The Month of November

by Anticipate

After their final cultural festival performance, the members of the Light Music Club find themselves unsure on how to move forwards. With the promise of separation only a few months away, the very existence of the band is at stake. Though they graduate in March, the Light Music Club first has to survive the month of November. YuiAzu, reviews are appreciated.

16. We were never a normal club

November 16th, 2nd period Classical Literature

Rain battered the windows of Sakuragaoka High on an unapologetically clear Wednesday morning. Yui's eyes were alit with naive wonder from her desk, her gaze transfixed by the phenomenon taking place only a meter or two from her face. She followed the rainbow created by the unnaturally arcing stream with her finger, tracing between the red and orange lines until they faded away into the damp earth, bright colors mixing together and fading into a sullen brown. The sight was calling to her, begging her to abandon her seat and avail for herself a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Any attempt to stand, however, was thwarted, not by the class going on around her, but by her cell phone. The last message received by the device tugged at her conscious, weighing her down and denying her the chance to truly be enraptured by the miracle of nature. Caught between fantasy and reality, Yui balanced her unoccupied hand on her chin, her feet dancing by themselves indecisively under her desk. I shouldn't be trying to think too hard about this. It'll just confuse me. Things might be strange, but it's all going to work out in the end. As long as I believe in them, it'll all work itself out. No need to be nervous. Running the lines through her head was as effective as every previous attempt Yui had tried in the short length of time between when she had woken up that morning and now. But what did Azu-nyan mean? If she doesn't want things to go back to normal, doesn't that mean we're on the same page? Mou, puzzles are hard. I wish I had Azu-nyan's help. She's probably good at puzzles. Yui's head was allowed to topple to her desk with a conspicuous thud.

Yesterday's attempt at unfiltered honesty had gone poorly, to say the least. Nobody had decided to clue Yui in to the fact that having bandmates on hand as support for romantic endeavors was a terrible idea. Perhaps this should have been obvious in retrospect, but Yui had as much experience on the battlefield of romance as she did with reading music properly. Knowing what a piece was supposed to sound like only carried one so far in comprehending the steps it took to get there. Worse, the mistake had left Yui with nothing but nerves plaguing her thoughts for her troubles. Our band is in the middle of a fight I started, and I can only think about Azu-nyan. Selfish Yui. But is it selfish if I need Azu-nyan for energy? Wait, that sounds weird. She gives me energy? That's better. If I can't get energy from Azu-nyan or the band, I go back to powerless Yui. Powerless Yui can't help her friends. If what Mugi-chan and Sawa-chan-sensei said about affecting people is true, I have to do my best now more than ever. But fate makes telling the truth too hard. This immutable fact was enough for Yui to sink deeper into her desk, as if she could fall straight into the processed wood and come out in a universe where her problems were nonexistent.

Not a hair on Yui's head was disturbed as the brunette turned dejectedly to face what she had dubbed rain once more. Her seat by the window truly was a magnanimous host, always ready with some form of entertainment for Yui to marvel at instead of the current lesson that made up an integral part of her high school education. Pretty… I wonder if Azu-nyan can see this. Maybe I should send her a picture. Yui had her phone halfway out of her pocket before she took the time to reconsider her idea. Maybe not. If I lose my phone for having it out at the wrong time, I might miss a text from Azu-nyan. Mou. If Ricchan were here, she could cause a distraction. I hope she's okay.

Though she and Tsumugi had tried, neither girl had been able to reach the band's drummer since yesterday. Ritsu's desk at the front of the room sat ominously empty, reminding Yui that the previous day had actually happened, a chord she couldn't unplay. Currently impossible actions were demanded by Yui's brain, the dance underneath her seat becoming more fervent. I knew I was being selfish, and I did it anyways. I shouldn't be trying to deal with the band's problems and my confession to Azu-nyan at the same time. I'm meeting Azu-nyan after school, so I just need to tell Azu-nyan first and take care of the others after Ricchan comes back. I can be selfish if it's for the sake of the band. A half-smile appeared and disappeared on the guitarist, obfuscated by the fact that part of her mouth was still covered by the desk. But I have to be careful. Azu-nyan is fragile. I don't want her to suffer, like Jun-chan said she was. I keep messing up in front of her, so I have to do this right. Is that why I'm so nervous, why I don't just tell her up front? Ugh. I need a nap. The conditions were decent enough for rest under more traditional circumstances, but the racket from outside filled Yui's mind and denied her the peace she sought.

Wait, why is that the only thing I can hear?

This thought and the sense that she was being watched drew Yui's head from her desk. It was a buzz in the back of her head she was intimately familiar with, having a helicopter mom for a sister, but the location and intensity of the scrutiny eliminated Ui as a potential culprit. Her first guess that one of her friends was the offender turned out to be correct. Casting a subdued look to Mio, Yui's eyes widened as she was met with Mio staring blatantly back at her. Yui blinked, the turn of events completely pulling her into the moment. She's staring at me! Why is Mio-chan staring at me? Wait a minute… does Mio-chan have repressed feelings for me? The completely baseless claim born from a biased mind caused Yui's hands to tremble. That's terrible! Mio-chan, I'm sorry, I don't feel that way, probably! What do I do? I can't hurt Mio-chan's feelings now. What will Ricchan think? Mio's stare took on a modicum of confusion as tears started to form in Yui's eyes.

Looking for any form of assistance, Yui turned to her other present bandmate, only to realize that Tsumugi was also staring at her. Yui's eyes snapped fully open as she contemplated the sudden romantic interest her entire band had in her. Is this why we haven't found a solution?! What do I do? I need an adult! Yui put both of her hands on her head, running them feverishly through her hair, the disquietingly silent observation becoming too much for the addled guitarist to handle.

Focusing on the only man in the room, Yui's search for stability was met by her teacher's sigh. "Have we returned to Earth yet, Hirasawa?" a sardonic voice questioned, cutting through Yui's delusions. "Would you perhaps be willing to grace us with your attention long enough to answer my question?"

Blinking away her tears, Yui properly took in the classroom around her for the first time that day. It quickly became abundantly clear that everyone in class, not just Mio and Tsumugi, was staring at her. This fact sent an immediate wave of much-needed relief through the brunette. If she had only missed the prompt to answer a question, then there were no issues at all, and she could focus on Azusa without worrying about turning down her beloved bandmates. Though she had no idea what the question was, Yui knew exactly how to react in this situation from a disappointing amount of experience. Standing bolt upright without thinking caused Yui's unprepared legs to trip over themselves, sending her back to her desk and eliciting a laugh from her less conscientious peers. Struggling to maintain what little dignity remained with her, Yui stood up properly and smoothed out her blazer. "Horigome-sensei! I wasn't paying attention!" she declared, holding a hand out in front of her proudly.

Mr. Horigome, an aging classical literature teacher infamous for having the patience of a starving dog and an unhealthy addiction to hearing the sound of his own voice, shook his head. "We can all see that, child. I loathe repeating myself, but are the broken sprinklers outside really more interesting to you than the works of Shakespeare?" In response, the sprinkler rotated beyond its intended capacity, providing the window next to Yui with a fresh wave of water that looked like rain.

Though it obviously wasn't rain that had soaked Yui's window, she had found enough entertainment in the novelty of the concept of rain on a clear day to nod enthusiastically. "You should look at them before they get fixed, sensei! They're really pretty! It's like rain when it isn't raining! And they're gonna be fixed soon, so if you don't act now, you'll miss your chance and they'll be gone forever!" A low level of laughter made its rounds around the classroom before Mr. Horigome could cut it off with a wave of his hand.

The classical literature teacher shook his head condescendingly, pushing his worn glasses up his face. "Well, if you believe your education to be more frivolous than even the tritest everyday occurrence, perhaps you should expend the rest of your limited youth frolicking in the sprinklers instead of pretending to desire a meaningful contribution to society. If you paid half as much attention to me as you did to that window, your potential in the school play might have risen above Tree G. Perhaps you're of the mind that underachievement, bottom feeding on our country's goodwill like the rest of the dregs of society is more fulfilling than the honest work the rest of us put in. Does that sound like you, Hirasawa? Are you going to be our nation's next plague, or its doctor?" As if his proclamation needed punctuation, Mr. Horigome slammed the book he was holding firmly onto his desk.

Yui allowed precious seconds to bleed away as she attempted to decipher what exactly her teacher was ranting at her about amidst his complaints about the youth. Most of what the man said never lasted in Yui's head for more than a minute or two, especially when he was talking directly to her. While she knew it was rude, Ritsu had reassured her that she'd be happier allowing Mr. Horigome's insults to pass right through her, and she had no reason to doubt the career troublemaker of her group. A squeaking chair saved Yui from providing an incorrect response. "Yui-chan does well when she needs to," Mio defended, her voice reminding Yui of the tone she reserved for performances. "She just has trouble paying attention sometimes."

