Bellamy pushed open the curtain covering the doors to the ship with my feet and walked carefully to avoid shaking me any more than he had to. I was shocked at the tenderness in his movements, especially considering how volatile I'd been to him this morning and it was reassuring to find that nothing had changed between us. Bellamy paused once inside, clutching onto me tightly as he scanned the room for somewhere to position me. Murphy rushed over, examining me with an air of guilt.
"Shit, not you too." He hissed and his eyes revealed his sympathy for my condition.
"I'm fine Bellamy, you need to get out, please." I begged, staring up at him with pleading eyes. He shifted reluctantly on the spot, refusing to loosen his grip and I tried my best not to breathe directly onto him.
"You can leave her with me." Murphy offered with a tender voice, leaning out to take me from Bellamy's arms. Bellamy took a rapid step back, removing my weak body from Murphy's reach and eyed him suspiciously.
"You're still sick, you should be resting." He spat and although his words were reasonable, I could tell from his tone that he wanted to be aggressive and was attempting not to attack Murphy whilst I could witness it.
"Octavia says it doesn't last long and she's right, I'm feeling better." Murphy explained and I inspected him with concern. It wasn't long ago that he was trembling and vulnerable, and it didn't feel right to burden him with me. He noticed the hesitation in my face and turned his attention to me. "You took care of me, now let me return the favour." He compelled and I couldn't help contain my worry which continued to fill my face, despite how awful I was feeling. "I can take her from here man." Murphy regarded Bellamy again in an attempt to reason with him. I peeked back up at my carrier and noticed that he still seemed to be guarded, glancing from me to Murphy with a conflicted expression.
"Bellamy, please." I pleaded hoarsely, hardly able to get the words out. "Put me down and get out while you still can." I begged as I started to run out of ideas. I was all too aware that every second he spent here, especially in such close proximity to me, only increased his risk of catching it. I couldn't bear the thought of watching him suffer and I was terrified that the illness would kill him. Just at the right moment, I heard the panicked voice of Octavia calling from the other side of the room.
"Bellamy, what are you doing in here?" She rushed over toward us and as she neared, her gaze fell on me. She looked both interested and terrified at the same time, before sighing deeply at my worried face. "If he's not sick already, he's probably immune like Finn and I." She reassured with a soft tone and I was glad that she knew me well enough to see exactly what my concerns were. "Even so, you can stop clinging to her Bel. Murphy and I will make sure she's taken care of." She declared as she turned her attention to Bellamy and the ordering tone in her voice seemed to finally reach him.
As he assessed me, I hoped that the additional presence of Octavia would convince him that I was in safe hands. He leaned forward to transfer me into Murphy's waiting arms and although he strained to take my weight in his weakened state, Octavia assisted him in carrying me. Together they took me to the last available hammock and they were careful to settle me in comfortably. I felt nauseous from the movement and by now I could barely keep my eyes open, but I continued to battle to remain conscious. Octavia rushed to grab some water and helped me to take slow sips. Murphy appeared at my other side with a damp rag and gently used it to cool my burning face, as I had done to him earlier. As soon as he could see that I was being cared for, Bellamy reluctantly strode from the ship. I glanced to my side to see Finn tending to Clarke worriedly and I couldn't help feeling frustrated to see that he was still in here.
"You two are fine." I conceded as I looked at Murphy and Octavia. Murphy had already been sick so I assumed he was no longer in danger and Octavia had already been around sick people for hours without any symptoms. Finn on the other hand had only spent a few minutes of fleeting contact with Clarke and I worried over the risk of his continued place at her side. "But Finn, you need to be leaving too. There's no room for any more heroics in here." I suggested in a gentle tone as I tried to appeal to him, but he looked back at me in annoyance.
"I'm not leaving Clarke." He spat through gritted teeth and I understood that I was probably the last person he wanted to hear from at this moment.
"They're going to need as much help as they can get out there." I reasoned as I continued to try to make him see sense and I noticed that Clarke was asleep anyway. "And I'd appreciate if you could fill in as the voice of reason for Clarke and I so that Bellamy doesn't do anything too stupid and reckless." I gazed over at him with pleading eyes and he seemed to be considering my words carefully. Octavia considered him with an encouraging smile.
"We'll take good care of Clarke." She stated as she assessed him. "She's looked after everyone else, she's earned it." Octavia confirmed and I was pleased to have her supporting me. Murphy seemed to clock on too and turned from me to face him.
"Look, at this rate when the grounders get here, there won't be anyone left to fight back." He spoke in an even tone, shrugging at him in a way that implied that he would have to make his own decision, before returning to my side. Octavia moved to take water to another sick camp member, crouching down to help them drink.
