Chapter 18: A Heroic Performance
"Good morning, sunshines!" Mallory slid down the stairs with a theatrical flourish. It was early on the student's first Wednesday, and nobody had anywhere to be. Mallory had a similar purple bandana around her mouth to the one the Anne ruined in the royale, even in her otherwise casual attire. Having just hopped out of bed, she only had on a set of baggy purple cotton pyjamas on.
It was only the morning in the technical sense. Though twelve o'clock hadn't come yet, the day had been in full swing for a while now. As such, the only people present in the common area of the Regency Academy dormitories were the late risers. John, who's cat genes made him a big sleeper by nature, sat nervously twiddling his clawed thumbs while taking up three spots on the leather sofa. Across from him, Lorelai reclined on the opposite sofa and stank the place up with her dour demeanour (and to a certain extent her actual stink. Hadn't she ever heard of perfume?). The corpse girl tapped on her phone with stitched up fingers and occasionally gave a convincing zombie growl in between delicate spoonfuls of the decadent pudding she was enjoying. To Lorelai, it was never too early to have dessert. For Mallory, it was a tab bit too late for her to make breakfast. She ambled over shyly to the zombie.
"Lorelaiii… where'd ya' get that?" She asked sweetly. From this close, the girl could smell the delicacy even past Lorelai's aroma. She felt the warm fumes from the hot toffee sauce, which melted the vanilla icecream that now gathered in the bottom of the dish. Ignoring her, Lorelai took another agonizingly small chunk out of the spongy, cakey dessert. This was cruel. It just had to be Mallory's favourite, and on the one day where she happened to wake up past when they served breakfast. "Come on," She pleaded. "They don't even have that at the cafeteria. I checked! How come only you get one?"
Lorelai groaned. This was starting to get on her nerves. She tilted her head up angrily at Lorelai, who's nightcap was dangling in her face, and furiously rattled something out on her phone. Then, she grasped the device in two of her unkempt fingernails and held it in front of Mallory's face at an uncomfortably close distance.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I HAVE PRIVILEGES*
Mallory's brow furrowed mopily.
"Can't you share a little? I mean how hungry can you be, you're only eating it at like a third of a bite a minute." Mallory leant all the way over the reclining Lorelai and made for the coffee table where the girl's dish sat. Lorelai growled gruffly as she sat up, and pushed Mallory all the way back by shoving her phone in her face.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I DONT LIKE YOU*
Mallory was wounded. She placed her hand over her chest and scoffed offendedly. She was somewhat used to being insulted, but Lorelai's brand of interpersonal hatred felt particularly pointless and mean.
"Why the heck not? I know we scrapped in the royale and all, but you can't seriously be taking that personally right?" Mallory decried. Lorelai pinched the bridge of her nose, writing out one last message on her phone for Mallory's reading enjoyment.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I HATE PEOPLE IN GENERAL. PLEASE GO AWAY NOW*
The writing was plain to see. Lorelai suspended her phone barely a few centimetres away from the other girl's face with a slim pinch grip. Mallory's eyes smiled. In a flash, she snatched the phone right out of the other girl's hand, almost taking a finger with it. Lorelai screamed, as much as she could anyway. It came out more like a gravely howl from her decayed vocal cords. The girl lunged over the sofa at Mallory, who fell on her back and held her off with a foot to the head.
The zombie girl growled like she was actually trying to crack Mallory's head open and have a taste of whatever was inside. She repeatedly clawed for her phone back, all the while Mallory fumbled through menu's as she thrashed playfully out of her opponent's reach. With a final press of the thumb, Mallory relinquished the gadget. The phone dropped on her stomach, and Lorelai quickly scooped it up and held it reverently close to her chest. The phone made a muffled sound.
"Text to speech mode enabled," Said a generic female voice. Lorelai gaped at the audio notification.
"Now you don't have to hold your phone in front of my face to talk to me! Isnt that easier?" Mallory winked. "You're welcome."
