CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"And then, Hermione, we need to talk."

Hermione gulped, looked at Ron and then replied, "I know."

Ron looked at himself and realized he was still only wearing his normal bedtime attire – a T-shirt and some workout shorts. "Tell you what, I'm not really dressed for anything right now. Give me thirty minutes and then floo over to my place. I'll shower and get breakfast started."

"OK Ron. Thank you. I look forward to seeing you shortly."

Ron rolled out of Hermione's bed, grabbed his deluminator and as he floo'd back home gave thanks to the gods that it was Saturday. He couldn't believe what he had heard Hermione say. She admitted she was wrong. She even confessed that she was foolish and stupid. He'd never heard her say such things before. Truly it seemed she no longer looked down at him as being without ambition, but now she looked up to him and had admitted that she needed him.

In his mind Ron struggled with what now? It had been so painful to get dumped like he did. Then he remembered the intensity of his feelings when they were at Malfoy Manor. He remembered how intensely he loved Hermione then. As he searched his feelings he realized that he still loved her and his instinct to protect and care for her was still there. Why else would he have leaped to comfort her last night? His feelings were still there, just bubbling below the surface. Waking up with her in his arms this morning was a wonderful and familiar experience that he craved more of. He hoped that when Hermione came over for breakfast she'd still feel the same as when she confessed her regret at breaking up. He'd have to wait and see.

Hermione got up a few seconds after Ron left and began to get ready. At this point she didn't know what to expect. Was Ron going to tell her that last night was a "one-off" and to tell her that it would be best to remain only friends, or would he allude to maybe there might be more to them than that? She remembered telling herself she didn't have time for a relationship and now she realized there couldn't be anything less true than that. She needed to have Ron back in her life and not just as a friend. She remembered the night at Malfoy Manor and the magnitude of her feelings toward Ron and his tender care after he brought her to Shell Cottage. Back then they both knew they loved each even though it hadn't been spoken aloud.

She couldn't believe she had called out to Ron last night during her nightmare and that he had responded so quickly and so wonderfully. She marveled at the connection they still had. His deluminator brought him right to her! He must still love her! In her heart Hermione hoped that Ron would be willing to get back together in some manner, but the realist in her told her not to get her hopes up too high. It had been almost eleven months since they'd been a couple, but really it had been almost a year and a half since that the New Years Eve 1998. They really hadn't been together since then, and a lot had changed.

Pretty close to half an hour later Hermione arrived in the lounge of Vine Cottage. As she stepped out of the floo she again was struck at how clean and cozy Ron's home was. He was no longer the messy slob he had been at Hogwarts. Hermione was dressed in a nice casual blouse that Ginny had helped her pick out long ago but she had never worn and some well fitting jeans. After dusting off the soot, she made her way to where she knew Ron would be. She entered the kitchen and saw a freshly showered Ron, judging by the still-wet hair, working feverishly on the stove. She took a moment to admire his strong shoulders and fit body. Auror training had been very good for him.

Hermione coughed just a bit to get his attention and said softly, "good morning again, Ron."

Ron looked up from his cooking and said, "good morning again, Hermione, you look wonderful." He sighed and said, "I have to confess, in my dreams long ago, I always envisioned Saturday morning to be like this. Me in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of us, and you looking gorgeous."

At that point she dropped all pretenses and ran to him and wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. At first Ron didn't know what to do, but he dropped the spatula on the counter and hugged her back. Hermione looked up at him with a small smile and said, "thank you again for coming to me last night and for staying. I don't know what I would have done without you."

Ron had a faraway look in his eyes and gave Hermione a small, sad smile. After a moment he shook his head as if to clear it and continued, "I hope you like eggs benedict, they'll be ready in just a tic. Would you mind setting the table for us? Oh, and there's coffee in the pot or tea if you'd like."

With the table set and a large mug of coffee in front of her, Hermione sat as Ron served the eggs benedict along with cottage potatoes and some fresh strawberries. Hermione once again was amazed by Ron's culinary abilities. She looked at Ron and said, "I still find it wonderful that you can cook so well, Ron. I can't remember the last time I had such a marvelous breakfast."

Both she and Ron tucked in amidst a somewhat awkward silence. After a moment Ron put down his fork and looked up at her. "I have to admit I learned to cook because I wanted to cook for you, Hermione. I figured after graduating Hogwarts that you would be working at the Ministry trying to rebuild Wizarding Britain and you would need someone to take care of you, remind you to eat and to actually take breaks. I also learned all the household cleaning spells so that I could provide you a home to live in that you would actually want to live in."

Hermione looked up at Ron and started to reply, but Ron held up his hand. "I'm sorry, let's finish breakfast before we go there, ok? I shouldn't have started, and I don't want to ruin your appetite, ok? Uh, but I do want to make sure you know that I'm really glad you're here, Hermione."

"Ok, I can wait, and thanks, it's good to be here with you Ron."

They finished their breakfast and then Ron and Hermione took their freshly filled mugs of coffee and sat down next to each other on the small sofa in the lounge. Ron started, "After last night, and after being apart for almost a year, I figured we needed to talk about us, Hermione. I hope that's ok."

Hermione looked up from her coffee and nodded. "Ok."

"I thought I would start by asking again if it's true what you said as you were waking up this morning."

"It's true Ron. I meant every word. I've been hoping to talk to you for a while, and last night just confirmed some things for me. I realized shortly after breaking up with you what a mistake I'd made. I was given some bad advice and I really didn't realize what I was doing, and I'm so sorry. I'm hoping that maybe you would consider taking me back?"

