A/N: I think I've mentioned this before, but I honestly stopped reading Rick Riordan stuff after the Heroes of Olympus series ended. I picked up the first Magnus Chase and Trials of Apollo books, but I do not remember either of them and I never finished those series. So if you're looking for references to the canon information in those books...tough luck. I write in a post-Blood of Olympus universe where none of the other stuff happened. Maybe I'll read them eventually, but not for the sake of improving this fic.

This premise has probably been done before, but I honestly don't care. It's comedy potential galore, which is a nice change of pace after the last chapter.

Disclaimer: If I made money off this, maybe I'd update it more regularly :P

P is for Parents

"Dad."

Hades looked up, startled, and Nico suspected the god hadn't even heard him wander into the throne room. He seemed deeply engrossed in whatever scroll he was looking at...perhaps Nico should've come at a different time.

"What is it?" Hades asked, screwing his face up into something resembling a smile. Nico didn't visit the Underworld particularly frequently, and every time he did come, Hades was always trying to be as pleasant as possible to make him feel welcome. It had a tendency to backfire, but Nico didn't have the heart to criticize his efforts.

"I decided to come here because I wanted to tell you something important." To be honest, Nico had been dreading this moment. He wasn't sure how his father would react to the news, but he'd rather tell Hades now than have him hear it through one of the Underworld minions who "checked" on Nico every now and then.

"Well, you can tell me anything." Hades placed the scroll on Persephone's empty throne. She rarely sat there if she didn't have to, which made it very useful for Hades when he used the throne room as an office. "What's on your mind?"

Nico gulped. "Dad, I'm...dating...a boy at Camp Half-Blood."

He waited for his father's response.

"Is that all? I don't mind the gender of who you date, Nico. You know I just want you to be happy. Besides, it's not like your love life will ever be as deviant as Apollo's," Hades chuckled to himself.

Nico winced. The hard part was still coming. "That's the thing...his name is Will Solace."

Hades frowned, clearly trying to place the name. "Will Solace?"

"He's a son of Apollo."

The words hung in the air for a moment as Hades absorbed the news. Nico watched his father inhale deeply, close his eyes, and pinch the bridge of his nose. If that was the extent of his reaction, perhaps this would be fine after all-

"What?!"

Never mind.

"Why?" Hades hissed, a little quieter but still upset. "I mean- date who you want, but- you have several options- Apollo?" He spluttered for a few minutes before slumping back in his throne, muttering about the annoying god of light.

"You shouldn't judge him based on his parents," Nico said pointedly. "He's not as annoying as his dad, and he makes me happy, okay?"

Hades heaved a sigh. "I know," he conceded. "I just think you could do so much better. Although this is certainly better than either of my brothers' insufferable children." He rolled his eyes. Nico decided to mention his crush on Percy on a different day.

"You should introduce him to us," a female voice behind Nico suggested. Oh no. When had Persephone shown up?

"What?" Nico turned around to face his stepmother, grinding out the question through gritted teeth.

"It's only appropriate," Persephone said smoothly, shooting Nico a smug look as she passed him to approach her husband. "You are Hades' only demigod child. Any partner of yours should meet certain… requirements." She delicately seated herself in her throne, tossing aside the scroll Hades had placed there.

"I really don't think that's necessary." Nico glared at Persephone as he spoke. "He's a demigod at Camp Half-Blood, it's not like he's somehow a secret villain or something."

Persephone smiled sweetly at her husband, ignoring Nico's dirty look. Hades smiled back. "I agree with Persephone."

"Of course you do," Nico muttered to himself.

"I would like to meet this...son of Apollo."

"His name is Will."

"Right. I would like to meet this Will, and soon." Hades straightened up again. "We shall have him for dinner in three days."

"What? Here?" Nico gestured at the skull decorations and dead soldiers stationed around the throne room. "Is the goal of this dinner to get him to break up with me?"

"If he can't appreciate the palace of the Underworld, he hardly has any business pursuing a romantic relationship with you of all people," Persephone interjected.

"Precisely what I would say, my love. Nico, I can't dictate who you choose to...date...but as a father, I consider it my duty to know more about him. My decision is final."

Nico groaned. "Fine, but if she mentions the dandelion incident once, we're leaving."

Persephone smiled coyly.

"Welcome back." Will greeted his boyfriend as he slumped into the infirmary. "How was your trip?"

"Amazing," Nico mumbled sarcastically. "Haven't you heard? The Underworld is the hottest place to be these days."