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I'M NOT THANKING YOU, AND I STILL DONT LIKE YOU*
The same generic female voice now read out the girl's THEATRE messages in a mechanical, but clearly annunciated, drole. Lorelai made an impressed hum and wondered why she never found out about this feature before.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *...BUT THIS MIGHT BE HELPFUL…*
Mallory shot her a pair of double finger guns before standing up and brushing herself off.
"Can I have some of that pudding now?"
Lorelai suddenly remembered why she hadn't even bothered looking for a text to speech before. It doesn't matter how easy it is to talk to someone if they insist on making the experience infuriating.
Suddenly, a splash of colour entered the room. Simon returned. The earliest bird of them all, he had already finished with his morning exercises, and his glorious plumage was drenched in sparkling sweat.
"Good morning, sunshines!" He cried, before bending over and trying to catch his breath.
"Good morning!" Mallory replied, bubbling with excitement at the prospect of someone who wasn't a wet towel entering the room.
"G-good morning," John waved, trying to join in on the social interaction. He suddenly became self-conscious about the wide arc of his monstrous paw as he waved, and tucked it back onto his lap before zipping his puss shut.
"What's up, man?" Mallory inquired, sliding over with her arms behind her back and hopping peppily. Simon held up one finger and took an extremely drawn-out shallow breath. Then, he slowly slumped onto the floor like a wet towel.
"A moment please…" He gasped. Evidently, he had been exercising very, very hard. Mallory huffed and crossed her arms.
"I can't believe this! Do all of you have terminal charisma issues or something? Can't a girl get some half-decent interpersonal contact in the morning?"
All of the present parties grunted at her incredulously. She stormed up the stairs, returning a minute later in day clothes and with a backpack slung over her shoulders.
"All of you get up! We're doing an activity!"
"Absolutely!" Simon cried, popping up off the floor in point one seconds flat.
"A-an activity? Like what?" John asked.
"You'll see! Come on, this ain't a day off you bums. It's 'self-directed'. Let's go!"
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *THE ONLY GOOD LEISURE TIME I'VE HAD ALL WEEK, AND YOU WANT ME TO PACK UP SHOP AND FOLLOW SOME PEOPLE I DONT EVEN LIKE TO GOD KNOWS WHERE TO DO AN 'ACTIVITY'?*
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD AGREE TO THAT*
-REGENCY ACADEMY, SOUTHERN SPORTS FIELD-
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *WHY THE HELL DID I AGREE TO THIS*
"What a resplendent morning!" Cried Simon in a sing-song lilt. He held his head up to the overcast sky and let his technicolour feathers ruffle in the brisk wind. John and Lorelai had no idea what they were doing out here. This was an empty field, it was barely ten AM, and it was their day off. What kind of hero stuff could possibly be happening in a place like this?
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *SO ARE WE JUST GOING TO STAND HERE AND ADMIRE THE SCENERY?*
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *IS THAT WHAT I CAME OUT HERE FOR? BECAUSE I AM ABOUT DONE WITH IT*
Lorelai idly kicked the holographically projected lines on the pitch, watching them warble like disturbed water. They were probably for football or some other peasant sport. The zombie girl was wondering again why she agreed to this in the first place.
"Mallory? You're just standing there… are you plotting something?" John asked, more out of concern than curiosity. She paused dramatically, her bandana fluttering.
"...Oh? Sorry, just pausing dramatically," She laughed. Then, she reached around into her pack and whipped something out. "Boom! Check these out!" She cried, slapping a stack of something onto the hard mud below. Simon was the first to have a gander. He scooped one up as he zipped past, and was perusing it by the time he came to a stop.
"Mallory, is this a script?" He asked, flipping through the densely annotated packet of paper.
"You bet! We're doing a play!" The girl squealed. She was shaking with excitement.
