he was when we ran into each other again. Yeah, maybe I should have recognised him but…when I didn't, he should have come clean.
So...I was mad. And Edward was definitely mad at me.
The problem was, now we were back in each other's lives.
So…what was I supposed to do?
I had so many questions.
Why was he here? Why wasn't he in school? When did he start working with cars? Why didn't he contact me?
Fuck.
I got out the car.
Edward was underneath a Porsche, I could see his legs and the black and blue shoes he also wore.
Garrett smiled at me as I walked over.
My heart was racing.
'Hey Bells.' Garrett greeted me.
There was a loud smack underneath the car and we both looked down worriedly.
Mas-Edward pushed himself out from under the car, rubbing his head.
'Hi.' I said softly.
Bright green eyes met mine and my stomach lurched.
How the fuck did I not recognise him.
Those eyes were the same eyes that narrowed angrily as he shoved Billy Noxi in the playground for biting me when we were 7.
That glowed triumphantly when we managed to break into the chocolate stash his mum has in the pantry when we were 10.
The same eyes that glistened with unshed tears when I collapsed in his arms screaming for my auntie.
Fuck.
He averted his gaze and ignored me, talking to Garrett instead.
For the next hour I worked solidly with Garrett while Edward stayed under the car, re-wiring the accelerator.
Garrett talked the whole time and I found myself loosening up and laughing at his stories.
'Mason will show you how to fix the fuel pump and then you guys can hammer out this right side where the guy crashed into a pollard.' He told me after we'd finished replacing the battery.
'What didn't this guy do to the car.' I grumbled.
I heard Edward laugh for about two seconds before it stopped abruptly.
I lay down on the pulley and scooted my way back to where Edward was lying.
I took in a shaky breath as my eyes locked with his.
His cheeks were tinged with pink from the heat and his thick black lashes brushed his cheeks as he blinked at me.
He was gorgeous.
He was Edward.
An ache spread from under my ribs.
The urge to bury my head into his chest and grip him tightly rushed through me.
He was all I had left from my life before.
'Edward.' I breathed.
His eyes flashed with several emotions all at once and then he turned his head abruptly staring up at the car.
'Watch.' He commanded in a rough tone.
'Can we talk?' I asked him, reaching to touch his hand as he pulled the wiring down.
Electricity sparked through where I was touching him and he turned to look at me sharply.
'No.' He stated firmly, glaring at me.
'But I-'
'I have nothing to say to you. You figured it out…go you. It only took you fucking months. What you want me to clap you on the back and say congratulations? We're not friends, I don't give a fuck about you. So can we just get on with the fucking job?'
I gaped at him as a sharp stinging sensation occurred behind my eyes.
He stared at me angrily for a moment before jerking away, continuing working on the car.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to focus on what he was doing.
X
'I'm so fucking tired.' I complained as I fell facedown on Jasper's bed sighing heavily.
Edward hadn't said a single word to me for the rest of the shift.
Not a single fucking word.
I couldn't even complain to Garrett because the jackass worked so slowly and meticulously with the wiring that I followed it perfectly and managed to answer Garrett's questions easily when he quizzed me on the process.
What did you expect Bella?
Another sigh escaped my mouth, catching in my throat as warm fingers trailed gently down the back of my arm and then drifted across my lower back where my T-shirt had ridden up.
Mmm.
Goosebumps rose across my skin with a pleasant tingling sensation and I hummed.
The fingers drifted lower, gently passing over the swell of my ass and I smiled into the duvet.
I felt Jasper straddle my legs from behind, his thumbs rubbing circles into my lower back.
'Mmm that feels so good.' I moaned appreciatively, sinking further into the bed.
Heat spread through my abdomen, building between my thighs.
'Did you have a good shift?' Jasper asked softly, moving his thumbs further up my spine, pushing my T-shirt higher.
'Not really.' I brought my arms up under my head and rested my chin on top of them, my eyes closing at the sensation of Jasper's large hands on my skin.
His mouth brushed my ear and I shivered, my toes clenching.
'Hmm want to talk about it?' His southern drawl in my ear made the muscles in my lower stomach coil tightly.
I shivered as I felt his nose trace a line from my ear to my throat.
He kissed my neck, his lips soft against my skin.
Jasper's hands drifted higher up my bare back, every stroke of his fingers on my skin causing tendrils of heat to spread down my spine, settling between my legs.
'N-no.' I stuttered, gasping as he nipped at my lobe and then sucked it into his mouth.
Mmm fuck.
Jasper kissed my neck teasingly, his lips warm as they brushed against my throat.
I moaned as his hands drifted to the sides of my back under my T-shirt, his fingers barely brushing the sides of my breasts.
My lower stomach tightened, an ache rising in the pit of my stomach.
We hadn't had a chance to have sex since I dropped the bombshell that I'd slept with someone else.
'Is there anything I can do to make you feel better baby?' He asked teasingly. His body shifted and I moaned as I felt him, thick and hard, pressing against my ass.
I arched my back to rub against him and he groaned softly, his fingers digging into my sides.
'I can think of a few things.' I said huskily.
Jasper laughed in a deep husky tone that made my panties instantly damp.
I could feel the vibrations of his laugh through my body and the sensation of his hard cock against my ass was driving me crazy.
'Oh yeah?' Jasper cooed in my ear, his voice rough.
'Jasper.' I panted.
He started placing hot, open mouthed kisses down the back of my neck, 'What kind of things darlin'?'
'Fuck.' I gasped.
I felt him smile against my skin. 'We can fuck baby. Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you?'
He rubbed himself against me and I arched my back, my clit throbbing.
'Mmm yes.' I moaned.
Jasper's large hands gripped my ass in my leggings.
'I love these.' He practically purred.
'Take them off.' I whined impatiently.
'If you insist.' Jasper teased, nipping at my neck.
I felt the warmth of his body leave mine as he moved himself backwards.
'Fuck.' I yelped as I felt the sharp sting of his teeth in my ass.