"That's nice." Will handed Nico a granola bar, gesturing for him to eat up. Travelling to and from the Underworld wasn't exactly a casual affair. "Completely unrelated question, why did Mrs. O'Leary shadow travel into the infirmary an hour ago and give me an obsidian tablet with 'Friday, 6:00 pm, RSVP required' written on it?" He gestured at the tablet that was currently propped up against the wall.

Nico fantasized about throwing the tablet- or a significantly larger rock- at his stepmother's head. "At what point in a relationship do you think it's appropriate to meet the parents?" he asked, smiling weakly.

"If you're trying to make a joke, it's not a particularly funny one."

"I'm not."

"I was afraid of that," Will sighed. "So, is it a good or bad sign that I've been invited to the Underworld at 6:00 pm on a Friday?"

"I'm not sure yet," Nico said apologetically.

Will chuckled. "Well we can find out after I RSVP. On a separate note, how does one send an RSVP to the Underworld?"

"Let me get Mrs. O'Leary."

Three days was a very short period of time, and Nico found himself dreading the dinner more and more with each passing day. On top of that, Will seemed fine, which was stressing out Nico even more. Wasn't meeting the parents supposed to be a stressful experience for the person actually doing the meeting? Wasn't that experience even more stressful when the parents in question were the King and Queen of the literal Underworld?

"I just don't see much that could go wrong," Will said nonchalantly when Nico pressed him about it. "I'm assuming they can't kill me or trap me in the Underworld since it would likely start another war. Typical meeting the parents shenanigans don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Besides, I imagine their social skills aren't much better than yours, and I'd say I won you over pretty successfully." He laughed as Nico swatted his shoulder.

Friday evening found Nico seriously considering finding a monster to maim him so he could skip the dinner. Of course, Will would probably just find a way to heal him and drag him there anyway, but the idea seemed worth a shot.

"Do you think I should spring for a tie, or is the button down with the dress pants enough of a statement?" Will pretended not to notice his boyfriend melodramatically sprawled out on the Apollo cabin floor as he continued getting ready for the dinner. "The invite didn't mention a dress code, but it seems relatively formal to be going to a palace."

"Can I borrow a tie to strangle myself with?" Nico responded, a bit muffled from where he lay face-down. On Will's insistence, he had traded out his usual bomber jacket for a gray sport coat, white button-down, and black slacks.

"Nico, for real."

"Wear the gray tie." It would go nicely with the black shirt and navy slacks, and it wouldn't stick out too much in the Underworld. Will was already too sunny for Hades' palace.

"Thanks, babe." Will grabbed the tie and deftly worked on knotting it around his neck. "We'll be an adorably color-coordinated couple."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Nico mumbled.

"Have I already mentioned you look very handsome?" Will sat down next to Nico as he finished with his tie.

Nico pushed himself up onto his elbows, trying not to blush. "You said it when I walked in, idiot."

"Well, it's worth repeating." Will kissed Nico's forehead fondly. "It's going to be fine, okay? And if it isn't, I promise I'll make it up to you afterwards."

"Fine." Nico sat up and took Will's hand. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, are you? You could use a comb or some gel or something." Will teased as he gestured at Nico's trademark shaggy black hair.

Nico scowled as he shadow-travelled them away from the cabin and into his personal hell.

Hades and Persephone were waiting in the garden when the couple arrived. Nico resisted the urge to physically fight his stepmother and settled for a tight smile as Hades greeted them.

"You must be Will Solace." Hades was barely managing to hide his disdain for the boy's significant resemblance to Apollo. "I am Nico's father Hades, and this is my wife Persephone."

"It's very nice to have you here, Will," Persephone smiled. "Nico is my husband's only demigod child, so we take a very special interest in his personal life."

"Of course," Will responded in his usual warm manner. "Thank you for inviting me, it's nice to see this part of Nico's life. And may I say, you have a truly spectacular garden."

Will wasn't lying. Nico would certainly describe the luminous plants and precious jewels that adorned the garden as spectacular, although the skeletal trees were more questionable. Still, complimenting Persephone's garden was a pretty good move.

"Thank you," Persephone's smile seemed to widen sickeningly. "Might I recommend the pomegranates?"

"You may not," Nico said pointedly and tightened his grip on Will's hand as the other boy chuckled nervously.

"Just a joke, Nico," Hades cut in. "Come, let me show you around."

