July 2021
Will and I rented a vacation home in the Hamptons for a week over the Independence Day holiday for a little family vacation. I smile as I look around the main floor of the house. Grace is playing a game with Mira. Owen and Aubrey are in the family room crashed out on the sofa nursing hangover headaches. They went bar hopping last night and apparently had a little too much fun. Zach and his girlfriend Rachel are out on the back patio enjoying a late breakfast. The view of the ocean from the backyard is spectacular.
I sigh contentedly as Will slowly makes his way into the kitchen. He's wearing a Georgetown t-shirt and pajama bottoms. His long hours these past few weeks are evidenced in his tousled hair, the dark circles under his eyes and unshaven face. He sank into the bed next to me last night sometime between two and three. I think he was asleep before his head ever hit the pillow. This case he's working on is brutal. If he didn't enjoy being stuck in the trenches of criminal litigation so much, I'd force him to slow down, and would have been upset when he called Wednesday afternoon and said he wouldn't make it here until Friday night. Instead I told him I understood, and that I loved him, because I do. I get it. And there's a decent chance that in a month or two I'll be the one calling and telling him he's on his own for the next few weeks.
Mira could care less about the sleep deprived state of her father. It's 10:30 in the morning. She's been awake for three hours and all she cares about is that her father, who she's barely seen in two weeks, is here. She knows he'll give her his full undivided attention no matter his state. She climbs down from her chair at the table and runs to him.
"Daddy," she screeches, as he sweeps her up into his arms. She gives him a big hug, and then puts her tiny three-year old hands on his neck and presses a sloppy kiss to his prickly face.
"Hi munchkin," he says, temporarily looking awake.
"Daddy, your whiskers are pokey."
He just smiles in acknowledgement. "I know. I'm going to shave them off today. If I don't Mommy won't want to kiss me."
She scrunches up her nose, and he presses a soft kiss to it. "How's my big girl?"
"Good! Daddy, guess what?"
"What?" he responds, as enthusiastically as she asked the question.
"There's a swimming pool here, and a swing, and we can walk to the beach. I made a sandcastle yesterday with Grace. Mommy told me there's going to be fireworks tonight, and that if I'm good I can stay up real late and watch them on the beach. Also, there's a hammock in the backyard by the big trees. Mommy reads me my books out there in the afternoon. When we get real sleepy we take a nap there. Mommy said she wanted to take a nap with you in the hammock."
He glances at me approvingly. "I'd like to take a long nap with Mommy in the hammock. It sounds like you're having lots of fun here."
"Yes! Can we live here?"
He chuckles. "No, but we could come here again, okay?"
"Okay." She wiggles out of his embrace and returns to her game.
Will takes a few steps to get to me, wraps his arm around my waist, and plants a firm kiss to my lips. All I can think about is how much I've missed the taste of him the past few days.
We break the kiss a few moments later and stare into each other's eyes. It's like our own little world for a few seconds and I wonder if moments like these will someday fade away. I hope not. Getting lost in each other, if only for a few seconds, is like heaven.
I offer to make him breakfast. He eagerly accepts. "I haven't had a decent meal in days," he says, then kisses the top of my head and moves to the table to sit by Mira.
Zach and Rachel come back into the house twenty minutes later. Rachel puts their breakfast dishes in the sink as Zach walks over to Will. "Is the BMW in the driveway a rental?" he asks, with an enthusiastic gleam in his eye.
I stop cutting the fruit in front of me and look across the room to Will. I can't help but laugh under my breath at the broad, youthful, smile that's slapped across his face as he meets my gaze. We managed to keep his new car a secret from the kids.
"It's not a rental. Your Mom bought it." He lets the words hang in the air just to get a reaction from Zach. A good move on his part. Zach turns slowly to face me a look of utter shock etched in his features.
"You, my mother, bought a black BMW 440i series convertible with what looks like all the upgraded features?"
I decide to play along with Will's little game. "Yes," I say, as if I'd simply gone out and bought a loaf of bread at the market. "And the color isn't black. It's slate," I add, making it sound like I know exactly what I'm talking about.
This renders Zach nearly speechless and perks the attention of Owen and Aubrey who abruptly wake from their hangover daze as they make their way to the front of the house to take a look at the aforementioned sports car.
Zach moves next to Rachel. "I don't believe it. Will bought the car. Mom wouldn't know the first thing about buying one like that."