"I would hardly call every day this week sometimes, Akiyama," the teacher rebutted. "But since you seem to be so passionate on the matter, why don't you go stand outside with her and teach her a thing or two about how to behave. Pray I don't find a reason to assign you both cleaning duty while you're out there." With every word, Mio appeared to shrink a little more, her bravado fading far faster than it appeared.

Cowed by their teacher, Yui and Mio only nodded wordlessly, making to scramble out of the room before their teacher changed his mind. Cleaning duty normally wasn't a problem, but anything that might hold Yui back from meeting with Azusa as soon as possible was unacceptable today. In Mio's case, having the top student in trouble was embarrassing enough, regardless of the reason. On the way out, Yui noticed Tsumugi preparing to stand up, but she coughed to catch the heiress' eye and shook her head subtly. Conflicted, Tsumugi seated herself once more as the lesson continued without her being acknowledged. No reason to get Mugi-chan in trouble too, even if it is boring outside. Also I need someone's notes to copy. Nodoka-chan is too stingy.

Exiting the classroom to an abandoned hallway, Mio stood dutifully under the sign to the door while Yui paced back and forth between where Mio stood and the 5 or 6 steps to the other side of the hallway. Her shadow from the morning sunlight ran up and down Mio's body like a slow photocopier. "Are you alright?" Mio asked, her terse tone contrasting the concern in her eyes.

Yui stopped walking in the middle of the hallway. "Yeah. Ricchan taught me not to listen to Mr. Horigome when he's in a bad mood. Thanks for sticking up for me though."

Mio sighed, shaking her head. "I should have known you were fine. Well, you're welcome anyways. Now come stand over here. We're supposed to be quiet, and I won't forgive you if we get in more trouble because you can't sit still." Folding her arms, Mio went mum, her head tilted pointlessly towards the ceiling.

Though the primal need to stave off the demon of boredom conflicted directly with Mio's command, another pearl of wisdom Ritsu had bestowed upon her fellow underachiever was to never push Mio when it came to getting her in trouble. Yui's back hit the wall in defeat. She had gotten quite good at getting in trouble for slacking off in Mr. Horigome's class, to the point where any teachers who happened to have a route by her classroom at the time were on a first name basis with her. What that really meant was that she'd expended every possible form of entertainment to be found outside her classroom months ago. Of course, today wasn't her fault, not when something as interesting as faulty sprinklers spraying a window was happening outside. This only just happened to coincide with yesterday, when a bird happened to land on the windowsill, and the day before, when a passing cloud happened to look so similar to a cat that Yui had tried to open the window to get a better look at it. It wasn't her fault that Mr. Horigome was allergic to cats, birds, and apparently rainbows. If the man couldn't appreciate the purity of an innocent mind's wonder over nature's beauty, then that was his problem. Yui's only problem was that the hallway was currently abandoned sans her and a stoic Mio, leaving her with nothing to occupy herself. Mio was blocking her spot to attempt to beat her world record for most times touching the classroom sign in one minute, so Yui resigned herself to counting the floorboards again. It wasn't fun by any stretch of the imagination, but Yui wasn't about to attempt to risk Mio's wrath over a simple conversation. Fate, however, wasn't interested in what Yui wanted. Squinting to determine if she had counted the oddly-colored wood panel twice or not gave Yui a premier view of the red-tipped shoes rounding the corner at the end of the hallway. Mio suppressed her embarrassment with a disturbingly stoic grimace as Yui lifted herself from the wall to meet her kouhai's eyes. The younger girl appeared to be just as starved for a proper reaction at the impromptu meeting as her senpais. Her hands struggled with the papers she was holding, saved only by the slowing of her hurried pace as she stalled in the hallway in front of her senpais. "Azu-nyan?" Yui asked warily, before she found her neutral smile. "Hello! What are you doing here?"

Azusa placed the papers she had been holding on the ground as she began to sift through them, sorting them into a more manageable stack. "Delivering some papers for my teacher," she replied plainly. "You shouldn't be talking to me if you're in trouble. I have to imagine it's your fault Mio-senpai is out here, so don't make things worse for her. I'll see you both after school, senpais." The kouhai rose and began to stride away, the rigidity in her posture accenting the uneasy atmosphere her curt reply had brewed between the girls.

Watching Azusa walk away with such finality drew out unpleasant fears that Yui hadn't realized she'd been harboring until a few days ago. "Ricchan isn't here, so we can't practice," Yui called after the retreating guitarist, drawing on the first talking point she could think of to salvage the interaction. "So, if you still want to practice together with just us, we can do it right after school. If you still want to, that is. No pressure. I don't mind either way. We can put it off if you want. No pressure, really." A raised eyebrow from Mio couldn't distract Yui from the nerves that assaulted her as she spoke faster and faster, a new symptom of her revelation that complicated her interactions with Azusa.

For her part, Azusa stopped patiently halfway between the door to Yui's classroom and the next one, waiting for her senpai to finish repeating herself. "I see," she responded vaguely without facing her senpais. "I wasn't sure if she was serious about that or not."

A huff was the first sound Mio chose to make since Azusa appeared. "She's only serious about things that inconvenience everyone around her. She'll come back when she gets bored of not practicing, or when she gets hungry for Mugi-chan's confections." The air of confidence about Mio's words matched poorly with the hint of worry in her tone. "She better come back soon, that baka. She and Mugi-chan have a lot of explaining to do."

Azusa and Yui exchanged a look, both remembering the reason Ritsu had taken off in the first place. Neither found the words to approach the conflict before the bell interrupted their meeting. Azusa gasped. "Shoot, I'm gonna be late. We'll definitely meet after school, okay Yui-senpai? Excuse me."

Placated by Azusa's acquiescence, Yui nodded eagerly. Azusa rewarded her senpai with a small smile and a wave before walking away briskly as Mio thoughtfully looked on. The halls started to bloom with life as the pair watched their kouhai disappear, neither finding an appropriate reason to return to their classroom immediately. Right as Azusa rounded the corner and vanished from sight, Mr. Horigome appeared at the door, glancing around suspiciously. When his eyes met the perky senior's, he sighed. "I thought I heard someone, but I suppose I'm going senile faster than you're learning anything in my class. Ah, forget it. Normally you'd have cleaning duty, but that wouldn't be fair to my top student, so thank her for caring more about your future than you do. Go get the homework from the blonde one before I change my mind," the man gruffly ordered. "And try to pay attention tomorrow, will you? I'm not giving you another chance this week, and Ms. Yamanaka won't be able to cover for you forever." Without bothering to wait for a response, the teacher stalked off in the same direction Azusa had left in.

Pointlessly waving her teacher off with a thanks for his mercy, Yui made to return to her class 3-2, only for Mio to cut off her reentry. Her presence had grown heavier since Azusa left, the nonchalance in her expression a cunning guise for the pressure Yui felt in the moment their eyes met. While most would be intimidated, Yui only felt worry for the reasoning behind her friend's discontent, the need to help sending useless adrenaline through her body. "I'd like to know something, before we go back in," Mio requested, playing with her hands.

Tragically, Yui's interpretation of what Mio wanted to know led her to the absolutely worst possible conclusion. It was a common misconception among the lovesick that their disease was wildly contagious. "You should definitely ask Ricchan out!" she exclaimed, giving her friend a thumbs up. "You two would be cute together!"

Mio gave up all the color on her face. Her aura was gone in the blink of an eye, replaced by some mix of disbelief and lingering frustration. It was the sort of look Yui saw on Mio when she held back from slacking off with the rest of the band despite obviously wanting to. Azusa had a similar reaction to Yui's hugs, at least as far as Yui was concerned. "It's not like that, Yui," The bassist warned the guitarist, her hands swaying back and forth at her side like they wanted to run away from her. "Was I the only person that baka didn't blab to? For God's sake, how did she think telling you was a good idea? The fan club rumors are one thing, but if even you knew and I didn't… Mou!" She kicked the frame of the door with her heel and proceeded to hop on one foot in pain, regretting the action instantly.

In truth, Yui hadn't given much thought to Tsumugi's revelation. She knew Mio and Ritsu were close, which meant that they were probably couple material. Why that was a massive deal was a hypocritical puzzle to the guitarist. Now truly confused, Yui shook her head. "Eh? No, you've got the wrong idea, Mio-chan. Nobody told me anything about this. I just sorta assumed you two would be cute together. Isn't that how this sort of thing works?"