Nico willed himself to relax as they ventured into the palace. Will was being the perfect guest, and so far, he looked more or less unperturbed by the Underworld. He nodded appropriately during Hades' lectures about the palace's history, complimented Persephone's decorations, and offered reassuring smiles to the very anxious Nico as the tour continued.

"And up there is Nico's bedroom, but I'm sure he'll show it to you after dinner," Hades concluded as they neared the dining room.

"Dad!" Nico protested, turning red as Will and Persephone stifled their laughter.

"What? I'm just saying- oh, no!" Hades' eyes widened with realization. "I will have none of that under this roof, you little tart!" Hades glared down Will threateningly.

"Of course not, sir," Will replied as evenly as possible while swallowing his amusement. It was obvious Hades' glare had been inherited by his son.

"Darling, you know what young love is like," Persephone quickly changed the subject. "Don't forget to offer our guest some dinner."

Hades grunted, still regarding Will suspiciously as he waved them all into the dining room. Nico briefly wondered if it was possible to die on the spot and end up somewhere besides the Underworld.

"Well, we've been talking about ourselves the entire night. Why don't you boys tell us about how camp is going these days?" Persephone asked sweetly as the two gods and two demigods situated themselves around the long dining table. Hades sat at the head, with his wife at his right hand and Nico and Will on his left. Nico ignored his stepmother's smug look- he knew the goddess was insistent on tormenting him with this dinner, but he would not let her win.

"It's really been thriving these days," Will responded politely, not reacting to the undead palace servants that appeared to set out the dishes and food. "The Apollo cabin- which I'm head counselor of, by the way- has gotten quite a few new members now that the war's over. I'm a lot busier with taking care of them, but I don't have to stitch up as many people in the infirmary," he joked. "It evens out so I can keep spending time with Nico."

Nico smiled a little. "Yeah, camp is the most relaxed it has been in a long time," he agreed. "And all the new cabins that were built added some really cool new demigods to camp. It's kind of chaotic, but nice."

"So, you're a healer?" Hades inquired, taking a sip of the nectar a servant placed next to him.

"That's right. Medicine is my specialty."

"He's the best healer at camp," Nico interjected, allowing himself to brag about his boyfriend. "He knows more about it than most children of Apollo I've ever met."

"It's really not that impressive," Will defended. "I'm good at medicine, but I can't do much of the other Apollo stuff."

"Really?" Persephone raised an eyebrow. "No songs, no bows and arrows, no prophecies?"

"Not very good ones," Will shrugged. "I do the singing and the archery when I have to, but I really prefer spending my time working on medicine."

Hades perked up. "That's a very respectable thing to be doing," he told Will in a significantly friendlier tone. "You keep focusing on that, not any of the futuristic nonsense your father is so fond of."

"Looks like the food's here!" Nico quickly cut off the conversation before it could go anywhere near his father's history with Apollo's Oracle.

"Right, right. I do hope you enjoy Italian, Will. I always try to have Italian dishes available when Nico visits me."

"I love Italian." A lasagna and small plate of ambrosia were sent down in front of Will as he spoke. "I've been trying to get Nico to teach me Italian, actually."

"Ah? I spoke Italian with his mother. It's quite easy to pick up with some practice."

Persephone coughed slightly at the mention of Maria. Nico wondered if he could get away with kicking her under the table.

"This was actually her favorite dessert," Hades gestured at the plate of zeppole in the center of the table. He either didn't notice Persephone's cough or didn't care. Nico's money was on the latter.

"Nico loves zeppole too," Will nudged Nico slightly. "You never told me your mom liked it."

Nico shrugged, not explaining that he honestly didn't know his mom's favorite dessert was zeppole until Hades mentioned it.

"Do you think Nico is very much like his mom?" Will asked Hades, ignoring both Nico's turmoil and Persephone's increasing annoyance.

"Oh, absolutely." Hades took a bite of ambrosia, clearly relaxing more and more as he spoke to Will. "If you think this boy can be stubborn, arguing with his mother was like trying to move a mountain."

"God, I know what you mean," Will rolled his eyes. "He almost killed himself shadow-travelling, and I still had to threaten to strap him into an infirmary bed to get him to rest."

Was this actually happening? Nico watched in horror as Will and Hades began to bond over the struggles of dating a di Angelo. This was somehow worse than when Hades had disliked Will for being a son of Apollo.

"He curses like his mother too," Hades lamented. "I'm definitely not the one who taught him that kind of language."