Will gets up to put his dishes in the sink. "It's a new interest of hers," he says with complete seriousness. "She left the house one Saturday morning in one car and came home in that one. She said she'd been eyeing it for a few months and decided to buy it."
"Mmhm," Zach responds. "So, it's Mom's car. Can I take it for a spin – Mom?" he emphasizes looking at me, barely able to keep a straight face.
"No," Will immediately responds.
None of us can keep from chuckling. I wrap my arm across Will's back and fill in the missing details.
"I did buy the car - for Will - as an early birthday gift. With his input of course."
Will is turning fifty in September. An unwanted reminder that I'll be doing the same soon. A few months ago, the idea of turning fifty really got to him. He moped around for a week and then decided he needed to try all sorts of things to stay young. He started running more miles every day. Started lifting more weight at the gym. Tried out a few crazy fad diets and talked nonstop about buying a sports car. Particularly about the BMW that now sits in the driveway. After six weeks of this nonsense where I couldn't cook anything he'd eat because his diet changed so often, and him losing sleep because he got up an hour earlier for double his workout time, I decided to satiate this mid-life crisis by gifting him the car a few months early. It was already in the works for his birthday anyway.
"I'll remember to add sports car to my next birthday list," Zach says, smiling.
Owen and Aubrey come back to the kitchen and the conversation about the car continues. Everyone wants to know the specifics. How it drives? What features does it have? If Will won't let anyone drive it can they at least ride in it? Will proudly leads all of them outside to inspect the car close up.
Mira follows adding her two cents. Will has turned her into an expert, despite the fact that we've only had the car for a month. He's barely had time to drive it but, has spent a significant amount of time discussing it with her. One of her favorite things to do right now is sit in daddy's new car and pretend to drive. She has added words like, aerodynamics, horsepower, and drift mode, words she can barely pronounce, to her three-year old vocabulary.
If I'd known how much joy he'd get out of owning a sports car, I would have bought him one a few years ago. He acts like he's twenty-five again and is more protective of the vehicle than I would have imagined. He won't drive it to work. Won't take it out on a rainy day. He even bought an all-weather UV protection car cover for it. Funny because it lives in the underground parking garage of our building ninety nine percent of the time.
Other than driving it home from the dealership I've only ridden in it once with him. I'm looking forward to taking some long drives over the next few days. There's something thrilling about sitting next to him in an expensive, flashy, car with the top down. I'd never admit to him, but it makes me feel younger too.
The girls and I left the house about an hour ago for some shopping in Sag Harbor. I love all the small shops filled with antiques, clothing, and fun odds and ends that I can't find in the city.
"What do you think?" I hold up a dress I quite like, and the three girls smile and give each other a quick look that means they don't approve.
"You don't like it?" I question, putting it back on the rack.
"Mom, it's not that we don't like it, it's just that it looks like every other dress you own," Grace informs me.
"What's wrong with that?" I ask. It just means I know what I like, and what looks good on me.
"Nothing," Aubrey adds.
"Right, nothing," Grace says, as she moves a few feet away and grabs another dress off the rack. "We're on vacation. I just think you should be a little more adventurous."
She grabs a few more things from around the store and hands them to me. "Try these."
I take the armful of clothes from her and head to the dressing room. After a few outfit changes I have to admit I agree with her on the clothes. These are things I'd never pick out myself, but that all look good.
I step out of the dressing room in a light blue sun dress with spaghetti straps that crisscross and tie in the back. It's made of the softest material imaginable. The detail in the stitching at top and bottom are beautiful. I think I could live in something this comfortable for the rest of my life. "Am I too old to wear something like this?" I ask, the three pairs of eyes staring back at me.
"Not at all. That looks amazing on you, Mom," Grace says.
"She's right, Alicia," Rachel adds. "It looks really good on you."
"Yeah, and I know a certain man who won't be able to keep his eyes off you when he sees it," Aubrey adds, with a mischievous grin. She reminds so much of Owen sometimes.
"What about the others?" I ask.
"You should buy them all, Mom," Grace says, casually.
I end up with two dresses, a new shirt, two pairs of pants, and some jewelry. By the time we leave the shop, Will sends me a text saying he, Mira, Zach and Owen are at the Independence Day carnival a few blocks away.
