A/N I'm so sorry this took so long but I had training and a match today (we lost:( ). And I was away for a week and I couldn't take my laptop with me and none of my stuff was on my phone and then my computer completely wiped everything I had written. So, I had to come up with whatever I could remember and hope for the best. Well anyway, I hope you're all doing okay with this covid stuff and stay safe.

Chapter twenty- Tris POV

I could feel the stares on me as I walked into school alone. I had waited for Tobias and called and texted, but he didn't answer so I walked by myself. I had chewed my nails the whole way and couldn't help but wonder was it my fault? He's been at my house way more often than usual to help me get through this but never thought about how he could be affected by it.

My distraction about Tobias was the only thing that got me to my locker without running from the stares. I shoved my books in my bag and slid into my seat next to Shauna just as the teacher arrived. She looked at me worriedly, probably because I looked a mess. My hair was thrown in a messy bun, my clothes were all rumpled from half running to get here on time, my books were falling out of my bag, my nails were chewed down to the cuticle and there were dark bags under my eyes.

"Tris… you okay?"

I forced an unconvincing smile on my face and said, "Just a bit tired, that's all."

I could see she wanted to ask more but class was starting, and she knew if I didn't want to talk, I wouldn't talk. I was in a daze for most of the class, but I managed to get some notes down to make it look like I cared. I got up as soon as the bell rang and was out of the class before Shauna could get a word out.

I slipped into the crowd and hid, my small size being an advantage for once. I could feel someone's eyes on me as I weaved around swinging bags and falling books. I quickened my pace and took a shortcut to art, hoping to lose them. I reached the classroom at the same time as Christina thankfully and walked in listening to a story about some kid who broke his arm dancing on a pool table at a party a week ago. I just nodded along and settled into my seat.

The next couple of classes passed in a blur until I found myself under the tree on the quad as Zeke bet his cake that Uriah couldn't squirt ketchup out of his nose and hit a circle he drew on a napkin. I looked on in quiet amusement as I studied my friends. Uriah and Zeke were being there usual goofball selves. Christina and Will were holding hands and being cute while she talked his ear off. Lynn was quiet but her lips twitched up as she watched the boys. Marlene was smiling broadly as she gazed at an oblivious Uriah. And when my gaze found Lauren, I saw hers already on me.

She raised an eyebrow at me and motioned for me to go with her. I got up quietly and shrugged at Christina when she gave me a questioning look. I followed Lauren across the quad to the bleachers. They were empty for once, so we sat down at the very top and watched students walk by, joking and laughing. They looked so happy; I can't remember the last time I felt as carefree as them. It felt like an eternity ago.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Are you okay? And don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullshit. I want the brutal truth because I'm worried about you Tris and I don't want you to bottle it up and feel alone."

"I don't want to talk about it," I whispered.

"Tris, I'm really worried. If you don't talk about this, it'll make it harder to do it later. Please."

"You don't know what it's like."

"Yeah, I don't but I care about you and think you should talk about it.

"No Lauren, you don't get it! You don't know what it's like to wake up every day knowing that he will be there and knowing that people will never look at you the same! I hate whoever took that photo because I didn't want people to know! And they didn't know what actually happened because they didn't even try to stop it!" I yelled.

I lowered my gaze as I took a deep breath to try and ward off the tears. I hadn't realised how hard it was keeping this bottled up until Lauren pointed it out. Now all I could feel was it suffocating me, and I had to get it out. So, I did.

"I just can't stop replaying that night over and over in my head and wondering if I could have stopped him. I didn't want to tell Four about it but before he came up, Peter had touched me and kissed me. I tried to shove him off, but he was so strong. Four assumed that he had stopped him from getting that far but had he been a couple minutes later he would have done it. All I can feel are his hands touching me. I can't even look at myself without crying. I feel so alone, especially when I'm surrounded by people because it reminds me of the party when I was alone. I barely get any sleep because the nightmares keep me up every night. I don't know what to do. And the worst part is that I see him here, everyday smiling as if nothing happened. Because it didn't affect him the way it affected me."