"A play? That sounds wonderful!" Simon exclaimed.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *A PLAY? THAT SOUNDS STUPID*
"A play…? I mean… why not, right?" John said, rubbing his mane.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *A BETTER QUESTION WOULD BE 'WHY'. THAT IS UNLESS THIS PLACE BECAME THE COUNTRY'S MOST ADVANCED THEATER SCHOOL IN THE LAST COUPLE OF MINUTES*
"Don't be like that, Lorelai," Pouted Mallory. "Acting and hero-ing are totally related! They're like, transferable skills! I mean, they were both made for the spotlight, right? You gotta be able to put on a performance while you're saving someone, or you'll never get popular."
"It's true, I was made for the spotlight!" Said Simon, posing.
"Casting time! I'll be the director~" Mewed Mallory. Lorelai gave her an undead scowl.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *OK, WISEASS. HOW DOES 'DIRECTING' TRANSFER TO THE HERO INDUSTRY?*
"Uh, hello? You've seen my quirk right? It's all about directing people! This is like, perfect practice!" Mallory explained. Simon nodded in agreement, stroking an imaginary beard. John shrugged in concession, whereas Lorelai folded her arms in a huff.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *YOU TRANSPARENTLY JUST WANT US TO ACT OUT YOUR DUMB SCRIPT, YOU THEATRE KID MANIAC*
"That's hardly fair, Lorelai. Have you even read the script yet?" Simon pleaded. He hadn't read the script yet either, but he was fully on board from the start.
"Yeah, if that's what I wanted then this thing would be at least a hundred pages longer!" Mallory snarked, flipping the comparatively thin document around and ruffling all the pages for the undead girl to see. Lorelai flicked through her own copy indignantly. She delicately prodded the pages, letting a few bugs crawl around on there to read it for her.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS ISNT WORTH THE EFFORT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. LET'S JUST GET IT OVER WITH*
"That's the spirit! Characters people! Who are we going to be today?" Mallory asked, plopping herself down into the director's chair.
"Mal, where did you get that chair from-"
"'The Hero'! That's me! It's the perfect role!" Simon declared, beaming proudly. His claw was marked firmly against the top billing of the cast list. In response to his enthusiasm, Lorelai and John calmly and plainly raised their scripts to their face.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU 'THE MONSTER'*
"What? But I don't wanna be the monster…" Pouted Jonh.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: WELL YOU ARENT BEING THE PRINCESS
"I think… I should be the hero! This is about training, right? Well, Simon already knows how to play that role. I think that if we're supposed to be practising…" John noticed that everyone's eyes were on him, and he stepped back, blushing a little. "Well… Maybe I should try…? I think that would be better… For... Um… practice?"
"You make a good point my friend, but consider this: I called dibs," Simon retorted. John was big, but Simon's pose made his profile puff up and seem even bigger. Against the bird boy's power stance, John was helpless.
"Dibs… Yeah, I forgot about that… nevermind then…"
"Absolutely. You cant go against dibs, it's a sacred rule!" Mallory concurred.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *GOTTA RESPECT DIBS*
No counter-argument for that, John thought. He was trapped. Sighing heavily, he conceded.
-LATER-
"Okay, John, in this scene we are gonna need you to give us a really big roar," Mallory directed, sitting sideways in her fold-out director's chair. "And Simon, can you back off a little, please? Your character doesn't even show up for another act."
"I am just brightening up the show!" He said.
"You're taking attention away from centre stage is what you're doing."
"You know I really thought I'd be in this play more…"
"C'mon John. How about that roar?" Mallory snapped her fingers impatiently.
"A… A roar? Well… alright…" John shyly scratched behind his ears before puffing out his barrel chest and preparing for a monstrous roar. He heaved, an immense amount of air flowing into him. Then, with a force and gusto not yet seen, he gave a thorough effort and… meowed.
"Bro, did you just meow?" Mallory asked. "Like a little baby kitten?"
"I'm trying my best here, ok?" John pleaded. "This is harder than it looks."