There was an attempt to eye Yui with suspicion, but the purity of ignorance shook off any accusation Mio could scream out silently with her glare. The dust of Yui's question settled with Mio's huff of defeat as she placed her hands together in a prayer formation. "God help you, Azusa-chan."

Finishing her prayer before Yui could ask what that probably rude gesture meant, Mio refocused on the point. "Alright, Yui-chan. I can't believe you'd keep a secret like this for hours, let alone years, so I'll believe you. That being said, you need to believe me when I tell you that the only thing that kept me connected to that idiot all this time is her need for a tutor. I'm not…like that." Yui's silence caused Mio to quickly blush and justify herself. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, it's perfectly fine, I just don't feel, ah, it's just that, um, well, mou, never mind. You get what I'm trying to say, right?" The way Mio asked that question implied to Yui that Mio desperately needed her to get it.

As the hallway continued to populate itself, Mio shrank back towards the doorway slightly, their silence muffled by the white noise of the passerby. Yui mused over her response, unaware of the tortuous nature of her lack of response. Mio-chan is acting a bit strange. Love is strange too, I understand that. It's hard to describe. Mugi-chan called them kindred spirits? Maybe that's the same thing. Well, that doesn't matter. Mio-chan needs help. "I don't really get it, but will you feel better when Ricchan comes back?" Yui asked. "I miss her already."

To Yui's surprise, Mio smirked, then laughed lightly to herself. The laugh was as refreshing as running through a broken sprinkler on a hot day for Yui. "If I wanted her gone, it'd have happened a long time ago," Mio decided when she calmed down, perhaps a mite more portentous than she meant to sound. "I'll make her pay when she comes back. In any case, your focus should be on Azusa-chan for the moment, shouldn't it?"

The reminder sullied Yui's mood from improving over Mio's recovery. Her head drooped a little as she took a half-step backwards uncertainty. Having Mio be the one to tell her she needed to do something made the looming meeting terrifyingly real in her head. "Ne, Mio-chan, I need to apologize to you and the others again for yesterday. I messed up."

"You did," Mio harshly replied, crossing her arms and stepping out from the door frame once more. "But apologizing over the phone yesterday was enough. You shouldn't have tried to, ah, confess in front of everyone, especially after yesterday morning, but it's not your fault things escalated the way they did. Just…" The bassist trailed off, contemplative as she searched Yui's brown eyes for the next thing to say.

Hanging on every piece of advice Mio was willing to offer, Yui leaned in closer, reclaiming the ground she had sacrificed. She was millimeters from tipping over and crashing into Mio when the bassist finished her sentence. "Just, whatever happens, please try to understand where Azusa-chan's coming from. Can you promise me that?"

The proposal did little for Yui's nerves. Her mind was racing towards conclusions Mio's words implied that she didn't want to consider. It was going to be infinitely harder for Yui to bare her soul to Azusa if she was entertaining the possibility of failure. It didn't help that Yui's support system was going to be absent for her second attempt. "I felt like I needed to have you all there, to support me," Yui admitted, fiddling with her yellow hairclip. "Now I get that that was weird, but I really wasn't sure if I would be strong enough to tell Azu-nyan about how I feel about her if you all weren't there. I've never been this nervous before, but I can't not take a chance on this, not when being honest has kept us together this long. I have faith in Azu-nyan and everyone." Yui had to remove her hand when it began tugging incessantly at her hair.

Mio tilted her head, incredulous at Yui's vulnerability "You of all people shouldn't have to worry about being nervous. I've never known you to get cold feet over anything you've decided to do." Yui's downcast expression inspired Mio to quickly change her tune again. "I know things are changing, Yui-chan. Mugi-chan seems hellbent on making sure of that. I just want to warn you to be ready to accept the consequences of your actions, like you did yesterday. It's only the band's business if you let it affect our practices, or what passes for them anyways."

Without noticing, Yui found that her fists had become clenched, a memory of one of Azusa's comments resurfacing. I'm not always carefree. I get nervous too, though I guess I haven't shown them that side of Yui very often. I shouldn't complain about that. Happy Yui is good for everyone, including me. More importantly, Mio-chan is right. "I don't want to make people upset, and the way I did things yesterday upset everyone," Yui responded. "You all needed to know, because we affect each other, but I went about it the wrong way. Mugi-chan and Sawa-chan made it clear that we affect each other. I can't do this if I know I'm hurting my friends over it, so I'll do it right this time. I'm sorry." The guitarist bowed slightly.

Formality surprised Mio, while mentioning Tsumugi brought a frown to her face. "You're not the one who should be apologizing for hurting your friends," Mio corrected. "If Ritsu really felt that way, she should have told me, so it wouldn't come out like this. And Mugi-chan shouldn't have covered this up for so long. I can't believe they'd turn heel on each other so suddenly. Just when I'm starting to figure things out, they had to go and poke holes in our future. Now I don't know what to do." The bassist allowed her body to collide against the wall behind her with a thud.

There was nothing of use running through Yui's mind at the moment. Things were tangled between deciding what to say to Azusa, worrying over how she was going to keep the band together with Mio and the others in such precarious positions, and remembering what Ui had put in her lunch. Having already bequeathed her future plans to a technically unknowing Mio, it was unsettling to see her so indecisive. "Why don't we just ask Mugi-chan?" Yui suggested, defaulting to strength in numbers. "She's smart too. I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

The bassist shook her head violently, creating a black whirlpool around her head for a brief instant. "Were you listening? She's part of the problem. Are you really okay with what she might have been doing behind our backs?"

"I believe I've been rather up front about everything, Mio-chan," Tsumugi interrupted from behind Mio's back.

Mio jumped a solid meter into the air while Yui simply nodded thoughtfully, having been facing the door Tsumugi came out of. "Mugi-chan, what are you doing behind our backs?" Yui interrogated. "Face our fronts!"

Tsumugi couldn't immediately respond to that order if she wanted to. Even Mio gave her friend a deadpan look as Tsumugi struggled to find an answer. "Ah… yes? My only interests are that of the band's future. If I did something without telling you immediately, it was for the good of the band. Are you two alright? The next class will be starting soon. We should get inside." Motioning suggestively towards the door, Tsumugi made way for her friends to rejoin the class.

Rebounding from her scare, Mio eyed Tsumugi suspiciously. "How does confessing on behalf of Ritsu constitute acting for the good of the band?" she accused. "All you did is rile the baka up, not to mention Azusa-chan's-" Mio silenced herself as her eyes cut back to Yui for an instant.

Shrugging off the awkward ending to Mio's statement, Tsumugi motioned towards the door again, a bit more insistently. "I'd very much like to discuss it further with you, but we don't have much time at the moment. In brief, I believe that by saying nothing, Ritsu is voluntarily forfeiting her desired future with the intent to avoid later heartbreak. Everything I've done has been for the sake of the band, Mio-chan. I'm going to see our family into the future together." A determination Tsumugi rarely displayed shone in her tranquil blue eyes, aweing Yui and worrying Mio.

Mio stepped back into the classroom turning to face Tsumugi once she had made it a few paces in. She spoke once more as Yui followed, her voice hushed to avoid the attention of the rest of the distracted class. "Clearly you don't speak for all of us. If that's how you feel, then apologize to Ritsu and Azusa-chan after this one gets done with her so we can stop playing these dumb games and get around to handling the real problems we'll be dealing with in March." As she whispered harshly, she jerked a thumb towards the girl entering the room nearby.

"This isn't a fairy tale, Mio-chan," Tsumugi whispered over Yui's question of what Mio meant in calling her out. "I want to apologize, but if I do that now, then nothing will change, because the apology would be disingenuous. This isn't how I'd like to do things, but I will do what I have to in order to maintain HTT as it is, even if it feels wrong. Your plan has to be accepted by everyone of their own volition. There can be no lingering regrets that would destroy what we've spent so much time building together if we're to survive."

As one might suspect, whispering suspiciously in the front of the room was only making the girls' classmates more interested in what was going on. Well aware of the power of Sakuragaoka high's rumor mill, Tsumugi directed her friends towards her seat as Yui mused guiltily over the unmistakable hostility her friends were displaying. Is this my fault too, for wanting to confess? Mugi-chan didn't tell me to do that, I don't think, but Mio-chan won't believe me. I shouldn't be wondering about love when my best friends are fighting. But I can't stop thinking about what to do about Azu-nyan. Yui's temper reached a boiling point as she stamped a foot on the ground to call attention to herself. "Mou, can't you all just cut it out?!" she whined. "Friends shouldn't fight over dumb stuff!"