Lauren stared at me before pulling me in for a hug. "I can't possibly know what you're going through but it's obviously shit." Her blunt way of putting it startled a laugh from me as she continued. "But we are all here for you. If you want, you can sleep over at mine or Chris' or Shauna's. We just want to help. This feeling of him violating you will probably never leave but it will fade with time and you can build your confidence back up. You've been through a lot Tris, but you always come out stronger, always."

I sniffled as I pulled away and gave her a watery smile. "Thanks Lauren. I should be getting better with the nightmares but if they get worse, I'll tell you. You're a great friend."

"I learned from the best," she replied smiling. "If you need to talk about him or the nightmares, please don't bottle it up."

"I won't," I said, the lie tasting bitter in my mouth. I just couldn't burden them with this anymore. She had already done so much, how could I ask her to do more? We walked back together, chatting about meaningless things, and laughing at stupid jokes. I felt considerably lighter, but I knew the only person who could fully take away the load wasn't here.

. . .

Four's POV

I woke up feeling sticky and weak. I tried to get up but as soon as I moved my head was spinning and my back was in excruciating pain. I prised my eyes open and slowly took in my surroundings. Everything was really high up, so I assumed I was on the ground. I looked to my left and saw a bloody poker lying on the hearth. I felt nauseous when I realised it was my blood. I turned away and tried to crawl to the stairs, where I would be safe from his rage.

I managed to drag myself a foot along the carpet when I heard footsteps. I immediately relaxed my muscles and feigned unconsciousness. The footsteps were crisp and heavy as he walked into the room and stopped by my head. He felt for my pulse, probably to make sure I was alive and started to shake me moments later. When I didn't respond, he cursed and stormed off to his study.

I counted three minutes in my head and when he did not return, I opened my eyes and resumed my journey to the stairs. I reached the stairs and grabbed onto the railing and attempted to pull myself up. My muscles strained as I fought my way into a standing position and dragged myself up the stairs. When I reached the top, I crawled to my room and pulled myself up on the bed.

I saw my phone lying there and checked the time. Holy shit! It's six o clock! I was supposed to be at work today and bring Tris to school… Oh god Tris. How did she get to school? Is she okay? It was at that moment that I noticed the five missed calls and twenty texts. I really fucked up. I pressed the call button and hoped she would pick up. I was getting nervous by the fourth ring because it goes to voice mail on the sixth but thankfully, she picked up.

"Tobias," she whispered in relief. I couldn't help but smile hearing her voice. God, I loved her.

"Hi," I croaked before clearing my throat. "Sorry about not picking you up it's just that I just woke up and I couldn't move and I feel really bad-"

"Tobias," she said cutting me off as she closed a door in the background. Probably so we could talk in private. "Don't you dare apologise for what he did. I was fine getting to school, but I was more worried about you. I'll come over as soon as I'm finished my shift."

"You don't have to do that… wait did you say shift. You went back to work?"

"Well I wanted to get things back in control and this seemed like a great way to start. Plus, I'm not coming over because I have to. I'm coming over because I want to."

"Okay. How was school, are you okay?"

"Yes, I went to practice, and Lauren and I talked about everything which was nice. Are you okay, it must have been pretty bad?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle," I replied as I shifted to my side. I couldn't help the groan that escaped me when the newly formed scabs cracked open. I closed my eyes against the fresh wave of pain and prayed she hadn't heard me. But of course, I had no such luck.

"Tobias, are you sure you're okay? I can be over there in ten minutes if you need me to. Lynn will cover for me."

"Don't you dare. I'll be fine, you stay there. Honestly, you worry too much."

"I don't worry enough. Be safe," she whispered as she hung up. I covered my face in shame, knowing that I had abandoned her. How could I? She forgave me yeah, but that doesn't mean that I forgive me. I just lay there with my guilt wondering how I could make it up to her. I must have dozed off because what felt like second later there was a knocking on my window.

I peeled my eyes open and saw her gorgeous grey eyes filled with horror. Unsure why she would look that way, I turned around and saw nothing. I slowly pulled myself up and undid the latch on the window. She was in before I had fully opened the window and wrapped her arms around my neck, her head resting against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her for a moment before I started to feel unsteady on my feet. I pulled away and lowered myself down to the bed, laying on my stomach.

