(In the middle of Bum Fuck Nowhere, Presumably Oklahoma, United States, 6:37 AM)
"... Well so much for company in an empty highway." Abigail remarked.
Lobo then breaks through the windshield and begins snapping its jaws inside the car.
"ARGH! FUCK! FUCK!" Shinji's head screeched out.
"OUTSIDE! NOW!" Abigail cried out as she transmutated the car's windshield frame and hood into that of a dog cone.
She then kicks the door off of its hinges, with Monica taking Pierre and the talking heads with her. The stray Lobo then rips itself out of the contorted car and begins to give chase.
Lobo tries to pull the cone off of its neck, but the cone was tightly constricted around his neck, that it refuses to come off.
"Okay, we managed to somewhat defang Mr. Currumpaw, but it doesn't change the fact that A, he's still after us, and B, I think I've might've pissed him off more than usual." Abigail remarked as she and the rest of the passengers ran.
"Why a cone, mom!?" Monica asked. "You know that dogs hate wearing those!"
"Can't afford to damage the goods with a frag." Abigail remarked to the fishbowl around Monica's waist and the silver briefcase handcuffed around her wrist. "... That and... *sniff* that car is literally the last of its kind after I stole it from a junkyard in Arizona."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TAKE A REGULAR CAR!?" Shinji pointed out.
"I DON'T WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO CAUSING EVEN MORE CARBON EMISSION DISTRIBUTION TO THE ATMOSPHERE!" Abigail screeched out. "ALSO, FUCK THE PETROL INDUSTRY! THOSE BASTARDS ARE EVIL!"
"Says the person who ambushed me at Vietnam four years ago and beheaded me?" Kiritsugu's head pointed out.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, KERRY-CHAN-"
Abigail/Abel was then pitched up into the air by Lobo's snout, and falls towards into the open maw of the Phantasmal Lupine surrounded by an undignified cone constricted around its neck.
"... Welp, that's what I get for invoking the whole 'Moral Myopia' schtick about a minute back." Abigail grumbled to herself as she fell towards Lobo's open maw. "... Fuck you, George R.R. Martin."
The maws snap into Abigail's whole body, and upon enclosing its jaws onto Abigail's upper torso, Lobo began thrashing her around like a chew toy.
"NOW'S OUR CHANCE, RUN!" Monica cried out as she ran for it while the rest of the heads and one turtle in a structurally-reinforced fish bowl swayed and bobbed around the cyborg girl's waist.
"Wa-Wai-Wait!" Shinji cried out. "Just how is your skirt not ripping from all the weight!?"
"KEVLAR, CARBON THREADING, NAIL-GUNNED THE SKIRT INTO MY HIPS, AND A WHOLE LOT OF THE PROVERBIAL 'FUCK YOU' TO BOTH THE SCIENTIFIC AND THE MYSTIC COMMUNITIES!" Monica cried out as she opened her hip vent and pulls out an FN FAL from one of her many [Pockets].
She cocks the worn-looking battle rifle and begins firing the [Anti-Origin Rounds] that she loaded into the magazine behind herself. The anti-magic bullets graze and wound the mana-manifested specter.
"Don't mind me, keep firing-OWWWWOWOWOWOWOWWW-"
Abigail's body was then bit in two before only her lower half dropped onto the concrete freeway.
Shinji screams like a little bitch he's proven himself to be for his entire life, and Monica ditches the rifle and pulls out a Škorpion Submachine Gun ([Anti-Origin Rounds] included) and begins firing at Lobo.
"Shit shit shit shit shit shit!" Monica cursed as she continued to fire at the Heroic(?) Spirit. "Fido ain't croaking yet after a full 20-mag's worth of ground-up magi bones and composite lead! Just how much more 9x19 Parabellum Rounds do I need to pump into into its guts, assuming if it has any!?"
"Oi, I thought you were a cyborg. Aren't you suppose to know what that mutt's made of?" Shinji pointed out.
"First of all, installing a literal catscan-tech is way too cumbersome, not to mention, impractical compared to infrared software." Monica replied. "Second of all, WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU, SHITHEEL!?"
"Honestly, I'm more surprised that the fishbowl hasn't shattered yet, even with the whole structural reinforcement applied." Kiritsugu pointed out. "... But wasn't there something else that was supposed to be with you?"
Monica thinks for a few moments as she continued to run, only to realize what the ex-hitman's head meant.
"... GODDAMNIT, MOM!" Monica cursed. "THIS IS WHY THE PRESIDENT HAS THE CUFFS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S WRIST WHEN CARRYING A NUKE!"
Monica then bolts back towards the bolting Lobo.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Shinji screeched out. "YOU'RE RUNNING THE WRONG WAY!"
"IT WON'T MATTER EITHER WAY WHEN THAT THING'S MISSING!" Monica furiously retorted as she threw away her emptied Škorpion Submachine Gun. "THAT BRIEFCASE CONTAINING THE SAINT GRAPHS IS INSIDE THAT DOGGO'S GUT!"
"WHAT!?" Shinji cried out in disbelief. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? SO WHAT, YOU'RE GIVING THAT MUTT A COLONOSCOPY RIGHT NOW!?"
Monica then bears a maniacal grin.
"MOUTH-FIRST!"
Monica rips open her stomach with her bare fingers piercing through her synthetic skin and kevlar padding and pulls out an entire Barrett M82 ([Anti-Origin Rounds] included) from her stomach [Pocket].
"Normally, I would go for a Javelin, but that shit's too fast for an anti-tank rocket." Monica stated as she crouched down and aimed down her gun towards the rampaging Lobo. "That, and reloading an entire tube from the back is a pain in the ass."
"WAIT, IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO EVEN CARRY THAT AROUND!?" Shinji pointed out at the massive rifle's 50-Cal status.
"You're talking about the concept of legality when you committed to acts of domestic and sexual abuse, rape, and compliance to rape by proxy, enough to land you behind bars for several years, bypassing the Minor's Protection Law back at the East?" Monica pointed out as she concentrated the crosshairs of the scope towards Lobo's coned head. "And dude, my mom's guys found roughly 12 Terabytes of porn on your computer's hard drive when they broke into your home last night, 8 of them being that of your adoptive sister masturbating to some wank named Emiya-Senpai? But seriously though, I would be impressed that you built your own PC out of scratch to begin with if it weren't for all the borderline illegal porn installed in there."
"WHAT!?" Both Shinji and Kiritsugu cried out in unison. "HOW!? AND WHY!?"
"IT'S CALLED 'TEXTING'! ALSO, FUCK YOU!" Monica answered ambiguously. "FIRING!"
*click*
*BOOM*
The large bullet rips through the air as it emerged from its matte-black barrel, traveling towards the phantasmal lupine at blinding speeds to the human's naked eye.
