Hackett's image faded away on the QEC. Shepard whipped around and bumped into Kaidan.

"Holy-Where'd you come from?" Shepard said.

Kaidan folded his arms. "Tali's been looking at my hair and giggling."

Shepard backed up. "How do you know where she's looking? She wears a mask."

"I asked. She said my hair."

Shepard put her hands on her hips and shrugged. "She say why?"

"All she'd say is, 'What? I haven't seen a picture.' Then she busied herself sorting the same datapads over and over."

"Weird. You checked the back of your head? Maybe you didn't get the bedhead out."

"Tali said picture. I never mentioned a picture. But there is a picture of me with a hamster in my hair." Kaidan stepped closer. "So guess what I showed her?"

Shepard gave a lazy shrug and waited. He studied her, a line wrinkling his brow.

"I showed her the Noveria picture," he qualified.

"Right. Figured."

Kaidan's frown deepened. "Wait. Why are you so – Oh no." He slapped a hand on his Omni-Tool. Shepard waited as he checked. He went rigid and looked up. "It's gone. Tali …"

"Missing something?" Shepard stretched her neck to see his screen.

"Strangely enough, yes. Digitally pickpocketed." Kaidan shook his head. "Donnelly, sure. But Tali? Knife's buried deep on this one."

"Your retaliatory reflexes shouldn't be so predictable there, Kaidan." Shepard patted his chest and moved around him.

Kaidan caught her wrist. "You put Tali up to it. She teased me about the hamster photo so I'd show her your Noveria picture. Then she stole it from me. For you."

Shepard yanked at her wrist, but he only held tighter. He reached for her Omni-Tool.

"Hey!" Shepard twisted against his grip. "We gonna tussel around the floor? You're not getting my Omni-Tool."

"If we didn't have an audience in the war room, then maybe. Just hey - don't - Ow!"

Shepard thrust him back with the sole of her boot. "Was that even a real attempt?"

Kaidan glanced at the open doorway to the war room. His eyes shifted back to her face.

"I'll find you alone eventually."

"Ha! Good," Shepard laughed. "No witnesses means I can biotically somersault you across the room and not feel bad about it."

Kaidan blazed blue. Shepard threw up her barrier just as the stasis field crackled over her.

"Not fast enough," she said.

Kaidan muttered under his breath and dropped his hand. Blue faded off his skin. "You really think your Noveria picture is safer with Tali than me? She stabbed me in the back. Really trust her to just return it to you?"

Shepard paused. Her barrier fizzled away. A double cross hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Oh," Shepard said.

"Uh huh," Kaidan said. "I would have gone to my grave with that photo. Now Tali has it."

"Oh. I should- I'll just … Later."

Shepard swung to the door. She needed to touch base with Tali. Tali wouldn't make a copy. Would she? The stasis field hit her square in the back. Her muscles coiled, joints froze, and blue light blinded her vision.

Kaidan rounded her. "Just to prove a point, I could take your Omni-Tool. But I won't." Kaidan folded his arms. "Justice is probably already being served anyway. Donnelly and Daniels are probably laughing about your photo right now. The only person I've ever shown it to was Tali, because it was Tali … Donnelly, though ..."

Shepard flared her barrier and dropped out of stasis. She cartwheeled into him.

She jabbed a finger into his chest. "If I wasn't more worried about Donnelly right now, Kaidan, you'd be floating around the QEC like a lost balloon."

"I can make a barrier, too, you know."

Shepard thought for a minute then put her hands on her hips. "If I give you back the hamster pic, will you help me defeat Donnelly? Make sure I get that pic back from Tali with no hiccups?"

"I'm listening."

Shepard pulled up her Omni-Tool screen. "Here. An olive branch. I'll just give you your… Oh."

"What?"

Shepard snapped her screen down. "Later. We can settle up after."

"Where's my photo?" Kaidan said slowly.

Shepard sighed. "I got pickpocketed too."

"Double backstab. Oh, she's good."

"Tali didn't come up with this on her own. It's not Donnelly either. Too thought out. Gotta be-"

"Garrus."

"Joker."

They frowned at each other then blinked.

"Both," they said at the same time.

XXX

"That wasn't my only copy. You know that, right?" Kaidan shifted next to her in the elevator.

"You think that was my only copy?" Shepard turned to him.

"Yes."

"Dammit. It was." Shepard swung back to face the door. She shook her head. "Damn. It was so cute too. Of both of you."

"Both of us?" Kaidan sputtured. "That wasn't a family photo."

"I know that," Shepard said and folded her arms. "Didn't have the fish."

"Really?" Kaidan rolled his eyes.

"Didn't have me in it either. So many reasons it's not a family photo."

Kaidan eyed her sideways with a brightening smile. "So, if you were in it, it would qualify as a family photo?"

