Catarina was worried...worried and furious.
Alec had promised to update her on Magnus' condition in the morning. It was past noon, and she hadn't heard from him by now. Knowing that Magnus wasn't exactly an early bird, she'd given him time until now.
Catarina had tried to call Magnus many times until now but went straight to the mailbox.
Fearing the worst, she brought Madzie to a friend of hers after school and headed straight to Magnus' home afterward.
None of Magnus' previous partners had been interested in taking care of him when he wasn't feeling well. They'd backed off, telling him that he was too much for them to handle. Magnus had been left hurt so many times, even Catarina couldn't count anymore. Magnus didn't deserve any of that. He was so precious. Such a beautiful soul, despite everything that had happened to him.
Yet, Alec, from the beginning, had been different. He and Magnus had grown so close in such a short amount of time. Catarina had never seen Magnus so happy. And she knew him since the orphanage they'd both grown up in.
Alec had promised to take care of Magnus, and Catarina had believed him without a doubt. Not having heard from him since yesterday made her worry...and angry.
Parking her car in front of Magnus' apartment complex, she quickly got out of the car and locked it. Gladly, Catarina had a spare key, and she used it without reservation, for she desperately wanted to know how Magnus was doing. He might've been all alone during the night, and Catarina's stomach clenched painfully at these thoughts.
Opening the door silently, Catarina listened for a moment before she stepped inside the apartment.
No sound was to be heard.
Carefully, Catarina peeked into every room, looking out for Magnus.
And when she finally found him, Catarina felt her eyes tearing up at the sight of him.
He was peacefully asleep on the couch in his living room. And Alec was holding him, lazily drawing circles on his upper arm with his fingers. Alec apparently was awake, so Catarina decided to step closer after a moment of hesitation.
Alec bent his head a little when he heard movements behind him
only to be faced with Catarina, who was watching Magnus and him with a strange expression.
"Cat?" He asked silently, not wanting for Magnus to wake up sooner than necessary. He needed the rest.
Slowly, Catarina came closer, taking a glimpse at Magnus, who was still lying peacefully in his arms.
"You didn't text me..." Catarina began in a silent voice, but Alec cut her off quietly.
"My phone is still in the bedroom. I'm really sorry. I wanted to update you. But I didn't want to wake Magnus or leave him alone in case he would wake up," he whispered. Alec couldn't have done this to Magnus, for it was too evident that he didn't want to be left alone.
"It's okay...I just thought...oh guess what? Nevermind. I'm just glad that you're here with him." Catarina answered. And now, that she was closer, Alec could see what made her expression strange. Tears were glistening in her eyes, and it was unmistakable that she'd been in stress to say at least.
"You thought I'd left him?" Alec asked then, his voice still silent and calm. He wasn't angry, though, just curious. Magnus hadn't really talked to him about his previous partners, but Alec had some thoughts about it.
And Catarina's behavior just proved it.
"I feared it. It wouldn't suit your character, I know that. Alec, forgive me that I even dared to think that. Magnus has had partners who didn't give a shit about him. Especially Camille. And I think that I just freaked out when I didn't hear from you. Magnus is my best friend, and I care a lot about him."
"It's okay. Honestly." Alec smiled gently at Catarina. how could he be angry at her? "You're a great friend, and I'm glad that you came in to check on Magnus."
Catarina smiled in reply, taking another look at Magnus, who still was fast asleep.
"How's he doing?"
"Well, I have nothing to compare to, but I think that he will be okay," Alec mused thoughtfully. "He wasn't in good condition yesterday. This morning neither. But I think we made progress earlier," he explained silently, looking at Catarina. At least that was what he was hoping. But after his breakdown, Magnus had appeared to be more relaxed. And, most importantly, he'd asked for what he wanted. And in Alec's view, that was progress.
"I'm so glad to hear that. You can't imagine." Catarina's voice carried so much relief, it gave Alec chills. He smiled at Magnus' best friend once more.
"I can. I'm just as relieved as you are. If my assumption is right, of course," Alec added silently. Catarina nodded in understanding.
"As far as I see it, you made more progress with him than anyone before. So, I think you're right. Thank you, Alec. For taking care of him," she said with a soft smile.