The wolf tries to phase out of the bullet's path, only for the bullet to get caught in its cone, causing the bullet's trajectory to be altered towards Lobo's head. The anti-magic 50-Cal round punctures through the wolf's snout, rips through its incorporeal flesh and bone, and out the wolf's back came out the bullet, ripped through its spine.
"SHIT! NOT DEEP ENOUGH!" Monica cursed as she aimed towards the slowed Lobo.
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Shinji pointed out the double entendre. "BITE ME, YOU BIONIC BITCH!"
"LATER!"
Lobo staggers upon having the antagonist agents interfering with the servant's Saint Graph, causing its overall performance to be shot, but in order to compensate, the beast redoubled its ferocity and continues to charge towards Monica by simply dragging it's legs and stomach on the asphalt with its foremost legs.
"Ugh, Ernst Thompson Seton was right..." Monica groaned out as she aimed down sights. "... Son of a bitch is hard to put down."
*click*
*BOOM*
The round rips across the wolf's left foreleg, causing it to begin scraping against the asphalt in ever-increasing desperation, letting out a bloodcurdling snarl at the lavender-haired girl.
"... Mein Gott, just DIE ALREADY!" Monica cried out in annoyance as she fired her Barett again, the bullet digging through the servant's eye and out its shoulder blade. "FUCK! THIS! SHIT!"
She then slams the Barett M82 to the ground and opts to pull out a pair of Desert Eagles from underneath her skirt and pantyliners (One on her right 24-Karat Gold w/Tiger Stripe finish with a [虎皇]/Tiger Emperor carved onto the gun's slide, the other being Polished Chrome finish with a [神龙]/God Dragon also carved onto the slide; [Anti-Origin Rounds] included for both), cocks back both of their hammers, and begins charging towards the wary yet defiant Lobo.
"ALL ABORD THE 50 ACTION EXPRESS!" Monica screeched out as both she and Lobo charged at each other.
"GET ME OFF OF THIS CRAZY BITCH!" Shinji screeched out as Kiritsugu simply rolled his eyes in resignation.
Lobo, with its remaining legs and mustered strength, springs towards Monica with its fangs open in a spurt of defiance.
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?" Shinji plead out in pathetic desperation. "JUST SHOOT ALREADY!"
"NOT UNTIL I SEE THE WHITE OF ITS EYES-"
The girl was then found herself surrounded by Lobo's rows of sharp teeth and drooling gums.
Lobo tries to bite down on her, but its fangs couldn't even puncture through her synthetic skin.
"Ha! Joke's on you, I'm made of 75% diamond-laced carbon, and 100% structurally-reinforced by mana!" Monica taunted. "And you sir, are nothing more than made of ectoplasm and your sheer hatred against all mankind!"
She then unloads all twelve of her 50-Cal [Origin Rounds] into the servant's innards, frying it's Saint Graph and eroding its will to fight on as its strength petered down to mere embers of their former glory.
Monica pulls herself out of the servant's maw, in one of her hands being the remaining top half of Abigail, still handcuffed to the silver briefcase, all of them covered in drool and blood, and stares down at the now-paralyzed phantasmal lupine, Lobo still having it's unending inferno of hatred in its remaining eye.
"... You know, I knew full well that all the firepower in an Army's munition warehouse's worth of [Anti-Origin Rounds] ain't enough to kill ya." Monica stated as she reached for the silver briefcase. "But to be fair, the guys back at California informed me on what's going on, henceforth, why we needed this in the first place."
"What the hell is going on?" Kiritsugu asked.
"... My mom/dad stated that not only Fuyuki's now Ground Zero, but also recently/few days ago, city of Hong Kong has been... shall we say, compromised." Monica stated. "As in, about 105 out of 108 Heroic Spirits from the Water Margin are running amok throughout the whole peninsula, i.e., servants."
Both Shinji's and Kiritsugu's eyes widen upon hearing the borderline asinine news of 105 Heroic Spirits running amok in the world of the living. Over a hundred, concentrated in Hong Kong alone.
"... How!?" Shinji asked. "The old fart said that I suck at magic in general, but even I'm educated enough to know that in order to even make contact with the Throne of Heroes, you need a catalyst and an incantation in order to even have a chance to summon a servant into the world of the living! And that's only if the Holy Grail is active! Just how in the actual hell servants popping up outside of the Grail's radius!?"
"... The Sinner."
Monica looks back at the downed wolf.
"... Que?" Monica remarked. "... Who do you mean, 'The Sinner'?"
Lobo's sole eye looks towards Monica's.
"Cain..." Lobo heaved out. "... The Grand Avenger... after the seven Grand Servants were summoned all at once into the world of the living, the strain from the ritual using the corrupted Greater Grail itself... as the catalyst, resulting not only the whole planet itself to become a stand-in for the Grail with his influence alone, but also causing the conceptual boundary between the Throne of Heroes and the world of the living to be... breached."
Everyone falls silent upon hearing Lobo's testimony.
"... So what, the entire registry of the Throne of Heroes are now pouring into this world en masse like some sort of drunken frat-boys at a tailgate rave during the Super Bowl?" Monica pointed out. "... If so, thank god we're in America and not in Europe."
She can already picture in her head that the entirety of the Great Continent descending into a Second Dark Age or Hundred Years' War. With the likes of Edward, The Black Prince, Augustus Caesar, Pride of Roma, or god forbid, Egil Skalla-Grimsson, THE Juggernaut Berserker of Iceland (for the uninformed, his killing spree started at the age of seven and ended at nintey-one; Monica's started at twelve in comparison), running amok and spreading chaos throughout Europe, turning the whole landmass into a breeding grounds for the conquerors and warriors of old.
At least in the West, the only significant threat to their lives were Nikolas Tesla and his association with lightning and electricity granting him Sith Lightning (that, and if her dad/mom/Abel's words were true, became a pseudo-cyborg later in his life, that same design itself used later as the basis for her internal frames), and Thomas Edison, provided if he didn't steal the prototype Mystic Code, [Columbia] (formerly know as Project: Infinite) on his way in or out, but knowing the man (and by extent, the rumors surrounding the man's rise to fame), he'd already done so, under the pretense of 'improving it upon its original intent'. And that's not including the famous Native Americans like Geronimo and Tecumseh, but as long as they avoid Ohio (they already passed New Mexico, and no signs of Geronimo), they will not be in company of the admittedly-terrifying Heroic Spirits, potentially seeking revenge on the white men.
She herself wasn't too worried about the gunman in the slightest, since the 2nd Amendment was a thing, which allowed a common (white) citizen to carry around M16/AR15s in public, as some certain Alt-Right Militias like to attest. Hey, she was nice enough to share her quarry with the likes of Billy the Kid, Butch Cassidy, Sundance, and Calamity Jane.
... They're doing a service for her immigrant country, as ideal Americans should, and that itself is what she aspires to be.