"No," Shepard glanced over at him. "You keep forgetting the fish."

The elevator stopped.

Kaidan touched her wrist. "I like the idea of a family photo."

"Good luck getting everyone not to blink." Shepard squeezed his fingers. "Let's get our photos back."

"This quarter of the family photo agrees." Kaidan smiled so wide, it made Shepard's heart thump.

"Come on, Quarter-of-the-Family-Photo." She burst out of the elevator, a smile growing on her lips.

EDI directed them to the portside lounge. Garrus and Joker were both there. Even better. Shepard stomped into the lounge with Kaidan flanking her.

"Busted." Shepard slapped a hand on the card table. A pile of chips fell over by James's elbow. "Joker, Garrus, James."

Three faces looked up at Shepard.

"Hey, Lola. Thought about inviting ya. Figured you were busy and all. Heard Hackett was on comm."

"Oh, act innocent. This isn't about that." Shepard pointed her finger at them and leaned forward on the table. "Where are the pictures?"

"Pictures of what?" Joker frowned.

"Don't play around. The pictures of us. Kaidan and me. I know Tali pinched them from our Omni-Tools. She didn't do it alone. Who has 'em?"

James's mouth fell open. His eyes darted between Kaidan and Shepard. "Pictures of you two doing what?"

Kaidan sighed and folded his arms. "You always have to go right there?"

"Doubt I'm alone, hombre. Anyone hearing this and not thinking that?"

"Sounded kinky," Joker agreed.

"You both seem embarrassed." Garrus studied them.

"Well, yeah, it's a picture of …" Shepard waved vaguely. "Nevermind. We want them back. Where are they?"

"Nada. Don't know what you're talking 'bout, Lola."

"Garrus?"

"Baffled."

"Joker?"

Joker leaned an elbow on the table. "Think I need a full description if you want me to remember seeing it."

"I'm not a six year old, Joker. Think that's going to work? Don't make me toss bunks and confiscate Omni-Tools."

"Uh, can you spell tyrant?" Joker said.

"Go on and check. I got nothin'." James tossed his Omni-Tool on the table in front of her. "I'd keep the images thumb nail sized unless you're meaning to see too much. Comprende?"

Shepard looked down at it but didn't move to take it.

"You said Tali took them?" Garrus said.

"They're embarrassing, huh?" Joker said.

"It's Kaidan with a hamster on his head, if you must know."

Joker sprayed spittle and pounded the table. James chuckled and eyed Kaidan with a widening grin.

"And your pic?" Garrus said.

"Just got caught at the wrong angle. Don't worry about it. You're all saying Tali came up with this on her own?"

"Tali stole your embarrassing photos? Why would she ..."Garrus's posture stiffened. He punched up the screen on his Omni-Tool. "Wait. Oh. Can't be. Spirits! She did it to me too."

"What?" Shepard said.

"It's an, uh … Well …" Garrus glanced around at them then lowered his voice. "I'm … I'm wearing a Iketel."

"A what?" Joker said.

"Iketel." Garrus hung his head. "Turian maidens wear them to parties. It was a joke. Some friends, and I was young. Spirits! Knew it was a bad move sharing a whole bottle of dextran wine. I showed her and now …"

Joker fidgeted in his chair. He covertly turned his Omni-Tool on under the table. His eyes bulged. "Oh, wait. EDI!"

"Yes, Jeff?" her voice came overhead.

"Tell me you deleted those photos."

"I will need more specific parameters to answer the question."

"You know, the photo of the … Come on! Remember?"

"That has not narrowed the search field."

"You showed them to Tali, didn't you? It's the, um …" Joker looked at them out of the corner of his eye then sighed. "That picture of me … You wanted me to relax."

James sucked air in between his teeth. "Don't wanna know."

"Every time." Kiadan waved at James.

"Jeff," EDI said. "To confirm. You are referring to your afternoon at the spa? Several photos were taken. Perhaps you are thinking of the pedicure with cucumbers on your eyes. Or perhaps it is the hot oil back massage? You seemed distressed to learn your masseuse had been a batarian male. Perhaps his large size intimidated you. It was beneficial you were unaware during the massage or it may have impaired relaxation. Involuntary vocal sounds indicated you found the experience highly pleasurable."

"EDI," Joker gagged. He avoided their eyes, red creeping up his neck. "Don't take photos without asking. Like, ever. And don't show them to anyone!"

"Noted."

"Tell me you're the one who deleted them."

"I did not. Tali vas Normandy downloaded and rerouted access permissions. As you were averse to the photos, I did not foresee losing access causing alarm."

All the eyes turned to James.

"What?" James said.

"You're not going to look?" Shepard flipped James's Omni-Tool back at him. James caught it.