"That's the point." She commented, looking at Finn as she worked. It was interesting to see the two of them working together on something.
"Then we slow them down." Finn answered determinedly and I was surprised to see that he planned to be helpful. He stormed out of the ship with purpose and I tried not to wonder what he was up to. I sighed in relief at his departure, glad to know that someone relatively sensible would be keeping an eye on Bellamy for me. I squinted at Murphy with heavy lidded eyes.
"I'm glad to see you're feeling better." I smiled earnestly at him and he fidgeted, unsure how to accept the words. "But you should seriously be resting, not carrying people around." I scolded and I could tell from his posture that carrying me had exhausted him.
"You're the only reason I had the chance to feel better, I really do want to return the favour." He smiled thankfully and I was surprised by the genuine tone in his voice. "You got sick because you wouldn't leave me to suffer, even after you realised I was contagious. So now I'm not gonna leave you." He continued to cool my face with the rag and I was too drained to fight him any more.
I was struggling to keep my eyes open and the heat poured off my skin. My breathing was laboured and difficult through the fog of the infection. I could feel myself slipping into sleep when I suddenly bolted forward and retched loudly. My whole body surged violently as the thick red liquid spewed out and Murphy held back my hair whilst I cleared it from my system. Once I'd finished, I leaned back into my hammock and he wiped my face clean.
"I feel disgusting." I groaned quietly and I couldn't help feeling embarrassed that he was tending to me when I was in such a state. Murphy smirked slightly at my words, but I noticed that it didn't reach his eyes.
"Welcome to the club." He chuckled lightly under his breath and I felt as if there was a deeper meaning to his words. "That's the worst of it out. Just try to rest." He spoke encouragingly and I felt the heaviness of sleep pulling me under before I could do anything else to fight it.
- O - O - O - O - O -
When I next opened my eyes, I couldn't see Murphy or Octavia. I laid staring at the ceiling for a while, feeling the dizziness of the illness pinning me to the hammock. I heard movement and coughing, and Octavia cried out.
"Clear some space! Lay him down."
My heart skipped a beat at the tone in her voice and I was convinced from her panicked words that Bellamy had just been bought in. I struggled in an attempt to sit myself up and as I managed to lift my upper body, my head felt as if it weighed ten times its usual weight. The whole room spun around me as I dragged myself to my feet and I couldn't focus enough to see what was going on. I was sure that I heard Bellamy's frantic voice, but before I could take a single step, I was intercepted by a blurred form that grabbed my shoulders.
"Indigo, what are you doing? You're not well enough to be on your feet yet!" I heard Murphy's concerned voice, but couldn't focus on his face.
"Bellamy…" I mumbled through the haze in my brain. "I heard Bellamy." I forced myself to speak the words in a strained voice.
"Octavia is with him, she's taking care of him. Now let me take care of you." Murphy insisted, lifting me back into the hammock with some strain. I felt the support of the hammock underneath me again, but before I could move back into a reclined position, I lurched forward to vomit again. Once I'd finished, I laid back and felt a tear sliding down my cheek. My vision finally cleared enough to see Murphy's worried face, but everything beyond him was still a blur. He wiped gently at my face to clean me up before helping me to drink some water.
"Get some sleep, you're nearly through the lowest point." He spoke softly and his voice was the last thing I registered as I fell back into unconsciousness.
- O - O - O - O - O -
I opened my eyes and was immediately relieved to find that the heaviness in my head had gone. I wiped my brow and noticed that my fever seemed to finally have broken too. I sat up and found that Murphy was immediately at my side. He felt my forehead and inspected me in surprise. Now that I felt clearer, I fixed him with a scrutinising look and rushed out my request for an update before he could tell me to rest.
"Octavia and Bellamy?" I questioned firmly and he smiled in amusement.
"Bellamy's out cold and I sent Octavia for a break, she was looking after people all night. Pretty much everyone's asleep so I can manage on my own for now." He answered as if responding to a command, winking at me. "You seem better already, that's quicker than anyone else." He leaned to his side to call out to someone. "You might want to check this one over." He announced before he moved out of my view and Clarke took his place.
"You burned that out quickly." She commented as she felt my forehead. She used a flashlight to check my eyes and mouth, and I struggled to concentrate on her as I could hear Bellamy refusing to take water or accept any help from Murphy. Clarke studied me skeptically. "You seem fine and I can see that you're desperate to go to him. Just take it easy." She ordered with a worried tone and I nodded in acceptance. I carefully got to my feet and took a moment to check that I was stable before moving. I was relieved to finally see Bellamy sat up on a makeshift bed facing Murphy, who was clearly stressed by how difficult he was being.
