I'm back! Sort of!
The ending to IF won't be particularly satisfying (in my opinion) because there was always so much going on, so I decided to have it all crash down and only focus on emotion. Let me tell you, it was pretty difficult and I'm still not proud of the result, but I've gotten the fic completely planned/mostly written. Ah, writer problems...

Through Life and Death will update on the 16th and return to its regular schedule.

Chapter Sixteen
Broken
[Weiss]

She moved through the day in a robotic manner, only briefly interacting with the Ice Flower fans and feigning optimism when asked about the concert taking place in just a few hours, she'd managed to force herself into a decent enough mood to sign autographs and take some pictures with a few selected children.

Seeing her younger fans did make her feel a little bit better… They had very little to worry about, and judging by the sheer joy in their eyes, they were experiencing the best day of their lives having the chance to meet her.

Weiss mostly ignored her male fans as she'd met plenty enough to know that all they wanted was to date or flirt with her. That or they claimed to be an aspiring musician and wanted her advice, when all they wanted to do was ogle her or hog all of her spare time.

She knew that her friends could see right through her facade. Pyrrha was often asking her if she needed a break, a drink, a snack, and sometimes asking if she felt alright.

Nora was mostly only there as an attempt to offer her strength and a few reassuring words that didn't help even in the slightest.

Ren tried to be the voice of reason, trying to keep her focused and calm, which Weiss was a little grateful for when one of her fans came up to her; the woman had been a panther faunus with a striking resemblance to Blake.

It only reminded her of how she'd failed her best friend, twice. Pyrrha kept saying that it wasn't her fault at all, because she couldn't have done anything to prevent it, but she couldn't help but to feel guilty.

Weiss had been beyond thankful when she'd finally gotten away from the crowd. It meant that she didn't have to hold as much in, taking a great pressure off her shoulders. She'd retreated straight to her clothing room, where she'd flopped down on her single sofa and released a heavy sigh. She could feel everything inside of her spiraling…

One side of her fretted over the concert, wondering if her current mental state would ruin everything. Her body tensed upon realization; this would be her first concert without Blake in the audience to support her. There would be so many people watching her, so many eyes prying into her and judging her for even the slightest mistake…

Yang also currently despised her, and Weiss thoroughly understood why despite Ruby insisting that it was just her sister's hurt talking and that she didn't mean it. She should mean it. Weiss' career and past relationship with Blake lead to her kidnapping… If she and Blake had never become an item when they were younger, if she'd never pursued her dream of becoming a singer, he likely would have never found her.

No… She would be fine… She could do this.

Inside, she knew that her best friend would be alright and that she needed to trust her, but Blake had only managed to escape the first time because she, Ren, and Nora showed up just in time.

Her friends...

She was upset at her friends for trying to force her with Ruby, and her confusion over her own feelings for the brunette weren't helping. She couldn't tell whether or not they'd developed on their own, or they were only there because she was expected to fall in love with her. Sure, she was fond of the younger artist, but couldn't figure out whether or not she even liked her…

But she kept rejecting Ruby's feelings… To her face. That wasn't an excuse.

Weiss had been on the side of heartbreak before, and it wasn't very fun to experience. But, she was let down easily. Weiss constantly tore out Ruby's heart and stitched it back together, only to rip it to pieces again.

"Asshole…" She muttered to herself, stifling a quiet sob. Weiss grit her teeth and she clutched the side of her armchair, tears pooling at the edges of her eyes. She couldn't get the image of Ruby's masked hurt out of her head. Her heart tightened again and numbing pain rolled through her, heavy with guilt. She tilted her head back as an attempt to withhold the tears stinging at her eyes. "Why do you always do this?!" The singer scolded herself, doubling over to clutch her aching chest. "You fucking… Asshole!"

"Weiss!"

The vocalist's head jerked up, her hazy vision gradually clearing to see Ruby standing in front of her with a concerned expression. "Are you okay? Do you need help?" Ruby murmured worriedly.