"Don't need to look."

"You're that confident she didn't strike you too?" Shepard asked.

James shrugged. "Hey. Sparks asked to see my photos. I gave 'em to her."

"And you got no worries about that, man?" Joker asked barely lifting his eyes.

"She just asked you?" Garrus said.

"Yup. Said she was working on something or whatever. Just wanted her gone so I could finish my reps. Gave her my 'Tool. Said take whatever."

Liara burst into the lounge. "Shepard! EDI said you were in here. I … Oh. You're busy. I'll just … We can talk about this later."

"Missing a photo?" Shepard asked.

"Yes!" Liara blurted and wrung her hands. "I don't want to say, but it's a bad one."

"Aw, Doc," James said. "Something embarrassing, huh?"

"It's the worst one!" Liara paced. "It's so compromising. Silly really."

"Shows a lot of skin?" James offered.

"Yes! It was an accident. I sneaked past the roped off section of the Prothean museum in Amarli. One of the artifacts, well, I shouldn't have … It only lasted ten hours, but I worried it wouldn't go back. My skin. It turned … yellow." Liara hid her face in her hands. "It was very patchy. Parts of it glowed. I looked … it was … Oh, goddess. I've only ever showed one person aboard."

"Oh." James looked disappointed.

"You showed Tali?" Shepard said flatly.

Liara looked up from her hands. "Yes. How'd you know?"

Shepard pressed the comm in her ear. "Javik? Has Tali bothered you about anything lately? Maybe a photo or something?"

His voice cracked in the comm. "Ah, the human commander. Yes. The quarian insisted I wear a thing then took a photo and left. I just wanted her gone."

"What thing?"

"It was feathery. Had memories of that female engineer. Memories of nurses, cats, and witches."

"Gabby's boa," Shepard said. "Wore it at the Alliance party a few months ago. Javik, meet us in engineering. Everyone, let's move."

"We're in the middle of a game," James protested.

"I'm getting my pics back pronto." Joker wobbled to his feet.

"I trusted her." Garrus shook his head. He pushed to his feet. "Dextran wine, the whole bottle ..."

They jumbled into the elevator.

XXX

"Tali? Where is she?" Shepard plowed into engineering.

Donnelly and Daniels flipped around at the same time. Adams peeked his head around the corner and evaluated the crowd.

"Looking for your photo?" Adams asked.

Shepard put fists on her hips. "You've seen them?"

"Oh. We wanted to," Donnelly said.

Daniels elbowed him. "Tali didn't show us, Commander. Donnelly was so thoughtful though. He submitted photos of Adams and me."

"Shouldn't fall asleep at your terminal," Donnelly said.

"Don't worry," Daniels said. "I submitted my own photo of you."

"Submitted for what?" Shepard said.

Javik came in behind them. "The quarian is in the starboard lounge."

"What?" Shepard said exasperated. "Back to the elevator, Everyone. We're getting this figured out."

Bursting onto the crew deck, Shepard ran into Dr. Chakwas coming out of the Starboard Lounge.

"Have an embarrassing picture get nabbed?" Shepard asked.

"Oh, my yes. Absolutely horrible. You'll all get a good kick out of it." Dr. Chakwas patted her arm and moved toward the med bay.

Shepard led the way into the Starboard Lounge. Her entourage boiled in behind her, the engineers at the back. Tali stood across the room. She clasped her hands in front of her.

"Oh. I was about to-"

"Where's my picture? The one from Noveria."

Tali put a hand out indicating the wall. Picture frames with dark screens filled the wall.

"No one's seen them but me," Tali said. "It's been so tense. Serious. Sad lately. I thought it would be fun."

A single frame in the left-hand corner lit the dark space. It was the only frame with a picture. Dr. Chakwas was spitting out her beverage in wild laughter, hand over her mouth, eyes pinched in amusement. The spray escaped through the cracks of her fingers in a perfectly captured mist.

"Dr. Chakwas might not want that up there." Shepard pointed at it. "I don't want mine up. It's haunted me enough already."

"Dr. Chakwas gave me permission," Tali said.

"Not sure about law on the flotilla," Joker said, "but stealing isn't exactly permission."

"I can give the photos back," Tali said. "But I thought we needed something to laugh at. Somewhere to go and see the people you care about not being upset or sad, just happy. Goofy."

Tali strode to the wall. She put her palm on one of the dark picture frames. It scanned her hand. When she pulled back, a picture came into focus. It was Tali on Feros. Shepard had forgotten it: Tali slipping in the murky tunnel. In the picture, she was on her feet twisting to look at a tear in the butt of her suit. Her entire back and legs dripped green goop.

"Oh, my suit!" Tali said, turning away from the picture on the wall. It was the same thing she said when Shepard hauled Tali to her feet on Feros. Almost three years ago now.