"It was, and still is my pleasure. I'm glad, Magnus, let me take care of him."
"He trust's you," Catarina simply answered before adding something more. "He had a hard time trusting anyone after Camille. But you made it through his walls. And I'm so thrilled to see that. To see how far you two have come...together."
Alec smiled, hearing those words from Catarina. He knew she liked him, but what she'd told him...it was something special.
"Okay... I'm going to make lunch for you before I head home, that okay? I want to make it up to you for thinking so wrong about you." Catarina asked then, making Alec nod eagerly. He hadn't been able to have breakfast, nor a coffee earlier. Not that Alec cared about it. Magnus was more important, and Alec would gladly lay here, holding him for the rest of the day and into the night if necessary. But he couldn't deny that he was starving.
"That would be very nice, thank you."
When Magnus would wake up later, he would surely be hungry as well. They hadn't eaten since yesterday, with dinner being left half-finished in the oven.
"And I'll call Isabelle...let her know that everything's fine. She called for at least five times this morning," Catarina explained with a soft expression before she turned around to prepare lunch.
Magnus woke up to an incredible smell. Breathing in, he'd realized, besides the beautiful scent of Alec, that someone most certainly had made his favorite food.
Opening his eyes carefully, the first thing Magnus saw was Alec's clothed chest, just like when he'd fallen asleep earlier. Alec was still holding him firmly in his arms, breathing relaxed as he did so. Bending his head a little, Magnus was met with the beautiful and handsome face of his Alexander - who still was with him besides everything Magnus had said and done. To state, he was surprised was an understatement.
"Hey," Alec's gentle voice greeted him, eyes lightening up as he tenderly smiled at him.
"Hey," Magnus greeted back, realizing how dry his throat was, how hoarse his voice.
"How are you doing?" Alec asked, concern suddenly written all over his face. He cradled Magnus a little bit closer if that was possible and waited patiently for an answer. And Magnus gratefully took his time. He needed it. Lying to Alec wasn't an option. And he would stop doing this to himself as well.
"I feel...lighter?" Magnus then asked shyly. "Better," he added, sheepishly looking at Alec. He wanted to apologize once more for his behavior, but before he could bring out only one word, Alec stopped him.
"I'm glad then. Don't be sorry for anything, okay? Or ashamed. There's no reason for it," Alec stated firmly, though tenderly and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you," he added silently, squeezing Magnus lovingly.
Magnus couldn't believe how Alec was even real, what he'd done to deserve such an incredible human being. What he'd done to deserve so much love. Love Magnus had been craving for such a long time. Fresh tears stung in his still puffy eyes at the thought of how lucky he'd become.
"I love you too, Alexander. Thank you for coping with me," Magnus hoarsely whispered after they pulled apart from their kiss.
"Thank you for letting me," Alec answered honestly. "And I would do it anytime, okay? Don't forget that. As long as you let me, I'm not going anywhere," he added firmly, looking Magnus in the eyes, leaving no room for doubts or backtalk. That was a side of Alec, Magnus hadn't seen until now.
He loved it.
Alec left not a single doubt in Magnus about the previous night and the morning. He genuinely wanted to take care of Magnus.
"Okay. Though I have to confess that I might need some time to get used to it," Magnus admitted honestly, feeling so loved at this very moment that he was surprised that he could actually talk.
"Take your time. Remember when you told me to be patient and keep trying? Just do the same, okay? And I will prove to you that it's worth it," Alec said solemnly, watching Magnus with the fondest expression in his hazel eyes.
And finally, Magnus felt the sides of his lips lifting up in a smile, yet a slight, but a genuine one.
"Thank you, Alexander. Will do that, I promise," he answered, nodding a little.
"Good. That's all I'm asking for."
The way Alec looked at him, made Magnus recognize once more how far he'd come since they met. He'd changed so much, to the positive. It was delightful to see it.
"I didn't know you were so talkative," Magnus answered, squeezing Alec himself now, before pressing his lips against Alec's. "Thank you for saying the right things when I needed them most," Magnus added, honestly grateful for Alec being in his life. For being at his side.