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *ISNT YOUR DAD LITERALLY NAMED 'BARON ROAR'?*
"I'm not my dad! And he had to practice a lot to get the roar sounding good, ok? He still does! It's not like on TV you know! They use tiger roars in the movies because lion roars don't sound right. It's not like this comes natural!"
"You roared just fine in the royale!" Simon interjected. "I felt that one in my bones!"
"I was in the zone then, lay off!"
"You know what, forget about it. It's just practice anyway. Let's just keep going through the script," Mallory said, studying her copy. John nodded thankfully, then turned to his co-star Lorelai and opened his mouth. No words came out. They all paused momentarily.
"Uhm… line please?" John asked. Mallory shook her head and cleared her throat.
"'And now that you're family is coming to rescue you, princess, I will murder them all in cold blood and consume their bloody remains and viscera, laughing as you mourn them,'" She read.
"Mallory, I… you know what? this character isn't me..."
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *THIS IS SO DUMB*
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *I'M GOING TO MY ROOM*
"Yeah Mallory, I'm not feeling it today…" John sighed.
"What the heck guys?" Mallory scolded. She put her arms on her waist and flapped her script at them. "We haven't even gotten to the kiss scene yet!"
"The what?" Simon asked, zooming back onto 'stage' with a bright grin.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *THE WHAT?*
Lorelai spun around at dizzying speed and slapped Simon so hard he did a somersault before coming down on his butt. He dejectedly rubbed the sore area on his cheek.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *HIM? NO WAY. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?*
"Don't be silly, Lorelai," Mallory began. The zombie girl's stance softened up a bit. "Not with you and the hero. You and the monster! This play has a twist ending, you dummy."
"Her and the who?" John asked fearfully. He didn't have time to protest before the little ball of undead rage under his chin gave him a taste of what Simon had got. A rousing slap to the face that sent even his huge frame to the ground.
Lorelai silently seethed, her chest rising and falling with her enraged breaths. Her slapping hand primed and ready. Then something blindsided her. Mallory started to giggle. It was, looking at things objectively, a somewhat humorous situation. A perfect slapstick setup, with emphasis on the slap. So it made sense that John started to laugh after her. It didn't take long from there for Simon to join in aswell. Soon, the only person not laughing was Lorelai. Her reaction was adverse. Her stance hardened. Everyone was laughing, which usually only meant one thing.
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME?*
Except, they weren't. Something inside Lorelai made her feel as though she should be angry, but she couldn't bring herself to be so. The laughter was too infectious. It took a while, but when it became clear that the other three were laughing with her, she started to laugh too.
Her laugh was unconventional, to say the least. With her rotten vocal cords, it came out more like the revving of a chainsaw. This must have been the first time that she laughed in weeks. The sound of her joining in only seemed to make the others laugh harder. Mallory fell off of her chair.
"Hey, Lorelai! H-hit him again!" John roared, pointing at Simon and stomping his feet. The bird boy laughed along for a second and then realised what John had said.
"You what? Lorelai! Hit him instead!" Simon growled. Lorelai relaxed. When she considered her own feelings, the emotion of regretting having come was lessened to the point of barely being there. It was concerning to her, but it was true nonetheless. This excursion had turned out to not be so bad after all.
-LATER-
Mallory's group returned to the dormitories at around one. Despite none of them talking on the way back, you would be hard-pressed to describe the atmosphere as awkward. Silence, on occasion, was nothing to be nervous about. Especially when there was little to be said. Mallory led the pack, of course. She marched like a majorette, satisfied at a job well done. It was for this reason that when they arrived at the slightly ajar, richly coloured wooden doors that led into the common area, it was Mallory who gave them a shove open.
For a moment, she didn't feel anything. She just slowly stepped into precisely the poorest place. An unfortunate gravity came about her, and then she instinctually felt something above her falling down. She cringed away from the feeling, a completely ineffectual attempt at a dodge.