Ron looked surprised and ignoring her question asked, "bad advice? What bad advice and by who?"

Hermione looked down and continued softly, "shortly after returning to Hogwarts after Christmas holidays I had my career advising time with McGonagall, and to my surprise Kingsley was there as well. Both of them told me how much potential I had and their high expectations for me and how I really could do some great things at the Ministry."

"Uh, I don't mean to interrupt, Hermione, but that doesn't sound like bad advice."

"I know, but it's what came after that really messed me up. Both Kingsley and the Professor also told me that I needed to avoid distractions if I wanted to accomplish as much as expected and to truly live up to my potential. At the time the only distraction I could think of was you. I want to change the world, to be all that was expected of me and I foolishly thought I had to remove myself from you to make that happen. I can't believe how messed up that was and I'm so sorry."

Hermione stopped and hung her head as the tears started to flow. "Turns out the distractions they were talking weren't you. They were referring to myself-absorbed campaign to free the house elves or any other crazy crusade I might start. Even Kingsley was surprised when I told him I broke up with you. I was so stupid Ron, to think that all you were was a distraction. I thought I didn't have time for a relationship but I realize I don't have a life without you. I convinced myself while away from you at Hogwarts that all those nasty things I said on the platform were true. I know now that I was so wrapped up in myself that I lost track of reality. I was in a distorted reality of my own creation."

"Somehow I forgot how much I need you and now I've lost you. I remembered how we felt about each other at the time of Malfoy Manor and I want that again. I love you, Ron. I don't know what would have happened last night if you hadn't been there for me. You've always been there for me, Ron, even when I tried to push you away."

At this point she just closed her eyes and sobbed. "I'm so sorry Ron, I'm so sorry."

Ron moved over and put his arms around her and held her as she cried. She sniffed hard as Ron wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at him and gave a watery smile. "Harry said that you told him you don't need me and that I had to find a way for you to need me, and I've been trying to figure out what to do and I haven't any idea." Hermione hung her head and started crying again.

Ron stroked her hair and said softly, "Hermione, do you know why I became an Auror?"

She struggled to compose herself wondering where this thought had come from and replied, "I always thought it was to stay with Harry, but I'm guessing that's wrong?"

Ron whispered in her ear, "That was the case back when we were in 3rd year. Afterwards, I wanted to be an Auror so that I could keep you safe, Hermione. You, Hermione, not the world, not my family, you."

"Oh."

Ron let go of Hermione and sat up straight. "And I already told you why I learned to cook and take care of a home, right?"

"You told me it was so you could take care of me while I was working."

"You know what I need Hermione? It was worst thing you took away from me that day on the platform. Can you figure out what that was?"

"I'm not sure, Ron."

"My single greatest need, Hermione, is for you to need me and to want me. I need you to need me to protect you and take care of you. I need you to think I'm important and a priority. I need for you to recognize that I'm your greatest source of support and love and encouragement and care. I need you to realize that I would do anything for you and want to do so for the rest of our lives, and I need you to want me. I need you to want me. Me. Ron Weasley. Just as I am. I need you to want me. When you dumped me you took that all away."

"Oh, Ron, I do need you. I've learned just how much I need you ever since that day I broke up with you. I realized after I left you on the train platform that I couldn't go cry on my best friend's shoulder because you were the one I just broke up with, and I had no one. And I want you Ron. I want all of you. The fact that you can take care of me is just extra. I want my best friend to be more than my best friend. I want you now and forever."

Ron looked right at her with a smile. "Well, that's good to hear. But here's the thing. After we were dumped, Lu and I felt like we didn't know how we were going to live without you and Neville. We were both in pretty sad shape. But with time and each other's help and an assist from Ginny, we both agreed that we would survive and grow strong, and that we would actually thrive. I'm positive that I'm thriving now and after my birthday I'm pretty sure that Lu is doing in the same."

Ron's voice now got softer and he reached over and took Hermione's hands. "This may be hard to hear, Hermione, but I've learned my life can have meaning even if you're not in it. I can survive without you. I am strong. I have survived."

Hermione's eyes flew open in surprise. This was not what she wanted to hear. She started to speak, but stopped when Ron put his finger to her lips.

"Just because I can survive without you doesn't mean I want to, Hermione. I for damn sure know that I want you. I want you in my life. I want to protect and take care of you. I remembered last night how I felt at Malfoy Manor. How crazy in love with you I was and how I knew I couldn't live if you had died."

Ron took her hands and leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss on her lips. "I realized last night that I still feel the same way. I tried to not love you. I tried to love Lu instead. I really did try but I just couldn't. I never stopped loving you, Hermione. Never. And I never want to stop. I'm not sure how we move on from now, but I sure want to be with you when we do."

At this point Hermione crashed her lips onto Ron's, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a heated snog. Both relished how wonderful and familiar it was to be kissing each other again like this. Purrs and hums of pleasure and contentment emanated from both their voices as they kissed as if they were long lost lovers finally finding each other again.

Ron finally broke the kiss and stood up. Hermione looked up expectantly as Ron softly said, "shall we continue this reunion in my bedroom? And afterward I can show you were your office and library will be."

Ron leaned down and picked Hermione up bridal style and carried her down the hall. He silently thanked Merlin that his room was clean as he gently laid her down and crawled after her pulling her into another passionate kiss.