"Last month, he stubbed his pinky toe on the door to my cabin and swore in three different languages for five straight minutes without repeating himself once. I timed it and everything."

Hades laughed, and Nico felt like the world had turned upside down. "Maria was the same way! She used to curse out the dogs that barked too loudly and woke her up."

"Nico almost punched me in the nose for knocking on his cabin door before sunrise."

"Maria threw a vase at me for shadow-travelling into her home to make her breakfast in bed."

"Nico pushed me into the lake for teaching him how to ride a bicycle."

"Maria poured a glass of wine on my head when I tried to teach her Greek."

"Nico got an ear piercing and hid it from me for three days because he thought I would hate it."

"Maria once cut her own hair and wore a hat everywhere for nearly a week."

Nico was torn between yelling at Will for sharing so much about their relationship and listening to Hades' stories of his mother. He settled for finishing his lasagna while staring defiantly across the table at Persephone, who seemed equally torn between enjoying Nico's embarrassment and ending the discussion of Maria di Angelo. Technically, Nico wasn't really winning, but neither was Persephone.

"Oh my god," Will took a sip of nectar to help himself stop laughing as Hades finished telling a long story about the time Maria confronted a man harassing her on the street and ended up chasing him through town to beat him with her shoe. "It's really amazing that Nico gets all that from her. No offense to you sir, but I always assumed it was a Hades thing."

"I wish these were common attributes of my children," Hades complained. "Then I would know how to parent this boy properly."

"You could always try letting me turn him into a dandelion again," Persephone piped up drily.

"Again?" Will inquired, turning towards Nico with a puzzled look on his face.

"We should head back to camp!" Nico all but squeaked, shooting up. "It's getting really late!"

"But you haven't even touched the zeppole," Hades pointed out.

"Could we take it to go?" Will asked apologetically. "It is getting a bit late for us, and I should go check on my cabin."

"All right, follow Jacques and he'll take care of it." Hades gestured at a very French looking servant in a chef's hat. "Nico, can I talk to you while they do that?"

"Sure." Nico watched Will try to talk to the undead chef as they left the room together, and he smiled to himself briefly before turning to Hades. "What now? I told you if she mentioned the dandelion thing I would leave."

"Yes, yes," Hades waved off Nico's statement as he gave Persephone a disapproving look. "You've stayed for long enough already. I just wanted to say you're right. He's not much like his father. And he clearly cares about you very much."

"Oh," Nico relaxed. "Well, thanks."

"I'll see both of you back here next month."

"Dad!" Nico whined as Persephone laughed. "Why?"

"I want to be involved with my son's life, and he's told me more about it than you ever have," Hades said coolly.

Nico snorted. "Well, you just told him way more about my mom than you ever told me, so I guess that makes sense."

Hades sighed. "I don't know, Nico. Talking about the time I shared with your mother is still...quite difficult for me at times." The father and son barely noticed Persephone standing and leaving the dining room with a huff as the conversation turned back to Maria.

"So what? Will randomly makes it easier for you?"

"Strangely, yes." Hades shrugged. "Hearing him talk about your relationship really did remind me of Maria, especially of when I first met her." He paused and swallowed before continuing. "And it gives me hope that he will be better for you than I ever was for Maria or your sister or you, Nico."

"I see," Nico replied steadily.

"I have never been able to forgive myself easily, but seeing the hero you have grown into and the home you created for yourself with demigods like him makes me realize any parenting on my part no longer matters." Hades cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "I will not force you to come here with him again, but I would appreciate it if you could anyway."

"That's fair," Nico acknowledged. "We can visit again if you tell me more about mom."

"That is also fair."

"Deal," Nico smiled at his father and was relieved to see a genuine smile in return.

"Jacques is my designated Underworld buddy now, just letting you know." Will loudly reintroduced himself into the conversation as he came back to the dining room with a box of zeppole in hand. "Thanks again for having me here, sir."

"Anytime, Will Solace."

Will took Nico's hand and squeezed affectionately. Nico squeezed back.

"Bye, Dad." Nico half-waved at his father. "We'll see you later."

A/N: That seemed as good a place as any to end it. I wanted to explore the comedy of Will meeting Hades, but I also thought it would be nice to work on this father-son relationship some more. I might do a second part where Nico gets to meet Will's mom, which could be very fun given we know basically nothing about her. What do y'all think?

As always, hit that review button if you'd like to see me update again soon :)

~Bobbi