She got soaked. Positively saturated from head to toe. Simon, who was midway through a step, watched her face-covering bandana wash down a slick of water like it was being swept away by a set of rapids. He looked up, and Mallory had a bucket squarely over her head. Sort of like a helmet, though she never put it there herself.
"This is… SO... UNORIGINAL!…" She yelled. Her voice sounded like a robot when it reverberated off the thin metal. One of the heads of the Carrol twins appeared over the back of the sofa like he was peering out of a parapet.
"Dexter! I got one! Ha!" Hooted Porter, like a mischievous ape. His brother soon joined him over the sofa, a compact textbook held open in their shared hand.
"I'd like it noted that I have absolutely nothing to do with any of my brother's derivative practical jokes, and if I did they would be a lot funnier," He explained dryly.
"Yeah, do you have any idea how hard it was to get a bucket up there with these giant clumsy hands?" Porter demonstrated. His torso sized astral hand fumbled about.
"Not cool, guys!" Scolded Simon. He twisted around the stationary, shivering Mallory and positioned himself between her and the twins. He gently grabbed the bucket with his talons.
"Would you like to… take this off?" He asked cautiously. Mallory grabbed the bucket back and pushed it further onto her face.
"No thank you! I'm A-OK, actually!" She said, clearly flustered. She put her hands on her waist, threw her hips out and puffed her chest, feigning confidence. "My b-bandana has got to be around here s-somewhere!" Simon could not tell if she was shivering or stammering nervously. Then, she blindly stubbed her toe and stumbled over. Porter started laughing again, and it was at that point that John craned his head into the room. His immense size was noted by the twins immediately, as was his presence. The lion shot Porter the world's most savage death glare. The disdainful, beastly look made the colour faded from Porter's face instantly, and he slid down.
"You are cleaning this up," John growled, pointing with a hefty claw to the wet mess on the floor.
"I think he means you, bro," Dexter pointed out.
"Mallory!" Simon called, catching up to her with one fluttering step. He caught her from her almost-fall and guided her to standing. "You must want to take that off. This can be nothing but embarrassing, no?"
"I have given up hope of salvaging my situation... embarrassment wise…" Mallory whispered. "The only thing I can do is not make it worse. So… not here, please?"
"Nonsense!" Simon declared. Despite her protests, he hooked two fingers under Mallory's bucket and threw it off her head in a slick swipe. Mallory went beet red and her knees buckled. In a state of abject panic, she threw her hands over her mouth and neurotically scanned the room. Multiple sets of eyes, all on her. A nightmare. This had gone about as badly as she imagined it could.
Simon was confused. He had caught a glimpse of what it was Mallory was trying to hide, however slight. To him, it made little sense to hide it anymore. They were hardly strangers at this point, and Simon was all about people showing themselves off. He was a showy fellow himself. Yet, when Mallory looked at him, her eyes had an undercurrent of fear. At the girl's horrified eyes, Simon deflated. Was this his fault? Had he overstepped a boundary? Pushed too hard on something he understood too little? Mallory's feelings were alien to him, certainly, but he understood the connotations of her reaction, clearly. Luckily, Simon considered himself an expert at this stuff. Now was not the time to rationalise his behaviour, now was the time to make up.
"So, not here, then?" He inquired. Mallory made a confused squeak, muffled by her clasping hands. Suddenly, Simon bent over and picked her up. One arm behind the knee, the other under her arm. A smooth sweeping motion later, and Mallory was lifted away from the floor. "Pardon us, gents."
Simon, and Mallory by extension, were gone in a flash. John perhaps noticed a streak of colour sliding up the stairs, but other than that it was as if they had vanished. His speed was just such. On the other end of things, Simon and Mallory came to a sudden stop somewhere else altogether.
"Does this place suit?" Simon asked kindly. He let Mallory down, and she staggered clumsily against her own door. This was the dormitory corridor, girl's side. Technically, Simon shouldn't be here, but she wasn't about to chew him out for something like that.