Why was she here?

Oh, right… Checking on her for the concert.

"I'm fine." Weiss answered quietly, slowly returning to her senses and blinking herself to reality.

"Weiss…" Ruby's soft voice snapped her from her thoughts again and frosty blue eyes looked up into Ruby's silver pair. The brunette knelt down and Ruby offered her a warm smile that sent butterflies fluttering through Weiss' chest. "I know you're worried, but trust me, she'll be okay. Blake's strong…"

"Y-you don't know that." Weiss murmured, her chest heaving and her breath hitching when Ruby smiled at her.

Ruby reached to rest her hand on Weiss' shoulder, "But I do." She whispered as electricity coursed through Weiss' body. "She survived the White Fang, life on the streets, and she even tolerated you."

Weiss let out a soft laugh, "Wow, ouch." She giggled. Her head snapped up when Ruby laughed in response, her heart nearly being sent into overdrive. She felt a numbing calmness move through her like a calm wave crashing onto shore. Her eyes met with a warm pair of silver, her gaze moved down towards the girl's lips and something sparked inside her chest. All sense ebbed away from her, her mind focused on Ruby's voice.

"Anyway. I doubt she'd want you worrying yourself to the point of paranoia over her safety," Ruby murmured to her reassuringly, making Weiss briefly question what they were talking about, "she'll be just fine-" the girl trailed off and Weiss noticed her brows furrowing. "Weiss?"

A small voice at the back of her mind started screaming at her, begging her to reconsider, the faint echo reverberated in her head multiple times as a warning before she shut it off like a switch.

She leaned forward, having made her decision.

Warmth spread through Weiss' chest when her lips met with Ruby's, but the artist went rigid. 'You fool!' The voice shrieked at her, causing her to briefly question her choice. All in a split second, the roadie jerked away and a heartbroken cry reeled Weiss back to her senses. Her vision cleared just enough to see a quick hand snapping up-

A sharp sting erupted in her cheek and she recoiled back, her hand raising to lightly touch the reddening flesh. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ruby scrambling to her feet. "Ruby-"

"Quit doing this to me!" Ruby cried, her voice cracking with grief and sorrow. She was quivering, her hands clenched and her fists shaking. "It may be all pointless fun for you," she began as Weiss turned her eyes back towards her, guilt retching at her heart, "but it's not for me, Weiss!"

Weiss sat up to her knees carefully, her lips still tingling, her attention never leaving Ruby as the other girl's voice rose higher with each word. She could feel curious, confused eyes watching them. "Ruby…" She whispered regretfully. "I'm sor-"

Ruby cut her off, "Save it! I don't want to hear your 'apology'!" She hollered, her brows creased together in both grief and anger. She grit her teeth, forcing herself to look away from the singer. She stopped trembling and her voice fell calm. "I love you…" She mumbled without feeling, her eyes downcast. "I really, really wish I didn't… But I do… And believe me, if I could dispose of it with just a snap of my fingers, I would…"

"Ruby…" Weiss murmured again as Ruby faced away from her, walking away. The white-haired singer let out a whimper, taking a step after the roadie. Her voice was almost broken, full of guilt and regret. "Please, d-don't leave."

She couldn't lose her… Not again.

The artist stopped for a moment and her body shuddered momentarily, she watched as she lifted her head and looked back at the singer with tears in her eyes. The expression her friend wore almost broke her heart. Weiss' chest tightened as Ruby closed her eyes and drew in a deep sigh, she opened her eyes and her face was deprived of emotion. "What do you want, Weiss?" Even her voice was hollow.

Oh, what had she done?

