Welcome to Lambo's Corner!
I'm posting this on my phone since my laptop is unavailable so hopefully it posts correctly. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I wasn't expecting that many on the last chapter so it was a great surprise. I also didn't notice I'd gained over a hundred favorites and follows with only four reviews to go for 100 as well. I am beyond grateful! Thank you all so much, especially those who've been with me since my very first story. You never gave up on me. Thank you!
*clears throat* Anywho, before I start crying. Lol I hope you enjoy the following. :)
Warnings: Same as always. Sorry for any mistakes.
.
.
.
Quietude: n. a state of stillness, calmness, and quiet in a person or place.
The Vongola Estate has been in a state of quietude for the past two and a half weeks. Mafiosi still moved throughout the estate but most are in a somber mood, seemingly not wanting to cause a disturbance while Vongola mourns the loss of a guardian. The only problem with that is that nobody has died. At least, not permanently.
Lambo walks down the stairs while listening out for any siblings who might be around but doesn't hear anyone. He knows Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, and Hibari had left early that morning to attend a private meeting with Don Bovino to discuss the behavioral drug and the consequences for them if it was ever recreated. They hadn't seemed too worried, though, considering any research and personnel involved in its creation had been taken care of during the theft of the only developed dosage. The meeting was more of an opportunity to scare the hell out of the Bovinos for everything that happened to Lambo.
Ever since he woke up from his coma, (more like came back from the dead) Lambo hadn't been left alone for more than five minutes. He spent the first two weeks in the infirmary under strict supervision from, well, everyone. He'd felt fine - maybe, a little tired but otherwise fine. Tsuna had been especially reluctant to leave the teen's side for any reason. If it hadn't been for the others, Lambo is sure Tsuna wouldn't have taken any showers nor gotten any sleep throughout the two weeks. That alone let the thirteen-year-old know how close they'd come to losing him and how much it had affected his family. That didn't lessen his frustrations of being held captive, though.
After the two weeks had been up, Shamal gave him the all-clear and told everyone Lambo was safe with no chance of dropping dead again. Trust the perverted doctor to put it bluntly, it made everyone flinch. One more day of that torture and Lambo would have gone crazy. Three days later and he'd finally been given a little more freedom. He could now sleep alone in his room without having someone check up on him every fifteen minutes. It was now once every hour...
Not that he would ask them to stop; he was still feeling guilty about everything so Lambo had been doing his best to do whatever his family needed from him without protest. Unfortunately, that seemed to worry his siblings because it brought back memories of when the teen had been nothing but obedient. He'd told them his obedience was of his own volition but that didn't seem to offer any relief. It was a lose-lose situation for Lambo.
He reaches the main floor with a sigh. Even though he was fine now, it didn't seem like his life in general was. He knew things had changed, nothing would be as it used to be after dealing with such a close call, but he didn't think it was a change for the better. They were Vongola: a brave and righteous-ish Famiglia. Yet, here they were, living in unnecessary fear. Lambo could see how afraid they were of losing him again and it broke his heart to know they couldn't get over it. It was his fault they were still hurting after all.
Lambo leans back against the wall at the bottom of the stairs, wondering how or even if there's anything he can do to help them. Shamal had told them Lambo was able to go back to Japan and continue with school but Tsuna had put a stop to that plan before Lambo could breathe in relief. The Tenth had sent the paperwork needed to pull Lambo out of school and assign him to be homeschooled here in Italy. The teen had wanted to disagree, he wanted to go back with Mama and his friends but hadn't dared to argue. It was his fault this was happening so he'd accept the consequences like a true Vongola. That didn't mean he liked it, though.
"Lambo, are you ok?"
He didn't realize he'd closed his eyes until he snapped them open to look at Ryohei, the man quickly making his way down the stairs to join him. Lambo holds back the frustrated sigh threatening to leave his lips, wanting nothing more than to go back in time to stop himself from ever going after the drug. "I'm fine, Ryo-nii."
Ryohei stops in front of the teen, giving him a quick but thorough once over. Once he's satisfied Lambo isn't dying, he offers his baby brother a weak smile. "Any plans for today?"
Lambo knows what Ryohei is really asking. 'Are you going to do anything dangerous like taking a walk alone in our very safe yard?'
