Chapter 66
Re-Introductions
SYDNEY
"We met in Lyon, while I was operating under the alias of Deneuve."
"Get out of my way."
"I was hunting a killer who displayed his victims ceremoniously inside cathedrals. Ambrosine had connections in France and she assisted me in solving the case."
"Stop talking."
"I was young, and brash, and looking for..." he faltered, and shook his head, "I am not sure what, but needless to say I did not find it with her. I ended—"
"Enough!" My voice came out louder and harsher than intended. Hands shaking, I covered my eyes. "Just...enough."
L settled back, uncomfortable. "...I can see that you are angry."
"Angry? You think I'm angry?"
He nodded once, firmly. "I presumed as such. Judging by your muscle tension, flushed skin and increased heart rate—"
"No, no L. I'm..." I gasped, eyes searching, "I'm sad."
He stopped, taken aback.
"A-and confused, and hurt. I mean...you asked me to your hotel room minutes after seeing your ex? After telling me you led me on just to get information on the Kira case. What am I supposed to think?"
"Ah. About that — I have reason to believe my files were compromised. It is possible my feelings were not a ruse after all."
This was news to me.
L was looking at me expectantly, like this changed everything.
But all it did was muddy the waters even more.
I exhaled, shutting my eyes. "Look, I've only ever been in one relationship my whole life. So maybe I'm...less experienced than you, but one thing I'm sure of is that you don't...treat someone you care about this way."
"I never meant to—"
"Save it." I held my hand up. "I don't care why you were swapping spit with the baguette, ok? I care that you were dishonest."
Jerry's words slipped into my mind.
That I was made, and for one reason. To defeat BB, outsmart Light, and ultimately...save L.
The idea sparked like tinder, flaring in my soul.
Not a person.
A character.
"I don't just exist for you." I explained, working the words out as I went. "If you want to...to be with me...then you need to offer more."
L's gaze swung around the room, then back at me, his eyes the colour of burnt wood. "More?"
"Yeah. More." Confidence rose in my throat, smoothing the cuts L's careless words struck in my heart.
"I may be only a-a statistic, just someone's monthly cheque. While you grew up in the English countryside playing tennis and catching murderers in your spare time. But let me tell you," I poked his chest, "I am not waiting around for you to figure out I'm worth it."
No matter what Jerry says.
"Until you do - go back to saving the world," I told him, "and leave me out of it.'
JERRY
Jerry held his head in hands, staring at the screen in horror.
The crunch of chewed popcorn exploded beside him, like pistol fire. "Wow. That was savage."
"Shut up, Monk."
"Kid tore him a new one, didn't she?"
"Be quiet. I'm thinking. Damn that blasted French woman."
They sat on the balcony of a celestial casino, where beings of light and sound partied in the background, gambling away bits of time and space they had saved up in their sub-dimensional pockets.
Jerry wore a pale tweed suit with a shoestring necktie, bejeweled with a glowing turquoise knot.
Monk rocked a pair of leather shorts, purple alligator shoes and a tongue piercing.
They both stared at the scene unfolding on a simple tablet in Jerry's lap.
"And now she's walking away," Monk said cheerily. "He looks miserable."
"Of course he's miserable!" Jerry snapped. "She just called him a spoiled brat!" He covered his eyes, holding back a sob. "And when things were going so well at the motel."
Monk patted him on the shoulder. "You win some you lose some."
"This is what I get for letting her go off script."
"Relax. They're hashing it out. It's a good thing. He's been too wishy washy with his intentions if you ask me."
But Jerry had already stopped listening. "Maybe I can cause a car accident, and he can run to her rescue..."
Monk sighed and hopped down from the balcony. "I'm going to bet on which star is next to supernova. Want to come?"
"No, by all means, go ahead. Just leave me to wallow alone, you unfeeling bastard."
"Call me if she punches him!" Monk shouted, sidling up to a cute waitress constructed from electric orange stardust.
Muttering curses, Jerry slammed the tablet against his forehead over and over again.
SYDNEY
Upon returning to set, I barely had time to think, and was immediately scooped up by a mortified make-up technician, who worked frantically to fix my tear-ridden foundation.
"Don't worry, we all know how stressed you must be," she said, hurriedly dabbing eyeshadow on the corners of my eyes. "Normally you'd have months to prepare and do test-readings with the cast. But Misa Misa's disappearance really put the studio in a tough spot."
The hairstylist who was busily mussing up my curls chimed in. "Yes! Everyone thinks you're doing a wonderful job. We're just happy you fit into her costume!" She laughed.
I said nothing, but gave them brief smiles in thanks.