When Weiss didn't respond, Ruby turned away again and began walking, putting distance between them. Weiss watched her back silently as heart wrenching agony settled inside of her chest, pulling her heart down forcefully. 'Ruby, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to.' She hung her head and clenched her fists. 'I'm so, so fucking sorry…'

Her head jerked up at the sound of her manager, Henry, calling for her and she calmly faced him. His face was one of pure aggravation, he was already wearing his headset and holding a clipboard in hand, Weiss let out a sigh and glanced at the time, willing away the tears in her eyes. "You idiots are onstage in fifteen minutes, hurry up!" Henry hissed at her, disappearing around the corner.

"Yeah…" Weiss whispered, burying her grief, glancing at her reflection in the mirror and taking a moment to readjust her hair and examine her general appearance. She looked alright, save for the red in her eyes. But that should clear up pretty quickly if she manages to keep her mind off of everything happening. Blake would keep her focused-

Her heart dropped.

Blake wasn't here. She was missing…

Weiss shook her head as an attempt to rid herself of the depressing thoughts. She didn't need anybody to keep her grounded, she was capable of handling it herself!

Her eyes darted to the shapes of her bandmates approaching in the mirror's reflection and she forced a smile, spinning around to look at them. "You guys ready?" She asked with a cocky voice, trying to act as though nothing had ever happened. Her voice cracked, causing Nora to frown at her in disbelief. Weiss brushed it off. "Stay focused and we'll do just fine! Come on, we need to meet up with Edan."

Pyrrha gave her a worried look, "We're doing fine, Weiss." She said, approaching her. "But what about you? It's not too late to forfeit if it's causing you-"

Weiss cut her off. "My father is out there." She said harshly, locking her blue eyes with Pyrrha's green pair. "We are not backing out last minute, our reputation depends on it."

"Is it worth risking your mental health?" Pyrrha inquired.

Her eyes drifted towards the shape of Ruby passing by near her, wearing a soft, genuine smile on her face this time. Her heart twinged at the sight of Penny following her like a lost puppy. Penny was the reason she was smiling, and Weiss was the reason she'd almost cried… Weiss didn't say a word, watching the roadie disappear into the lighting room to prepare for the band's concert.

"Eight minutes!" A man called to the back as the Blaze crew approached behind him, making their way over to Ice Flower. Weiss closed her eyes and breathed in, relaxing her nerves and shutting her emotions out again.

"If you want to forfeit, we can…" Nora whispered to Weiss. "I'm sure Edan will understand."

"I'm going to at least try," Weiss whispered back with forced confidence, reaching up to adjust the mic attached to her head, "I'll be fine… Trust me."

Edan grinned, coming to stop in front of Weiss. "Yo, Weiss!" He greeted politely, "I just wanna apologize about last night," he murmured, rubbing his neck shyly, "I didn't know you had a girlfriend, honest!" Wait, what?

Her mind flashed back to the time she'd asked Ruby to be her pretend girlfriend and her chest tightened. Surely they weren't referring to her? Blake, maybe? No, they broke up before the band was created. Nora was with Ren, and Pyrrha clearly wasn't… Pyrrha wasn't into her.

So, who could they be talking about?

"Your roadie, of course." Weiss frowned in confusion, but she felt like something had stopped inside of her. Where the hell did they get this information?!

Only then did she become aware of the roaring crowd outside, her ears drummed and pounded as her heart clenched. In just a few minutes, she would be out there with thousands upon thousands of eyes on her, watching her every move. Her father was out there… She looked towards the exit as her chest began to heave, hoping she would see her best friend making her way out to the crowd.

No, she wasn't here… She had to do this alone.

Her eyes moved to Pitch when he stepped up with a grin on his face, she swallowed hard and stiffened as an attempt to keep her posture. "I talked to her last night during rehearsal!" He explained happily, reminding Weiss that they were talking about Ruby. "She was jealous because E-Man here was flirting with you, so we came to apologize." Pitch paused, rubbing his chin. "Well, she didn't say she was your girlfriend per say… But she got really flustered when I mentioned it."

"Ruby?" Weiss asked carefully, her voice shaky. She let out a sigh when Pitch nodded. "N-no, she's not my girlfriend." The looks of bewilderment on their faces was almost laughable. "She's, she's just my... friend."