Alec blushed a little at his words, but smiled right back at him, his handsome face lighting up Magnus' whole existence.
"It's easy with you," Alec simply answered, surprising Magnus once more.
"There are some things I want to tell you," Magnus answered. "If it's easy for you, I want it to be as easy for me. And you deserve to know."
"But only if you are ready," Alec stated. Magnus was grateful that Alec actually wanted to give him time. But Magnus knew he needed to talk about it.
As much as he hated to only think about Camille.
"I am."
"Okay. I'll listen to you. But Catarina's here, making lunch for us. Is that okay with you? Or..." Alec started, but Magnus stopped him by bringing his hand upon Alec's.
"Of course it is...did you call her?" Magnus asked curiously.
"No...no, I guess she was here to check on you and if it's legal to kill me," Alec answered, his voice carrying a little amusement with him. Magnus only raised his brow in a silent question.
"I was supposed to keep her updated on your condition. But I couldn't because I didn't want to leave you, not only for a second. And Cat decided to come over to see you with her own eyes. I'm glad she came over, though, she's a great friend," Alec answered, bringing once more fresh tears to Magnus' eyes. Alec...his Alexander...he was unique.
He was so wonderful and caring.
He didn't even mind his friends coming into their home whenever they wanted. God, how many of his partners had complained about it?
Magnus never had something like that before.
He would cherish Alec until the end of his days, that was for sure.
"Oh Alexander, you don't know what that means to me," Magnus only murmured gratefully.
"I do...because it means as much to me when you're taking care of me when I have a bad day. When you accept everything that comes with me. My siblings, for example, or their partners," Alec answered tenderly. "You did so much and made me feel better and safe. You deserve just as much as you're doing for me every single time," he added, bringing another slight, but honest smile to Magnus' face.
"Okay," he simply answered, believing every word, Alec was telling him.
Something had changed during his rest, Magnus could feel it deep inside him. If he'd thought he trusted Alec before, that was nothing compared to what he felt now.
"Let's go get some food?" Magnus asked then, realizing how hungry he was by now, as another smell of food reached his nostrils.
"Sure! I'm starving," Alec agreed eagerly. Magnus looked at him, suddenly feeling bad.
"You didn't eat anything?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Of course, Alec couldn't have eaten anything. But Magnus' brain still had to catch up with some things.
"No. As I sad, I stayed with you," Alec answered as a matter of fact, yet patiently. "That was more important to me."
"God, Alexander. I don't deserve you," Magnus answered.
"You deserve everything good in this world, Magnus. Don't argue on that, because it's true."
Alec planted another tender kiss on his lips before they slowly pulled apart. It felt strange to not be close to Alec, Magnus realized soon. And the moment Alec took his hand in his, Magnus knew that his boyfriend felt just the same. He squeezed Alec's hand tenderly before letting go of it.
"I'll go to the bathroom, meet you at the kitchen?" Magnus asked then, looking at Alec. He didn't feel embarrassed any more for last night and this morning. Alec made him feel safe and loved.
"Sure," Alec agreed, planting another kiss on Magnus' lips before both rose to their feet and left the living room together with Alec heading to the kitchen, and Magnus to the bathroom.
The moment, Magnus stepped out of the bath, he recognized his dear friend Catarina already waiting for him. Cracking a slight smile at her, he raised his brow in question.
"Magnus. Are you okay?"
Jesus, how much he loved Catarina. Thanking God once more for bringing her into his life, Magnus decided to be honest with her.
"Not quite there yet. But better than ever before after those...occasions," Magnus admitted. Though he didn't fear for Alec to leave him anymore, Camille's words still haunted him. Not as loud as last night and this morning, but yet.
"I'm so relieved to hear that, Magnus."
Obviously assuming that Magnus needed some space, though he just desperately craved for someone to hold him, Catarina took her distance. And usually, Magnus didn't ask for what he needed, simply couldn't.
Well, things were different this time.
"How about a big bear hug, Cat?" Magnus asked shyly, stepping closer to his friend. Asking for what he wanted, wasn't easy during those circumstances, but after what Alec had told him, Magnus just did it.
And felt better with every time he didn't experience rejection.
"Oh, Magnus, of course!"