"... If there's one silver lining... to this utter madness... is that I'm finally free from that headless asshole's presence." Lobo happily pointed out. "Your parent, Abel... is a real piece of work after he'd grafted us each other into composite Phantom Servant. All I wanted to do... was to see my home one last time... before all creation ends..."
"Wait, what do you mean, 'all creation ends'?" Shinji pointed out. "You talking about that broadcast that the mummy in nude did on that TV at the scrapyard!? He's the Grand Avenger!?"
"Somehow, the contrast between a fresh-faced psychopath and a fossilized sociopath is almost kind of poetic." Kiritsugu snarked as he rolled his eyes.
"Well, that's what we're here for." Monica remarked. "... Call it blackmail, which BTW, it kind of is, but I'd prefer it as 'working off the debt'."
"... Saving the world... as debt cleanup?" Lobo mocked. "... You truly are a parent and child... inherited that twisted logic of your parent's... and made it your own.
"... Yeah, fuck you too, pendejo."
Monica then punches in the code for the briefcase before it opens, absorbing Lobo's Saint Graph into it before shutting Lobo in along with the other captured servants. She then pulls out a hacksaw from her forearm vent and saws off Abigail's arm cuffed to the briefcase off of her elbows, right before slinging the briefcase around her back.
"C'mon." Monica remarked as she picked up her scattered guns all over the freeway before walking past the mutilated body of Abigail.
"Wait, aren't we forgetting something?" Shinji pointed out.
She then hears a hog motorbike coming her way.
"... You're right."
She then pulls out her FAL, loads in a fresh 20-round magazine, cocks the rifle, and shoots the pudgy rider and his disproportionately-sexy ho off of their ride before commandeering it for herself.
"WHAT THE SHIT!?" Shinji cried out as the hog scraped off of the road.
"Aw grow a pair." Monica replied as she put away her FAL into her body before she retrieved their new ride. "Abel's gonna be at the next gas station."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" The seaweed-head pointed out at the two people murdered over a road hog.
Monica, ignoring the head's aghast confusion, rides off into the sunrise, edging closer to their destination.
(Abel's Mindscape, Unknown Time)
"Ugh... head hurts... so much..."
Bazett tries not to wretch when a heavy wave of delirium came unto her head upon being fully-conscious for the first time in a whole week.
"My my, Miss McRemitz." A smooth male spoke out towards her. "Showing up to therapy wasted? Oh dear, we really got a lot of ground to cover."
Her vision became less blurry from the alcohol slowly fading away from her, and upon seeing clearly, she then freezes up upon seeing a familiar albino in a half-punk, half-medical attire sitting next to a plush couch, all of it completely surrounded by a vantablack void that felt like it was sucking her very soul in just by staring at it too hard.
"Now now, Miss McRemitz, there's no need for panic-"
Bazett tries to make a run for it, only to trip over something before landing on her face.
"... We can't afford to have a runner, Miss McRemitz." Abel stated as he now sat right next to her. "And please, don't damage the couch. The alpaca wool plush couch is the only one of its kind in the whole world."
She scrambles back up to her feet, finding the same velvet-red couch that she tried to run away from now behind her.
"Now..." Abel stated. "... Please. Have a seat. No one but me and you are going to listen."
"... That's the worst part, you rapist." Bazett's voice trembled out.
"Been, done, and called much worse." Abel nonchalantly remarked. "Which to your lot of magi, is not saying much, with how much disregard to human life and moral myopia is apparently a part of their culture. That, and well, I deposited roughly 600k Euro into your bank account as compensation, and gave you life insurance other than the Association gutting your cadaver bare after you croak."
Bazett flips Abel off.
"Oh come now, no need for hostilities." Abel stated. "No one is here to hurt you. Physically speaking."
"At least you're honest..." Bazett sighed out, bracing for the worst that her career as a Designator had to offer, which was running into and killing any rouge magi that's causing a ruckus in the fringes of the public eye.
And out of all the crazies that she had to deal with (below minimum wage, mind you), Abel was by far, the most insane. And the most powerful.
... And the most despicable.
"No reason to hide your disdain, Miss McRemitz." Abel stated. "After all, all of your brains are inside mine, so there's no reason to hide anything from me. This is a therapy session for you, Miss McRemitz, and despite the... admittedly drab environment, I can assure you, this is the safest environment possible to vent out all of your inner emotional and psychological turmoil, and from there, we can traverse through your mental rut... provided if you cooperate, that is."
"I get the feeling that I really don't have a choice in the matter." Bazett snarked.
"No, but we can postpone your meeting to next week." Abel pointed out. "But I'd recommend we start now then later, for time, in fact, thanks to my big bro's foul play, is of the literal essence."
Bazett lets out a tired sigh before slouching against the couch.
"... If you insist." She replied. "First, I gotta ask, why do you want to help me, and to a lesser extent, all of us? Logically speaking, you owe us nothing, and in turn, we owe you nothing, that is, unless you plan to use our imprisonment as leverage against us."
"... True, I have no reason to help. Hell, normally, I would've drugged all of you fucks ten times over before letting my guys back at Red Rum Inc. to chop you guys up into mincemeat before tossing all of you into the sea in a garbage bag." Abel pointed out. "But that's the reason why. I'm doing it because I have no reason to do so. Altruism has no interior motive, and the fact all of the magi I've had the displeasure of running into are the most damaged human beings since the insurgence of Nazi Jingoists and their future offshoots that act as my quarry/stress toys, the mere thought just letting you all fester like that... makes me think that I've been too hands off on humanity as a whole lately."
"Can you at least make your compassion sound less condescending?" Bazett begged. "I mean, you said this is my therapy, not yours."
"I'm genuine, Miss McRemitz." Abel replied. "I have all yet nil reason to help. I just simply want people to live better than they are today. That and well, just watching you live out your current life as is? Save the whole world from my big bro's foul play, I might, but the fact that one person out of many continues to suffer? Even I'm not that big of a sadist."
"So birthing yourself out of my body without my consent is considered not sadistic?" Bazett pointed out.
"Hey, not my fault that the majority of Mage's Association doesn't know what a condom is." Abel retorted. "Speaking of, when was your last unprotected sex?"
"4 years ago." Bazett answered out of reflex. "A mission in Tibet took a bad turn, nearly got killed by an avalanche, mana was running low, so we did the deed."
"Understandable." Abel remarked as he wrote on his notepad. "So tell me, Miss McRemitz. Why did you take the job as a Designator, knowing that you'd be treated as spare human parts after you croak? Or does the latter information not bother you in the slightest?"
"We magi really can't afford of complain when it comes to the means maintaining the presence of magecraft." Bazett stated. "I was better at fighting than researching, so I signed up as a Designator to keep the peace around the magi community, and I even signed up for the Fifth Grail War just to contribute to that effort."