"I just finished some studying and thought I'd take a break in the garden."
Out of all his siblings, Ryohei is the one least likely to be sympathetic to his plea. Lambo hasn't been told everything that happened while he was out of it, but from what he pieced together, Ryohei and Shamal were the only two to completely understand how impossible it is for the teen to still be here. They saw the results, they saw his heart stop. For all they know, they went mad with grief and Lambo's now a figment of their imagination. The teen shudders; that's actually what he'd heard the Sun Guardian tell Gokudera the day before. The teen will never forget how broken his big brother had sounded which only increased his guilt.
Ryohei looks up and towards the back of the estate where their huge garden is with a pensive frown. Lambo figures his brother is thinking of the best way to say no, he can't go outside. The teen can already feel tears of frustration gathering in his eyes. It wasn't fair. He may not completely understand how they feel at experiencing his loss but that wasn't his fault. Well, the whole thing was technically his fault but that didn't mean they had to keep him locked up forever.
With a sigh, Ryohei nods. "I suppose some fresh air would do you good. Sure, let's go."
It takes all his strength to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "I, uh, I meant alone, Ryo-nii,"
"Lambo-"
"It's just outside and only for a bit," The teen adds desperately. "The estate is the safest place to be and I'm sure you'll be right by the door in case I need you. Please, Ryo-nii, I need this."
The Sun Guardian must hear the distress in his voice because Ryohei's shoulders slump in defeat. "Alright, just for a few minutes then it's back to taking it easy in here. If you're not back inside after ten minutes, I'll go get you."
Lambo quickly nods, "I promise. Thank you, Ryo-nii!" He exclaims with glee as he hugs his big brother before rushing to the garden. The second he opens the glass doors leading to the back, Lambo feels like crying at the feel of the cool breeze against his face. It feels like it has been forever since he was last outside; freedom has never felt so good.
Without another thought, Lambo runs towards the center of the garden, rushing past the dozen or so rose bushes and through the flowery archways. He can hear the sound of trickling water, the droplets hitting the surface of the fountain. Lambo stops as it comes into view, his favorite scene in the entire Vongola Estate.
There, sitting in the center of the lavish garden is a huge stone water fountain; connected around the fountain is a bench to sit - made from the same stone. Inside the fountain are four stone swans spouting water from their beaks, their wings are frozen in place as if they were just about to take off. There are also two statues of kids splashing water at each other which reminds Lambo of when he was younger and going to the beach with his family.
He faintly remembers Tsuna telling him one of the previous bosses had it built but he can't remember which one. Lambo crawls onto the bench and smiles at the droplets that fall on him while he leans over to look at the water. This is his spot to relax. His safe space. He takes a deep breath and rests his head against the edge, enjoying the freedom he'd taken for granted for so long. Being so close to the water lowers the sound of the birds chirping and anything else going around him. All he can hear is the sound of running water and his worries slipping away.
Lambo stands on the bench then climbs to the edge of the fountain, being careful not to slip. He feels the water drizzle on him and he laughs, feeling like when he was six-years-old and doing this for the first time. It feels soothing. "I missed you,"
With a sigh, he turns to climb back down when he hears somebody shout his name in obvious worry. The distraction is enough for him to lose his footing, falling back and inside the water fountain. He quickly makes his way out, coughing and spitting out water - he's completely drenched and knows he'll never be allowed back outside. With a sigh Lambo makes his way back towards the estate, ready to face his brothers.
.
.
.
He hurries out of the garden, wincing at the face his brothers are making as they spot how soaked he is. In his worry, he trips over a rock and falls face-first in the pathway with a yelp.
"Lambo!"
Tears of embarrassment begin to fall, he'll never hear the end of this. He lets Tsuna and Yamamoto help him up, each asking if he's ok, why is he crying, where does it hurt, and wanting to know why he's wet. Lambo shakes his head, "It wasn't even ten minutes."
"What?" Asks Tsuna.
"Lambo, what happened?" Ryohei asks as he quickly reaches their side. He must have heard the others shouting because he looks terrified.
"I fell into the fountain," He mumbles loud enough for them to hear.