He chuckled and I turned my head to glance at him accusingly.
There was a playful smirk at his mouth but his eyes were dark and his cheeks slightly flushed.
I bit my lip and Jasper lifted an eyebrow up as his thumbs hooked into the waistband of my leggings and pulled them down, revealing my bright blue thong.
His eyes darkened further as he ran a hand over the swell of my ass.
'I love your ass.' He said huskily, squeezing it gently.
I watched enraptured as his tongue flicked out to wet his bottom lip.
My hips shifted impatiently and Jasper hummed, snapping the elastic of my thong against my skin.
'Fuck.' I muttered, breathing heavily.
I closed my eyes gasping as I felt his tongue flick across my left cheek.
His warm hands drifted across the curve of my ass, his fingers brushing tantilisingly close to my aching centre.
I was just about to tell him to fucking touch me already when I felt his fingers slipping under my thong.
With a tug he pulled it down my thighs, gripping my leggings on the way down and removing both articles of clothing, leaving me naked from the waist down.
I shivered as his large hands spread my legs, tracing up the back of my thighs.
'So fuckin' sexy.' Jasper groaned.
I tried to turn around but his hands gripped my hips firmly.
'Nuh-uh. You stay right there.' He said huskily.
'Fuck.' I shivered.
There was something so naughty about being on my stomach with his hands touching me like this.
I whimpered as his fingers brushed the tops of my thighs and then skirted the place I wanted them most.
'Jasper.' I panted. 'Please.'
He groaned softly. 'Please what baby?'
His fingers teased me again and I shuddered.
'Touch me.'
My whole body jolted as I felt his fingers brush across my bikini line and then run down my slit.
Jasper groaned, low in his throat. 'Mm you're so fuckin' wet.'
I cried out as he slid a finger inside of me, my hips pressing back against him, desperate for more.
'Please Jas, don't tease, I need you.' I panted, trying to turn over again.
He let me this time and I shivered as I looked up at him, his eyes hooded with desire.
I leant up on my forearms just as he bent down and our mouth clashed together fiercely.
Oh fuck.
Jasper groaned, one hand sliding into my hair, the other slipping under my back and pressing me up into him.
My hands slid up his back under his T-shirt, his hot skin burning my palms.
That shirt has to go now.
I started tugging it up over his head and he knelt back between my legs, grabbing the hem and pulling it the rest of the way off.
I bit my lip as I stared at his tight, muscled body.
Every single part of him was ripped. He'd been training so hard and eating well for the past few weeks and it fucking showed.
'Jesus.' I said throatily.
Jasper licked his lips as he looked down at me. 'I prefer Jasper.'
I giggled at him and he winked at me.
I placed a palm on his abs, shivering as I felt his hot skin. His stomach tensed under my fingertips.
Jasper groaned as my hand slid lower, palming the impressive bulge in his shorts.
He was so hard.
His blue eyes burned into mine so full of lust it made my heart hammer in my chest.
'Come. Here.' Jasper ordered, his voice thick with lust.
I sat up and he practically ripped my T-shirt off, leaving me in my black sports bra.
His hand knitted into my hair as he tugged me close and our lips met passionately, tongues sliding against each other.
He groaned into my mouth as I clambered on top of him, his hands moving behind him to rest on the bed as we fell backwards slightly.
I grabbed the back of his head with my hand, sucking his lower lip into my mouth and moaning as he bucked his hips up, pressing his erection right against my throbbing core.
He broke the kiss and I tilted my head back breathing heavily as his mouth fell on my neck, placing hot, open mouthed kisses that made me ache with desire.
I whimpered as his mouth descended to my breasts, gasping as his teeth tugged at my bra cup.
He shifted our weight, taking one hand from behind him to slide up my front and unclip the front clasp, revealing my breasts.
They felt heavy with arousal, my nipples tight buds.
'Mm.' Jasper growled softly, 'Look how fuckin' sexy you are baby.'
I groaned as his lips captured one of aching nipples, sucking it into his warm, wet mouth.
'Fuck, Jasper.' I gasped, writhing my hips.
I shuddered as his warm hand cupped my other breast, his thumb and index finger tugging at the turgid peak as he swirled his tongue over the other.
My eyes fluttered as pleasure ricocheted through me.
I circled my hips over him and was rewarded by a groan deep that made my lower stomach clench.
The vibrations made my skin tingle from where his mouth was wrapped around my nipple.
He released my peak with a pop and then moved to the other one, his hand deftly switching to massage the other peak.
'Fuck, Jasper, you're killing me.' I whined.
He started kissing up my chest again and I moaned into his mouth as he pressed his lips against mine, his tongue swirling in my mouth.
I rocked my hips over his, my body shuddering and felt Jasper smirk against my lips.
His palm slid down my stomach and he shifted me back onto his thighs a little as his fingers pushed inside me, his thumb circling my clit.
'Ugh, fuck.' I gasped, tearing my mouth from his as my hand went to grab his thickly muscled shoulder.
Jasper groaned softly, his fingers curling inside of me. 'So fucking tight and wet. You like it when I fuck you with my fingers darlin'?'
'Jesus Jas-per.' I whimpered. 'So good.'
'Mm that's it beautiful girl, I want you to cum for me. Fuck you look so sexy right now, I want you on my cock.'
My eyes rolled back in my head. 'God please, I want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me.'
'Mmm.' Jasper groaned. 'Fuck. I can feel you baby, you gonna cum?'
'Kiss me.' I gasped, 'Please, so close.'
I was practically riding his fingers, my head thrown back in ecstasy.
I shuddered as Jasper leant forwards and captured my lips. It was a slow, passionate kiss, his tongue running along the length of mine and making my whole body tingle with pleasure.
He tasted so good, I couldn't get enough of him.
I was right on the brink, my whole body coiled up, ready to tip over the edge.
Jasper groaned into my mouth as I clenched down on his fingers.
He pulled back and looked at me, his blue eyes burning with desire.