'A friend whom I've been treating like shit…'

"Oh." Pitch's smile fell and his forehead wrinkled, "Weird. Those looks she was giving ya really made me think you two were an item." Weiss shook her head. "The way you were lookin' at her didn't help at all," she looked at him again, "it was like every other minute, you'd look at her as though you needed her approval, 'er support."

She didn't remember that… "I just wanted to make sure she didn't mess anything up." Weiss muttered quietly. "That's it."

"Five minutes!" The man called again with irritation in his voice. Behind him, she could hear another guy announcing Ice Flower and the Blaze crew's appearance. "I hope you kids are ready!"

Weiss sucked in a deep breath and spun to face her bandmates. "Ironwood doubled security for us, right?" Pyrrha responded with a light 'yes'. "The bus has been secured? The technicians all in the correct places?" Nora gave her a thumbs up. "The instruments are tuned, correct?" Ren gave her a short nod. "Alright, let's-..." she trailed off, becoming increasingly aware of the squeals and screams from the crowd, the sounds reverberated in her head and her anxiety spiked.

She let out another shaky sigh and quickly jogged over to the curtain, pulling it back slightly to examine the crowd. Her heart nearly stopped. There were… so many people. So many unfamiliar faces. People were out there to watch her, to note her every move and watch for anything to bring down her band's reputation. Her father was somewhere out there, waiting to destroy her.

Desperately, she scanned the crowd from behind the curtain, searching for a familiar friendly face. Her breathing became labored each time her eyes landed on a strange person, a few of them looking rather stoic and suspicious. Her heart began racing in her chest with fear when she found the face of her father, having rented a seat far away from the crowd, but close enough to see her. His head turned towards the red curtain and Weiss jerked behind it.

'No. No... No!' She had to calm down, this concert had to be flawless. She needed to prove her father wrong, get this over with and sit down to write her next album. Henry had been barking at her ever since he became her manager to get started on her new songs, what would happen if she couldn't get them done before the due date? She'd never been this late before!

"Weiss."

She caught sight of Pyrrha approaching her, wearing her usual worried expression. "Look at you, you don't need to go out there."

No! She had to! "I'll be fine!" Weiss snapped, Pyrrha stepped back in surprise and she sighed. "I have to do this."

"Thirty seconds!"

Edan and his crew were already waiting for her, one of them seemed rather impatient. She could do this… This wasn't her first performance.

Weiss grabbed her mic from Nora and strolled out after Edan, who whipped his guitar over his shoulder and hollered out a loud 'hello, everybody' to the crowd, who roared with cheers in response. Weiss flinched subtly at the sound and approached the mic stand that Pitch had quickly brought out. She watched the man leave quietly, wondering where Ruby was at this time. "You ready?" Edan asked with an enthusiastic tone, slowly starting to strum his guitar. Weiss didn't respond and fixed her attention on the crowd, instinctively searching for her friend and swallowing her panic when she didn't see her.

Time slowed down as Edan's voice sprung out from next to her and dread rolled through her, the pounding of her heart overruled the cheering of the crowd and everything else.

There were so many people… Watching her.

Weiss' eyes frantically scanned the crowd, her breathing quickened when she realized there wasn't a familiar friendly face in sight. Nobody for her to focus on… Slowly Edan's voice faded out and all eyes turned towards her, the crowd growing bigger, she anxiously gripped the microphone stand as the entire room fell into a deafening silence.

Weiss shook her head once, snapping herself out of her thoughts. No, she couldn't lose herself. She had to stay focused and wait for her cue. Any minute now…

She felt a familiar pair of eyes on her.

Weiss' breath hitched and she slowly lifted her head, her gaze drifting towards Ruby. She was watching her, expression neutral and her eyes guarded. 'I'm sorry…'

Her eyes became unfocused as panic slowly settled in, Weiss shook her head and tried to refocus. She could hear her cue coming up… She had to do this. Her gaze locked with her father's and she froze under his hard, stern eyes.

