Chapter 23

They sat on the floor of her bedroom for a while, talking about what all of this really meant for them.

"It's only a few weeks Jay", Hailey gently reminded him.

"I know. It just sucks", he admitted.

"I know. I don't want to go. But I have to. I got myself into this mess, and if this is what it's going to take to earn Voight's trust back then so be it", Hailey replied.

Jay nodded and picked himself off the floor. "Okay, so your flight leaves in…. he looks down to check his watch…6 hours. You need to start packing."

Hailey smirked, "I've always been more of a last minute gal anyways. Keeps things interesting."

"What are you saying?" Jay's eyebrow tilted upwards.

"I'm saying that I have some time still to be distracted", Hailey said seductively as she began peeling off some of her clothes.

"Oh", Jay nodded and chewed his bottom lip, as he helped her with the rest as she straddled his lap.

About an hour later, Hailey was back sitting on her floor folding clothes and putting them into her suitcase, only this time in Jay's maroon t shirt.

He couldn't stop looking at her, she was finally his. The fact that she looked so good in his t-shirt, the way it hung loosely off her frame, was incredibly sexy.

"What?" She looked up at him on her bed, he was sitting against her headboard, shirtless.

"You look really good in my shirt", he smiled as he watched her blush.

"Shut up", she rolled her eyes playfully. She watched as he stifled a yawn.

"Go to bed Jay. I'm going to be up for a while", she told him.

He nodded slowly, his eyes heavy. He wiggled down so that his head was on her pillow.

"You comfortable?" She asked.

"Mhmm, this is my side of the bed", he smiled with his eyes closed.

"Your side of the bed huh?" She inquired, he could hear the teasing in her voice.

"Don't act like you don't have a side in my bed either. You always go left, closest to the door. Which bothers me a little because if someone were to break in I would want to be ahead of you, but I usually sleep right anyways, so figured I'd claim it here too", he explained.

She snorted at his reasoning, so observant Jay Halstead was.

"Well if you insist. I suppose that can be your side", she got up off the floor to tuck him in. He flinched at her coming up behind him, but relaxed when he realized it was only to pull the blankets over his shoulders. She put a hand on his warm back, and kissed him on the side of the forehead. He reached up to grab her hand with his.

"Close your eyes okay", she whispered and he obliged, slipping into a deep sleep soon after.

Hailey crawled into bed about an hour later, trying hard not to wake her sleeping partner. But inevitably, Jay flinched the second the mattress dipped under Hailey's body.

She thought she heard a small gasp as if she startled him so she reached over to calm him down.

"It's just me, it's okay", she whispered as she ran her hand up and down his bicep.

"Mmm", he mumbled sleepily.

"What time is it? Do we need to go to the airport?" He suddenly asked frantically.

"It's 3 in the morning, we still have time go back to sleep", Hailey reassured him. Of all the things Jay was, she was not anticipating him being one of those people who needed to get to the airport hours and hours in advance of their flight.

"Oh. Okay", he said calmly and she could hear how tired he was in his voice.

"Hey Jay?" Hailey whispered in the dark.

"Mmm", he grumbled back.

"When you said you loved me, did you really mean it?" She asked quietly.

She heard him shift closer towards her and grabbed her hand under the covers.

"I really meant it Hails", he replied more awake this time.

"Okay, me too", she said sounding more confident this time.

"We'll figure it out when you get back", he replied, answering her unspoken question.

She squeezed his hand three times and smiled at him, they were able to faintly recognize each others faces in the darkness.

He leaned over, kissed her on the forehead and fell back asleep pretty quickly.

6 am rolled around before they knew it, Hailey woke up feeling anxious and still half asleep. This was Jay's time to shine though, he was up and dressed and had made her a coffee all while she was still trying to peel herself out of bed.

Vanessa had come home late and Hailey had texted her explaining what had happened. So before leaving for the airport she snuck into her room to see her one last time.