'Cum for me. Right fuckin' now.'
His fingers curled inside of me and I cried out, my whole body shuddering as my pleasure peaked.
'Fuck.'
I was vaguely aware of Jasper moaning as I spasmed in his arms, my nails digging in to his shoulder.
Jasper's lips met mine in a burning kiss as I started to come down again and I shuddered as his fingers slid out of me.
He pulled back, licking his lower lip before taking his fingers into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he tasted me.
'Jasper.' I whimpered.
'You taste so good darlin'.' He said throatily, his eyes hooded.
I attacked him, pushing him back to the bed as I kissed him fiercely.
He groaned into my mouth, grabbing the back of my head with his large head as he captured my bottom lip between his teeth.
I pulled back and started kissing down his neck, my tongue running across his skin.
I smiled as I felt him shudder and he made a noise in the back of his throat when I bit his nipple gently.
Jasper arched up off the bed, his eyes stormy as my hands ran down his stomach, tracing the idents of his abs.
I sat up, straddling his thighs and looking down at him. His large warm hands gripped my hips, his eyes devouring my naked body.
He looked so fucking good.
I shivered.
'Bella.' He said throatily.
My heart started hammering in my chest as our eyes locked and something in my chest lurched.
I broke the eye contact, my lips kissing across the top of his stomach as my hands drifted lower, tracing the V in his hips.
He groaned, his hands releasing my hips, one tangling in my hair as I undid his zipper.
He was so fucking hard.
I traced my tongue across his abs, shivering at the low groan he made.
He arched his hips up off the bed as I licked lower, nipping at his hip bone.
'Fuck, don't tease.' He pleaded, his voice husky with need.
I peeked up at him from under my eyelashes and shivered at the look in his eyes.
I tugged his jeans down, along with his black boxers, biting my lip as his cock sprung up, brushing against my breasts.
'Jasper.' I moaned softly, gripping him in my hand.
His skin was so hot and he was deliciously thick and heavy in my palm.
He made a noise in the back of his throat as I lowered my mouth to him, flicking my tongue across the tip to capture the salty bead of moisture that rested there.
I looked at him from under my eyelashes as I slowly took him into my mouth.
'Fuck baby, mmm.' Jasper groaned, his hips bucking up.
I took him deeper, hollowing my cheeks and swirling my tongue across the head as I got to the top.
'Holy fuck.' Jasper snarled. 'God damn baby you look so fucking good with my cock in your mouth. Ugh feels so good.' The low timbre of his voice made me shiver and I shifted my hips, rubbing myself against his thigh as fresh arousal pooled between my legs.
Jasper groaned, his thigh pushing up into me and making me whimper. 'Fuck. You're so fuckin' wet, god I want to be inside of you baby. I need to fuck you.'
His hand tightened in my hair as I took him so deep I almost gagged.
'Mm.' He growled. 'Fuck. Get up here right fuckin' now.'
I released him from my mouth with a pop and he sat up suddenly, grabbing my waist and flipping our bodies, leaving me panting underneath him.
His mouth met mine, hot and wet and I wrapped my thighs around his torso, shuddering at the feel of him, smooth and hard, pressed against my stomach.
His whole body was pressed against mine, I could feel the ridge of every muscle, burning into my skin.
The ache between my legs was almost painful.
'Jasper.' I moaned as he nipped my neck. 'Please.'
I felt him grin against my skin and then he was moving off me his hands scrabbling in the drawer by his bed.
I giggled softly as he appeared above me again, holding a foil packet between his teeth.
He waggled his eyebrows and I leaned up, biting the aluminium and taking it from his mouth.
He laughed, his eyes lighting up as his lips curved at one side.
God he was so beautiful.
I felt that strange lurching sensation in my gut again and I swallowed, my hands reaching up to grab the foil from my mouth.
Jasper pulled back from me, kneeling between my legs and held out his hand.
'Ma'am.' He teased.
I handed it to him, laughing as he made a show about ripping it open, winking at me.
'Jasper.' I whined, shifting my hips impatiently. 'Stop messing around.'
His eyes darkened, his lips curving up in a wicked smile. 'Believe me darlin', I'm going to fuck you six ways to Sunday.'
I shivered as he slid the latex on himself, his fist rising up and down his cock slowly.
Mmmm.
His fingers pushed inside me, twisting in a way that made my back arch up off the bed.
'Mm. You're so wet beautiful. Do you want my cock?' He asked huskily.
'Yes.' I whimpered.
He spread my thighs, moving between them so our lower bodies aligned.
I shuddered as I felt his swollen head, pressing against my soaking centre.
He hissed, placing his hands either side of my head.
I grabbed his shoulders, one leg hooking around his slim hips.
His bent his head and started kissing up my neck and my throat.
'You're so beautiful.' He murmured softly, 'So fucking gorgeous.'
He lifted his head and stared into my eyes.
My heart started slamming against my ribcage and I grabbed his jaw gently, smoothing my thumb over his cheek.
His eyes were as bottomless as the ocean and looked startingly blue against his tanned skin and thick black lashes.
We stared at each other for a moment, breathing heavily.
I leant up and kissed him.
The minute our lips touched I felt a fire spreading from the pit of my belly, all the way to my toes.
A renewed desire flooded my limbs and suddenly I was kissing him like he was air and I couldn't breathe.
Jasper responded just as fiercely, one of his hands cupping my cheeks as our mouths moved together.
He shifted his hips forward slightly and my whole body shuddered as the head of him pushed inside me.
Jasper broke the kiss, his head dropping to my shoulder as he groaned.
'Oh god, baby.' He panted.
I pressed him closer with the leg that was around his hip and we both moaned as he pushed deeper, every nerve in my body tingling at the feel of him spreading me wide.
'Jasper.' I moaned, arching my back as he paused, fully inside of me, his hips pressed against mine.
'Jesus fucking Christ.' Jasper growled. 'Ugh Bella, you feel so fuckin' good baby.'
