Chapter 16: Lila Rossi
— Please!
— No.
— Come oooooooooon! Daaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !
— ...
— My beloved little brother, whom I love with all my heart! The best Robin of all time and of all universes and multiverse combined!
Damian looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
— No.
Billy and Luka, who were comfortably settled on the couch in Marinette's room, looked at them, amused.
Kagami, who was sitting on a chair next to the couch, was enjoying a strawberry bush. She had recently joined the hero team as Ryuuko. She wasn't at all interested in the discussion between Marinette and Damian. She wasn't the kind of person who was interested in lost causes.
Tikki, Plagg, Sass and Longg ate popcorn together while watching the twins arguing. They had already made the bets and were eagerly awaiting the result.
Marinette had gotten it into her head to redo the music "I'll Be There for You" from "the Rembrandts". In other words, she wanted to reproduce the opening theme of the old "F.R.I.E.N.D.S." series. Jason had already given his consent (he would be the one to film all the scenes), which was not surprising in itself, he loved the chao that Marinette's fantasies generated.
Speaking of Jason.
The latter was officially in Paris to supervise the operation... In reality, Jason was taking care of everything except the "Hawk Moth" case. Since he had arrived, he had already arrested several drug traffickers, a pedophile cybercriminal network and had already prevented several robberies.
There were two reasons for not investing. The first was that he felt that his sister already had things under control. The second was that he had simply lost by the straw.
Bruce had decided that in addition to Damian, another sibling should accompany them to oversee the operation. Alas, no one wanted to go. They were all unanimous on one point (yes, including Dick. He even burst out laughing when Barbara told him the whole story):
Batman was the last person who had any right to be angry because someone had hidden something.
He was the king of secrecy, so it was no wonder his descendants had the same tendency.
Moreover, let's be honest, Marinette had done a good job. There were certainly a few blunders that had been made, but overall, she had done very well. Especially taking into account the fact that she had done practically everything on her own.
But of course, the only thing Bruce remembered was "you kept information from me". Talk about a Drama Queen.
— Sorry I'm late, guys, I got stuck in traffic and... what's going on?
Jon had just come in.
He had decided to go to journalism school in Paris. He was one of the "reinforcements" sent by the League to help with the "Hawk Moth" case. Jon had for the occasion opened a blog called "Miraculous" which gave a lot of information about the group of Parisian "superheroes". Also exclusive interviews, videos of the fights, photos... The aim was to control the information circulating about the young heroes, so that an incident like the one with Queen Bee would never happen again.
Jon had a second essential role: that of preventing Marinette and Damian from killing each other. Jason was supposed to be there as a babysitter, but he spent more time throwing fuel on the fire...
— Joooon! Help me convince Dami to say yes!
— Kent, do me a favor and talk some sense into her.
Jon sighed.
This afternoon was going to be really long...
-XxxX-
Marinette entered in the school with her brother at her side. The two were quietly discussing in Mandarin, about the kind of advertising campaign Marinette should do to announce her brand new website, supposed to launch her career as the muse for Wayne Enterprise. Damian was helping his sister with the design of the site.
— Can you imagine?! Lila knows Prince Ali personally! She even flew with him in his private jet!
Hearing Prince Ali's name, Marinette looked at her classmate strangely. Damian also turned his head towards Rose and raised an eyebrow.
Marinette was sure that her blonde friend was talking about "Lila Rossi". A French-Italian girl who had recently moved in with her mother after her mother divorced her father (yes, Marinette had done some research). Her mother worked in the French embassy in Italy, her father was an airline pilot.
The first few times Lila had started spreading lies, Marinette systematically sent her packing. However, Billy advised her to simply ignore her, as her behavior was irritating others in the class (the fact that Billy got along with everyone in the class had its advantages). Tikki had also advised him to simply ignore her as well. After all, she had already said several times that Lila was telling lies; if no one listened to her, it was no longer her problem. She had done her part.
Marinette had decided to follow their advice.
It was extremely frustrating.
As the twins continued their way to their respective classes, the stories about Lila multiplied.
— Lila knows every director in Hollywood! She even promised to tell Steven Spielberg about me!