When we meet up with them Will gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and immediately my stomach flutters. He looks good all cleaned up, freshly shaven, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and casual button-down sports shirt. It's been far too many days since we've had sex. I smile to myself at the thought of spending a few long hours tangled up in bed with him. It's usually him that can't handle a drought in our love life, but I'm definitely having some strong urges this afternoon that I'd prefer to be taken care of sooner than later.
"Did you buy anything?" he asks, as we continue to walk through the crowds.
"I did," I smile, and lean closer to him. "A few things I'll have to model for you later."
He gets that look in his eyes and nods approvingly.
"Will, you have to make her go back to the antique shop and buy the desk she found. It's gorgeous, and she loves it." Aubrey says.
"You've been looking for a new one to have at home. Why didn't you buy it?" he asks, looking at me.
"It's expensive. I don't know. I wanted to think about it I guess."
"Okay, but let me know if you change your mind. We can have it shipped home."
I nod as we continue walking. I did like the desk along with a few other things I found today that I fell in love with. It just doesn't seem practical. He's right though, I have been looking for a different desk to have at home. The one we have now is a bit beat up, but I don't know that we really need to replace it.
Later on, Will and I find a table in the shade of a large tree and sit with Mira. "You know if you keep looking at me like that everyone is going to know exactly what's on your mind," Will whispers to me, as he hands Mira her long awaited cotton candy.
I feel the heat rise through my body. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Gardner." I look at him with as much seduction as I can muster.
He chuckles and leans over Mira, who's completely oblivious to what's going on, and kisses me.
"Daddy, I want to go on the swings," she says, looking up at us. Her mouth is pink and sticky, and Will just smiles as he takes the half-eaten stick of cotton candy out of her hand and takes a big bite for himself.
"Let's clean you up, munchkin, and I'll take you on the swings. Then it might be time to go home for a little rest." He glances at me with a knowing look. If we can get her to take a nap we would have some long awaited time to ourselves.
I stand next to a tree and watch them together. It's clear Mira isn't the only one enjoying herself. She screeches with excitement every time the swing gets back to Will and he tickles her ankles. Twenty minutes later he pulls her off the swing and kisses her little button nose before she can protest that they didn't get to swing long enough.
We leave the others in order to get Mira home and down for a late afternoon nap. On our way back to the car Will stops at a game booth and wins Mira a small stuffed bear. She falls asleep in the car with the bear, who she's already named bubble gum, tucked under her chin. She probably won't let it out of her sight for the next three weeks.
My head rests comfortably on Will's bare chest as I stare out the open windows at the deep blue ocean. There's a light breeze blowing in helping to cool our heated skin. He runs his fingers gently over my arm with a sigh of contentment.
"This is a really great place you found," he comments, softly.
I glance around the room with its light color palette, and airy feel. The whole house is like this. Sophisticated yet charming and comfortable all wrapped into one. Soft bedding, comfortable seating, cushioned chairs by the pool. Luxurious, maybe that's a better word for it. The only thing missing from this vacation is a personal chef, I muse to myself. Luckily for me everyone else is more than willing to help with the cooking.
"It is, isn't it?" I comment, a bit smugly.
His chest rises and falls beneath my head as he chuckles lightly.
"How long do you think she'll sleep?" he asks, as I lift my head and peer up at him
"Another hour if I had to guess."
"Good," he says, shifting to his side and tangling me in his embrace. "That gives me plenty of time to decide whether I want to take a nap with you or spend the next hour doing what we just did."
"Why not both?" I ask, with raised brow. I don't know what's gotten into me today, but I'd be perfectly happy spending the rest of the day right here.
He smiles and leans in for a lingering kiss as his hand roams smoothly over my bare skin. "It might be fun to make you wait until tonight," he says, pressing his lips to my neck.
A moan escapes my lips and I can feel his smile against my skin. He knows just the right spot to kiss and drive me absolutely mad with desire. "Just remember two can play this game, Mr. Gardner," I breathe, pressing my pelvis against him.
He groans flipping me onto my back, pinning my wrists on either side of my head. "Yes, Mrs. Gardner, two can play this game."
His lips crash into mine once again. We spend the next little while in marital bliss.
We both fell asleep afterwards. I woke a few minutes ago to the sound of Mira knocking on our door. "I'll be right there," I call to her, glancing over at Will. He's dead to the world. I look at the clock. We slept for over an hour. Mira must have been completely worn out. As much as I'd like to stay right here and revel in the quiet time we've had, I climb out of bed, throw on a robe, and take Mira to the loft to watch some cartoons, and have a snack while I shower.
