"I'm going to miss you," Kazou whispers into his sister's hair. "Goodbye. I love you, Zuya."

He kisses her cheek before carefully taking a step back towards her door. And then he winces when he hears her: "Where are you going?"

"Um, nowhere."

"You just said goodbye," she says, her voice tinged by sleep. "That means you're going somewhere."

"I'm not — goodnight!" he whispers loudly before trying to run out of the room. He's about to open it when something hits the center of his thigh and one of his legs collapses underneath him. He shudders as he falls on the wooden floor. "Seriously? That's not fair."

Luckily his upper half is still working so he has the ability to turn his head and glare at his sister as she stands, dimly illuminated by her night lamp, next to him. She's holding up two fingers the same way Aunt Ty usually does and has a cheeky grin on her face. "It's so fair."

"Mom must have heard me fall down. Now we'll both get in trouble."

"Mom and Dad are being freaky. They won't care —"

"Zuya!"

She giggles before dragging his legs forwards until his back is straight against her low bed. It's not exactly a comfortable position but it's better than lying across the floor, and he still has control of his hands, at least. He reaches one out to brighten the room, forgetting for a moment that he's not bending in front of his family. In the short range his purple flame is obvious.

"Why is your fire purple?"

"Uh, fire can be a lot of colors, you know? We've only seen Dad's and his is orange and red. Maybe other people in the Fire Nation have other colors."

"It wasn't purple before. You know," she tilts herself back on her sheets, "I haven't actually seen you bend in a while."

"Where am I supposed to? I still meditate in the mornings, anyway."

"Yeah," she frowns. "What did you mean by goodbye?"

Zuya has brown hair and bright blue eyes, but besides her notable features she looks very much like Aunt Azula. Her features are sharp and heart-shaped; and the pout she's wearing right now, although innocent, looks a bit like Azula's manipulative smirk. There is no doubt at all that they're related. If Zuya's hair was worn in the same style rather than laying loose across her shoulders he could have called her the wrong name.

"Hello? Kaz?" she waves a hand in front of his face, her tone suddenly serious — as much as it can be for an ten-year-old. "What did you mean by goodbye?"

"I told you, nothing," he grumbles.

"No. Why did you say you were going to miss me?" He stays silent and she displays her fingers. "I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's wrong. Something's wrong, Kaz! And why are you so mad at Dad?"

"I'm not mad at Dad."

"No, you're mad at Dad. You won't even talk to him anymore. And now he's sad."

"Why do you care so much about —"

"Um," she leans back and looks a little astonished. "Why do I care so much about Dad? Because he's Dad? What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me!"

"You know, I'm not exactly stupid either. You came back late that day and got that awful bruise and now you won't talk to Dad and you look so sad and your fire is purple — I can tell Mom and Dad are worried too, and now you're saying goodbye? Are you leaving?"

He really, really doesn't want to lie to her, even if he should. Too much has been said by omission lately. "I . . . am. For a long time."

"What?" she lurches up and falls to the floor next to him, her hair falling in front of her face as she grasps his shoulder. "What does . . . what does that mean? You can't leave, Kaz. You're, like, fourteen. You're in school. And then there's university. Where would you go? Just — what —"

"I haven't really been going to school."

"Yes you have. You go to school every day. Wait," she reaches up and touches his forehead. "Are you sick?"

Kazou just reaches up and takes off her hand. "I'm perfectly fine. I just . . ." how does he put into words what he needs to say? "I found some people who've been helping me with my bending. And we're going to the Fire Nation."

He closes his eyes in anticipation for something — he's not quite sure what, maybe a call for his parents, maybe a slap across the face — but when he opens his eyes Zuya is staring at him mournfully. "Oh, Kaz. What . . . someone did something to your head. We should go talk to Mom and —"

"No!" He reaches up and grabs her arm as she stands, pulling her into place besides him. "Mom and Dad . . . they won't get it, Zuya. I need to leave. I can't be who I need to be here."

She crosses her hands over her chest. "But you're perfect here. You're Kaz, and you're my big brother, and you're angry and you firebend and — it's all okay here. Why would you go back to the Fire Nation? Didn't Dad leave the Fire Nation?"

"Don't you see, though? I can't be me here. I'm not like you. I have to hide my bending. I'm always about to get captured. When I go to the Fire Nation I'll be okay. And you can come too, after a while —"

He wants to play into her princess fantasies, the ones she still believes in, the stories she still asks for, but that would definitely give him away. Her lips quiver. "You're going to leave us?"

"I'm not — I'm not leaving you. I'll come back —"

"No, you were going to leave us!" she accuses, and he can't respond angrily because she's right. "You were going to leave after saying a stupid goodbye while I was stupidly asleep."

"I — I wasn't. I don't know exactly when I'm leaving. But I just wanted — I just wanted you to know that I love you."

"Well I wouldn't even know! You thought I was sleeping!"