"T-thanks…" Mallory stammered. "But next time I tell you not to do something, really don't do it!"
"Of course," Simon bowed. "I realise I overstepped, and I'm very sorry. I do, however, wish that one day you will be able to show yourself off around us."
"Why, I'm gross. Have you seen me?" Mallory snarled.
"I… Only slightly, and I didn't mean to! Sometimes you just… see things by accident, and then you can't help but to have seen them, especially with my wandering eyes. Am I making sense?" The avian boy blushed, wishing he had chosen different words.
"Enough," Mallory huffed. She lowered her hands and crossed her arms. Her arachnid mandibles were now on show to all of the world, though Simon was the only one present. Right away, the boy covered his eyes with his hand. Mallory tilted her head curiously. "That disgusting, huh?"
"I am merely trying to respect boundaries!" Simon replied chipperly. Mallory rolled her eyes.
"It's fine. You've seen already, so... you can... look… if you want that is. I mean if you can help from throwing up."
"You know…" Simon began, flaying out his fingers and peeping through the gap between them with one eye. "For what it's worth, I think they're cute~"
Mallory went beet red for the second time that day. She began to vibrate vigorously enough that Simon could see her go from side to side slightly. He pouted, unable to gauge whether this was an affirmative reaction or not. The girl just stared at the empty space in front of her eyes, her pupils dilated. At last, she spoke.
"Kaythanksbye." She opened the door behind her, slid right in without turning around, and then slammed it shut. She moved like a sidewinder, it was over in less than a second probably. Simon could do nothing but shrug it off. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, whistled a jaunty tune and went about with the rest of his day.
On the inside of the dorm, Mallory quickly latched the door locked and sighed.
"Half-decent interpersonal contact, eh?" She face-palmed. Not knowing what to do with herself after that display, she threw herself onto the bed, damp clothes and all, and screamed into a pillow.
-REGENCY ACADEMY, NURSING WARD-
Behind a desk, under lamplight, sat one of Regency Academy's nursing staff. This was not THE nurse, but A nurse nonetheless. The cigar-smoking golden girl with the bedside manner of a yakuza debt collector was just a superior to this woman. A preferable alternative for the sick or injured she was not, however. Just her grisly appearance might make you flatline.
It was not that she was a totally hideous woman. She had a dainty height, a slender body, and luscious dark brown hair tied into a pair of buns. She was, however, scary. On the right cheek, a tattoo of a black flower, on the left side of her face, a horrific scar which covered her blind eye (on which she wore a monocle) and went all the way down to the jaw. To top it off, she had the demeanour of a person who could kill as they breathed. The nurse outfit she wore did little to help her allure, even with the long slit up the side of her leg.
At her left hand was a tray. Arranged to the side of it were scalpels and minute callipers, in the middle was the deconstructed cadaver of a tarantula. Just a hobby of hers. At her right hand, she had her phone. This woman had others that she needed to answer to, not just Pibada, and it was about time she checked in.
USER "101ASIAN" STARTED MESSAGING USER "#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#"
101ASIAN: How are we feeling this afternoon, princess Windsor?
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: *IT WASNT THE WORST, I SUPPOSE*
#DROPKICKDULLAHAN#: X/
TO BE CONTINUED
Hello, all my readers! With this chapter, I am thinking of drawing this little interlude to a close. Seeing some of the students going about things on their 'day off' may have been fun, but as I wrote this I found myself itching to get into more plot stuff! I hope there won't be any protests, my apologies if I didn't include your character in the little mini-arc, I'll be sure to give them some spotlight in the next arc! With that out of the way, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Be sure to tell me what you thought in the reviews, or a PM if you feel so inclined. And as always, thanks for reading!
No news this week, just reminding you all that the story has a discord now! We'd love to have you over there, submitter or not, so if you're interested head over to my profile where you'll see the link (right under the BLM carrd!). Peace!