Chapter 17: Ferry Boats

Meredith's Point-of-View

I knew I didn't owe him anything… I didn't really want to give him the time of day. Since I woke up that morning, I was just in an overall pissed off mood. I didn't want to be, but maybe knowing I was leaving my family was weakening the hard shell that I built around my inside emotions. Or maybe it was just about time for me to feel pissed off.

The wind tousled my hair as I sat on the ferry boat, Derek came into view carrying two cups of coffee from inside and gave me a smile as he approached me. I smiled in gratitude for the coffee.

"So, this is where you wanted to bring me?"

"If this is really what you want…I figured a little ferry boat ride for the last time." He gulped his emotion down and concentrated on his coffee before forcing a smile "Ferry boats are our thing."

"Ferry boats are your thing." I corrected him "I just married into them."

"Meredith." He said, his voice pleading and broken "Why didn't you tell me."

My eyes shot up and hardened slightly "Why didn't you tell me?"

"If you had told me…." He sighed heavily "We could've had more time."

"What." I scoffed "And mess up your sweet little relationship with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"She's your girlfriend!" I hissed "You've been fucking her for seven god damn months Derek, it's more than just sex!"

He pressed his lips together as he usually did so he didn't scream back at me. I was suddenly aware of the fact that my blood was boiling, and I was starting to see red. All the pent-up anger and rage I'd kept hidden the last seven months was starting to surface. But I didn't want to do this…not today. I had half an hour with my husband, I didn't want to spend it fighting.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"It's fine." He shrugged "I deserve every bit of it. I deserve for you to throw me overboard right here and laugh as I get chopped up by the rotors and become fish food."

"Don't say that." I gasped and reached out to place my hand over his "I'm mad and human, but I would never want you to die Derek."

"I deserve it."

"You can't do this." I shook my head softly "I know this is hard, but you've got four kids to take care of now."

He pressed his lips together again and I could only imagine what it was that he wanted to say. I closed my eyes as I lifted my face to the sun and let the warmth kiss my skin.

"Remember when I proposed to you?" He finally said.

"How could I forget?" I giggled and opened my eyes, his were far off and sad "I was horrible with boats, I got sea sick just looking at the water."

"But I loved ferry boats so much I wanted to share that love with you, I wanted to share my life with you, so I took you on your first ferry boat ride."

"I was about to get sick when you dropped to your knee in front of me, just as the sun was setting over Elliot Bay." I smiled fondly at the memory "I've never gotten seasick since, you cured me."

His eyes grew heavy and he slowly nodded "Then why can't I cure you now."

"Some things just can't be cured." I answered softly as I held my own tears at bay.

"Why did you let it go 7 months Meredith?" He asked "I betrayed you, I betrayed our vows…and you just let it happen. So please, just tell me why?"

"Because," I said as I took in a deep breath "because you proposed to me on a ferry boat, because you gave me four of the most beautiful children on earth, because in my eyes you're still the geek who tamed the party girl. And because no matter how far life throws me off course, no matter how screwed up things get, no matter how hard you fall for someone else….I don't care, because all I have ever needed was you."

He blinked away his hardened emotions and shook his head as he stood up and then extended his hand out to me. A small smile graced his lips.

"Dance with me."

"But there's no music." I frowned as I looked around the deck.

"So, dance with me anyway."

I gulped at the knot in my throat as I suddenly saw the sparkle of the boy, I first met 17 years ago in his eyes. The one who won my heart and stole it for his own; I put my hand in his and let him lead me to the middle of the deck, near the railing of the boat. He placed his arms warmly around my waist and I rested mine on his shoulders as he started to sway up back and forth.

"Meredith." He whispered against my ear "This is really happening isn't it?"

"It really is." I whispered back as I felt a warm tear trickle down my cheek.

"I just need to make one last thing clear."

"Ok."

He pulled back just enough to look me in the eye and wipe away the tears falling down my face.

"You're the only girl I have ever loved, and the only one I ever will."