No one knew Misa was strapped to a dolly, blindfolded, and being questioned for murder right now.
Not that she didn't deserve it - she did. But the disconnect was awkward. After all, I had come from similar beginnings as Misa. My parents were murdered, and a creepy stalker tried to kill me too.
Under different circumstances...could I have ended up like Misa?
Was I ending up like her right now?
The question weighed heavily on my mind as someone else swapped out my wings for a broken pair, and my tulle skirt for a darker, shredded version.
The bell rang, and I returned to the stage.
The scene was between myself and the headless huntsman who I was doomed to marry. The actor was a taller, gruffer man named Daichi, and was wearing a paper mache pumpkin over his head.
He gave me a thumbs up before the scene.
I kneeled on a floor of autumn leaves, spray painted gold and red. The smell made my eyes water, which worked for my character at least.
"ACTION!"
Daichi sat on his throne of skulls and pretended to drink from a bone goblet. "I am vexed. Why will you not marry me? Is it my head? Or perhaps the lack thereof?" He laughed and lifted the pumpkin off his shoulders.
In the movie, it was supposed to reveal nothing underneath, but all I saw was Daichi in lime green face paint and a spandex hoodie.
"My heart belongs to another."
"Can it not belong to me?"
"You? You?" Shaking, I stood up slowly, so the cameras could follow my movements, and clenched my fists. "You are rotten on the inside, Prince of the Hunt. I can smell your decaying soul from here."
"Tsk. Such cruel words from a fairy. We may be more of a match than you think."
"Dream your dreams. They will not come true."
He slammed his goblet down. "I will SLAY your meddling lover and mount his head alongside all the others in my garden. Make no mistake - he is already dead."
Counting silently while the cameras panned around my face, I summoned an expression of strength, and stared down the plastic pumpkin villain.
"You may try."
Silence hung over the studio for a moment.
"AND CUT! WOW. Great job you two. I think we got that in one take."
As the cameras moved to reset to the next scene, a blonde curtain of hair caught the corner of my eye.
Ambrosine was watching from behind a large floodlight.
I approached her.
"If you think you can fire me, think again," she said, voice chilled. "I will crush you. No one will hire you. Not so much as a sponge commercial will touch you."
"That's ok."
She blinked.
"I took this job for someone else, because I promised to be better." I looked around as lights were raised and lowered. "I'm not attached."
"Then you are ungrateful. A thousand girls dream of—"
"Woman."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm a woman, remember?"
She stopped short.
"Thank you for all your advice, by the way. I will finish this movie. But not for fame or money or power, like you said, but because..." I waved at Daichi from across the set, who was pretending to juggle his pumpkin head, and I grinned. "I'm actually having a lot of fun."
And I was.
The discomfort and stress I felt before had disappeared alongside the desire to show L and Aizawa (and even the memory of Mikal) that I was a changed person.
I owed them nothing.
I needed to prove nothing.
Low beginnings I may have, and one side of Misa's coin I may be, but thief or not - I was good.
And not because of Jerry. Or my story.
Sydney Pennypocket was born strong.
I wasn't a lowly criminal - I was a brilliant criminal. I never needed to change.
No more apologies.
Burden lifted, I felt lighter than air. As though my wings were real, and I might just leap into the sky and take flight at any moment.
Steal, not steal, it didn't matter to me.
Like the shards of a shell cracking and falling away, I shed my self doubt.
It was time to be myself, my incredible and perfect self, and damn everyone else. If they couldn't handle me...
Good.
"You—"
"Have dealt with far scarier things than a manipulative movie agent. You are seriously the least of my problems."
She scoffed, more than once. "I will not let him go. Not for a pigeon like you."
"You can have him, Renaux. I'm tired of waiting for a prince to come save me. I'm going to give my broken self a big hug, have a bubble bath and call it a night."
I left her to go join some of the side cast, all dressed like woodland creatures, who were tossing donuts across the room to catch in their mouths.
I did not see Ambrosine again that night, or her disbelief.
It was time to reclaim me.
One drop of maple syrup at a time.
AMBROSINE
He was sitting on the smoker's step, knees drawn to his chin, picking at the cuff of his jeans.
Ambrosine leaned against the wall, lit her cigarette, and offered it to him.
He shook his head.
"I will return to France in the morning," she said after a long drag. "The game is no fun without an opponent," her eyes flicked to him, "or a prize."
"Thank you."
She exhaled a ring of smoke.
"It's funny. I was drawn to you because you were powerful," she waved her cigarette, holding it between two knuckles, "and clever and mysterious." She chuckled to herself. "And that infinite bank account didn't hurt either."
"You are as generous in your compliments as you are in your complaints," he said dryly.