Our lips met in a violent clash of teeth and tongues as he drew his hips back and then pushed inside of me again.
'Ugh, fuck.' I gasped, tearing my mouth from his and wrapping my hands around his strong back, shuddering at the feel of his muscles rippling as he fucked me.
So fucking good.
One of his hands slid down my side, gripping my other thigh and pulling it around his waist. We both groaned at the change in angle and I crossed my ankles, rocking my hips against his to meet his thrusts.
Jasper's hand left my leg and came to rest on the other side of my head as he pushed inside me with slow deep strokes.
'God.' I whimpered, my back arching off the bed. 'So. Good.'
He swivelled his hips and my nails sunk into his skin. I could feel myself clenching down on him and he groaned softly.
'Mm right there darlin'?'
My eyes rolled back in my head as he did it again. 'Fuck yes.'
'God baby you're so damn wet.' Jasper hissed.
I unhooked my ankles, my legs falling apart so I could drive my hips up better, meeting him thrust for thrust.
He made a noise in the back of his throat, straightening his arms out either side of my head and lifting his body from me, as he rocked into me.
I shivered, 'Oh fuck.'
That angle was so good.
So, fucking good.
His pelvis was rubbing right against my throbbing clit and every thrust was sending me closer and closer to falling over the edge.
'Mmm.' Jasper growled as my body spasmed around his cock. 'You gonna cum for me darlin'?'
I babbled something unintelligible in response.
My mouth was too busy hanging open in pleasure to form words.
Jasper dropped to his forearms, his lips capturing mine in a slow, deep kiss.
I whimpered into his mouth, my nails digging into his back.
He kissed across my jaw to my ear and bit the lobe softly.
'Mm that's it baby.' He cooed. 'I want to feel you cum all over my cock.'
I threw my head back, a series of loud moans tearing from my throat as I saw stars, my vision going blurry as my whole body shook.
'Ugh, fuck.' Jasper growled, slamming into me harder.
I stared up at him, my body still shaking from the after affects of my orgasm.
He looked so fucking hot like this, his mouth slightly open in pleasure, eyes hooded, cheeks pink from exertion.
Oh god.
I felt a wave of intense lust rock through me, making my body shiver.
'God you feel so good inside me baby.' I panted.
Jasper groaned low in his throat.
'Ugh, fuck.'
I kissed him, moaning into his mouth as he started circling his hips. I pulled back, my whole body arching as another spasm rocked through me.
The thick drag of him inside of me was driving me crazy, every thrust sending new jolts of pleasure down my spine.
'Fuck.' I murmured throatily, 'I want you to cum inside me.'
'Shit.' Jasper hissed, his eyes dark as he gazed down at me.
'Please.' I whimpered.
'I want you to cum again first.' He groaned, his head tilting back slightly in pleasure.
'Fuck okay, let me go on top.' I gasped.
He slid out of me, holding my hips as he rolled onto his back, lifting me at the same time.
I straddled him, biting my lip as I placed a hand on his chest and slowly sank down onto him.
His eyes rolled back into his head and I moaned.
'Oh god, Jasper.' I panted, rocking my hips over him.
His fingers dug into my hips tighter as his mouth fell open, his eyes drifting down my body to where my tits bounced.
'Jesus, you look so good like this baby.' He groaned.
I started slamming my hips down harder and he hissed, 'That's it baby, ride my fuckin' cock.'
'Fuck.' I moaned, leaning forward to place my hands on the wall, using it to help me balance as I rode him.
I cried out as his warm fingers found my clit, rubbing in quick, small circles that made my whole body shudder in pleasure.
'Jesus I'm so close.' He growled, his other hand squeezing my hip hard as he slammed me down onto him, his lower body driving up hard to meet my thrusts.
'Jasper!' I practically yelled, my head falling back.
My moans were ridiculously loud, bordering on screams, I was so close.
Thank god no one was home…
I slammed myself down on him, placing my hands either side of his head to get more traction.
'Oh fuck.' Jasper groaned. 'Just like that baby, fuck.'
'I'm gonna fucking cum.' I screamed as a wave of pleasure started building in my abdomen.
'Shit, I can feel it.' Jasper roared, 'God Bella, fuck.'
My back arched as the pleasure kept building, reaching a crescendo that made me scream so loud my throat burned.
I could feel Jasper holding my hips tightly against him through his own release.
When my body stopped shaking, I collapsed to Jasper's chest, breathing heavily, my heart thundering in my ears.
We were both breathing heavily and I could feel the rapid beat of his heart against my chest.
I felt his arms wrap around my back and the vibrations of a chuckle in his chest.
'Fuck.' He said softly.
I lifted my head to gaze at him and he grabbed my jaw, placing a sweet kiss on my mouth.
I moaned softly, my body feeling like jelly.
He pulled back and smiled softly at me, his eyes glittering.
'God I'm so tired.' I murmured, dropping my head into his neck and snuggling there.
His hands gently ran up my back as he hummed, placing a kiss on my head.
I closed my eyes, breathing him in.
Being in his arms like this felt so good.
Jasper started talking about going to get some food, but his voice sounded really far away.
'Imma stay here.' I yawned.
I didn't hear what he said next.
I was fast asleep.
X
The next few days passed in a blur. I spent most of my time at Jasper's, his parents were on some ski retreat, apparently something they do this time every year.
Fucking rich people.
Part of me felt guilty for staying away from home, I knew leaving Renee was risky, it's just…god I was so over her mood swings.
She was constantly up and down and it was exhausting.
Despite staying at his house, I saw Jasper less and less as his swim practice doubled.
He was training for over 5 hours a day and I spent a lot of the time at his house by myself, curled up on his bed and doing homework or lying by his pool after school.
Everyone joined us for the weekend, and we all, with the exception of Jasper who only had a few beers, got fucking trashed on both Friday and Saturday.
Paul had thankfully not brought a girl with him, but even though we interacted normally as a group, he was even more distant than he had been before and whenever I tried to talk to him on my own he'd just make an excuse and leave.