I turned my head towards her and saw the same look of horror as before shining back from her shining grey eyes, filling with tears. She stumbled over to the first aid kit and attempted to remove my shirt in a matter of seconds. I tried to protest but then she shot me a look that said there was no arguing with her.

As she grabbed the gauze and painkillers, I saw her hands shaking so I reached my hand back and gave hers a squeeze. She smiled a watery smile down at me and got to work. I hissed as she pulled it away from my raw back and heard her gasp. It must have been pretty bad seeing as she had been seeing this for years.

She cleaned the wounds as I bit down on my pillow to muffle my cries of pain. She wrapped my back expertly and gave me some painkillers. I managed to struggle up into a sitting position and placed a million pillows behind me to keep me upright. When I was upright, I reached for her hand and kissed it, startling a small smile from her.

"Why did he do it this time?" she asked, looking as if she were bracing herself for something.

"I came home, and he said that the media was spinning some story about him and his campaign was failing so he took it out on me."

She let out a sigh of relief and turned her gaze towards me. It still amazes me that after so long, she continues to make my heart race and steal my breath away. Sure, she isn't perfect but that's what makes her human. And perfects over-rated anyway. I'd rather have someone interesting who makes mistakes and leans from them than someone who does everything right the first time.

I leaned in to kiss her and wound my fingers through her long blonde hair. I loved the way it was just wavy enough that it trapped my fingers. I pulled her closer, ignoring the pain in my back, inviting in the pleasant sensations of her lips on my mine. She tried to pull away, but I just used this opportunity to kiss her neck down to the sensitive spot on her collarbone. She gasped and pulled me back to her, slowing it down until our foreheads were leaning against each other, sharing small smiles.

"I missed you," I whispered, scared to disturb the perfect silence that had settled between us.

"I missed you too Number Boy."

"You're starting to sound like Chris."

"Well I think it suits you," she said before we fell silent, enjoying this moment with each other.

"We're very broken, aren't we?" I said eventually breaking the silence.

"We'll be broken together," she whispered as she rested her head on my chest. I could feel myself drifting off and fought to stay in this moment with her forever. But exhaustion eventually one out and I closed my eyes to face him once again.

I was sitting in the ground of our house, playing with my dinosaurs. I could hear my mom humming in the kitchen as my dinosaurs attacked each other. I ran around with them and almost bashed into my mom who was preparing dinner. I startled a rare laugh from her as I rushed back into the living room and launched myself onto the couch.

I was hanging upside down on the couch bashing their heads together when I heard a sound I knew to fear even at that age. My father's car pulling up in the driveway. My mom immediately stopped humming and made sure everything was in its place on the table and the dinner was in the right bowls.

She smoothed down her apron and tucked my shirt in. She walked into the hall and took my dad's coat and hat from him. She hung them up as I rushed to my seat in the dining room. I had been in such a rush that I had forgotten to put away a couple of my dinosaurs. I hoped he wouldn't notice and sat still as he entered.

"Tobias," he greeted, and I couldn't help but stare at his eyes. They were usually a dark blue like mine but now they were pitch black pits in his skull. I quickly lowered my gaze as fear took hold and replied, "Father."

"Did you do as you were told at school?"

"Yes father."

"Did you get everything right on your spelling test?"

"Yes father."

"Well done," he said then turned around with an angry expression on his face. "Evelyn! Where is the dinner?"

"Right here my dear," she said, hiding her fear behind weak smiles.

We all started to eat then, me eating only a small amount because if I took too much, he said it was self-indulgent. I poked at my chicken fillet and canned peas while he ate his steak. He insisted that we eat more plain foods until we could learn to be better. We ate in silence and cleaned up the same way.

He grabbed a beer and headed to the living room. This was my cue to leave for my room to avoid his uncontrollable temper. I was almost at the stairs when I went cold all over. I had left the cars on the sofa, in my father's spot. I turned to see his withering gaze settle on me as he beckoned me forward.

My feet moved as if they had a mind of their own and before I knew it, I was standing in front of him. He was glaring at me as if his life depended on it when his fist came out of nowhere. I cried out in pain as my mother ran into the room. She looked on in his horror as he kicked me where I was on the floor.

"Do you know what happens to bold little boys like you, Tobias?" he asked venomously as he mercilessly backhanded me when I tried to get up. "They get put in their place. This is for your own good."