"But she doesn't care about those things."
"I'm aware."
"Then you're in trouble." Ambrosine flicked her cigarette away and stepped on it. "Strip away the mystery that is 'L' and what exactly are you left with?"
"I have a feeling you are about to tell me."
She swept past him, heading for an idling limo. "Just a lonely freak in need of a haircut."
A man in a striped suit and white gloves opened the door for her. Ambrosine sat inside and crossed her legs.
"Au revoir."
SYDNEY
Shooting went well into the night. I was told to get used to being nocturnal, as the studio space was rented during the day to another film.
"However, we shoot on location in only two days!" The director announced, reminding the entire crew before quitting time. "The horses should arrive by then. Do not lose your train tickets!"
Everyone discussed it excitedly amongst themselves while I wandered back to wardrobe.
"I can't wait. The pasture is apparently on this big fancy resort."
"I've never seen a horse before."
"I heard they have a hot spring!"
Unfortunately, Ambrosine's red dress was all I had waiting for me.
I opted to throw it in the trash.
Instead I spoke to a lady with a clipboard, lying and saying I had torn my outfit. "Too many donuts," I whispered in her ear.
She laughed and brought me a men's t-shirt with block letters that said 'STUDIO 4F'. It was long enough that it reached mid-thigh, so I could wear it as a dress.
I thanked her, showered, changed, poured myself a styrofoam cup of coffee from the food cart, and left.
The morning sun made my eyes water, and I blinked away the sting while I wandered around the edge of the parking lot. I should steal myself some sunglasses.
"There you are."
I stopped short — I had almost walked right by L.
He was waiting at the front gate, hunched on the ground, his baseball cap stuffed in his back pocket.
Did he wait for me all night?
Regret from my prior outburst surged forth. Instead of butterflies, it felt more like caterpillars in my stomach.
But I was far too embarrassed to bring it up just yet.
"You're doing that stalking thing again." I told him pointedly. "I can call security now, you know. I have that power."
He stood up, there was a dry leaf stuck in his hair, above his forehead. And the tops of his shoulders looked wet.
Did it rain?
The caterpillars danced a little mambo inside.
L took a deep breath, looked me in the eye...and pointed at my coffee. "Can I have a sip of that?"
"Huh? Oh. Sure." I handed it over.
Turns out a "sip" meant downing the entire thing. "Ah, that's better." He groaned.
"You want a donut too? I think there's some left over by catering."
"No thank you," he said, missing my sarcasm, "the caffeine should be enough to sustain me for now. I merely wished to talk."
"I have a cell phone. You can just call."
"I felt you were unlikely to answer.
"...Fair."
"I wanted to say," he paused, set the cup down on the curb, then turned back to me, "ahem, I wanted to say—"
A horn honked from a car trying to drive into the lot.
"Would you like to go somewhere else?"
A SHORT WALK LATER
We wandered far away from busy traffic, to a park with a large pond and swan boats stowed on the shore.
It was too cold for the tourist attraction to be active, so we were mostly left alone.
But that did not stop L from placing his hat on my head, which was slightly too large, and squashed my hair down.
"You are a minor celebrity now," he explained. "I would prefer to avoid you being recognized and having my picture spread on the internet."
I pulled the lip up and down. (It was actually kind of cute.) "I'll allow it."
We sat down on a bench, L tucked his heels up, and I rubbed my bare thighs for warmth.
The caterpillars squirmed.
And squirmed...
And...
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I blurted out.
"It was understandable."
"No, I was way out of line. I said all this horrible stuff. I was just...so angry. But bringing up your childhood was uncalled for."
"You knew I was an orphan in the 'English countryside'." He nudged my shoulder. "Now who is stalking who?"
Got me there. I blushed. "But it was wrong to compare us like that. I'm sure you've had your own hardships."
L nodded, watching the leaves fall on the water. "A few." His expression sobered. "Like the fire."
"You mean...when Adam died?"
L looked at me, startled. "I told you about Adam?"
"What? No." I squeezed my knees, digging my fingernails into my skin. "Beyond did." I kept my eyes far away from the pond's reflection.
Just in case.
"Oh. I see."
The wind whistled, long and slow.
"What else did he tell you?" L asked casually.
But I had gotten used to reading L by now.
The slight twinge below his ear and stiffness in his jaw gave away the intensity behind his question.
So I took a moment to think.
I had read Death Note, Another Note before. Which gave a bit of insight into L's past.
One line that always struck me was:
"L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House.
Everyone wanted to surpass him.
To step over him.
To step on him.
M did, N did, and B did.
M as a challenger, N as a successor.
B as a criminal."