Marinette frowned.
— This girl has an incredible life! Thanks to the interview I did with her, the visitors on my blog exploded!
Marinette walked by Alya and gnashed her teeth.
— Lila is Netty Wayne's best friend! Can you imagine! I heard Damian Wayne even asked her out.
Damian immediately frowned.
The twins looked at each other, completely stunned. Damian chose to speak first.
— Do you know this "Lila"?
— Yes, she's the new girl in my class, you know the one who-
— The one who forges a fictional life for herself? I remember.
— Mmm.
— Your classmates are stupid.
— Da-... Thomas, don't be mean...
— Are we talking about the girl who claims to have saved Jagged Stone's "kitten" from a plane taking off? Who has arthritis in a different wrist every day? Who pretends to be friends with a prince who is not allowed to have any relationships other than with members of the aristocracy or royalty? And who apparently wants to make Jagged Stone look like a pedophile? I'm sorry dear sister, but these plebs don't shine with intelligence.
— You know, "normal" people don't have fun checking everything people tell them. Only father would do such a thing...
Damian rolled his eyes and left to join his class.
Marinette saw that Damian had joined a brown boy with green eyes. If her memory didn't fail her, the boy's name was Marc.
She smiled.
The brunette was happy to see that her brother had made a friend.
To Marinette's great satisfaction, there was at least one person who absolutely didn't believe Lila's preposterous lies.
— Mr. Drake, may I switch seats and sit up front, next to Adrien? I have trouble hearing from where I am, because of my tinnitus...
— Oh really, miss Rossi? Where is your hearing aid?
— Uh... W-What?
— The only person in this class who has a hearing problem is Mr. Batson. That's why he's out front and Miss Dupain-Cheng is always with him to help him take notes.
— ...
All of Lila's attempts to get special treatment fell through.
— Mr. Drake, can I get someone to take notes for me, my arthritis is killing me...
— Oh... What kind of arthritis do you have, miss Rossi?
— Uh...Uh...I-
— It's funny, when it comes to flirting with Mr. Agreste in the hallway you don't seem to have a problem using your wrist to seduce him. I see that Mr. Agreste is an excellent remedy for pain. If that's the case, he should be sent to nursing homes to help relieve the pain of many elderly people.
The whole class laughed.
Lila blushed embarrassed.
Adrien seemed to want to bury himself.
Jason, I love you!
-XxxX-
Marinette walked towards the library. For once she would be alone, Billy had been invited by Ivan for a "buddy" outing.
The brunette had left the fencing club this year. Her schedule was far too full for her to afford extracurricular activities. It was Damian who took her place on the team. To her great satisfaction, he got along very well with Kagami.
The brunette had some homework to do.
Taking advantage of the fact that no one was in the library yet, Tikki began to explore the surroundings. She saw when Lila entered the library and pulled Adrien inside.
Poor boy...
From what Tikki understood, Lila wanted to do her history homework with the blonde. In the eyes of the little goddess, it seemed more like a poor excuse to spend time with Adrien.
Tikki didn't like this girl at all.
She had told Marinette to ignore her just to protect her.
Like young Billy, Tikki had noticed that the others in the class were beginning to find her attitude annoying. Even those who had been friends with her surrogate last year found her behavior silly.
This meant that they didn't believe her.
Tikki had even overheard a conversation between some of the girls (Alya, Mylene, Alix). Marinette had left her things in the classroom to go to the toilet.
— Marinette is really exaggerating! It wasn't nice what she did to Lila earlier! What's wrong with her? They don't even know each other!
— I don't know Alya, Marinette doesn't strike me as a person who would pick on someone for no reason...
— Little Mylene just barely. Mari said that Lila lies all the time, that's why it annoys her.
— Is this a joke?! If there's someone lying, it's Marinette! She told us she was the daughter of a rich man from America, right? She never wants to say his name! She claims she went to the United States over the holidays? She could have ordered what she gave us online! In comparison, I've already seen Lila's mother several times. She even confirmed to me that she had already had to travel a lot for her work... I don't see why what she says would be false!
— Mari really went to America Alya, Juleka told us that she was always talking to Luka by messenger...