"When I get better, if you're still here-" As I neared them, I caught Bellamy's words. I crouched down and tapped Murphy on the shoulder.
"Take a break Murphy, I'll deal with this trouble maker." I smiled reassuringly at him and he took the opportunity to scamper away. I sat just in front of Bellamy and his face softened when he saw me. I picked up the water container and handed it to him in a firm voice. "Here." I spoke in a way that was more of an order than a request. He took it from me but didn't drink from it, instead analysing me with a fond look.
"You look better than when I last saw you." He smiled at me with relief in his eyes and I felt myself gradually relaxing now that I'd seen he was alright.
"Bellamy, are you saying that I looked bad last time you saw me?" I asked in a feigned offence. He flashed a tired smile back at me and I tapped his arm that was clinging to the water bottle. "Drink up, you need to stay hydrated." I insisted and waited whilst he took long sips of water, sitting in a comfortable silence. I'd been so afraid for him when I last woke that I felt relieved just watching him.
"Have you seen Octavia?" He grilled and scanned around the room as if he feared he had simply missed her.
"She was looking after people all night, Murphy sent her to get some sleep whilst he covers." I explained and watched as his face hardened at the mention of his name.
"Murphy, you two seem to be getting on better than ever before." He said bitterly and I sensed the same hint of jealousy that I had this morning when I'd been tending to Murphy. Although I understood how this might look to him after I'd ran out of his tent, I was still surprised to find him behaving this way. I couldn't believe that he would think there was anyone else that could replace him. "Don't tell me you trust him now?" He asked accusingly and I knew that this was a loaded question.
"It's not that simple." I sighed and he observed me closely as I spoke. "He's been through a lot worse punishment than we would ever have given. What's the point in continuing to harm? When does it end?" I tried to speak in a compelling manner, but his face remained unchanged.
"That doesn't answer my question." He stated impatiently as his eyes burned into my face.
"Trust is earned, not given." I answered in a poignant tone as I met his eyes and I knew that he'd understood my meaning when he smiled warmly back. "It's only fair to give him a chance to earn his place here." I added carefully, ensuring that I didn't imply that there was anything more between us. Before he could decide whether to argue with me about this, Clarke appeared at my side.
"How are you feeling?" She enquired as she appraised him and although I didn't appreciate her interruption, I was glad for her to check him over.
"Better than I did." He answered evenly as his eyes flitted back to me and I smiled at this small indication that he felt interrupted too. "Are you feeling better?" He asked politely and she nodded in response. He sighed as he pondered the space which was now filled with camp members who had fallen sick during the night. "It's almost dawn, better get everyone inside. If we lock the doors maybe the grounders will think we're not home." He reasoned and I raised my brows at him for immediately returning to business when he was clearly still sick.
"Not everyone's sick?" Clarke questioned and I couldn't help but feel annoyed at her for encouraging him.
"Sick is better than dead." Bellamy insisted firmly.
"You don't think Finn and Jasper are gonna pull it off?" Clarke asked and I raised a brow at her. I wasn't sure what harebrained scheme they'd come up with now and I decided that I didn't have the capacity to deal with it.
"Do you?" Bellamy replied with uncertainty and Clarke took a moment to consider her answer. I tried not to allow my mind to wander over what Jasper could have gotten himself into this time in the silence.
"I'll get everyone inside." She sighed reluctantly before slowly getting to her feet. Bellamy moved to get up after her and I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
"No you don't." I declared firmly as I held him in position and I almost laughed at the sheer confusion on his face.
"I have to help." He tried to argue but his voice cracked as he spoke, only further confirming to me that he hadn't fully recovered yet.
"You're still sick, I don't care what's going on out there, you need to rest." I maintained my grip on him despite the annoyance in his face and scrutinised him with a disapproving expression.
"I can't just sit here Indie, it's almost dawn." He stated and I raised my brow at him.
"And there are plenty of people who have already recovered who can deal with that. You are going to help by getting some sleep and recovering, so that when Jasper and Finn pull off whatever you've planned, you're ready to help us pull this camp back together." I insisted but he still moved to get up again. I pushed on his chest and as he was still weak, I was easily able to force him back into a seated position.
He flashed me a frustrated glare and opened his mouth to argue, but instead was suddenly sick again. I moved out of his way so that he could lean forward, worried that he would choke otherwise as I'd seen happen to several others. I took a seat at the head of the bed, rubbing his back to comfort him.
When he'd finished, he was weak and flopped backwards toward me. I guided him to lean back into lying down with my hands on his shoulders and brought his head to rest in my lap. His skin still poured with heat and I grabbed a cloth to wipe around his mouth. I smoothed his hair away from his face to put a damp cloth on his forehead and continued stroking his hair soothingly. "I-I need to help Clarke." He stuttered in a hoarse voice as he stared up at me in an unfocused gaze.