The outburst quashed the terse conversation between the two long-haired members of the band. Anyone who wasn't observing the three Light Music Club members or was pretending not to now gave them their undivided attention. Tsumugi and Mio exchanged a look as they took in Yui's exasperation. "I'm sorry, Yui-chan," Mio spoke first, aware of the eyes on her. "We're not trying to upset you."

"It's my fault, isn't it?" Yui asked, dropping her tone to an uneven normal. "This is because I want to tell Azu-nyan how I feel. If I hadn't dragged you all into that situation, you wouldn't be fighting right now."

Tsumugi shook her head around Mio frantically trying to signal Yui to not make Azusa's life hell with her words. "Conflict and change feed off of and grow from each other, Yui-chan. This argument would have happened at some point."

Realizing that Yui had no idea what Mio was doing, the bassist recovered by nodding to herself. "At the least, it's not your fault, Yui-chan. You're right though. We shouldn't be doing this here. We should table this until everything has settled down a little and everyone's present to discuss our next move. I think we would all benefit by taking the time to make sure our band is on the same page. I haven't been thinking quite straight of late either. At least I'm not eavesdropping on my classmates out of boredom." The last line was spoken far louder than the others, and inspired most of the class to turn away, ashamed.

To both Mio and Yui's surprise, Tsumugi nodded in agreement. "That sounds wonderful. Let's do that as soon as Ricchan comes back." Tsumugi sat in her seat in time with the next teacher arriving, forcing Mio and Yui to scamper to their own seats.

Yui wasn't sure how to properly interpret the current situation as the third period began, but Mio and Tsumugi no longer looked like they wanted to slug each other, so Yui was placated. With one problem temporarily tabled, Yui allowed herself to refocus on the matter of the coming afternoon. The next class garnered as much interest from the senior as the previous two, the main difference being her English teacher didn't mind her listlessly staring out the window. Classes bled into a lunch period that Yui spent on the roof, if only to have a peaceful shore for her raging nerves to harmlessly wash up against. She received no complaints from her friends, only stoic encouragement that Yui furiously berated herself for questioning the meaning behind. She wanted desperately to take their smiles at face value, but Mio's comments and her questions surrounding Tsumugi kept her goodwill at bay. The best she could settle for was giving them her own practiced smile as she hid the anxiety clawing at her over her next action. This isn't me. I trust my friends, and Azu-nyan. Even if it's a long shot like they think, I have to try. I have to believe that things will work out as long as I give it my all. Our strength comes from these feelings. Until things are really normal again, I have to get strength from that.

Between her band's precarious peace and her meeting at the end of the day, Yui was somewhere between exploding and taking a nap by the time school let out. Though coming to the roof in previous days had done wonders to clear her head, Yui was well aware that there was only one thing that was going to ease the burdens plaguing her conscious. Like a daydream, the school day ended in the blink of an eye, and Yui was left without enough time to even decide what she was going to say to Azusa. Rising from her seat, exchanging informal goodbyes and words of encouragement with her friends, none of it felt real. Yui could feel her heart attempting to drag her anywhere but where she was walking. Why am I so nervous? Yui doesn't get nervous. It's just Azu-nyan. I was fine with doing this yesterday. Is it really because we're alone? Do I really depend on everyone that much? No. I have to be mature Yui. They have to see that I can be mature, especially Azu-nyan. I'm coming, Azu-nyan! Determined, Yui threw open the door to the clubroom confidently, a physical declaration of her intentions announcing her entrance. What Yui hadn't prepared for was her kouhai beating her to the clubroom. Azusa sat pensively on the clubroom's couch while tuning her guitar. When the door was assaulted, she glanced up just in time to look away again, the bashful nature of her reaction coming off as rather cute to her senpai. "Good afternoon, senpai," Azusa greeted formally, though a crack in her voice gave Yui a peek into where Azusa's head was at. "H-how are you?"

Yui plastered on a smile for her junior, taking solace in the fact that her kouhai was nervous too. The idea forming in her head to tackle Azusa outright to erase the tension both girls were feeling was thankfully stopped just in time by her brain. Tact was the only way she was going to win over her kouhai in this situation, her brain chided for her. Succeeding in not ruining things before they began, Yui nodded politely and set her bag down next to Azusa's, taking the time to look around the clubroom as she did. I never really thought about how much time we spend in here. Snacks at the table, doodles on the whiteboard, wasting time staring out the windows with Ton-chan, lounging on the couch, playing in front of the chalkboard… I've seen all these memories before, but they feel so important now. I really do love this club. But that's not why I'm here today. Noticing that she had been crouching by her bags far longer than she needed to, Yui rose, hoping her expression could placate both girls' anxiety. "Hello, Azu-nyan. Did I keep you waiting long?" Though the urge to take out her own guitar was gnawing at her, Yui mustered the tremendous amount of self-restraint necessary to wait until she knew what her kouhai wanted.

"No, senpai," Azusa denied, flinching as her fingernail caught one of her strings. "Are you ready to practice? I wouldn't mind if we chatted a bit first, or spoke over tea, even." The invitation would have been enough for Yui on any other day, but the hitch in Azusa's voice and her lack of composure gave the senior pause.

On the surface, Yui was staring at the normal, strict, serious Azusa, but there were several tells that gave her away as being a nervous wreck. Her feet played with each other nervously, the way Yui's did when she was daydreaming, though for Azusa it usually indicated restlessness. Her eyes wandered everywhere in the room but Yui, her defenses completely open for a hug that Yui knew she trained Azusa to be better prepared for. Most damning was the fact that Azusa had been tuning her G string ever since Yui came in, and was still testing it, despite being perfectly in tune. She's on edge. I guess it makes sense that she'd be nervous too, but why? Azu-nyan isn't confessing, I am. Well, I can't be careless this time though. That's how everyone ended up fighting. I don't want Azu-nyan to suffer. Once this one thing changes, I just want everyone to play together, like normal. The word had grown stale for Yui as she rolled it over in her head. Normal. This isn't normal Light Music Club time. Mio-chan, Sawa-chan, Mugi-chan, Azu-nyan and even Ricchan said we weren't normal. Maybe then, the solution isn't normal either. I don't want to do this alone. But Azu-nyan's here. That's enough, isn't it? A strong urge to flee with her kouhai in tow and escape the situation washed over Yui, a paradox she hardly noticed as her hands started to shake outside Azusa's vision.

Nodding once to steady herself, Yui shouldered her bag once more and faced a puzzled Azusa confidently. "Azu-nyan, let's go somewhere else. This isn't supposed to be a club activity." I'll figure out what to say on the way. That's how performances work, ne?

Unused to being slower on the uptake than her senpai, Azusa frowned. "Eh? Where? What about practicing? Wouldn't that make things easier? What about the others?" Questions tumbled from the kouhai that Yui struggled to keep up with.

"The others are probably on the way home by now. This is between Azu-nyan and Yui, not Giita and Muttan. Besides, don't you want to do something fun?" The pitch was childish, but any tune above the lowest level of diplomacy wasn't a chord Yui knew how to play.

The sound of Azusa's guitar faded out smoothly, as if it was appreciating hearing its name. "You know I don't like you bringing up Muttan's name," Azusa complained, running a finger over her guitar's neck. "Shouldn't we just talk things over if you don't want to practice? I think we both know what you want to say, and-"

Unwilling to allow Azusa to continue what was probably a logical explanation, Yui hushed her kouhai. "Azu-nyan, I'm not going to mess this up again like yesterday. At least give me the chance to show you I can do this right, please?" Yui held out a hand invitingly towards her kouhai.

For a moment, Yui was scared that Azusa was going to completely reject her right there. She knew she was taking a risk by so drastically pushing Azusa out of her comfort zone, but Yui could feel within herself that, if she tried to speak now, the words were sure to come out wrong. I need to figure out what to say just as much as I need to show Azu-nyan what I'm saying. Azusa cautiously took Yui's hand, allowing herself to be pulled up to a standing position with her guitar. "Alright, we'll do it your way for now. But I'm not going to let you forget why we're here, you got that?" she cautioned her beaming senpai. "Where are we going?"

Yui blinked, realizing she didn't have an answer to that question. Azusa's curiosity melted into disappointment as Yui gave her a blank stare. "You don't know, do you, senpai?" she accused, pulling her hand away to store her guitar in its bag.

"We're going somewhere fun!" Yui insisted, hoping she wasn't lying. "Just, ah, let me tell Ui real quick so she doesn't worry!"

As Yui furiously texted her sister for good dating spot ideas, Azusa picked up her bags with an air of exasperation. "Why would Ui-chan need to know what we're doing?" she muttered to herself.