"Surely, that can't be the only reason why you signed up for that rigged ritual." Abel pointed out.
"You're right. I just wanted to summon Cu Chulainn in person." Bazett stated. "He's practically the sole reason why I didn't kill myself out of boredom. His legend fascinated me, so when I got fight in the Grail War with not only him, but also his teacher, Scathach... occasional gripes about the whole mess going on, I was genuinely happy with my life. I felt whole. I got to touch the Ulster's Child of Light and the Queen of the Shadow Isles with my whole body."
"... Oh." Abel remarked in surprise. "So the whole thing... kinda meant a lot to you, huh?"
"You get it now?" Bazett asked.
"Yeah, maybe pulling an Alien on your body after that one-night-stand with your childhood heroes might've been a bad idea in hindsight." Abel admitted awkwardly. "Guess you weren't like those magi that I had the pleasure of feeding to their own familiars. You... can honestly qualify as a decent person. Granted, I'm not exploiting the whole 'You Are a Credit to Your Race' schtick, but as a licensed therapist, I must judge you as your own person and out of your cavalcade."
"I get the feeling that you really don't make good on that credo." Bazett pointed out.
"One time, I had to converse with a mixed-race couple, both of their respective fathers were part of the Black Panthers and the KKK respectively." Abel pointed out. "Needless to say, I had to get the cops involved when the parents go involved, the wives got shot and killed by way too many M16s, then it turned into an armed homicide case, eventually reached state court, and in the end, the couple had to divorce, but both of their fathers were arrested after the case, and hell, I managed to pull some strings and got them locked up in the same cell. Both were found dead in the showers, each with a shiv in hand, after 5 out of 25 years in detainment."
Bazett blinks for a moment upon hearing his story.
"... Well, that's enough about me. Apologizes." Abel sheepishly stated. "So, how do you perceive your job for the past couple years?"
"I dunno..." Bazett remarked. "My job as Designator is not what you can call clean. I killed a lot of people trying to hunt down the rouge magi, and no, it does not get any easier. In fact, just having to face those arseholes every month with little to no appreciation... I honestly wish I could've done something else that could've made me do some good to this world. Day by day, I told myself as long as I kept up the veil between the magi and non-magi, that I was doing that job that no one wanted in order for the greater good... Just what is my fucking life?"
Bazett buries her face in her hands.
"... Let it out, Miss McRemitz." Abel stated. "You didn't know better. It'll be better soon."
"... How?" Bazett asked.
Abel simply smiled.
"... Do you know where we're heading next?" Abel asked. "Do you know why, I teleported all of you to California, when I could've simply teleported all of you to the front porch of the Mage's Association and be done with you lot in the first place?"
"... I get the feeling that the madness isn't over yet, isn't it?" Bazett groaned. "Your brother declaring war against the whole world on public telly wasn't enough kerosene dumped into the dumpster fire of a Grail War?"
"Telly's behind the big-ass cupboard, turn to Channel 18, when the clock strikes 8, don't turn it off." Abel informed. "Hopefully, you're well-versed in either Korean, Chinese, and/or Japanese?"
Bazett nods.
"Then I trust you to pass the word along." Abel stated. "Until then, I'll see you in a week."
Before Bazett can even answer, Abel pushes her off of the couch and lets her sink into the vantablack void once more.
"Worry not about the darkness. For that is merely temporary before daylight."
(Back Inside Pierre, 7:58 AM)
Another sound of the toilet being flushed in their collective prison Reality Marble was heard in the lone hotel room.
"... I swear to God... did you really have to drink all the alcohol in the cabin last night?" Jordan groaned out in the position of the hotel's shared king-sized bed. "... Assuming the clock on the wall isn't just there to fuck with our brains? ... What? Not the first time that it happened to me. Some of those wankers were weird, even for magi standards, assuming if we had any."
"Please get your leg off of me..." Rin grumbled out as she stirred in her section of the mattress while her torso was struggling underneath the man's log-like leg. "... Just sharing the same bed with all of you assholes is enough torture as is."
"... And I need to feed senpai." Sakura groaned out while her face was buried under Jordan's trunk of an arm.
"It's official..." Luvia whined. "... If I so much as find one wrinkle or eyebag on my face... I elect that the 6.6' man to sleep on the shag carpet next the time we hit all hit the sack."
"Love you too... ya bloody muppet." Jordan grumbled out as he rolled himself off of the bed before walking towards the fridge.
He bumps into Bazett, who in turn was heading back to the now-empty liquor cabinet.
"... If you must know where the booze are, its in your system and you wretched it into the honeybucket a minute back." Jordan pointed out as he reached for a can of Red Bull. "Want a Red Bull? Apparently, the Yanks love em for some reason."
He then opens it before swigging the can before hacking it out.
"... Yep, the yankees still have shite taste." Jordan gagged out. "Almost makes me think that dealing with a hangover is more preferable in comparison."
Bazett then looks back at the clock attached to the wall, reading 7:59 AM. She then feels against the board behind the empty cover, before knocking on it, before it came ajar.
She the knocks on it again, knocking it over to find a television.
"... Oh bollocks, he wasn't kidding." Bazett remarked.
She then reached towards the hidden TV, and pressed the power button.
The TV screen flashes to life, with an American news station being shown on it.
"Would you keep it down..." Luvia groaned out as she pulled the bedsheets over her head. "... A lady needs her beauty sleep."
"Says the trashy whore..." Rin half-mumbled out as she also pulled the bedsheets towards herself, resulting in the two of the ladies competing in an impromptu-tug-of-war over the bedsheet.
Bazett then recalls Abel's words to turn to Channel 18. Upon recalling those words, she then begins to switch the channel analog button, shifting from Channel 5...
Then 7...
Then 11...
Then 13...
And finally, Channel 18. An Asian-American channel going by LA 18.
"... Wait, isn't LA at West Coast?" Bazett thought. "How in the actual Hell are we picking up West Coast broadcasting from god knows where?
Regardless where the broadcast was coming from, Bazett peered closer at the TV.
"(This just in, we now report of several sightings of what it appears to be one of the ancient Chinese warriors roaming the streets of Hong Kong)." The female reporter spoke in Korean, of which Bazett can roughly translate most of the words. "(The last sightings of one of these figures occurred this Wednesday, around 1:32 AM, showing a large male figure with two tied-up buns on his hair, holding onto two axes roaming the streets in a drunken sway. Authorities suspect this figure to be the culprit behind two homicides of a wanted triad member 'Viper' Lau Gu Son and suspected con artist 'Rat' Wei Tao Gun, both found with several gash wounds on their bodies just the day before this capture of the-)"
Bazett gulps upon seeing the image of the aforementioned Chinese warrior caught on camera.