He was fucking infuriating.
School was even worse because he barely spoke to me in class and he was absent from our lunch table for the most part, except when he'd swagger up in the last 5 minutes, his eyes slightly dilated and hair ruffled from some girl's hands.
I'd taken to pretending to have headaches just so I could glare into my hands at the fucking sight of him.
Underneath all the irritation I just missed him.
I was hurt by his behaviour and confused. He was so hot and cold with me. One-minute acting like he cared about me and our friendship, the next ignoring me like I was nothing.
It was giving me whiplash.
'Big party on Saturday at Jake's.' Emmett said excitedly.
We were sitting outside on the grass, soaking up the sunshine. I had sacrificed using the break to sneak in a cigarette, choosing to spend the 20 minutes with Jasper instead.
He was grateful from the way he kissed me when he walked over and saw me sitting on my blue hoodie.
Rose shot Emmett a worried glance, probably wondering if his mom would be well enough to stay at home by herself.
'Em, are you sure you can…' She asked him softly.
His face flashed with pain for a brief second, the mask of optimism cracking momentarily, then it was back, a large smile back on his face.
My heart ached for him. He wasn't even faking the smile, that was just Emmett, trying so hard to stay positive and happy, even though he had every reason not to be.
'Yeah, it'll be fun.' He told her, kissing her cheek sweetly.
She nodded and I smiled at her encouragingly.
'I'm in, will be nice to have a brief moment of celebration before it's back to the grind.' Jasper said, his thumb stroking the inside of my wrist.
I was sitting in between his legs, resting my back against his chest.
He had his competition on Friday, which was two days away. He was giving himself the Saturday till the Monday off before he started preparing for the next one, which was 5 days later.
I shrugged. I didn't care either way.
'Do you reckon Paul is going?' Embry asked, yawning and setting us all off.
Jasper's fingers tickled my sides as I stretched and I giggled, snatching his hand off my ribs.
'Probably.' Jasper drawled, taking my hand and kissing it softly.
I smiled, resting a hand on his thigh.
'He won't miss out the chance to hook up with fresh meat. He's already worked his way through everyone decent here.' Jasper continued, laughing softly.
I grimaced, feeling my stomach twist.
Ugh. On second thought I don't want to go at all.
I looked up and Rose was looking at me with an intrigued expression.
I frowned at her and she glanced away, picking at some grass.
'Good because I'm sick of being the fifth wheel.' Embry groaned. 'Bella and Jasper are like fucking rabbits and you two are so soppy it makes me feel sick.' He winked to soften his words and Emmett laughed.
'I think you mean fucking like rabbits.' Jasper said conspiratorially.
I elbowed him, fighting a smile as the others grimaced.
'Did you see him mauling Kate against her locker earlier.' Embry continued, rolling his eyes. 'I'm surprised he hasn't had a detention. He basically had his hand up her skirt.'
The others laughed and I forced a smile on my face, not finding it funny in the slightest.
Emmett started launching into a recount of when he caught Paul last week coming out of the girls toilets with Hannah about 5 seconds before a teacher walked past and I stood up, kissing Jasper and grabbing my stuff. He looked up at me curiously and I smiled at him, 'Bell's about to go and I need to pee before class.' I explained.
Also, I don't want to hear about Paul fucking anyone because it makes me feel like I can't breathe. I added silently.
It's probably because he's ignoring me but paying attention to other people, I told myself.
I got to class a few minutes early and threw my books on the table in front of me, glancing at Paul's empty desk on my left. He'd probably arrive soon with lipstick on his neck, his hair all scruffy from fucking some slut in the bathroom.
I gripped my pen tightly at the thought.
I was so fucking mad at him I could stab this pen right into his goddamn eye.
What is it with the men in my life and fucking ignoring me?
Edward, Paul, Charlie…
Paul strolled up, sitting down heavily, his legs falling open as he drummed his fingers on his desk.
That was a fucking annoying noise.
I scowled at him. There was a shadow across his neck, and I narrowed my eyes, confused.
Is that a fucking hickie?
My pen snapped, ink splattering everywhere.
'Fuck.' I groaned.
Paul turned to me in shock, his brown eyes widening as he looked at the ink covering my hand and my once plain white T-shirt.
He made a choked noise, forcing his mouth into a line and I glared at him.
'So, you can't talk to me, but you can laugh at me. Fucking brilliant.' I snapped.
Paul's shoulder's bobbed and then he burst into laughter, throwing his head back.
I watched him, a large smile forming on my face automatically.
He hadn't laughed like that for ages, not with me anyway.
I felt a deep pang in my chest and my smile fell.
There was a sting behind my eyes and a lump in my throat.
Oh no you don't Bellla.
I stood up abruptly, gathering my stuff.
Paul sat up straight in his seat looking at me worriedly but I ignored him.
'Miss Swan?'
I rolled my eyes, gesturing to the ink that was covering me and Mr. Lovett sighed. 'Right then, off you go.'
I stormed out the classroom, not glancing back.
X
'You're here early.' Garett raised an eyebrow at me.
'Only by 5 hours.' I said innocently.
I'd gone straight from the classroom to my car and driven here.
Thankfully I had a spare work T-shirt and I'd been wearing shorts and converse anyway.
Garrett frowned, his brown eyes full of concern as he studied me.
'You okay kid?'
I nodded.
He sighed, gesturing to the car in the bay with his head.
'Alright, Mace was supposed to do this, but you can if you want, he's just in the office filling in an order for new tires, you know this guy rinses the gearbox every single goddamn time he…'
I got under the car and got to work, throwing myself into the difficult process of wiring the new piece in.
I was so lost in what I was doing I jumped a mile when I turned to my left and saw Edward under the car too, his emerald eyes fixed on me.
'Fuck.' I muttered, rubbing my head where I'd hit the bottom of the car. 'What do you want Edward?' I asked tiredly.
He frowned at me. 'Just wanted to check you knew what you were doing.'