Within seconds, Ui came through, and Yui had a plan again. When Yui looked up, Azusa was waiting by the door, holding Yui's school bag in her free hand. The keychain on the bag that combined with the other member's keychains to spell out Light Music Club caught the sunlight and created a beacon to beckon Yui forwards. Yui found a smile gracing her as her kouhai dutifully held her bag out to her airhead of a senpai. It's cute how seriously she takes everything. That's a reason we couldn't do this here. I need you to see me as Yui, not Yui-senpai. You deserve to relax after everything you've had to deal with, little kitty. Yui can do that just as well as Yui-senpai can. Walking to the door, Yui took Azusa's hand and held onto it as she transferred her bag to her back with her guitar bag.

Azusa shifted a little but didn't attempt to break out of her senpai's grip. Taking the reaction as positive, Yui's smile grew with her confidence. "Alright, let's go!" she declared, taking off and practically dragging her kouhai out the door and down the stairs.

The duo made it all the way to the front of the school before being unceremoniously halted. In the back of her mind, Yui had suspected that Azusa would have yanked her hand free from her senpai's much sooner, but only as they reached their shoe lockers did it become taut. Straggler students filed out around the pair as Yui questioned Azusa's trepidation with bright eyes. "Sorry. Let's go," Azusa mumbled, her voice engulfed by the effulgent distractions that were the surrounding conversations.

Azusa passed by her senpai and opened her shoe locker, leaving Yui with the impression that someone had just stared through her soul. The way Azusa was carrying herself wasn't anything close to the nerves of a flustered girl dancing the dance of romance for the first time, or even the excitement of a friend going to hang out with her friends. Azusa's presence was solemn, determined even, and Yui couldn't even begin to fathom why. It was usually fun not knowing exactly what her kouhai was thinking, as it made talking more interesting to the senior. Reading her kouhai's thoughts was often too arduous a task for the senior to even attempt, but for the moment, she put in the effort as she exchanged her own shoes. Think, brain. Azu-nyan is carrying herself like she's about to take an exam she didn't study for. The whole point of this trip is to get Azu-nyan to think about just the two of us, if only for one afternoon. If she only looks at things in context of the band, she won't realize what I realized. Finishing her shoe transition, Yui began to sneak up on her kouhai. Well, there's only one solution for getting Azu-nyan to relax. As soon as Azusa attempted to turn to face her senpai's poor attempt at stealth, Yui seized the younger guitarist in a bear hug, lifting her an inch or two off the ground. "Azu-nyan energy!" Yui declared proudly, showing off her source of energy to the school.

After a brief struggle, Azusa managed to worm her way out of her senpai's grip, slapping her senpai's cheek in the process. "Senpai, how many times have I told you not to do that? I should have brought that joy buzzer. Mou, people are staring at us now." When called out, the passerby who had been observing the interaction moved along complacently, their whispers ensuring that Azusa would never hear the end of this in class tomorrow.

Yui frowned. Her attempt at loosening the stiffness between the two of them had only gone one way. There was her patented special move, but she doubted she'd be able to pat Azusa on the head long enough for her to calm down before she could be violently rejected. Azusa noticed her senpai's indecisiveness when she started to walk out the front door alone. "Senpai, come on. It'll be dark soon, and I have homework to finish tonight. Let's not dawdle."

There was only one correct response to that summons in Yui's mind, but she found herself stuck to the floor. Maybe Azu-nyan really doesn't like me that way. I know I'm not supposed to think like that, but maybe it's not just embarrassment. She's still seeing me as her senpai. "Call me Yui," Yui declared, crossing her arms in a pout.

"Eh? No. That's disrespectful," Azusa responded, crossing her own arms. "Come on, senpai, this whole relocation thing was your idea."

Despite Azusa's growing impatience, Yui's childlike obstinacy held firm. "It's not disrespectful if I'm telling you to do it, Azu-nyan. You've done it before." I have to change something. She has to talk to Yui, not Yui-senpai. Whether the two were actually different wasn't a problem Yui had the mental capability to solve, nor was she trying. All her focus was on her kouhai in the moment.

Thinking back to what Yui was talking about, Azusa blushed. She abandoned her post at the doorway and marched right into Yui's face. Yui felt herself blush bashfully at the sudden change in proximity, though Azusa didn't notice. "Yui-senpai, that was an accident. Can we just go? I'm uncomfortable with all these people watching us."

It became apparent that Yui-senpai would be needed to get Azusa where she was going before Yui could take over. Yui's taboo on movement was broken as she placed a reassuring hand on her kouhai's shoulder. "Take your time, Azu-nyan. When you say my name, we'll have our talk. Until then, just follow me, okay?" Taking the pressure off of herself wasn't the kindest thing Yui could have done, but anything that allowed her to move again was worth it in the moment.

Eventually, Azusa sighed and nodded to herself. "Alright, fine. Where are we going?"

Yui allowed herself to giggle, forgetting the point of her trip almost as soon as she turned her attention to their destination. "It's a surprise!"

Muttering about how it always felt like a surprise, Azusa followed Yui out the front door. Had Yui happened to look at her kouhai as she spoke, she would have noticed the traitorous smile forming on her kouhai's face at the thought.

---

November 16th, 1 hour later

"This is your big surprise?" Azusa wondered aloud in disbelief. "I don't know why I was expecting something different."

"Mou, make it sound like you don't have any faith in me," Yui whined, nudging her kouhai playfully. "You're telling me you don't like the mall?"

A long walk to her destination had done wonders for Yui's nerves, as well as completely exhausted her. In addition to lugging her schoolbags around, she had found herself covering every conceivable conversation topic she knew in an attempt to loosen the stiffness in her kouhai's shoulders. Keeping Azusa engaged and out of her own head was a marathon sprint Yui hadn't adequately trained for. There was only so much she could say about strawberries on cake before Azusa berated her for thinking of nothing but food. When she had originally targeted the mall at Ui's suggestion, she hadn't accounted for how far away from the school it was. Admittedly, stopping to pet every dog she saw wasn't doing wonders for their arrival time. "I just didn't expect to be travelling so far," Azusa admitted, adjusting the straps on her bag. "We don't have much time before we need to head back."

Both girls would frequent the town mall on their days off, but neither had found the time to go since the festival, with friends or otherwise. Under more traditional conditions, the bustling of passerby would muddle the imposing nature of such a large amalgamation of storefronts, but the unfriendly cold reduced foot traffic enough for the girls to truly appreciate Yui's chosen location. "We should hurry, then! I want food!" Yui declared, starting off towards the nearest restaurant.

"Hold it," Azusa commended, matching Yui's pace. "You have money, right senpai? Or a plan? Preferably both?"

Smirking, Yui whipped out her purse and showed off a small fold of bills. "I got my allowance this morning!" she boasted, her pride masking the significant decrease in pay she normally received. "And don't worry about it! We'll find out where we're supposed to be when we get there together!" This concept was unfathomable to the strait-laced kouhai, but she wasn't the one leading the way at the moment.

Surrounding herself with novel sights and sounds was an effective means of pulling Yui's attention from her problems, and Azusa was unfortunate enough to be close enough to Yui to be pulled with her. Ui probably hadn't suggested the mall with the intent of relieving Yui's tenseness, but having so many fun things to do was doing exactly that for the older guitarist. Of course, she couldn't completely forget about the younger guitarist she was dragging with her. Their first stop, a department store that had shoved Yui's hunger to the back of her mind, had nearly kicked them out after Yui spent half an hour trying on outfits she had no possible means of purchasing. The embarrassment Azusa showed when they shamefully retreated was worth the smile Yui had seen when she convinced her kouhai to try on a dress or three. Their next stop was a diner where Yui had her fill of various sweets and Azusa subsisted on coffee and what she begrudgingly accepted from Yui's portions. What they talked about was unknown to Yui, who was too wrapped up in the moment to remember it. As long as Azusa appeared to be enjoying herself, Yui didn't feel the need to slow down. They made a trip to the hardware store where Azusa had to drag her senpai away before she could purchase Ton's long lost brother with the last of her funds. Store after store followed, each one selling more useless trinkets and eye candy than the last as the sun sank below the buildings looming over the mall. Aside from a music store that Azusa insisted they boycott, the pair investigated nearly every curious-looking shop they came across, a scavenger hunt where the only objective was to find something interesting. The two became lost in a jungle of commerce, and even Azusa found herself getting swept up in the wonder of exploration as the pair scoured the streets for the next fancy sign that would catch Yui's eye. Without the pressure to act, Yui felt free, her feet flying across a concrete stage where only her performance and her partner's performance mattered. Somewhere along the line, Yui realized that she felt like herself for the first time since the festival, and the thought comforted her.