The armor on the man himself looked natural, not forced, so it couldn't be some cosplaying-hack/themed serial killer-vigilante wandering around the streets of Hong Kong slashing up unsuspecting criminals, not to mention, the reporter stated that there were several sightings, with the axe man being only being implied to be just one of them, with many more running out and about.
"Just what the bloody hell's going on outside?" Bazett remarked to herself in disbelief. "Surely, it's not like servants are running amok in the world of the living, right?"
Before she can process her thoughts, she then hears the eggs frying on the pan warmed by the stove, and a loud yelp from underneath the bed, cutting off her train of possible deep thought.
"... In hindsight, the booze wasn't going to be any help at all." Bazett grumbled to herself before she turned the TV off and closed the cabinet as everyone else woke up, with Taiga crawling out from underneath the bed. As for the albino woman and her neutered parasitic guest, she honestly couldn't care less for the fact that they were sleeping in the empty tub in the bathroom.
Although she must ask, which Chinese warrior was famous for wielding two axes?
... A certain Black Whirlwind from a certain Water Margin? She herself wasn't so sure, with what her only reading one volume.
"Okay, who pushed me off of the bed?" Taiga asked out loud as she crawled out from underneath.
(Run-Down Gas Station, Oklahoma, United States, 10:57 PM)
"Thanks for the food." Monica spoke to the attendant squirming on the floor, hands, feet, and mouth bound up by duct tape, rope, and a cold glass beer bottle.
Monica exits the door, plastic bag full of chips and Capri-Sun juice pouches, currently slurping on a blue slurpy while walking towards her commandeered (read: NOT STOLEN) road hog chopper currently being filled up by a lanky man with pale-peach skin in blue-jean overalls and a red and white baseball cap with a red velociraptor wearing a basketball jersey grasping onto a basketball in its claws.
"... Dad, you know that the Raptors don't play in Midwest, right?"
"Ah shit, you noticed?" The man groaned out.
The man's lanky body suddenly then begins to shift and contort into a more well-built and taller man with paler skin bordering peach-white, the pupils turning from brown to blood red, and the man's brown hair turning snow-white.
In place of the gas station attendant was now Abel, possessing the poor man's body, devouring his soul, and reforming the body into his very own.
"You can at least ditch the cap and go for something more nondescriptly designed." Monica remarked. "At least that way, we won't have to kill any lawyers for copyright infringement."
"Aw come on." The now-albino man Abel remarked. "Can't you let a guy wear is friend's baseball cap? Sonofabitch was a co-worker of mine back at the docks that died from a car accident back at 98'."
"Alright, alright, just get out of that grease monkey suit. You look like ass wearing blue jeans in it." Monica replied as she took out a leather briefcase from her back vent before handing it to the albino man in overalls.
Abel then enters the convenience store, walking over the mumbling man bound and squirming on the floor.
"Ugh, gas station restrooms are the pits..." Abel groaned out in disgust as he entered into the sole stall behind the coolers.
He then opens the suitcase, revealing a red hoodie, a white tank top, a pair of blue jeans, a pair of white socks, a pair of black Vans-brand sneakers, and a single clay-like block of Semtex wrapped in plastic, with a sticky-note with the following note:
"Some a-hole tried to sneak this by airport security. Nabbed it right under his nose when he was asleep on the plane beelining towards England." Abel read the note. "From Anita... huh, so she's still working even after that incident?"
As Abel puts his clothes on while ditching the former body's own shaggy overalls (the Raptors cap, however, stayed), and upon finishing changing into his fresh clothes, he then unwraps the block of Semtex in his hands.
"... Hmm, hopefully that schmuck ain't gonna be too broken up if I played with his toy for a bit." Abel mused right before he stuck the block onto the restroom door. "Not like it'll matter, it's not like he's around to see it."
As he exited the stall, Abel projects a FN Five-seveN Pistol in his hands, before pointing it over the squirming man.
"So, old man..." Abel remarked as he sat up on the register stall. "... No hard feelings or anything, but we're kind of on a run, and the guys after us are not the kind of people who're decent enough to grant anyone a quick death."
He then points the pistol towards the sole propane tank sitting by the steel stall all by its lonesome collecting dust.
"... With that said, if you have any complaints, feel free to take it up to the man upstairs." Abel stated to the now-panicking attendant. "But spoilers: I won't be listening."
*click*
*BANG*
*KABOOM*
The combined explosion from the tank and the Semtex sends Abel flying out of the window behind the counter that Abel was sitting on, as the whole store went up into flames.
"Ooohohoho..." Abel groaned out as he rolled himself back up to his feet before scrambling his gun back into his possession. "... IN MY DEFENSE, THE SEMTEX WASN'T MY IDEA!"
"We're not judging you, Abel." Kiritsugu dryly remarked. "We're already way past that point."
"The whole damn road trip so far was one bad budget-action flick!" Shinji screeched out in a complaining tone. "You make Michael Bay look like a filmography genius compared to this stupid rendition of 'Around the World in 80 Days'!"
"... Wait, you seen his movies?" Abel pointed out in confusion. "... Wait, you actually read that book-"
"Dad, we gotta go!" Monica pointed out as she revved up her chopper bike. "The cops are gonna be on our asses at any moment!"
"Comin'!"
Abel then hops behind the chopper seat, and rode away from the burning gas station, which then explodes once more upon the fuel tanks catching fire.
"... So wait, why did you blow up the gas station?" Shinji asked. "I mean, why didn't you just kill the guy and be done with it?"
"Can't afford them to discover a body." Abel remarked. "That, and the store didn't have a shovel to dig and bury the body with with."
"Sure, and no one will notice a burnt-down gas station." Kiritsugu sarcastically pointed out.
"Says the person who shot down a passenger plane with a Stinger in a middle of the Indian Ocean." Abel retorted. "... What? I was on it, dude. Although I kinda killed the guy who released the swarm of mosquitos with the Dead Apostle cells a bit too late, so... yeah. Sorry it had to come to that point. On the plus side though, I found a rumored Nazi sub at the bottom of the ocean's surface."
Kiritsugu's eyes widen upon hearing Abel's testimony, connecting the dots of what Abel just said.
"... You WHAT!?" Kiritsugu cried out. "YOU WERE ON THAT SAME PLANE!? THAT'S WHY YOU AMBUSHED ME IN VIETNAM 4 YEARS AGO!?"
"What can I say?" Abel shrugged. "I like em served ice cold."
In grim silence, the four (the two talking heads plus one turtle) ride away from the continuously-exploding gas station.
"... So why was there a Nazi U-Boat underneath the Indian Ocean?" Shinji asked.
No one answers.
(Abel's Mindscape, Unknown Time)
"... Hmm, the reception isn't the worst I've seen."
The once-prestigious, now-disinherited heir to the Edelfelt House, Luviagelita Edelfelt finds herself wandering around the vantablack void.