He closes his eyes as the lecture begins. Tsuna tells him about how irresponsible that was and how he should be more careful. Ryohei berates himself for letting him go by himself when the teen clearly wasn't ready. Lambo has never wanted the ground to open and swallow him up as much as he does right now. There was a time when he'd fall into the fountain and they would just laugh along with him. Now, he's sure he'll never be able to get them to laugh again.
"You know you're not fully recovered yet, you need to be more careful," Tsuna chastises.
"I'll take him to the infirmary to run a quick scan to make sure he's ok," Ryohei adds. They're talking to him as if he doesn't understand. It's not like he did it on purpose. He's fine - he's not dying. Why can't they just back off?
"I'm fine. I need a shower and some dry clothes, that's it."
"No, you're going to the infirmary and staying there until you're cleared again. Lambo, you need to be more careful."
The teen pulls away from his brothers as they reach the entrance to the estate. "I said I'm fine, I don't need the infirmary."
Tsuna narrows his eyes, "This isn't up for discussion, Lambo. You're going and that's final."
"No, I'm not. I've fallen into that fountain millions of times before and I'm still here. You know I'm ok,"
"That was before-uh, things are different now. We're just trying to look out for you-"
"Just because I almost died doesn't mean you have to treat me like a prisoner! I'm alive but you're not letting me live. I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for all the trouble and worry I caused you but you can't keep punishing me for it. Please, Tsuna-nii, you're not letting me breathe,"
Lambo notices the exact moment Tsuna loses his patience. The Tenth's shoulders tense, his hands fold into fists so tight, his knuckles go white. "You did die! You died in my arms and it was all your fault, Lambo! If you hadn't gone behind our backs none of this would have ever happened. You died but thanks to some divine intervention you came back when you shouldn't have. I don't care if this is an inconvenience but I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay alive. Even if that means locking you up in your room for the rest of your life."
Lambo is shaking and he knows it's not from the cold. He knows everything is his fault, he knows he's the reason his brothers are hurting, but he's hurting, too. "You should have let me die,"
He says it in a whisper but they hear him as if he'd shouted. His brothers recoil as if slapped, their faces changing from disbelief, to hurt, to anger in a matter of seconds. Lambo regrets the words the second they leave his mouth but he won't take them back. He's too angry to fully understand or to even care about their feelings.
"Go to the infirmary," Tsuna orders with barely-there control. Ryohei tries to grab Lambo's arm but the teen moves away with a glare.
"I told you I'm not going and you can't make me," Lambo runs inside, not bothering to take off his squishy shoes. He runs up to his room, slamming the door behind him and locking it. He knows it's pointless - his brothers can just kick it open if he refuses to cooperate but at least they know he doesn't want to see them. He can't handle their overbearing behavior. He's suffocating, he needs to get out of here.
Lambo scoffs. If he was to run away after everything that happened, he'd definitely be locked away for life. He pulls out a clean change of clothes then heads into his bathroom for a long, steamy bath. The teen is going to need all of his energy to deal with his brothers once they come looking for him. Damn, once Gokudera hears about his outburst, he's sure to get beaten to the ground. Once in the bath, Lambo cries. He really wishes he could go back in time.
.
.
.
Tsuna watches his brother run inside, almost slipping as he turns the corner to the main lobby then disappears from view. His heart is beating too fast, his head pounding from how hard he's trying not to set the garden on fire. He's mad at Lambo but he's mostly angry at himself for losing control. He shouldn't have gone off on his little brother, he shouldn't have put all the blame on the teen when he knows a lot of it is his, too.
"Tsuna?"
But damn it if he hasn't been on edge ever since finding out Lambo had been exposed to an unknown and dangerous drug. This hadn't been a matter of Lambo pulling a prank or getting hurt during a mission. No, he'd gone against them by doing it on his own without letting anyone know. Not to mention how little Tsuna knew of Lambo's mafia dealings. His little brother had his own network of underground contacts! How could he not have known that? How could none of them have known? What other secrets was his brother keeping from him? How could he trust him again?
"Tsuna, calm down,"
The Tenth feels a pair of arms helping him to the ground while he clutches onto his suit, feeling like everything is falling apart. He lost his brother, got him back by a total miracle, and is now losing him again. He's failing so much at being a big brother.