— Speaking of which, isn't Marinette supposed to be in a relationship with Juleka's brother? Then why is she spending so much time with Billy? Lila told me she sees her hanging out with a bunch of older boys all the time. I've seen them a few times, too! There're a dark-haired guy with blue eyes, he's super tough and another guy with black hair, who wears glasses.
Mylene opened her eyes wide.
— You mean Marinette is cheating on Luka?! And with multiple boys?!
Alix frowned.
— I don't believe a word of it.
Alya looked at her, then rolled her eyes.
— We're talking about a girl who's Chloe's best friend! I bet she makes Chloe pay for her clothes! Did you see the clothes Marinette's wearing? They're not worth much... for a rich kid she doesn't try very hard. Besides, doesn't it bother you that she always looks down on us?!
— ...
— ...
Before Mylene or Alix could answer, Marinette came back from the toilet. The girls immediately changed the subject.
Several times, Tikki heard Alya break sugar on Marinette's back when she wasn't there.
The Kwami felt sorry for her holder, who really liked all the girls in her class. They were nice in front of the brunette, enjoyed the gifts and her kindness but said bad things about her holder whenever they had the chance.
Sometimes, Lila would join them to tell lie after lie about Marinette. But of course, never in front of her.
Tikki found that attitude disgusting.
As she was about to leave to join her holder, Adrien brought out a book that the little Kwami knew all too well.
Tikki was shocked!
Why did Adrien have the Miraculous Book?!
— We'll now we can get going on our history homework. It's so much more fun doing it together, don't you think?
When Lila saw Adrien's book, she almost tore it out of his hands.
— What's that?
— Nothing... Just stories about superheroes...
— I love superheroes...
The young lady's voice became sweet.
Tikki rolled her eyes.
The little Kwami approached the two teenagers as discreetly as possible.
— You know, I actually happened to be very close friends of Ladybug...
— Really?!
— We can chat about it if you want, not here tough! Why don't we meet at the park after school and I'll tell you everything!
Tikki sees Lila discreetly steal Adrien's book, while making sure she gets her date.
The little Kwami squinted.
Didn't anyone ever teach this boy not to follow strangers?!
However, this was not her problem.
Tikki had something else more urgent to do.
She had to tell Marinette!
-XxxX-
Marinette perched on a building right in front of the park, transformed into Ladybug.
She was watching the video Alya posted on her blog.
The brunette rolled her eyes several times.
Lila was really lucky that Hawk Moth had a minimum of brain cells. If she had been in Gotham, Lila would already be dead or taken hostage for claiming to be friends with a hero.
To her, the situation was ridiculous. But if Tikki said this book was important, then she trusted her.
Tikki had never lied to her.
The brunette saw when Lila entered the park. She used her yo-yo to watch the scene. The teenager could hear the whole conversation, having placed small microphones on all the park benches (she wasn't really sure where the little liar was going to set up).
When Adrien got closer, Lila threw the book in the trash.
Oh, at least, I'd no longer have any trouble getting it back now...
Lila began her pathetic little acting actress act.
— So you do know Ladybug, for real?
— Not only Ladybug saved my life, we've become very close friends. Because we have something very special in common, it's what I want to tell you about. I'm the descendant of a vixen superheroine myself, Volpina.
— Volpina?!
From her perch, Marinette facepalmed.
Seriously? How could someone be so credulous?!
The brunette was feeling terrible.
She didn't like seeing her former kitten manipulated like that.
Adrien was really innocent... He didn't deserve to be tricked like that bit** was doing!
— Wait a minute, I think I read about her in my book!
— Of course she's in your book! She's one of the most important superheroes, more powerful and celebrated than Ladybug... Between you and me, Ladybug doesn't even make the top ten. My grandma gave me this necklace.
Seeing that Lila was showing Adrien a pendant (very similar to the original, we had to be honest), Marinette decided to intervene.
She landed on purpose, right in front of the two teenagers. She walked towards them, visibly furious.
— Are you Lila Rossi?
She saw the girl turn pale.
Perfect.