"Ugh, too much black here." Luvia groaned out as she massaged her temples. "The fact that I can still perfectly see myself in color while swimming in this drab void is making my eyes hurt. If I don't see any color other than the ones on my clothes in the next minute, I'm going to rip my own eyes out like Oedipus."
"Ohoho! Baby, I'd love to see that for a dollar!"
Luvia then turns around, finding the albino man that has imprisoned her alongside with the other survivors of the Grail War gone wrong, in a white lab coat sitting on a stool, with a velvet red couch next to him.
"You demand color other than blue, so I opted red." Abel stated with a smile. "Please, Miss Edelfelt, have a seat-"
The young woman then charges towards him screaming in rage, before springing off of her feet and performing a dropkick aimed towards Abel.
Abel simply tilts his head away from the trajectory, and Luvia expected to land hard on the void below...
... Only to land right into the extremely-soft couch, with Abel now sitting besides her.
"Ah, eager to get started." Abel remarked. "Very well, best not to keep you waiting."
He then begins to tap on his clipboard with his pen.
"Firstly, will you please sign your name on this consent form?" Abel requested as he handed her the clipboard and pen to Luvia. "I need legal verification if I'm going to pry into a brain of a minor."
"SO TAKING MY FAMILY'S PROPERTY WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT WAS OKAY!?" Luvia snapped at Abel as she slapped away the board and pen from her.
"... In their defense, they were exempt from the minor protection laws, so yeah, free rein." Abel sheepishly replied as the void itself handed the clipboard and pen back to Abel. "That, and it was one my guys stationed there that did the deed, so... you know what, I'll give you one free suplex after the session is over."
This monster sitting next to her. In all possible standards of audacity, from stealing her family's legacy and home, send her the eviction notice from her own lands, and now he's apologizing after everything, with his sincerity coming as ham-fisted and ingenue in the not-so-innocent kind.
... In fact, Abel himself merely resembled a human, almost like a homunculus, right down to their signature albino appearance, except his eyes were that of something beyond anything that any magi could even comprehend.
Something beyond the mysteries of the First Magic itself. Something beyond any feasible sanity.
"Is something the matter?" Abel asked.
"No..." Luvia replied. "... Just contemplating on how in the actual hell you passed yourself as a human in the first place."
"Well, for one, I identify myself as such, regenerative abilities and Root-connected immortality aside." Abel remarked. "You magi really can be so judgmental at times, you know that?"
"Wait, did you just say Root-connected immortality?" Luvia abruptly pointed out.
Abel's jaw goes agape for a moment before recomposing himself.
"... Ah... might've said too much, didn't I?" Abel sheepishly smiled.
"Define 'too much', you abomination." Luvia asked.
"Well..." Abel remarked. "I would, but this is about you, Miss Edelfelt. Just to get you cooperate, I'll also add one fact about myself on top of the free suplex. Sound good?"
"... Hmph, if you insist." Luvia pouted. "But let it be clear that you're the one responsible for my current plights."
"I won't lie, you're correct on that assessment." Abel remarked. "So, Miss Edelfelt, can you describe the past ten years of your life? Need to know where you're coming from before we tackle unto your problems."
"Don't you already know by now?" Luvia pointed out.
"True. From cradle to grave." Abel replied. "But I want you to say it."
Luvia grits her teeth in frustration before answering.
"... What's stopping me from invoking my right to remain silent?" Luvia pointed out.
"Well, for one, you won't be able to wake up if you don't cooperate, in which case, you might state that you can simply wait until the whole trip is over, I have to ask, can you trust me that I don't put your brain in a jar after waiting too long?" Abel pointed out. "I'm sure that you can trust a bunch of strangers that tried to kill you a week prior with your well-being."
Luvia's eyes widen upon hearing those words.
"... In hindsight, you and the rest of you schmucks inside my consciousness are in no position to make any demands." Abel bluntly pointed out. "Moral of the story, don't fuck with me."
Luvia slumps deeper into the extremely-soft couch upon hearing Abel's claims.
"... Ahem, so now with that said, will you share what happened in your life, for the past ten years?" Abel asked politely.
Luvia lets out a small grumble before relenting.
"... Fine, but only because you won't let me out otherwise." The Edelfelt grumbled out. "I was born into the prestigious Edelfelt family, raised to establish my family's name as above all the magi houses, and like all other magi, seek out and reach for the Root in order to reinstate the Age of the Gods, so that the world's mana is not rendered obsolete, and hopefully, make sure that the legacy of us magi survive for the coming generation after generation."
"Hmm, so a group effort, perchance?" Abel pointed out as he jotted down the notes. "But the way you mentioned your family being prestigious and 'rising above all other magi houses'... I take it that the environment, one that supports a goal of creating another world for the magi, but at the same time, making it a race for it, something tells me that you're held in... shall we say, high regard, put upon a pedestal, but also envied and hated by many. A typical story of a person surpassing her peers, one of nobility and honor... but I take it that there's more to it-"
Luvia then snaps as she knocks off the clipboard off of Abel's hands in rage.
"THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT!?" Luvia screeched out as she wrangled Abel by his shirt's collar. "IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S AT STAKE, THEN WHY!?"
Abel simply smiles.
"Lady, not all journeys have a happy ending."
Abel then thrusts his hands towards Luvia, lifting her up by the neck.
"So what if the Root is rediscovered?" Abel pointed out. "What if all the magic in the world comes back? Let me let you in on something; it changes jack, shit."
Abel then tosses the young lady back down onto the couch, Luvia letting out a coughing fit after being let go.
"So let me get this straight." Abel remarked as he picked his clipboard and pen back up from the vantablack floor. "If I'm assessing what I've heard from what I've heard from you, the goal of the magi is to rediscover the Root at all cost, by any cost, and I'm assuming that the whole Grail War BS exists for that purpose?"
"... Well aren't you a quick study for a loon." Luvia heaved out from her strained neck.
"Do you know how many people died, without fulfilling that so-called purpose?" Abel remarked. "The number of people willing to die for such asinine cause? I can count with one hand. One."
"We of the magi cannot afford to be bleeding hearts like you." Luvia objected. "To live is to inevitably die, and as long as we can wipe away the pain, then we can establish a mutual buffer between magi and human."
"Define mutual, Edelfelt." Abel retorted. "And doesn't mean 'ignorance'."
"So as long as they live out their lives painlessly, then it shouldn't matter." Luvia replied.
"Then why did you lash out when I disgraced your entire family?"
Luvia's mind freezes upon those words.
"... The problem with you magi? You tend to forget that you're just as human as the muggles who live out their lives." Abel pointed out. "Now, I could've gone and flat-out iced your mum and dad, but unlike you and rest of your race, I'm humane. I don't take lives as collateral. I at least take lives as direct consequence. When I kill someone, I meant it to happen. The gas station attendant that I blew up in his own shop? Ex-KKK mook that lynched my friend back at 1959. I took his pasty-ass brat, made arrangements to have his Type-O blood transfusion with my own blood, and at my moment's notice, I took over his body, and leave it in minor likeliness of his son, just to rub it in that the 68-year old white man got what he deserved. A genuine retired asshole that I took great pleasure in slaughtering, making him fear for his life at the very twilight of his post-mortem. The definition of being served cold."