His words weren't said harshly but they still stung, making me feel inadequate.
'I'm not a fucking idiot, I know what I'm doing.' I snapped, ashamed at the prickling sensation that started in my eyes.
Edward looked startled, his green eyes wide as they surveyed me. 'I know.'
'Whatever. I'm fine so you can go.' I said sharply, turning away from him and carrying on.
He didn't move.
'Why aren't you in school?' He said after a moment.
'Why aren't you?' I snapped, turning to face him again.
He studied me, his eyes searching mine. 'I dropped out.'
What?
I couldn't hide the surprise that surely showed on my face.
How the fuck had Ella let him get away with that?
The tip of my tongue burned with questions but I couldn't be bothered to deal with his biting responses so I ignored him, turning back to the roof of the car while my hands deftly screwed in the box.
I turned to my side to reach for the smaller screwdriver and was surprised to see it right in front of me, in Edward's hand.
I stared at it, not taking it from him.
He frowned at me, 'I knew you needed it next.'
I huffed irritated. 'Edward, I don't need your help. Just fuck off. You've made it perfectly clear you don't want anything to do with me so just fucking go. I can handle this myself.'
He flinched, his jaw twitching as his eyes darkened to an angry jade.
'What is your fucking problem today?' He snapped.
'You.' I replied harshly, snatching the screwdriver from him. 'So, fuck off.'
'You are unbelievable.' He seethed.
'What? I'm not allowed to be an asshole to you?' I glared at him. 'I'm just following your fucking example. What's with the sudden interest anyway, I've been trying to talk to you for days.'
'We're talking now aren't we?' Edward muttered angrily.
I squeezed my eyes shut. 'No Edward. Fucking forget it, just leave me alone.'
I heard him huff loudly. 'Fine. We can talk. After work. Will you stop being a raging bitch now?'
My eyes sprung open, an angry retort on my tongue, but it faded when I saw his eyes, wide and curious as they stared at me.
'You mean it?'
He rolled his eyes. 'Yeah. If it'll make you calm down.'
'Okay.' I said softly. He looked away sharply.
X
Garett let us leave at 5pm with a grin, warning me not to skip school again.
I babbled about having a free period and Garett rolled his eyes at me and told me not to lie to him or he'd make me hammer out every single bent piece of metal that came into the garage.
I smiled sheepishly and he squeezed my shoulder and told me to get lost.
On the way out, Edward dropped into the office.
I lingered outside awkwardly, leaning against the wall.
I could hear Carlisle talking in hushed tones and moved closer, curious.
'You know you can come back, both of you.'
'No sir, thank you, but that's alright.' Edward replied politely.
'Mason please, just think about, for Alice's sake if not yours.'
'Alice is staying at her friend's house, she's okay.'
'And what about you?'
'I'm…I'm fine, I'm staying at a friend's house too.'
'Are you sure? At least come to dinner on Friday night. We're worried about you.'
'Thank you for everything Mr. Cullen but we're fine. I promise.'
Carlisle protested for a moment but then the phone started ringing.
'I'll see you tomorrow Mason, don't forget Friday!'
Edward grunted a response and then walked out the building, his eyes meeting mine instantly.
For a moment they were wide and open, and I saw a flash of my Edward.
Then it was gone, and he was glaring at me.
'Did you overhear that?'
I nodded stiffly. No point lying.
'Of course you did.' He said under his breath.
'I didn't really, get it.' I told him honestly, raising an eyebrow.
'Good.' He said sharply. 'Come with me.'
He started walking and I followed him, 'Where are we going?'
'Somewhere to talk.' He said, his voice slightly shaky, as though he was nervous.
'Um, like where? Your house?' I said hopefully.
I would love to see Edward's mom. Ella was more of a mom to me than Renee ever was.
'No.' He snapped.
'O-kay.' I said, sighing. 'Edward maybe this is a bad-'
He stopped and spun to look at me.
I gulped and he sighed, running a hand down his face. 'I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a…I said we'd talk. I…I want to talk. I need to understand…look, just come with me okay? There's this place I like to go to clear my head. We can take my bike and I'll drop you back here after.'
'Okay.' I said softly, staring up at him and biting my lip.
Edward's eyes flicked down to it and he swallowed before averting his eyes.
'Okay.' He repeated.
When we got to his bike he lifted up the back and pulled out two helmet's, passing one to me.
I shivered with anticipation.
I'd never actually been on a motorbike.
I grabbed the helmet he gave me and placed it over my head.
Then came the hard part.
The strap.
I sighed exasperatedly and Edward turned from his bike to look at me.
He choked out a laugh, his green eyes glimmering with amusement, a smile playing at his mouth.
'You haven't been on a bike before Sparrow?' He asked, raising an eyebrow.
My heart raced at the use of my nickname.
It never used to have that effect on me when we were kids.
'No.' I said, shrugging.
'A bad girl like you. I'm surprised.' He commented, leaning in to strap the helmet.
I was glad the visor was open, I would have felt weird being completely shut off.
Edward leaned closer, exhaling softly against my mouth as he fixed the helmet on my head and I shivered.
God what was that.
His breath was minty and slightly musky.
It made my stomach clench and my breath catch in my throat.
His fingers brushed my neck and electricity shot through me.
He paused, looking down at his hand and I wondered if he felt it too.
'All done.' He said gruffly, pulling back.
'Thanks.' I said shakily, averting my eyes from him. 'Um, do I get on?'
Edward laughed, 'Just wait for me to get on Bella and then you get on behind me.'
'Kay.' I said, my hands wringing together.
Nervousness and anticipation rushed through me making goosebumps appear on my skin.
I was excited about riding the bike, but suddenly the idea of being alone with Edward seemed kind of intimidating and scary.
He wasn't the person I knew.
His eyes scanned mine for a second before he sighed softly. 'Come on Sparrow, I won't bite you, I promise.' He straddled the bike and gestured with his head. 'Hop on.'