The two women shared a quiet moment, Vanessa dreading that Hailey was leaving, especially since she felt like it was her fault, to which the detective assured her it was not.

"I'll be back in a few weeks V, take care of the house for me. And Jay too okay?" Hailey whispered as she pulled her roommate in for a hug.

Vanessa wasn't exactly sure what that last part meant. "Jay?" She mumbled sleepily.

Hailey smiled, "He doesn't do well with change… I don't want him to spiral again."

She didn't really need to elaborate further, Vanessa understood. "Safe flight Hails", she yawned and went back to bed.

Jay threw Hailey's suitcase into the back of his truck and drove to O'Hare silently, watching her stare out the window out of the corner of his eye.

"New York is going to be great Hails. Not so great pizza, but the bagels make up for it"….he smirked as he saw her mouth curl up into a grin.

"I'll keep that in mind", she said as he pulled the truck to a stop.

They were quiet for a minute, unsure how to say good-bye to each other.

Jay got out, helped her with her bags and stood awkwardly at departures with his hands in his pockets. Before he could say anything else, Hailey wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her cheek into his chest. She wasn't usually an emotional person, but he could feel the weight of this as he hugged her back.

"I'll see you in a few weeks", he managed to get out, stroking the back of her head, pausing to smell her lavender shampoo one more time.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Only a few weeks."

He leaned down to kiss her, and she didn't pull away.

After parting ways, the smile on her face was even bigger. "You know we're going to have to tell everyone when I get back", she smirked.

"I know. But I kinda like this being a secret for now, our little secret", Jay replied back.

"Me too. Plus it will be even funnier to see their faces when we tell them we've been together for a while", she agreed and Jay laughed at that.

Hailey groaned as she checked her watch, "I really need to get going now."

Jay made his final good-byes and watched Hailey walk into the terminal before pulling away in his truck. He kept repeating to himself, "It's only a few weeks", to remind him that she wasn't leaving for good and so that his mind wouldn't play his usual tricks on him.

Hailey made it through security and sat down with a coffee as she waited to board her flight. She kept thinking about how Jay told her he loved her, how she loved him back. What did it all mean? Were they really going to do this? Maybe he was just saying that because she was leaving? Her mind was racing with all of these thoughts, and almost on cue her phone buzzed. Jay always had a way of reading her mind.

Check your left pocket, I meant every word.

Hailey smiled as she reached into her coat pocket, he must have snuck something in there.

Her heart was racing as she pulled out his dog tags and a small note. His messy handwriting always made her laugh, and his words made her blush.

I'd follow you blind, through good and bad, anywhere. And if it were up to me I'd follow you to New York. But since I can't- these kept me safe overseas, they'll keep you safe while you're away too.. Have a great time, you're going to kill it. Chicago over everything though – J

Jay Halstead always kept her on her toes.

Walking into the district without Hailey felt strange to him, but he was trying to put on a brave face. Voight answered the questions from the rest of the unit, like Jay, they were also surprised by Hailey's sudden departure.

"This is a good opportunity for her, figured she could benefit from a change of scenery for a few weeks", he elaborated without saying too much. But he looked directly at Jay when he said that, and Jay nodded, signalling that he knew and he understood.

The day went on as normal, Jay was yawning by the time 5 o'clock rolled around, he had a late night. Rojas, Kim and Kevin asked him to go to Molly's for a few drinks, and he was sure they wanted to ask what reallyhappened with Hailey. But he turned them down, saying that he needed an early night. Adam said that he had his own plans, and the unit parted ways for the day.

Jay was dead asleep when his phone started ringing off the hook around midnight. He groggily answered, "Halstead."

"Jay, need you at a crime scene. Ruzek was in a car accident tonight, chasing after someone who kidnapped a young woman", the familiar gruff voice on the other end explained.

Now he was wide awake. "Ruz okay?" Jay asked concerned.

"He is, few bumps and bruises, but he'll be alright. He can't drive right now though, so he needs a ride back to the station with you", Voight replied, adding on the location and hanging up as fast as he called.