Catarina was on him within a second, pulling him into a loving and long-lasting embrace. She apparently was glad that he voiced what he wanted. And Magnus hugged her back just as firmly. Thoroughly enjoying the embrace, they stood there for a while until they pulled apart again.
"I heard you were here to kill my dearest Alexander?" Magnus asked, his voice carrying a silent tease with him. He was surprised by himself at that but went straight with it. Magnus hated to feel that down...but Alec, and Cat, they made him feel so much better.
"Oh, I was furious. Alec didn't answer my calls nor replied to my texts. So yes. If he'd left you, I would be on his ass by now," Catarina answered, though smiling gently. "He's such a good guy. I'm glad you two found each other."
"Can't disagree with that," Magnus answered as they made their way to the kitchen. Alec was his personal jackpot, and if he was allowed to go that far, the love of his life.
Magnus, Alec, and Catarina enjoyed their lunch together, before Cat left, hugging both men tightly.
It was just then that Magnus took Alec's hand in his.
"Join me in the shower?" He asked, still sheepishly, but yet he met Alec's eyes.
"Yes." Alec nodded gently, squeezing Magnus' hand before they made their way into the bathroom.
"Being fully naked with me okay?" Magnus asked. Yes, they'd shared a bath here and there, but showering was something different. They would see each other. Really see each other.
"Absolutely." Seeing the truth in Alec's eyes, Magnus nodded, showing a tender and grateful smile.
"Thank you," he murmured, really appreciating what Alec was doing for him.
They undressed silently after Magnus turned on the water. After checking the temperature, Magnus stepped under the hot water stream, reaching his hand out for Alec. He took Magnus' hand and followed him suit.
"Okay?"
"Okay...you...you can look if you want," Alec admitted, his cheeks colored in an adorable shade of red.
Magnus had always made sure, on previous times, when they took a bath together, to not look at Alec past his waist until he would give his permission.
"Are you sure, Alexander?" He asked, looking at Alec, who nodded and smiled shyly.
"Yes. I mean...I wanted to say that for a while now, but somehow I was afraid. And now it just feels...right, I guess," Alec answered, making Magnus smile tenderly at his oh so precious boyfriend. So today would be the day they would share their fears. Naked and honest.
Well, Magnus couldn't think of a better way to do this.
And with that, Magnus let his eyes roam over Alec's stunning, lean and muscular body. He was built absolutely perfect in Magnus' eyes in every way possible. And that was, what Magnus would tell Alec...show him at some point when Alec was ready.
"God, Alexander. You are so goddamn beautiful. Perfect," Magnus whispered, his eyes finding Alec's once more.
Alec was looking at him, his face all red. A small smile turned his beautiful lips up, and Magnus immediately knew that he believed him.
"Thank you?" He asked more than giving a statement, making Magnus smile once more. "Uhm...Just as you," Alec added sheepishly before he stepped closer to Magnus to bring him into his arms. Magnus gladly wrapped his own arms around Alec's body.
With both feeling the intimacy this new act brought with them, neither of them said a word for a while.
It was Magnus who started to talk after another moment. His head buried against Alec's perfectly haired chest, he began to tell his story.
"I told you the story about my parents, right? Well, I started to date people really early in my life. I've had many partners, one night stands...always searching for love. No, scratch that, for being loved for who I am. And well, people started to tell me that I'm too much to handle. Too clingy. Too ephemeral, which is funny by the way, because I'm the most permanent person someone could ever meet. But well, where did I stop? Ah. Not someone to share a future with. Not loveable. But I tried again, and again, and again."
Alec's grip around Magnus' body increased. Magnus gladly leaned more into his boyfriend's touch, grateful for the hold he gave him.
"There were a few who really tried to...love me. To stay with me. But in the end, it was always the same. They left me."
Magnus stopped for a moment, thinking about what to say next before he continued.