It was as the pair was purchasing seasonally inappropriate, yet cheap ice cream from a parlor right before it closed that Yui saw the easy smile fall from Azusa's face once more. She wanted to question her kouhai as she handed her her vanilla cone, but she already had a good idea of what she was thinking about. Is this it? Did I do enough? It was fun. Azu-nyan definitely had fun. What should I do now? Is this the part where I… Reality had no qualms with smacking Yui upside the head with her task.

Against the fading sunlight, Azusa and Yui walked silently with their cones. Both had a sense of what was coming, but neither had the desire to move past the moment they had created together just yet. "This was a better idea than practicing," Azusa admitted between licks. "I didn't realize how stressed out I was until you made me relax a little, so thanks, senpai."

Yui winked, her mouth full of strawberry ice cream. "Iths nou pro-" she swallowed, gasping a little at the lump of cold travelling down her throat. "It's no problem, Azu-nyan. All part of the plan!"

"Uh-huh," Azusa suspiciously responded around a small smile. "I'll believe that when Ton-chan says it himself."

The pair soldiered on, making similar small talk right up to the other side of the mall they had entered from. Their cones were emptied and consumed, leaving an unsettling air between the two as they walked side by side. Eventually, Azusa took the lead for the first time since they arrived and faced her senpai, a resolute expression on her face. "Yui," she whispered, before shaking her head once. "Yui," she repeated, a bit more sharply.

Freezing up, Yui stared incredulously at her kouhai. She found herself absorbing every detail of her kouhai in the moment she heard her name, taking a snapshot in her mind to prove it existed. "Azu-nyan?" Yui responded, her voice giving nothing away. "You have ice cream on your face."

Wiping the offending material off quickly, Azusa refused to be deterred any longer. "I'm ready to talk now. This was the deal, right?"

In that moment, Yui remembered the agreement she had made that had allowed her to relax the entire afternoon. "I'm not sure," Yui admitted, rubbing the back of her head gently. "What do you want me to say?"

Azusa pinched the bridge of her nose, her expression committing to a terse frown. "Please don't tell me you forgot about what you said before we left. This was the whole point of this, ah, outing. Tell me you remember, please."

Yui glanced around, as if her surroundings had an answer for her. Dashing into another store wasn't an option when the two of them were on a bridge. Steel barred railings entrapped her on both sides. The sunset's gleam was caught by the river below, igniting the pale yellow flowers blooming on both banks of the river and giving Yui the impression that she was standing over a river of raging fire. This eliminated the option of jumping off the bridge. Though Azusa didn't have much stamina, she was in far better shape than her lazy senpai, which eliminated simply fleeing. Wait, I shouldn't be trying to run. This is what I wanted, ne? This has to be the right time. Focus time, Yui. Azu-nyan's right there! You wanted to feel like yourself, right? Treat this like the meeting. You can do this! "I remember, I'm just nervous," Yui confessed, pursing her lips and shoving her hands into her pockets to prevent them from wandering off. "This is all new to me. It's confusing, going alone."

To Yui's relief, Azusa didn't follow her senpai's example from earlier in the day. "Then let's get this done quickly," she ordained. "Say what you need to say, senpai. I'm listening." Though it came off as a bit curt, Yui could tell that Azusa at least trying to do what she thought was the right thing, in her own cute sort of way.

A resolve Yui had been searching for ever since discovering the truth within herself finally appeared, guiding her thoughts and words. "Today was fun. You had fun, ne, Azu-nyan?" Yui started, her gaze locked with the flaming cinders reflected in Azusa's orange-tinted eyes.

Azusa couldn't have looked away if she wanted to, but she was just as interested in retreating now as her senpai was. Yui's entire body began to heat up as the fire raged around them, the sun less than a half-circle over the river. "Of course, Yui-senpai. I was annoyed at first, and several other times, but it was fun, too."

Hearing those words was equivalent to a mountain climber reaching a peak after days of arduous climbing. Yui let out a breath she'd been withholding from the air between herself and Azusa, leaning over on the railing amidst Azusa's confusion at the reaction. "That's… great. That's wonderful, Azu-nyan." She cocked her head and grinned across one side of her face. "That means we're dating now!"

Having made the mistake of thinking she'd be prepared for anything Yui could possibly say, Azusa paid the price of dropping her school bag on her foot. The headlights of a passing car ignited the scene, burning away even the fire surrounding the younger girl as she was stunned out of feeling the pain of dropping her heavy bag on herself. Tiny clumps of snow sprang up from the impact site, landing on the road and what parts of Azusa's shoes weren't covered by the bag. Her guitar case was spared only by the fact that it was attached to Azusa's back without needing the assistance of her hands. The stalemate between Azusa and movement lasted long enough for Yui to understand that Azusa's response wasn't going to belay the dimming of her future prospects she dreaded. "Yui-senpai, I've said it before, but I guess I haven't been clear enough. That's my fault, I suppose. I'll try again. We're just friends. We're not going to kick this can down the road anymore. I don't want what you want, and you know that. I think you've known that, and you just don't want to admit it, but that's how it is. I'm sorry."

"I know what you say we are, but I think we could be something better," Yui posited softly, taking a small step forward. "Azu-nyan, you're special to me. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I couldn't just ignore the problems until they went away. The answer I found was that I really love the Light Music Club, and everyone in it. You were different though. You're better at giving me energy than anyone I know. Today was a lot of fun. I want to have fun like that all the time, don't you?"

As soon as she tossed the question at the kouhai, Azusa broke the stare between the girls, kneeling down to retrieve her bag. Just that implicit distance between them was enough to make Yui feel cold for the first time that day. In the back of her mind, she was bothered by how desperately she felt as if she needed to hear Azusa's positive response, but the voice was too small to be heard amidst the inferno under the bridge. "Let's back up," Azusa suggested, shaking some feeling back into her foot as she stood up once more. "You know what you're talking about when you say dating, right? More than friends. What we just did is what friends do all the time. Hanging out, talking, even the hugging, I suppose. I don't see what you're trying to get out of this."

Fervent nodding almost gave Yui a crick in her neck. "I'm serious, Azu-nyan. I mean, it's not like I understand everything, but I want to be close to you. It's not just today, though today was great. Hanging out with just you makes me just as happy as hanging out with everyone combined and more. It's been like that for a while, I just haven't thought about it seriously until now. I don't know exactly what kind of love that is, but I want to find out. I want to be able to make you as happy as you make me, Azu-nyan."

The answer failed to eradicate Azusa's frown as she listened to her senpai's plea. "Well, that's a start, for someone like you," Azusa mused to herself, slinging her school bag onto her shoulder. "But you have to think about the future, senpai. What you're proposing-"

"I am!" Yui shouted, stamping her foot on the ground. "Azu-nyan, I've done nothing but think about the future since the festival! No, it was before that. This has been on my mind since I realized we can't stay together forever, and nothing I tried could get me to stop thinking about it. The only thing that's helped has been being honest with myself about what I want, about who I am to you all. I'm supposed to know what I'm doing with my life in the next few months, and I can't even wake up in time to get dressed and get to school without Ui's help. My own parents don't think I'm mature enough to decide my own career path. The people I care about the most are going to be gone after March, Azu-nyan. I just want a future where things can stay the way they are forever, where I can be with you and the others in a band. If that's wrong, then fate is doing things wrong." The world was wholly uninterested in Yui's reckless accusation, purples and lavenders beginning to overtake the more violent reds and oranges as the sky's color changed despite her input.

Tilting her head a little, Azusa's face contorted with worry. "There's nothing we can do about fate, senpai. We have to play with the cards we were dealt. If it means anything, you handled the last part of yesterday really well. I know you can grow up and be mature when you need to, even if you don't want to. The core of this problem is that you're all graduating and I'm not. We have to accept that that's where this discussion should start and end." At Azusa's claim, the streetlights flickered on around the girls, evidently set to some sort of timer rather than the amount of light present.

Getting caught in the brilliant shower of light had a sobering effect on Yui. The blazing fires raging under her began to douse themselves, returning to normal flower fields. Azusa herself continued to shine, bathed in fluorescent light like an angel without wings. Yui was awed. From her perspective, it was as if all the confusing sounds, sights and smells had coagulated and contained themselves in the girl in front of her. Why does it feel like I'll explode if I try to get close? I'm losing focus. Think, Yui! Azu-nyan has to be wrong! "Why wouldn't you want to at least try, Azu-nyan? Have I really been making you suffer like Jun-chan said? I promise you, I'm serious about this! I can change if you want me to!" Resisting the urge to continue her pleading, Yui settled for squeezing the life out of her guitar straps.