"You're no help to anyone like this." I scolded, but it was clear to me that he still hadn't given up on the idea and I worried that he might try to jolt to his feet at any moment. "Murphy!" I called out and was glad when he immediately rushed over to my side. "Can you wake Octavia and ask her to help Clarke to bring people inside?" I requested with a thankful smile and he nodded, heading into the back of the ship. "There, Clarke has help, now will you relax?" I suggested firmly to Bellamy and he sighed deeply. He didn't say anything in response but his shoulders seemed to drop their tension and his head rolled back into my lap. I kept the cloth on his face to bring his temperature down and threaded my fingers through his hair calmingly. "I told you to stay away from me, I didn't want you to get sick." I muttered, regretful that this had happened to him. I hated seeing him this way and the very sight of him suffering tugged at my heart strings.
"No regrets, it was worth it." He voiced and I smiled down at him fondly. It felt natural this way with him and I didn't have to consider how to soothe him, it seemed like something I was made to do. "How much sleep have you had recently?" I grilled, worriedly surveying his exhausted form. He always seemed to be involved in everything that happened in camp and I wondered if he ever allowed himself the time to sleep.
"Do I look that bad?" He remarked and tried to laugh, despite looking awfully ill. I couldn't help but to admire his resilience.
"I didn't say anything about looking bad. You're putting words in my mouth." I retorted coyly with a bashful smile and he scoffed at my words.
"I'm sweating and covered in my own sick. And you're messing up my hair." He commented as he clocked me in pretend annoyance. "It's okay, you can say it." He drawled and I was impressed at his capacity to keep things playful and comfortable, despite how sick he was feeling. I couldn't even see straight at this point in my sickness.
"And yet you could give the guys in this camp a hell of a competition." I answered honestly and surprised myself when I involuntarily smiled at him flirtatiously. "I'm sorry, did you want me to stop ruining your carefully crafted hairstyle?" I teased, taking my hands away and earning a look of disappointment.
"I didn't say that, now who's putting words in whose mouth?" He spoke roguishly, moving my hands back to his hair like a cat who wanted to continue being petted and I laughed as I returned to playing with his hair, watching his eyes flutter closed in response. I admired him thoughtfully, enjoying the look of him with his hair swept back. It allowed me to see more of his face, that even whilst he was pale and sweaty, was still hypnotising to me. I felt a pang of nostalgia as I observed him.
"I think it kinda looks like it did when I first saw you, when the ship landed." I mused thoughtfully, threading my fingers through his locks. "Except not quite as smooth as it was then." I admitted with a lilt of amusement. He opened his eyes to assess me and I could identify the glimmer of mischief in his gaze.
"You remember what I looked like Indie?" He emphasized with a teasing tone and I felt a slight rosy blush in my cheeks at his remark, but smiled at him regardless.
"Of course, it wasn't that long ago. It just feels like we've been here forever." I commented in a nonchalant manner and he shrugged as much as he could manage in his weakened state.
"It sounds to me like I made an impression." He suggested confidently earning a bark of laughter from me.
"You always do." I breathed with a giggle and he observed me with a plain enjoyment. "You need to get some sleep Bel." I instructed gently, despite feeling as if I could stay in this position with him forever. I moved to stand but he gripped my hand as if he were clinging to life itself.
"Stay with me." He requested in a small, pleading voice and I examined him quizzically. "I'm afraid." He admitted in a low whisper and I felt his hand shaking in mine. I remembered how terrified I felt when I woke in the middle of the night and my firm expression crumbled. I settled back into place and he made himself comfortable, turning slightly onto his side so that he could grip my leg for security. I smoothed his hair back into place and stroked at his face with a featherlight touch until he dropped off to sleep. I was surprised when he slept through the commotion of people filing into the ship and I managed to keep anyone from waking him for a while. It was clear that he needed the rest and I was determined to give him as much time as I could. In the middle of the migration into the ship, there was a distant explosion and Bellamy bolted awake.
"What the hell was that?" I hissed in shock as I stared toward the doors.
"They did it." Bellamy breathed simply as he sat up and I leaned around to get a look at him.
"Of course your plan was to blow something up." I remarked with a fond smile as he turned slightly to face me. I was relieved to find that he was back to his normal colour and no longer sweating. His eyes were still red but he looked as well as Clarke and I did. "You look like you're feeling better." I sighed thankfully and noticed that he glimpsed back at the doors out of the corner of his eye. "Okay, I can see you itching to get out there, go investigate. Just do me a favour and take it easy." I added, releasing my grip on him. He smiled gratefully at me before rushing to his feet and straight into the perils of camp.