Suddenly I kind of wanted him to bite me, seeing him straddle that thing was…
My knees felt a little weak and I swallowed before stepping up to it and climbing on behind him, my hands resting tentatively at his hips.
Edward scoffed softly, grabbing my wrists and wrapping them tightly around his waist, pulling me so my chest was pressed snugly up against his back.
My heart started hammering in my chest. Wow. I could feel the hard indents of his stomach muscles against my arms and his body was burning through the cotton of his T-shirt.
'You'll fall off otherwise.' He said, his voice suddenly husky.
I inhaled shakily against the back of his neck and Edward stiffened.
'Right.' I replied, fighting the urge to explore the dense muscles I could feel under the thin material of his T-shirt.
I felt his arm tense and then the bike was rumbling to life underneath us.
I gasped at the feel of the metal vibrating between my thighs, tightening my arms around Edward as a tingle went down my spine.
I was suddenly so warm.
Way too warm.
Hot even.
'Fuck.' I said out loud.
'It's amazing isn't it.' Edward said over the purring of the bike, misunderstanding the curse for one of excitement over the bike.
God Bella what are you doing…stop it, you can't be attracted to him. It's Edward.
I forced down the part of me that wanted him to fuck me on the bike and tried to focus on breathing steadily.
'Let's go.' I said, my voice sounding extremely breathy.
I felt Edward's muscles contract in his stomach and then we were surging forwards.
I let out an exhilarated laugh, tucking my chin on his shoulder as we zoomed forward.
Edward laughed too, his stomach tightening from the action.
Again, I was hit with surprise at how I hadn't recognised the laugh before.
It was deeper but it was the same.
I sighed softly.
I was an idiot. And I didn't know if he was going to forgive me for not knowing it was him.
To my surprise we came off down the path to the nature reserve.
'No fucking way. You come here?' I exclaimed.
'Yeah.' Edward replied, pulling up into a parking bay. 'You been here?'
'I like it here.' I stated, extricating myself from him and stepping off the bike after he kicked his foot down and it stood by itself.
I shifted as I suddenly became aware that my panties were completely drenched.
Edward noticed, his eyes flicking down my body and a smirk playing at his full lips.
Yep, definitely not the same person.
The knowledge made my chest ache and I stood up straighter.
'So, do you want to talk in the carpark or are we going to actually go in?'
Edward's eyes were a deeper shade of green and strangely guarded as he nodded at me. 'Yeah, come on.'
We walked down the path.
I kept starting to say something and then chickening out and settled for biting my lip.
Edward kept walking and I gaped in surprise as we got to the playground and he sat down on a swing.
'What?' He asked me, raising an eyebrow.
'Nothing.' I swallowed. 'Just…this is my favourite spot too.'
I sat in the swing next to him, kicking back so the swing rocked forwards and backwards.
'I don't really know what to say, now we're here.' I admitted, keeping my eyes on the water in front of us.
We were silent for a moment.
I turned to him, 'How's your mom?'
Edward's face darkened. 'Are you fucking kidding me?
'What?' I asked confused.
He glared at me incredulously.
'What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know why I fucking bothered to come here. Forget it.'
He got up so quickly the chains on the swing made a harsh squeaking sound.
I was on my feet seconds later.
'What the fuck?' I said angrily. 'How are you freaking out at me like this for asking one fucking question. I don't get you at all! And I don't get why you're so angry at me. I should be angry at you. You never bothered to contact me, this whole time. You told me we were done and my whole world came crashing down and you didn't care.' I'm practically screaming and Edward's face is full of fury when he turns back towards me.
'You're mad at me? Your world came crashing down? What about fucking my world Bella? You self-absorbed bitch.'
'My dad was fucking Tanya!' I shouted. 'My fucking friend.'
'So. Fucking. What.' He growled, 'That gives you the right to fucking abandon me when I needed you the most?'
'You were the one who said you didn't want to friends with me anymore, not me.' I shouted. 'Even then, I still told Renee to give your mum my new number.'
Edward made a choking sound, 'Yeah, well considering she's fucking dead I don't think that worked out so well.'
'W-what?' I said gasping.
My vision blurred, hot tears pouring down my face.
Edward scowled at me, his eyes full of hate, 'Don't act fucking dumb. I know you knew.' He threw up his hands, glaring at me, 'I can't believe I was stupid enough to fucking think you'd apologise. I thought you wanted to talk to say fucking sorry. Not to fucking lie.'
'Edward, what happened?' I cried, grabbing his arm tightly. 'I didn't know, I swear.'
My chest felt like it was being constricted, like I couldn't breathe.
'I don't believe you.' He roared, 'Renee knew, Charlie knew. She sent some stupid fucking 'thoughts with you' card and he was at her fucking funeral.'
I felt like I'd been punched in the chest.
'What?' I gasped for air. 'She knew?'
Edward's eyes met mine, filled with tears. 'I lost everything. And you weren't fucking there.' He yelled. 'Don't fucking stand in front of me and cry about your cunt of a father sleeping with that slut and pretend your world came crashing down. Try having your father murder your mom. How's that for fucking betrayal. You don't know a fucking thing about loss.'
'I'm so sorry.' I said crying hysterically. 'Edward, I didn't know. I didn't know, please.'
I reached out for him but he flinched away, staring at me with so much hate my knees crumbled underneath me.
'I'm fucking done with you, I mean it. I'm going to ask Garrett if I can move to Susan's service. I can't be around someone like you. Fucking bitch.'
He stormed off without looking back and I fell to the floor, unable to see I was crying so hard.
X
There was a pain in my chest so deep that I felt like my rib cage had been ripped out of me.
I took a series of a shuddering breaths but I couldn't stop crying.
All I could see was the hate in Edward's eyes.
He should hate me.
His fucking mom died.
And I didn't even…
I started crying harder.
Ella…
I thought about her warm green eyes, her sweet smile.
And now she was gone.
And Edward was all alone.
I buried my face into my hands, crying hysterically.