"I met Camille about ten years ago, in the middle of my twenties. I was building my first club, the Pandemonium. You might know her, she's a model and an actress. She was supposed to be the face of the flyers for my club. Well, I fell in love with her very fast and very hard. Our relationship was quite...intense. We moved in together after a few months of dating. I thought we were on equal footing, but I was so blind, Alexander. Camille...she started with small things. Saying my make-up was a bit too much, for example. Soon, she began to complain about my jewelry, my clothes, my hair. And in the end, I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was Catarina and Ragnor, who is also a very close friend of mine, who finally opened my eyes. And the fact that I found Camille with another man. In our bed."
"Magnus." Alec's voice carried so much pain for him, making Magnus' stomach clench. He squeezed Alec tenderly.
"It's okay, darling. There's not much more to come. I wanted to throw her out of the apartment. And well, she didn't want to leave, saying she was pregnant with my child." Magnus chuckled bitterly. He'd always wanted a family.
Two children and a partner to be happy with.
A cat to make his luck perfect.
"Of course, I didn't throw her out after that. I tried to forget about everything. I did everything, Camille asked me for, and she wasn't pleased very fast. After two more months, I came home from work and found that Camille had left me. Her clothes...everything was gone. I called Ragnor, who helped me looking for her. Well...we found her soon after. In the arms of another man, laughing at me for believing in her pregnancy. I was...devastated, to say at least, Alexander. It was one of the worst times of my life. Before I could leave, Camille didn't waste on telling me what other people told me before. Things I tried to forget. To not let close to my heart. But Camille managed for me to believe in her words."
"Magnus... I'm so sorry for all of that," Alec whispered hoarsely. Magnus carefully lifted his head to look at him, surprised to see tears in his boyfriends' eyes. "You didn't deserve that," Alec added, making Magnus smile sadly at him. He lifted one hand to cup Alec's cheek.
"Thank you, darling. Camille's words yesterday...they affected me so much because the thought of being left once more...being left by you...it terrified me."
Magnus had always had a wanderer's heart. Over the years, he had adventured in so many different places, always looking for something that would fulfill his restless hunger. Magnus never realized how all the pieces could fall together, how a home could be somewhere, and someone.
He belonged with Alec.
His wandering heart finally could rest, because Alec...he just seemed to feel the same way.
"You told me that I'm not too much to handle for you, Alexander. And I'm baring the depths of my very being to you. I love you, Alexander. More than I ever loved anyone before. Because of you, I was able to let the walls down I built up so flawlessly over the last years. Now you know everything about me, every issue, every fear. There are no more secrets."
Magnus stopped talking then, looking at Alec for another moment, before he felt his boyfriend's lips on his, kissing him tenderly, yet passionately.
"I love you too, Magnus. I really do without a doubt. All these people. They were wrong. You are not too much. They just weren't right for you. You are perfect, and I will do everything to show you that. If needed every day of our life."
Magnus' eyes teared up once more for the day, as he smiled at Alec.
"I really don't know what I did to deserve you, Alexander. But thank you. Honestly. Thank you."
No one, ever, had done something like Alec had done for him in the past 24 hours. And in the weeks before.
Magnus had never felt so loved, so cared about before. And that, despite the fears, Alec was going through on his own.
Despite everything that happened to this precious man in front of him, he was able to show Magnus that.
"Same here, Magnus. I don't know what I did either. If it weren't for you...well, you know," Alec answered, the adoration clear in his hazel eyes. Magnus only nodded before he stretched a little and pecked Alec's lips in a tender kiss.
They stood like that for a while. Embracing each other, feeling the love they shared. Neither of them wanted to let go.
But at some point, when the water started to get cold, they turned it off, drying themselves off before they headed for the bedroom. It was still early, both knew it. But all Magnus and Alec wanted was to share some more closeness.
Neither of them put clothes on before they laid down under the comforter.
Magnus was back in Alec's arms within a second, placing his head, his hair still damp, on Alec's chest.
"How do you feel?" Alec asked his voice nothing more than a whisper. He held Magnus as close as possible, his hand moving up and down his back.
"Better. Loved," Magnus answered as silent as Alec. "Thank you, Alexander, for everything," he added silently, squeezing his boyfriend tenderly.
"Always, Magnus. I'm here whenever you need me."
And the last thing, Magnus remembered, before falling back to sleep a few hours later, was an honest smile crossing his lips as he felt safe, loved, and protected in Alec's arms.