Jay quickly pulled himself out of bed, got dressed and ran out the door. He met the team at the scene about 20 minutes later, walking up to find Ruzek still sitting in the back of the ambulance.

"You alright man?" Jay asked, putting his hand on his shoulder, giving him a once over, quickly realizing that Voight had underestimated the few cuts and bruises thing, Adam looked like shit.

"Ya I'm okay", Ruzek nodded slowly, looking a little dazed, steri strips holding a gash on his forehead together.

Jay was looking around, seeing the rest of the unit asking a few witnesses some questions and cleaning up the perimeter.

"What happened?" Jay asked, eyeing Kim, who he was surprised to see was not by Adam's side.

"Was on a date, left, saw a girl get snatched by this guy in an SUV. So I borrowed this couples car and tried to chase him down. Didn't exactly work out the way I planned", Ruzek explained.

"A date?" Jay raised an eyebrow.

"That's all you took from that man, really", he replied sarcastically, giving Jay a small laugh. Which he immediately regretted, holding the side of his temple to make the pressure go away.

"Alright, easy. Do you need a hospital?" Jay asked cautiously, knowing Adam was just like him and liked to downplay injuries.

"Maybe", he grunted before taking a deep breath to mask the pain.

Voight walked up before Jay had a chance to tell Adam they should go immediately then, him admitting that he needed to be checked out was a red flag to Jay.

He had a few words with Adam, Jay hung back and waited before whispering to Voight that he was going to take Adam to Med.

"Probably a good idea, and Jay, try to avoid a tox screen", he said quietly.

Jay nodded, knowing that Adam was not impaired even though he likely had a beer or two, but him being involved in an accident would set off the red flags and any amount in his system would not look good.

"I'll call Will, he's probably going to need some stitches on his forehead anyways", Jay replied.

The two parted ways, Jay moving back to the ambulance to walk Adam back to his truck. Adam got in gingerly, and was quiet most of the way to Med.

"Heard from Upton?" Ruzek asked innocently.

Jay's lips curled into a smile, "Ya earlier, said she had a good first day."

"That's good. FBI life huh, you better watch they don't steal another one of your girls", he chuckled.

Jay tensed up after that and had to bite his tongue before he got sassy with him.

"Sorry man I didn't mean it like that", Adam back tracked, knowing how much that hurt Jay.

Instead Jay shook it off, "It's alright. It's not a permanent thing."

"So…. You and Hailey though?" Adam treaded lightly.

There was no sense in keeping it a huge secret, and it's not like the rest of the team didn't suspect anyways. So Jay gave Adam a little bit to work with.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I don't really know what we are yet", he said intentionally vaguely.

"Other than soulmates?" Adam replied awfully quick.

Jay couldn't help but let out a big laugh. "Ya something like that."

Luckily for him, they had pulled up to the emergency department at Med by then, Will saving the day.

"Hey man", Will greeted Adam, watching him get out of Jay's truck a little woozy.

"Hey Will, thanks for doing this", Adam replied, Jay nodding in agreement and to say hello to his brother.

"I'll wait out here okay", Jay yelled to Adam and Will, knowing his aversion to hospitals so they let him be.

Adam walked back out to Jay's truck a while later, with a couple fresh stitches on his forehead and the all clear from a concussion.

"Are you lying about that part or?" Jay asked candidly, knowing how Adam's brain works, similar to his own in that sense.

"No, for real. Will wrote me a note just in case you or Voight didn't believe me", Adam grinned.

"Okay, okay. I believe you. Just let someone know if you aren't feeling well later on, for real", Jay said sternly.

"Yes sir", Adam mocked, gaining an eye roll from Jay.

"Well I take it that Kim won't be keeping an eye on you tonight, so just trying to be the responsible one here", Jay replied.

Adam's turn for an eye roll, "Ya I don't know what's going on there. Man, I love Kim, always have. Then this year happened, the baby…Things have just been complicated since then. We're trying to work through it in our own ways", he said sadly.