When?
How did this happen?
She was murdered? By his dad?
I never even met him. He was just the absent dad.
Was he in prison now?
How did I not know any of this?
Edward's behaviour made perfect sense now. It was one thing when I didn't recognise him, he was pissed at me for that, but that was it.
When I realised who he was, he must have been waiting for me to say something and I fucking didn't.
But it was because I didn't fucking know.
I felt like there was a band across my chest.
I couldn't breathe.
Renee. She fucking lied to me. How could she not tell me?
The betrayal made my heart hurt.
What else had she lied to me about…
I can't go back to that fucking flat. I don't want to see her. I don't want to fucking know her.
Fuck. I can't do this. I can't feel this. It hurts too much.
My phone was in my hand, calling Aaron before I even realised it.
'B!' He drawled.
'Come meet me at the Nature Reserve by the swings.' I said, my voice husky from crying. 'Bring your strongest shit and a bottle of Jack.'
'B are you-
'Just fucking bring it Aaron.' I snapped, aware that he could probably hear me crying.
There was a pause. 'Okay doll. Be there in 10.'
I sat back down on the swing, my head in my hands.
I needed to make this go away.
I couldn't feel this.
I kept replaying the conversation, feeling the ache in my chest grow until I couldn't feel anything else.
'B.' I heard.
I looked up to see Aaron standing in front of me, a pair of raybans sitting on top of his golden dreadlocks.
His grey eyes surveyed me worriedly.
'Are you o-
'What have you got?' I interrupted him, tears still running down my face.
'What kinda thing you want doll?' He replied, placing his hands in his pockets.
'Something to make it all go away for a while.' I said, wiping my eyes.
He shrugged, 'I've got some good shit, but it'll cost you.'
'I don't have anything on me, but you know I'm good for it.' I pleaded.
He sighed, 'Bella.'
'Please Aaron.' I choked.
'Fuck. Okay.' He said, reaching in his coat and pulling out a baggie. 'This is the strongest shit I do. Don't fucking take more than one.'
'What is it?' I asked him, taking the bag gratefully.
'It's a special mix I make. Lucy, dash of angel dust and X. Don't take it till your inside it'll seriously fuck you up for a day or two.'
He grinned at me, 'I call it mindfuck.'
'Good.' I said, nodding. 'Thank you.' I was crying again, and Aaron grimaced.
'God damn B I've never seen you like this. What the fuck happened?'
'Don't act like you care A.' I replied giving him a watery smile. 'Where's the Jack?'
He pulled it out of his rucksack and placed it on the swing next to me.
He studied me, 'Don't fucking drink too much if you're takin' those B. Promise me you'll wait until your home and you won't take more than one.'
'Yeah, of course.' I lied.
He nodded and then walked off.
I waited till he was gone before I opened up the baggie. I balanced two pills in the palm of my hand and then threw them in my mouth washing them down with the whisky.
X
When the drug kicked in my vision kind of went haywire and I had to get off the swing and lie on the grass. I lifted my hand up to my eyes and laughed as I watched it blur.
'Wow.' I said out loud as I lifted up my other hand. I had seven fingers. Was that normal? No.
I giggled to myself. Maybe I'm dreaming. They do say that if you have extra fingers it's because you're asleep.
I don't know my own name and it's fucking delicious.
Are my eyes closed? It's dark all of a sudden.
Yes. Whoops.
I opened them.
The sky was on fire. Oh. Pretty.
I felt like it was moving closer to me.
I'm lying down. Or am I standing?
The floor was moving underneath me, and it was starting to make me feel a little uneasy.
My eyes widened as I saw a large animal flying towards me.
Oh my god. I started screaming.
Then I started laughing.
Then I felt nothing.
X
I was running from something, really fast. My heart was hammering in my chest. Something was coming for me. Really coming.
I collapsed on the floor, hiding behind a tree.
I was really scared. I needed him here with me. I took out my phone and called him.
'Hey.'
'They're coming for me, please help.' I said worriedly.
'What? Bella what's going on?
'These dark figures, they have knives for teeth and black eyes.' I said as I stared at them. 'I can't stop them.'
'Oh, for fuck's sake. Did you take something? Where the fuck are you?'
I laughed as the sky started falling in front of me. Then I got scared.
'Help.' I said panicking. 'The sky is falling and I'm going to…' Oh. I still had seven fingers. 'Oh, I think I'm dreaming.' I said excitedly. 'Am I asleep?'
'Bella where the fuck are you? I'm getting in my car right now. God I'm fucking…tell me where the fuck you are, right now.'
'I'm at the nature reserve.' I said confused. 'Where are you? If this is a dream, I can do anything.' I laughed.
'You're not fucking dreaming! Stay where you are, I'm coming.' The voice said. It sounded worried.
'What's wrong?' I said concerned. 'If I'm dreaming then why can't I control what's happening.'
'Bella, please baby, just, stay put okay. Don't move. Just sit down and keep talking to me.'
I placed my hands in the grass. It felt like feathers.
'Okay. You should see feel how good the grass feels, it's like feathers.' I said gleefully.
'Close your eyes baby, just concentrate on the grass for me.'
'I don't want to.' I said angrily. I gasped in shock as the floor fell out from under me. I was falling. I think I screamed. I dropped the phone into the floor. I was hurtling past things, then I was just…floating.
I felt arms wrap around me. How could I feel arms when I was in space?
'Fuck, Bella. Shit. What did you fucking take?' I heard.
I blinked. Paul's face was suddenly in front of me. I reached out to touch it, but it was distorting in front of me. I pulled my arm back sharply.
He was saying something but all I could hear was this high-pitched ringing sound.
Then everything went black.
A/N:
Lots of revelations in this chapter, I hope you understand Edward's behaviour a bit better now.
What's going to happen next?!
Next chapter is going to be a different POV for the ONLY time in the story...
Who do you think we'll hear from and what will they say? ;)
Thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews!
Hope you're safe and well xx