With that, he lashed out with the belt, catching me across the face, then my stomach and multiple times across my back. I was crying as he did it, but the tears only seemed to make him angrier. Then suddenly, my mom was there, taking every blow for me and yelling for me to go to my room. I ran there as fast as I could and collapsed against the door as I let out gut wrenching sobs.

Then I heard something unusual. It was someone calling my name. Not my father's in anger or my mother in pain but a panicked girls voice. Tris' voice.

I bolted upright as I opened my eyes to Tris lying next to me, holding my hand. I was soaked in sweat and chilled to the bone. That was the day it started, the day my father became a monster to me. I could still feel his belt hitting me, the fear like a fist closing around my heart. I glanced at Tris who was staring on in concern.

"It was Marcus," I said by way of explanation. It was enough for her expression to shift from concern to murderous.

"I'll kill that son of a bitch! Honestly, if I knew for sure that I wouldn't get caught he would already be dead."

"Calm down Tris it was just a dream."

"But it wasn't! He did that to you in real life too and he got away with it!"

"Tris, be quiet or he'll hear."

"I'm beyond caring. Let him come, then I can get revenge."

"You're not the one who's going to get punished Tris," I said quietly. It seemed to snap her out of it and when she turned to me all I saw in her eyes was love and concern. She reached out and cupped my cheek in her hand. I leaned into her warm touch and closed my eyes. These moments of peace were why I couldn't run.

"You better get ready for school," I whispered neither of us moving.

"I should," she agreed.

I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her, head buried in her hair. I gave a sigh of contentment which caused her to smile. I don't know how long we sat there but she eventually left to go to school.

I stumbled into the shower, attempting to keep my bandage as dry as possible which was impossible. I dried myself, threw on my clothes and slowly made my way downstairs. I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed some food. I made my way to the jeep as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast at all. Tris was leaning against the truck and grinned when I came out.

"Hey Number Boy, long time no see," she said grinning.

"What's up Shorty?"

"Nothing much, just missing my boyfriend."

"What a coincidence. I was just missing my girlfriend."

"Well aren't we a pair," she replied and kissed me before we hopped into the jeep. We talked about absolutely nothing on the way to school, avoiding the topics we would rather not acknowledge. We pulled up to school and I carefully got out. We walked up to school, hand in hand and made our way to our lockers.

"So how are you," she asked, feigning casualness which would be convincing if I couldn't see the tension in her shoulders and the concern in her gaze.

"I'm alright, been better, been worse."

"What could be worse than spending an entire day without me? It's like the best thing anyone could spend their time doing."

"Oh, I don't know, I'd rather spend my time with Zeke."

"Really, is that how you want to play it? Fine. You just got yourself two days without me," she said turning away. But I reached out and pulled her in for a kiss. It was short and sweet but seemed to do the trick.

"Fine, you're off the hook just this once. You better not say that near Zeke or his ego will get so big he'll explode."

"Was someone talking about little old me?" Zeke asked as he walked up to us. "I mean, you're always talking about me anyway but what was the subject on this occasion?"

"How big your ego is."

He gasped and clutched his chest as if she had wounded him. "How dare you assume my ego is big! It's more than big, it's astronomical," he said, causing us to laugh as we headed to class.

"Glad to see she's feeling better. We're really worried about her," Zeke whispered as Tris ran ahead to talk to Chris.

"Yeah, me too. She seems better but she still won't talk about it much. She told me the bare minimum and I assume she did the same with you." At Zeke's nod I continued, "She's definitely keeping some of it from us, but I just want her to be happy. And there will be good days like today and there will be shit days too. We've just got to stick by her until she's ok again."

"Well then let's celebrate the good day!"

He ran after Tris then and threw her over his shoulder. She let out a shriek and started laughing so hard he almost dropped her. He walked into our classroom, dumped her in her chair, saluted her and ran away again. Everyone was either looking on in amusement or annoyance. No one was shocked by Zeke these days.

I took my seat next to her and smiled as she babbled on about some story Chris had told her. I laughed and nodded along, happy to see her like this again. Maybe together we could get through this. In that moment I believed we could survive anything life through at us. But god was I wrong.