Not realizing he had touched that kind of nerve, Jay felt sad for his friends, and a bit guilty for bringing it up again. Breaking the silence he replied to Adam, "Something my mom used to always say is what's for you, won't go by you."

Adam looked confused in the passenger seat. "Could be the pounding headache I have right now, but not really sure how that applies to this situation."

Jay chuckled. "I think you and Kim have found each other, and no matter the past and the ups and downs that you've gone through, you guys are meant to be. It'll all work out."

"Wow, Upton's really got you on your romantic bullshit huh", Adam laughed as Jay punched his arm.

"If you tell anyone I believe in fate I'll kill you", Jay said seriously enough that Adam had to double take for a second before he realized he was joking, sort of.

"I think this conversation stays in the truck in general", Adam nodded in understanding, heading into the station with Jay, knowing they were in for a long night.

Jay kept thinking about that the rest of the night and over the next few days, the concept of fate. How things were supposed to happen, even the bad stuff. How the people you met in your life and crossed paths with was always for a purpose. So much so, that it had stirred up some negative thoughts about his past. The last few nights had been sleepless and he was really trying to keep it together long enough for the weekend so that he could catch up on some rest. He was already on his second coffee and it was only 8 am.

Platt flagged him down as he walked into the district.

"Jay, I've been holding onto mail for Upton. Not that I've snooped, but some of these look like court subpoenas, so…", Trudy informed him.

"Ahhh, okay, I'll look after these for her until she's back", he said tiredly.

"If she comes back", Trudy snorted.

That caused Jay to snap his head up, "What do you mean", he asked.

"FBI has a way of keeping people they like, pay well, you get to wear nice suits", Trudy reasoned, trying to see what buttons she could push. It was too easy.

"Well, Hailey doesn't like nice suits", Jay replied, that's all that he could think of as a reply.

"You miss her don't you?" Trudy leaned in and whispered with a grin on her face.

Jay's eyes twinkled when she said that, "Of course I miss her, she's my partner."

"Mhmm, I bet", Trudy winked and motioned for him to get upstairs to work.

He grudgingly walked up the stairs, the tiredness almost overwhelming him, putting on a brave face and smiling at his coworkers as he walked past their desks.

It had only been four days that Hailey was gone, but to Jay it felt like an eternity. They had spoken every night, but they were both busy during the day so it was hard to catch up. He missed staring across his desk and seeing her face. He was fidgety and restless and no doubt a bit irritable. He sat at his desk until lunch, staring at his computer, trying to make sense of the files in front of him. He couldn't stop thinking about what Platt had said, if she comes back. The self-doubt was creeping in, even though Hailey had reassured him on countless occasions that she was coming back.

Rojas had to shake him out of his trance as she was trying to update him on the kidnapping case.

"Halstead?!" She said with a little force.

"Huh", he finally acknowledged her.

"I said we are needed at the scene, Voight said bring your rifle", she looked at him sort of worried. He looked like a zombie.

"Right, okay", Jay said as he collected his thoughts and tried to get into his sniper head space.

Rojas sat in his truck waiting for him as he geared up. When he finally got in, she decided she was going to confront him.

"Are you okay man? For real", she asked, nervous for his response.

Sure enough, Jay was defensive. "Ya, why wouldn't I be?" He said with some attitude.

"You look like you haven't slept since Hailey left, and you've had 4 coffees. It's only noon. And you're about to go shoot a gun", the young officer replied.

Jay was surprised at her observations, he thought he was doing an okay job of keeping the lack of sleep under wraps. He had been in way worse shape than this before and still no one had noticed, it had even taken Hailey the better part of a month to finally catch on and call him out.

"I'm tired. But I'm okay, I promise", Jay smiled lightly at her, knowing she was just asking out of concern and not to be nosey.

"Alright, well let me know if you need anything", Vanessa said.

"Thanks V", Jay said quietly as they pulled up to the scene and he hopped out to do his thing.