"Ash took that picture," Kaidan said.

Tali bobbed her head. "She gave me a copy. When I look at it, I still hear her laughing."

"Which of mine did you choose?" James rubbed his hands. "I've got some good ones."

"Find out." Tali gestured to the wall of dark pictures.

James strolled to the nearest frame, and chuckling, pressed his palm to the glass. The palm scan faded and a picture appeared. James stood back.

"Wait. Whoa, whoa!" James gawked. "That my prom picture? No way. All my party shenanigans, and this one? I got curly hair in this."

"Just like your date." Joker cracked a smile. "Not your cousin, is she? I like the matchy colors going on."

"Ah!" James pawed a hand at it and stepped back into the group. "It's kinda funny, I guess."

"You're so small. Skinny," Liara said stepping closer and peered at it.

"Takes work to keep these guns loaded." James flexed.

"I'll do it," Liara said and put her palm on a frame.

A picture appeared. James and Joker slapped hands over their mouth laughing.

"You weren't joking about that yellow." James patted her back as she stepped into line again. "I like you in yellow, Blue."

The engineers went next. Pictures brightened the room to hoots of laughter. Daniels shoved Donnelly back into the crowd.

"Shoulda enlarged Gab's face," Donnelly said. "I've got another one, Tali. Better angle that really lets you see the snore and drool."

"Your Spandex yoga pose is worse than my drool," Daniels said.

Kaidan walked to the wall and put his palm out. He stepped back as the photo appeared.

Liara frowned. "Humans can have hair parasites. Is that …"

"It's a space hamster," Kaidan said. "Not a parasite."

Shepard harrumphed. "You seen the rations he runs me through? He's a parasite."

Garrus clapped Kaidan's shoulder and stepped forward himself. He touched a dark picture frame. The Iketel was as lovely as Shepard imagined, and Garrus looked as lovely in it as she also imagined.

"Tali," Garrus said. "Next time you turn up in the battery with a bottle of dextran wine … I have worse pictures I can show you. Bring two bottles."

Tali squeezed her palms together and lifted on the balls of her feet. "I promise not to share them next time."

Javik glanced around. "Though above your uncultured bids at amusement, I have decided to conform. Best to prevent hostility." Javik touched a frame.

Daniells hooted and raised a fist in the air. "My boa! See, Ken, you thought it was a waste buying a costume."

"Said to junk the flapper dress. Just wear a boa. That's a costume."

Everyone turned their eyes to Joker and Shepard.

"You don't have to put your pictures up," Tali reassured. "Or you can give me another one."

"Didn't know that was an option," James said. "Rather be playing beer pong with my shirt off than coordinating corsage colors."

"It had to be truly embarrassing to really work," Tali said. "But if that's the only way …"

"Ah! Fine!" Joker hobbled to the wall. With a grimace, he pressed his palm to a dark picture frame. The picture lit up, and he moaned. "Not the hair removal."

"Woo. Brutal, man." James's face twisted. "Are you crying in that pic?"

"Broken bones hurt less." Joker shuffled back to stand by Shepard. "Back hair. Like, what's wrong with back hair?"

Shepard could feel the eyes weighing on her.

"All right." Breath exploded from her mouth. She charged to the wall and slapped a hand on a frame before she could rethink.

"Woof, Commander." Joker threw his head back and laughed. "Someone's finally captured the real you."

"Nice, Lola." James whistled. He reached over and socked her in the arm.

She stepped back beside Kaidan. His hand touched her back, and he grinned sideways at her.

"Just say it," Shepard said.

"Decalf-ienated."

Shepard smirked but shook her head. Everyone gathered around the wall pointing out details, laughing, and trading stories. One by one they dwindled away.

"All right, Tali. It was a good idea," Shepard said grudgingly. "Thought you were just getting the Noveria picture back from Kaidan for me. Tsk. Well, it worked it out. You could ask next time."

"No one would have said yes. Had to be in a group like this for anyone to do it."

The lounge door opened and footsteps marched in. Traynor's eyes narrowed on Tali. "Do you have my picture from St. Patrick's Day?"

Shepard chuckled. "There's a dark frame in the corner. I'm betting she does have that picture."

Two nights later, Shepard couldn't sleep. She slunk down into the observation lounge in her sweats and stared at the wall of glowing faces. She walked along the frames, and her cheeks ached from grinning.

She touched the bit of fur on Kaidan's head and laughed. James's prom date did share a resemblance. Joker could be on to something about it being a cousin. Shepard squinted at Dr. Chakwas. The cut off arm on the edge of the picture had a birthmark on the wrist. It was Adams she was laughing with. Shepard backed up and looked at the wall. Friends and better times. Tali was right. It was good to have a little light in the gloom.