I pause in the kitchen and stare out the open back doors watching everyone. Will and Zach are talking by the grill, the girls are setting the table. Mira's out on the lawn with some toys. These moments of peace and contentment are what I crave these days.
"Alicia, you've got to knock that off. I mean I don't mind but think about the kids."
Owen entering the kitchen interrupts my thoughts. "What?" I barely registered what he said.
He laughs. "You've been looking at Will like you're undressing him all day. Stop it. The kids are going to start noticing."
"I wasn't," I protest.
"Yeah Sis, you were." His gaze moves from me to Will. "I can't blame you. He's toned up quite a bit since I saw you guys last. He probably looks even better naked. And since you guys had some – alone time – while we were all gone,"
"Owen, seriously!" I snap, interrupting him, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. "Grow up," I add. Although, he isn't wrong. Will's excessive exercising in previous months has paid off.
My reaction only makes him laugh more. I roll my eyes. "I wasn't thinking about Will when you came into the room. I was thinking about how happy I am having all of you here." I raise a brow to him. "Although I may be rethinking your presence here at the moment."
"Why?" Will asks, as he enters the kitchen.
I sigh heavily, glaring at Owen. Will chuckles. 'What did you do?" he asks, Owen.
"Oh nothing. Just keeping my sister in line while looking out for my nieces and nephew." He reaches for the platter of vegetable and meat kabobs ready for the grill and head outside.
Will moves to me placing his hands on my hips. I relax at his touch. "What did he say?" he probes for more information.
Normally Owen's teasing wouldn't bother me, but today it is. "He tells me I need to stop looking at you like I'm undressing you." He's just trying to get a rise out of me.
He nods with a smile. "Mmm, that's not a bad thing is it?"
"No, it's just the principle of the thing." I press closer to him and relax.
He leans over and kisses my forehead.
"What were you and Zach talking about out there? He looked a bit nervous."
"Zach will tell you." Just then Zach enters the kitchen, and Will steps away from me.
"Mom, can we talk for a minute?" he asks.
"Yes," I say nervously. Now I'm worried. All my motherly instincts kick into high gear. He's lost his job. He's got some addiction problem that he's been hiding. Wow, I really need to calm my mind down.
I follow him through the family room, and into the den closing the door behind us. "Zach, what is going on?"
"I'm going to ask Rachel to marry me tonight." He pulls a black velvet box out of his pocket and opens it to reveal a stunning diamond ring.
I'm speechless. This scenario never crossed my mind. I knew he and Rachel were serious. They've been dating for nearly three years now. I'm happy for him, for them. I like Rachel. But to tell me he's proposing just hours before it happens…
"Mom, look I know what you're going to ask. Have I thought this through? Am I sure I'm ready? Why didn't I tell you before now? Does Dad know? Did I talk to Rachel's parents?"
I nod slowly, still trying to take in his news. He read me almost as well as Will does. "Well…yes," I acknowledge. "But," Now I can't contain my excitement. I take two steps towards him and wrap my arms around him into a hug. It takes a few moments for him to embrace me back. I think he was expecting a lecture.
"Zach, I'm happy for you. For both of you." I say, as we part. "I really like Rachel." I mean it. She's been good for Zach. And they seem to be a good fit for each other. She already feels like a member of the family.
"Thanks, Mom," he says, with relief.
And then it hits me. "Wait, you told Will you were proposing before me?" I'm slightly hurt. It's ridiculous I know. I'm glad he and Will have been able to form such a good relationship, but…
"Yes. I needed his help getting a few things ready for tonight. Don't be mad. He really wanted to tell you, but I wanted it to be a surprise."
This is a suitable answer I suppose. I nod. "Okay. Does your father know?"
"No. I was going to call him after dinner. I did talk to Rachel's parents, but I didn't tell them when I was going propose. I figure I'll leave that up to her."
"Good." I'm so happy for him I go in for another hug.
At dusk we all walk down the path from the house to the beach. Mira is sitting on Will's shoulders and is the first to see it. "Daddy, what's that?" she asks, pointing down the path. "It's pretty."