Hailey was sitting at her new desk in New York, hopped up on adrenaline herself after just being shot at with her new partner OA. She felt her phone buzz, expecting it to be Jay. She wasn't sure if she was going to tell him about getting shot at yet, she absentmindedly ran her fingers over his thumbprint on the back of his dog tags hidden in her pocket. Keeping me safe, she thought.

She reached over and pulled out her phone, seeing a text from Vanessa.

Hi roomie. Miss you, hope things are going well in New York. Jay is like a lost puppy without you.

Hailey smirked, Miss you too, try to keep him in line for me.

She thought that was a bit random, midday for her to send that, but maybe she was just over thinking things. She had spoken with Jay last night and he seemed fine, filled her in on Adam's accident and what she had been missing in Chicago, their conversation had even taken a bit of a sexual turn.

Hailey had to drop her thoughts and rush back out into the field with OA anyways, so she didn't have much time to think about the Midwest, even though she desperately wanted to.

Jay sat at a bar table with the rest of the team later that evening. He finally agreed to go to Molly's with everyone, it was Friday after all. He didn't have an excuse not to really. He was physically there, but mentally thinking of Hailey, New York, and everything in between. She told him she was shot at today, but was fine. Saved her new partners ass. He believed her, but it bugged him that she was in danger, and there was nothing he could do about it. If anything happened to her….he was spiralling in his head he knew that. It was ridiculous, Hailey could handle her own, plus she was partnered with another Army Ranger, he would protect her. But it had only been a few days and she was already involved in a shooting. This was going to be a long few weeks. Kim saw him yawn a few times, and nudged him discreetly under the table.

"You getting sick Jay? You look beat" She asked, it was just her and Vanessa at the table. Adam and Kevin had gone up to the bar to grab another round of drinks.

"Hmm? Oh, no I'm good, just tired. Long week", he said as he took another swig.

Kim and Vanessa clearly didn't buy what he was selling, but they let it go and carried on with their night as the next round of drinks made their way to the table.

Rojas kept staring at him out of the corner of her eye. He definitely did not look great. He was overtired she could tell that much. So she decided to do something a little spontaneous, she wasn't sure how he was going to take it.

As they were all getting ready to head home, she gently put a hand on his back, feeling the tension in his muscles.

He looked at her confused.

"Do you trust me?" She asked.

He looked at her sceptically, "Yes?"

"Okay. Come home with me", she blurted out, realizing it sounded stranger out loud than in her head.

His eyes just about bulged out of his head, but before he could reply she clarified.

"You need sleep Jay. Come and sleep in Hailey's bed. I will give you all the privacy in the world. It might help", she added, not knowing much about Jay's past. But enough that she knew a lack of sleep was definitely not good for him, nor did it mean good things were happening in that head of his.

Vanessa thought he was going to immediately turn that idea down, strictly out of pride. But she saw him think about it, it gave her some hope she would win this battle.

"We don't have to tell Hailey if you don't want", she added.

Jay smiled bashfully, and hesitated.

"Okay", he quietly agreed. That surprised her.

"Okay", she smiled, regrouped and motioned for him to follow her home.

Jay wasn't at Hailey's place long before he said good night to Vanessa, went upstairs, got undressed and crawled into her bed. It felt strange in here without her.

He was out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, hoping that his mind would allow his body to get some rest. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Rojas.

He fell into a deep, comfortable sleep, the sheets smelled like Hailey, and that helped.

Until it didn't.

Vanessa woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, hearing Jay's strangled screams from across the hall, and so did the person next to her.

So who do we think is in bed with Vanessa?! Haha. Thank you for all the amazing comments and messages on this story! I love reading them. Sorry I have been bad at updating, I've been up north on a dock and in a lake for the last little while (safely quarantining with family). I hope everyone out there is doing well, I know times have been tough these last few months. Sending all of you love. Wishing all my fellow Canadians a Happy Belated Canada Day, and to my American friends- Happy Fourth! – K