"You should have let me die,"
He did. He had died. Why couldn't Lambo understand Tsuna just wanted to keep him alive? Why did the teen not understand how painful it had been to watch him convulse in the infirmary bed before going limp. His last breath shaky and painful while his eyes glazed over.
"He's gone, Lambo's dead,"
Lambo didn't know how much Tsuna cried over his body, refusing to leave even as Mukuro swore he'd bring him back. Lambo didn't know.
"It's ok, Tsuna. Just take deep breaths, you're ok. Lambo's ok, deep breaths."
Tsuna does as he's told, his blurred vision slowly coming back into focus. What the hell had just happened? Why was his sitting on the ground?
"Was that," He takes a deep breath before exhaling. "Did I just have a panic attack?" He asks a minute later.
"Yeah, are you feeling better?" Ryohei asks from where he's kneeling in front of him, both hands on the Tenth's shoulders.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good."
"No, you're not, Tsuna,"
Tsuna turns to Yamamoto with a questioning gaze. "I am, I'm getting my breath back, I'm ok,"
"Takeshi is right, you're not ok. None of us are ok, not after what happened to Lambo."
The Tenth runs a trembling hand through his brown hair as he thinks about what his brothers are saying. Ever since they discovered everything Lambo had done, things hadn't been the same. They haven't been the same. Then, after Shamal told them the teen would be ok, they still weren't ok. It was like they were stuck in that moment where everything had gone to hell and they'd lost their youngest brother. They needed to move on from it if they were going to get back some kind of normalcy but that seemed impossible at the moment.
"I think I need some tea,"
Yamamoto goes on ahead to prepare something for them to drink while Ryohei accompanies Tsuna at a slower pace, making sure his younger brother is fine enough to walk on his own. When they reach the dining area, Yamamoto is talking with Gokudera as they heat up a pot of water for some tea. No doubt bringing the smoke bomber up to speed.
"Did Kyoya leave already?" Tsuna asks as he takes a seat with Ryohei still close by, just in case.
"Yes, Chrome will be picking him up at the airport. Juudaime, what do you need?"
A do-over, he thinks. Out loud he says, "Reassurance? I-I need reassurance. I need to know Lambo's ok, that he's really here and not going to die again."
He rests his hand over Yamamoto's when the Rain Guardian places one on his shoulder. Tsuna can feel his nerves settle, Yamamoto's calming rain doing its job.
"He is ok. Alive and well,"
"I know that. I see him and know he's fine but…" Tsuna groans into his hands. "I'm scared. I'm terrified of waking up and finding out his recovery was nothing but a dream. I don't want to wake up if that's the case,"
His voice cracks towards the end, earning a concerned look from his guardians. He knows he's one worry away from a complete breakdown but he doesn't know how to stop. His brain keeps playing the moment Lambo died on loop, he can't get those images out of his head.
"Juudaime,"
The Tenth takes a deep breath, exhaling as calmly as he can. He looks up to Gokudera with pleading eyes, begging for the help he desperately needs.
Gokudera stares back with an intensity Tsuna hasn't seen in a while. The smoke bomber's hands are clenched at his side, almost visibly shaking. "Juudaime,"
Without warning, the Storm Guardian throws himself at Tsuna's feet, head touching the floor in obvious kowtow.
"Ha-Hayato?"
"I beg your forgiveness, Juudaime."
It takes Tsuna a second to realize this is really happening. He quickly stands then lowers himself to Gokudera, placing his hands on the man's shoulders. "Hayato, stand up. What are you doing?"
"I should have paid more attention to Lambo. If I had, none of this would have happened. It's my fault he died, it's my fault you're hurting. I should have known he was up to something but I failed to see it."
"We all did. This isn't on just you, Hayato, we all failed," Yamamoto adds with a frown. He knew Gokudera was suffering as well, but he honestly had no idea it was this bad. The smoke bomber had surprisingly done a good job at hiding his anguish.
"If we all share the blame, then, why is Juudaime shouldering all of it? Why is he the one having panic attacks and suffering in silence? Please, punish me as well, Juudaime,"
Tsuna stares at his friend, wondering how he could have missed Gokudera's pain. Sure, Tsuna was hurting but so were all his other siblings. He'd been so lost in his grief, he'd ignored everybody else's while trying to hide his own.