Luvia's jaw opens agape upon hearing Abel's testimony on what happened outside.
"Just how is that supposed to make things better?" Luvia asked. "At least we magi don't put people in harm's way! At least, not deliberately!"
"Tell that to the asshole at the bottom of the Indian Ocean who released a swarm of Dead Apostle mosquito familiars on a passenger plane." Abel stated. "I knew I should've taken my time with the prick, but really, that didn't matter as soon as the whole plane went up into flames."
Luvia's sense of shock just kept increasing at a steady rate at the madman's drivels. The way he articulated his logic that seemed to only attempt to deconstruct the magi culture, only to instead just tell her what she already knows.
... She's not so naive to believe that not all magi were saints. If anything, she herself was rather unscrupulous at times, but that was only for the sake of pragmatism in order to keep up the veil between magi and humanity.
Abel on the other hand? He's simply plays judge, jury, and executioner to those he deems as "guilty", not unlike the infamous Magus Killer himself.
"Point is, Miss Edelfelt?" Abel pointed out. "If you're going to bitch about losing your 670-Billion Euro estate to me, at least do that after you get an apartment, or hell, at least a part-time job. Granted, America's economy is and has always been utter shit since post-Vietnam War, but Europe is fine in comparison. At least they have safety nets."
Luvia was now out of words to even speak to this loon sitting besides her. Talking about one thing before slightly trailing off to another like if he's in a social commentary discussion board.
... She went to an internet cafe that she owned (along with the rest of her mall at Germany), one time.
"... Thank you for sticking by me as long as should." Abel remarked as he relaxed his tone of speech. "Now, I'll let you off with one thing about me..."
She then felt his lips edge closer to her left earlobe.
"... The Root is closer than you think."
Luvia's eyes widen as her brain automatically began to connect the dots of Abel's implications.
"Now with that said.."
His blood-red pupils then begin to glow in a brighter shade of red. They were Mystic Eyes, and they were staring into her own, and judging by their volume of power coming from both of them, they were [Jewel]-Rank.
She felt her motor functions slowly being taken over, with her own struggles being rendered null and void instantly, She herself was fully conscious in this process, but at that point, she felt like she was no longer in control of her own body.
... Rather, it felt like her own body was evicting her very thoughts out of it, as the synchronization between mind and body have now been completely severed.
"... The moment you suplex me, is the moment you rouse from your dream." Abel stated. "Now then Miss Edelfelt..."
She then sees her body move on its own, towards behind Abel.
"... Drop em like it's hot."
Before she was completely evicted from Abel's presence, two phrases stood before her.
[German Suplex]
[Frankensteiner]
"... What the actual hell."
She then feels her thighs crush his head between them like sparrow eggs, right before lifting him off of his chair and slamming his whole body into the velvet couch.
After that, everything simply goes black.
(Inside Pierre, 6:39 AM)
The Edelfelt's eyes abruptly open, finding herself in an entanglement of limbs and body on a king-sized mattress.
The lion-maned 6,5' Designator was comatose on the floor, the three Japanese women were cuddled together like a pack of puppies, the albino and her parasitic guest were still sleeping in the empty tub, and the Irishwoman was fast asleep on the dining table, head on table, ass on the wooden chair.
"... Ugh, a proper lady shouldn't be treated like some sort of inmate in this 5-Star gulag." Luvia groaned out in mild disgust as she tried to readjust her body in the already-cramped bed.
She wanted to wake up, but she was too fatigued from Abel's little "therapy session".
If anything, the whole free Frankensteiner wasn't gratifying at all.
"... Ugh." Luvia groaned out as she stuffed her face with a pillow. "... Can things get any worse?"
From the floor below, Jordan himself was lying on his left, snoring and sleep-mumbling incoherently.
Out of sheer boredom, Luvia tried to make out what the magi says, only to come up barely anything resembling a coherent speech pattern.
"... *Snort*- where the fuck..." Jordan moaned out. "... Where the fuck is my Semtex..."
... It might be safe for her to assume that she herself may be going gradually mad as well.
"I curse you to my last breath, Lewis Carroll." Luvia remarked before she screamed into her pillow.
(Whataburger Parking Lot, Arkansas, United States, 6:56 AM)
"So where now?" Monica asked. "I mean, is it smart idea to go for a takeout while we're on the run?"
"That's why I went in." Abel replied as he tossed a wrapped burger towards Monica.
"Hey, where's our share!?" Shinji cried out underneath the thrown coat.
"Oh shut it." Abel remarked as he ate his share. "It's not like there's anything leading down into your throat anyway."
Shinji then looked toward Kiritsugu, who's smoking a fresh cigarette.
"... Why does he get special treatment?" Shinji pointed towards Kiritsugu.
"What, you want one?" Abel pointed out as he offered a cigarette.
Shinji blinks a few times in confusion.
"... Uh, should I?" Shinji asked Kiritsugu.
"Wait until you're 23, kid." Kiritsugu replied.
"I CAN'T! I'M ALREADY DEAD!" Shinji screeched out.
"Dad, why are we even keeping him?" Monica asked in irritation.
"Felt like if I left him behind, he would be even more of a waste than he already is." Abel pointed out. "Besides, every journey needs a comic relief."
"... That is fucked up, dude." Shinji whimpered out.
"Trust me buddy, I got things much worse planned just for you." Abel smiled wickedly. "It involves your porn collection that my guys found on your custom PC's hard drive."
"Ooh, Clockwork Orange?" Monica asked.
Abel nods.
"... What the fuck is Clockwork Orange?" Shinji asked.
"Don't look at me." Kiritsugu remarked. "Only watched Bullet in the Head and Hard Boiled only because Fujimura got me into it 5 years ago."
As their conversation continued, a fair-skinned man that looked to be in his early thirties walked out of the door, wearing a three-piece beige suit with black leather cleats, a takeout bag in one hand, and a brown leather handcase in another.
He then checks his wristwatch as he walked towards his Ford Crown Victoria, now reading 6:59.
"Hmm, making good time as usual." The man remarked to himself. "At this rate, I should be able to reach Meino Park unimpeded-"
*click*
Behind him, Abel pointed his FN Five-seveN at the man's head.
"Hand over the fucking car if you know what's good for you." Abel demanded.
"Oh come now, holding a man at gunpoint from behind?" The man remarked. "And you consider yourself better than those Alt-Right bastards with their overcompensating firearms?"
"Hey, at least I admit that Belgium makes better guns than the U.S." Abel remarked. "M240 ousted the M60 like no one's business."