"I —"

"You can't leave. You just can't leave like that, it doesn't make any sense. Were you just going to disappear? Think about how sad Mom and Dad would be. Think about me —"

"I —"

"You're joking, right? You've got to be joking," she looks into his eyes and when she can't see anything there but stern resolve she buries her face in her hands. "You're not leaving. It would be the stupidest thing you could ever do."

"I have to, Zuya. I love all of you but —"

"What but? There's no but! If you really hate Ba Sing Se so much I'm sure Dad would let us leave! We wouldn't be here if he didn't have a good reason for us to be here. What's so bad about the Earth Kingdom, anyway? So you can't bend —"

"— That's actually a pretty major problem —"

"You can't just leave because you're angry! That's exactly how people make the wrong decisions. Besides, I don't think you'd leave if you truly love all of us —"

"Really? You're saying I don't love you because I want to find myself?" their voices are rising, barely whispers, but when their parents are busy they never hear anything. "That's so unfair!"

"Guess what? Life's unfair! You have a . . . um, you have a duty. As a brother and a son and all of that. I don't want to never see you again!"

"You'll see me again!"

"Yeah, right. Because while joining up with a bunch of weird Fire Nation people to leave here you totally made a plan to come back."

His breathing, heavy as it is, starts to calm down a bit. "I just shouldn't have told you this. I knew you wouldn't understand!"

"Because it doesn't make any sense! Why would you want to go back to the Fire Nation? It's hurt so many people. The Blue Spirit and the princess helped people and they still got in trouble in the Fire Nation —"

"It's just a story, Zuya! It's a dumb story, like everything else Mom and Dad say, none of it is real —"

"Don't call Mom and Dad dumb! They're smarter than you. It's not like you're an adult or anything."

He can feel his legs a little bit better now, can flex his calves a bit. He moves them slowly, trying to ensure that they aren't in his sister's line of sight. He's focused and he doesn't have anything to say, but his heart pounds out of his chest when she follows up in a small little voice. "I can't let you do this. I'm sorry."

"Zuya . . ." he warns. "If you love me as much as I love you —"

"You're being so strange, Kaz. You're trying to run away and you're mad at our parents and all of that. All they've ever done is be there for us and you want to leave them? You know their parents are dead. You really want to leave the parents that you have? That's selfish —"

"It's not selfish, okay? It's better for you that your shameful firebender brother isn't here. It's better for Mom and Dad and yeah, it's a little bit better for me. You'll understand when you're older."

Suddenly her words are choking like she's switched tactics. "Please don't go, Kaz. P—please don't do this."

He shouldn't make physical contact with her because she can use that against her; her prodigal ability to mess with the human body is terrifying. But he reaches out and clasps her hand, turns it between two of us. "I'm sorry, and I love you, but I have to."

Suddenly she lurches at him and puts herself into his arms, smoothing herself to his chest. Her nightclothes are silky and cold and soft and she smells like home. He wonders if he'll miss that when he leaves, the smell of tea which follows him everywhere, the scent of things being clean. Zuya is so tiny, so young. He makes a silent promise to her: I will come back for you, and then you'll be a princess like in your story, and you'll know that I'm right. You will.

It's a deep and frightening moment and he almost loses himself in it, almost starts to doubt himself, but then he feels her left shoulder shift. He catches her arm before her fingers dig themselves into his thighs. "Kaz —"

"You need to trust me."

"I need to tell Mom and Dad so they can help you —"

He's not the best at chi-blocking, doesn't have the best form, but he redirects her arm so that she targets herself and her legs go limp. She's still in his arms so he's able to carry her and he lies her down on the bed, ignoring the way her fists try to escape his grasp. He would take out the rest of her too but he just doesn't like that idea. Mom and Dad won't hear her, anyway. Not in time. He's going to have to leave right now.

Zuya shouts as he removes her face from his tunic, and he just takes that moment to look into her eyes one more time before he covers her with her blankets and runs out of the room. Her yell makes its way into the hallway when he opens the door, and a minute later there's a shout from the room across his. "Is everyone alright?"

"Yes!"

He runs to his closet and starts pulling out a small bag. What does he need? A change of clothes, a toothbrush, the Pai Sho tile.

The air stands suspended in this moment, like the world is trying to explain the gravity of the situation to him. Zuya was right about one thing; once he leaves with Azula he doesn't have a plan to come back. But he will, when he's an actual prince, and they'll all understand. His parents won't because they'll still think they're doing what's best, but Zuya will get it. It'll all be okay. They'll love him no matter what and he's doing the best thing for him right now.

His belongings, the important ones, look meager in the bag, and as he slides it over his shoulder he runs to the living room and starts grabbing random things. There's Druk, his stuffed dragon, sitting in the corner, and there's a stack of tea coupons on the counter. A small vase, a ceramic fish that Mom loves for whatever reason. Parts of home. He needs to leave but he doesn't want to. But he does? He's never really said goodbye to anything. He wishes he could hug Zuya again and feels immeasurable guilt for leaving her like that. But his time is running out. He needs to leave.

The door sounds closed with a light crack and then he's sprinting down the street. Kaz won't look back. He won't.