Swept backwards momentarily by Yui's passion, Azusa started, only to recover quickly with a cough. "You haven't made me suffer the way Jun-chan means, senpai. She's upset for, um, other reasons, I think. I've deeply enjoyed my time with you all, and I'd like to explore potential options for the future after my graduation, but we all need to be on the same page for that to work. I overheard you talking about your college plans a few days ago, you know."

Thinking back, Yui wasn't all that surprised. She didn't know why Azusa had chosen to eavesdrop rather than come talk to them, but the question hardly mattered at the moment. "What about it?" she wondered aloud, shifting her weight from one foot to the other in a mix of anticipation and worry.

Turning away, Azusa made her face impossible to see as she leaned on her arms on the railing facing the river. "You don't have any real college plans. You're just going with what the others say, and they made it clear yesterday that they haven't figured out what to do. That worries me." Noting the crestfallen look on her senpai's face, Azusa backpedaled swiftly. "But that doesn't mean they won't figure it out. I know you'll all work something out. What I'm saying is that we don't have a solution that involves me and you being together next year, so I can't do what you're asking me to do for you. Again, I'm sorry, really, but I can't, even if I was insane enough to want to." Realizing how she was coming off, Azusa's head sank a little, her pigtails drooping like impotent fishing lines towards the water.

"But that's why we need to be together more than ever, Azu-nyan! I can't do anything without all of your help. Besides, this shouldn't have anything to do with the band. This is between you and me, isn't it?" Yui took a step forward, bringing the distance between the two to less than a meter and making Azusa's pensive expression visible once more. "I have to be honest to move forward, Azu-nyan. For a while now, I've wanted us to be more than just friends or bandmates. It just took me a long time to figure that out. I'm not very smart, eheh." The poor attempt at self-deprecation did nothing for the mood.

Azusa averted her eyes once more, her voice beginning to catch as it betrayed her wavering resolve. "Yui-senpai, I know. I know, damn it. Everyone has known forever, and I kept putting off addressing it, ignoring it even, because I didn't want to have to tell you the truth in person. I was ignorant, but I can't ignore this any longer. I told you you were strong, so I have to prove it." When Azusa met her senpai's adamant gaze once more, she had burned away the still forming tears in her eyes with the fire stolen from her surroundings. "Yui, I can't be your girlfriend." There was obviously a sentence meant to follow that one, but Azusa's words got caught in her throat, as if her own body was rejecting her actions even after the damage had been done.

Yui blinked, the meaning not quite sinking in right away. In all of her musings over the situation, the word girlfriend hadn't really come up. But that's what I'm asking of her, isn't it? Mugi-chan might have called it that at some point. It wouldn't make sense to call her my boyfriend, I suppose. "Why?" Yui asked, the calm way she received the rejection taking her by surprise.

"I have a list, but I'll keep it short," Azusa explained with none of the usual bite to her tone she reserved for educating her senpai. "For one, you're my senpai, I'm your kouhai. If we aren't that, then I don't know what we are. I can call you Yui all you want, you're never not going to be my senpai to me. I don't want to pretend our time as a band together doesn't matter here, because that's what my best memories of us together are of. There's no way that I can separate the lazy, lovable, savant guitar playing senpai I know and Yui. My personal feelings on the matter don't have any bearing on the facts. No matter what, you're leaving me behind in March. There's no place for romance on the path to success, especially as a musician, and I really believe we could be a success. I want to make a name for myself, to be good enough to play the music we play for stadiums, not auditoriums, and I can't do that with HTT if you're going to put me in front of them. I'm not good at empathy, or all the other things you need to have a healthy relationship. It's hard enough planning and keeping up with myself and what I want to do, so doing it for two people is impossible for me right now. Don't even get me started on your personality quirks." As Azusa listed reason after reason on her fingers, Yui could feel her head beginning to spin, for once not because of confusion.

Noticing her senpai's state of duress, Azusa ended her tangent, shivering a little as a wild gust of wind passed the girls by. The flowers beneath them waved goodbye to the sun, now dangerously close to having fully disappeared. "Hold on," Yui begged, still trying to keep up as her brain threatened a mutiny. "What about college? We talked about going to the same college with Mio-chan and the others, didn't we? Wouldn't that solve the problem?"

"Did you see how that went yesterday?" Azusa retorted, slightly bitterly. "I'd like to clean that up too, but I need your help, as my bandmate. None of us can do this by ourselves. That's how it's always been."

The kouhai offered her senpai a hand as she continued. "It's not what you want, I know, and it kills me to not be able to give you what you really want, but at least let me ensure that HTT and the Light Music Club is survived after this school year ends. It's the least I can do for you all."

Yui stared at her kouhai's hand like she didn't know who it belonged to. It was only as Azusa's fingers started to recoil themselves that Yui seized the hand with both of her own, unwilling to let it out of her grasp. She held the younger girl's hand hostage in between her palms, as if she'd disappear when she was released. "I don't understand," Yui whispered, fighting off tears. "I did everything the way I was supposed to. The bad feelings should go away when I open up about how I'm feeling, Azu-nyan. Why does it hurt so much right now?"

Feeling the younger girl's frigid hand tighten around her own, Azusa sighed. "I'm sorry, senpai. If I had nipped this in the bud sooner, I might have prevented this. The truth is, people our age shouldn't be concerning themselves with frivolous things like romance. Like I said, there's nothing to be gained from it that we don't have already. We should focus on the band and enjoying school life while we can." The physical bond between Yui and Azusa was the only thing holding Yui up as each word shoved her further and further into a dark hole that she couldn't see the bottom of. "I know you can be strong when you need to be. Yesterday, during your meeting, the party, at our performances…" Azusa's words were cut off in a wince as Yui squeezed her hand a bit too hard.

"How do you know everything?!" Yui argued pitifully. "How do you know it's not worth it if you haven't tried it? All I want is a chance. I don't understand. Help me, Azu-nyan. Help me understand." The request bordered on absurd, but Yui had passed the point of rationality several passing cars ago.

Another breeze nudged the two a bit closer together. Yui's wary expression met Azusa's dejected one under the twinkling of the night's first stars. "You know damn well you want more than that, senpai. But I can't do it. I can't be the person you want me to be. I'm just your kouhai, and I'm wasn't even able to say that properly to your face until now. I don't deserve to be around people like you all. I've done nothing to earn that privilege, and yet I don't want to lose it. I'm not okay with that. Please, don't hate me for this." Azusa dislodged her hand from Yui's protective grip, placing it gingerly in her pocket.

It was in this moment that Yui began to understand what Jun actually meant, what all of her friends had been getting at for the last few days, or even weeks. Noting the tears beginning to form on her kouhai once more, Yui instinctively moved to wipe them away with her hand. Azusa flinched, but didn't resist Yui's assistance. She's suffering because of me. Because I'm expecting too much of her? Well that's dumb! Azu-nyan is good enough! If she can't see that, I'll make her see it. "I told you you were good enough, Azu-nyan. Don't you believe me?"

"How could I?" Azusa countered, drying her own eyes. "It's not about me, damn it! We have to think about our futures! If you hadn't singled me out, none of this would even be happening. You treat me like I'm special when I'm not. You're only making things harder on yourselves and the others by sticking with me. If you factor out feelings, the right answer is blatantly obvious here. I'm not allowed to feel the way you do, senpai, so leave it at that. Show me the strength I know you have."

Azusa's cutting words tore at Yui's heart. Factor out? What is she talking about? I thought this was supposed to be an all emotions decision. It doesn't matter. I was wrong. Azusa suffered because of me. I've failed her time and time again, but this is the worst. Everyone's fighting, and Azusa doesn't like me, and I-I-I Yui's mind finally short circuited, having overdrawn what little energy remained available to her as she attempted and failed to find a positive in her current situation.

Autopilot took over for Yui, pulling her towards her kouhai and energy. Azusa accepted the embrace without question, but there was no energy exchanged. As Yui struggled to find the power Azusa spoke of, she felt like she was trying to fill a colander with water. "I'm so tired, Azusa," Yui whispered into her kouhai's ear. "I'm sorry, too. I've done nothing but foist my problems on you and the others since the festival. I thought you really wanted what I did, so I guess I foisted that on you too. I'm sorry I don't know what to say to make you understand how I feel. I'm sorry I hurt everyone, including you. I just wanted, ah, wanted… wanted…" Yui felt her eyelids begin to droop.