"Not proving my point otherwise, Grand Ruler." The man remarked as Abel's eyes slightly widened upon hearing those words come out of the man's mouth.
The man than swings his handcase behind Abel, knocking away Abel's Five-seveN from his hands, before thrusting his foot into Abel's stomach, sending him back as the man opened his handcase in one swift motion.
The case's pelican lid opened to reveal a golden star-shaped belt buckle with a large black circle with shining silver stars in them, drifting by their lonesome like the ones seen in the night skies.
"Never thought I'd get to use this so soon..." The man remarked with slight smugness as he put the buckle over his chest.
The star then wraps itself around the man's torso.
"Dad!" Monica cried out.
"ANTI-ORIGIN ROUND, NOW-"
"HEEEEENNNNNNN... SHIN!"
A pillar of azure light surround the man in the beige suit. The silhouette of an average-looking man who wouldn't look out of place working at a Fortune 500 company was slowly being morphed into something more... majestic.
Something more... imposing.
Something more... American.
From the pillar of light, a booming and sonorous roar echoed as the sun rose from the hills nearby.
"DAD! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON!?" Monica asked. "AND WHY IS THIS WHOLE PERFECT SHITSTORM REMINDING OF LION KING!?"
As the sun rose above the hills afar, the man himself was no longer there. Instead, a humanoid white lion, it's snow-white mane glistening in the morning light, its muscular body rivaling that of a Greek God, shown off in fine detail through its spandex invoking the colors of the patriotic American flag of red, white, and blue, and a star-shaped chassis carrying wings of the seven prismatic colors of the rainbow, altogether forming an embodiment of the idealized American perfection.
"... Aw shit." Abel grimaced. "I knew that star-shaped chassis looked familiar..."
"Your initial design could've used some more improvements." The lion-man remarked. "You're welcome for me innovating your Mystic Code, [Columbia]. I truly made it fit for a true patriot of the land of the brave and free."
"I have no problems someone else taking my shit, as long as A) I get a two week notice prior, and B), WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY ROYALTIES, EDISON!?" Abel pointed out right before he unloaded his FN Five-seveN at the identified Thomas Edison.
The bullets however, simply steered clear from Edison.
"... Goddammit, an EMP singularity field!?" Abel groaned out. "Then again, screw [Concept Improvement A+], and here I thought that giving all Casters [Territory Creation] and [Item Construction] was good cost-saving measure, and he had to go and make them both EX-rank."
"You're welcome, by the way." Edison proudly remarked. "Now, while I may be more than willing to have a gentlemen's punch-up with you in order to test my upgrades to your [Columbia], I'm afraid I must make haste. My workshop in New Jersey mustn't be kept waiting any longer!"
The wings of seven colors behind Edison begin to lift the lion-man up into the air, trailing behind him a cloud of steam and white smoke behind him as he took off while The Marine's Hymn played from the lion-man's rainbow-winged jetpack.
"... CHANGE OF PLANS, MONICA!" Abel cried out as he projected a winch cable.
He then tosses the cable around Edison's ankle, clips the cable around it, and connect the cable around his waist.
"GRAB ON!" Abel roared out as he reached out for his hand.
Monica grabs onto Abel's hand, her palm now protruding iron stakes into Abel's hand to secure her grip.
"WHAT IN THE BLAZES!?" Edison roared out in surprise.
"HEY EDISON!" Abel cried out. "NEW YORK IS NEAR NEW JEARSY, RIGHT!?"
"SO YOU WISH TO CARPOOL!?" Edison pointed out. "YOU KNOW THAT YOU REALLY NEEDN'T TO POINT A GUN AT MY HEAD!"
"TO BE FAIR, YOUR SAINT GRAPH PERIMETERS ARE SO STUPIDLY LOW THAT I KINDA MISTAKEN YOU FOR AN AVERAGE JOE!" Abel replied. "IT WAS ONLY AFTER THAT YOU PUT ON [COLUMBIA] THAT MY EYES RECOGNIZED YOU AS A LEGIT HEROIC SPIRIT! SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHO THE HELL SUMMONED YOU!?"
Edison blinks in surprise before answering bluntly.
"We weren't summoned to this plane." Edison pointed out matter-of-factly. "In fact, the Throne of Heroes stopped functioning entirely about a week prior."
"... What." Abel droned out.
But before he can press for more answers, a bolt of lightning strikes directly at Abel, electrocuting him, Monica, the turtle, the talking heads, and Edison himself, right before they were sent plummeting back down to the earth below.
"... Why didn't I go for a composite kevlar over metallic fiber?" Abel bemoaned.
"Turtle's still alive..." Monica groaned out. "Then again, it's not really a living turtle to begin with..."
"I can taste my thoughts..." Shinji groaned out. "... They taste like death."
"I can now vouch for the fact that getting struck by lightning is no longer on my bucket list." Kiritsugu deadpanned as he spat out his completely-burnt out cigarette. "... Get used feeling anything at all, kid. You'll get numb to em."
"WHO DARES!?" Edison roared out.
His response was a laughter, booming like the thunder from the very heavens above.
"SO MUCH FOR DC!" The voice proclaimed. "AC IS SUPERIOR IN ALL ASPECTS!"
From the skies above, the once bright morning sky turned into that of a rumbling tempest.
"TESSSSSLAAAAAAAA!" Edison roared out upon recognizing the voice from the heavens. "SHOW YOURSELF!"
Another flash of lightning emits from the darkening skies above, invoking the wrath of the gods of old.
"HA! AND WHY SHOULD I HUMOR A CON'S REQUEST!?" Tesla's voice boomed from above. "COME UP HERE WITHOUT RIPPING OFF SOME SCHMUCK'S IDEAS FOR ONCE!"
Abel simply drummed his digits on the ground that he was lying on, grumbling at his prospects of reaching the East Coast as the two insufferable geniuses began hurling insults at each other like elementary school kids at recess.
"I need to make a call..." Abel remarked as he pulled his cellphone out from underneath his pants, only to find its functions ceased. "... Eh, I'll go find a payphone. Or one of those emergency roadside phones. Hopefully they still work..."
Time Until [Kaleidoscope] is Destroyed:
2 Months
26 Days
17 Hours
1 Minutes
6 Seconds
Author's Notes: And so, all of the Heroic Spirits once contained in the Throne of Heroes are running amok in the world of the living. Cain's little stunt of forcibly summoning Grand Servants along with his mere presence of Cain's Origin of [Destruction] creating a paradox between boundary and space, causing a breach between the world of the living, and the Throne of Heroes.
Lobo is now secured, and now, The War of Currents has begun once more. In other words, the beginning of the shitstorm before the whole Kaleidoscope collapses upon itself.
And remember, this is a personal self-satisfaction project. Just want to see this through to the very end.