— Listen to me, kid, I'm not going to tell you twice. Don't you ever tell lies about me again. Do you understand me? Do you have any idea of the consequences of your actions? To say that you're my best friend? Are you out of your mind?! Hawk Moth could attack you at any moment because of your nonsense!
Adrien looked at the scene bewildered and asked in a small voice.
— So... I'm guessing you're not a descendant of a superhero either?
Oh... Adrien... You're so pure that it almost annoyed...
— A descendant of a Superhero?! What the hell is this all about?!
— How dare you?!
Lila got up and ran away with tears in her eyes.
Seriously?! The girl uses superhero status to hit on a guy, she uses everyone as a slave, and she dares to blame me?!
Ladybug then turned to Adrien, waiting for an explanation. Once the blond guy told her the whole story, she sighed.
— Kid... You shouldn't believe everything people tell you; it can be extremely dangerous...
— I-I'd remember that... weren't you... weren't you a little harsh with her?
— Actually, I was nice. If Robin had heard that story, believe me, it would have been worse. He would have made her apologize in front of all the TV stations in France to set an example. I'm not even talking about Superboy, who would have given a lecture for hours to the person who posted that stupid interview...
—... I see... Could I have your autograph?
Oh my God... That boy is so cute...
Ladybug smiled and gave him an autograph.
She even agreed to take a selfie with him. The lady waited for Adrien to leave to retrieve the book, then de-transformed.
— So Tikki? Is this the book?
— Yes Marinette, it's THE book.
— What's so important about it?
— This book contains inestimable information about all the Miraculous. It is dangerous in the wrong hands...
— I see...
Why did Adrien have such a valuable book with him?
The young lady thought about it, but only one conclusion came to her mind. She didn't like it at all.
Marinette took out her cell phone and sent a message to her two brothers.
As she was about to return home, she saw a huge ball of fire approaching Paris at full speed. Marinette looked at the scene, her eyes wide open.
How could such a meteorite get so close to the city without the JL intervening?! In fact, how could a meteorite of this size have come so close to the earth at all?!
She saw Superboy's silhouette pass right over her head.
Marinette transformed herself. She knew perfectly well that Jon would be able to handle the situation alone. However, this story was not clear.
As Superboy was about to intercept the meteor, a silhouette stood in front of him and intercepted the meteorite and sent it back.
The young hero looked at the figure strangely.
She then addressed the crowd.
— I'm Volpina, the only superheroine Paris needs!
People began to cheer her.
Marinette and Jon looked at the scene raising an eyebrow.
Did that girl really think they were that stupid?!
Considering the size of that meteorite, she should have already melted down almost all the buildings around, not to mention the people who were there who should already be burning alive... (Why didn't anyone realize that?!).
I'm starting to think that Damian was right about the plebeians.
The girl approached them.
— You two come at a good time, I need a hand!
The two young heroes looked at each other. Then looked at the girl.
Bullsh**.
It was clearly the only word that crossed their minds.
Superboy came up to "Volpina" and threw a quick punch. The girl disappeared with a little scream, surprised by the heroes' reaction.
Ladybug contacted Robin and briefly explained the situation.
Jon, at her side, listened silently.
— She will probably go to Adrien's house.
— Copy that. Viperion and Ryuuko are with me.
— All right, then. Do me a favor and punch her in the face.
Robin's sinister snigger was her only answer.
"Volpina" was slaughtered.
When Ladybug and Superboy arrived, all the girl had to do was purify the akuma.
-XxxX-
Ladybug secret base, 11:30pm.
— So, Babs, what do you think?
— This guy's got some kind of mini nuclear power station in his house. I also found some interesting data on his computer. Check it out.
The entire Miraculous Book had been digitized. There was also a careful compilation of all the information available online on "Hawk Moth". He had also exchanged a lot of emails with Vicki Vale about the heroes.
— He has several cameras at home, I will take care of it. By the end of the evening, you will be able to watch him 24 hours a day.
— Great, thanks Babs.
Marinette turned to her two brothers, Jason and Damian, as well as Billy and Jon who were present.
— Billy, I want you to get closer to Adrien. We need to find out if he's involved in this or not.
— Got it.