No, she couldn't do this… It was too much…Her attention locked on the crowd before her and her heart rate picked up, her eyes widened and she stumbled away from the mic. She could feel her bandmates watching her. "Weiss?" She glanced towards Pyrrha, "You alright?" The redhead murmured in concern.

The murmurs erupting from the crowd drifted through her ears and panic rolled through her, sending fear up her spine as her world became a blur. She was panicking… No, she had to calm down. This was live! 'Run.' A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, causing her to become increasingly aware that all eyes had turned to her. Edan had stopped singing, his mouth was moving as though he was speaking to her, but she couldn't hear him.

'Run!' The voice said, this time louder. Weiss spun on one foot, shifting her weight to quickly dart away and off the stage. She stumbled as she descended, but quickly regained her footing and ran.

She knew she'd just ruined everything her band and Edan had worked for, and the guilt and shame tore at her heart. This had been their last big concert until their break, and she'd ruined it.

Her eyes briefly met with a pair of wide silver. A voice called after her and she winced, quickening her pace.

Her concert was not the only thing she'd destroyed… 'You're an asshole.' The voice murmured to her knowingly as she ran, the world around her speeding by as an unfocused blur. Where was she going? Nothing looked familiar. 'You worked your band, your friends, half to death...' She did, didn't she? 'And then you go and ruin the entire concert because of your anxiety.' The voice was right… 'You had an anxiety attack, realized what you were doing and now you're running away.' But she'd never run away before... 'You're so weak.'

"Shut up!"

She felt her feet slide across the slippery ground beneath her and her world refocused for a second before she realized she was falling. Her side collided with the hard earth and her body instantly became numb, she was aware of the nearly unintelligible noise behind her and she could hear her own, labored and uneven breathing. She closed her eyes as tears stung at them, "What've I done?"

Weiss heard a vaguely familiar voice approaching her, but she lay as still as she could and didn't react.

"Weiss?" The familiar voice whispered again, she recognized it as Ruby's. She could hear people gathering somewhere in the distance, their hushed murmurs whispering her name. "Are you okay?" Rustling came from the brunette and a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder, briefly snapping Weiss out of her trance. She lifted her head to look at the concerned roadie and her heart twisted with guilt.

Even after she'd been such an asshole towards the girl, she still cared for her? Wait, no, that was her job. She had to be friendly towards Weiss, right?

"I-I'm fine." Weiss mumbled, pushing herself to sit up on her knees, her light blue eyes meeting with a pair of worried, captivating silver. Her gaze drifted towards her approaching bandmates, noticing their concerned expressions. "I'm sorry I ruined the concert." She said softly as Pyrrha knelt down next to her. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes, remembering how hard she'd pushed all of them to make everything absolutely perfect, and all of that had gone to waste in under sixty seconds… Because of her.

"That's alright." Nora smiled as she and Ren took their spots next to Pyrrha. The redhead smirked, "We kinda saw this coming with how stressed you were." She shrugged the icy glare Weiss sent at her off, "Don't worry, Edan's not mad. He just wants to know if you're alright."

Ren nodded in agreement, "A person's mental and physical health comes first."

"And you're our friend," Pyrrha spoke up, "You come before a concert."

Out of the corner of her eye, Weiss caught a glimpse of Ruby's rising shape. She was leaving… "Stay!" Weiss barked, her arm shooting out to grab the roadie's wrist before she could get too far away. She swallowed as Ruby looked back at her, "Please…?"

The brunette stared at her for a moment in bewilderment before sinking back down to her knees across from the singer. "Okay…" Weiss felt herself smile a little bit as their eyes met again.

Pyrrha broke the momentary silence, "Should we tell Edan and his crew-"

A collateral explosion erupted around them, shaking the ground beneath them and turning the darkening sky black.

Fuck emotions, ya know?