"Hayato, I'm sorry. I've acted like I was the only one affected. We all messed up in one way or another and I think we've all wallowed enough."
The Tenth offers Gokudera a hand which the Storm Guardian accepts. They stand and face the others.
"I've been a terrible boss. Worse than that, I haven't been acting like a brother. I'm sorry," He says with a bow. He's only just bowed when Ryohei grabs him in a tight hug.
"You have nothing to apologize for, little brother. We've all been through an EXTREME ordeal but we're all still here."
"We'll be ok, right?" And there is no way anybody missed the desperation in Tsuna's voice.
"Of course, we will. But how about we take things slowly? Let's try to get past today and worry about tomorrow when it comes? In fact, Dino-san suggested we take it day by day." Yamamoto tells them with a small smile.
"Dino did?"
"Mhm, he called last night to check in on us. I'm afraid I was less than courteous. He asked that you call him once you felt better."
Tsuna nods. "I will. But first, I need to have a conversation with a certain baby brother."
He knows things are far from great but at least now he knows to try. Things won't go back to normal overnight but he'll work on it. They all will. Together.
"Want us to go with you, Juudaime?"
"No, I have some apologizing to do and he'll take me more seriously if it's just me."
"Haha, shout if you need us,"
Tsuna returns Yamamoto's smile before turning to the stairs. Things would get better. They had to. They've been living in quietude for long enough.
.
.
.
Lambo wraps his wet clothes in his (also damp) towel, knowing he needs to take it to the laundry room to wash. Of course, that means running into one of his brothers and he'd rather avoid any type of follow-up conversation, thank you very much. He settles for dumping the wet bundle into the sink, for now, before walking over to the balcony.
The teen opens the door, stepping outside in just his shorts since the weather is nice and warm. Lambo leans against the rail, staring off into the distance as he thinks back to how messed up his last few weeks have been.
He has a wonderful view of their garden, his little paradise where he can go and hide from his harsh reality when things get tough. Lambo knows he can't run to it at the moment but looking at it helps a litte. The greenery and flowers look so calm, doing their job of brightening the place without having to worry they'll mess up. Seriously, why does he mess up so much? Even when he sincerely wants to help things go wrong.
"I'm such a fuck-up," He mutters into the air. Lambo had disobeyed orders, gone behind his family's back, lied about it, gotten sick, almost-uh, he actually did die, and now he hurt his brothers all over again. In his defense, they weren't helping make things better for anyone. There was only so much silence the teen could handle and he'd reached that limit already.
He hears a knock at his door, already knowing who it is by the soft taps. "Lambo, may I come in?"
Lambo takes a seat in one of his loungers, prepared to ignore anyone that tries talking to him. Ok, so he should try to make things right but he knows they're just going to keep treating him like glass, like some ticking death bomb. He understands - kind of, but enough is enough.
The door opens but he doesn't turn around. Lambo hears the footsteps approach but he keeps his gaze towards the garden. He should apologize, now's the time to do so but his pride doesn't let him. From the corner of his eye, he can make out Tsuna taking a seat on the edge of the other lounge chair, his eyes fixed on the youngest brother.
"Lambo-"
Lambo begins to cry. He hides his face in his hands, knees tightly held against his chest. "I can't do this anymore, Tsuna-nii, I can't. I know I messed up, I know nothing I say or do will ever make things ok but I can't take the stares and-and all the questions every time I breathe. I do feel like I'm suffocating and it's terrifying because I feel like I lost my family. I don't think I'll be able to have fun with you again and I hate it."
The teen sobs as he tries to tell Tsuna how he feels. "I don't want to lose you,"
He hears movement, then Tsuna taking a seat next to his trembling body. The warm embrace is completely welcomed. "Shh, it's ok. You're not going to lose me or anyone else. I know it hasn't been easy for you and I'm sorry I didn't try making it better but I want you to understand something. We weren't trying to punish you, we just wanted to keep you safe."
Lambo sniffs, "It sure felt like a punishment,"
Tsuna smiles fondly. "I'll admit, I probably could have handled that a bit better." He turns to look at Lambo. "But I wasn't thinking straight. All I could think of was how I'd lost you and how I still could. I was terrified, Lambo."