"That's a surprise," he says, as we round the corner past the last trees. Now I'm able to better see what she saw. Our small boardwalk is lined with paper lanterns glowing in the dimming light. At the end of the boardwalk is a small sailboat, with tiny twinkling lights running up both of the sail poles. On the side of the boat I make out a company logo that I recognize well. It's a company that Will and I represent through the law firm.
We stop walking and move to the side so the others can see. They all assume this is something Will has done for me. All eyes, except for Zach's, turn to him as Zach takes Rachel's hand and pulls her towards the dock.
"What's going on?" Grace asks, as we follow.
"Just watch," I whisper. Will puts one arm around me while steadying Mira with his other.
I watch with a full heart as Zach gives Rachel the little speech he's prepared and gets down on one knee. The scene before us is beautiful. The sky is filled with color from the setting sun behind us and reflects off the dark blue water.
Rachel says yes without hesitation and suddenly my eyes fill with tears. My baby boy is all grown up. We all make our way down the dock for congratulations before they board the boat. They have their own personal captain for a close up view of the fireworks that will begin soon.
"Mom, you're not supposed to cry," Zach says, leaning in a for a hug.
"I'm your mother. I can cry whenever I want over you."
Everyone chuckles, and then they're off.
We make our way to the spot on the beach where we'll watch the fireworks. We spread out the blankets and pull the pie out of the picnic basket. Our attempts at making a patriotic berry pie has the looks of tasting good. Grace and Aubrey insisted we make the pie from scratch, including the crust. Aubrey had a recipe from her mother, the real chef in the family. So, I left the crust up to the girls while I cut up the berries and prepared the syrup for the filling. Assuming we did everything right it will be delicious.
Grace cuts and serves a piece to everyone. She sets a plate down in front of Mira. "I want whipped cream," she says, looking at Will and Owen's pieces topped with the white creamy stuff.
"Just a little," I say.
Grace adds a tiny scoop to her pie. "I want as much as Daddy," Mira adds, with a little whine.
"That's enough, pumpkin," Will says.
She folds her arms across her chest in disappointment at scowls at her father. All the adults try to avoid looking at her as we smile at her indignation.
I take in a deep breath to keep from laughing as I speak to her. "Sweetie, we don't want to get your nice new clean pajamas dirty, right? Try the pie with that much. I bet it will be real good." She turns her gaze to me holding the scowl on her face.
"Mira, look," Grace says. "I'm going to have as much as you. I think it's just right."
Mira watches Grace intently to make sure they have the same amount. This seems to appease her. She lifts up her fork and dips it into her pie. Thank heavens for big sisters, I think to myself. She may have had a long nap this afternoon, but it's nearly two hours past her bedtime now. This could have turned into a major three-year old meltdown ruining the evening for a few of us.
The pie is put away and we're all comfortably sitting on the blankets as we watch the fireworks explode in all their brilliant colors over the ocean. Mira sits in Grace's lap and points in sheer amazed joy after each loud boom.
I lean over to Will. "It was nice of you to get the boat for Zach,"
"It was no big deal. He called me last week and asked for some advice on it. I told him I'd get it set up since I knew of the company."
"Thank you," I say genuinely. "How long do they have it for?"
"A few hours, and then he's got a room for them at a bed and breakfast somewhere close by for the night."
This is all good, but I have to admit the thought of my son getting his own room at a bed and breakfast is a little hard to swallow. He and Rachel have lived together for two years now, but this still pulls at my mama bear heart strings. I'm not ready for him to be so grown up.
"I can hear the wheels spinning from here, Leesh," Will says. "They're not kids anymore."
I look at him and smile. "I know. I just can't believe he's old enough to get married and…" No, no, no. I don't want my mind going there.
He laughs. "You can't say it can you?" He scoots closer and puts his arm around my shoulder. "Sex, Leesh. And trust me they're old enough."
"I know. It's just that it's like being in high school and imagining your parents having sex. He's my son."
"Yes, all grown up now." He squeezes me tight and I appreciate the comfort. "It'll be okay. Just try not to think about it. Think about more pleasant things. Like this afternoon for instance."
I nod and rest my head on his shoulder. "We're going to be old by the time Mira gets married," I say.
"No, we're never getting old," he counters.
"You promise?" I say, as the last booms of sparkling light explode in the air.
"I promise."
His gentle hand reaches under my chin softly pushing my head up so he can give me a long lingering kiss.
A/N Thank you for reading! I know it's been ages since I updated this. I hope you all enjoyed it.