— Jon, I need you to analyze the Agreste house with your x-ray vision. We need to find out where the Akumas are coming from. I want you to give me a complete plan of the I want you to take care of the plague that is Vicki.
— Yeah, sure thing.
— Jay... As soon as Jon finishes his plan, I want you to pay a visit to The Agreste and leave them some presents from us.
— Dami, I think it's time, that Netty Wayne and her brother Damian Wayne, get a little more closer to Gabriel Agreste... Can I count on you?
— TT, it's already done.
Marinette smiles.
Bonus 1: Jason, the ladies' killer...
Roy was having a quiet breakfast when he heard his phone vibrate.
He had just received a message from Jason's little sister. He wondered what little LadyBird was sending him.
When he opened the message, he spit out his coffee.
It was a video montage.
The first video was of Jason dressed as a teacher being hit on by two teachers. One with red hair and freckles, rather cute. The second one had purple locks and wore glasses. They wanted the guest somewhere, and Jason was obviously very embarrassed by the situation.
— Well, Mr. Drake? Would you mind coming with us after school? It's a welcome drink...
— Hmm... I arrived three months ago, you know...
The second video just showed Jason walking down the hallway with books in his hand. Where he passed by, all the girls were always turning their heads at the same time.
Then there were pictures of what appeared to be a teachers' locker, overflowing with gifts, chocolates and small cards.
— So Jason... how does it feel to be a sex symbol? Should I start calling you pedobear?
— If you could come to class more often Todd, thanks to you, Mrs. Mendeleïev becomes more bearable when you're around. For once, your presence serves a purpose.
— Stop it Dami... It's not his fault that his charm only works on girls under fifteen...
— Girls and long-term bachel singles.
The twins burst out laughing together.
Poor Jason looked at all the cards with a grin.
— Seriously... This is my life?
And of course, there were plenty of close-up photos on Jason's head completely exasperated, even terrified.
Roy almost choked several times, so hilarious were the faces Jason made.
He decided that Jason's head would be his new wallpaper.
Bonus 2: Batman... Just... No.
Batman was in Paris.
Ladybug was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She'd just beaten an akuma.
It was 3:00 in the morning, she was tired!
The day before, she had only slept two hours in total (commissions to finish, akumas, homework, promotional videos to shoot), and on top of that... She was in her "period". Her belly was hurting like hell!
She had other things to do than to manage THE HEN (or rather the bat) who served as her FATHER.
That's how Ladybug threw a monstrous tantrum in front of the cameras of the whole France.
— Ladybug, you didn't respect the conditions.
— Damn it, Father, LET ME LIVE! I'm just an hour late, ONE HOUR late!
— That's not-
— NO! That's enough! This is MY city, MY territory, MY rules! Do I tell you how to arrest criminals, UH? NO! Then stop being on my back all the time! Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't defend myself! Go bother Robin!
— Yeah, but no, don't. Leave me out of this mess.
It was a raging Ladybug who swung from building to building on the rooftops of Paris, leaving behind a Batman visibly bewildered by his daughter's behavior. The poor guy had his shoulders slightly down.
— Father... you should read books about girls' puberty... there are times when they shouldn't be disturbed.
— Demon Spawn is right, B., this is clearly not the time to get in her head.
The man clearly seemed lost in the words of his two sons.
The next day, the social networks went up in flames.
"OMG, Ladybug is Batman's DAUGHTER!"
"Poor Ladybug, having to fight at this time..."
"Batman struggling to figure out his kid, LMAO, I'm dead!"
"I'm the only one who's reassured to know that I'm not the only one struggling to understand my daughters?"
"Batman... The Lost Daddy..."
"I'm the only one who's shocked to know that BATMAN has CHILDREN?!"
For the rest of the following week, Batman found himself with criminals who were giving him advice on how to get closer to his daughter...
Even Gordon looked at him sympathetically.
— I have a daughter of my own, too, if you ever need any advice. You'll see, she'll settle down in time...
When Bruce returned to the Manor, there was a book on his desk.
"I hope this will help you see more clearly, sir. Signed A."
As Bruce took the book in his hands, he realized he had hit rock bottom.
The book was entitled "Puberty for Dummies."