"You had trouble making friends." I offered.
"Ah."
"But," I stopped, confused, "if you didn't mean Adam, what fire were you talking ab—?"
"It is not important," he interrupted.
I fell silent again.
Thinking about it now, I had been so engrossed in the plot of Death Note, the antics of the shinigami, and running away from my own problems — that I had never taken time to even ask L about himself.
He was written as an enigma in the story, but here, sitting next to me, he was just a person too. With likes and dislikes.
With a past.
I hadn't known about Ambrosine.
What else did I not know about him?
The silence grew the longer we sat, and I shifted, uncomfortable.
L leaned his head back and exhaled at the sky, shutting his eyes. After a moment, he spoke, very slowly, as if working through a problem out loud.
"Forgive me. I know I can sometimes be...difficult. I am a private person — for good reason. I have made enemies who would wish great harm to myself and my colleagues."
His hair had fallen back, away from his face, and the shadows under his eyes looked deeper beneath direct sunlight.
When was the last time he slept?
The elevator?
Longer?
I took advantage of the rare moment to study him.
L was slim, and his complexion smooth and untarnished. Except now there was the slightest hint of an old tan, which gave more depth to his face.
I wonder if he likes any food that isn't sweet? He could swim in the dream, and fence too, can he in real life? What was the Wammy House like?
"You're staring," he gave me a side eye.
Startled, I quickly looked away, hoping to hide the heat rising in my face.
L leaned forward again, touching his thumb to his bottom lip contemplatively.
"I am aware I have some...unusual mannerisms." He paused, as if just realizing, then slowly and deliberately moved his hand from his mouth. "I know I unsettle people," he said quietly.
"What? Who told you that? Was it Light?" I made a fist. "I'll beat him up for you."
"But..do I not...bother you?" His brow furrowed.
"Not at all!" I reassured. "I think you're really cute."
His expression brightened. "Is that so?"
Crap. I cleared my throat. "Forget it," I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck.
"No, go on."
I hesitated...then sighed and turned my head away. "L...I'm still mad at you."
"I know." He grew quiet again. "I would like to correct that. May we start over?
Looking at him, uncertain, I asked, "How?"
L held out his hand. "I go by many names, but my friends call me Ryuzaki. You," his dark eyes gleamed, "may call me Ryu."
Ryu.
"What would you like me to call you?" He asked politely.
I wavered.
Ella was conceived from a mistake, and Elanor didn't feel quite right either.
And Sydney was just...sad.
If this was meant as new beginnings between L and I...then I wanted a new name too.
L noticed my hesitation, and spoke first. "I confess, I have been using a code name for you since I lost my memory."
"Really?" I asked. "Is it cool? Like The Phoenix? Ooh! Or Batman!"
"...No."
"Tigress? Princess of Thieves? Captain Canada?"
"Never mind."
"Come on, don't be like that. You have to say it n—"
"Penny." He cleared his throat. "It was Penny."
"O-oh." I fluttered my eyelashes, surprised. "Why Penny?" I cleared my throat. "Any particular reason?"
"I like how it sounds."
A small seed of hope took root in my chest.
He remembers.
...Sort of.
"Alright. Penny it is." I squared my shoulders and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Ryu."
"Nice to meet you, Penny."
The way he said Penny made my heart race.
A spark lingered in the air between us, and a breeze brushed my neck, cold against the heat beneath my skin.
Maybe...
RING!
L let go of my hand (though I noticed reluctantly) to answer his phone.
"Go," he said. "Yes..." A pause. "Really? No. No need for a car, I will arrive shortly." He hung up.
Great. Light must have done something.
More than ever I wished I was still part of the task force. I wanted to ask, but L had already stood up to leave.
"I must go," he said.
"Figured." I shrugged and smiled. "Saving the world isn't a part-time job."
"We will speak again soon, yes?" He asked.
I nodded.
L turned to leave, then stopped. "Penny...you're not just a statistic. Not to me. I hope you know that."
I swallowed, but he left before I could reply.
It wasn't until several minutes later I realized he forgot his hat.
I took it off and hugged it.
"Thanks, Ryu." I whispered to myself.
End of Chapter 66
Anybody else binge watching Lucifer? Or Cobra Kai? If not - correct that!
Props to the lovely reviewer, 'Zanna' who reminded me Sydney has actually kissed 4 guys doomed to death if we count Light. (As a fanfic writer, I know I've 'made it' when I forget my own lore and my fans step in to school me.) *Wipes proud mama tears away.*
Although now I'm wondering if this fic needs its own wiki. XD
Love ya, Zanna!
Forever you're faithful fan,
~ Satchelle