"I'm sorry, if I could go back and do it again, I-" Lambo bites his lower lip. "I'd definitely plan it a lot better."
"Lambo," Tsuna sighs as he runs a frustrated hand down his face.
"No, listen. At first, I wanted to go back in time and not do anything but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I probably would. I may be the youngest but I'm still Vongola. If you weren't going to let me help, then, I'd still have to watch your back even if it was from the shadows. You all complain about me not being responsible but I actually am. At least, I can be when given the chance."
Tsuna looks at his little brother with a sense of pride. "And I haven't given you one, huh?"
"Oh, you've given me a lot. You just didn't know it," Lambo winces. That probably should have stayed in his head. "The point is, I don't want things to go back to normal, I want them to be better. No more being held prisoner, no more being left behind, and I want to be your brother again."
Tsuna rests his chin on Lambo's head. "You never stopped being my brother. No matter what you do, you'll always be my brother."
Lambo remembers Ryohei saying the same thing. "It doesn't feel like it. It feels like we're not a family anymore. I've always felt distanced from you guys but that-that gap just got bigger. I know I'll never be one of your guardians, not really. That's why I've done my best to help from behind the scenes whenever I visit. But even though I wasn't officially helping at least I knew I was part of the family - not so much anymore."
The youngest guardian hears his brother sigh, the arms tightening around Lambo. "I'm so sorry, Lambo. I know I've told you many times that I wanted to protect you, to keep you from being part of the mafia world but I forget, well, I try to ignore the fact you've been mafia longer than I have."
"I don't need to be protected," Lambo feels Tsuna tense. "I mean, I do need more help than the other guardians but I already know what's out there. You can't hide what I've already seen, Tsuna-nii."
"I know," Another sigh, "I think it's time I talk to the others and decide how to include you on more missions but please don't expect it all to happen right away. We'll work on letting you go back to simple, normal things first, then we'll talk about missions."
"Does that mean I can go back to school?" He asks full of hope.
Tsuna hesitates a few seconds before answering, his voice cautious. "How about a deal?"
"...I'm listening,"
"Finish the school year being home schooled here, with me. When you're not studying, you'll be training with us to make sure you're ready for when you begin helping us on missions. Then, you can go back to school next year."
Lambo bites his lower lip as he thinks about it. "Only if I'm able to join in on mission briefings. I'll just listen, I won't interrupt." He lowers his head, "I just want to feel like one of you,"
"Deal,"
"Really? You mean that, Tsuna-nii?"
Tsuna smiles even though he knows he'll still worry about what he'll be exposing Lambo to. "Yup, but if I think the mission details are too much for your ears, I have the right to ask you to skip it."
"Do I have the right to an appeal?"
Tsuna narrows his eyes and Lambo laughs nervously. "Ok, I get it. Fine, you have yourself a deal."
They sit back in the lounger, watching their garden in peaceful silence. That is, until Lambo speaks once more. "Can we have a party?"
"A party?"
"Yeah, we need to get rid of this quietude. We need loud music and food and fun! A party to celebrate our rebirth!"
Tsuna begins to laugh. It'll take a few calls but they can definitely do this. "Sure, I'll make some calls and invite our friends over. Will this weekend be ok with you?" He asks with a warm smile.
"Yes!" The teen hugs his big brother. "I missed everyone being happy,"
"Me too, little brother."
Lambo smiles, knowing things can only get better from here on out.
"By the way, when you say you've helped from behind the scenes,"
It's the teen's turn to tense. Had he said that?
"Exactly how many missions have you helped us on without us knowing?"
"Oh, uh," He laughs nervously. "I love you, Tsuna-nii,"
Tsuna scoffs. "We'll get back to that later but for now, just know that I love you, too, baby brother."
Lambo smiles. Going behind their back and dying is probably the worst thing he could have done to his Famiglia. Yet, they were not only forgiving him, but they were also allowing him to help as a guardian. Things were about to become a lot more fun for Vongola. The quietude was finally over.
.
.
.
Ta-da! I hope you enjoyed the closure to Lambo's bad day. Thank you in advance for any favorites and reviews. They're a constant reminder that I'm able to bring a little fun to others.
See you next time in Lambo's Corner! You do not want to miss it!