The stress of the situation began to demand its toll from Yui all at once, her overexcited nerves shutting down in droves as she sank deeper into her kouhai's arms. "Senpai?" Azusa asked, panic edging into her tone. "Are you okay? Yui-senpai?"

Yui knew she should probably stay awake for Azusa's sake, but she couldn't seem to muster the energy necessary to do so. Her vision began to look as dark as the night sky, her grip loosening as her body was sapped of strength. Everything was darker when her friends weren't around, and knowing that there was nothing she could do only made things get darker faster. As Yui teetered on the brink of consciousness, she became aware of another familiar presence arriving, removing her from her kouhai and supporting her with her shoulders. Had she the energy to do so, Yui would have protested this, but all she could manage was a groggy groan of discontent. "Just relax, Onee-chan," came a voice from somewhere close to Yui. "I'll take care of things from here."

---

November 16th, Nighttime at the Nakano Household

Takumi Nakano placed his now empty glass on the coaster in front of him. He had a bad habit of getting to the bottom of a drink before he ever came close to getting to the bottom of the problem he was supposed to be solving over it. Shifting his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he leaned back on his living room couch. "I need another drink," he told the ceiling. "Rin, I need another drink."

"The kitchen is that way," Mrs. Nakano helpfully responded from a nearby chair with a point towards the hallway. "Go get me one while you're up."

"So you can steal the couch while I'm gone?" the father accused playfully. "I think not. This couch is the only sanctuary I have after work."

"Don't be so melodramatic, dear," Rin scoffed. "We're here to talk, not drink. I'm sure Azusa's asleep by now. Poor thing could barely stand when she got home."

Mr. Nakano sat up on the black couch, noting with discontent the stale nature of the air around him. "We should be here to dust. Has it been that long since we've had guests?"

Mrs. Nakano shrugged. "I hate dusting, and anyone who's rude enough to comment on it isn't worth our time." For a moment, that statement hung proudly in the air, long enough for Mr. Nakano to shoot a doubtful glare at his wife. "Okay, fine, I got lazy since we don't have anything scheduled this month. Sue me later."

Picking up his glass once more, Takumi swirled the lonely ice cubes around a few times while inspecting the bottom of the glass. "It surprised me when you said something was wrong with Azusa. I was under the impression that nothing could shake her anymore." His glasses obscured his eyes from his wife. "Between our riveting family dinners and her living in her room, I was concerned we had started building a robot instead of a human."

For a moment, Rin failed to respond. Takumi eyed his wife curiously, who was leaning back in her chair that wouldn't be out of place in a therapist's office. "I don't know. Honestly, it's probably nothing, just growing pains. I don't want to add to your concerns when you should be focused on work."

The wishy-washy answer bugged the man. He rose from his seat, taking his empty glass with him. "Don't doubt yourself, Rin. If something happened, I need to know. It's a rare opportunity for us to play the good cops in her life."

Rin blinked a few times, taking in her husband's profile against the too-bright ceiling lights. "Ah, yes, right. Sorry." She took a breath to compose her story. "Azusa came home in tears earlier, never mind how late it was. She hasn't done that since elementary school when the other kids made fun of her hair. Hell, she's barely even smiled since we moved, necessary as the change was. I'm assuming she had a falling out with a friend, but it's hard to tell. She didn't give me much to work with."

"Whose fault is that?" Takumi rhetorically asked. "Days like today happen. It's not a bad thing for her to get emotional once in a while. I'd almost welcome it. It'd make the house feel alive again, you know?" He tightened his grip on the glass.

Rin sat up, placing her hands on her lap over her dress. Her expression conveyed a repressed longing that she shared with the man in front of her, but she didn't voice it aloud. "It takes money to live," she reminded them both. "Self-control is more important than anything else, especially for girls her age. It'll throw a wrench in things if she has a falling out with her band now." Downing the last of her drink, Rin swallowed an ice cube to wash it down while Mr. Nakano gagged at the display.

Around his induced choking, Mr. Nakano managed to set his glass down on his guitar display case. "That's gross. Water isn't supposed to go down like that." When Rin responded by crunching on the ice cube loudly, he covered his ears and apologized profusely. "Alright, I get it, I get it. Anyways, it might not be related to her band. Maybe it's boy trouble? She would just tell us if it was grades, since she knows we'd find out eventually."

"I'm fairly certain she doesn't know any boys besides you and her teachers, thankfully," Rin countered, running out of ice cubes. "She knows very well what'll happen if she gets involved with a guy like that now. It's definitely the band."

Stroking the wayward patches of stubble on his chin, Takumi nodded to himself. "Hm. The band," he parroted, a nostalgic smile coming to him as he glanced to his old guitar. "I do wish I could have heard them play last month. Azusa deserves to have something she enjoys while she's getting ready for college. What was their band's name again?"

Rin tilted her head upwards as she thought about the question. Mr. Nakano passed the time attempting to will his drink to refill itself, leaning on his hands on the display case. Somehow, it didn't work. "HTT, if I remember correctly. They're supposed to be pretty famous among the student body," Rin supplied. "But Azusa's the only junior in the group. I have to imagine they're close to disbanding, if they haven't already."

A frown replaced Takumi's expression. "Ah. That's a shame. I hope she doesn't quit playing over that."

"We haven't set the best example," Rin pointed out, motioning to her own guitar. "But everyone has to put their toys away eventually."

"Touché. She'll find what she wants to do before long. At least she still leans on you occasionally. I'm lucky to see her outside of Sundays." the husband muttered, running a hand through a black mop of hair, one of the few remnants of his past appearance he insisted on maintaining. "So what's the play? Where does this leave us with the plan?"

Rising from her seat, Rin crossed the room to lean on the display case next to her husband. "She'll understand, sooner rather than later, I hope," she reassured her husband. "I know how hard you're working for all of us. Nothing about the plan has changed. I'm aiming for the 19th."

Mr. Nakano whistled appreciatively. "We'd be dead without you, you know that? So it's the real Kotobuki?"

"Mhm," Mrs. Nakano confirmed. "Hirasawa too. I was more than a bit shocked that they found each other. If we're going to take advantage of this, we need to act swiftly. I can't believe in all this time she never mentioned their last names. I should have realized this a long time ago."

Sighing, Mr. Nakano put an arm around his wife. "Chalk it up to bad luck. It's not your fault for doing what you had to do to secure her future. We can't rely on handouts forever." Saying the words out loud caused the man's shoulders to droop. "God, I sound like my dad. I'm becoming boring. Rin, help." He squeezed her shoulder a little.

"Baka," Rin scoffed, leaning in a little closer. "Don't make me nostalgic. It's bad for my health. I need to be on top of my game right now."

"We could always pop these cases open," Mr. Nakano suggested, patting the display case with his free hand. "One more time couldn't hurt."

Pulling away, Rin punched Takumi's arm lightly. "You sound like a drug addict. If I let you take that thing out you'll never put it back. Have you forgotten last time already?"

The room's mood was instantly somber. Takumi stood up fully, wandering over to inspect the wall of albums on the far side of the room. "Nope," he admitted, eyes downcast. "I'm sure Azusa hasn't either."

Thumbing through various albums, his own included, allowed Takumi to focus on any moment except the one he was in. Simply touching a record elicited the happier moments from when it was last played, his browsing through memories only interrupted by his wife's voice pulling him into reality. "We're allowed to change. If we don't try, things won't improve. If the dinner goes well, maybe we'll be able to change too,"

Smirking, Mr. Nakano turned back to his wife. Rin was still by the display case, running a finger over the glass as if she was strumming the strings. If Mr. Nakano closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he heard something. "Even if it doesn't, I wouldn't mind giving things another shot with Azusa," he decided. "As long as she understands what she needs to do to succeed, there's no harm in us acting like her parents."

"We are her parents, baka," Rin reminded the man. "But you're right. We can't put all our stock in any one gambit. The best we can do for her now is start teaching her how the world really works, and if we're lucky, she'll come out of it without too many scars."

Feeling more like he was discussing training an infantry soldier than raising a child, Mr. Nakano frowned. "I know you're right, but it still bothers me. It's not fair that being the people we want to be screws her over."

"Life isn't fair," Rin agreed. "You have to make sacrifices to get what you want sometimes. At the end of the day, there's some things you can't do in life if you want to be happy. So if we can stack the deck in her favor, we will. That's what we agreed upon, isn't it?"

Walking up to his wife, Mr. Nakano planted a peck on her rosy cheek. He moved past her as she smiled softly at him, picking up his empty glass once more. "Yeah, it was," he agreed, starting for the door. "Let's get to sleep. I'll catch hell if I don't have things running like normal tomorrow."